Share & Scrotox & Tell with Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kayne Nolan and Pablo Torre

Summary

Pablo Torre Finds Out – Episode Summary

Episode: Share & Scrotox & Tell with Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kayne, and Pablo Torre
Date: February 13, 2025
Host: Pablo Torre
Guests: Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kayne

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Main Theme / Purpose

In this lively, irreverent episode, Pablo Torre is joined by friends Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kayne for a classic “Share & Tell”—a roundtable of trending cultural oddities, sports gossip, and weird medical trends, with each host bringing their own curiosity to the table. They dive into eyebrow-raising cosmetic procedures (“Scrotox” and “labia puffing”), dissect the viral drama of Bill Belichick’s girlfriend’s Super Bowl cameo, and deliver a scathing, comedic takedown of Elon Musk’s embarrassing attempt to pass as a top video game athlete. Underneath the banter, the trio explores deeper questions about authenticity, modern image obsession, and why people feel compelled to embellish (or outright fake) their personal brands.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Warm-Up Banter & The Invention of the Mirror

• The show opens with the group joking about glasses-cleaning methods and self-maintenance.
• Michael muses on the invention of the mirror, leading to a goofy, Wikipedia-fueled game of guessing who invented the modern mirror (Justus von Liebig in 1835).

  “Do you think he gets, like, his estate gets a nickel every time you look in a mirror? They should.” —Michael (04:32)

• The segment highlights how exposure to self-image has changed over centuries and segues into the personal branding theme.

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2. Super Bowl Parties and The Evolution of Experience

• The trio reflects on their personal experiences at Super Bowl parties and how their relationship to the event changes with age, work, and social life.
• Katie admits to “just wanting to hang out and not really care about the game,” and that the ads/commercials are no longer appointment viewing.
• Pablo notes the contrast between attending a Super Bowl and missing the most entertaining parts (commercials).

Memorable Moment:

“[The Super Bowl]...you miss a lot of stuff, but you don't care. That's exactly what this type of Super Bowl was for for me. I don't really care…I'll catch the ones that matter tomorrow when somebody says something about it online.” —Katie (06:35)

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3. The Belichick-Girlfriend Super Bowl Ad Saga

• The group breaks down the now-infamous Dunkin' Super Bowl ad featuring Bill Belichick and his much-younger girlfriend Jordan, who also appears in the spot as a sort of “Boston Avengers” cameo.
• Pablo investigates how she landed in the commercial, uncovering that Jordan essentially acts as Belichick’s “momager”—serving as his agent and gatekeeper for media appearances.
• The dynamic raises playful questions and serious implications about motivation, authenticity, and power in relationships with stark age gaps.

Notable Quote:

"Jordan…has been functioning as Bill Belichick’s momager. The person you need to go through to book Bill Belichick…she’s the gateway. In this case, she used that power to be in the commercial as well.”—Pablo (10:50)

• The hosts also joke about social media mishaps and Snoop Dogg’s NFL Honors roast:

  “What was it? Bill Belichick's girlfriend wasn't even born yet.” —Snoop Dogg, recounted by Michael (14:33)

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4. Elon Musk’s Video Game-Lying Scandal

• Pablo brings the “story of the moment”: Elon Musk claims to be a top player (world-class) in several video games (Diablo 4, Path of Exile 2).

  “He then proceeded to brag about how he then became a top ranked player in a different game...This got the attention of some hardcore POE players…” —Pablo (17:31)

• Actual gaming experts quickly suspect he is lying due to obvious lack of skill in live streams.
• Internet sleuths uncover that Musk has been hiring pro “boosters” to secretly play on his accounts.
• Musk tries to counter-attack, insults accusers, and eventually confesses—while doubling down with performative defensiveness (“everyone cheats,” “it’s impossible to win without help in Asia,” etc.).

Notable Quotes:

• “It's the most embarrassing possible outcome. If I told people I was really good at video games, I would live my life petrified that somebody was gonna ask me to prove it.” —Katie (21:47)

• “How you do anything is how you do everything…you're lying about this, right? This is who you are.” —Michael (23:19)

• The trio connects Musk’s small but telling fraud to broader questions about trust, self-mythologizing, and leadership in the “era of unchecked narcissism.”

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5. Cosmetic Body Trends: Labia Puffing & Scrotox

• Michael brings up a New York Post piece on “labia puffing”—a filler injection trend for more “youthful,” plumper labia.
• Katie and Michael debate whether men even notice this, while Katie argues that porn-influenced aesthetics shape more of the dating world than older generations realize.
• The crew then discusses "Scrotox" (Botox injections in the scrotum to smooth or increase volume) and the lengths people will go to for perceived attractiveness, even when the audience may not care.

Memorable Exchanges:

• “The balls aren't getting a lot of air time with my eyes. I'm not really gazing upon your sack.” —Katie (30:13)
• “What are we doing? I'm do it in the dark. Close your eyes and get off. What are we doing? Why are you like…This doesn't hold up under a ring light.” —Katie (30:26)

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6. The Matt Rife / Male Cosmetic Surgery Spiral

• Conversation flows into the “male jawline” trend and speculation around comedian Matt Rife’s alleged facial surgery.
• Katie lays out Rife’s public shift from crowd work heartthrob to controversial, surgically-altered comedian (with a tangent about Jordan Peterson).
• They unpack the psychological spiral: once you alter one part, there’s pressure to “fix” everything, paralleling self-image issues for all genders.

