Pablo Torre Finds Out

Episode: The 2024 Internet Etiquette Draft: Share & Tell with Mina Kimes and Dan Le Batard

Date: December 20, 2024
Guests: Mina Kimes, Dan Le Batard
Host: Pablo Torre

Overview

In this spirited episode, Pablo Torre, Mina Kimes, and Dan Le Batard ring in the holiday season with a lively, thoughtful, and frequently hilarious “Internet Etiquette Draft.” Inspired by a popular Ringer article, they debate the dos and don’ts of modern digital life—ranging from annoying Instagram features and podcast speed-listening to parenting wars online and the importance of digital vulnerability. The trio then dive into recent stories of sports ownership dysfunction (namely, the New York Jets) and close with a fascinating analysis of the “Ozzy” media scam, pondering who gets to shape digital reality and what it means for representation.

Key Discussion Points

1. Holiday Toast & Friendship Dynamics

[00:29–03:12]

• Dan opens with a faux toast, lampooning his content-based work friendship with Pablo and emphasizing the realness of his and Mina’s friendships (“I text with Pablo like, every day, so I can't relate to this”—Mina [01:10]).
• Playful banter about Dan’s holiday gifts to Pablo’s daughter, Violet, humorously sets the tone for the episode.

Notable Moment

• Violet’s Thank You Audio: Pablo plays a sweet message from his daughter to Dan for holiday gifts, leading to banter about “takers” in the Torre family (“First the spawn, his daughter, takes from me…”—Dan [02:40]).

2. Modern Internet Etiquette Draft

[03:12–21:12]

a) Noise Pollution in the Digital Age

• Commandment #1 – No Songs on Instagram Posts ([04:39])

  • Mina: “Phones are too loud. Generally, I don’t like opening things on my phone, not just Instagram... I just want more silence generally on the Internet.” [05:47]
  • Reflection on Instagram’s auto-play music, compared with the MySpace era and Mina’s aversion due to parenting and personal preference.
  • Pablo and Dan question if liking the song changes matters ("Is there any difference if you actually like the song?"—Dan [06:40]).

• Instagram Stories Aversion

  • Mina confesses she rarely views stories (even her husband’s!), leading to a discussion about relationships partly offline.
  • Dan jokes Mina cares more about friends' stories than her husband’s creative efforts (“He’s a producer, an artist... making stories about his life that his wife has no interest in”—Dan [08:55]).

b) Podcast Speed Wars

• Commandment #2 – No 2x Speed Out Loud
  • Pablo admits to violating the commandment of listening to podcasts at double speed in the car, to Liz’s chagrin (“Thou shalt not use 2x speed within earshot of another human”—Pablo [11:00]).
  • Mina says she listens at 1.75x but agrees it’s grating for bystanders.
  • Dan critiques the “energy of noisiness,” pondering why people feel the need to consume content so rapidly [12:36].
  • Pablo’s hypocrisy: “If you tell me that you listen to my [podcast] on 1.25, you’re dead to me.” [14:46]
  • Mina, by contrast, is flattered when people “speedrun” her podcast.

c) Empty Calorie Content & Digital Vulnerability

• Commandment #3 – Offer Some Insight, Not Just Content
  • Dan’s pick: “Thou shalt offer a little insight as a treat so I don’t feel like all I'm doing is consuming things that are empty calories” [15:44].
  • Pablo contextualizes this as a plea for continuity and vulnerability in online sharing (“If a person that you love has disappeared, tell me why.” [16:47]), prompting Mina’s skepticism (“You want us all to be grief eaters online, just plumbing the depths of each other?” [16:53]).

d) Mina’s Off-the-Board Internet Commandments

• Don’t Criticize Other People’s Parenting Online

  • “Just keep it off the Internet.” [17:33]
  • Tells a story about being judged for her comments on sleep training.

• Instagram vs. Reality Trend Is Fake

  • “There’s a thing...where they'll say, like, Instagram versus Reality, and it’s two photos, and they’re always hot in both of them.” [19:08]
  • Pablo: "People should post more ugly pictures of themselves." [19:52]

• Banter about the pressures and dishonesty of filtered online identities, with Pablo and Dan challenging Mina to post less flattering pictures.

