Share & Tell with Katie Nolan and Dan Soder

Summary

Pablo Torre Finds Out

Episode: Share & Tell with Katie Nolan and Dan Soder

Date: September 7, 2023
Host: Pablo Torre
Guests: Katie Nolan & Dan Soder

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively, free-flowing "Share & Tell" session featuring engaged couple Katie Nolan (sports and comedy personality) and comedian Dan Soder. Live from the Metalark Studios in New York, the trio swap stories ranging from their relationship’s soft-launch at Dan Le Batard’s wedding to behind-the-scenes tales about the Miami Dolphins’ head coach, Mike McDaniel (Soder’s childhood friend), controversies in tennis, and the wild world of TikTok algorithms. The tone is informal, self-deprecating, and full of playful teasing.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Relationship Origins & Dan Le Batard’s Wedding (00:27–07:30)

• Katie & Dan’s First Podcast Together: They reveal this is their first time appearing jointly on a podcast.
• How They Met: After casual dating, Katie was plunged into Dan’s comedy world at the Comedy Cellar, feeling starstruck meeting comedian Dave Attell.
  • (01:54) Katie: "To you, it was regular, to me it was, 'Oh my god, Dave Attell!'"
• Dan’s HBO Special Taping as Second Date
• Their Big ‘Soft Launch’: The couple ‘came out’ as dating at Dan Le Batard’s star-studded Miami wedding—attendees included Pat Riley, Andre Dawson. The no-phones policy made them feel secure… until Marty Smith posted a video accidentally outing them.
  • (06:27) Katie (about the video): "People figured us out."

Notable Moment:
(06:41) Katie recounts fielding a phone call from Marty Smith apologizing for the inadvertent reveal.

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2. Share & Tell—Mike McDaniel Stories & Madden (10:33–26:08)

Dan Soder’s Share: Mike McDaniel in Madden

• Childhood Friendship: Dan grew up with Miami Dolphins head coach Mike McDaniel, spending weekends at his house in Colorado (Mike's stepdad worked for the Broncos, giving them NFL proximity).
• Early Football Nerdom: McDaniel was obsessed with the NFL, updating league standings on a magnet board, reading guides, and strategizing in Tecmo Super Bowl.
  • (21:22) Dan: "He was just so into it... when he started coaching, it was like, 'this is perfect.'"
• McDaniel as a Madden Avatar: Sharing the surreal feeling of seeing his childhood friend as a coach in Madden, especially after years of playing the game together.
  • (17:48) Dan: "There was a moment... that felt like a nap dream."
• The Vape Incident: Katie and Dan laugh about McDaniel going viral for (allegedly) vaping on the sideline—a family in-joke now.
  • (26:19) Katie: "I loved it because I was like, relatable... just let him hit the vape!"

On Their Own Friendship & Growth

• Both reflect on “making it”—Soder in comedy, McDaniel in football—coming from bullied, uncool kids.
  • (24:17) Dan: "Mike's like mid-bite of pizza and goes, ‘Do you remember when you and me got bullied in middle school?’ I was like, ‘yeah, yeah,’ ... Mike takes a bite, ‘look at us now.’ It rules."

Comedic Impressions & AFC East Jabs

• Dan does a Macho Man impression about the “AFC East returning to glory.”
  • (27:40) Dan (as Macho Man): “Yeah, the AFC east return, the glory... I ain’t talking about the Buffalo Bills. Ain’t talking about the New England Patriots.”

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3. Pablo’s Field Reporting: The Weed Smell at US Open’s Court 17 (28:25–36:45)

• The ‘Stinky’ Controversy: Pablo investigates widespread complaints from pro tennis players (like Nick Kyrgios) about the overwhelming smell of weed at Court 17.
  • (28:54) News clip: “Some of the top tennis players in the world are complaining about the smell of cannabis. Yeah, Court 17 definitely smelled like Snoop Dogg’s living room.”
• The Find Out: Through in-person sniff testing, Pablo learned the source is the neighboring public park, not the stands. US Open officials acknowledge but do little; it’s simply a part of NYC life.
  • (30:28) Pablo: “Nobody was actually smoking anything inside Court 17... but that park is just full of people smoking weed.”
• Dan’s Observations About Weed & Sports:
  • (33:29) Dan: “If you are listening to this and you run a marijuana company and you don’t come up with a strain called Court 17... you’re leaving money on the table.”
  • Dan predicts some athletes might see performance benefits as weed laws relax (35:42).

Soder’s Anosmia (Loss of Smell)

• Dan reveals he can’t smell anything, having lost his sense via early cigarette smoking.
  • (31:27) Dan: “I started smoking cigarettes when I was young, and I exclusively exhaled through my nose, and it ruined my sense of smell.”

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4. Katie’s Picks: Social Media, Algorithms & Internet Weirdness (37:09–45:27)

Trending Internet Oddities

• Soccer Federation Scandal: Katie refrains from going deep but mentions the story of Luis Rubiales’ inappropriate kiss at the Women’s World Cup and the bizarre defense from his mother.
  • (37:38) Katie: “His mom went into a hunger strike in a church in Spain for her creepy son…”
• TikTok Algorithm Deep Dives:
  • The trio swaps favorites, such as viral sensation “Pinky Doll” (“Ice cream so good, gang gang!”) and the confident nerd with outlandish #drip declarations.
    • (41:47) Dan (describing the TikTok kid): “He looks like the biggest nerd you’ve ever seen in your life… and he’s got the most swag I’ve ever seen.”
  • Discussing social media’s echo chamber effect and how Twitter has become saturated with recycled hot takes for profit.

Quitting Drinking

• Soder, ten years sober, discusses how he’s happy not to drink, though is tempted by entertaining TikTok personalities.
  • (44:56) Pablo: “Ten years, though, is a milestone…”
  • (45:09) Dan: “Quitting alcohol was necessary... my life is a thousand times better.”

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5. What Did We Find Out Today? (45:35–49:49)

Each participant shares their light-hearted ‘findings’ from the show:

• Dan: Inspired to smoke weed outside Court 17 and riffed on the “tennis whites” who attend the US Open.
  • (45:49) Dan: “I immediately want to go out to Forest Hills and smoke weed by court 17.”
• Katie: Realizes how much she misses conversation and wants to do more podcasting.
  • (47:38) Katie: “I learned that I love you guys... I should start doing this again.”
• Pablo: Welcomes the couple back for future episodes and riffs on their “boxcar children” camaraderie.
• Comedic banter wraps up the session with cargo pants, calves, and the mythos of “boxcar children” (48:26–49:41).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• About Being 'Outed' at a Wedding:

  • (06:27) Katie: “Marty Smith posted a video of the wedding, and it's me and you standing next to people. People figured us out.”

• On Mike McDaniel’s Madden Likeness:

  • (15:43) Katie: “He's fashionable... all his clothes are perfectly tailored, even when he's got sweatpants on.”

• On Childhood Friendship & Success:

  • (24:17) Dan (quoting McDaniel): “‘Do you remember when you and me got bullied in middle school?’ ... Mike takes a bite, ‘look at us now.’ It rules.”