Quote:

“I think the thing that you've alluded to…is you start with the one thing and then you fine tune too much…I do it with a lot of stuff in my life, which is why…I have not yet and will eventually probably open this door and start to…work on this hyper masculine jaw.” —Katie (36:08)

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7. Connecting Trends: Tom Brady, Extremes in Self-Modification, and Cultural Pressures

• Pablo observes how public figures like Tom Brady and Chad Ochocinco exemplify the urge to constantly tweak and “improve” themselves, whether it’s jawlines or, humorously, penis surgery.
• The group jokes about Ochocinco’s candidness regarding his own insecurities and surgical “solutions”—raising the shamelessness stakes.
• Michael notes the escalation: “Instead of being like, we're gonna fix that [gendered aesthetic pressures], it's like, you know, what we'll do is we'll pressure for everybody. Everybody's problem.” (38:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |------------|--------------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:32 | Michael Cruz Kayne | “Do you think [Justus von Liebig's] estate gets a nickel every time you look in a mirror? They should.” | | 06:35 | Katie Nolan | “You miss a lot of stuff, but you don't care…I'll catch the ones that matter tomorrow when somebody says something about it online.” | | 10:50 | Pablo Torre | “Jordan…has been functioning as Bill Belichick’s momager.” | | 14:33 | Snoop (via Michael)| “Bill Belichick's girlfriend wasn't even born yet.” | | 21:47 | Katie Nolan | “If I told people I was really good at video games, I would live my life petrified that somebody was gonna ask me to prove it.” | | 23:19 | Michael Cruz Kayne | “How you do anything is how you do everything…you're lying about this, right? This is who you are.” | | 30:13 | Katie Nolan | “The balls aren't getting a lot of air time with my eyes. I'm not really gazing upon your sack.” | | 36:08 | Katie Nolan | “You start with the one thing and then you fine tune too much…I do it with a lot of stuff in my life…”| | 38:19 | Michael Cruz Kayne | “Instead of being like, we're gonna fix that…it's like…we'll pressure for everybody. Everybody's problem.” |

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

• [00:00–05:00] Warm-up banter, invention of mirrors, and branding
• [05:34–10:34] Super Bowl party stories, watching as adults
• [10:35–15:34] Belichick, Jordan, and the Dunkin' ad—rise of the “momager”
• [16:19–26:55] The Elon Musk video game scandal: fraud, denial, confession, and implications
• [27:22–34:46] Labia puffing, Scrotox, and chasing youth—aesthetic escalation for all
• [34:47–38:13] The Matt Rife jawline rabbit hole; cosmetic culture’s spiral
• [38:14–41:31] Connecting the dots: Tom Brady, Ochocinco, and modern shamelessness
• [41:32–end] Wrap-up: What did we actually “find out” today?

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Tone & Style

The episode is marked by quick wit, biting sarcasm, and vulnerable honesty—balancing sharp critiques of cultural absurdity (Musk’s gaming lie, cosmetic fads) with empathy (for aging, insecurity, and the human need for validation). The chemistry between hosts, their willingness to poke fun at themselves, and the use of playful hypotheticals ("What verb would you prefer he used [for his penis]?") give the episode a loose, comedic talk-show feel punctuated by real insight.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode embodies PTFO’s mission: exploring the underbelly of sports, tech, and body culture with a strange mix of deadpan humor and journalistic curiosity. Come for the “Scrotox” jokes, stay for the subtler commentary on authenticity, the performative pressures of modern life, and why some lies matter even when the stakes seem trivial.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre. Today's episode is brought to you by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours. And today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

[B]

They couldn't believe we weren't keeping our.

[A]

Bush around right after this ad.

[B]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings. Oh, my glasses are what I left in my jacket. You're not showing us anything, are you?

[A]

Undoubtedly.

[B]

Okay, we get.

[A]

Katie, your glasses.

[B]

No, no, they're in a, like, hidden pocket.

[C]

What do the other ones do? Don't worry about this one. This is your own voice. This is the first one. Oh, yeah. Lots of me, baby. What if I. Can I make it? Only me and none of them. Can I just not hear them.

[B]

Guys always have it cold in here.

[A]

Is it too hot?

[B]

Oh, they're dirty. No, I just.

[A]

What's your glasses cleaning? Move? Oh, just rubbing it again. Straight, dry. Real dry.

[B]

You make it wet?

[A]

I fog it up.

[B]

Oh, sometimes.

[A]

Yeah, sometimes the human body has its own Amazon device.

[B]

What are you talking about, fog it up? Hold on. I'm gonna move.

[A]

I'm not using the temperature of the human body. And then you wipe it down.

[C]

Amazon device.

[B]

Is that okay? If I do it wrong, I do everything right. Can I do this wrong?

[A]

I feel like there are micro abrasions throughout the lens.

[C]

Oh, you're gonna have micro abrasions like crazy.

[B]

Yeah, these things suck. I. You know, I wore broken glasses for three years before I finally was like, I deserve to upgrade these. I just. I don't like taking care of myself. I don't enjoy the act of taking care of myself.

[C]

Something I think about a lot is the invention of the mirror. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

[B]

Screw that person.

[C]

And if it hadn't been for that, you wouldn't have to.

[A]

Do we have cameras for the invention? Do we think a person. There's a person who invented the mirror.

[C]

As opposed to a discovery.

[B]

Discovery of a thing.

[A]

Of a thing that I don't know.

[C]

The thing I think about all the time is, like, if you got a haircut in the year, like, you know, six, would you just have to, like, go down to the lake and be like, does this look good? Be like, no, Nobody splash.

[B]

And then I want to see what this looks like too long because you're so handsome.

[C]

What if you look at you like that? Yeah, exactly. That could happen. It could happen. Yes, that's right. Little Echo and Narcissus.

[B]

Nurse Nar. Nars. Narcissus. That's Right.

[A]

Justus von Liebig found or is credited with inventing the silvered glass mirror. In what year do you think this was?

[B]

Eight Eustace teens.

[A]

German chemist.

[C]

German chemist.

[A]

German chemist.

[B]

How late is it?

[C]

That's it. That's. I'm surprised. This feels like one of those things where if we look it up someplace else, they're going to be like, a Chinese dude invented this a thousand years before.

