Kyle Schwarber In Studio, Hank Forgot About Joel Embiid, Ryan Whitney Calls In To Explain The Beer Chug NBA/NHL Playoffs + Hot Seat/Cool Throne And Listener Submitted FAQs

Summary

Pardon My Take (Barstool Sports) — April 29, 2026

Episode: Kyle Schwarber In Studio, Hank Forgot About Joel Embiid, Ryan Whitney Beer Chug Debacle, Playoff Banter & Listener FAQs

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Episode Overview

This episode brings together all the hallmark chaos, banter, and sports arguments that make Pardon My Take such an institution. It features:

• The in-studio return of Kyle Schwarber, perhaps the definitive athlete of PMT lore, for a joyous and wide-ranging interview.
• Reactions to the NBA and NHL playoffs, particularly the emotionally charged Celtics vs. Sixers Game 6 debate.
• Ryan Whitney calling in to give a hilarious firsthand account of his viral, disastrous beer chug in Buffalo.
• Plenty of regular segments: Hot Seat/Cool Throne, Listener FAQs, playoff predictions, and the show’s legendary blend of sports knowledge and nonsense.
• Highlights on NCAA tournament expansion and proposed NBA lottery reforms.
• Signature PMT debates (including the “what counts as a no-hitter?” saga with guest input).

The episode is an ideal snapshot of the PMT world: heavy on inside jokes, deep dives into playoff psychology, and a sense that anything can and will be argued.

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Key Segments and Takeaways

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1. Sixers vs. Celtics Playoff Breakdown

With Max Del Piero, Hank, Big Cat, PFT Commenter, Kyle Schwarber (02:40–20:00, ongoing)

• Game 6 Talk:

  • Celtics lose to the Sixers. The PMT crew break down Joel Embiid’s dominance and argue about whether uniforms are to blame for Boston’s woes.

    “Those aren't playoff uniforms.”
    — PFT Commenter, on the Celtics’ alternate jerseys (03:13)

  • Hank confesses he overlooked Embiid due to his injury, admitting he underestimated the Sixers’ chances.

• Bachelor Party Drama:

  • The looming Game 7 could collide with Max's bachelor party, raising the stakes. Inside jokes about “The Don” (the Del Piero family patriarch) being a Vegas wildcard.

    “You are not mentally prepared for Jerry O'Connell wearing a Speedo with Max's face on it, probably getting, like, semi-erect.”
    — Big Cat, drawing PMT’s typical absurdity over the stakes of the weekend (10:29)

  • Multiple hosts predict emotional warfare if the series goes to Game 7, culminating in meme-worthy visuals and calls for streaming the inevitable chaos.

• Playoff Psychology:

  • Honest confessions about fan superstition, “must-win” game mentalities, and how fans prepare (or pretend not to) for heartbreak.

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2. NHL Playoffs & The Ryan Whitney Beer Chug Saga

(Ryan Whitney Call-in, 13:31–41:00)

• The Viral Beer Chug:

  • Whitney gives a detailed, hilarious inside account of completely botching a Buffalo Sabres beer chug on TV—how the special “saber” glass was to blame, how it spilled all over him, crowd reactions, and his attempts to own up on Twitter.

    “While chugging, I was like, ‘Oh man, there’s nothing even coming in my mouth right now. That doesn’t sound great with this…’”
    — Ryan Whitney, self-deprecating as ever (32:16)

  • The PMT crew roast Whitney’s “technique” and joke about the apparent curse he’s now laid upon the Sabres, mixing in discussions of playoff superstitions.

• Listener Takeaways:

  • Lessons on sports fan humility, viral embarrassment, and the generally supportive attitude of Buffalo fans (“they’re like Midwest people in Buffalo, you know?” — Whitney, 39:09).

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3. NBA Playoff Roundup

(General, 14:00–56:00)

• Knicks and Thunder Dominance:

  • Compliments for Jalen Brunson and SGA (Shai Gilgeous-Alexander), with the Thunder pronounced possible Western Conference favorites.

    “SGA was averaged 33, 8 and 4 in this series… they’re so much better than everyone.”
    — PFT Commenter, on the Thunder’s sweep (54:04)

• Play-In & Lottery Reform Analysis (25:00–30:00):

  • The hosts get deep into the weeds on proposed NBA draft lottery changes, gaming out which teams might tank and how the flattening of odds will affect strategy.

• Signature PMT Analysis:

  • Relentless ball-knowing (including a debate on where young stars like Paolo Banchero would go in a “redraft” — “Maybe 15 to 20, this is going to trigger people” — 50:37).
  • The LeBron-as-GOAT discourse, this time with a twist: “LeBron has an incredible game, and they immediately go to Twitter talking about MJ. It’s sad. It’s pathetic.”
    — PFT Commenter (59:31)

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4. NCAA Expansion & Tournament Tradition

(21:31–25:00)

• Universal Disdain for 76-Team Field:
  • Every host unites against the expansion, arguing it dilutes the product, won’t help mid-major teams, and only benefits TV schedules and job stability for coaches.

    “Nobody — the consumer — does not want this.”
    — Big Cat (23:45)

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5. Kyle Schwarber In-Studio Interview: PMT's Ultimate Ballplayer

(102:18–176:50)

Why Schwarber is the “Official PMT Athlete”

• He’s played for four of the hosts’ favorite teams.

  “We’ve been passing you around. You, we… you are our favorite…”
  — Big Cat (102:54)

Candid Career Moments

• Actual emotional lows after being cut by the Cubs, the perception that being “passed around” ended up being the best thing for his career and mental health.
• Detailed playoff mentality:

  “No one really gives a shit about if you’re hitting .400 or if you’re hitting nothing… it’s about, ‘Did you win the game at the end of the day?’”
  — Schwarber (106:41)

Best/Worst Moments

• Admits to “bonehead” errors in the outfield, enjoys reviewing his own lowlights (“I love laughing at it… what am I doing?” — 140:47).
• Playoff home run Mount Rushmore: picks include the wild card tank at PNC Park and his iconic “moon ball” onto the Budweiser sign at Wrigley (146:54).
• Honest about pressure of home run chases: “Looking back at those three games… those were awful at bats. All because something was in your head that probably shouldn’t have been there.” (163:21)

Funniest/Most Relatable Story

• Eating a salad at a steakhouse after the Cubs’ World Series at Theo Epstein’s request:

  “You got a salad, and you were just like, under your breath, ‘Theo’s making me lose weight.’”
  — PFT (169:55) “I was sitting there crushing a chicken caesar salad… I'm watching all these dudes sitting down, eating a bone-in filet.”
  — Schwarber (171:07)

Declares He’ll Never Play for the Mets:

• “Will you promise me you won’t ever play for the Mets?”
  — Big Cat
  “Yeah, sure.”
  — Schwarber (176:37)

Quintessential PMT Fart Question

• The age-old catcher’s dilemma: “What is the etiquette for gas?… There’s times that just happens, man. You’re just crossing your fingers hoping it doesn’t smell.” (167:26)

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6. Hot Seat/Cool Throne

(73:09–89:00)

• World Cup Debacles: Soccer’s organizational red tape, exorbitant prices, general FIFA corruption.
• Viral Sports Stories: “A missed field goal saved a man’s life” — a Younghoe Koo fan’s seizure leads to a tumor diagnosis.
• Female vs. Male Farts Study:
  • “Women, their farts smell worse, but they don’t let out as much gas per fart... super concentrated.” (85:15)
• Michael Rubin moves his 4th of July party for Taylor Swift’s wedding: Classic PMT speculation on ulterior motives.

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7. Listener FAQs, Inside Jokes, and Running PMT Lore

(178:09–end)

• The “no-hitter” debate is put to rest with Schwarber himself: “It was a no-hitter.” (132:40)
• Soggy Sorrows, sports podcast milestones, and the origin of various PMT tropes.
• Max’s devastation after his teams’ playoff meltdowns, and the crew’s “therapy” through podcasting and inside jokes.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Big Cat on playoff fan dynamics:

  “This is going to be war. This is like the Tupac night in Vegas, but for podcasts.” (11:27)

• Hank on Game 7 pressure:

  “Pressure is a privilege, and I’m excited for the opportunity.” (18:17)

• Ryan Whitney, on his beer-chug fail:

  “It looked worse than I ever could have imagined. I called my wife and she said, ‘You looked like one of those things outside a car wash.’” (34:55)

• Kyle Schwarber, on playoff baseball:

  “You’re playing to be remembered.” (106:49)

• PMT on NCAA expansion:

  “We’re fighting against the windmills die.” (22:09)

• Schwarber, on trying (and failing) to hit five home runs in a game:

  “My dumb self asked, how many people have hit five in a game before?… Complete silence.” (150:09)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:40 Celtics/Sixers reactions, “game 6” superstitions
• 13:31 Whitney’s Buffalo beer chug story
• 21:31 NCAA Tournament expansion roast
• 25:00 NBA lottery reform/deep tanking analysis
• 50:00 NBA “redraft” segment (Paolo Banchero debate)
• 54:00 Thunder vs. Suns analysis, statue SGA praise
• 102:18 Kyle Schwarber in-studio interview begins
• 132:40 “No-hitter” debate settled by Schwarber
• 163:21 Schwarber’s candid home run chase reflections
• 167:03 The PMT Fart Protocols (with Schwarber)
• 178:09 Listener FAQs and classic PMT lore

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Tone & Style

• Rapid-fire jokes, robust debate, and relentless ball knowledge tempered by self-awareness and humility.
• Guest interviews are warm, honest, and full of inside jokes — neither sycophantic nor too serious.
• Signature PMT mix of sports minutiae, group therapy, and bro-down absurdity.

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Summary in a Nutshell

This episode is Pardon My Take at its best—anchored by a delightful, self-deprecating interview with Kyle Schwarber, rowdy playoff predictions, and a full parade of PMT running gags. The episode swings seamlessly from sharp analysis to laugh-out-loud comedy, loaded with relatable moments for sports diehards and casual fans alike.

Transcript

[PFT Commenter]

Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Big Cat]

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[PFT Commenter]

on today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, we've got Kyle Schwaber in studio. We taped it last week. So no, he will not be talking about the firing of Rob Thompson today. But great, great interview with Kyle Schwaber. Haven't had him on in like seven or eight years. Just awesome to catch up with him. He. He's the most beloved athlete on this show because we've passed him around team to team. We are going to talk NBA playoffs. The Sixers, Celtics. Game six is happening. The Knicks whomp the Hawks. We have Monday night action that we're going to get to. We have some hockey talk hot seat Cool throne where we talk about everything and then we are going to finish with FAQs and it's all brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Our awls know that Chevy Silverado is the official truck apart in my take. That's because Silverado is the truck with grit that shows up every time. Built a haul, tow and take a beating. But smart when it counts. With modern tech that makes life easier. Big screens, available, camera views that help with towing, and parking in a cabin that feels right whether you're road tripping, heading to practice or loading up for the weekend. During the season, it's the mvp. The tailgate. After the season, it turns into your training camp truck. Hauling gear, tackling home projects and doing the work that never stops. Because the grind doesn't take breaks. Neither does Silverado. Check out the current offers and build your own Chevy silverado [e-mail] okay, let's go.

[Ryan Whitney]

Hey, football guy. Yeah, Martin Mite.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, Martin. Take part. Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Welcome to Part of My take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Wednesday, April 29th, and PFT. They forgot about Joel Embiid.

[Big Cat]

The two greatest words in the English language. Game six.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, Joel. Can't wait.

[Big Cat]

Game six.

[PFT Commenter]

They forgot about Joel Embiid because he was. I didn't he. Everything he was throwing up there was going in. And the Sixers kicked the shit out of the Celtics in Boston. Hank, I have a very simple question to ask you to start this whole thing. How much blame do you put on the uniforms?

[Hank]

I don't like those uniforms, but I've. We've talked about it a bunch on the show. I don't put that much blame on the uniforms.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, I put a lot of blame.

[Kyle Schwarber]

They can't.

[PFT Commenter]

Those aren't playoff uniforms.

[Hank]

You can't hit threes.

[Big Cat]

A proud franchise like the Boston Celtics, Those are classic uniforms they can pull from. Take either one. Like Adam.

[Hank]

They have two uniforms.

[PFT Commenter]

That's not a playoff uniform.

[Hank]

The Sixers just pull their old uniforms out. The Celtics don't have old uniforms.

[PFT Commenter]

Right. They don't need them.

[Hank]

I know. I agree.

[PFT Commenter]

Beautiful.

[Big Cat]

Classic.

[Hank]

That's an Adam Silver, you got to wear three jerseys thing. That's not the Celtics. Their problem was they can't hit their shots, hit any threes.

[Big Cat]

I think if there were better jerseys, they would hit their shots.

[PFT Commenter]

How about that, Hank, Question for you. Did you forget about Joel Embiid?

[Hank]

I overlooked Joel Embiid. I'll say that. I. I thought, you know, he was injured. He wasn't 100%.

[PFT Commenter]

He.

[Hank]

Him being back was actually going to hinder them like it did last game. And I was wrong. He was dominant tonight.

[Big Cat]

Trivia question, Hank. How many points did the Celtics score in the fourth quarter tonight? Was it A, 10 points? B, 11 points? C, 12 points? Sir. D. No, that's it.

[PFT Commenter]

D. 14 points.

[Big Cat]

I'll go with C. It was Noah's.

[PFT Commenter]

B.

[Big Cat]

It was 11 points.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I mean, they didn't. I needed them to score 14 to get the over.

[Hank]

Well, then I'm happy they didn't.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, wow. That was mean. Why are you lashing out at me?

[Hank]

Because if we're going down, we're all going down.

[Big Cat]

I do have a serious question, though. So Thursday night, obviously, everybody, every awl out there, is looking forward to the potential of game seven on Saturday on Max's bachelor party, which we've got, we're gonna have three Delente brothers going up against Hank and Jerry o' Connell potentially.

[PFT Commenter]

And I floated the idea to the Max. I think if it goes seven, we got to bring the streaming pack.

[Hank]

No.

[PFT Commenter]

What are you talking. The game's gonna be on it, like, 10:00am Vegas time.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Is that true?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, it's gonna be like a noon.

[Big Cat]

You think they do a noon game?

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, maybe not. It depends on how the other series goes.

[Big Cat]

I Think we're gonna be so drunk by the time game seven.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. All right, all right. We might have to break the clips, though.

[Max Del Piero]

Correct.

[PFT Commenter]

Clips, for sure. Clips could happen if there's a game seven.

[Big Cat]

But, Hank, when it comes to game six, is that a must win for the Celtics?

[PFT Commenter]

No, it's not. I.

[Hank]

My, Like.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, wow. Max, is it a must win for the Sixers?

[Max Del Piero]

Yes.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Wow.

[Max Del Piero]

Absolutely.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, he wants it more. He wants it more.

[Big Cat]

Get Hank.

[Hank]

The. The Celtics are going to win Game 6, but the only reason that, like, I've. I'm resigned to the fact that they're not is that game seven's on the horizon. We talked about it when the series started. The Celtics should blow them out in Game 6, but somehow they're going to lose, and we're going to game seven.

[Big Cat]

Well, tonight on the PMT group thread, you referred to tonight as the finale. Finale of this series. What did that mean when you said that?

[Hank]

So, pft. To answer your question, I thought the Celtics were going to win. I was anticipating a win.

[PFT Commenter]

This was halftime. You said it's the finale.

[Big Cat]

Finale. Do you know what finale means?

[Hank]

Yeah, I. Again, like, I. I. It means the end. The last of the last. Thought it was gonna be the last game in the series.

[PFT Commenter]

Can we all be honest with ourselves here? Can we all.

[Hank]

Now I know what's going on.

[PFT Commenter]

This conversation.

[Hank]

I will say that. Like, that's. That's. That's honest.

[PFT Commenter]

And can we have an honest conversation about what's going to happen in game seven?

[Big Cat]

Yep.

[PFT Commenter]

We're gonna get 100. We're gonna get hyped up. It's Max's bachelor party. We're gonna be drunk all day. We're gonna be having a great time, great vibes. It's. Everyone's. Everyone in the cabana is going to be against Hank. No.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Who?

[Max Del Piero]

The Don.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, the Dawn. I forgot about the Dawn. All right, so Don and Hank. But the Don might. Might be like, there's a game seven tonight.

[Hank]

He already texted.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, yeah. Don't disrespect the dog. I'm not. But that was. No, the Don. The Don in Vegas is a different beast. Yeah, that's a. That's a fact. Yeah.

[Hank]

And the Delentes are gonna find that out.

[PFT Commenter]

But I'm just saying, like, the Don. I watched the Don in Vegas. He's got. He's. He's. He's the king of Vegas. Yeah. That game might not be the most, but you're right.

[Big Cat]

The Don.

[PFT Commenter]

The Don is a weapon. Absolute weapon. We're going to get hyped up. Vibes are going to be incredible. Everyone except the Don and Hank are going to be like, come on, Max, you can do this. Max's brothers are going to be there. Jerry.

[Max Del Piero]

My brothers.

[PFT Commenter]

Jerry o' Connor's going to be bonging in Matt, in Hank's face. And then the songs are going to win by 50 points. And it's going to be not even competitive. And we're all going to be like, well, that sucked.

[Max Del Piero]

This is what I have to say.

[PFT Commenter]

And I don't want that to happen.

[Hank]

Truly, from the bottom of my heart, do not want that to happen.

[Max Del Piero]

The Celtics are going to win in six. The Celtics are going to win in six.

[Hank]

That would be great.

[Max Del Piero]

We all know this. The Celtics are going to win in six. I get excited now, but you know,

[PFT Commenter]

you know, you were just talking about

[Hank]

the next series game plan with memes.

[Max Del Piero]

I. Whoa, yeah, don't bring me. I started this. That conversation with memes. They had Cat on the tv and. And I said, this isn't going to ha. I literally started the conversation and said, this isn't going to happen.

[PFT Commenter]

So why.

[Max Del Piero]

But by the grace of God.

[PFT Commenter]

See it. If you didn't say by the grace

[Max Del Piero]

of God memes, I did say. I was like, this isn't going to happen. The Celtics are going to win. But if it does, Cat wouldn't be able to play in the series against the Sixers because MB just dominates Cat. And Mitchell Robinson is very good against Embiid. That's all I said. That's just analysis.

[Kyle Schwarber]

That's talking ball.

[Big Cat]

Well, no, what it was.

[Hank]

That's belief.

[Max Del Piero]

That's talking ball.

[Hank]

That's belief.

[Big Cat]

It's Max using his imagination. He's like, if it got there, then I could see that happening.

[Max Del Piero]

I started the conversation by saying it's

[Big Cat]

not make believe anymore.

[Max Del Piero]

Memes, fact or fiction?

[Big Cat]

Did I start the conversation saying Max

[Hank]

was, you know, resigned to the fact that the sexes were going to lose the series? That made me like, oh, Max believes

[Max Del Piero]

you forgot about him.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Be.

[PFT Commenter]

I also. Is that the bead? I forgot about the Don. I can't believe I forgot about the Don. You're fucked, Max. The donors, dude. The Don's got powers that we don't even know about.

[Kyle Schwarber]

The Celtics are going to win in six.

[Big Cat]

And that.

[Max Del Piero]

But. But by the grace of God, if we get to a game seven, the one no one wants, that the one difference is going to be Hank versus Max. That's. That's a battle that Hank wins 10 times out of 10. Hank versus the Dellente brothers trio.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, but what about the Don?

[Hank]

Yeah, but then I get three Delinte's on my wall.

[Big Cat]

It's even take them all out. Hank, you're gonna be like, yeah, you're

[PFT Commenter]

gonna be surrounded by Italians.

[Max Del Piero]

Oh yeah, we're gonna. Oh, and my brother the dog. I know you think I'm a proud Italian, wait till you meet my brother. I have my, my brother.

[PFT Commenter]

Was that a threat?

[Max Del Piero]

My brother specifically requested for the Eagles Italian flag hat on the side that, that big Dom and Sirianni wear. And I got Big Tom to send me one and I gave it to him.

[PFT Commenter]

Shout out, Big Tom, man.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. It's like a Jokic brothers coming at you. I think that it's going to be, it's going to be great.

[PFT Commenter]

This so bad.

[Big Cat]

It's going to be great. I, I, I've no, it's got. Watch a basket basketball game before with Joel Embiid playing and hearing them yell Come on Joe, come on Joe. At the TV over and over. It's it actually they do inspire him. I believe that the, that Joel Embiid can hear the Delentes through the television if they're all in the same place. And I think, Hank, you are not mentally prepared for the image of Jerry OConnell wearing a Speedo with Max's face on it. Probably getting like semi erect.