• On Tennis & Weed:

  • (28:54) Tennis star: “Court 17 definitely smelled like Snoop Dogg's living room.”

• On Social Media Virality:

  • (41:47) Dan: “I've never seen a nerd with this much confidence and swag.”

• On What They Learned:

  • (45:49) Dan: “I immediately want to go out to Forest Hills and smoke weed by court 17.”
  • (47:38) Katie: “I learned that I love you guys... I should start doing this again.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:27–07:30] – Relationship origins, Le Batard’s wedding, accidental 'hard launch'
• [10:33–26:08] – Dan Soder’s Mike McDaniel stories, Madden, childhood friendship
• [28:25–36:45] – Pablo’s US Open weed investigation, NYC tennis culture
• [37:09–45:27] – Katie’s online obsessions, TikTok algorithm, internet culture, sobriety
• [45:35–49:49] – Reflections: "What did you find out today?"

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Overall Tone

Conversational, inside-jokey, grounded by real friendship and life stories—this episode is both hilarious and heartwarming, blending sports fandom, pop culture, nostalgia, and irreverent humor. An ideal listen for fans of sports-adjacent storytelling, comedy, and internet weirdness.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds out. I am Pablo Torre. And today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

[B]

Hear the AFC east return to glory.

[A]

Right after this ad.

[C]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings.

[A]

How often do you guys do this, meaning, appear together? Never on a.

[C]

Never.

[B]

Never. This is the first appearance we've had together on anything.

[A]

Okay, so those are the overlapping voices of our friends Katie Nolan and her betrothed, television's own Dan Soder, who you might recall from his various comedy specials or his role on Billions, or. Or from one very specific semi viral video, which we will get to in a second here. I always loved working with Katie at espn, and so I guilted both of them into coming over to the Metalark studios in New York. So in terms of where you are right now, thank you for being here.

[C]

Both of you specifically.

[A]

Yeah, both of you specifically and jointly for doing this.

[C]

Yeah, thanks for having us, Pablo. It's an honor and a privilege.

[A]

It's, for me, a favor I don't think I can repay because me and my wife are never going to appear on a podcast together.

[C]

Any contest, till we launch our podcast.

[B]

Yeah, what's the.

[A]

I can't.

[C]

No, we were just joking, but I would have you two as our first guest. And you would have to, because we did this.

[A]

Well, we met you guys at Dan LeBatard's wedding.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

In Miami.

[C]

It's like our third date.

[B]

That really was. Our first three dates were pretty cool.

[C]

Your HBO special.

[B]

The first one was just regular date with dinner, and then you. And then we hung out.

[C]

No, then we went to the Cellar. It was regular to you, and I was just standing there surrounded by famous people, comedians that I loved.

[B]

We came around the corner and Dave Attel was standing there, and I was like, what's up, Dave?

[C]

He goes, katie, meet Dave. And I turned around on the stairs and I was like, oh, Dave Attell. Hi. And then I, like, elbowed you, and I was like, don't ever do that.

[A]

So was this a power move, though, by your fiance, your future fiance, at that point, to be like, hey, come see me in my element as I hobnob with first names that, you know, the last names?

[B]

No, it was the only date that she and I were both available to go get dinner, and I had a spot at the Cellar.

[C]

But you'd like to think, right, that it was a flex.

[B]

The second date was absolutely a come to my HBO special taping. Yeah, I knew what that was. That was definitely like, come and see.

[C]

The finished act and thank God it was good. Cuz I sat there like, what if I'm. What if I hate it?

[B]

She had never seen. She'd only seen me do limited standup, so I was nervous as hell.

[C]

Yeah. But it was great. Everybody should go watch it. Son of a. Gary. Streaming on what used to be hbo. God knows where it is.

[B]

Max. It's on Max.

[C]

Now I'm a maxa.

[B]

But then we met you at Dan Leitard's wedding, which for me was like her moment at the cellar. Times 20 while I'm waiting for a ginger ale, standing next to Pat Riley.

[A]

Please explain for people who were not like all of us at Dan LeBatard's wedding, what it was like to walk in as. As a. As a relative outsider.

[B]

Dan, A big outsider. Also on, like, new relationship behavior.

[A]

This is like when you walked in, by the way, because I'd seen you on Billions. I knew that. I obviously knew you're a comic. All that stuff. I was like, wow, this is. I didn't. I. I of course put it together that Katie brought you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it sort of made sense that you'd be a face just like wandering around next to Andre Dawson.

[B]

I mean, that was wild. There were a couple of head turners for me, like, seeing Pat Riley. There was a rumor that Charles Barkley was going to be there.

[C]

I think that's how I sold him on going.

[B]

And I was like, very hyped to meet Chuck.

[A]

I was bummed he wasn't there.

[C]

Yeah, me too.

[B]

I was like, man, if this happens, this is going to be a coolest wedding. But it was still a cool wedding.

[C]

Thanks for inviting us.

[B]

It was unbelievable.

[A]

It was.

[B]

It was unbelievable because also, I was so new to. To, you know, we were. We were brand new dating and we actually, it was a couple months at that point, but it was weird to be in a room with people that I've yelled at the TV in a disagreement with. Been like, you had a bad take about the Niners last year. I didn't like your take on the Nuggets. It was, like, weird. But then it was so cool to see Dan and meet you and meet people that I genuinely have just had on my tv. That was unbelievable for me. And then the funniest part was Dan and his wife were very adamant. Like, no cell phones. Do not take any cell phone pictures. Do not do anything. They. They said it a couple times.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It was like Dave Chappelle Show, Pouch style.

[C]

Right. So we knew we were safe because we hadn't told anybody we were dating. We weren't ready for, like, a soft launch. We were just like, you know, we'd.

[B]

Been friends since 2014, right.

[C]

The Internet has thought we've been dating.

[B]

The whole time, but we were like, friends. And then it crossed that boundary. And so we were still new to being like, how do we tell people?

[C]

Right? How do we do cell phones thing? We're like, good. So, no, there's not gonna be any pictures, so we won't even have to worry about it.

[B]

So.

[C]

Enter.

[B]

Dude. What's crazy is where you think of how everything has landed now because we're at the. After the reception. We're at the reception and we're eating and Marty Smith comes in hot. Off to being injured at Alabama. It's okay to wonder should. To have been in the game.

[C]

Oh, yeah. That's why he was late, right?

[B]

Yeah. Because he was like, you can't believe this. To.

[A]

That's not what Marty Smith sounds like.

[B]

Like, he's like, man two is injured. It's bad. It's. I don't know if that guy's ever going to play in the NFL. He is. And he's going to win a Super bowl this year, if the 49ers know.

[A]

If we'll get to that.

[B]

But it was funny because he didn't get briefed on the cell phone thing.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

No.

[A]

I now remember exactly what happened.

[B]

And the whole wedding party's entering and Marty's filming it, and he's like, man, you know, obviously out of the pureness and goodness of his own heart, he's like, yeah, he's like, what a beautiful cerem pans the whole.

[A]

With. With the enthusiasm of a man who had just sky dove into the stadium.