[A]

Admittedly, I always have to say this. Now, this is the AI overview.

[B]

Isn't that crazy that now more than ever, I feel like. Well, I should say I got this from the Internet, so. So, God only knows.

[A]

McGill University has backed this up separately. Okay.

[C]

I'm putting him at 1305.

[B]

I think it's, like, creepy late, but I don't want to be so wrong that it's embarrassing. So I'll say five years after what he said.

[C]

That's another Jeopardy. This is not.

[B]

This is Price is Right game show. Right? We're not all the same.

[A]

The price is wrong. 1835.

[B]

Okay. Check the tape. I said in 18. I said in 18.

[A]

And I was like.

[B]

You said early. I was like, oh, I feel stupid.

[C]

There's no way.

[B]

Damn it, Katie. Believe in yourself.

[C]

You're telling me none of those people. King Tut, none of those, had a mirror?

[B]

No. Because I think once we got the mirror, then we got the lens, then everything changed. Like, glasses happened and. And all that, but you wouldn't have needed any.

[A]

Are you doing a Don Draper sales pitch for mirrors right now?

[B]

Yeah, I think.

[C]

Or maybe they. Maybe this had, like, reflective surfaces that weren't mirrors. Is that possible? Like, could you have. I. I don't even know.

[A]

Let me give you some fine print on Eustace von Liebig in 1835.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

A discovery by the great German chemist Justus von Liebig in 1835 made mirrors widely available. Liebig found a way to coat glass with a thin layer of metallic silver by depositing the metal directly by means of a chemical reaction. So when it comes to the question, according to McGill University's page, how are mirrors made? The answer is. Eustace von Liebig, 1835, discovered that.

[C]

Do you think he gets, like, his estate gets a nickel every time you look in a mirror? They should. Every time you look, you got to send a nickel to Eustace Estates.

[B]

Okay. I'm glad we covered that.

[C]

It's something I've been thinking about a lot. I should have made that my topic for the day. Do you have embroidered sweatshirts yeah, that's my. Those are my initials right there.

[B]

That's some fancy guy.

[C]

My wife got me one, I think, like, as a semi joke, and then I wore it every single day. And now it's like your own merch. Yeah. Not available in stores. Available in stores. If you.

[B]

Your sweatshirt is right. I assume you.

[C]

You could probably. You could probably hire J. Crew to put the same letters on it, right?

[A]

Promo code Eustace.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Interesting. Interesting.

[C]

Yeah. I'm actually interesting guy.

[B]

Kind of a fashion icon.

[C]

Yeah, well, I'm pretty interesting.

[B]

So.

[A]

What was the super bowl like for you guys? Did you guys.

[B]

I went to a party.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

I haven't been to a Super bowl party, and, like, not a big one, but I haven't been to a. A social gathering for the super bowl in a long time.

[A]

Why did you go?

[B]

Because I. I had no reason not to. People that I liked were all going to watch the super bowl together.

[A]

I think this is coming out of an episode that we did. Committing to going to parties.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I'd love to go to a party. But years before I was going to the super bowl, you see, I had work, and then usually I would either go to the game or I would leave because the network didn't want to pay for me to be there for the actual Super Bowl. So I would go watch it, like, on my way back home somewhere.

[C]

So you would be like, in the city of the super bowl, but.

[B]

Or I would be like, I'd fly home and watch it, or I'd be like, stuck on a layover or something. Then last year, Dan, like the last couple years, like, Dan went. And so I was just like, at home watching it alone. And then this year, I went to a party and I was like this. It's spend such a long time. You miss a lot of stuff, but you don't care. That's exactly what this type of super bowl was for for me. Was like, I don't really care. Gun to my head, go Birds. But I don't really care. I'll watch the halftime show. Excited for that. But, like, don't have any high hopes for the commercials. It's been a couple years of being disappointed by the commercials. So I'm not like, I need to sit down and make sure I see them all. I was like, I'll catch the ones that matter tomorrow when somebody says something about it online.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I'm just gonna go watch the game and hang out.

[A]

So I have been to a Super Bowl. I went to the Atlanta Super Bowl. It was the Patriots, Rams. It sucks.

[B]

Yeah. That was a very boring.

[A]

It was like 10 to 13 or whatever.

[B]

There was a lot of threes in there.

[A]

Yeah. I remember sitting there falling asleep during the game and saying aloud at one point. I missed the commercials.

[B]

Yeah. And the halftime show was. Okay.

[A]

I don't remember what it was.

[B]

It wasn't what it wasn't. It didn't go like I wanted it to.

[A]

I assume that Michael Cruz Kane super bowl party is mostly him singing snippets.

[C]

From me with the volume off. I'm telling everyone else to be quiet while I sing Les Mis. And the Super Bowl's on.

[A]

I texted you guys for. I think what is obvious to anybody who has seen us previously on this program cover a, like, truly insanely developing story.

[B]

Yes. About Belichick's girlfriend, Jordan.

[C]

Jordan.

[B]

I think it's just Jordan. Jordan.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Jordan.

[A]

Look at how it's spelled.

[B]

You're right.

[C]

I like saying it like Jordan because it. It feels like she's from the Superman universe. Like. Yeah, Gorgon Jordan.

[B]

Jordan.

[A]

I believe that we need proof that she isn't based on the. I haven't seen any Ascent.

[B]

That's right. In a Super bowl commercial.

[C]

Battle of the Coffee Brand band.

[B]

This ain't the Dunkings. Where the hell are Matt and Tom?

[C]

Forget them suckers. Matt Damon and Brady don't have the heart of a champion. We got a new squad. Dunking sequel. Affleck and Belichick dunking. So this is just Cameo City. Right? It's just.

[B]

That's. That's the Super Bowl. That's what the super.

[A]

How would you summarize the Duncan commercial? The franchise that this now is, I guess, for people who are not seeing this.