[PFT Commenter]

No, not semi screaming.

[Big Cat]

Well, he'll be like, I swear to God. It's usually bigger. Guys. Zoom in. It's bigger and he's going to be in your face. He might injure your eardrum again.

[Hank]

I don't want. I am a, I am a peaceful person. The last thing I want is war. War is bad for, for all countries involved.

[PFT Commenter]

You always say that when it comes to live and this is, this weekend

[Hank]

is a celebration of Max and like it's, it should be all good vibes and all for Max and like the last thing I want is for this to happen. But as Max said, if by the grace of God it happens, I will. It is war and we will be going to war and like we're going to smoke Max and his brothers and the vibes are going to go down for a little bit. But that's just that that I don't want it to happen.

[PFT Commenter]

But oh my God, getting all three Delentes and Jerry o' Connell in one full swoop. He's going to, it's not going to happen.

[Hank]

Well, there might be another Game 7 on Saturday, right?

[Big Cat]

No, Hank is right. Like this is going to be War. This is like, this is like the, the Tupac night in Vegas, but for podcasts.

[PFT Commenter]

What if we just ended the bachelor party? If Hank won, we're like, all right, we're done. Party's over. No dinner, nothing.

[Hank]

Yeah, I mean, we're going to be on a billion.

[PFT Commenter]

We are going to be on a billion thing.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's like, we are going to be on a billion.

[Big Cat]

We're.

[PFT Commenter]

If it's a night game, it's a fact. We're going to be on a billion.

[Hank]

If it's a night game.

[PFT Commenter]

There is no night game.

[Hank]

But, yeah, I'm saying, like, east, east coast time. The later it is.

[PFT Commenter]

Four o'.

[Ryan Whitney]

Clock.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. The zero and the derby. Everything's going to be happening all at once. Oh, man. Max, you got to win on Thursday.

[Max Del Piero]

I will say smallest spread of the series by far.

[Big Cat]

What are we looking at?

[Max Del Piero]

DraftKings is starting to give this series a little bit more respect.

[PFT Commenter]

Five and a half.

[Max Del Piero]

Five and a half.

[Big Cat]

And beads. His appendix seems to be feeling better game after game. He looked more comfortable tonight.

[PFT Commenter]

You forgot about him. Be.

[Hank]

We didn't hit any shots. Like, it's, it's fun for the Sixers to get their hopes up.

[Max Del Piero]

It is.

[Hank]

We didn't, we didn't hit any shots.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but, I mean, that's been.

[Hank]

I know, I know, I know.

[Big Cat]

Derrick White problems.

[Hank]

Yeah, I, there's something going on with him. I think he's just, like, being very tough, and it's going to be one of those things where, like, a report comes out after the season, but something, Something's not right. Something's not right. No, I, I, I'm giving Derek White the benefit of the doubt, but I don't think he's, he's, he's not 100% right.

[Big Cat]

But if this was a Sixer that was having a mystery illness like you,

[PFT Commenter]

you'd laugh at him. Bes injuries. Well, no.

[Hank]

And be would be like, oh, I have a, I'm hurt, but I'm still going to play.

[Big Cat]

And then, like, that's what you're saying that Derek White's doing.

[Hank]

No, he's not saying he's hurt.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Right.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[PFT Commenter]

But also indeed wouldn't say, I'm hurt, but I'm still gonna play.

[Big Cat]

He'd just be hurt.

[PFT Commenter]

He'd be like, I'm shutting it down. True, Max, not true. But we're. Are we just not going to talk about one of the biggest possessions of the game?

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah,

[PFT Commenter]

I mean, it. Be went out with an injury and

[Hank]

Andre Drummond hit a three that actually was ridiculous. I wish watching in the cave together were you guys.

[PFT Commenter]

That was big.

[Hank]

Scared to show up.

[PFT Commenter]

Drummond, an impactful seven minutes from him.

[Hank]

That was an insane three.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, that's. That's my guy, Drummy. He can do that shit. Other series memes. Meme Zach. What a win.

[Hank]

Pasta game six.

[PFT Commenter]

And that was our hockey recap.

[Hank]

Shout out to Whitney.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Whitney cursed the. Cursed the sabers with his very slow beer chugging.

[PFT Commenter]

That not. No, no, no, no. Pft. What? I appreciate you doing that to try to shield our good friend Ryan Whitney calling it a very slow beer chug. He, like, he was, like, fondling the saber and looked like he was also choking at the same time.

[Big Cat]

So to me, it kind of looked like he was, like, playing it like an instrument. Like he was blowing out into it. I don't know what he was trying. Some guy. Listen, some guys are chug guys. He's not a chug guy.

[Hank]

It looked like he was treat. Maybe you couldn't see inside the can. And he was just like. You know, sometimes people will do that where they, like, put a bottle up to their mouth, but don't drink it like they're drinking.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Hank]

He looked like he was trying to just, like, make the look that he was trying.

[Big Cat]

He didn't realize that the saber was clear.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Yeah. I think the offhand also screwed him up. He, like, kind of lost balance somehow with his offhand. It was so. I, I, I texted Dave right away. I. We got to release statement. Like, it's, It's. This is bad.

[Big Cat]

He was cupping balls on the saber,

[Hank]

and it's so funny that it's, It's. I mean, buffalo. That there's actually some energy in there tonight. And it's like if, if he.

[PFT Commenter]

What do you mean? Actually?

[Hank]

If the Bruins win this series.

[PFT Commenter]

What are you talking about?

[Hank]

Because he went there and wore the jersey and did the, like. It will be the funniest. The funniest storyline of all time.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Watch it again. See what I'm saying about his offhand? I don't. It's like a chewing gum and walking thing. He can't pump the crowd up and drink at the same time. If he got all out of rhythm and he couldn't figure it out, the

[Big Cat]

physics, like, he just has it.

[PFT Commenter]

Horse. He has it like, watch, Watch. The beer is going down his left hand, like, stop.

[Big Cat]

It's not even really a physics question. It's just when you drink a beer, you have to. You have to tip the beer up. Yeah, I guess that's physics. But it's just like if you've ever, if you've ever drank a beer, you know how gravity works with a beer.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, man. Yeah. The Whitney curse might be real. And it's funny because, you know, he went to this game, and then the oilers are up 3 nothing in the first period. Just like that.

[Hank]

I, I text whatever it costs to get Whitney in the building for game six. He has to do it because it's in Boston.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Whitney's got to go.

[PFT Commenter]

Ah, he was part of the Blade gang. He looked awesome.

[Big Cat]

It's a great goal by Pasta, too, in overtime. Sick finish.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. In the wild. Big wins, big win. Wilder one away. All right, so the Knicks, Zach and Memes, Very impressive game.

[Big Cat]

Got it done.

[PFT Commenter]

Jalen Brunson was phenomenal. Do we feel like all is right back with the world right now? It's like, hey, you're better than them. Just finish this off.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it was just absolute shit kicking.

[PFT Commenter]

It feels like the end of game

[Big Cat]

three is the, is the start.

[PFT Commenter]

I saw you saying that because there was like tears and shit after game three.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Someone dropped that report of the Knicks locker room, like, right after the game. They were crying after game three.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So they say.

[PFT Commenter]

What, what's the schedule if you both win on Thursday?

[Hank]

Saturday.

[PFT Commenter]

Saturday's game one.

[Hank]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I don't know.

[PFT Commenter]

Does anyone know?

[Big Cat]

I didn't look that far ahead.

[PFT Commenter]

I can look. I'd love to see it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I don't know how that works.

[PFT Commenter]

I'd love to see it with Jerry

[Hank]

between May 2 and May 4.

[Big Cat]

Memes, what are your thoughts on. On.

[PFT Commenter]

So that would be Saturday.

[Big Cat]

That cat's about to get a pushed in. If it's Sixers against the Knicks,

[PFT Commenter]

I just want to make it pass this round. You guys are gonna beat the Hawks, and then we're gonna beat the fuck out of whoever we play. Zach, you, you've been, Zach has actually been correct about this series. After game three. And the not getting a shot off, Zach was like, it's a seven game series, boys. Don't worry. Seven game series. This series is now it is always supposed to be. Right. Tune up series, get right.

[Big Cat]

I mean, just.

[PFT Commenter]

Boys are back in physical. It was great to see tonight.

[Big Cat]

Can't wait.

[Hank]

It's a one and a half point spread for Thursday.

[PFT Commenter]

The Knicks are better than the hawks,

[Hank]

though, by one and a half points according to DraftKings ports.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Okay.

[PFT Commenter]

I mean, I, I, I guess. Yeah. I mean, whether, whether it's six or seven. I, I would take the Knicks, if they play in game seven in New York.

[Big Cat]

I can tell Hank's worried. Hank's officially worried. This is. This is Hank's worried face where he gets, like, a little grumpy, a little short with everybody.

[Hank]

Grumpy.

[Big Cat]

But he puts. It's a different cocky Hank than what we usually get. This is the h. The. The cocky Hank that you can tell he's projecting a little bit.

[Hank]

Pressure is a privilege, and I'm excited for the opportunity.

[Big Cat]

Real piece of cocky Hank.

[Hank]

You don't find out who's on the ropes up against the wall. Yes. And that's when you find out you. That's when you get championship DNA.

[PFT Commenter]

That's when.

[Hank]

That's when you have to pull.

[PFT Commenter]

You're right. Pft. But he.

[Big Cat]

He.

[PFT Commenter]

He is on the ropes, but he doesn't admit he's on the ropes. We know. No, no, no, no. But you don't. You have to be heart of hearts. You do not think the Celtics are going to lose this series.

[Hank]

We're going to Game seven. Kill him. We're not losing this series.

[PFT Commenter]

Right. So. But he.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Game seven.

[Hank]

Anything can happen, man. It's game seven.

[Kyle Schwarber]

That's why it's the best week of the year.

[PFT Commenter]

We. I mean, we haven't talked about the fact, like, you. You talked at length about the three Delentes and Jerry o' Connell on your wall. Like, what happens if Sun Saturday happens and you lose? I. You're right.

[Hank]

I haven't talked about that. I haven't even thought about that. And I won't at all. Nope.

[Big Cat]

What are the chances that you would go home?

[Hank]

I would. I. I don't know, because I haven't thought about it.

[PFT Commenter]

He wanted to say he wouldn't, but

[Big Cat]

you might very much. If you got three Delentes, like, everywhere you look, you're in a fun house mirror of. Of Italians, and every time you turn around, they're in your face, just talking. Yeah, you might. You might leave. I won't blame you.

[Hank]

I. Yeah, they're going to win, and

[Max Del Piero]

they're going to win.

[Hank]

Celtics.

[Max Del Piero]

You went on Thursday. What are we talking about?

[Big Cat]

What's the best outcome for the podcast? Obviously, a game seven.

[PFT Commenter]

Game seven. Something super controversial happens. Maybe, like one guy, like, someone gets kicked out of the game and then a heartbreaking buzzer beater four.

[Max Del Piero]

We've seen the playbook of Hank beating me a million times.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Your bachelor party. No, no, the best for the podcast would be Max having, like, the best bachelor party of all time and. And that, like, just having the best

[Big Cat]

day of all time until they lose on a buzzer beater. That would like. If we're being honest, we've seen this happen before and it kind of rocks

[PFT Commenter]

when it does happen. No, but also Max beating Hank and then Memes beating Max.

[Big Cat]

That'd be good.

[PFT Commenter]

That'd be a. A hell of a twist.

[Big Cat]

That would be good.

[PFT Commenter]

The script writers. You'd have to tip your cap on that.

[Big Cat]

But I also love seeing memes beat Hank. That's the thing. Back to back years being both. Yeah. And still

[PFT Commenter]

I'm excited boys.

[Big Cat]

This good ball no matter what. I just. I need game seven. I need it so bad.

[PFT Commenter]

Maybe dueling game Sevens although. Yeah. Yeah.

[Hank]

That's too much.

[PFT Commenter]

Too much balling game sounds. That might be too much ball. That would get us very exhausted.

[Max Del Piero]

Nah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

D game sounds.

[PFT Commenter]

And where would we find our Energy Spurs?

[Big Cat]

We should invite Josh Allen.

[Ryan Whitney]

Spurs.

[PFT Commenter]

Spurs. Done. Series. Done. Trailblazers. Thanks for coming out. You won one game.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Wemby was hurt.

[Big Cat]

Good job.

[PFT Commenter]

Who cares?

[Big Cat]

When we got pissed about the league's concussion policy.

[PFT Commenter]

I.

[Big Cat]

Look, I didn't know when we had that dog in him like that. Yeah, he's like the NBA forced me to be a. Yeah, he's a football guy. I didn't want to be.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, he's a true footballer.

[Big Cat]

That's what I'm saying. I think. I think the Thunder might. They might have their hands full with the Spurs.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. But remember, it wouldn't be for another round.

[Big Cat]

Right. In the Western Conference finals.

[PFT Commenter]

And then the last two things before we kick it to ourselves. Talk about some. The games on Monday we have. The NCAA is pretty much officially expanding to 76 teams in the tournament. I think we all are in agreement that it's a bad idea unless it was to get more of the mid majors in. But we know the truth is that's not what's going to happen. It's going to be a bunch of 500 sec and big 10 teams.

[Big Cat]

I thought about it more.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That would be the one acceptable way. But it should just go back to 64 if we're being honest.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I don't like 68. Never liked it. I don't give a. About the playing game. A 6014 bracket is perfect. It's clean. Keep it there. But we're fighting against the windmills died. Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. So it's six games today. So it's six games Tuesday, six games Wednesday would be the. The, the new format where they. They, they change it to 24 teams playing. The plan.

[Big Cat]

I hate it.

[PFT Commenter]

Hate it. It was all 16 teams. I think two 15s and then a combo of 13, 11 twelves. Like it's stupid. I hate it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Unless again, if they, if they actually expanded it to include some of these good mid major conferences that end up only having one bid, I'm all for it, but we all know the truth to it and it's going to suck. And we're going to get the Auburns, we're going to get Indiana. And like I'm talking about obviously this last year, a bunch of these teams that were not good. But because you have 76, you have to do it. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Even if it's mid majors, that's, that's the best way to do a bad thing.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But it's still a bad thing. Correct. I don't want it. I, I don't want expansion. Nobody except for. I, I guess the conferences want expansion and. Well, no, the coaches and the broadcast. Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

And the coaches want it because the coaches all like you make you, you have a better chance of making the tournament. You have a better chance of keeping your job.

[Big Cat]

But I think a lot of coaches would be honest and say that they, that we don't need to expand it.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, no, no, but I'm saying like the, the coaches will all use this to their advantage. They'll be like, yeah, turn. You know, went to the tournament three years in a row. The. You were the last 13 seed that had to play in the plan.

[Big Cat]

Right. But the real driving force is not the coaches behind it. It's like. Yeah. It's the money that goes to the, to the conferences, to the schools and yeah. It's, it's. Nobody, the consumer does not want this.

[PFT Commenter]

And honestly, I'm gonna have to start budgeting now because they just added two more full days. I'm gonna lose money. Like just, I'm gonna be. Thursday's gonna come around and be like, I'm out.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And it, it's, it's tough that time of year when it comes right after conference championship week.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And if you were lucky enough to win conference championship week, you have to try to let that all on the line for, for the playing games. It's just hard. It's tough.

[PFT Commenter]

That's gonna be the longest week of our lives. Yeah. Holy.

[Big Cat]

Is there a way to stop this?

[Hank]

Worst week of the year.

[PFT Commenter]

Worst week of the year.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's.

[Hank]

It's just, it's going to be a. It's just not going to be the same. And it'll never be the same again.

[Big Cat]

Just got to.

[Hank]

You realize we just watched our last true NCA tournament ever.

[Big Cat]

Oh, and Duke didn't even make the Final Four.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, yeah, we did just watch the last one.

[Big Cat]

It's too many teams. And then the NBA also had to do some logistics, shuffling around the thing that, that Adam Silver hinted to us last week on the pod. We're doing a 3, 2, 1 draft.

[PFT Commenter]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

So the draft lottery is going to be. Some teams get three lottery balls. The bottom what, four teams. So it's two lottery balls. It's. So it's punishing. The worst of the worst.

[Hank]

The worst.

[PFT Commenter]

I think it's the bottom three teams and each two. Yeah, yeah. It's 1 through 3 get 2, 4 through 10 get 3, and then 11 through 16 get 2.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

So. And there's now 16 lottery teams. And there's also the rule that you can't finish top five three consecutive years, I believe. I think you. Or you can do it three consecutive years, you can't do a fourth, and you can't get the number one pick back to back years. Is that correct? It also is not official. This is just a proposal.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, they're floating this out there.

[PFT Commenter]

You were right. But then I don't know about the

[Big Cat]

back to back number one pick.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I don't know about that either. They have that in baseball, which I don't, I don't hate. Like you can't in baseball. They changed it so that you can't get like the number one pick like five years in a row. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Big Cat]

No team would be able to win the top pick in consecutive years or be able to win three consecutive top five picks.

[PFT Commenter]

I nailed it. I nailed it.

[Big Cat]

I was ready. I was also would not be able to protect picks in the 12 to 15 slots going forward.

[PFT Commenter]

I guess the only thing I would ask is if. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I.

[Big Cat]

As long as this doesn't.

[PFT Commenter]

Where are the unintended consequences? I can't figure it out, but I'm sure someone's gonna find a loophole. Some nerd's gonna find a loophole and it's gonna be like, oh, we should have thought about this.

[Big Cat]

Well, as long as it doesn't take effect this year, I'm okay with it.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, no, it doesn't.

[Big Cat]

Okay, good.

[Hank]

So you're good.

[Big Cat]

Good.

[PFT Commenter]

Where are the unintended consequences? Would it be like if you trade your first round pick, you would tank even harder because you wouldn't want. You'd want to get two instead of Three. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Big Cat]

If you wanted to fuck the team that you traded, well.

[PFT Commenter]

And also if you didn't want to have the clock set, I don't know how it would work if you. If you. If. All right, so let's say the Wizards trade their first round pick. Yeah. And if the Wizards get the first pick and they've traded it, would that make it ineligible for them to get the first pick next year?

[Big Cat]

I don't think if it. If it conveyed somebody else, I don't think that they would get.

[PFT Commenter]

Because. No, because they technically won the lottery. Right.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. But that seems like something that there would be.

[PFT Commenter]

Either way, that would be the one unintended consequence because then the Wizards would then try to tank even harder to get only two lottery balls instead of three.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[PFT Commenter]

But on the. On surface, it does kind of like it will make teams at the bottom a little more competitive at the end. Because why wouldn't. Why would you want to have one of the bottom three records?

[Big Cat]

There would be some awesome games the last, like three weeks of the season.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Between some really, really shitty teams.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That'd be fun.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I think. I think it works. I don't know. Someone's good. Some nerd's gonna find a hack for it and be like, they didn't think about this.

[Big Cat]

So where's. Where's the line between getting. Getting the three lottery balls and the

[PFT Commenter]

one 11 through 16? Okay, so four through 10 is three.

[Big Cat]

The losers of the seven, eight playing games get one lot of ball. Okay. All right.

[PFT Commenter]

Correct. So, yeah. It expands it so that. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. I think someone's going to find a loophole. You know they will. Yeah. There's going to be a nerd to me. Okay.

[Big Cat]

Here's what the loophole might be. It feels like if you're in the play in slot, you want to lose that game.

[PFT Commenter]

Well, oh, yeah. And also if you're the. If you're 11, 12, 13, 14, you're going to be tanking hard. Yeah. At the end of the season, right?

[Big Cat]

I think so.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Because you'd be tanking for your three lottery balls.

[Big Cat]

Because I think.

[PFT Commenter]

And then you. And then if you're in. If you're already secure in that 4 through 10, you'd be tanking as well to not get up. See. Yeah. It's just. It just. It shifted. Tanking.

[Big Cat]

I'd have. I'd have to look at the numbers, but it just. Based on math. Vibes boy. Math. If the loser of the Seven, eight. Playing game gets one lottery ball.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Each lottery ball seems pretty valuable.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So losing. I feel like losing that game would be of higher interest than it is right now, as we currently stand.

[PFT Commenter]

Correct. And it. Like I said, it's.

[Big Cat]

It's.

[PFT Commenter]

No matter what, it's going to be better because the odds are flattened significantly. But at the last two weeks of the season, if you're the 11th worst team, you are going to tank really hard. And if you're the 10th worst team, you're also going to tank really hard because you don't want to win and get to the 11. So that will be where the tank. It just shifted the tanking to basically, teams 8 through 12 are going to take their asses off. Yeah. Down the stretch. Okay. We figured it out. Only took us a little talking. Anything else? What?

