Podcast Summary: Pardon My Take

Episode: Brand New Dungeons and Dragons With Tim Woods & Nick Turani

Date: February 13, 2026

Overview

In this highly anticipated Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) installment, the Pardon My Take crew—Big Cat, PFT Commenter, and friends—dive into a brand-new, encapsulated D&D one-shot with master Dungeon Master Tim Woods and special guest Nick Turani. The episode delivers relentless banter, creative character arcs, and raucous group roleplay. Their quest? Exact revenge on the dastardly Doom Raiders who have stolen their party’s glory and bring them down in a sprawling, chaotic city adventure.

Key Discussion Points & Episode Structure

1. D&D with Tim Woods: Origins and Updates

[02:18–09:00]

• Tim Woods, D&D expert, shares recent life highlights, including running games for fans, planning a D&D cruise in Alaska, conventions across the country, and his mission to spread the joy of D&D to wider, often sports-centric, audiences.
  • Quote [05:23]:
    “My favorite thing is sharing with new people... the number of like, dudes who are just like, ‘I’m a D&D guy now,’ and I’m like, ‘Hell, yeah, you are!’” — Tim Woods

2. Establishing Player Characters & World-Building

[09:00–15:52]

• The hosts, Nick, Zach, Hank, and others introduce their new or returning characters (paladin, cleric, barbarian, bard, warlock, etc.)—often improvising names and backstories on the fly, building a familial rivalry between “Silent Trade Wind” and “Loud Trade Wind.”
  • Memorable moment [12:00]: Big Cat and Zach improvise a soap-opera twist: they are half-brothers, raised apart by their cleric mother—"Barb the Barbarian"—and wolves.

3. The Mission: The Doom Raiders Must Die

[15:52–22:18]

• The DM sets the stakes: the party’s previous dragon-slaying exploits have been stolen by the infamous Doom Raiders—a syndicate-like rival adventuring party. The goal: kill all five Doom Raiders in a bustling metropolis, Waterdeep, without resting or resupplying.
  • Quote [22:18]:
    “The name of this adventure is not go talk to the Doom Raiders and work it out peacefully. The name of this adventure is the Doom Raiders must die.”—Tim Woods

4. Party Naming & Roleplaying Banter

[23:10–24:40]

• The team brainstorms intentionally ridiculous party names, finally settling on “Six Female Chinese Boy Whisperers.”
  • Memorable riff [24:01]: “What if we throw them off our scent and we’re five Chinese women?” — Nick “Female Chinese boy whisperers.” — (Big Cat)

5. Assassinate & Frame: The Schemo Plan

[26:32–38:00]

• Strategic debate erupts:
  • Who among the Doom Raiders to kill first,
  • How to avoid alerting the others,
  • Deciding on a setup to frame a rival gang (the Xanathar’s Guild) for the murder (e.g., carving a guild sigil in the victim’s forehead).
• Extensive teamwork and roleplay lead to a plan involving Greg’s giant moth, fireballs, grappling, and a classic D&D ambush.

Notable Team Dialogue

“I want to tackle Schemo, carve the thing in his forehead and throw him off the balcony... so it’s very public that he was killed.” — Big Cat (Loud Trade Wind) [60:48]

6. Execution: Schemo’s Demise & The Potion Shop Explosion

[39:00–82:43]

• Ehrlich (Hank) skillfully lures Schemo (the wizard) alone; Loud Trade Wind joins via rooftop to deal massive damage.
• After elaborate fighting, Greg’s moth drops Schemo from the sky, finishing him.
• Silent Trade Wind (Zach) then rigs the potion shop with explosive potions, detonating as Istred (the cleric/greed), her bodyguards, and shopkeepers arrive—killing the second Doom Raider and the minions in a fiery collapse.
  • Memorable moment [81:50]: “The collapse dealt 36 damage... you see one just clobber her right in the back, probably breaking her spine... Istred Horn is dead. That is two Doom Raiders down. Well done.”