[B]

Oh, I don't know. It's like a Boston Avengers Assemble. Ben Affleck is sitting with his brother in a. Who's wearing a pink kangal.

[C]

And wasn't that. Wasn't the brother removed from public view for a while?

[B]

He sure was.

[C]

He's coming back in the Duncan.

[B]

No, I think he's come back before this and other stuff, but he's here. And arguably the better actor. But anyway, in the back, we see Belichick, who cut the sleeves off of his Dun King's orange jumpsuit. And next to him in questionable hair and makeup. I don't know what they're trying to do to Jordan, but it seems like they're trying to make her look like a stereotypical football wife or something. Or this is her aesthetic, and I'm just not familiar with it.

[A]

What was your reaction, Michael, when you saw Jordan?

[C]

I was watching the super bowl with my wife, my daughter and my daughter's friend. Shout out Lupe. And my son was at a Super bowl party. This commercial came on. I screamed, that's his girlfriend. And the three women I was with were like, what are you saying? What are you talking about? And I, every time they showed her, I went, that's his girlfriend. And I had to explain to him like the significance of it. But I was like, he's this age and she's that age.

[B]

I wish that she was 27 so it'd be easier to remember that he's 72 and she's 27, she's 24. And so it's like, man, this is the closest his age swapped will ever be.

[C]

She's a third. She's a, that's a, it's an even third. Boom, boom, boom. Right up to, right up there, there's A guy who's 2, 3 Jordans makes one Bill Belichick.

[A]

The fact that she's here, I mean, I just want to point this out. Right? Like her being in the super bowl commercial with Bill Belichick in this premise where it's like we're the Boston Avengers and she's just there. Yeah, it, it made me very curious.

[B]

She from, she's from.

[A]

I thought she's from the New England area. Again, a former competitive cheerleader.

[C]

We're like 10 minutes away from her being quarterback Unc.

[B]

She has, she has a ring from.

[A]

A cheerleading Bridgewater State University in Massachusetts.

[C]

She's like a baller cheerleader. She's real good.

[A]

She won a natty.

[B]

A natty.

[A]

Which is to say, look, Jordan has accomplished plenty in her own life.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But in this context, and like, why, how did she make it into the commercial?

[B]

Well, I could name away.

[A]

It set me off on a bit of a mini reporting trail.

[C]

Okay, here we go.

[A]

What I've been told is that Jordan essentially has been functioning as Bill Belichick's momager. Momager.

[B]

Nuh.

[A]

That is so much better than what I was going to say. But she has represented herself essentially as his de facto agent. The person who you need to go through to book Bill Belichick for a Super bowl commercial or for the other commitments he has as a multi platform personality, she's the gateway. And so in this case, what I have been told reliably is that Jordan happened to then use that power to be in the commercial as well. So again, more power to her, I guess. But she's a momager. Jordan is Katie. I think you had it right. She's Bill's momager.

[C]

Absolutely. Good for her. Go get it, girly. You're feeling the phone calls.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Lord knows what it's like being Belichick's 1:30 negotiating with the.

[B]

It's also you like, you're teaching him the art of yes. He's like, in his year of yes. Where you're like, listen, I know you don't want to do it, Bill, but I said yes, and now it's a commitment, and now you have to go do it.

[A]

80 for Brady has been outclassed by 24 for I can't make this rhyme. But for Bill Belichick.

[B]

I don't know if you saw Charlotte on her podcast sports gossip show. Had like, a theory that they were fighting, that these two were in a fight leading up to at the Super Bowl. They think that she's posting to his social media, which would make sense.

[A]

Heard this.

[B]

And they think at one point in his story, he had just posted like, the. The text of a link www.linktree.com and it was like the text of that was the story, which is obviously not clickable. It's not how Instagram works. And they thought that Bill made that post, so they must have been in some sort of a fight where he'd be like, I'll do it. And I just think that's interesting in this context of her being him.

[A]

She wasn't chaperoning.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That that story.

[C]

This is actually really interesting intel.

[A]

But I think the point should not be lost that Bill Belichick is doing literally the opposite of what he used to do.

[B]

Yeah. And I want to be clear in saying that that could be. I hold space for the fact. Let me hold your finger. That that could be. That could actually be that. Because they're in love. And she has changed him as a man and she's taught him about how like to live in the moment and to embrace the opportunities that you have and that they're like, so in love with each other and it's beautiful. There is a chance of that.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

But when you make moves this way, when we're already going, you're how much younger than him? And then you see her show up in a commercial and then you hear that she's in char of his career, that's when you go, okay, these are all also the traits of somebody who would be here for the wrong reasons. I need to see some of the traits that are evidence that you are here for the Right reasons. Otherwise, you're acting like the evidence is adding up. It seems like you could be taking advantage of the guy.

[C]

But what if.

[B]

And he's obviously taking advantage of the girl.

[C]

So I. That's what I'm saying. If they're both there for the wrong reasons, isn't it the right reason Reasons?

[B]

No. What is the reason?

[A]

I believe, mathematically speaking, yes.

[C]

Two negatives make a right reason.

[B]

At what point is it elder abuse, I guess well, is the question.

[A]

I feel like he has his faculties.

[B]

He does.

[A]

He has his wits about him.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

For now. Do we agree, as a show, as previously established, that we should be able to sit in chairs that are turned the other way, like on the Voice, and listen.

[C]

I think about this.

[B]

I just want to listen to a chat. I just want to hear y' all talk. Just talk, just talk.

[A]

Just talk. And then we can press a button.

[B]

Can I say to her credit, I don't know if you saw at the NFL Honors, Snoop Dogg made a joke.

[C]

About her football fan for a long, long time. I mean, I remember back when the Cowboys was good. I remember back when the Chiefs was bad. And I remember. What was it? Bill Belichick's girlfriend wasn't even born yet.

[B]

He starts the joke before he remembers the punchline. And then he, like, buys himself some time and then delivers, like, a little too much time.