[Hank]

Diego Pavia.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Congrats. Diego Pavia.

[Big Cat]

Raven.

[PFT Commenter]

Raven. Three year contract. Three year contract, all guaranteed. I probably doubt it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, probably.

[PFT Commenter]

But still, good for him. Good for him. He didn't even have to try out. Right? I don't think, like, we love you.

[Big Cat]

He was going to try out and they said, no, we'll just give you the contract. That's why I'm. I'm expecting probably none of it is guaranteed.

[PFT Commenter]

Are you scared of that? Hank, he's your guy. Yeah.

[Hank]

I'm happy for him.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay.

[Hank]

I mean, I wish.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Congratulations to Diego. I can't get over the.

[Kyle Schwarber]

The Whitney.

[Big Cat]

I know.

[PFT Commenter]

It's just gonna. It's gonna.

[Big Cat]

It's like he did on purpose, but he didn't.

[PFT Commenter]

In fact, it was the opposite. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He was trying me hard. He was actually trying to amp him up. Memes. Do that again, what you just did. Yeah, there you go.

[PFT Commenter]

Do it.

[Hank]

Do with the water. Do with the water.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He was trying to say, like, new trend.

[PFT Commenter]

He was like, Whitney, but. But then, no. This arm. He lost use of his left hand. I love that guy.

[Max Del Piero]

Why don't you give him a call?

[Big Cat]

Hockey player.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Let me call him real quick. I love that guy so much. He really is the best.

[Big Cat]

We got to get somebody to teach Whit how to open up that throat

[Hank]

and how to scan through the people. It's Merls and Ryan. Whitney skate like rollerblading down the highway. They both play in the NHL.

[PFT Commenter]

People like these guys can't even skate. I know. They both play the NHL. Hey, would you like to make a statement? We're taping. Pardon my take right now. Would you like to make a statement?

[Ryan Whitney]

I. I made a statement on. On my Twitter handle where I can go through it again.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay.

[Ryan Whitney]

I'm sitting here. I'm sitting here with Merles and Memes.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay.

[Ryan Whitney]

Was handed a buffalo saber sword. Going out to the outdoor party outside the Key Bank Arena.

[PFT Commenter]

Huh.

[Ryan Whitney]

Filled with a beer. Went out, apologized. Crazy pop from the crowd. Chugged it all over my sabers jersey. Kind of embarrassed. I'm like, oh. I come off the stage, the MC of the events, like, dude, these things, you can't chug out of them. You have to drink it slow because you can't chug. They end up spilling. It's impossible to chug. I said, oh, all right. Well, I wish you told me that beforehand, MC Guy. I have a chug coming up first TV timeout. Now, I didn't know. I didn't know basically the balance level of, like, going non chug to, like, going really slow, right? Like, there's an in between.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I went.

[Ryan Whitney]

I was on the. I was on the other side of the hard chug, where at one point, I mean, it's balancing like, like, like, like a boat wood on the ocean and the one picture where it's going the opposite direction. Actually, while chugging, I. I was like, oh, man, this isn't even. Like, there's nothing even coming in my mouth right now. That doesn't sound great with this. So I finished. Now here's what happened. I. The. They scored beforehand. I'm like, thank God. Oh, I'm going on the big screen with a goal. Here's another part of this. How the. Did TNT put. Why was this on tv? It was a TV timeout.

[PFT Commenter]

I think Biz made them.

[Ryan Whitney]

Made sure TNT knew I was going on that because I had told Biz and our agent. Oh, it's at the TV timeout. First period, first one. After the 14 minute mark. He probably told TNT. I've never seen one of those on TV. So I. I went back to the seat with Myrrh. Murray was standing next to me going, what was taking you so long? What was these. I'm like, dude, I got caught between.

[PFT Commenter]

I didn't get to drink my beers

[Ryan Whitney]

because I was waiting for him to finish it. So he's like, what was telling you? So I'm like, dude, I got caught between the not chug and spill and like a really, really, really slow chug.

[PFT Commenter]

And then.

[Ryan Whitney]

Yeah, man. So then I. All of a sudden my. The texts are so there's no service that you can't, like, get the Twitter up and. But I got text coming through. I'm talking. I'm talking 100aminute. What the. What the. What was that? What's going on? And I'm like, what. How all these. What's going on? Well, boom, I see Pornoise tweet. I said, oh, my God, it was on tv. I go, I gotta see. How did this look? Did it look that bad? It looked worse than I ever. It looked worse than I ever could have imagined. I called my wife after. She goes, you looked. She said, you looked like one of those things outside of, like, we will buy the gold like a car wash.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Whitney]

She's like, your arm looked like one of those flappy arms.

[PFT Commenter]

Yes.

[Ryan Whitney]

Trying to pump up the crowd while doing the job.

[PFT Commenter]

That's caught. That's caught in the middle. That's where you. That's your left hand. I think you lost your balance. Like, your left hand just stopped moving, buddy.

[Ryan Whitney]

To the bathroom. So then I go to the bathroom, and there's an Indian guy in there, and he's like, hey, man, what was up with that Ch. I did one earlier out of the sword, and it went all my jersey. And everyone was like, oh, you can't chug out of those. It's like a known thing in Buffalo. And the guy goes, man, you. You gotta own the spillage, man. And I said, you're a hundred percent right, dude. Think of how much better it is. Buffalo wins that game if I just go straight north to south. And it's.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah. It looked like you were having a medical emergency.

[Big Cat]

And really, the spill wouldn't be that bad. I. I think the spill. Lesser of two evils.

[Ryan Whitney]

We got. We got Uber Eats coming up. Four, one. Thank God.

[PFT Commenter]

But. But the.

[Kyle Schwarber]

The.

[Ryan Whitney]

The. I was. I was. The Josh Allen thing of this film. Like, I'm not gonna do that. Just a disaster. Just a disaster. Now I'm from Boston. I can't stand the Bruins. Never have liked them. And now it's like, Dave wins everything. I'm from Boston. I'm going against my hometown team. Like, I don't know if Buffalo's winning this series.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. No. No, they're not. No, wait.

[Big Cat]

You did it.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You.

[Hank]

You got to get redemption. Game six at the Garden.

[PFT Commenter]

Hank's trying to get you. Go. Hank wants you to go because he thinks you're bad luck.

[Hank]

How good would redemption be at the Garden?

[Ryan Whitney]

You want me to go, then?

[PFT Commenter]

No, he thinks you're bad luck for the. For the Sabres.

[Ryan Whitney]

Oh, no, Sherlock.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Whitney]

Going to another one of those games isn't even leaving Buffalo. I said, yeah, we get Some plans, and we get some plans in store if this thing goes when this thing goes seven for Merles to address what happened and, and really fix it. But thank God the Oilers are winning. But what a night, boys. I was. We were, we were rollerblading on the side of the highway like 13 hours ago. It feels like a month. Hey, I had the Internet by storm today.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you did sound like Mincy.

[Ryan Whitney]

And then, and then I'm the laughing song of the Internet a minute later.

[PFT Commenter]

How are you so drunk when you didn't drink any beer?

[Ryan Whitney]

I'm not drunk at all, buddy. We had, we had two beers with the Blade gang.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Ryan Whitney]

And went to the, went to the, the pre outdoor fest party. I, I chugged a beer that half of it went on the Sabers jersey and then went inside and, like, sipped on a beer till my song throwed around the world.

[Big Cat]

Hey, I haven't even drank.

[Ryan Whitney]

That's the worst part of all this.

[Big Cat]

Hey, what do you say to, to the haters on the Internet that saw the, the clip of you skating along the highway and said, these guys can't skate?

[Ryan Whitney]

My skates were two sizes too small. And I, and I, I played it up. I played up the effect a little bit of being the bad skater guy.

[Big Cat]

Gotcha. Gotcha. It was, it was a funny look.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[Ryan Whitney]

Wait.

[PFT Commenter]

You're the best. I know. Yeah. I'm gonna watch that video like a hundred more times tonight. I just can't believe it.

[Ryan Whitney]

I'm not gonna lie, boys. I need the Savers to win this series.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. You're gonna be like. Because it was all fun and games. Like, you talk about the Sabers, but then you went and owned it. You're man of the people.

[Ryan Whitney]

Let me tell you. A lot of people listening to this city of Buffalo, I, I, after the game, I. Okay, so Pasta got the puck. Most Pasta got the puck. I go, let's go. I'm not kidding you. As the part touched the backhand of his stick, I go, let's go. I was down the stairs before the goal went in. I knew it great enough to savage things that we drink out of. Like, oh, we need to go. And, and, and, and I get outside, I'm like. Because I'm like, dude, somebody's gonna slap me. And the, the friendliest city in the world. I probably had 50 people after the game be like, thanks for coming to the city. I'm like, oh, my God. These people are, they're like Midwest people in Buffalo, you know, it's.

[PFT Commenter]

They're the Best.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Great people.

[Ryan Whitney]

Great people.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Ryan Whitney]

Couldn't believe I didn't have one person say something to me like, rude. Well, not rude. You know, I'd have one person chirp me. Every person. Can we get a pack? Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. And then after the game, I'm the reason. And they're still saying thanks a lot. With thanks a lot. It was okay. Bad Chuck, but you'll get them next time. Just a great city.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh.

[PFT Commenter]

All right.

[Hank]

Well.

[PFT Commenter]

Well, thank you. Thank you, Whit. I mean, I.

[Max Del Piero]

You.

[Ryan Whitney]

You.

[PFT Commenter]

You provided. I had tears in my eyes. I had tears in my eyes. So I appreciate it. And we got. We got a statement out. I texted Dave right away. I was like, we got to get a statement out there. Like, this is a problem for Bar.

[Ryan Whitney]

I think he does like meme said. He goes. He does like, two of those a year.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, no, these are only for real things. And that. That chug could have taken us down, but thankfully, we. We disavowed.

[Big Cat]

I think Tommy Smokes got right on it.

[Ryan Whitney]

As the guy said to me in the bathroom, man, you gotta own the spillage.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, you gotta own the spillage. You gotta own this village. All right, I'll talk to you.

[Ryan Whitney]

It was a bad look, but the. The weak chug is way worse.

[PFT Commenter]

All right. Go Oilers. You all right? Bye. All right, that was wet.

[Big Cat]

All right, now they're up. Yeah, they're up. Four one.

[PFT Commenter]

Now. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[PFT Commenter]

God damn it. He's so funny.

[Big Cat]

Just gotta own it. Just take the spillage. Just take the spillage.

[PFT Commenter]

Someone. Someone said to use like. Someone's like, I. I know this hipaa. So he can't answer, but, like, did. Was Whitney having a stroke? Like, actually having a stroke?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, just like a. Just a moment of fugue state.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. All right, let's get to. We'll kick it back to ourselves in studio for Kyle Schwaber coming up, which we taped last week and Monday night's games. Okay, before we get to Monday's games. DraftKings, the NBA playoffs are in full swing, and the intensity isn't letting up. Every night delivers high stakes drama, clutch performances, and unforgettable moments you'll be talking about for years. And with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, your winnings get a boost every single day, all playoffs long. Playoff stars turn it up round by round, and DraftKings turns it up with them with a profit boost available every single game day from the first round all the way to the finals. Bet, player. Props bet. Live from the opening tip to the final possession. Every bucket, every dime, every clutch takeover matters. And only DraftKings sportsbook keeps boosting you all the way through. All DraftKings customers can enjoy a profit boost every single day throughout the playoffs. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now. Use code TAKE to claim your profit boost. That's code TAKE to get a boost every day of the NBA playoffs in partnership with DraftKings. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-NET, NEW YORK. Call 877-8-HOPE-Y or text hope and why Connecticut called 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org on

[Kyle Schwarber]

behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas.

[PFT Commenter]

Wager tax pass through May apply in

[Kyle Schwarber]

Illinois 21 and over in most Ontario. Restrictions apply.

[PFT Commenter]

One profit boost per customer per day. NBA Playoffs Bets only.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Bet restrictions apply and vary when offered.

[PFT Commenter]

Max bet and boost vary.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Boost only applies to winnings and expires

[PFT Commenter]

at the end of the last NBA game each day. See [e-mail] promos crown is yours. Okay, we're going to put together a parlay for Wednesday night NBA action. I'll start. Donovan Mitchell, 26 points.

[Big Cat]

Spiderman.

[PFT Commenter]

I think the Cavs got to win that. They got it. They got it. That might be a whopping, actually.

[Big Cat]

I like, I like Shingoon 10 plus rebounds. He's going to get a double double.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay, that's a lot of shots.

[Hank]

We're going player props. Yep, I'm going with my boy. Oh, Marcus Smart. Okay, 20 plus points, rebounds, assists.

[PFT Commenter]

I like that. Okay, I like that. So go to DraftKings sportsbook, bet with us and use Code Take to get a boost every day of the NBA playoffs in partnership with DraftKings. The Crown is yours. So Monday Night Games. I for one am happy that. Well, happy is the wrong word. I Wear Football Podcast first fact I love college basketball a lot. I dive into college basketball in in January, February, March, and then I love watching the NBA playoffs. But the long way I'm making this point is I'm kind of happy that I didn't have any expectations on the Detroit Pistons as the one seed because I didn't watch them during the regular season because holy, that team is dog.

[Big Cat]

Okay, I I think I've got a good way to describe this matchup because I was thinking about the the Pistons last night as I was watching them lose the Magic again, just looking like a disjointed team. I think the Pistons are a really shitty good team and I Think that the Magic.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Is a really. Wait, no, no, let me. I flipped it. I flipped it. I flipped it. I got this.

[PFT Commenter]

When you watch a game like this, it's hard to figure it out.

[Big Cat]

The Pistons are a really shitty good team. The Magic are a really good bad team.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

That's how I think this matchup works out. I think that a really good shitty team beats a really shitty good team.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. It just was.

[Hank]

I.

[PFT Commenter]

The Pistons don't know how to put the ball in the hoop, which is a really important part of basketball.

[Big Cat]

Pretty cool.

[PFT Commenter]

They didn't score for the last five minutes. Tobias Harris missed that open three when they were down two, where I was like, that's it right there. Perfect.

[Max Del Piero]

He does it every time.

[PFT Commenter]

He ends up with 20 points. Then you look at, you're like, oh, yeah, you didn't hit any big shots. There was a sequence and I say sequence because it was actually more like a three minutes of the game where it was just a trade off between Suggs missing a three and then beef stew. Isaiah Stewart getting an offensive foul on a pick and it was just going back and forth like that. It was so hard to watch. I feel bad for Cade Cunningham because I know people are going to dog on him. There's two playoffs in a row that he has, you know, maybe not been able to elevate. He is also obviously coming off of a collapsed lung, so I'm going to throw that out there. That's not fair to fully judge him. It's not like he came into the playoffs 100% healthy. It's also not fair because he's just got dog shit teammates. And Jalen Duran is like, he. He's unplayable. No one can make a shot. Kade Cunningham has to start all the offense. He looks gas at the end of the game because he has to start all the offense.

[Hank]

And a collapse long.

[PFT Commenter]

And a collapse long. I just don't know. Like, you gotta get. They gotta get someone who can make a shot. Yeah. So I feel like after.

[Hank]

After the injury, it was a different team.

[PFT Commenter]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

Well, the problem with the Pistons is like, first just to set like the expectation. They won 14 games two years ago, so the Pistons, they turned it around. They're not now they've got the expectation because it feels like they were the team that really gave a. About the regular season. And the east is not very good this year. It's like the Knicks, they could be okay. Celtics, they could be okay. But like, it was a down year for these. We could agree on that, right?

[PFT Commenter]

Down here for these for a long time.

[Big Cat]

It's been a down, like, couple decades for the east.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, like 30 years.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I'd say, like, since when? Like at the end of the Bulls dynasty. Yeah, it's been about a bad 30 years.

[PFT Commenter]

That's not a knock on this. I mean, the Celtics won an NBA championship. I'm just saying, like, in terms of depth, the west is, is, has been deeper for a long time.

[Big Cat]

The Bucks did win. That's, that's a fair point.

[PFT Commenter]

But you'd agree the west is deeper.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Keeper.

[PFT Commenter]

Sure. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Okay. But so, like, it's not a knock on you. It's.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Good job, Hank. You are a world champion.

[PFT Commenter]

What. What was that talking about?

[Max Del Piero]

Of course.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, but he, he took it.

[Big Cat]

He took a personal offense.

[PFT Commenter]

You know, he sounds like, he sounds like an SEC fan, right?

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah, that's exactly.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

Oh, yeah. You're rooting for conferences, you're rooting for conferences.

[Big Cat]

It's a little early in the day to piss Hank off, so I'm, I'm trying to just, like, ease him into it. But we can agree that it's been a down year for the east, right, Hank? At minimum, down year, down season.

[Hank]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

The Pistons really were the ones that cared. They wanted to be the number ones. That was like a big point of pride, which makes sense after coming off like, two years ago. They won 14 games. It is a big point of pride to be like, yeah, we're the one seed in the east now. What a great turnaround. That doesn't change the fact that they're a very flawed basketball team.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. And I, I, I don't know how they didn't get another shooter because, like, they, they knew it at the trade, that deadline that they were going to potentially be the one. They are the one, but, like, a top seed. Windows are, are fleeting in sports. They just got no one who can shoot. And the Magic, again, continue to be. I, I do think it's just partially as the Pistons aren't as dog as I'm making them out to be. This, the Magic are a really bad matchup in the fact that they're tough and they're tall and they're finally healthy, although Franz Wagner gets hurt again. So you just get to do the whole thing over with with the, like, the will. He won't, he plays. It was just a tough, tough watch. I mean, Suggs. Credit to Suggs, he just kept on shooting. I think at one point, Robbie Hummel said he was like, I don't know why he's not following through.

[Big Cat]

He went. He said, like, 1 for 13, right?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, he's like. He's not following through on his shot. Yeah, he took 11 threes. He made one of them. Good.

[Hank]

Keep.

[Big Cat]

Keep shooting through, please. But it's not like. It's not like the Magic are an outstanding team. I think they're a great matchup.

[PFT Commenter]

They're tough. They're a tough team.

[Big Cat]

They're a great matchup.

[Max Del Piero]

They.

[Big Cat]

They. I mean, Paulo didn't look great either. And I was thinking about Paulo, too, last night. If you were to do a redraft right now, like, draft every player in the NBA.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Everyone's a free agent. Where does Paulo go? Does he still go top 10?

[PFT Commenter]

I was gonna say like 15. Somewhere around there.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

I think Priscilla. We're gonna have Priscilla on because he's coming for the combine in a couple weeks.

[Big Cat]

I think he said.

[PFT Commenter]

I think I saw that. He said that he'd take Palo over. Or was it Cade over Jason Tatum? I can't remember which one.

[Big Cat]

We should just do Apollo draft.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Hank]

He's 23.

[PFT Commenter]

What?

[Hank]

He's only 23.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, no, he's. Yeah, he is going. He's a very, very good player. He has potential, superstar level to him.

[Big Cat]

You probably would have said, like, top seven going into the season, right? Top eight.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah, he's. He would still. He'd still be up there, but I. I've topped my head.

[Hank]

Once you do the draft, it's like the age is where you really have to.

[PFT Commenter]

The ages do matter.

[Max Del Piero]

Not top 10, but these 20.

[PFT Commenter]

All right. Make your list.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but make full list.

[PFT Commenter]

Make your list.

[Max Del Piero]

Wemby.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay. Easy. Wemby.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Luca. Luca.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Sga. Easy.

[Max Del Piero]

Sga.

[PFT Commenter]

Jokic. Easy. Tatum.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Easy.

[Hank]

Brian.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Easy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

It's getting old. Yanis is getting. If you're doing ages, Giannis is almost. I think he's 30.

[Big Cat]

Would you take Giannis?

[PFT Commenter]

I would.

[Hank]

That's where it's like.

[Big Cat]

If it's.

[PFT Commenter]

People are getting so triggered by the

[Max Del Piero]

words

[PFT Commenter]

I would take. Max

[Max Del Piero]

is bad.

[Big Cat]

Maxi.

[Max Del Piero]

Yes. Maxi.

[Big Cat]

How many?

[Max Del Piero]

Yes. Max. Not Embiid.

[PFT Commenter]

Harden.

[Max Del Piero]

Not Harden.

[Big Cat]

Edgecomb.

[PFT Commenter]

Why not Harden?

[Big Cat]

Dude, would you take

[Max Del Piero]

If. Wow. Why? Why not? Why wouldn't you take it? Edgecombe had a better year than Paolo this year at 19. If you're.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, I take Ant.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah. Ant for sure.

[PFT Commenter]

Would you take Brunson? I wouldn't. Oh, man. Scotty Barnes.