[B]

Like, yeah, yeah, dude. He came in and he was like, what a wedding. And he films. We didn't think much of it. And then we fly back to New York the next day, and Katie looks at Twitter and she's like, oh, no. I go, what? She goes, marty Smith posted a video of the wedding, and it's me and you standing next to people. People figured us out.

[C]

We were sitting. It was like we had our backs turned, so we were looking at the ceremony, like, what was happening. But, like, I turned at one point and, like, grabbed my drink and turned back. And you see there, just the two of us. And I think I, like, put my hand.

[A]

Yeah, we were doing, like, little Yukino escalated.

[C]

And so then as soon as we saw that it was on Twitter, then my phone rings and it's Marty Smith.

[B]

And I was like, what? You're in a garage at LaGuardia waiting.

[C]

For, like, a car or whatever? And he. And I answer. He's like, katie, I'm so sorry. I think I did something I wasn't supposed to.

[B]

We were like, well, Marty, you got the scoop.

[A]

I have to.

[C]

I have to apologize.

[B]

It was funny taking the video down, but people haven't.

[A]

But it has been monetized out.

[B]

And we were like, all right. What a cool way to get your relationship broken open by Marty Smith.

[A]

So I want to explain a little bit of what the format of this ostensibly is.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What's the show called?

[A]

Poplar Torre finds out.

[C]

Ptfo.

[A]

Ptfo.

[C]

What's with the legs?

[A]

Those are a. It's a montage of calf muscles culminating in the most Filipino calf, which is the most muscular, of course.

[B]

Damn. That is.

[C]

So that's what your calf is.

[B]

I'm all the way to the left.

[C]

Yeah, no, you're not. You're the first green one. You're the third one.

[A]

The left is the skinniest. It's the most vertical. Yeah.

[B]

You're so sweet, but I don't.

[C]

You've got calves.

[B]

No, I have healed in a tent legs. The power of God is healed in legs.

[C]

You've been using those hyper ice in massage your calves.

[A]

You spoke tongues when the doctor laid hands on you.

[B]

I got up and I was healed. And then now I'm slowly walking with my stick legs. Do you have all the way to the right, Paula?

[A]

I do. I mean, it's wild. I do fat calves.

[C]

Dude, have I never seen your calves?

[A]

I have to, like, pull them up.

[B]

The pants, bust them out. Oh, my God. Damn.

[C]

You got those ones that look like there's something. Oh, my God.

[B]

You got a cow heart. Dude.

[C]

What the f. That looks like an implant.

[B]

Those are calf heart calves.

[C]

Do remember that?

[B]

Look at that. That's pure meat. That is pure meat.

[C]

Do you remember that? True life. True life. I have no calves.

[A]

I have calf implants. Yeah.

[B]

If you didn't think that all of my friends in high school were like, hey, Soda, they're doing surgery for you.

[C]

No, this was like a point of dude, when I played football sensitivity for you.

[B]

And I was not good. When I played football. I was big up top. And then everyone was like, look at his stick legs. It was just like. It was just like, I do stick legs.

[A]

Yeah. Let's show em.

[C]

Oh, mine aren't shaved. Otherwise I'd also participate.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[C]

They're only shaved up to, like, here. I don't think they're that bad. They're also not in the camera, but I don't think they're that bad.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta go up with it hands.

[B]

I'm 40.

[C]

That is, folks.

[A]

You got it, dude.

[B]

My hip flexor is gonna be raging all week.

[C]

Mick Purse told me I have nice calves and so we'll just take it at that. And you don't have to see them.

[B]

Yeah, show your feet. There's all these guys at home going, that's right.

[A]

Wiki calves profiles.

[C]

You can make that a thing, papa.

[B]

All these dudes heard that and they're like, you better stop them at work right now. Showing your little toesies.

[C]

You were saying ostensibly the format of your show. You wanted to explain it and we were ready.

[A]

Oh, right, right, right. So this is a show. It's a show that I call share and tell. It's like a show and tell thing typically we do with Dan Lebatard, but Dan Lebatard, founder of the company, man. Whose wedding we just violated the privacy of Again.

[C]

Yes, again. Over and over.

[A]

Yeah, he was the guest on our first episode. So we're gonna do something different with. I guess there's always a Dan. So thank you for being here.

[C]

Oh, that's simple.

[B]

I'll be the Dan representative.

[A]

Yep, yep. And Katie, I'll be the mina.

[B]

So what we do, we're like stunt Dan and stunt.

[C]

Yeah, we're like stand ins that are like the ones who are here. You guys can get up, we jump.

[B]

Through the glass and then they show up and they go like, ok, thanks, guys.

[A]

Union jobs, though.

[C]

Yeah, great.

[A]

Union benefits.

[B]

Solid stand with the union.

[A]

That said, what I need you guys to do is tell me about the things that you've brought me today. And I want to start. Because we bring in the things that we're obsessed with in a given week. And I want to start with Dan. Yeah, the Cavs would have sufficed.

[B]

I would have talked about Mike Alst's cabs for 40 minutes, man. If we would have had.

[A]

If his calves are anything like his neck.

[B]

Oh, my God. That man was the coolest. Coolest. Growing up, watching Mike Allstot as a white guy, you were like, that would be. That's a football player. I'd want to be. He's got a neck roll, huge calves. Guy didn't get taken down when they tried to tackle him. Man. Mike Allstot, you rule.

[A]

Does this happen? Does this happen with just like. Just reminiscences? Yeah, upon, like.

[B]

Well, that's what that's what I brought you because I feel I was telling Katie this. I feel like I. Whenever I talk about sports, I bring up my childhood friend Mike McDaniel, the head coach of the Miami Dolphins, which I've, you know, I bring up anytime bring someone brings up sports, so so.

[C]

Would I. Yeah, that's what I always talking about it too much. It's talk about it as well.

[B]

Feel like I talk.

[C]

Well, it was cool because before he became the head coach, obviously he was the coordinator, run game coordinator, then offensive coordinator of Dan's team. And Dan grew up in Colorado, so that's where they know each other from. So the fact that he ended up on the 49ers coaching staff was wild. And then to see him get the head coaching job in my vision, two.

[B]

Stories from that that are my favorite McDaniel stories was Mike's mom, Donna was great to me.

[C]

Shout out Donna.