[C]

Like, do you think their relationship is a lot of Bill being like, how do you get the Internet on here?

[B]

Tell me what the scores are.

[C]

How do you get. Hey, can you tell me how to get texts on my phone?

[A]

Is it always the same driver in Uber or is it different guys?

[C]

It's like when your dad gets an iPad.

[A]

I wish we were in the writers room for that. For the Jordan material.

[C]

Yes, Snoop, if you're looking for writers for the next time you host the whatever that was.

[B]

NFL.

[A]

NFL honor.

[C]

Three of us are here ready to.

[A]

Rock an awards show. I do like that the NFL was like, we need an Academy Awards.

[B]

So silly.

[A]

I love it. I love, of course, a tortured relationship with winning awards in general. We need and desperately crave external validation.

[C]

And yet not me, buddy. I don't need it from anyone.

[B]

Nice. That's cool.

[C]

Very comfortable. Not a single person self sufficient emotionally and psychologically.

[B]

And what are you doing in comedy?

[C]

What's that.

[B]

Foreign.

[A]

I wanted to talk about this Elon.

[B]

Story, the video game story, you know? You know, I'm fired up.

[A]

So. There are many ways to talk about Elon right now, and many of them are valid and all of Them have to do largely with him now running the federal government and cutting budget to like people who need medicine for aids.

[B]

No, he's making it more efficient, Pablo. You just got to give him time. It's going to hurt before it heals.

[A]

I believe that that is a valid method of talking about Elon Musk. But a more, I think directly informative and illuminating one has to do with the story about video games. I have a lifetime of playing video games. At one point I was, you know, maybe one of the best Quake players in the world.

[C]

You're actually like a world class incredible video game player.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You're also with the Paragon board and the build.

[A]

You're also an innovator there. Yeah, I've played a lot of video games.

[C]

If you think about like Starcraft or any game like Quake, any game where a lot of people are playing to rise to the top, you have to be exceptional, period. As a human being. There has to be something exceptional about you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you in the top 20 in the world or top 20? Wow. In Diablo?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Clips from all my favorite shows.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Clips from my programs.

[A]

Yeah. He claimed to be one of the top 20 Diablo players, the forest mage. And he had just become, as of November 2024, the number one in the world, going to these leaderboards with millions of people on them. He then proceeded to brag about how he then became a top ranked player in a different game, a game known as POE, which stands for Path of Exile. Path of Exile 2 in this case. And this got the attention of some hardcore POE players who were like, what's, what's going on here? How is the world's richest man who is also running the federal government and is involved in electric cars and rockets and space and hyper fast Internet connectivity? How does he have the time that is actually required to get highly ranked in these games? So what happens is Elon goes live. He Streams himself playing Poe 2 and these people, these streamers who are actual like hardcore experts and players are watching. Dude, you are not this far in.

[C]

The game and you're running past Chaos Orbs. You are not. No, I'm sorry, bro, bro, bro. There's no way you are not leaving Chaos swabs on AC Trade.

[B]

AC Trade.

[C]

Castles are valuable. This is a border camp, bro.

[A]

He has no idea what he's doing. He's no idea what. He literally has no idea what he's doing. And they see that and they're like, something isn't adding up. Elon does not seem to Know what he's doing?

[B]

Like basic, like menu navigation, like, I don't that video game. But watching him kind of walk into wall, you're like, that's how a person that's doesn't play games plays.

[A]

Oh, the best part is that he's bragging about all of this. He's bragging about how he had this, his. This post on X in which he said, quote, so many life lessons to be learned from speedrunning video games on max difficulty teaches you to see the matrix rather than simply exist in the matrix. End quote.

[C]

Yo, I think this guy sucks.

[B]

Based on what evidence?

[A]

So all of these people begin picking up on Reddit. They start compiling this dossier and they're like, okay, he doesn't know how to use a mana flask, which is very embarrassing, obviously.

[B]

Very embarrassing.

[A]

He's picking items up by dragging them into his inventory manually.

[B]

Right?

[A]

He is struggling to understand why he cannot pick up an item when his inventory is full. And he has maybe indictingly on his account, he has a tab for his maps called Elon's map, which is a weird thing to call it when you have all of the maps. Why wouldn't it just be maps? And so what it turns out to be is, of course, a giant series of lies in which he has hired people to play the game for him, and he just lied about all of them.

[C]

Eventually, he came clean on possible thing.

[A]

Great question, Michael. So what happens is Zach Hoyt a popular gaming streamer known as asmongold. He said that this is, I mean, part of the crime here is that if you're really into video games, this is horrifically embarrassing. The whole point is that you're actually like there spending time right in the trenches playing these games. He's the one who said that Musk was insecure and lying about this. It's a truly sad day for gamers. And Elon Musk said in a since deleted post that, quote, he had been on hundreds of streams playing live with the world's best players, and that it was Zach Hoyt, in fact, who was not good at video games. He's good. My critic is bad, actually.

[C]

You're. Who's making this up.

[B]

I'm rubber and you're glue.

[C]

Your dad had an emerald mine.

[A]

And then he took Zach Hoyt's blue check away, naturally, as you do, because.

[B]

It'S not supposed to be about earning it, you know?

[A]

But then finally, as people began to assemble yet more and more evidence, evidence that he in fact, was doing something that's Very common, which is paying other people to level up. Your character Elon has to do an interview. And in that interview, with a gaming streamer known as Nico Rex, he confesses finally. But as a video game enthusiast, Katie, just. Let's talk about the sin involved here.