[Big Cat]

C.J. mcCollum.

[PFT Commenter]

Scotty Barnes. Future face this league. I think he's probably in, like, the 20 range.

[Max Del Piero]

Yes, I think 20 range.

[PFT Commenter]

Now that we're saying it, 15 to 20. This is going to trigger people.

[Kyle Schwarber]

We'll.

[PFT Commenter]

We'll settle with. You know what? Actually, let's not settle with 20. Let's settle with 15.

[Big Cat]

50.

[PFT Commenter]

Let's say he's the 50th best player. Just to get everyone upset.

[Hank]

Chat.

[PFT Commenter]

I have. I have a.

[Big Cat]

If they win this, if they win the series and he goes on to have a good showing in the second round, like that is a direct. It's going to be a direct referendum on Paulo.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He's gonna start buying his way back up this.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, this. Yeah. And this season has been weird for the Magic. They had very high expectations, got injured a lot. I have a crazy stat. I'm sure. I don't know if you guys all saw it, but this should help out Pistons fans that are probably in their feels right now. By the way, did you see the Piston fan waterboarding himself after the game?

[Big Cat]

Saw that. Respect. Soggy sorrow.

[PFT Commenter]

Respect. That's big time. Soggy sorrows. But here's the stat that maybe you can be like, hey, maybe this is the world's working in a certain way. April 27, the Orlando Magic went up 3 to 1 against the Detroit Pistons. The Magic won game one. The Pistons won game two. The Magic won game three and four. April 27, 2003, the Orlando Magic went up 31 against the Detroit Pistons the exact same day.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[PFT Commenter]

Exact same sequence. Magic win game one. Pistons win game two. Now the only problem for this stat, which is a crazy stat, that it was literally 23 years to the day. The Orlando Magic go up 3:1 against the. The Detroit Pistons. The only problem is the coach for the Orlando Magic at that time, Mr. 3:1, Doc Rivers. So that's gonna be that. That part is tough.

[Big Cat]

That is tough.

[Ryan Whitney]

Also. You need.

[PFT Commenter]

You need Doc Rivers to coach the Magic also.

[Big Cat]

The Pistons then had a little bit more talent.

[PFT Commenter]

Yes, they did. Yes, they did.

[Big Cat]

And ta. And rip.

[PFT Commenter]

That was the chy. I remember being like, oh, Tracy McGrady finally gonna get out of the first round.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that was. That was a big. That was coming out year for him. He's gonna do it turns out, didn't work out.

[PFT Commenter]

But.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, the. I, I still don't think the Magic are great, but they've got this matchup down pat. Bane looked good again.

[PFT Commenter]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

They added another shooter in John Morant.

[PFT Commenter]

Yep. I, I love that. I mean, I, the, the, the gun thing. That'd be funny if he got a suspension for a game he didn't even play in.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

But I love that John Moran and. And Jackson were there. That was cool. Yeah. Like that. That was a cool thing for them to. You don't see that very often.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I liked it a lot. Shame on the producers. Actually. I love what the producers. Producers did. But like John Moran's got to go home being like they want. The one time I brought the gun out actually probably.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. No way. That was not the one time.

[Big Cat]

I need to see the all 22 on and like 22 caliber on John Morant for the entire game.

[PFT Commenter]

He brought. He brought like the. The Rambo clip with his ammunition around him. He was shooting that thing all night.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. But it is very cool for him to be there and be like, yeah. Still got a lot of. A lot of love for my teammate. Good for the Magic. Bummer for the Pistons. Yeah, I. I don't think it's over.

[PFT Commenter]

It depends on Franz. If Franz plays, I think I would say it's over. If Franz doesn't play, then yeah, there's. Because it essentially comes down to neither team can shoot. And then you. And then you take off Franz, who can shoot. It's like, oh, now the. Now the Magic or the Pistons.

[Big Cat]

Right now they're the same team.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Looking at each other.

[PFT Commenter]

Spider Man.

[Big Cat]

They only have to beat themselves once.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Okay. Thunder finish off the Suns. If you just listen to us talk about Paolo being the 50th best player in the NBA and got triggered. Just remember we are a ball knower podcast because we were the first to report last year that last year's Oklahoma City Thunder were probably the worst Oklahoma City Thunder in their dynasty. And this year they are. I mean that was a non competitive series. SGA was averaged 33, 8 and 4 in this series. They're just so good. The whole team. Everyone can shoot, everyone can defend. It's. It's nuts to watch. They're. They're so much better than everyone. I don't know if they'll lose a game before the Western Conference final. Maybe one. I think we said it one and a half. Like, I don't. I just. They're just so good and I. The. The Suns didn't have a bad. The Suns had like a nice little season where, you know, they. They put it. Everything's kind of falling apart for them the last few years. They put it back together, get back in the playoffs. But you just played a team that is significantly better than you and everyone else.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I mean I didn't watch this game because we made a promise to you guys to not Watch the game. The Thunder and the Suns. You can only keep so much information your brain at, at any given time. But yeah, we were right about the Thunder. Well, well ahead of time. Yeah. So I'm glad, I'm glad for, for the United States, for America, that the series is over so we can move on to more important things.

[PFT Commenter]

Agreed. Do you want another crazy stack crazy stat? Number two, since March 17th SGA in the fourth quarter in overtime, has missed one single shot.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I saw that one.

[PFT Commenter]

That's nuts. He is so good and I know I'm not. I think I'm done with the foul baiting thing. I don't really care anymore because I the, the moments I watch of this series, he's just, he's just so much better than everyone. Well, he's the best player in the world.

[Big Cat]

He didn't really have to do it this series. You'll be back. You'll be back. We'll get you back.

[PFT Commenter]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Baiting. Oh yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

He is the best player in the world.

[Big Cat]

Million. He is the best. Yeah. Yeah. I said that on last on, on Monday's show. People got up my ass about that. He is, he just is. He is. He's the mvp. He's the best basketball player. He doesn't need to do the foul baiting stuff. He didn't really have to do it this series and good for him. I hope he continues to not do that, but I doubt it.

[PFT Commenter]

Also, the, the Suns, if you're a Suns fan, you could just say maybe they just ran out of time because they lost game one by 35. They lost game two by 13. They lost game three by 12. They lost game four by nine. They were like probably four games away from maybe winning one.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Devin Booker was really coming.

[PFT Commenter]

They were just getting, they were just getting it, you know, closer and closer and closer by fractions. All right, so. And then Thunder or, sorry, the Nuggets survive what would have been a disastrous 41 loss to the Timberwolves. Their role players showed up. Jokic had his triple double played well and they're. But it was their role players like Jokic had 16 assists because guess what? Cam Johnson and Spencer Jones and Christian Brown all made their shots. And now we go back to Minnesota. It feels like to me this is their last stand. The Timberwolves, they got to win game six.

[Big Cat]

I would say game six. Yeah. Game. That's, that's the one that you'd circle. You hope that you get a big game from, from one of your role players. I Don't know if you're going to get another IO game like you got the other night. No, I don't know if that's even possible for him to do ever again. But you got to hope that somebody does something and. And plays out of their mind. Just catches fire. I don't know who that guy's gonna be. You might get the Nas Reed game. Yeah, I love Nas Reed. So maybe. Maybe it's gonna be him. Yeah, they. They had to win it, obviously. I thought the most impressive play of the night came from Rocky, the mascot of the. Of the Denver Nuggets. Did you see his shot from half court?

[PFT Commenter]

I didn't.

[Big Cat]

He was on top of three ladders. I think it was three ladders. Like, this dude was probably 150ft in the air. Threw the basketball over his head backwards from half court.

[PFT Commenter]

What a stud.

[Big Cat]

Swish. Rocky doesn't get enough credit for being an absolute stud of a mascot.

[PFT Commenter]

What a stud.

[Big Cat]

And then he dapped up Grant Hill shirtless. And Grant Hill. You could see Grant Hill was ready to risk it all for Rocky. Rocky's been working out, but hell yeah. Yeah. The they. This is one of those series where like, we. I could very easily see the Nuggets coming back, obviously, because the Timberwolves are depleted right now. And then we're going to be like, watch out for the Nuggets. They just came back from one. They're on a roll.

[PFT Commenter]

And Aaron Gordon's got to get healthy for the. Me to say, watch out for the Nugget.

[Big Cat]

Aaron Gordon is not Michael Port Jr. No, that's what we've learned.

[PFT Commenter]

He's. He's not. He's got it. He's got to get healthy. So. And I don't think he can.

[Big Cat]

They miss having Michael Porter Jr. In that route. He provided a lot.

[PFT Commenter]

Well, no, Aaron Gordon's better than Michael Porter Jr. In my mind, but he's just hurt. But I've been playing.

[Big Cat]

But Michael Port Jr. He would. He was a great role player.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Those Nuggets team.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. If the role players play well, they. They. Yeah. No, I'm still not going to say watch out, though. Oklahoma City's gonna go to the NBA Finals unless there's a catastrophic injury. They're going to the NBA Finals. Yeah. They're probably going to win the NBA final.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I would agree.

[PFT Commenter]

So what was that face match?

[Big Cat]

Well, no, Maybe the Spurs. Maybe the Spurs.

[Max Del Piero]

Lakers get healthy.

[Big Cat]

Love it.

[PFT Commenter]

I like this discourse. Lakers get healthy.

[Big Cat]

I mean, the spurs have their number.

[PFT Commenter]

Lakers get healthy.

[Max Del Piero]

Watch out it would be fun. It would be Fun to see LeBron. It would be so fun to see LeBron going around.

[PFT Commenter]

No, come on. And you know, he could do it. Oh, yeah, I Forgot you're a LeBron stand. I'll just. Let's just say, you know, you can do it. Like, do you know what my spin zone is now with LeBron? Because it's like, you know, the discourse is gonna. Is gonna get even more overwhelming that he's the GOAT over MJ. I'm just going strictly with LeBron. Fans are so sad that they can't enjoy LeBron like I enjoy LeBron. And all they have to do. All they can do is think about MJ and the goat conversation. Like, they. LeBron has an incredible game, and they immediately go to Twitter talking about mj.

[Max Del Piero]

It's sad.

[PFT Commenter]

It's pathetic. I, me, guy like me, I just enjoy LeBron's greatness.

[Big Cat]

You watch.

[PFT Commenter]

I don't even talk about the debate.

[Big Cat]

You watch LeBron and then you go to Twitter and get mad at the people that love LeBron.

[PFT Commenter]

No, I. No, I watch LeBron and just enjoy his greatness. I don't even comment on it. That's how much I love. That's how much I love watching how great he is.

[Max Del Piero]

It's not like you just brought up this conversation on this show.

[PFT Commenter]

Right, Exactly. No, I'm saying because I just love it.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah, it's great.

[PFT Commenter]

It's how much I love watching LeBron is. I don't even have to comment about how right now.

[Max Del Piero]

Right now. You're not commenting on it.

[PFT Commenter]

Exactly. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not. Because you're not enjoying it.

[Big Cat]

You're not triggered.

[PFT Commenter]

I'm enjoying the greatness of LeBron. Maybe LeBron fans should try that. Zach. I like to comp LeBron to LeBron.

[Big Cat]

He's so good in the league. So long.

[PFT Commenter]

You just go, LeBron on LeBron stats.

[Big Cat]

Would you have as your goat the current.

[PFT Commenter]

Whatever. LeBron's still in the league because LeBron just keeps getting better.

[Big Cat]

Like this. The LeBron that's. That's throwing alley. Oops to his balls.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Never seen it before. We'll never see it again. Yeah, we might see it again. You think? We'll see it again.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Also, remember, it was a layup, I guess. Modern Madison again.

[Big Cat]

You think LeBron's got a few more seasons in him?

[PFT Commenter]

What if we get both sons? I think. What's his name? Bryce? Maximus. He's gonna have some work to do. Oh, actually, maybe not LeBron would just draft him. Yeah, I think if LeBron's still playing, he just goes to the Lakers just like Bronnie did, right? Yeah, yeah. Three James on the court. Either way, I'm confident in this spin zone that it's gonna work out for me. That I'm just gonna keep saying that's pathetic. That you have to. You have to. You have to do this debate. It's pathetic just with Joy LeBron's greatness, like I do. Max, any comments on your Phillies firing their manager?

[Max Del Piero]

I love Topper. He's a great guy. He was really good manager for these. These Phillies the past couple of years. Had to be done with this roster. He can't be the worst team in baseball. A change had to be made. Alex Cora reportedly denied the opportunity to coach this team. And to that I say, I don't fucking blame him because this is one of the oldest rosters in the league and they're in last place. What. What manager would be like, oh, this is a situation that I would love to, like, attach my name to for the future of this franchise. I get it. Dave Dombrowski is a terrible, terrible general manager that is now just everywhere he goes, he just decimates franchises. And it's happening right. Right now in Philadelphia.

[Big Cat]

Would you say that maybe he's not a terrible general manager because he got to the World Series? And.

[Max Del Piero]

But.

[Big Cat]

But he just.

[Max Del Piero]

He puts them in a situation that, like, he went to the Red Sox. The Red Sox were 10 years of irrelevance. He did it to the White Sox. The White Sox were 10 years. Or not. White Sox, Tigers, Tigers. I get the White Sox and Tigers mixed up all the time.

[PFT Commenter]

Very different. Not that one's an animal. One's an animal. One's a sock.

[Max Del Piero]

Not that different.

[Big Cat]

Well, no, that one's actually multiple socks.

[PFT Commenter]

That's like one is a living, breathing animal. The other is not.

[Big Cat]

You just get them confused because of their. Their play by play announcer, Jason Bonnetti.

[Max Del Piero]

That. That. I have no idea what that means.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

By the way, shout out to the White Sox. I went to the White Sox game on Saturday. The campfire milkshake is everything that you thought it would be.

[PFT Commenter]

I saw that.

[Big Cat]

It is so good. It is unreal good.

[PFT Commenter]

It's incredible.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

So in summation. Oh, by the way, Kyle Schwarber interview, which was an awesome, awesome interview. We taped it last week just so everyone knows. It was taped last week. I think everyone saw when he was here with the Cubs. Yeah, do the math. The manager gets fired, but that has Nothing to do with the interview. The interview was awesome, but just wanted to set that. That standard.

[Big Cat]

So is. Is Alex Cora just being a vulture right now? Is he just circling Citi Field?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Is that pretty much his game plan?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I think so. Do you, Max, do you think this is firing. Firing your manager? Do you think it salvages the season at all?

[Max Del Piero]

I mean, it doesn't hurt like. Like when we fired Girardi and brought in Rob Thompson. Whatever year that was, the Phillies went on a run. So you're trying to do whatever you can to spark something in this clubhouse, to turn it around, but, like, it's. I get. I get that it's still only April, but you're nine games back in April.

[PFT Commenter]

Just win it. Win it. Win a. Sweep a series.

[Max Del Piero]

It's tough to win a baseball game.

[PFT Commenter]

I know, but I'm saying if you could sweep a series, you'd feel great. I guess that's all it takes. Sweep a series, I guess. Go out and sweep a series.

[Max Del Piero]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Would you say firing the manager in baseball is. Is the most inconsequential move that you can make in terms of the four major sports.

[PFT Commenter]

Basketball. Basketball.

[Big Cat]

Firing the head coach is less consequent.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. I feel like the manager in baseball, at least, because you're. You're with them every day.

[Hank]

And lineup changes. There's a lot more.

[Max Del Piero]

I think it's more so just like, it changes the mentality of the clubhouse.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

Which is what you need.

[Big Cat]

It makes everybody feel bad that they got their boss.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

It may. It's.

[PFT Commenter]

Yes.

[Max Del Piero]

Yes. Honestly.

[Hank]

Yes.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Like, great job. I hope you're happy with yourself.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah. And baseball is such a mental game that, like, one. One thing like that could really wake up. Wake up a ball team.

[Big Cat]

Do you think that maybe the. The assistant general manager for the Eagles stepping away from the Birds. He's got a new project in mind. You think he wants to go manage the Phillies as a general manager? Am I breaking this news to you for the first time?

[Max Del Piero]

Yes. I don't know.

[Big Cat]

You're talking. Yeah, yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

The Eagles.

[Big Cat]

The Eagles Assistant gm.

[PFT Commenter]

And was he hired. Was he hired when he was, like, 12?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he's.

[PFT Commenter]

He looks young, and he's been there forever, and.

[Max Del Piero]

And I. I don't know if you're with me.

[PFT Commenter]

No, no.

[Big Cat]

Hey, well, I am with you. He has not expressed interest in. In the Phillies job, but he says that he's stepping away from the Eagles for, like, a new challenge.

[Max Del Piero]

Oh, fuck. Yeah. Phil's. That sounds great.

[PFT Commenter]

I got A prediction. I think the Phillies are going to go on a little bit of a run. Look at their schedule. Little bit of a run.

[Big Cat]

Max is out.

[Max Del Piero]

No, I would run. I would like them to. I mean, I'm not saying. I'm not saying the season's over yet, but it's like.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay.

[Max Del Piero]

It's just the team's so old and. And the guys are. Trey Turner has been such a fucking disappointment. Whatever.

[Big Cat]

It's disgusting how you speak about some of these guys, Max.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, it is.

[Big Cat]

It's absolute trash. It's trash.

[PFT Commenter]

Rubbish.

[Big Cat]

Some appreciation. The guy got you to World Series, man.

[Hank]

Fleming.

[PFT Commenter]

In better news, the Flyer. You're still flyered up.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah, that was also tough. Also could be in the midst of. Midst of a meltdown there and fly it up.

[Big Cat]

You should think about reflying from sports because all your teams right now are breaking your heart. Yeah, the Flyers. I don't.

[Max Del Piero]

All four teams have made the playoffs in the past. Calendar. In the. No, not calendar year.

[Big Cat]

Think about this. Think about this.

[Max Del Piero]

In the past year, all four teams

[Big Cat]

have made the playoffs and you lost the press. Icy Lib. Yeah. Lost the press.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Pickensburg was ready to go. We gotta get this going.

[Kyle Schwarber]

We got.

[Max Del Piero]

Pickensburg won't go to Phil.

[PFT Commenter]

I know. That is why I. Pickensburg has to go to Philly.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Like, he has to go to Philly, but also Icy Vert has to, like, after the press off.

[Big Cat]

He's got scoliosis, dude. Two.

[PFT Commenter]

Two out of three. The Penguins have won. You got to shift the momentum back.

[Max Del Piero]

Pickensburg's got to go to Philly for the press.

[PFT Commenter]

I know pickets people are saying Pickensburg loses because he tried to call it forfeit and that he won the second press off. But I don't. I think the second press off has to happen in Philly. Pickensburg shows up and Icy Vert doesn't for game six. Then I'll give it award the press off to Pickensburg.

[Big Cat]

They see the guy with a sign last night.

[PFT Commenter]

What do you say? I don't know.

[Big Cat]

It was just some guy that was holding a sign. I think it came from Pickensburg. And then this one Flyers fan was walking by. He had like a side of the face slash neck tattoo and got in his face. And then the camera just cut away. We don't know what happened after that. But you can. You can extrapolate based on when the camera cut off.

[PFT Commenter]

We also had the meltdown of all meltdowns on Sunday night, which we recorded beforehand, but the Oilers losing in overtime and Whitney Just not understanding how a puck works.

[Big Cat]

All right, he brought up a good point, which.

[Hank]

Which. Which was a throwback to this podcast.

[PFT Commenter]

What? The Parallax Effect.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I told him about that.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I. I had to sit Whitney down. I was like, whitney, I got something for.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, yeah. He tweeted it after. I know. I knew that. I was like, there's no way he came up with this himself.

[Big Cat]

He was tweeting it, like, as I was explaining to him, because he was so excited that he had something that he could fall back on. Now, the Parallax Effect is a real thing in hockey.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

There's a. There's, like, a video that you can watch on YouTube if you. If you look up the Parallax Effect. The only problem with this. And I intentionally didn't tell Whitney this until after he tweeted it out and he got his hopes up. The camera angle that they use where it's just slightly behind the crossbar.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

In the crease. That actually hurts his argument with the Parallax Effect. If it had been an angle that was in front of the goal, then that might have helped him.

[PFT Commenter]

I was watching the game. Max, you were there. Hank, you were there. We were watching the game after we recorded. And God bless Ryan Whitney, because he was. It was awkward being in the room. He was doing a selfie video, being like, how could this be a good goal? Well, all of us are sitting there like, dude, that was definitely a good goal. And I get it. You couldn't actually see it because the skate was above the puck, but everyone who's got a brain was like, yeah, that's a good goal.

[Big Cat]

He.

