Podcast Summary: Pablo Torre Finds Out — "Share & Witch & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and 'The Supermarket Sorceress'"

Episode Date: October 31, 2025
Guests: Michael Cruz Kayne (comedian), Alexa Rosian (aka "The Supermarket Sorceress", professional witch and psychoanalyst)
Main Theme:
A Halloween special where Pablo, Michael, and Alexa go deep into the world of modern witchcraft, myth-busting, spellcasting (including a live anti-AI spell), and why "witches" are more culturally relevant than ever. The conversation blends skepticism, playfulness, and genuine curiosity about superstition, gender, power, and the metaphysics of language.

Episode Overview

The episode explores the lived reality of a "real witch"—not your pop-culture archetype, but Alexa Rosian, a respected New York City witch and psychoanalyst whose mix of humor and authority is as enchanting as her incantations. Pablo and Michael dive into:

• What it means to be a witch in 2025
• The rituals, rules, and social politics of witchcraft
• The intersection of witchcraft with sports, culture, and psychoanalysis
• Ethics in spell-casting
• Gender and inclusivity debates in contemporary witchcraft
• Performing a live spell—cursing "AI" for the collective good

Throughout, the show veers into the comedic and the serious, resulting in a sharp, weird, and enlightening Halloween talk.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. What Does a Witch Look Like in 2025? (01:57–07:00)

• The hosts (dressed, respectively, as a tree and a cheeseburger) invite Alexa, who jokes about not wearing the "pointy hat" or riding a broom—but admits she's wearing a Marie Laveau voodoo T-shirt.
• Alexa describes her unusual dual role: “I'm a professional witch and a psychoanalyst.” (05:03)
• She addresses the "witch as threat" stereotype with humor, acknowledging people's instinctive fear:
  • Michael: “Your personality seems lovely, but inherently I fear you. Is that okay to say?”
  • Alexa: “Wow. No, I’m cool with that.” (05:45)
• Discussion about authenticity in witchcraft: there are "thousands" of witches and "witch wannabes" in NYC alone, some with formal initiations (Wicca/Witch Queen hierarchy), others self-appointed.

2. The Origins, Initiation, and Types of Witchcraft (07:00–13:00)

• Alexa explains Wicca’s modern roots and the tradition of initiations—studying for “a year and a day” for each level, up to High Priest(ess). (09:30)
• There are “witch queens,” but increased organization often leads to fracturing. (10:10)
• Alexa shares her first witchcraft attempt: as a child, she tried a ritual to “raise the dead” at Jamaica’s Rose Hall, inspired by legend (White Witch Annie Palmer)—it “worked”… at least, in a way, sparking a lifelong interest. (11:15)

3. Witches and Pop Culture: Why the Witch Moment? (12:31–16:56)

• Pablo observes that “witches are kind of having a moment”—not just on Halloween, citing “Wicked” the musical. (12:41)
• Alexa embraces “the green-skinned villain who turns out to be the hero” trope and sees herself as someone misunderstood but ultimately benevolent. (13:00)
• She distances herself from viral “Etsy witches” and cut-rate spellcasting—when reflecting on a $16 Mariners curse-lifting, she jokes: “Perhaps she didn’t charge enough and that’s why the spell kind of conked out midway.” (19:58)

4. The Jets Curse: Witchcraft Meets Sports Fandom (20:26–25:00)

• Alexa recounts a New York Times-featured incident where Jets fans hired her to lift their losing streak curse. She clarifies that for payment, “you should always cross the palm with silver.” (21:28)
• The spell “worked” until the client changed the parameters mid-ritual (“wanted the Jets to win the Super Bowl in his lifetime”), undermining the results. Alexa psychoanalyzes:
  • “I think these guys are…the Jets are losers. And there’s something about being invested in losers and maybe not wanting to give up that status.” (23:04)
• Discussion of sports superstition: “They don’t need witches; they have all kinds of superstitions.” (25:21)

5. Inherited Witchcraft and Family Legacy (26:14–31:03)

• Alexa’s background: her mother, “born with a caul” (amniotic membrane), supposedly gave her psychic powers (“She just knew what you were up to—it was truly scary.”); her grandmother was an herbalist.
• Notion of hereditary vs. initiated witches, and gender dynamics:
  • “Men can be witches, women can be witches, trans people can be witches.”
  • Notes exclusion of trans women from some “Dianic” traditions:
    • “A bunch of real J.K. Rowlings over there…” (31:09)
• Alexa critiques the flavorless, sanitized magic in Harry Potter: “It had no…this is a word, ‘tam’, which means taste. No salt in there, no spice in there.” (31:32)