[B]

Yeah, it's the most embarrassing possible outcome. If I told people I was really good at video games, I would live my life petrified that somebody was gonna ask me to prove it. I would never walk around being like, yeah, I'm the best. Oh, you want me to prove it? I would never get on the sticks. Are you out of your mind? Why would you immediately prove it? You thought we wouldn't know the difference? It's this, like. It's the thing about Elon Musk that has never made sense to me is this just blind faith in himself and the fact that everyone will buy it, so it doesn't really matter. And people are willing to give him that credit. And so, like, as a video game person, I'm like, listen, my culture is not a costume. You can't. Like, we don't make fun of people that are good at video games and say they don't have a job. And then a guy with, like, the most money who does the most jobs also is the best at the video games. It doesn't. The world doesn't work like that. And I feel like it's where I go nuts is when I'm seeing, like. Well, for Elon Musk, apparently, the world is like that. You can just caught. Be caught telling an incredibly embarrassing lie and then just be in charge of the government. Like, what an embarrassing lie. This used to end people. Stuff like this.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And he's not. He doesn't even go here. He's not even from here. And yet, in the face of the most embarrassing lie to be caught in, he's caught in it. And then he's like, by the way, you don't have USAID anymore.

[A]

You're bad.

[C]

And the thing that's so embarrassing about it, because it is so embarrassing, is you don't need this lie.

[B]

It doesn't help you in any way.

[C]

Just leave it alone. Just be the richest man. But what it makes you think is how you do anything is how you do everything.

[A]

So that's.

[C]

You're lying about this, right? This is who you are, right? Someone who is so profoundly incapable of feeling loved that you have to jump through. And I'm also. Oh, and. And I'm also the. I'm the best pole vaulter dad. And I'm also The best at checkers. You're not, bro. Just leave it alone.

[A]

So this is why I. I love this story, is because it is deeply symptomatic of a larger character. And the character is the guy, to Katie's point, who's like deeply, deeply unworried that all of the morons out there are ever gonna catch on, right? And all.

[B]

He doesn't respect you guys.

[A]

Like, look at his accounts. Like, the way he handles any conversation about anything is reflective of somebody who just doesn't respect the people reading it.

[C]

Really? It's like. It's so pathetic to me. It's so humiliating. And I have so much sympathy for someone that pathetic and unloved. Except that he's got the hands on the levers of every badge.

[B]

He's got the most money in the most world. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So eventually what happens? Because Elon Musk tries to deny and counter, insult and spin, and then he ends up getting in a conversation with a gaming streamer known as Nicorex. And Nicorex asks him point blank quote, have you ever level boosted parentheses had someone else play your accounts and or purchased gear resources for POE2 and Diablo 4? And Musk says, 100 emoji. It's impossible to beat players in Asia if you don't.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

It is perfect. Just perfect.

[C]

Just what an incredible. Like a little a soup saw of racism just to kind of.

[B]

You know what that soup saw? It puts it in people's mouths and then they go, oh, he's right.

[A]

He says all top characters require multiple people playing the account to win a leveling race. He is. He is continuing to now, by the way. He also says he's asked, would you apologize to the Poe 2 community? And he says, what would I be apologizing for?

[C]

And I'm just like, I don't know anything about gaming. So, like, maybe you do. If you want to be the number one ranked player with the Point Pervert five or whatever game you're playing, you might need to have 10 guys get together and all be like, trade in their masturbating points to get to the top of the thing, whatever it is.

[A]

But.

[C]

But you should just be honest.

[A]

Just be like, you know that the thing is.

[C]

And also, I'm sorry, just one more thing. He sucks though, right? Isn't that what we find out?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You're not one of the.

[B]

It's not.

[C]

You're of the top guys in the rotation. You suck. You're the worst guy on the team.

[A]

He is telling us now officially that he is lying and cheating about wildly small stakes stuff that isn't actually important to his fortunes. Literally speaking. And so the question I have, whenever it comes to like, so what do you think of this guy? Is like, just know he's that guy. What else is that guy doing? When it comes to stuff that actually does.

[B]

Why wouldn't he employ the same tactics but probably on like a bigger scale?

[A]

Why do you trust this guy?

[C]

It's.

[B]

He's a liar.

[A]

He's a cheat. Literally a cheater and a liar.

[C]

His excuse for it also is such a window into his psyche that's like, well, everybody's cheating. Not everybody know.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You think that because that's your nature.

[B]

Exactly. You're thinking that everybody thinks the way you do.

[A]

He's like a perfect character for our time, though.

[B]

I don't know. It's in a. In a cool way.

[C]

He's literally the avatar for all of civilization right now. I read an article in the New York Post. Absolutely had to be real about a trend. Also must be a trend, because the New York Post says that it is.

[A]

Two people have done it online about.

[C]

Women doing something called labia puffing, where you take filler or like Botox or something and inject it into your labia to make your labia look younger, I guess puffy or certainly puffier.

[A]

What is not in dispute is that it becomes puffier.

[B]

The puffier is the younger. We don't have to pretend those are separate. That's.

[C]

I believe, I believe that. I guess I don't. What I thought about it the second that I read it is I don't think that most men. And maybe you're not doing it for men. I don't think that most men get to the point in a. In an encounter where they go, I, you know, I wish the labia looked younger. I think at that point you're mostly like, I'm actually really enjoying myself and I'd like to keep going in the direction that I was going.

[B]

I don't mean to rain on a parade, but I feel like you were not single and seeking. How long have you been married?

[C]

A very long time. I've been married since 2008 or something.

[B]

We weren't in our porn brain era.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

As heavily then.

[C]

So do you think that porn is so in, like, the culture's so infected?

[B]

I think it has an effect on the sexual interactions of single people now. I think it's different than it was for us. And this happens in every generation where, like our, our generation. I don't even really want to talk about this. I feel like our. The difference between my mom's and mine was that, like, they couldn't believe we weren't keeping our bush around. And I feel like that was because you wanted to look younger. This might be that. I just think you're right for your.

[A]

For.

[B]

It makes sense for you, but I don't know that that's the way it is for kids now.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I feel like how some people don't like Kendrick Lamar. You're like, this is my. That.