3. Jets Dysfunction & Sports Ownership

[21:12–33:20]

• Reaction to The Athletic exposé on “uncommon dysfunction” in the New York Jets organization.
• [21:45] Dan shares details: Owner Woody Johnson consulting his teenage sons for roster decisions, referencing video game “Madden” ratings for player evaluations.
• Mina’s Take: The deeper issue isn’t just eccentric ownership, but the unchecked power dynamics and lack of accountability typical of family-owned sports teams.
  • "NFL teams are billion dollar lemonade stands."—Seth Wickersham (quoted by Mina, [26:14])
  • Mina: “Somebody can be quote, unquote, running something and have zero qualifications. Zero.” [30:21]
• They discuss the broader phenomenon of family-run franchises treating teams as “toys,” with rich heirs as “focus groups” or shadow owners (“…of course they would act like they own the place. They do.”—Dan [25:35]).
• Mina is especially disturbed by the details of teenage sons heckling players in the locker room, likening the dynamic to “owners being Internet commenters, but also your boss.” [28:26]

4. The Ozzy Media Scam: Faking Media Reality

[35:25–47:06]

• Mina introduces the story of Ozzy Media and founder Carlos Watson—a diversity-forward media company ultimately exposed as a fraud that misled investors (directly impersonating a YouTube exec on a call with Goldman Sachs).
  • “He had a really fascinating ability to just convince famous people to buy into him... It was basically a house of cards.” —Mina [37:41]
• Pablo and Mina discuss how easy it is to create a Potemkin media outfit in the age of “nobody knows what real consumption is.”
  • “There are just a million different ways to measure and [they] can be spun however you want, by and large.” —Pablo [44:37]
• Dan reflects on the psychology and prevalence of scams in modern life: “We are in the era of the scam. We are in the era of being so shameless that you can continue to break the rules and hope to be above them…” [43:40]
• Mina highlights the pain of Watson’s scam being “diversity-plated”—it provided ammunition to critics of DEI efforts and exploited employees and goodwill. [46:08]
  • “He saw that, took advantage of it, and that is heartbreaking.” —Mina [46:08]
  • The group laments how the scam became a weapon against real progress for representation in media.

Standout Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Mina on Internet Noise:
  “Phones are too loud. Generally, I don't like opening things on my phone... I just want more silence generally on the Internet.” [05:47]

• Dan on Podcast Speed:
  “If I were hearing that from nearby, it would make me crazy because that’s not how human beings speak. I don’t even like being near the energy of... just an energy, an information energy that is too... It is invasive.” [12:36]

• Pablo’s Hypocrisy (Podcasts):
  “I am speedrunning others but demand a glacial pace for the art that I make.” [14:59]

• Mina on Online Parenting Critics:
  "Do not share your opinions on just parenting generally on the Internet. Just keep it off the Internet." [17:33]

• Dan on Family-Owned Sports Teams:
  “This rich family has a series of players that we can consider human and amazing, but this is... the toy, the side business... spoiled teenage kids could arrive in a place where they think the athletes are like family pets. You can kick the dog if you’re coming home to a house where nobody actually respects the dog…” [29:10]

• Seth Wickersham via Mina:
  "NFL teams are billion dollar lemonade stands." [26:14]

• Mina on the Ozzy Media Scam:
  “Circa 2020, all of these corporations saying, we need to check a box in diversity... He saw that, took advantage of it, and that is heartbreaking.” [46:08]

Conclusion: What Did They Find Out?

[47:06–48:14]

• Dan jokingly laments learning that Pablo’s daughter, Violet, is every bit the “taker” her father is. [47:23]
• Mina discovers Pablo is wounded by her lack of engagement with his Instagram stories (“No, I’m not going to look at them. I’m not going to lie.” —Mina [47:51]).
• Pablo realizes he “should get better friends,” sparking more friendly ribbing before they part for the year.

Key Timestamps

• Holiday Toast and Banter: [00:29–03:12]
• Internet Commandments Draft:
  • Noise/Instagram Songs: [04:39–09:42]
  • Podcast Speed: [10:07–15:13]
  • “Insight as a Treat”: [15:44–17:08]
  • Mina’s Rules (Parenting, Instagram vs. Reality): [17:31–20:17]
• Jets Dysfunction & Ownership: [21:12–33:20]
• Ozzy Media Scam: [35:25–47:06]
• Show Wrap-Up: [47:06–48:14]

Tone & Style

The episode blends comedy, candid confession, and insightful criticism. The group’s rapport creates a sense of “holiday party for digital nerds,” while steadily zeroing in on the bigger questions: How do we maintain humanity and honesty in digital spaces? Who gets to shape reality when metrics—and even people—can be faked? In an increasingly loud, fast, and at times deceitful online world, the “draft” and stories discussed speak seriously to how we can (and can’t) preserve trust and meaning.

If you’re looking for smart laughs and urgent reflections on how to live—and not lose your mind—online, this episode is a digital etiquette masterclass, friend roast, and cautionary tale all in one.