[PFT Commenter]

And I'm not saying Whitney doesn't have a brain. He literally was just every fan trying to cope in that moment. I. I drove him to his hotel after. It was just like, yeah, man, sorry. Like, that sucks. I think he finally realized he came. Came to grips with. He's like, yeah, that was probably it.

[Big Cat]

Well, you know how you were saying the other day that if you're. If you're crying about unwritten rules, you're the loser. Yeah. After a game. If you've got Ryan Whitney crying about the laws of physics after a game, he's. That's a. That's a losing cope argument that he's got.

[PFT Commenter]

I appreciated his. His. His fervor, though.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

That was. That was exactly what every fan of the Oilers was going through in that moment. Basically screaming about how you can't actually see it, knowing in their heart of hearts that the puck went over the line.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. When Whit is appealing to Neil DeGrasse Tyson, he's lost.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Just count that as no.

[Max Del Piero]

Zach just made a pretty good point back here. Okay, Zach, would you like to share with the class?

[PFT Commenter]

Things did take a turn once you put the jacket back on, people.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no. I just did the Grinch smile.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, no.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Yeah, I did. You said yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

You said you'd never do it.

[Big Cat]

That's brutal. Do what?

[Max Del Piero]

He said you never wear the jacket again.

[Big Cat]

When did I say that?

[Kyle Schwarber]

I don't know.

[Max Del Piero]

Zach told me you said that you'd never wear it again.

[Big Cat]

I don't remember saying that. It felt like it. That doesn't sound like something I'd say. I might have said that. It just felt right. I was trying to support my boy wit when he was in the studio, and then everything just fell apart for him.

[PFT Commenter]

Damn it.

[Big Cat]

Which sucks.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. It was great having Whitney.

[Big Cat]

I'm rooting for him.

[PFT Commenter]

You know, he was when we were watching, because I know he mentioned it on the podcast, but watching McDavid, he pointed it out. I love watching games with guys like Whitney who, like, can explain to you, but he pointed out the exact moment where, like, there was a point where McDavid had a rush, would have probably scored, but didn't have that lateral side, side to side quickness. He's missing a little of that. And he got stonewalled and it's just like, shit. And he's right at that moment when he's like, that's a goal if he's healthy. So it sucks for the Oilers right now. They're in a bad spot. Down three. One. Okay, I guess actually, we already talked about the.

[Kyle Schwarber]

We'll.

[PFT Commenter]

We'll see because we'll. The start of the show. We had to bring that up though. Let's do Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and then let's get to our interview with Kyle Schwab, which was an awesome, awesome interview. This podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully in license in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And our 12 plus years of experience in industry leading match for fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored rex. With over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform. Having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com pmt that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com pmt we also are brought to you by our friends at Microsoft. Before we get into more chaos, we got to tell you about something that helps people focus on what's most important. Microsoft 365 copilot what if you could add an AI assistant to your work without leaving your workflow built into Microsoft Word, Excel and Outlook? Copilot works where you work, helping you do more. In the apps you already use. In Word, Copilot helps turn scattered notes into a first draft. In Excel, it generates insights from your data. And in Outlook, it cuts through the noise to get you up to speed faster. The apps you know go further with Copilot. Learn [e-mail] Work okay. Hot seat, Cool Throne. Hey, before we do Hot Seat, Cool Throne, quick announcement. We are one week away from our live show. Tuesday, May 5th in LA. Go buy tickets. 10 year anniversary. We got Jerry O', Connell, we got Rosilla, we got Blake Griffin. It's going to be a great live show. Come out and hang with us. And we're also going to tell stories about Max's bachelor party because we're not going to be releasing the live show. So we're going to tell some out of. We're going to tell some out of pocket stories.

[Big Cat]

And Max's parents are going to be

[PFT Commenter]

there and Max's parents.

[Max Del Piero]

We still got to fake. No, no, they're not listening.

[Big Cat]

They're going to listen to every everything that's right now. They're gonna know every place that you got rubbed.

[Max Del Piero]

What's that? That every spot is just not every

[PFT Commenter]

spot by Jerry o' Connell is what he meant to say by Jerry o'. Connell.

[Max Del Piero]

Come on, Max, that is just not gonna happen.

[Big Cat]

We should. We actually should do the thing where we put the noise canceling headphones like you see people wear on on game shows when they can't hear the answers. Yeah, they should have to wear those in certain segments.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. And also we have our book, the wheels. I think we have the final day. If you pre order the book and you write, we've tweeted this submission form. We put it on all our social. We'll do it again. If you pre order the Book and prove that you pre ordered the book. You can write a paragraph, and we're gonna pick five people to be in the book. One awl did point out to me, which would have been very funny if we had just done this. And that was the book.

[Big Cat]

Just.

[PFT Commenter]

The entire book was just the awl's writing, like sucking our dicks.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Be nice.

[PFT Commenter]

We just didn't write a word.

[Big Cat]

That been way easier. Saved me about 60 hours in the last week.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. I'll tell you what, though. Pft. Because we were. We submitted our book for final edits. As much as it was painful writing it, because we. We procrastinated severely and we pft. And I wrote basically the majority of the book in the last two weeks. Finishing doing that feels incredible.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

I've had so much free time. And by free time, I mean no free time, but free time where I can just sit and like, watch playoff games and scroll Twitter.

[Big Cat]

No, it feels really good to have it done. I actually didn't mind the process. I. I didn't mind the writing of it. It was mostly just like finding the time and then having that time be dedicated and just doing it.

[PFT Commenter]

Any task in your head. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I like the part of writing. It was. It was cool because I got to think back over the years and remember some stuff and dig into some stuff that I hadn't really considered, you know, since like 2017. 2018. So I. I appreciate that. It actually, like, made me love you guys even a little bit more because I got to go, you know, down memory lane a little bit.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, but it's just more that we're children.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Like I. Any task. Oh, I have to do that, right? Oh, I gotta put my shoes on. No. All right, Hank. Hot sequel.

[Ryan Whitney]

Drunk.

[Hank]

My house is the World Cup.

[PFT Commenter]

Why every.

[Hank]

Just every. I mean, soccer is in general is a joke, but every story that comes out about the world.

[PFT Commenter]

Wait, wait.

[Big Cat]

That the World Cup's in the hot seat because soccer sucks. Every.

[Hank]

Every news story I see about the World Cup, I'm like, yeah, I'm happy. I don't like soccer.

[Max Del Piero]

Okay, also tune into our live soccer stream that we're doing today.

[PFT Commenter]

So not live close to life.

[Big Cat]

Very not live, Max.

[Hank]

Oh, great.

[PFT Commenter]

I knew that not live as possible.

[Max Del Piero]

I knew that it's actually dead.

[Big Cat]

It's deader than the World Cup.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Hank]

Should I set your calendars for.

[PFT Commenter]

No, we should. Not like that, because you get it.

[Max Del Piero]

Okay, fine.

[PFT Commenter]

But, yeah, soccer is a joke.

[Big Cat]

But. But, Hank, I. I agree with you. And this World cup does seem like, it's more up than most, but just when you're going into it, think about the same way that you think of. Like you remember when the Olympics were over in Sochi and when like the World cup was in guitar last time. There is a. There's a big, big audience out there that really wants to hear how shitty everything is about the World cup because FIFA is. They're the most corrupt organization in the world. But also people love to read stories about how bad everything's going to be.

[Hank]

And it seems like everything is, is really bad. They're covering up like the, the. The logos. Like you see Mercedes Benz. Like, they have to cover up the logo on the actual stadium because it's not an official FIFA sponsor.

[Big Cat]

Oh my God.

[Hank]

They're charging like insane.

[Big Cat]

That to me is actually like the one that. I don't care about that at all.

[Hank]

Like, they're char. But the, the charging of like the trains and just.

[PFT Commenter]

Right.

[Hank]

Transportation just to get to the World Cup. No tailgating. Like, going to the World cup is impossible because of the tickets are so expensive. Just everything about it seems like an absolute nightmare. And it seems like day by day there's just more stories coming out. So just in general, yes. Hot seat World Cup. I'm sure more will come up.

[Big Cat]

There will be.

[PFT Commenter]

It's.

[Big Cat]

It is. It sounds like it's gonna be like the least fan friendly possible event that you could ever imagine. I mean, like, I think it's 250 bucks for parking at one of the games. One of them was 500. 500 bucks to park at one of

[Hank]

the games and tailgate.

[Big Cat]

Obviously a lot of the stadiums you cannot physically walk to. Although I did see, and I hope this does happen, I saw like some British fan group saying like, okay, they're gonna charge us 150 bucks to walk. Walk from New York out to the Meadowlands. We can just walk. We can just walk. We're not gonna take the train. It's all highways. I would actually like to see like a big group of British hooligans just

[PFT Commenter]

walking through the tunnel.

[Big Cat]

Just walk the entire highway there.

[PFT Commenter]

Do the. What's that mall called? That mall's sick.

[Hank]

American.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, American dream. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Just.

[PFT Commenter]

Just tailgating an American dream.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I would be sick. Yeah. A bunch of shirtless soccer hooligans just walking the Lincoln Tunnel.

[Hank]

My other hot seat is tiramisu. Oh, I thought this was a cool story. The. In. In the uk, they set the new world record for the longest tiramisu ever made.

[PFT Commenter]

How long?

[Hank]

How long it's like four football fields long.

[Big Cat]

Wait, you mean like soccer or American football?

[Hank]

I believe four pitches long. I talked to our tamisu expert. He said it's. It's kind of record. It's not. It's not actually one big tiramisu. It's just a bunch of tiramisu's next to each other.

[Big Cat]

I think they did this with a cheesesteak a few years ago. Yeah, they claimed it to be a world record, but it's just a bunch of cheesesteaks next to each other.

[PFT Commenter]

I'm not. I'm not a fan of that, of this. I agree.

[Big Cat]

This is not a tiramisu.

[PFT Commenter]

It has to be one long termisu that's connected the entire way through.

[Kyle Schwarber]

So.

[Hank]

Yeah, Hot seat tiramisu.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

You really know tiramisu.

[Max Del Piero]

Hang.

[Hank]

Yeah, I thought, well, I was gonna put it on my cool throne.

[Ryan Whitney]

And then.

[Hank]

And then I talked to the expert and he's like, no, no, no, no, no.

[PFT Commenter]

It's the expert being Shame.

[Hank]

It's a massu.

[PFT Commenter]

It's a massu.

[Hank]

My cool thrones. Young ho.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Hank]

So last year against the Patriots, he had that field goal where he just missed the ball, kicked the ground, didn't make contact with the ball. I think he got injured too. And then a story came out yesterday that there was a man in Kentucky that laughed so hard at the botch field goal, it triggered a seizure which sent him to the hospital. But at the hospital, doctors discovered when they were like going through them, that there was a tennis ball sized brain tumor. And then they were able to, you know, find that, remove it and it was deemed not cancerous. So that missed field goal might have saved a guy's life.

[PFT Commenter]

That is. I love this guy. Laughed that hard.

[Big Cat]

It's awesome. He. Yeah, the field goal was so terrible that, I mean, it was that he passed out.

[Hank]

That funny.

[Big Cat]

And now. Yeah. So now he's got a horse running in the derby.

[PFT Commenter]

Does he?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, the guy that. So the guy that passed out that had the seizure, they found that he had a. A tumor inside of his head. And so now that guy owns a horse. I believe that the horse's name is. Hang on, let me look this up because I was just reading about this. He should name it after.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, name it Amani.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, just coup. What is it? A Further Ado.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. So I believe he. He is a part owner of Further Ado who's running in the Kentucky Derby.

[Hank]

Further A coup.

[Big Cat]

And I think. Yeah, I think.

[PFT Commenter]

Nice.

[Big Cat]

I think Coup Might be going to the Kentucky Derby.

[PFT Commenter]

Hell yes. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

As a colonel, we have the opportunity to. To nominate another. Another person for a colonel ship. I feel like young Hoku.

[PFT Commenter]

I'd agree.

[Big Cat]

Should be a colonel. I'd like to nominate him.

[PFT Commenter]

We have Randy Moss on Friday for all Kentucky Derby stuff, so we'll ask him about this. If the brain tumor guys got a chance in life.

[Big Cat]

It's a good story.

[PFT Commenter]

And also in the Kentucky Derby. Yeah. Okay. Pft. That's it? No, that's it. No, they're hot seats.

[Big Cat]

Anything else?

[PFT Commenter]

No. Other hot seats.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Love.

[Big Cat]

No.

[PFT Commenter]

Live. What about laugh an event canceled?

[Hank]

Postponed, I think. I think it's a city of New Orleans. I mean, the city of New Orleans is. Is. Is known to be corrupt. I think they're taking advantage of lives.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, sounds like it.

[Hank]

Live New Orleans said they're going to cancel the event until Liv figures out their financial structure.

[Big Cat]

Okay. What does that mean?

[Hank]

I don't know, but LIV has already put a bunch of like. They've already spent a bunch of money in New Orleans. Paid New Orleans a bunch of money. It's kind of move from New Orleans.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay, so.

[Big Cat]

Okay, so Liv is. But they're. Again, it's not.

[Hank]

They're saying it's gonna be postponed.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's not. It's postponed.

[PFT Commenter]

You know, some. You know people that live, Right. You have a contact.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

I would like you to start getting. Well, no. I mean, we went out a couple times. I didn't know if that person is still there. I would like you to start getting like, official propaganda talking points whenever we bring up live. I'd like you to come, like, ready to go with the. The live spin on it. You know what?

[Max Del Piero]

It's insane that that live has never paid this podcast.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

The amount of press that we give live is worth so much money and we haven't gotten a dollar.

[PFT Commenter]

Although now maybe not. Because we're just.

[Hank]

NBA has never paid us. NFL's never paid us.

[Max Del Piero]

Like live is not the NBA or the.

[PFT Commenter]

It could be.

[Max Del Piero]

We're the only ones talking about live.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Could be.

[PFT Commenter]

That's not true. You're holding out hope. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I would also say that most of the stuff that we've said about Liv has not been great.

[PFT Commenter]

No.

[Max Del Piero]

We got the number one live fanboy in the world.

[PFT Commenter]

Should be paying Hank specifically.

[Max Del Piero]

Correct. Maybe they are.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. They probably are.

[Hank]

They should be.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay. Pft.

[Big Cat]

Well, Liv should be releasing a statement today. Is there a statement that's out?

[Hank]

Not that I've seen.

[Big Cat]

Well, Hank, so I'm reading this from Nolan News. They reported that Liv postpone the event, not the city. The league notified state officials on Friday. They want to pivot from the June 25 tournament scheduled for city parks, Bayou Oaks golf course, potentially reschedule smaller exposition style tournament this fall. So they're just pivoting?

[PFT Commenter]

Pivoting?

[Big Cat]

It's not even a postponement in June.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, so there's their smart man.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Okay.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Hank]

It's too hot.

[Big Cat]

They're just pivoting.

[PFT Commenter]

Pft.

[Big Cat]

My hot seat is farts. There's a great study that came out yesterday. Let me ask you, if you were to guess.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Would you say that men's farts or women's farts smell worse?

[PFT Commenter]

Women don't fart. Yeah, but. But when women do, they smell worse.

[Big Cat]

What was that, Hank?

[Hank]

Women don't fart.

[Big Cat]

Women don't fart. That's a. That's a fair answer.

[PFT Commenter]

No, women do fart. They just save it up so much that when it comes out, it's gross.

[Big Cat]

Max, what do you think?

[Max Del Piero]

I think that makes sense what big catches said.

[PFT Commenter]

Because I'm farting all day.

[Max Del Piero]

If there's, like this slight inkling of a fart coming from my butt, I'm letting it rip.

[PFT Commenter]

Right?

[Max Del Piero]

Like, if, like, women are like, oh, no, I have to fart. I need to. I need to save every thing in my body to make sure I'm in a good spot to let this fart out.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, they have to go to, like, a hermetically sealed chamber.

[PFT Commenter]

Speaking of. Can I. Hey, can you. You set me up? You know how we have the on air signs outside of the studios? Can you get a fart sign outside of my office? No, because there's times when I have the door closed and I'll just let it rip, and then someone will walk in. I'll be like, don't come in here. I need. I need everyone to know. Come on. Why can't you do that?

[Hank]

You have to get it synced up to your body.

[PFT Commenter]

Well, no, I. There's just a switch, and I'll flip it. I'll be like, I'm about to rip. Oh, yeah. Because I know when I'm about to rip.

[Big Cat]

Or you get a button that just locks your door from your.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Your.

[Big Cat]

From your desk. Like Matt Lauer had one.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Zach, what do you think? Men or women?

[PFT Commenter]

I kind of. I kind of agree with the woman talking. Point of like, they're letting them bake, you know?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

They're almost fine aging them. So when it Rips could be catastrophic.

[Big Cat]

It's concentrated. Yeah. All right. So they did a study on it and. And the results might shock you. Women, their farts smell worse, but they don't let out as much gas per fart. So it's like, super not shocking at

[PFT Commenter]

all for what we said.

[Big Cat]

Well, you were talking about, like, saving it up for a long time.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

When you let it out.

[PFT Commenter]

But.

[Big Cat]

But men, when they fart, when they fart one time, they let out a bigger fart. Women, when they let out a fart, the volume of gas is smaller, but it's super, super concentrated.

[PFT Commenter]

But isn't that. Because also men are just bigger. We're just diesels.

[Big Cat]

It could be. Yeah. Because we got our bodies, like, process the gas, maybe better.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You might say, no, that makes sense.

[PFT Commenter]

But yeah, when a woman farts, it's the most disgusting thing in the entire world. When a guy farts. I. It smells good. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

My farts. My farts are actually the perfect amount of fart. But, yeah, so they did that study and it came out, and now women are trying to. They're calling on the study, basically saying, well, dudes are grosser. They smell worse all day long because they're constantly. All true. Yeah. But your fart smell much, much worse than ours.

[PFT Commenter]

Stop farting. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So deal with it.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Then my cool throne is Aaron Rodgers.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Because he just got. Did he sign the tag thing? No, he's been issued a tag.

[PFT Commenter]

Steelers have issued, like, a right of first refusal where if he plays, he has to play for them, otherwise another team would have to pay more.

[Big Cat]

It's the very rarely used right of first refusal tag on a human.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Basically, they're just trying to make Aaron just say that you're gonna show up. That's really. It's kind of a simple. I mean, it is on the Steelers part. They're. They just want Aaron to, like, issue one statement being like, I plan on playing for the Steelers next year.

[Max Del Piero]

Correct.

[Big Cat]

Then they can forget all this. But yeah, it's a right of first refusal tag where I think it comes with a baked in 10 raise.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

For him. But then if another. Another team can offer him a contract, then the Steelers can say, yes, we'll take it, or, no, we won't take it. It feels like the Steelers are just doing everything, trying to make Aaron, like. Like in the draft, they got another quarterback.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

They just. They just keep doing moves, hoping that he's going to say, correct, yes, I will be your quarterback. All right. You can stop worrying.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Please. Okay. My hot seat is Spotify playlists. Being public, there might have been a Spotify playlist that was sent between two alleged lovers. That was called Turning the Corner.

[Hank]

Turning the Page.

[PFT Commenter]

Turning the page. Allegedly, after four losses by the Tennessee Titans in 2022, this story just will never end. I don't know what else to say.

[Big Cat]

There's a big footprint out there.

[PFT Commenter]

House party, my love. Pump it louder, Raise your glass. Pink. Kind of a shitty playlist. We're being honest.

[Big Cat]

I haven't. I didn't know that making playlists for people was still a thing.

[PFT Commenter]

I didn't either. But it's very funny that this now is another. Another chapter in the. The Rossini Variable lore, as we got shared playlists off of losing streaks. So we do shout out, by the way, David Kavuchi.

[Big Cat]

Oh, it's Foil Ball.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah. FOIA Ball. I don't. It's just like, hat tip, dude. I don't know how you did this, but you did it in hat tip.

[Big Cat]

FOIA Ball. FOIA Ball does good work. Yeah. Go read FOIA Ball every now.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I followed him immediately. I was like, this guy's on to some.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's. I didn't know that.

[PFT Commenter]

That.

[Big Cat]

That you could share a playlist like that or like, create and curate one for somebody. And I don't think I've done that since middle school.

[PFT Commenter]

No.

[Big Cat]

Maybe. Maybe freshman year.

[PFT Commenter]

No. Dance the night Away. Van Halen.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

And then there was. I. Did I see that maybe some of them were confirmed played at a practice.

[Big Cat]

There was a report that on Vrabel's birthday, he had his own special playlist going.

[PFT Commenter]

Was that turning the page?