[A]

Yeah. This is a. This is a hinge category. I believe there's, like, labia.

[B]

How. How thick are your labium? Is your. Is one labium, and there's like, a score, right?

[A]

This is the headline from the New York Post. Labia puffing is the latest NSFW cosmetic trend. Quote, I'm getting turned on just looking at myself.

[B]

Oh, my God. What?

[A]

Quote.

[B]

What?

[A]

So that was said by a patient, according to this person whose last name is Milhouse, which I appreciate. Milhouse is.

[C]

Hold on. It's good, isn't there? I'm sorry to interrupt you, but also, wasn't there recently a like, Scrotox? Isn't that also a thing where the. The dudes are injecting the.

[A]

The. The guys are killing my Scrotox. I Google searches.

[C]

I believe. Where are you getting beautiful portmanteau?

[B]

And that's to make them less wrinkly.

[C]

To make your less veiny or maybe less droopy or. I don't know why I'm not.

[B]

And this is porn brain doesn't change this at all. The balls aren't getting a lot of air time with my eyes. I'm not really gazing upon your sack. I don't know.

[A]

Behold. Where were you 10 years ago?

[B]

What are we doing? I'm do it in the dark. Close your eyes and get off. What are we doing? Why are you like. This doesn't hold up under a. In a ring light.

[A]

Scrotox is a cosmetic procedure that involves injecting Botox.

[C]

Is this also for what.

[B]

To what end? Because you're putting a toxin next to your boys. That's not a good idea.

[A]

Well, According to this Healthline.com story, which I believe is a real publication, but may not be, frankly, Scrotox was first used as a way to relieve scrotum pain. If surgery didn't resolve the issue, fine.

[B]

That's like, for the jaw people when they have. What's that called? Tmj. And they get Botox for that. And it's Like a medical treatment of the thing.

[A]

I've had some tmj.

[B]

You might need to get some talks. Or maybe this is like when people say that they broke their nose, but it was actually just a cover for.

[C]

No, I don't know, maybe. I had pretty bad tmj, so I got Botox in my scrotum to kind of fix that. And now that jaw's basically good.

[A]

It was first used as a way to relieve scrotum pain if surgery didn't resolve the issue.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Since 2016, thereabouts, more and more people are trying it out to purportedly make their sacks bigger and their sex better. I'm getting the sign. I'm not sure health lines, the authority.

[B]

That I thought it was going to be better.

[C]

Really imp.

[A]

Journalistically speaking. Not sure they're.

[B]

This isn't an abstract.

[C]

This.

[A]

This is not helping my journal.

[B]

So the topic you brought was that we're making our lips puffier.

[C]

I'm talking about. Well, it was jaw, chin, chins. But that made me think of. I had recently read a thing in the post about labia puffing, which made me think of a thing that had also recently read about Scrotox. And you can sort of from this tell what the algorithm is doing.

[B]

What's the jawline thing?

[A]

Right. So the jawline trying to change you.

[B]

And I don't think you should change yourself at all.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

So except your balls. They are shriveling. Could use a bit more.

[C]

Yeah, I'm posting a lot of.

[A]

Yeah, you should make your sacks bigger.

[B]

We've all been thinking it.

[C]

Bigger.

[B]

Glad we're finally saying bigger.

[C]

So wait, what was the jawline thing? The jawline thing was guys getting. Getting hardcore jawlines. Like, you know, like taking fat.

[B]

Right. Allegedly.

[C]

Like Matt Rife. Matt Rife's in the article.

[A]

Can you explain Matt Rife's Handsome Squidward. Very good, Very good.

[B]

No, Matt Rife started his big pop, I believe was he was on Wild and Out. He was on Wild and he looked very different then. So it was like it's he, you know, because it was on tv, so you can look it up. Then he. I saw him re. Enter the public consciousness via Tick Tock. He did a lot of crowd work, which is famously what a lot of comics post because they don't want to burn their material. So you just post your crowd work. But he sort of rode that wave of crowd work clips. People really liked him. Predominantly women. He had a very female audience and fan base. Then he put out his first Netflix special when he had all these female eyeballs on him and he felt the need to open it up with a very hacky, sexist joke, which women were like, what? And he like made this joke and then clearly wanted it to be taken the way that it was. He wanted it to offend people and let them know he's one of the boys. Then he did like a Jordan Peterson interview and you were just like, okay, so you're pivoting in a way I don't really follow. And. Sorry, I got. I lost the plot. He got facial surgery. Yeah, it's rumored. It's widely rumored. He looks so different now. He looks like a male model. He's got like male modeled jaw. And then somebody was like, you know, he was on Wild N Out. People looked it up and they were like, that's not what his chin looked like before. And then I believe there was a plastic surgeon who posted that he did Matt Rife's chin implant.

[C]

You said you didn't read this article, but you're reciting every detail of the article.

[B]

First hand knowledge. I remember this happening. A plastic surgeon posted that he gave Matt Rife his chin implant. Matt Rife was like, that's not true. And then the surgeon was like, now you can't take a joke? It was this whole big. I think it's weird when plastic surgeons post online about who their patients are. Anyway, that feels like a h thing.

[A]

Feels like it.

[C]

Which is what makes you feel like it's not true. Cuz I feel like you actually literally could not.

[B]

Right. So. And so anyway, that. That was the. There was a lot of talk about his face. And it has seemed like, as with a lot of people who open that door to plastic surgery, it seems like he's reached a point where it's like getting to be. He's letting too much of. You got to like close the door and step away for a little. You don't look like a. You're getting uncanny Valley.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Sorry, I blacked out. Was I talking?

[C]

I would say you went kind of insane for a minute there. You sort of did a thing where I think you were like, I don't know that much about this, and then proceeded to give us, I think from birth, every detail about that. Right.

[A]

You were speaking in tongues at one point.