7. Battle Escalates: Bait, Betrayal, and Fireballs

[82:43–105:56]

• The party uses disguise, persuasion, and muscle-mommy seduction to bait further Doom Raiders out in the open.
• Ehrlich launches a fireball at a cluster of foes, dealing huge area damage—but also hitting party members.
  • The group embraces the game's chaos and friendly fire as part of D&D’s unpredictability.
  • Quote [105:39]: “We’re all hurt. Let’s—might as you know.” —Erlich

8. Doom Raider Showdown: Snipers and Sacrifice

[105:56–137:01]

• The party faces the sniper, Zhiraj, on the rooftops; Loud Trade Wind bravely (recklessly) rides the moth up for a one-on-one melee.
• Friendly fire and the sniper's arrows bring characters to the brink of death, leading to high drama and party debate over healing versus "letting fate decide."
  • Quote [127:01]: “If you heal me, I’ll come for you. I’m like Lieutenant Dan—I was meant to die out here.” —Big Cat (Loud Trade Wind) to Silent Trade Wind

9. Family Therapy (D&D Style): Healing, Stepdads, and Finale

[137:01–162:08]

• Characters continue dropping to 0 HP and being rescued in the nick of time, intertwining familial drama:
  • Ghostly mother appears, offering to heal (with player input re: which son to save).
  • Greg proposes becoming Loud Trade Wind’s stepdad as a healing bargaining chip.
  • Sexual/romantic farce ensues between surviving adventurers and the enemies; some foes are spared and "mate swapped."
  • The last Doom Raider yields, and the chapter closes with the party victorious, their reputation restored.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Introduction of the Party Name [24:40]:
  “And that was it for the six female Chinese boy whisperers. By the way, can’t forget we made our name.” — Tim Woods

• On Killing for Glory [22:18]:
  “The name of this adventure is not go talk to the Doom Raiders and work it out peacefully. The name... is the Doom Raiders must die.” — Tim Woods

• Loud Trade Wind’s Fate [144:45]:
  “You jump out, tumble at your mother’s feet. Died of enrollment. Unconscious.” — Tim Woods narrating Big Cat’s critical fail

• Teamwork & Roleplay [112:06]:
  “You are unconscious now, Erlich. I am sorry to say. If someone heals you, you automatically get back up and running.” — Tim Woods

• Brotherly Love & Betrayal [130:05]:
  “I don’t want to be healed. I want you to kill this guy.”—Big Cat (Loud Trade Wind) to Silent Trade Wind
  “He doesn’t mean that.”—Co-hosts

Episode Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:18–09:00] — Tim Woods update, D&D origin story, cruise
• [09:00–15:52] — Character introductions and familial drama
• [15:52–22:18] — Mission explained; meet the Doom Raiders
• [23:10–24:40] — Party name debate
• [26:32–38:00] — Scheming: who to kill, how to frame
• [39:00–82:43] — Schemo plot: infiltration, assassination, potion shop heist, Istred’s destruction
• [82:43–105:56] — Roleplay escalation, luring enemies, fireball chaos (first party KO's)
• [105:56–137:01] — Sniper fight, healing dilemmas, meta-drama (stepdad negotiation)
• [137:01–162:08] — Final confrontations, “family therapy”, D&D farce, victory

Tone and Style

• Language is irreverent, sports-bar comedic, and full of D&D in-jokes.
• Frequent digressions for bits, ad-libs, and meta-discussion about party tactics and family dynamics.
• Embraces chaos, friendship, and the “let’s see what happens” spirit of both D&D and PMT.
• Mix of strategy, slapstick, and long-running podcast character bits.

Summary For Non-Listeners

This episode is a rollercoaster of creative roleplaying, hilarious rivalry, and group chaos. The PMT crew and guests, led by a masterful DM, take on a city-wide hit-list adventure, improvising as much drama, betrayal, and absurdity as possible. From fake Chinese adventurer names, a brotherly blood feud, and potion shop demolitions, to romantic subplots and a culminating family therapy session, the episode stands as an affectionate parody of D&D, PMT mythology, and the found-family magic of gaming with friends.

Final Notes

• The adventure was fully self-contained: no background knowledge needed, resolutions for all main conflicts.
• Listeners enjoyed a mixture of sports banter, D&D mechanics, and improv comedy unique to the PMT crew.
• The next episode promises an even deeper dive into the “Trade Wind” family saga, as hinted in the closing minutes.

“Congratulations, everyone. You have defeated the Doom Raiders. You have saved the city for them and restored your reputation and leveled up to level seven.”
— Tim Woods, closing the adventure [162:08]