[Big Cat]

I don't know if it was Turn the Page playlist or not. Wait, is Turn the page on there, Bob Seeger? No, it's not.

[PFT Commenter]

Not a Seeger Bar.

[Big Cat]

I haven't looked this up, but since they didn't put Turn the Page on there, I don't think it can turn the page. I think they lost their next game, too.

[PFT Commenter]

They might have.

[Big Cat]

I don't think that stopped Losing streak. You have to have Turn the Page on the Turn of the Page playlist.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. Okay. So that was my hot seat, my cool throne. I got a couple. One is a clarification.

[Big Cat]

Clarification.

[PFT Commenter]

I don't know if I misspoke, but I had a few people saying, I guess maybe on Monday's show, I said, I opened my roof.

[Max Del Piero]

We said it back here.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

When you said it, we were like, you have a.

[PFT Commenter]

Why don't you guys say anything?

[Big Cat]

Because we're like, dude, how rich is this guy?

[PFT Commenter]

No. So, yeah. Why did you say that's what a producer is supposed to do? But then I clarified the way you said it.

[Max Del Piero]

We were like, holy shit, he's got it.

[Ryan Whitney]

He's got a sick roof.

[PFT Commenter]

Mercy. Yeah, I did. Like, Jim Mercey. People thought I was opening my roof to my house.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Jackie Kennedy did that one time.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. No, I have a lot of people in Chicago. I know. PFT has it, I think. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you have a rooftop?

[Hank]

I do.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I didn't know what I was gonna.

[PFT Commenter]

No, I know. PFT has other people in this office. On top of the garage.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Because we have alleys here in Chicago. On top of the garage is a roof deck with. And so when I say I opened my roof deck, which I should. I think I missed the word deck. When I say that. I mean, I took the covers off the couch and took the COVID off the TV and turned on the tv. That was me opening my roof deck for the spring. And when I say I did that, my wife did all that. So that was the clarific. Clarification.

[Big Cat]

Clarification. Yeah, I. I knew what you meant at the time when I said it. It's like. Yeah. Opening your roof.

[PFT Commenter]

I.

[Big Cat]

When you said I was. Yeah, he means that like, he has mentally allowed himself to spend time outdoors.

[PFT Commenter]

Correct.

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[PFT Commenter]

It was literally turning on the TV for the first time since, like, in. In November. You put the covers on the couch and you put the COVID on the tv and you're like, I'll see you a little bit. I'll see you in a few months, boys.

[Max Del Piero]

Opening the roo. A retractable roof deck would be sick, though.

[Big Cat]

It would be cool.

[PFT Commenter]

Now, here's where it gets a little confusing. I do actually have a perugula, I believe it's called the root. The roof.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

The thing over Pergola. Pergola. And that is retractable. And that I can hit it with a remote.

[Big Cat]

Okay, so you got temporary shade. Yeah, they can be set up and

[PFT Commenter]

it, like, goes like that. You know, like, it doesn't go. It doesn't. It's not two big pieces that go back. It's. It's a bunch of little slits that go like that. You know, I'm saying.

[Big Cat]

Right. Is that open?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I didn't open that.

[Big Cat]

Okay, so your roof's not open.

[PFT Commenter]

I haven't open. I. You know, I'll tweet It like Jim Ursay. When I do open that for the first time, I'll be like, opening the roof.

[Big Cat]

The roof is open, but shade.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You're gonna want the shade.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, dude, dude, listen. There's nothing. I, I, I just can't. If you have an PFT's. Talked about it at length, but, like, being able to watch TV outside just makes you feel like a better human, even though you're doing exactly the same shitty thing that you do when you're sitting inside.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. When I, when I watch like a, a daytime baseball game outside on a Saturday, I feel like I'm going camping.

[PFT Commenter]

I watched the entire World Series on, on my roof deck, and it was incredible. It's like, this is just the best.

[Big Cat]

Nothing like the great.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I'm on a sofa, maybe a hammock, watching tv, maybe get it.

[PFT Commenter]

Maybe get a sweatshirt, smoke a little weed, watch some TV. Like, you know, 9pm Little chill in the air. And you're like, wow, really did it today. Really fucking did it today.

[Big Cat]

So in the great hammock debate of 2025.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. What crap.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Hammock shit.

[Big Cat]

I love hammocks. I went up to my rooftop soccer in preparation for open opening up my roof the other week. I went up there.

[PFT Commenter]

Whoa, dude.

[Big Cat]

I looked at the hammock. Hammock's in bad shape. Hammock. I don't think it survived the winter. I think I might have to. That might become firewood now. Yeah, we might have to sell it for parts.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So Rip might have to get a new one.

[PFT Commenter]

Rip. But yeah, that's, that's just a clarification. My other cool throne is Michael Rubin because he moved his fourth of July party so it wouldn't conflict with Taylor Swift's wedding. What a guy has nothing to do with the fact that a bunch of celebrities wouldn't go to his fourth of July party? And then also maybe he wants an invite to Taylor Swift's wedding. Well, I gotta be honest. I didn't read the article. I just saw that he moved it. What a guy.

[Big Cat]

We know that he's available that weekend.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, exactly. He can't be invited.

[Big Cat]

Michael Rubin. Now, I think his calendar, it is free.

[PFT Commenter]

He didn't want to conflict.

[Hank]

Should we get him to Max's wedding?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Oh, Max, you should probably move yours. You're conflicting with Taylor Swift. You didn't think about that. What if you get invited?

[Max Del Piero]

I don't want to say exactly. I don't want to. They're just stealing my, my whole flow.

[PFT Commenter]

Bar for bar.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah, we Got engaged the same day and we're getting married on the same.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, man. It's insane.

[Big Cat]

Yep.

[PFT Commenter]

You're that much of a Swifty.

[Max Del Piero]

It's, it's

[PFT Commenter]

also cool.

[Max Del Piero]

Although technically I'm stealing theirs because they got engaged before me.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, okay. But it was day after Cool Throne. Also Duke, because Cooper Flag and con Canipple finished 1:2 in the rookie of the year, so they must have won the title last year.

[Big Cat]

Really good team.

[PFT Commenter]

Really good team. Right.

[Big Cat]

Has that ever happened before?

[Hank]

No, they didn't.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, they didn't. What happened?

[Hank]

They lost.

[PFT Commenter]

Did they have a big lead?

[Hank]

I forgot. It was a long time ago.

[PFT Commenter]

Did they make A year ago?

[Big Cat]

Did they make any field goals in the last eight minutes of the game? Surely they made a field goal in the last eight minutes of the game.

[Hank]

Who's to know? Who, who's to say? It's like Will Chamberlain's 100 point game.

[PFT Commenter]

We don't, we didn't have any video of it. Yeah, okay, Go ahead, Zach.

[Big Cat]

But they had really good backup, so the team after they left.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Probably did better.

[PFT Commenter]

Zach. My, my hot sey. This week's going to be a Clay Thompson and Magnus styling because there may be trouble in paradise, I would say.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah. So I read something online and, and apparently this goes back to like a couple years ago. Did Klay Thompson have a cheating book that he would keep, like details of every time he cheated on his girlfriend in?

[PFT Commenter]

I didn't see that.

[Big Cat]

I might have gotten God on that, but it looked real.

[PFT Commenter]

I, I, I have a question, Zach. Megan thee stallion is beautiful woman. Bullshit. That Clay cheated. Is there, how am I gonna say this? Is there any responsibility to have a wet ass all the time? She's saying wet ass, right? No, different. That's not Megan the Sally.

[Max Del Piero]

No, different.

[PFT Commenter]

Different artist. Yeah, that might. That's Cardi B. I thought that was Cardi B.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, actually, yes, I, I, I retract. I apologize for that. You're definitely correct. So a song. Wet ass. Like. Yeah, but that's like if I had, if I had a song, I hit all my parlays, like you would think then I gotta, I gotta hit all my parlays. Right.

[Big Cat]

I think that's also.

[PFT Commenter]

What are you shaking your head, Max?

[Big Cat]

It's also on clay, because if you're Clay, you got. It's your duty to keep that wet.

[Max Del Piero]

This has got Taylor Swift written.

[PFT Commenter]

I'm asking questions. I'm not, I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying make the Stallion again. I'm Team Megan the Stallion. Are you saying.

[Hank]

Because she didn't. That.

[PFT Commenter]

No. If you do have to. If you. If you. If you make the song Wet ass. Does the always have to be wet ass? It's a. It's a. It's a. We're like Plato and Socrates here. We're just asking philosophical questions. It has nothing to do. She doesn't. I don't know. I'm asking. I was just asking.

[Big Cat]

I'm thinking maybe it might be too wet.

[PFT Commenter]

That c. Pft. You're right. That's. That's also what I was thinking.

[Big Cat]

Let's think about this. If it's too wet, maybe Clay can't.

[Kyle Schwarber]

What.

[Big Cat]

What happens to Clay when there's too much moisture? Turns into mud also.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also splash brothers Wet ass. That's just water everywhere.

[Big Cat]

That's a tsunami, Right? That's actually a drowning hazard.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Memes. What.

[Big Cat]

Probably have to put on a snorkeling outfit to go down on it.

[PFT Commenter]

We're just asking questions. No, the. The mud line was good.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, the mud.

[PFT Commenter]

Clay.

[Big Cat]

All right, so, yeah, I did find this. So Clay. There was a cheating diary that Clay kept in 2019. So his ex girlfriend posted this online, and it's just got Clay talking about every girl that he slept with while he was cheating on his girlfriend at the time. And he kept it, like, handwritten.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh.

[Big Cat]

In a journal.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, yeah. So I'm. I'm Team Megan Thee Stallion. I just want that on the record.

[Max Del Piero]

Didn't sound like it.

[PFT Commenter]

I was asking a question. Max.

[Big Cat]

We got to the bottom.

[PFT Commenter]

You can't. You are.

[Max Del Piero]

You were also asking a question when you were. When you were questioning.

[PFT Commenter]

Wrong.

[Max Del Piero]

Yes.

[PFT Commenter]

Wrong. I was demanding. I'm not demanding to see wet ass.

[Big Cat]

I might. So also, let's think about it, because, like, the pussy might have been wet at the time when she wrote wet ass. Pussy.

[PFT Commenter]

Right.

[Big Cat]

But maybe that's on Clay for not keeping that pussy. Wet ass.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. No, this is Clay's fault. We're Team Megan the Stallion. We want to put out a code. Pardon my take. Team megan thee stallion. 100% disavow clay.

[Big Cat]

It's like with. You know, with.

[PFT Commenter]

Unless the one. I can't say it.

[Big Cat]

With great power comes great responsibility. So if you're Clay, you have a. It's almost like you're a custodian of that wet.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, right.

[Big Cat]

Keep it going.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, man.

[Big Cat]

Keep that flowing, Claire.

[PFT Commenter]

He's a weatherman today.

[Big Cat]

Megan, if you want to come on the podcast to discuss.

[PFT Commenter]

We'd love to discuss the intricacies of your pussy.

[Big Cat]

But, like, respectfully and in a. Oh,

[PFT Commenter]

it's all due respect.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I'll do respect in a pro feminist way.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Like, I want you to feel empowered discussing your vagina. Intimate details.

[PFT Commenter]

We're putting all. All due respect is a coverall for everything we just said the last 10 minutes has been under the bylaws of all due respect. We're doing var. All due respect. Okay, Zach, what was your second one? Try not to get us in trouble on the school throne, too. I got you my cool throne. Today is going to be Dave Portnoy because you say he's living his dream. Oh, you got a horse in the Kentucky Oaks. Kentucky Oaks, Yes. Yes. Very exciting. I tried to do a little bit of research. I wasn't able to find any gray that ever won the Oaks and the last grade when The Derby was 2005. So it could maybe be some history in the making. It's pretty nuts. I was talking to Dave about it on Sunday, I believe. But, like, this is why you get in the game. Like, this is the biggest weekend in horse racing outside of, like having a horse in the Breeders Cup. Like, this is it like the Kentucky Oaks. A big, big deal Friday before the Kentucky Derby. It's awesome. So hopefully it wins.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

So it's a dream. Hope we get to see it to fruition.

[Max Del Piero]

Pretty sick.

[PFT Commenter]

Nice suck up there. I can pivot. You guys see the fight with the

[Big Cat]

Rangers fan and the Yankees fan?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Absolute ass kicking. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

High ground wins.

[PFT Commenter]

I agree. I think somebody get hit with a beer bat.

[Big Cat]

That's tough.

[PFT Commenter]

It was tough.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it did. It was like a beat down with the bat where the guy was like on the ground. Yeah. Which honestly, like, it's more emasculating than it is painful beer bat, like it's made out of plastic, so probably doesn't hurt that much. But if you. If you get your ass kicked and then you're getting hit in the face with it with an empty beer bat, it's not good. You just gotta. You gotta crawl away.

[PFT Commenter]

There's no bueno. There's no bueno. No, no, no, no, no, no, no bueno. Is baseball the number one get into a fight in the stand sport? No Raiders games.

[Hank]

Not anymore.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, true. Raiders and Chargers games when they were in San Diego. That would be awesome.

[Big Cat]

I would say just football in general.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But if Eagles games, if you look at like baseball has so many more games during the season, there's probably more fights, a lot more fights during a baseball regular season than football. But per capita. Yeah. You go to an NFL game on Sunday, you're, you're looking at going like eight rounds.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Also baseball, like a lot of games aren't sold out. I feel like if you have the ability to move seats, you're not going to get in a fight. As you know, you're not on top of each other, that sort of thing. Okay, let's get to our interview with Kyle Schwerber. Reminder. We taped it last week when he was in town to play the Cubs. Great, great interview with Kyle Schwerber.

[Big Cat]

Before we get to Kyle Schwaber, he's brought to you by Jose Cuervo. When Cuervo enters, every moment gets better. You find yourself in the center of the dance floor floor. You can't help but stand up and high five those around you at the game. The room reacts like it just got the same text at the same time. You stop checking the time and suddenly small talk escalates to laughing so hard you can barely catch your breath. That is the Cuervo effect signal. Everyone understands a moment that anyone can join. And a good time that just grows with Jose Cuervo and Kyle Schwarber is also brought to you by our great friends at Aura Frames or frames. The best gift that you can get your mom. I got my mom an aura frame two years ago for Christmas. Sits in her living room. She loves it. It's the perfect gift. So this mother's day frame, what makes your mom special? With aura frames, you can add as many photos and videos as you want. You can keep adding from anywhere at any time. Add a message before it arrives. Every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag. Download the free Aura app or text photos straight to your frame. It reached number one in the App Store on Christmas Day in 2025. Make Mother's Day special with Aura Frames named number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the gifts moms love by visiting aura frames.com for a limited time. Listeners can get 25 off their best selling Carver Matte frame with code PMT. That's a U R A frames.com promo code PMT. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. And now here's Kyle Schwarber.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very, very special guest. It's been nine years, but it is Kyle Schwaber back on the show in studio. And in those nine years, I don't think you realize this, that this, this might be the, the Most welcoming interview you'll ever do in your life because you are the most beloved, universally beloved athlete on this show.

[Big Cat]

It's true.

[PFT Commenter]

Because you got Cubs, me, pft, Nats, Max Phillies, and then Hank Red Sox. We're literally the Kyle Schwaber podcast. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

We've been passing you around.

[PFT Commenter]

You. We. You are our fa. Like, everyone, if we have a big fight about something, we can all agree. Well, like, Schwaber's the man.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Well, I appreciate that. And part of it's my fault for stinking for a little bit. But now, you know.

[PFT Commenter]

But get passed around.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. But happy to be here.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I mean, like, it's funny, we were talking about nine years ago that we were just sitting on the table out there in Mesa, right behind the practice field.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

They're talking about it all.

[PFT Commenter]

You were. And you. I remember. I think. I think you were the. We got Theo with the mean tweets. He fell for it, but you didn't, so that was credit to you.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I know. It's great to have you back on. I. I was just gonna ask you, like, if you. If you look at where your career's gone so far and you see those teams, like, and you go to the hall of Fame, are you going in as a gnat or a Red Sox?

[Kyle Schwarber]

That's a great question. First off, I hope I make it there. If.

[Big Cat]

If.

[Kyle Schwarber]

That'd be awesome. Not really banking on it, but.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, you're selling yourself short. Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I mean, I'm just like. Yeah, I'm. I don't know.

[PFT Commenter]

I'm.

[Big Cat]

No, but it's a big cat's point. Like, you are a guy where even though you have been passed around this podcast and we've all enjoyed it, we. We don't want to let you go. Like, I feel like you're a guy that every team wants to stick around, but for whatever reason, you did. Now you've got your forever home. It feels like in Philly, but you're. You're just, like, the funnest player to watch.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Well, that's a compliment. Thank you. I mean, it's. You know, I. I always say, like, I always just try to be me. You know, I'm never. You know, at the end of the day, we get to play game. And I know that there's a lot of money at stake, and there's a. A lot of different things, and we play to win championships. Like, that's, you know, something I learned, you know, from the young age. Right. Like, I'VE never, you know, going and starting in college. Right. Like learning how to win college. Then you get drafted. You know, I make you make the playoffs. Your first year won a World Series. Your second year made the playoffs pretty much every year except one. Like, you know, that's why I play. Yeah, it's, you know, being able to have that World Series in Chicago and to see the, the pandemonium, the madness, the, the parade, this everything like gives you goosebumps and that's what, that's what drives you. And, and you know, even those losses in the playoffs, you know, they doesn't matter what year it is, it hurts just as much as the year before. And that's what keeps driving you to get back to those situations and to get back to those spots. And in the try to see if you can. This, something changes. The next thing you know, you're finding yourself in a position to hold up a trophy again.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I don't think people realize that. You mentioned being in the playoffs every year but one. I was, there's some, there's some Kyle Schwaber stats that are pretty shocking and not like shocking I expected out of you, but when you do like picture the history of the game, you know that you have the most NLCS home runs all time.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's a good set.

[PFT Commenter]

Do you know that you have the most postseason home runs by a left hander? Did you know that?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, I knew that one.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. And Reggie Jackson, Mr. October is second, which is, that's pretty insane. Missed like literally Mr. October. You have five more than him now. That's what pretty good stat. Most postseason leadoff home runs. So. Yeah, you've been in these big games and you delivered in these big games.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, I, I, yeah, I don't, I don't know, man. It's like, you know, that's, I always say postseason baseball is like the most purest form of baseball because no one really gives. Are we allowed to cuss?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, you want.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Okay, perfect. No one really gives a shit bit about if you're hitting.400 or if you're hitting nothing.

[PFT Commenter]

Right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's about, did you win the game at the end of the day. Right. And you know, you play a course of 162 games throughout the year that put yourself in that position. And you know, it's not like we're collecting the paycheck in the postseason. Right. You're playing for something bigger than that. You're playing to be, you know, when baseball games, you're playing to be remembered. And like that's it's such a cool format and, you know, it's a tournament style. Right. It's. It's not like the best team always wins. You know, it's not like the team with the best record is going to go out there and win the World Series. I think that's why it's. It's such a cool thing that you get to go out there and just worry about trying to win a baseball game versus how are you doing right now? How am I hitting? Am I having good at bats? Am I doing this or that? No, it's about like, all right, I just got to figure out a way to try to help. Help us win a game right now.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. How many, how many times when you, when you hit a home run do you know, like, the second it, the second, like you make contact?

[Kyle Schwarber]

I can't say. I would say very high chance, probably like over 95%.

[PFT Commenter]

That's so sick. So it's gotta feel the best feeling

[Kyle Schwarber]

when it's just like, Yeah. I mean, I had one last night, actually. I thought, like, I mean, I stood there, I was like, man, I crushed this ball and like, saw. You know, normally you see the ball get small and it gets small and the wind was kind of. Wind was blowing in and I was like, man, that ball's gonna go out easy. And then all of a sudden, I look at like I'm hitting like the, the jog running, and our first base coach starts giving me the go, go, go. I'm like, what's happening right now? And you know it. They review it. They call it a home run. They review it, call stand. It was going to be a really hard one to overturn. And then I actually had one in Colorado this earlier this year. I mean, I absolutely smoked one. I. I stood up on it, started hitting the jog bat flip, you know, Like, I don't do any fancy bat flip, but, like, you know, it's what I do. And I mean, I was like, guy was like a foot from the wall.

[PFT Commenter]

That's crazy. So it does happen every now.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It does happen. It does. But you know, for the most part, I. I know. And the ones that probably that I think I have, they're more likely than not gonna go out. Yeah, right. Like, I'm not the guy who's gonna sit there and be like, oh, is that, you know, go out, right? Like, no, I'm busting it. But you know, most of the times I really get out my. Ah, that's good.