[B]

Special wasn't good. Did I say that?

[A]

But this doctor had claimed something.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That he had created for a quote unquote, canceled celebrity, the greatest jawline ever seen. And this is a thing. The greatest jawline is an aspiration. Michael, how would you Describe what the aesthetic is.

[C]

I guess it would be like, look at me.

[B]

Right?

[C]

And then be like a sort of.

[B]

That I'd say like, look at. Find your face.

[C]

Yeah. Like find a picture of me on the Internet. Or like look at me right now. Pause. Michael Cruz, Kane, pause the video right now and just be like, okay. So it's kind of like that, like people would pay, I think a million or a billion dollars. They're saying for this, right?

[B]

To look just like you.

[C]

To look like me. They'll do the whole. They'll do the whole face.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

$12,000 for a high cheap. Well, draw a line. A real bargain.

[B]

I don't know, man. I just feel like if. If your face. The best version of your face to me is going to be the one that you got. Because it's like it all kind of works in. You don't realize that if you add to your jaw now your cheeks look small.

[A]

That's what the scrotum said. And look what happened.

[C]

But I do, I think that. I think the thing that you've alluded to that does happen frequently that we all know is you start with the one thing and then you find tune. You know what I gotta.

[B]

And then you fine tune too much. I do it with a lot of stuff in my life, which is why I have not yet and will eventually probably open this door and start to.

[A]

Work on this to get hyper masculine.

[B]

Job once I start. Like, I wanna. If I'm gonna buy furniture for my house, I wanna research all my options, narrow it down based off on what I'm looking for, find the best, best possible available couch for me.

[C]

But what ends up happening as you're saying is you buy, you've got your house that you live in and you put a fire couch in the living room and you're like, the. The rest of the living room looks like.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

So now we gotta redo everything.

[B]

And on a deeper, weird psychological level, if I look in the mirror right now, thanks to Leader Von Sleef or whatever, and I. And I.

[C]

And I absolutely correct.

[B]

And I don't like what I see. Not my fault. But if I start to play with it and I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see, that's my fault. I told them to give me this nose. I picked these brows. Right? Now, none of this is my fault. I'm doing the best I can with what I got.

[A]

So this is where I believe there's a through line that connects us through our topics today. Because.

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

Because the hyper masculine jawline I would use to point to in the barber shop of hair of. Of jawlines is Tom Brady.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I'm sorry. I voted you.

[C]

Thank you so much. I voted. Me too.

[B]

Right, you're out, Wade.

[A]

So actually, but we saw.

[B]

I mean, is that his.

[A]

I don't know if he had that. But in terms of just like somebody who is tweaking himself in ways that are conspicuous.

[C]

He's been tweaked for sure.

[A]

For sure.

[C]

He's been tweeting.

[A]

Now, did he get what Dr. Benjamin Coughlin, aforementioned, alleged. Maybe, maybe not. Matt Rice, plastic surgeon. Did he get the Benjamin Coughlin face bbl?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Which moves fat from one part of the face to the other. 41 of his clients these days, his patients are male.

[B]

Well, it's about time. I will say that part. It's about time you guys start worrying about what you look like.

[C]

Yeah, I like. I like how the direction we've gone in, which is like, there's sort of these various pressures on women. Instead of being like, we're gonna fix that, it's like, you know, what we'll do is we'll pressure for everybody. Everybody's problem.

[A]

Yeah. I'm gonna break my legs and have rods inserted into them to become taller.

[B]

Did you hear Chad Ochocinko tell Stephen A. Smith he got his penis done?

[D]

We were in action, and she said in my ear, go deeper. Stay with me now. And what hurt me is I was already all the way in, so I had ran out of pee pee. And that is what caused me to get into amateur porn so I could perfect my craft in the pelvic area so I would never have to hear that again. I'm here to share my stories and my shortcomings back then. I've had surgery since then.

[A]

Can I read you this headline from New York Magazine, June 3, 2016?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Chad Ochocinko says he's packing a three inch penis.

[C]

Oh, so that's from 2016, you said.

[A]

Yeah. I'm realizing that this is so he's.

[C]

Been talking about his penis size for.

[A]

A long time and somehow we have not heard it.

[B]

Yeah. Also, I don't think you're allowed to use. I think there's a threshold for use of packing. I don't think you're allowed to pack a penis smaller than 5, 6. I haven't checked in a while. There's definitely a threshold and three does not meet it.

[A]

What verb would you prefer he used?

[B]

He is in possession of sealed, carrying. He is. He's cherishing.

[A]

He is unburdened by. He is protecting 3 inch penis.

[B]

Chad Ochocinko is in possession of a.

[C]

3 inch penis and I think that's wonderful. I think it's great.

[B]

Well, not anymore. He doesn't have a strange penis.

[C]

Whatever size it is, I think it's great.

[A]

What did we find out today on Pablo Torre finds out a show about finding out about apparently 3 inch penises.

[B]

I think what we found out today was it's never anything.

[C]

I. I didn't know about all these fun games you could play about the Diablo 4 and the Poe 2 and how you could be a. Oh, maybe I said the thing about a forest sound like.

[A]

You sound like Bill Belichick trying to.

[C]

Trying to explain like RPG video games.

[B]

I found out Jordan is his. Is his momager. I did find that out. I didn't know that coming into today. Sorry. That's really important to me to like make sure I give him something and I never bring it prepared because I'm supposed to find it out.

[C]

You're doing great.

[B]

Sorry, I just. I think I found out that she's his momager.

[A]

I. I think that's true. I co signed that. I found out that.

[C]

Oh. Oh, say it. Yeah. Good. This is good.

[A]

When I look at my scrotum later.

[B]

Today, which everyone does at 7pm I.

[A]

Know who to thank for the mirror I'm standing in front of.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

This has been Pablo Torre finds out a Meadowlark Media for production and I'll talk to you next time.