[B]

Shout out Donna. And shout out Gary McCune, his ex stepdad. Because they would let me stay there. I didn't like my mom's boyfriend. I didn't like going home. So every weekend in seventh and eighth grade, I spent the night at McDaniel's house. I bring a bag with me, put it in my locker, slept there Friday night, slept there Saturday night. After all the football games on Sunday, my mom would pick me up and take me home. Donna Gary McCune, Mike's ex stepdad, worked for the Denver Broncos. So that's how Mike was able to be a ball boy in 97 and 98. And Gary was like the first dude I met, like, that was a dad. That was cool that you're like, I'm gonna go in the garage and hang out with Gary. Like, Gary rules and big Broncos house. Mike was a huge Broncos fan, and that's why week three, Broncos at Miami. We're going down. Oh, this season I'm not missing that. I'm not watching Mike coaches ex, like his favorite team. Growing right? It's going to be awesome. So all I would always wear 49er stuff because I was my. My family's from the Bay. I lived in Denver, but I was a huge Niners fan. I would always go into Mike's house and Donna would always say the same thing. She'd always go, you're wearing the wrong colors. Like, just as like a little ball busty. But she'd always say that. She'd be like, you're wearing the wrong colors. And I was like, joe Montana's better than John Elway. That's always what I came Back. So, Mike, you know, coaches in the NFL starts in 05 in Denver, goes to Houston, goes coach Dennis Green in an upstart league, then comes back to the league for Washington, Cleveland, Atlanta, gets hired by the 49ers when Kyle. Yeah, when Kyle takes over the head coaching job. First game I go to is Seahawks at Niners after Thanksgiving of that first season. And Mike's wife is like, hey, I'm going to leave you passes. Come say hi to him on the sideline. Great. I drive down from my grandmother's house, I go to the Levi's, I go to the sidelines, I get on the sideline, and there's Donna, Mike's mom, standing there. And the first thing she says to me is when she sees me. And she goes, I'm finally wearing the right colors. And I was like, best callback I've heard. Because I. I haven't heard that since probably eighth grade, right? And I was like, that's amazing. You know, I hugged her. I was like, this is amazing. So to watch him go to the Super bowl in 2019, all that. So then 49ers lose to the Rams NFC championship game, 2022 season or 2021 season, I'm like, I think McDaniel's going to leave. I think it's about time. He's like, probably going to. And Katie, I swear to God, I remember where she was standing. Katie's in the kitchen of our old place in Jersey. And she's just in the kitchen doing something. And she goes, yeah, that's cool. Just nothing in the AFC East. And I go, right. And then two weeks later, I'm like, he's the Dolphins head coach. I was like, he took the Dolphins job. And she has been great about it. She softened up. Because at first the rule was no Dolphins. No Dolphins merch. It was the first rule. And then I bought a Finkel versus Einhorn.

[C]

About seven. Dolphins merch. Yeah, it's whatever. It is what it is.

[B]

But I don't wear it too in your face.

[C]

No, sure.

[B]

But fins up. So McDaniel being an NFL head coach is crazy, but the thing I brought you today on the podcast is something I don't get to talk about ever, which is the guy you used to play Madden with is now in Madden.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they made him. The first season was last year, his first season with the Dolphins, obviously. And they made him look. They made him. Stonery gave him a hat. Didn't really look like McDaniel. Honestly. It looked like not at all what it did Is it looked like his end of his. At the end of his time in San Francisco, he has like.

[A]

There's like an eyeshadow.

[C]

Yeah. It looks like he's in an emo band.

[B]

They didn't do him justice last season.

[C]

And he's a guy that, like, he's fashionable. I feel like I can say this. He's. He looks good.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

All the time. All of his clothes are, like, perfectly tailored. Even when he's got sweatpants on. You're like, damn, you look really nice.

[B]

Watches.

[A]

Everyone's like, this nerd. And I'm like, that is a very well and expensively dressed.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

NFL head coach. Especially compared to his peers.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

He's.

[B]

He has always been very fashionable. He's always been like he knew what to wear, how to wear.

[A]

But give us. Give us the. So before we get into the before and after of Madden.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you guys are growing up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Give me the visuals on what you and Mike McDaniel, best friends, seventh and eighth grade, are looking like. If we encountered you in, like, the.

[B]

Hallway, we both had the long hair.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Down to here.

[A]

Down to like, your cheekbones.

[B]

Yeah. Down right above rifle. Right below.

[A]

Parted.

[C]

Down the middle.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Hot.

[B]

Down the middle. Combed.

[C]

Was it greasy like you put stuff in it or. It was just.

[B]

I didn't. My hair fell perfectly like Jonathan Taylor Thomas for like two years. And then everything got messed up. But mad.

[A]

And yes. So.

[B]

So we have the. This year.

[A]

This is this year's the second image that I have.

[B]

They made him look like it's better.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With the short sleeve. You're kind of like, I don't really know if you do that. He's too fashionable. But then I sent one with him in a long sleeve. The other picture I sent in that email and that. That looks like him.

[C]

Well, this would fit better. The bottom of this would fit better if it were McDaniel. Like, it's a little bit loose.

[B]

Oh, you're saying his tan. His pants would be tailored.

[C]

No, his. The bottom of his shirt.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

The way it's kind of a little. The way your shirts are from, like, tugging them too much.

[B]

Yeah, I do. That's the one fashion note I always get from Katie's. I'm like, stop pulling on your shirt. And I try to tell her I'm hiding my weed gut. So please let me.

[A]

This photo feels, I imagine, lucid, dreamy to you.

[B]

The most lucid dream feeling I had was we went to Katie and I and my Friend Zach went to the Dolphins at jets at MetLife. And there was a moment that I told Katie where I was like, this feels like a nap dream. Where I was like, if you told me if I woke up and I was like, yeah, Zach and me and my future wife were there, like, watching McDaniel coach the dolphins against the jets. Because it wouldn't make any sense. Because if you would have gone back then and be like, he's going to coach the Dolphins, you're like, why? Why that team? How that team. But that's how life works.

[A]

The mad lib aspect of a gap.

[B]

That's exactly it. That's exactly it. Where you wake up, you're like, yeah, McDonald's coaching the dolphins. So it felt. That was the. That was the one time where it really was like. And when we were at the Super Bowl.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

With the Niners. Because that felt like.

[C]

And then we went to that sad party after they lost because, you know, they rent out the.

[A]

Right. No, they're prepared in the eventuality.

[B]

Well, they had. Yeah, they, they.

[C]

So you go and you eat the shrimp tower.

[B]

And we were just sitting there eating tacos.

[A]

Just Hillary Clinton 2016 vibes.

[B]

Yes, 100%. And we're sitting there eating tacos with a very bummed out rob. Robert sala and Mike McDaniel. That's who we were eating with. And they were like.

[C]

And the dj. Remember the dj?

[B]

And he's like, come on, man, y' all a great season.

[C]

You're gonna get him next year.

[B]

And everyone's like, dude, the funniest part was watching because it. It was the same with every little micro group, was the same as the made up the whole party where every family member was seeing their, like seeing the player for the first time. So these little pockins of condolences going on where everyone's going like, hey, y', all, y' all did real great this season. And then just in the background, it's the Jabberwockies just like dancing, just dancing. And they're like, hey, man, I know this was your career goal, but.

[C]

And then was it Lil Wayne who was like two hours late?

[B]

It was. He was three hours late. We were already gone.

[C]

We were like, we're gonna go.

[B]

It was such a bummer.

[A]

I don't think there's a sadder mental image than a sad Japawaggies.

[C]

It's so. I'm like, I can't. I actually gained a lot of respect for him that day.

[B]

Did they still dance?

[C]

Dance at a funeral? Like that. It's wild.

[B]

It was wild. But.

[A]

But McDaniel in Madden.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you played him in football, video.

[B]

Games, it was impossible.