[PFT Commenter]

It's a no doubter.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I Mean, in addition to all those, the, the postseason stats that Big Cat brought up, also the postseason All Star Game stats. Oh yeah, I don't think those will ever be touched. When they put in the, the rules for the swing off, were you like, well, that's just the Kyle Schwarber show.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, they did it for you.

[Kyle Schwarber]

That was like, you know, the first guy ever not to get a hit in the game.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Then all of a sudden you get a trophy at the end of it. You know, this happened the go 3 for 3 and BP yeah. Like, it was awesome. Like it was a cool thing. Like, it was interesting because so I, I'm going back. So the first All Star Game, I was hurt. I made that was in Colorado. Then I played, I was in LA1 and they ask you like, the manager come up, be like, hey, you know, if we, the game's tied, we're going to do a swing off. Will you do it? You're like, yeah, no problem. And you never really think it's going to happen, right? Doesn't happen in that one. And then same thing, go to Atlanta last year and they ask you again, hey, swing off. You're like, yeah, I'll do it. And you know, you're sitting there watching it and I mean, ninth inning I, I or eighth inning, bottom eight, like, we got a pretty good lead. I'm on deck, three outs. So go in, just go down to the cage, might have had a, had a water or two and you know, thinking like, ah, it's over with. And then you come back out, you're like, bang. Thai Thai ball game. You're getting a bat off World of Chapman. All right, Strap it up here and we don't score. And then it's the, the swing off time. And you're like, you're interested to see how everyone's gonna, you know, do with it. Like is the, the guy is going to be into it and you know, from the get go, right? Like both, both sides came out of the dugout and both sides were into it. The fans were into it. You're like, okay, right, like guys are gonna, guys are gonna take this really well and just happen to go 3 for 3 and got everyone pumped up and yeah, P waiting in the wings who had a pretty good game already and you know, don't, don't have to get to the last hitter. We win it right there. And it was, it was a pretty cool thing. It really was. It, it was right. Like you got Derek Jeter giving you a trophy there at the end day of the right. Pretty cool moment. Never. Never really met Jeter until until then. And, you know, it's something that you're going to be able to tell your kids one day that, hey, you know, I. I got to do that. First one to do it was pretty cool.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It did feel like an event that was built, designed specifically for you. Like, when. When it was like, oh, Kyle Schwarber's gonna be representing his team at swing off. It's like, well, they're going to win. Is that easy? That's what he does.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

That's facts. So the last time we had John, obviously, was after the World Series, and a lot has transpired since then. I do have a question about the ending with the Cubs and, you know, going, you know, to the. The Nats and the Red Sox and the Phillies. Was there a moment where you. Not a crisis of confidence, but you're like, am I. Is this gonna actually work out? Like, is this. Because, you know, in your career, you started as a catcher. Don't. Don't play catcher, play outfield, dh, all this stuff. And then you had the COVID Year was weird. Wasn't your best year. Was there a moment you're like, fuck, is this. Is this kind of it for me?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, you can even go back to, like, 2017 where, so 16, we won the World Series, you know, didn't really. Didn't play, right. Just got to play in the World Series, pretty much had two games, and you're on top of the world. And then you. You come back for that next year, and, you know, your. Your mind's thinking, like, okay, right? Like, I, you know, I still got this, right? Like, just played in the World Series, we won it and didn't have many at bats. I. You know, you're confident, and the next thing you know, you find yourself batting. Like, once, I think I was about, like, 170, I at the point. And I got sent down to AAA the year after one of the world Series. And I was like, man, like, you know, what's. You know, there's a lot spinning through your head, right? And you're like, what's going on? Am I good enough? Am I this? Am I that? And it's just like, you know, my. This is the way my brain works. Just like, well, you know, I gotta get to work here. Gotta figure it out. And, you know, spent like 12 days in AAA and, I mean, spent a lot of hours just early on the field just trying to figure it out. And, you know, I know it's it's a short span, but you know, from winning the World Series to them being a triple A hitting.170 and then, you know, you're trying to figure it out. And then luckily, you know, me and Andy Haynes were down aaa. He was our. He was a hitting coach in Chicago for a while, but he was the hitting coordinator. And you know, John Maley, Henske, you know, they came up with a really good plan, worked it, you know, just kept working, working, working, got back and then. Yeah, you go to 2020 and it's just kind of always been like the, it was, you know, kind of ebbs and flows in my career in Chicago where.

[PFT Commenter]

Right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Wasn't always consistent, wasn't, you know, playing great. And then you get the 60 games. I didn't play good for 60 games at all by any means. And you know, you get let go and your mind starts kind of spinning again. Like, man, like, where is this going to take me now? What am I going to do? And you know, just a lot of different things think because, you know, you're in Chicago, you know, you came up with a lot of great people and now all of a sudden that's going to be taken away.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And you don't know. It's kind of like the great unknown out there.

[PFT Commenter]

And

[Kyle Schwarber]

it just so happened to be like the best thing ever for me where it's like you get that time to kind of. It's a fresh start. Right, Right. It's a one year deal, but it's a fresh start. And I ended up. And arguably probably the best place for me, which was Washington at the time, where it was actually still a really good team. And I got that opportunity just to go out there and play. And I got the, the work with Kevin Long, Pat Rossler, David Martinez was manager, who was my bench coach in Chicago playing with Trey Turner, Juan Soto, Scherzer Strasberg, Ryan Zimmerman, Jordy Mercer, Josh Harrison, Alex, like I can just name all these guys. John Lester, right. Back in Washington that year, just like a unbelievable group. Josh Bell, like I can just keep naming dudes left and right. And that whole, you know, atmosphere, that whole scenario where, you know, I got in with a really good hitting coach, really good hitting coaches, really good staff, you know, really good players. It does kind of put me in that mindset to where. All right, like, yes, I'm getting back to work. And it kind of took it away from yourself. Right, right. The more that you think about it yourself a little bit is when things can really go downhill. Besides when you're really just focusing and buying into everything goes into your team, that, that's when I feel like you're going to get the best out of yourself. Because it doesn't really matter at the end of the day what I'm doing. Like, I just want to win baseball games because I know if we win baseball games that's put, that puts us where we want to be at the end.

[PFT Commenter]

Right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And I got that. And you know, it was awesome. We had a good team and then all of a sudden everyone gets hurt. I, I blew Hammy. I think Trey, Trey might got hurt. You know, we, we were banged up that year and then all of a sudden we, we were literally like four games out of it. And we had this big road trip right before the trade deadline and we're going to play Baltimore before Baltimore was, you know, really good. And we get swept there. We're like, ah, this is probably it, it's probably it. And we go to Philly, like maybe if we sneak out like three of these games in Philly and you know, I got to go back to Washington for MRI on my hamstring, like, yeah, it's about the trade deadline.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

All right. And you know, sure enough Max and Trey get traded. First the la. And then I got a call that night at like 11 o'.

[Hank]

Clock.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's funny, the Cubs were actually coming in town in the Washington and I was going to go see a couple people, I think a couple coaches and I got the call like 11 o' clock at night. Hey, we're trading you to Boston. And like just another great thing that happened to me where just getting traded to a contender team that was in first place at the time and you know, a lot of different circumstances, never played first base before. Going to go over there, stand at first base and. But just awesome time there, you know, we went on a deep playoff run, didn't work out, but then yeah, ended up finding a forever home there in Philly.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

How did you decide on Philly when it came time to it?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, I mean it's like it was kind of easy for me because it's like free agencies. Like it's interesting, right? And this free agency was obviously different than the one previous where you know, you just got got non tendered and you're looking for a one year deal like this. You know, you're gonna go look for multi year deals and everything like that. So you know, you, your agency and yourself, your family, they come up with this list and you're thinking, looking at Teams that you might fit on, right? And you have this big dream that you're like, oh, like, it's gonna work out just like this and never happens that way. And. But, like, the one team that always was on that page and I still got was Philadelphia. And I was like, you look at the roster on paper, you're like, man, like, this is a really good team. Like, it really is. Like, and. And that year in 21, you know, they had Bryce 1. MVP, and they had Wheeler, who arguably could have won the Cy Young that year where he finished second. And it was like, man, like this very interesting team. And have conversations, figure it out. And then it's just like, yeah, like, this is gonna fit. This is gonna work. And then, you know, obviously, there's a lot of different things that have to line up, and you're questioning if it is gonna line up. And then it's like, it's this wildest story. So I got a phone call with date.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, yeah, we're trying to remodel soon. Max won't let us.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Sorry. Yeah, but.

[PFT Commenter]

And Hank, they're pieces of. We literally told them. I'm not joking. We told them, like, these shelves are a problem. Everything keeps falling. And then we have. You guys happy? Schwarber almost got concussed, Max.

[Ryan Whitney]

It's.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's. It's a big, hard head.

[Max Del Piero]

I. I apologize.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay, thank you.

[Max Del Piero]

I'll wear it.

[Big Cat]

Why have you never apologized?

[PFT Commenter]

He was about to tell a great story, and then he got concussed.

[Kyle Schwarber]

But that's.

[Ryan Whitney]

Hands up.

[Kyle Schwarber]

So my wife. We're. So it was the lockout year, and this, like, lockout gets lifted, and we're in March, and my wife's pregnant with our first kid. And so I get on this call with Dombrowski and kind of just lay it out there, and it's like 10:15 at night, and go for, like, you know, 20 minutes, whatever it is, get off the phone. You know, agency's kind of going back and forth, and all of a sudden they call, they go, hey, we got. You know, this is the deal. And I'm like, yeah, we're doing it four for 79. And, you know, bang. About the. Celebrate a little bit.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Life changing money celebrate.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Right? And then not even 30 minutes later, my wife's water breaks.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, no way.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. Thank goodness. I only didn't have. I didn't have too many. So, you know, threw. Threw the bag together real quick. She's screaming at me, why didn't you have your bag ready? I've been Telling you to have your bag ready and, you know, forgot and just thinking about baseball stuff for some reason and throw it back together. We get the hospital, call the Philly. It's like, hey, the, the physical is going to have to wait a little bit. So we go have our first kid. Everything went great, get to Philly. The next, you know, we, we get home, I think we're the hospital for two days, get home. Next day I fly to Philly, physical, get passed back down, spend the day with them, and then I'm in Clearwater the day after.

[PFT Commenter]

That's crazy.

[Kyle Schwarber]

We have a kid without, without them. So it was just a, it was a wild turn of events there, but ended up definitely finding the right spot.

[PFT Commenter]

Shout out your firstborn for being like, I'm not coming in this world unless I'm super rich.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Exactly.

[PFT Commenter]

He's never, yeah. He's never known it.

[Kyle Schwarber]

All the kids have no clue.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Because, I mean, obviously you made money to start your career, but it's different. This is like real money.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. Life changing stuff. Right?

[Big Cat]

You doubled your career earnings, I think, with that first year.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Philly.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yes. That's.

[PFT Commenter]

And your kid was like that. I'm not, yeah. I'm not gonna be broke. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You can definitely wait till after that day and be like that. That is probably the best day of my life.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Exactly.

[Big Cat]

That's pretty cool.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Exactly.

[PFT Commenter]

That's awesome. The. Do you, do you look back at the. I mean, I, I unfortunately hold a lot of like, anger that the Cubs didn't keep you. It sounds like it's actually was like a situation that was better for you long term that you would have maybe not had the same success if you stayed in Chicago. Was it still shocking, though? And I do blame Theo, the video. I, I, I don't know if I ever told the. So, so we have a, a very good mutual friend. And, and you, you reached. What was your, what was the 10 year service time?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

So they did a video of a bunch of people being like, kyle, you know, congratulations, like, on 10 years service time. So I was on it, and at the end of my little part of the video, I'm like, theo, for not keeping you. And literally the next video was just, hey, it's Theo Epstein. It was perfect. It was so perfect.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, man. It was. That was definitely funny. Definitely. You had a big laugh.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You got a big laugh out of the room. But no, I don't, I don't blame him. I don't blame anyone. I mean, at the end of the day, Like, I. And I always tell people that, so. But the shocking part of it all is, you know, I was just going to be going somewhere new. It's just like. It's like, you. You win the. Like, you win. You win the World Series, you have a great group. We always, you know, it felt like family, and now it's just gone. Right, Right. Like, okay, that was shocked apart, but, like, at the end of the day, it was my fault. Like, I had 60. 60 games. I didn't produce in 60 games. And even before that stuff, it wasn't like, I was the most consistent player ever. And there was a lot of good memories. Right. And for me, it's like, you know, Chicago is a big foundation of, you know, what I am now. But. And there was a lot of lessons learned in my time here and being able to move forward and do all that stuff, all this. All this cool things that I've been able to do in my career. It's been awesome. But, no, there's no grudges. Hold grudges. You know, like I always say, I think, like, the more shocking thing was just like, you know, all those. All the other guys were gone.

[PFT Commenter]

It's crazy how quickly it all kind of. And it also is crazy looking back and being like you're. You're the guy left standing in a. In a weird way, like, you're, you know, your career and what you've done, and since then, it's been insane.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, for. For me personally, it's like, you know, I just found the. Found the stride and just been able to keep going with it. And, you know, I know there's, you know, looking at a lot of other guys who have left, and you look at Javi. Javi's, you know, getting stride over there in Detroit, which is awesome.

[Hank]

That is awesome.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like, that guy's one of the most electric players in the game when he's going. You know, Chris is obviously dealing with a lot of different injuries, and it's this. You want him, you know, it's. It's. You just want the best for that guy. Right? Like, you don't want anyone being hurt. Like, I hate the hurt factor.

[PFT Commenter]

It's terrible. It sucks what's happened to his career. I. I had a question about Javi. I have a theory that, like, in every team sport and baseball's, you know, one of them where you. You need at least one guy like Javi who's, like, maybe gonna. To do something that's not the most fundamentally Sound baseball move. But it also is like, you need someone who's kind of got that energy that will, like, charge the team every now and then. You can't have more. You can't have too many of them. But that role is a specific role that Javi played so well.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I mean, Javi is like. I mean, those years that we got to watch him where it was like MVP caliber player.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Outrageous. It was awesome. Is like the. He's like the best instinctual player on the field I've ever seen, you know, not even just like when it comes to hitting and fielding, like the base running.

[PFT Commenter]

It's crazy, right?

[Kyle Schwarber]

His base running is outrageous. And everyone wants to talk about, like, fundamentally sound like, watch this dude run the basis. Watch his turns. Watch how he goes first to third. Like, that's fundamentally sound like, this dude. Like, I remember watching him, we were doing a base running drill and he's talking about like, hey, like, yeah, we always hit the inside part of the bag. But like, when I hit the inside part of the bag, I'm trying to go like, direct line step the second base, like, take away that big, you know, you. Yeah. Big loop from running. I'm like, man, like. And it doesn't make so much sense. Like, the tags, right? Like, it's the best tags in the game. Yeah, yeah, right. Like slides. The slides. Amazing. You know, obviously makes sick plays. You know, hits pretty cool ass homers. Right? Like, you see him hit 100 at his head, you're like, whoa.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. The fundamentally sound was probably more the. The at the plate, whatever, right?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like, that's baseball, man. Like, that's the best thing about baseball is that there's. You're not going to have a lineup of the same people.

[PFT Commenter]

Right?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Right. Like there's going to be. You need that diversity in your lineup and that's, you know, that, you know, Javi, sure. Like, he might swing at a breaking ball that was off the plate and whatever, but also too, he might just touch the breaking ball that. Under the zone by a good mountain. Poke it out the center field. Yeah, right. Like, or he hits a, you know, like I said, the 100 ball above the zone by this much and it's gone. And you know, that's. That it was just, it was just so much fun to watch that dude play baseball. And I'm excited to see him, you know, get financed right. Again. He was back in the All Star game last year and, you know, they're, they're finding their way in the postseason. Like, and I know when he's in that environment, like, and he's in those postseasons. He's driving.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. That was the nicest way to say, I'm a fucking idiot. I appreciate that so much.

[Big Cat]

I think he was doing the.

[PFT Commenter]

That was such a nice answer.

[Big Cat]

If you know enough about the game of baseball, he actually is funny.

[PFT Commenter]

You just, like. So you just dunked on me with a nice smile and then picked me up off the floor, and you're like, here. It's okay.

[Big Cat]

Who would you say? Because I. I think you probably played with the two best sliders in modern baseball. Trey Turner, I would say.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

And. And Javi. So which one of those two is a better slider?

[Kyle Schwarber]

I don't know. That's a great question. Great question. It's a. It's. It's probably, like, that could be, like, a really good poll debate. Like, Trey looks like Legolas, you know, like Lord of the Rings. Like, when the. The dude's just walking on top of the snow when everyone else is, like, knee deep. That's what he looks like when he runs. And when he slides, it looks like he's, like, hovering above the dirt. And then he, like, there's that cool slide where he had slicked. It was against the Phillies, I think it was in, like, 21. He slides in the home plate, hits, like, a stand up back turn. It looked like he was doing a little moonwalk, like.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Michael Jackson moonwalk. And I was like, what's that like?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah. How can I move what?

[Kyle Schwarber]

I'm used to sliding. It hurts.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, right, right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like, this dude doesn't feel anything. Yeah. They're going, ooh, replace your divot, please. Yeah, right. Like, but, like, when he does it, it doesn't even look like it hurts. Yeah, but, like. And I mean, Javi, too, man. Like, Like. Like, just, like the insane swim moves.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. When you do the fake out, when you pull his arm back.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. I tried that once and almost blew out my left shoulder. Never doing that again. Never. I'm going feet first in that bag, and if I'm safe, I'm safe. If I'm out, I'm out.

[PFT Commenter]

That's perfect.

[Big Cat]

Is it okay if we talk about maybe a not so great memory for you?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Which one?

[Big Cat]

So in the World Series against the Astros,

[Kyle Schwarber]

we're gonna get. Yeah, let's do it.

[Big Cat]

I have an important question for you.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, this is an important question.

[Big Cat]

Did you guys. Did you guys get no hit against the Astros?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, I thought we were gonna go somewhere, but, yes, we did get no hit.

[PFT Commenter]

So The Nationals threw no hitter.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. So it was combined no hitter.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. You're gonna have to put the headphones on. We've had a lot of fights about this.

[Big Cat]

This is a ongoing debate. We think that you guys got no hit. Since you guys didn't get any hits that day.

[PFT Commenter]

Max thinks that's not a no hitter.

[Max Del Piero]

Combined. No hitter is not combined.

[PFT Commenter]

But you. But. But did you get. You guys didn't get a hit, right?

[Kyle Schwarber]

No, we didn't get a hit.

[PFT Commenter]

Right. So that would be a no. Another way to say it would be no hitter.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, but it was a no hitter.

[Big Cat]

But it was combined.

[Max Del Piero]

Like, combines don't count.

[Big Cat]

Max tries to call it. He says it's a zero hitter.

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah. Because it's not a real no hitter. A no hit. Like, it's not.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. I mean, this is when we have

[PFT Commenter]

our guest on and we just do an argument we've been having for five years in front of you.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You know, it's not the traditional. You know, when people think of no hitter, you know, people think of the starting pitcher going out there and going all nine without giving a hit.

[PFT Commenter]

Right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Giving up a hit. But also, too, it's like, you know, you ever played the game, like, immaculate grid.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Right. Like when it says, like, no hitter.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You can put in like a reliever.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

That was a part of a combined no hitter.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That's what we go.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And so, like.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I mean, it. It was a no hitter.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. You got no hits.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It was. We got no hits.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Right after we just went out there.

[PFT Commenter]

If you had gotten one hit, it wouldn't have been a no hitter. I'm sorry, Max. If you realize that if they got one hit, why.

[Max Del Piero]

Why are you saying it to me?

[PFT Commenter]

Because you're the one that's denying it.

[Big Cat]

Everybody else is like, yeah, it's no hitter, dude.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Even the guy who's playing in the game says it was a no hitter. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

This is tough. This is.

[Max Del Piero]

This is. This is tough for my argument right now.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It was. Yeah. That was unfortunate. Or. I actually thought you were going to go with that question. Was me trying to bump with two strikes.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh.

[Kyle Schwarber]

In the World Series? Yeah. I don't even know if you.

[PFT Commenter]

That's a good.

[Max Del Piero]

That's a good question.

[Kyle Schwarber]

If.