6. The Metaphysics of Words and Power (33:10–34:21)

• Discussion about words as spells:
  • “As Aaron—Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers—once said, ‘words are spells.’” (33:10)
  • Origin of “abracadabra”—“I create as I speak”; affirming the power of language both in spells and in podcasting. (34:17)

7. Spell Ethics and ‘Monkey’s Paw’ Outcomes (37:14–41:59)

• Michael wonders whether putting “bad energy” into a spell can backfire (“like a monkey’s paw”). Alexa confirms:
  • “It could bounce back…it could mirror back.”
  • Intention matters; the psychic disposition of both caster and target affects outcomes.
  • “It will return to you” if the target isn’t “predisposed” (e.g., to harm themselves). (41:47)
• Alexa recounts refusing to cast a death spell on Osama bin Laden post-9/11, preferring to focus on wealth/prosperity spells. (39:23)

8. Live Spell-Casting: Cursing “AI” (45:13–59:14)

• Michael pitches: “I want AI to be cursed.” Alexa is “so down with that.” (45:56)
• Pablo suggests (jokingly) cursing his ESPN colleague Dan Orlovsky, but the focus returns to anti-AI.
• The group assembles a cinnamon-sage-mint bay leaf spell (“supermarket sorcery,” readily-available ingredients), folds a printed AI definition nine times (nine: “number of completion and endings”), and adds nine match heads (sulfur).
• Alexa invokes Fortuna:
  • “Oh, Goddess Fortuna, we ask you to protect the fate of mankind and to turn the fortune of AI. Cause it to slip up and fail so that it cannot harm humanity. So mote it be.” (57:47)
• Pablo: “May humans masturbate the old-fashioned way.” (58:19)
• Michael: “May humans reign over technology and not the reverse.” (58:26)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “When we do something good and we heal, we’re praised, but when the crops fail, we’re burned.”
  — Alexa Rosian (06:07)

• “I think these guys are—the Jets are losers. And there’s something about being invested in losers and maybe not wanting to give up that status.”
  — Alexa Rosian on sports fans and the Jets curse (23:04)

• “If you want to be a witch, be a witch.”
  — Alexa Rosian on authenticity (10:47)

• “Words are spells.”
  — Pablo Torre quoting Aaron Rodgers (33:20)

• “It’s not going to work unless that person has a lot of suicidal ideation…if they don’t…it goes back—return to sender.”
  — Alexa on spell dynamics and magical ethics (40:36)

• “I want AI to be cursed.” — Michael Cruz Kayne (45:44)

• “Oh, Goddess Fortuna, we ask you to protect the fate of mankind and to turn the fortune of AI. Cause it to slip up and fail so that it cannot harm humanity. So mote it be.”
  — Alexa Rosian, live spellcasting prayer (57:47)

• “May humans reign over technology and not the reverse.”
  — Michael Cruz Kayne (58:26)

• “Make love not AI.”
  — Alexa Rosian (58:55)

Segment Timestamps

• Halloween Costumes & Set–Up: 01:57–04:40
• Meet Alexa Rosian (“Best Witch in NYC”): 05:03–06:36
• What Makes a Witch, Initiations: 07:47–10:41
• Early Magic Experiment—Raising the Dead: 11:15–12:14
• Witches in Pop Culture, “Wicked”: 12:41–13:34
• Sports Superstition & The Jets Spell: 20:26–25:21
• Family Heritage, The ‘Caul’ & Female Lineage: 26:21–30:15
• Gender, Witch Politics, & Critique of Harry Potter: 30:24–32:09
• Words as Spells; ‘Abracadabra’ Meaning: 33:10–34:21
• Spellcasting Ethics & The Osama Bin Laden Story: 37:14–41:59
• Live Anti-AI Spell (set-up and performance): 45:13–58:38

Tone and Style

The episode flows with a combination of wry sarcasm, earnest curiosity, and moments of sincere awe. Alexa’s combination of candor and expertise dissolves many pop-culture clichés, making “supermarket witchcraft” sound both mundane and profound. Pablo and Michael juggle skepticism and respect, never letting the Halloween trappings get in the way of genuine inquiry.

Conclusion

This episode stands out for its reflective, hilarious, and insightful take on what “witchcraft” means in a contemporary context—turning a Halloween special into a meditation on the power of ritual, narrative, and communal belief. The live “curse” on AI is both parody and, perhaps, an earnest prayer for a manageable future.

Final words:
Alexa: “Make love not AI.” (58:55)
Pablo: “I usually come up with some very clever sign off…but I gotta say, I think I’m pretty stumped.” (59:00)

Recommended for:
Anyone interested in cultural studies, belief systems, sports superstition, or just looking for a profound and funny listen on Halloween (or any season of the witch).