[A]

Both of you guys love video games. You were playing Mike McDaniel in. In what? And how was that?

[B]

We. We played Madden, but the game we really played a lot was Mike's stepdad hooked up a projector in their unfinished basement. And so we would play Tecmo super bowl on snes, on Super Nintendo. And we would do. We would do 49. I would always be the 49ers and he would be the Falcons. And he would. This is such a memory for me because I got so angry. He would always switch to Deion Sanders and drop Deion all the way back. So no matter what play I picked, when I threw it, he would break on it. With Dion, he would pick it almost every time. And as he was running it back, he would look at me and go, prime time. And it's like after the first two, you're like, okay, you know, like that kid frustration where you're like, you gotta stop. You're cheating. Why don't you try to not be Dion? And he's like, why would I be anything but Dion? And then he dropped back and then pick it again and go, pratt. I used to get so mad at him in that basement. Cause I'm like, you're just cheating. And he's like, I'm not cheating. He's available on the game. I'm picking him.

[A]

So the idea that you had a sense that this guy was actually a.

[B]

Football genius, he just was so obsessed with it. I don't. I. I never thought he was a genius. I was just like, oh, man, he loves football. The way that I loved comedy, where it was. And it was like a thing where we both would talk about it because he wanted to play at the time. He wanted to play in the NFL. He wanted to be a part of the NFL. And I was like, I just wanted to be funny and not get in trouble at school for being funny. And it was crazy because he would read every media guide. He knew everybody. He had a little magnet thing on his wall with the standings, because it's before smartphones or whatever. So he would update the. He would like. I remember when the Texans became. He explained to me how the league was going to shift, and I was like, dude, you know so much about.

[A]

The NFL breaking down the expansion draft.

[B]

Yeah. He was just like. He was just so into it that he. It was like, oh, man. When he started coaching it, it was like, oh, this is perfect. Like when we were 22, my friend Chad and I, who. That's my buddy Chad Harder. We always go to the games, you know, with. With Katie and Chad's wife. We went to the Dolphins game last year. We're go this year. But he started coaching for the. When he got hired by the Texans, Chad and I were living together and we were like, it was the year of the Reggie Bush, Matt Leiner, Vince Young draft.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that Houston had the number one pick.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And we were like, who are you going to take, Reggie Bush or Vince Young? And he called us and I remember we were living in Tucson and Chad's truck, and it was a flip phone.

[C]

And he were living in Chad's truck.

[B]

We were living in Tucson and you.

[C]

Were in Chad's truck. Okay. I just wanted to make sure. No, it's like, I don't remember this chapter of your life, but I remember.

[B]

Being like, who are you guys going to take? And he's like a defensive end from South Carolina. I think it was South Carolina, North Carolina, North Carolina State. And we were like, what? And he was like, kubiak thinks it's the best when you're going against Manning twice a year to draft a guy that's gonna. Well, who was it?

[A]

Mario Williams.

[B]

Mario Williams. And Chad and I had never heard of him. And we were like, mario Williams, what? And Mike's like, I don't know. He's like, I get to coach Ron Dane now. And we were like, that's awesome. He was like telling us who he's hanging out with. But you just saw like, you know, it's like anything when you see a friend find their thing, you're like, oh, this makes all the sense in the world. This is what you're supposed to be doing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's just been cool to see him have success.

[C]

And like, I think it's cool that you said that you. He was like with football the way you were with comedy. And now look at both of you.

[B]

Yeah, we always talk about that. My favorite moment of this was Mike's first season. They were living in San Jose in an apartment. And after the game we went and got pizza and we were sitting around a table eating pizza with like me, him and his wife and his in laws. And Mike's like mid bite of pizza and he goes, do you remember when you and me got bullied in middle school? And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. And Mike takes a bite, he's like, look at us now. It rules.

[A]

What was Being bullied in middle school, like for you two specifically, we were.

[B]

The two, we were the two kids that didn't want to do the bad stuff with the bad kids. And we hung out with the bad kids. So you can imagine the names we got called.

[C]

You were like bullied by your own friends.

[B]

That's what it was.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then one time I got fight with one of them. It's one of my only fights I've ever got into. And I was on top of the kid and another one of our friends came and punched me in the side of the head. And McDaniel was there and then everything cop showed up. So we, everything got broken up and I was like mad at Mike and I was like, dude, why didn't you jump in? I got punched in the head. He goes, because it's me and you versus all of them. He's like, I jump in and they would have just jumped us. And I was like, damn, you're smart. I remember exactly where we were. I was like, that's a really good point. You should probably. And then you go into Yale and.

[C]

You'Re like, that makes sense.

[B]

That Yale brain, that makes sense.

[A]

But the idea that you two would talk about this all the time, you sort of snuck that in. You would be a comedian, he would be a football coach.

[B]

Yeah, we just kind of would like, we just kind of like long plan it. We just kind of like how explicitly? Not like, not anything too.

[C]

One day in the 2020s, you'll be a head coach, I'll be a stand up coach.

[B]

It was just like, oh man, if we could both do any sort of like job in those worlds, we would both be like super pumped. That's exactly what it was like. It was like, oh man, can you imagine if you were like working in the NFL doing something and I was like working in comedy doing something and you'd be like, oh, that'd be so cool because you're also like going from middle school to high school. So it's terrifying. And man, and I was so bad at football and he was good at football, but he was undersized.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so there was this kind of this feeling of like we weren't cool and we were friends and high school was terrifying. So it was, it was very interesting to be, you know, to see where we both landed. Now.

[A]

Well, the question I have, the last question I have about this Madden photo is that the thing that is most conspicuously absent is anything resembling a vape cartridge.

[C]

Oh, well, first off, that one game.

[B]

He had One game forever, and he was stressed out. It was.

[C]

I loved it because I was like, relatable. You are coaching this game that, like, there's a lot riding on this. It's stressful among us. Like, just let him hit the vape.

[B]

Where did it happen? I was at the game. Me and Chad and I and Katie, Mike's. W. We're all sitting together, and the tweet goes out with him hitting the vape. And I just. With my phone, I just show it to Katie, his wife, and she goes. She's just like. There wasn't even, like, no, he didn't. She just goes, God damn it.

[C]

She's like, it's fine.

[B]

It's fine. And then he's like, I don't know. I didn't do anything. And then afterwards, I didn't see him because I had to. I had to leave before I could see him. But I was like, dude, the vape thing. He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. I was like, dude, I'm not going to tell you.

[C]

So funny.

[A]

And I just love now that Dan. Katie, you're marrying, like, Mike McDaniel's cable news surrogate now.

[B]

Oh, yeah. The spokesman, which I don't think I should be.

[C]

I think you do disagree.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like you're being honest and you're not. You know, you're. I think you do a good job. You're a good representative.

[B]

It's just like, if you have an important position in sports, you don't want the person that's representing you to be a clown.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't want. You don't want the guy with, like, the best Randy Savage impression.

[B]

Undisputed. Yeah, I'm gonna cut. Yeah, I'll have. I'm gonna come in and talk to the Dolphins as Macho Man.

[A]

What would that sound like?

[B]

Be like, yeah, the AFC east return, the glory. Yeah. I ain't talking about the Buffalo Bills. Ain't talking about the New England Patriots. I love you very much, Miss Elizabeth. My Miss Elizabeth loves the new Wings. Glen. Patriots. Yeah. They've been a dynasty. Time for someone else. That's what I keep saying to Katie. I go, you guys had 20 years.

[C]

You guys had your chance.

[B]

You guys had 20 years.

[A]

So I want to pivot to my topic.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

[A]

Yeah. With the format, I. I could honestly just shed the format entirely.

[B]

But.

[A]

But I did some journalism for you guys.

[C]

Okay, let's hear it.

[A]

I investigated a tennis story. Not about, like, Novak, Djokovic or Carlos Alcaraz or any of these players. I investigated a specific court at the US Open and I brought you a little field piece. Okay, guys, I'm really trying a video. Like, can we play the video?

[B]

Let's go to the video.

[C]

Let's check the tape. Bit of a stinky situation at the US Open. It is not because of the action.

[A]

On the courts though.

[B]

Some of the top tennis players in the world are complaining about the smell of cannabis. Yeah, Court 17 definitely smelled like Snoop Dogg's living room.

[C]

I smelled it actually today also. Yeah, when me 17. Yeah, when we warmed up, I smelled it also.

[A]

Court 17 is a modern court built in, I believe 2011. That's right there. Right there.

[B]

It's everywhere. Literally everywhere. The whole court smells like weed. Was there a smell out there that was bothering.

[A]

Head scored 17.

[B]

Is that the first time you ever noticed that smell before? Nick Kyrgio's complained last year about how much it was bothering him. The weed marijuana.

[A]

And so I did what any self respecting New Yorker who also hosts a show called Pablo Torre finds out would do. I went to go smell cord 17 from myself.

[B]

Working today.

[A]

Not. Well, technically this is work. Yeah, true. I don't know that, man. Have you guys been smelling it? Yeah.

[B]

No.

[A]

But what became clear is that nobody was actually smoking anything inside court 17, which brought me back to exactly where I started. This is the park escort 17.

[B]

That's so funny.

[C]

Did you find the guy responsible?

[A]

I did. And he was looking back at me in the mirror.

[B]

They. Is it just people out in the park just smoking weed?

[A]

Yes. So nobody, they refused. I spoke to the man in charge of Court 17 who refuses to give his name.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

For a long time. And he was like, we checked security footage, we have people posted up. It's not allowed in this court, but that park is just full of people smoking weed. And it's like a beautiful, you know, summer evening. The wind blows it in and he's like, what do you want me to do?

[C]

Yeah, who cares?

[B]

Tennis players are so particular about everything. Like even from the way, you know, we watch them, like bounce the balls or the way they hold stuff and they're like. It's funny that they seem like dorks being like, guys, stop smoking weed. It's like you're outside in New York City, dude.

[C]

I've seen a lot of people since it became legal, like on the New York City subreddit will be like, okay, I get that it's legal now, but do I have to smell it everywhere I go? I'M like, it's just a smell. No offense. We should be sensitive because we should also come.

[B]

We should let me come out and say, I can't smell.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That's.

[C]

Speak your truth.

[B]

I can't smell. I don't have a sense of smell.

[C]

It smells nothing. It's okay.

[A]

What is this?

[C]

Thank you for being so strong right now.

[B]

I started smoking cigarettes when I was young, and I exclusively exhaled through my nose, and it ruined my senses.

[C]

No sense a smell. So any milk in our apartment? He's like, you got to smell this. Is this good every time.

[A]

So Katie needs to protect you.

[B]

Yeah. I can die.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But smoking weed. I also smoke a lot of weed, and I've never known when I've smelt like weed.

[C]

That's what's crazy is, like, he'll be on the road, and I'll. If there's, like, been a time, I feel like I came to your hotel after you were already there, and I walked in, and I'm like, dude, this. It smells like weed in here.

[B]

I was like, I smoked in the shower. It's fine.

[C]

No, it's not. So then I got you. That's. Spray that.

[B]

Yeah, the ozium.

[A]

What's the wait, where there's a spray?

[C]

Oum. Spray that. Like, will. I was like, just spray this, and then it. You don't have to worry. It'll definitely take care of the weed smell. Even if it doesn't smell, just spray it. You don't know.

[B]

Om's great, dude. Oh, a lot of potheads. There's also for.

[A]

I. I was going with, like, paper towel roll full of.

[B]

Oh, bounty sheets.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I knew about bounty sheets when I was 15, when I'd get high in high school and come back to school and just. Just wipe a bounty sheet on you. You smelled like laundry. But my eyes. I was like, allergies and fresh laundry, man.

[C]

It just makes me think of when I used to smoke cigarettes, and then I would think I didn't smell like them anymore. And then once you quit and you're like, you smelled like them all the time.

[A]

Yeah, that was my main thought as I was talking to the guy in charge of court 17.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Was just like, oh, he knows.

[C]

He knows it's me.

[A]

This guy is way too into this topic.

[B]

Yeah, well, because it's probably that thing where, like, when you work someplace, it's always brought up, and you're like, I know.

[A]

So he was so. It was hilarious because he was in charge of Court 17, and, like, his account was the one everyone was talking about. He was like, come on, now.

[C]

The boss.

[B]

Yeah. Because they're like, you're letting people smoke weed. If you are listening to this and you run a marijuana company and you don't come up with a strain called Court 17, oh, my God, you're an.

[C]

You're leaving money on the table.

[B]

100. Call it the U.S. open.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Call it the Djokovic. You got all these different strains. And then court 17 as just a loud pack, dude.

[A]

The loudest.

[B]

The loudest pack better be court 17. When you smoke that and you're like, I can only have a little bit of that.

[A]

I want. I want highly paid European tourists to complain about this.

[B]

Yeah. What? They're like, what is this? What is this smell? And you're like, that's that court 17.

[C]

I want to know how all these tennis players know what weed smells like.

[B]

Can they not smoke weed?

[C]

I don't.

[A]

So I don't think so.

[C]

I don't think so.

[A]

But it also. To your point, so tennis is so ocd. And in general, like, the tennis Grand Slam events are like Wimbledon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The French Open, they have, like, kings and queens. They have, like, manicured grass that's been watered for thousands of years, and then they show up in Queens, and right next door is a park full of people from Queens. We're just like blowing clouds.

[B]

Oh, yes. You too. It really is coming to America, dude. I love it. I. I absolutely love the thought of some dude in Tim's and, like, really baggy pants being like, nah, son. We smoke at the Dennis thing. And then some guy from Australia is like, I couldn't even warm up because of the weed. Smoke was so bad. And it's like, no, dude. Welcome to Queens.

[A]

And my favorite part of the story is that, like, in the end, the U.S. open officials did not send the cops out to, like, stop these people, because I was. I was worried. I was worried on behalf of them, on behalf of myself. Like, it's technically not allowed weed in a park.

[C]

Oh, yeah. That's like smoking.

[A]

Because the rule in New York. I don't know if anybody abides by this, but it's like, wherever you can smoke a cigarette, you can smoke weed now, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so technically not allowed. But also, the guy was like, it's New York. Like, there's food. There are people getting off of work, like tournament workers.

[B]

There's also a lot of other smells that can hit you.

[C]

Yeah, I'd rather it be weed than wet garbage.

[A]

I also like the idea that for some athletes, like, weed is actually a ped. Like, everyone in this video is complaining about how it disrupts them. I'm sure there are some people out there whose performance actually benefits.

[B]

I bet in the NBA now that it is legal next season. You will see, and I'm making this prediction right here on this show. You will see multiple players, points per game go up, and you're not going to know why. And people are going to be like, this guy was only averaging 12 points per game. Now it's at 26. And you're like, because he was. Now he's smoking weed. He's in his zone, his flow state.

[C]

Do you think there's a possibility, though, that you also see guys get really scared?

[B]

Okay, I would love to see.

[C]

Just to get in the zone. But then you. You hit it wrong. And you're like, oh, no.

[B]

And we're looking at Draymond Green not coming off the bench. He says he feels like his feet are made of water. Kerr's like, you gotta get in. He's like, you can't. That would be hilarious. Watching a freak out. Watching the first weed freak out timeout.

[A]

It's like, pretty funny. Like, why is Klay Thompson just furiously typing into his notes app right now?

[C]

Oh, God, if that's not me. Oh, that's me. Every time.

[B]

It's like, splash, bro. Why does it have to be splash brothers? We're not even brothers.

[A]

Is gratitude really the greatest gift?

[B]

Yeah. My knee aches. Why does my knee ache? Out of nowhere, he starts freaking out, like, having a panic attack. Did I hurt my knee again?

[A]

All right, Katie, what have you brought us?

[C]

I didn't really bring anything. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. You were like, I'd like you to bring one that's like non sports to balance it out because we've done a lot of hardcore stuff, really sporty. And so I. Which is good because at first my sports story was going to be that the head of a soccer federation made out with a woman in front of everybody after she won the World cup, and then somehow tried to say, like, doubled down on it and was like, I didn't do anything wrong. And that has been an insane story.

[A]

And his mom unfold.

[C]

His mom went into a hunger strike in a church, in a church in Spain for her creepy son, who was creepy. And we all watched him be creepy.

[B]

He gave her a kiss in, like.

[C]

Grab the sides of her head, like in a. No way out.

[B]

Like, you know when someone's drunk at a wedding and they're like, yes, let me kiss you.

[C]

And he did it on the stage on tv. And then was like, what? She liked it.

[B]

She liked it. Locked it.

[C]

Just insane.

[B]

Hey, great job. Come here.

[C]

But since we're not doing a sports.

[B]

Story, Joe Namath her. Can I kiss you? You just won the World Cup. Can I kiss you?

[C]

It would have been better if he asked. I don't. I don't get the impression that he asked.

[B]

He gave a mafia dawn. Yeah, I'm gonna kill you.

[C]

And then implied that's how we are. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

So we kiss her dog.

[C]

It's now making me reconsider.

[B]

If she's like, maybe you need to step down.

[C]

You should ask her.

[B]

Her mom's locked in a church.

[C]

My mom's not eating because I kiss my dog. And I think it's okay. But since we weren't doing a sports story, you were like, let us look at your algorithm.

[A]

Oh, yeah. This is my go to now is I just want people to show me their for you algorithm.

[C]

Mine's finely tuned on my TikTok. The problem is my Twitter. Twitter, once it got that turned into.

[B]

X, act gonna give it to you.

[A]

And it keeps giving me ads for Cheech and Chong's gummies.

[C]

This could be you right now. That's what it always says. This could be you right now. What do you mean? It is me right now on this app. I don't need.

[B]

Don't make me block both of you.

[C]

It's wild Cheech and Chong.

[B]

I didn't want to do that. But, yeah, growing up, if you're like, you're in a block cheating Chong, you're.

[C]

Like, they couldn't do anything.

[B]

What happened?

[C]

They couldn't make me upset. Uncle Cheech, Uncle Chong.

[A]

No way.

[B]

And it is just every constant, every one scroll, every single.

[C]

Better be working it Bet I was like, I hope. I can't wait to see the documentary where they're like, they really capitalized on this new.

[B]

It better work.

[A]

Cheech and John are on the COVID of Forbes.

[C]

Yeah, I. I love that for them, honestly. But on Twitter, My, my. The problem with the new Twitter algorithm is if you click on something once, and I'm a curious cat, so I click on everything that comes across my feed. If you click on something once, you just are served that every time you open the app, like, every update to that story. And the other problem with that is with all these people trying to get monetization on X, they all just keep talking about stories that, like, should have died two days ago. So every day there's a new update or angle on something that you're like, we really didn't have to get this deep.

[B]

You're just the lady at the bottom of the bridge watching Spider man fight hobgoblin.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Where you're like, I was just going home.

[A]

Oh, wow. That guy threw a p. Pumpkin.

[B]

Oh, wow. Is that a bomb or a pumpkin? How'd that guy fly? Hey, guys. What do you got a little hoverboard? Yeah. You really are. You're just one of those that you are. You're an observer.

[C]

That's how I feel too, but my tick tock algorithm.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you know. Do you know Pinky Doll?

[A]

I do. I do now.

[C]

I didn't know if she. This is the other thing about the way these all work.

[B]

Ice cream's so good.

[C]

Ice cream's so good. Ice cream so good. Balloon. Balloon. If gang, gang, gang, gang. You don't know if, like, your thing that you're seeing all the time is, like, popular with everybody or if it's just hitting you. So you're like, pinky Doll is a celebrity in my life. I just don't know if it also translates. But it's good to know that it does.

[B]

It's weird to see these Internet celebrities and, like, who's over aware, like, who's popular with what. Because a guy that's very popular just came into my feed was the nerdy kid who's like, look at the drip. Oh, I'm gonna take your girl.

[C]

Oh, do you know this kid?

[B]

This kid rules.

[C]

He rules.

[A]

Oh, what up, guys? Look at the drip today. The drip.

[C]

Nuts.

[B]

Gee whiz.

[C]

Gee willikers, Batman.

[A]

Is that that drip?

[B]

Oh. Oh.

[A]

This is what it looks like if I walk up on your girl right now.

[B]

Yo, you trying to do something or what? Oh, my goodness.

[A]

Wait, visual. Visually describe Dan. What is what this child looks.

[B]

He looks like the biggest nerd you've ever seen in your life. Giant glasses, messed up hair, kind of like a kid that you wouldn't give any thought to having this much swag. And he's got the most swag I've ever seen a kid have where he's like, check out the drip. It's crazy. I watch $15 he, like, goes off. He's got so much confidence in someone that immediately you would see and be like, I bet you don't have a lot of confidence. So it is that. It is the bear riding a bike theory. Oh, my God. I've never seen this before. I've never Seen a nerd with this much confidence and swag be like, oh, the drip is ridiculous.

[C]

And you're like, I'm a steal your girl.

[B]

Sure, buddy. This is funny because you're like, bears can't ride bike.

[A]

When you said bear riding a bike theory, I thought that that meant that off screen was an adult cattle prodding him into performing in front of a camera.

[B]

But Pablo, if I've Learned anything from 30 for 30s, if I've learned anything from documentaries after they're made, maybe there's maybe a guy going like, hey, we gotta do the drip thing. He's like, I just wanna play my xylophone. And they're like, no. And he's like, what do you want me to call it? And they go say, it's saucy. Ooh, the shoes are so saucy.

[A]

Oh, my goodness.

[C]

The drip today is absolutely immaculate. I cannot even.

[B]

I cannot even contain my swag this morning.

[A]

Hold on, let me hit my jig real quick.

[B]

Oh, that too far.

[C]

What y' all know about dough?

[A]

You ain't know nothing.

[B]

She finds me the best ones. The weirdest.

[C]

That's a lady on TikTok too. That lady who does pre. The lady was like, here's what we're drinking tonight.

[B]

Dude, I've. I haven't drank in 10 years. And Katie found this British woman, or Irish, I think she's British. And she makes these drinks that's like.

[C]

Alcohol on alcohol with more alcohol on it.

[B]

Like three vodkas with like a little splash or something. And then she got a metal straw, and she'd be like, let's try that. And she throws it in and down.

[C]

She drinks it in like two sips. And then she does this thing where she swirls the cup with the ice and the straw so she gets all of the alcohol in it. She's like, that's delicious. Oh, this smells amazing. Let's try it. That is gorgeous.

[B]

And you're like, I don't want to see this.

[C]

Here's what we're drinking tonight. She's great.

[B]

Yeah, she is great.

[C]

But it's really bad.

[B]

But I want. She needs to do a hangover.

[C]

Yeah, a hangover for the next day. She's like, hey, guys, my head is split.

[B]

Bad idea. Didn't eat my empty stomach. I've been dry heaving. I've been making this noise a lot. If you asked me about my drinking career, I would say I made that noise more than anything. When you got nothing.

[C]

The worst.

[A]

Wait, wait. Ten years, though, is a. I mean, is there a Milestone that you celebrate.

[B]

How does this work with a drink? That's right. I don't know. Maybe.

[C]

No, when we get to 70, we're smoking again.

[B]

Yeah, 70. We've agreed. When I turned 70, Katie and I are drinking and smoking again. But that's it. Everything else is like, cool.

[C]

I did it.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. Just quitting alcohol seemed. It was, it was necessary. And then when I did it. Now I don't really like. I don't know, I don't like to rub it in people's faces, but I definitely think my life is a thousand times better because I don't do it. But I watched that and I'm like, that would be fun to hang out with for one night.

[C]

She'd be a good party.

[B]

But then the next day. That's why you need to do the TikTok of the hangovers to show everybody where it goes.

[A]

All right, so we've reached the end of the show.

[C]

We have.

[A]

Well, we gotta say what we found out today. The show is Pablo Torre finds out.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

And so what are you taking away from all the things we've discussed here?

[B]

I know personally, I immediately want to go out to Forest Hills and smoke weed by court 17.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I want to blow a arm size pre roll right at that court.

[A]

Specifically with some of the tournament workers who, like, I know, need this on their break to cater to everybody from Connecticut.

[B]

You are dealing with the worst of the whites. You are dealing with tennis whites. They're worse than NASCAR whites by a long shot. They're not as bad as golf whites. It's around the same croquet polo whites. That's a different world. Tennis whites you need.

[A]

Because tennis whites at the US Open are also going to throw you some slang to prove that they're not the golf whites. And it's going to make you need to get even more stone to deal with this.

[C]

Yes, that makes sense.

[B]

Or. Or they're probably hitting the people that work at Forest Hills with a lot of Katie. And I love doing older mom and older dad. Subtle racism that we've seen.

[C]

Hey, girlfriend.

[B]

When. When white women hang out with black women, they like my mom's age who was like 70, if she gets around a black lady, she'll be like, you know it, girlfriend. And you're like, don't say that. Please don't do that. Or dads go like my brother. No, they go, my man, my man. And you go, he's not your man. We were watching something the other day where he goes, and my main man over here. And I go, I guarantee you do not ever call a white guy your main man, you idiot. So, yeah, you know, tennis whites, they get out there to Forest Hills, and there's, like, a black guy working at Arthur.

[A]

Oh, they're getting so many.

[B]

Excuse me, my man.

[A]

Just so many fist pounds.

[B]

Oh, my God. He's like, am I right? Killer serve. Am I right, my main man? Dude, you. You so hard. I hate it. I mean. Oh, yeah. What did you learn, Katie?

[C]

Oh, I learned that I love you guys.

[A]

That was mine.

[C]

I learned that. I learned that I miss talking into a microphone and I should start doing it again.

[B]

Hell, yeah, you should. Hell, yeah.

[C]

That's what I learned, is that I could do this for, like, three more hours. I have so many more. I'm get home, go through the videos and be like, I should have showed this to Pablo.

[B]

Oh, we have so many videos.

[C]

So many videos.

[A]

So what I learned today is that you guys got to come back.

[C]

Yeah. All right.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

I mean, we live here now.

[A]

You guys cohabitate in New York City.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're welcome. In this studio, we have a generous.

[C]

It's a nice place here, you guys.

[B]

The meadow arc off.

[C]

Just you.

[B]

Beautiful.

[C]

This is just you.

[A]

I'm kind of like a boxcar child, so, like, I have the run of the place. Oh, yeah.

[B]

I always reference that. No one ever gets it.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

By the way, those kids had to have gone through horrific abuse. Okay, can we revisit the Boxcar Children's?

[A]

That's what I found out today. The Boxcar Children.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Underwent. There is a Behind the Music on that that no one should want to see.

[B]

We should break down that the three of us. We should have to read, like, four of those books because they made homelessness seem so cool, where they're like, we're just kids that live in box cars. And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's the man that comes around that hurts you?

[A]

What's. What's inside the bindle?

[B]

What's in your little bindle? And they go. He gives me opiates for when I feel hungry in my tummy tum. Yeah, dude. Let's revisit the Boxcar Children's.

[A]

Thank you both.

[C]

Thanks for having us.

[B]

Yeah, thanks so much.

[A]

Thank you, guys. Thank you for making me feel better about my calves. Most of all.

[C]

They're great. My God, Great calves. Fantastic.

[B]

The fact that you put on pants ever.

[C]

Well, they're rolled up a little.

[B]

Just. It should be strictly shorts, dude.

[A]

Oh yeah, like outsiders. Like you know that movie with just like real rolled up sleeves, but for.

[B]

My pants, dude, I just say Capri shorts above the knees non stop all year round.

[C]

When you do wear shorts, they're above the knees, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, Pablo in below the knee shorts would be very funny.

[A]

Although the cargo pockets are useful.

[C]

I mean, love them. Preaching to the choir. Both got cargoes on right now. Pablo and I wore the same pants.

[B]

She's a cargo girl in a cargo world.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

It's fantastic.

[A]

This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out a Metal ARC Media production. I'll talk to you next time.