[Max Del Piero]

If you would like to ask that question to yourself.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I would. I would hate. What were you thinking when you already hit a home run in the game? Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Great question.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And it's in the what eth. Inning with two strikes against Brian Abreu. Why'd you bunt and foul it off straight back and walk back the idiot like a dugout, like. Or walk back to the dugout like an idiot? Well, good question. You know, in the moment, if you go to the high home feed, you know, we could pull it up. It'd be great. You know, the going up. Pretty nasty guy didn't see it. Great. And I'm like, man, you know what? Like, all I gotta do is just touch this ball. I just got to touch it, put it in fair. Fair territory, get the first base, the shift on, right. Yeah, yeah. The shift was still a thing. We. I think we were down three. Yeah. And with two outs. And I'm like, Reese is swinging it in all reality. Terrible idea. The worst idea I've ever had. I think there's been a. I mean, like, this is the best part. Like, I. I love, like watching all the things I screw up on. I love laughing at it because I'm just like, what am I doing? Yeah, like, what. What was I thinking? Why did I think that was a great idea right now to do that? And it was a terrible idea. Like, Astros fans still like, wear me out about it.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like going like you threw in the towel. Like. No, I wasn't throwing in the towel. I was trying to find a way on base. Let's try to get on base for this two run homer. But like, it just didn't work out. And it was a bad idea at the time. Or in all reality, bad idea. But it was a great idea in my head in, in that moment until it didn't work out.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. If we're doing bad ideas right now, do you want to do the same? You want to do the same question to yourself. Why you dove for the ball Will Wilmer Flores hit in the 2015 NCS?

[Kyle Schwarber]

There's a lot of those.

[PFT Commenter]

That was a bad.

[Kyle Schwarber]

A lot of them, man.

[PFT Commenter]

I was the bleachers for that game. And I think it was. I think it was game four.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Talk about a. Talk about a fun place to learn how to play.

[PFT Commenter]

The outfield kept on going forever and I was with Dave and KFC. KFC's A. A die hard Mets fan. And they just both looked at me because it was game four. Is like, what was that? I was like, listen, yeah, I still love the guy.

[Kyle Schwarber]

There's a lot of bad.

[Ryan Whitney]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I mean, hell, I had a double air.

[PFT Commenter]

That had to be the worst feeling though, to have the ball just keep going.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

I think you got to fake an injury next time something like that happens. Like I know you don't play the field, but, like, that's. That's a total fake an injury, because then people can't be mad at you. Like, if I were in your shoes in that spot, I'd get carted off. I would. I would just be like, I'm so injured.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, man. So, like, dude, there's so many different places. Great. So a lot of people don't know this. So Lester's last start in Chicago in 2020. So Rizzo's like, dude, we gotta. We gotta do a video for this guy. And we talked about it, and, you know, they got. They got their. Their podcast going out with 10 years, but.

[Ryan Whitney]

And

[Kyle Schwarber]

so Riz is like, man, we gotta. We gotta do this. This video for him. And he goes. And he go. And he does, like, the light bulb clicks off in his head. He's like, I got it. I'm like, what is it? Tell me it's something good. He goes, we're gonna make a video of you making errors, diving around everywhere, not catching balls, and we're just gonna have them cut to John, and he's gonna have the ass. The. You know, just yelling, yelling everything on the mound looking at you like, what are you doing? Like. So we ended up getting this video all cut up, you know, like. And don't get me wrong, I made plenty of airs for John out there. And, you know, it's great. Like, there's the ball. Like, Curtis Granson. There was a ball like. Like, it was an April Christian yellow smokes one that I'm like, man, this ball is going to be, like, close to the wall. And like, all reality and the wins is howling. And all I had to do was to stand where I was at. I would have caught the ball. I'm running back. Oh, no, you'll slam the brakes on, come back in, clank. I face hits the ground. Like, what. What am I doing? You know? Then, like, the best. Like, truly the best error I think I've ever had was. I think it was Pierce Johnson's debut, and it was against Milwaukee in 2017. It was, you know, great time. Just punch right in the dick, you know, like, you stink. Like, I'm stinking personally. And you're going out, though. It's pouring on us and the wind howling. It's like, Gus, everything. It's pouring on us. So ball gets hit up in the air. I just come running in and Javi's playing short. And Javi's like 10ft, 15ft over here, and the ball is going to be like, over here. And I'm like, well, looks like I got to call it. I go, I got it. I got it. Put the glove out. Seeing, like, three balls, I'm like, please choose the right one. Bang, clank. Nope, didn't choose the right one. Ball rolls on the dirt, on the infield dirt, and it's first and second or maybe. Yeah, I think it's first, second, or got him first. And like I said, it's pouring, so it's like a. It's like a mud bath out there. And I pick it up, bare hand. I hit like the Superman, like, flip play. Gonna be a nasty play. If I would have hit him in the chest, I threw it in the right field. Just pandemonium, snowball fight. People running all. All around the place. I get up. I mean, I am drenched in mud. Like, just, like ultimate defeat. And the best part about the whole thing is, like, right after that play, umpires go, put the tarpon. Put the tarpon. I'm like, I'm fuming. I'm fuming. I'm like, you kidding? I did all this. I just did all this for you to pull the tarp now.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, I'm watching.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I'm going back. And I go back. It's the best thing ever.

[PFT Commenter]

The flip was going to be nasty. Oh, and you're so muddy. You're so mud.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's. It's like, I'm like, I. I mean, I'm like, I'm going to have to get a new uni or, like, go back out for the resumption of this. And, I mean, I'm sitting. I go. I'm yard sale and throwing my glove, whatever. I get in, sit in my locker. I'm like, man, I feel like I got, like, 40 eyes just looking at me right now. There's not even 40 dudes in this room. And I just happened, like. I'm like, all right, enough. And I just look over and Rizzo's just side eyeing me, and he just breaks out and laughter. I'm like, oh, thank God. Oh, yeah. Thank goodness someone laughed.

[Ryan Whitney]

Oh.

[PFT Commenter]

Having to go in the dugout after. After. On a rain delay after that error. That's brutal.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. Yeah, that was. That was a low point. Yeah, it was a low point. But, you know, it's like, in all reality, right? Like, I. That's why I think it's great. Like, I can. I love looking back, and I love laughing about it because it's like, you know, it's baseball. It's baseball, dude. Like, you know, I. I Mean, I messed up up.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And it's funny. Yeah, you know it's funny. Yeah, it's funny. I messed up. It's not funny in the moment, but, like, the more that you. You learn, you learn in your head to, like, not beat yourself up and to keep, like, just replaying it, replaying it, replaying it, right? Like, the beat now to, like, just now where I'm at, it's like I've learned just to be very objective and, like, how I think, right? It's like, how, okay, why'd I mess that up?

[Max Del Piero]

Right?

[Kyle Schwarber]

And then, okay, how am I going to be better off for it? Just, like, being at the plate. All right. Like, you know, there was a span last year where I was literally. I think I was over 20 last year, over 21. And I don't even think I could be. I could be mad. Like, I was swinging at the pitch, so I think I should swing at taking pitches. I think I should take hitting the ball pretty hard. There's a couple of bats in there, sure, whatever. But, man, I don't even think I can be mad at myself. And then next game, go out there and hit four homers.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like, you know, it's. It's just like the nature of the beast. And the more that you can kind of like, stay objectively, objectively in that mindset besides this really, you know, beating yourself up from the inside that the game, you know, one, it becomes easier to play, right? Because there's plenty of times from the inside, I was just beating myself up from the inside where I'm just like, man, you know, I stink, whatever it is. And, you know, the doubts start creeping in versus, you know, now it's just like, okay, like, you got to learn. You got to learn from your good days. Got to learn from your bad days, especially your bad days. And how are you going to be better off for that moving forward?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Do you think you're a good perspective?

[Big Cat]

You think you're ever going to get a chance to avenge your at bat against Kyle Williams, though? The position player on the Braves struck you out.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, Luke Williams. Yeah, Luke Williams. Yeah, he former Philly, too. I had spring training with that guy.

[Big Cat]

He gassed you.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, dude, he gasped. That thing. I mean, it was like, probably 67, 72 maybe. Yeah, it looked like 105. It looked like 105.

[PFT Commenter]

Dude.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I'm telling you, any painted it. And I'm like. I'm, like, thinking I'm gonna be swinging a pitch like, this far off the plate away because like, there's no way he's gonna throw inside right here.

[PFT Commenter]

Right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

He's just gonna, you know, And I'm like, I just gotta protect from the umpire trying to, you know, punch me out. First off, I shouldn't be in two straight count against the position player. What am I doing? Right.

[Big Cat]

And well, the cut that you took on when it was 0 and 1. I remember the, the second pitch you tried to hit that ball 600ft. Like, I've never seen you swing harder. And he, he got you with an es on that one one. Oh, it was like 55.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And it comes back gas inside.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. I got a really weird thing against position players. It's, it's, it's so interesting. Yeah. I just, I stink.

[PFT Commenter]

The pressure's got to be because stink.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's not even me thinking about, like, I better not strike out here. It's just like, dude, I've tried everything. I mean, everything. I'm like, I'm gonna, you know, be flat. I'm gonna catch out front. I'm gonna let it travel. I'm going to swing up, I'm going to swing down. Just never works. It always is the same thing. A sky high pop up.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Right to the left fielder.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Always a sky high pop up or a sky high pop up in the infield. And I mean, even like go back to that four homer game. I had a chance for a fifth off position player.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And whole stadium's up there cheered and I'm like, I'm like, all right, like, this is the time to do it. This time we're going to break that. You're going to break that. You know this little run you got of not hitting a homer even really having a head off position player. Nope. Sky high. Sky high. Five on the left field again.

[PFT Commenter]

Well, all right. So we, we did some bad memories. What are your top three postseason home runs?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, man.

[PFT Commenter]

Because that, I mean, you've had so many.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

And so many awesome ones.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. I, I would say number one, probably the, my first one in the wild

[PFT Commenter]

card game in, in Pittsburgh. Suck my dick, Pittsburgh. When he yelled that in the tunnel. I don't know if that's true, but I've heard that.

[Kyle Schwarber]

No, I don't think I did that one. I don't think I did.

[PFT Commenter]

Said you were so jacked up, you went in the tunnel and just started screaming to yourself, maybe, I don't know, maybe that ball a mile. It was a tank.

[Ryan Whitney]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I mean, it was like, it was just like so, like backstory, preface it was like Lariano, it was Larano. Cole that year were like the one two, and Cole's obviously the one. He's, you know, first round pick, you know, Pittsburgh guy who got drafted by the system. And Lariano is free agent, whatever, and he's just having a good year. And I think he pitched unbelievable against us that year. And they had like two lineups for us because they didn't announce he was starting. You know, I'm playing against Cole. I'm not playing against Lariano. So you're kind of just sitting there staring at your phone, waiting for them to send out the who's starting and you get the text and it's Cole. And then it's like no sleep. I'm like, I'm just sitting there in this. In the Fairmont, like. Like what's about to happen? You know, what's this game going to be like? You know, first play, whatever, and then, you know, get a base hit first the bat. And it's like I just like replaying the bat. I just remember. So Dexter steals second base on the first pitch. I'm like, in all my mind, I'm like, I'm just going to get him over a third base and I swing over a couple sliders and then all of a sudden he threw me heater away and I poked it down the left field line. So I'm going in my second about. I'm like, I'm.

[Ryan Whitney]

I'm.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I got it. Like I'm sitting on a slider right here. I'm just gonna sit on a slider, this whole bat and I get like, heater, ball, change up ball, heater right down the middle. Two, zero, strike. I'm like, oh, man. Like, I took a heater right down that middle. I hope he doesn't think I'm sitting on a slider right here, but I'm like, I'm staying with it. Then bang, slider. Homer crushed it, right?

[Big Cat]

Crushed it, I think 450ft.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. In the water. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

So that was cool. And I think you can't not say the, the Budweiser, the moon ball.

[PFT Commenter]

I was at that game.

[Kyle Schwarber]

That's a cool one.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Against the Cardinals.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, my. I mean, a couple in Philly where, you know, like the. The World Series, like, I would say just Verland after. No hitter, right? Like, you know, there's. It's a little rum, you know, little tents, whatever it is, right. We just went from homer fest in game. What was that? Game three, I think. You know, we were hitting the colors. And then we go game four, no hitter, then game five. You know, you lead off the game with a homer. Like, that was pretty cool. Yeah, like that, that was pretty cool. But. And then like, I grand slam in Boston, three zero, you know, felt like that place was gonna fall down. That was pretty cool. And obviously another one too. Like the one in San Diego where when we were at the Phillies, hit it all the way in that upper deck up there. Yeah, that was pretty, Pretty awesome.

[Big Cat]

How big.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Pretty cool.

[Big Cat]

How big did the ball look during the four homer game?

[Kyle Schwarber]

It looked good. It looked good. Yeah. It wasn't speeding up, you know. Yeah, it was weird because it's like, you know, like I said, going back over 20. It was funny. Bryce, we're down in the cages and, you know, Bryce. Yeah, we always, you know, we're always talking crap in our. In our locker room. And he goes, man, I didn't realize you were over 20. Right before the game. I'm like, yep. Oh, for 20. He's like, man, I didn't really. He was like, man, I didn't realize you were going that bad. I was like, yep, you know, sure enough, homer versus Patty. Go.

[PFT Commenter]

See, Told you.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You know, this mess around with each other. Then next one guy hangs a curveball, hit it down, and then third one poke it out the left. And then the fourth one was a former teammate, Wander Suero. I played with him in Washington. And I remember, I'm like, man, I'm just gonna take one. I haven't seen him in a while. He throws me a pitch I should have hammered. And I was like, man, that was the one. And it's like the, you know, get the two strikes and the way the mind works, right? It's like I'm, you know, you're not even thinking about a home run, right? You're just thinking about, like staying. Staying through the middle field, whatever it is. And you get a change up and you stay through it. It. And it goes, you know, besides, like, if I'm up there. And then you go to that fifth at bat or the sixth of bat, technically off the position player. You're like, in your head. You're like, man, I gotta hit a homer. Pop up left field.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Like, you gotta have just a regular Joe, like an average dude that throws you batting practice occasionally. Get Max to do it. He'll do it.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, I was trying it all down there. I was like, hey, guys, throw me a lot balls. Yeah, in the cages I'm throwing me some lob balls. I'm Gonna get ready for this. Yeah, I'm doing it. I'm doing it because my dumb self asked, how many people have hit five in a game before?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And it was just like, complete silence. I was like, ah, okay.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

You're on the precipice of history.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's just the question.

[Ryan Whitney]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I mean, I'm sure that that history, if that did happen, that would have been. There could have been an asterisk by it just because it was off.

[PFT Commenter]

No, no, absolutely not. No way.

[Big Cat]

Listen, if there's no asterisks next to a no hitter that was thrown by, you know, combined pitchers, then no. 5 home runs off a position player, that counts. I'm sure Max has, like, a million questions. They're probably.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Come on.

[Big Cat]

You ever watch the Chris Farley show on SNL where it's just like, hey, you remember that time that you hit that home run? That was awesome. As a question. That's probably what these are going to be like.

[PFT Commenter]

I mean, that's been the whole.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

So much. So.

[Big Cat]

Fair point. Again, Max, I'm sure you had a million questions.

[Max Del Piero]

I got a couple.

[Big Cat]

Not, Not.

[Max Del Piero]

Not too many. I don't want to take up too much of your time. So you've had a couple runs here in Philly, a couple playoff runs, and there's been a couple, you know, different expectations going into each year, different vibes going into each year. It does seem like the best run that we've gone on was 2022, when we didn't have. Have the highest expectations compared to some of the other years. Like, how does that, like, affect, like, the ball, like, the locker room, like, going in. Because there was something about that 22 team that felt different.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, I mean, that's a. That's a great question.

[PFT Commenter]

Great question.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Going back to 22. You know, I don't. I think that the. The expectation wasn't there from a fan base just because the year previous it was. You know what I think it was? What, 81 and 81.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Not great. And coming into that spring training, you looked around, you're like, man, we got a good team and no one. No one knows it. So, like, they expect the expectations already there in the. In the locker room. And there was a lot of different things that we had to fight through that year, too, where, you know, scarab breaks, breaks thumb harp. You know, he tours towards Tommy John, and then he also came back and he got hit. Broke his. Broke his thumb that year, too, and miss some time and a lot of different things that we had to fight through. But then, like, we knew, like, in the back of our heads, we're like, man, like, once we get the full strength. Because I even think Wheeler started late too, that year, and maybe Ranger got hurt. We were just in the back of our heads going, man, like, once we get the full strength, like, watch out. Like, watch out. And we get the full strength. And it was funny. Philly story. He was awesome. So that year, I think we. I forget where we were. It was near the end of the year and we come. We're coming off a road trip for our last home stand before we go hit 10 games and I don't think we finished. I think we might have got swept on the road and, you know, we're all pissed off, whatever it is. And we land in Philly or get on the buses and it's like three in the morning and we see like. So we pull out this gate and we see someone standing right there and like, man, what is this? And then all of a sudden, this dude, this whips out a sign, holds it up, says, like, same shit every year. We deserve better. This Guy waited till 3am for us to get back just for that. Like. Like we all. All laughing like it was. It was. It was funny. Yeah, it was funny. You know, then we. We play the home stand, whatever, and we go on the road again. It's ten game road trip. Go to Washington. I think we lose. Like, lose the first one. I think we ended up winning two out of three. Go Chicago. We didn't play good in Chicago, but, like, there was a race between like the. I think it was the brewers in us, and Miami is out of nowhere. This gets hotter than a Piston and they start beating the brewers. And we're like, man, we got a chance. And then we get the Houston, you know, shocking. We play Houston last series of the year and ended up playing them in the World Series. And all we had to do was go win one game, win that game, and, you know, we were like, all right, here we go, you know, on the. On the St. Louis. You know, go win the first two there. Then we're on the Atlanta. You know, Atlanta, I think just won the division. You know, we, you know, it feels like we always played them tough. You know, it's always close games. Then we go in there, we win the first one, then we come back home and like, funny, like, cool. Cool moment, right? Like, so we went to the Eagles home opener that year and we're like, man, this place is a mad box. It's crazy. It's unbelievable. Like, the electric atmosphere. And we come back off the road, and it was almost a month that we were on the road, and then it's like, we step out. You know, obviously, we're all excited. We got the postseason stuff going, flying around. We're taking bp everything. And then it's time for the intros. And we go out there and we're like, whoa, it's like an Eagles game in here. This is awesome, right? Like, this is. This is amazing. You got the whole stadium that's killing dudes, killing dudes from Atlanta. You know, like Ozuna steps at the play. You got the whole stadium going up there saying what they're saying. Like, like, like, it was like, you're like, whoa, this is awesome. And, you know, this. We. We're playing great baseball. We win that series, you know, San Diego go out there, you know, split, and then we're like, we're just not, you know, we're. We're telling ourselves, we're like, we're just not going back to San Diego. You know, like, we're not going back to San Diego. And, you know, we didn't. Bryce sits at homer, like, wow, what a moment. Like, yeah, that's like. Like probably one of my favorite moments of just sitting there, just watching baseball where it seems, like, cinematic kinda, right? Where, you know, we're all this. We're all, you know, on the top rail, right? And it just feels like it's something. Something's gonna happen, you know, like he's, you know, he's not gonna get out, but you don't know it's going to be that. And the ball leaves and then it's like drizzling on us. Like, it's so up that game where, like, it felt like it started raining on us, but it only rained on us when we were pitching. Like, Sir's out there getting soaked. Like, you know, he. He's got no grip on the ball. He's throwing things all over the place. Can't find the grip. Then it was the stop raining when they're pitching. We're like, what's going on here? But, you know, then it starts drizzling again when we're going and we get this rally going and Harp this, you know, hits this ball. Cinematic feel, and you're like, whoa. And the whole stadium just erupted. Red on the seismic. Like earthquakes. Yeah, Right. Really cool moment, but, like, the answer to the question. Expectations always there for us. Like, we know the group that we have, and we know what we're capable of doing and you know, sure. Like, you know, the start this year off right. It hasn't been the greatest start by any means, but also too, it's like there's the. You have to keep a perspective in your head of, okay, like, just because we haven't started off great doesn't mean that we don't have a good team. Right. It doesn't mean that we own a great team. Right. Like, you know, rocky roads, whatever it is, you just got to keep your head down, keep fighting, taking things on the chin. And there's going to be a light somewhere down at the end of the tunnel. You just got to find your way there. You know, you got to keep going. You got to keep playing. It doesn't mean that we quit, we're never quitting. Where it's not like the, the sense of urgency that's always there. It doesn't matter. I said it doesn't matter. If you're, you're on a 20 game win streak, you're off on a 20 game losing streak, there's always a sense of urgency because there's a game to be played, played tomorrow.

[PFT Commenter]

Right?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Right. Like, and it's, you know, our sport's so unique where we play so many of them and we play them on a, on a pretty much a daily basis. And you know, the, the, the, like the roller coaster effect that we say, like, you know, don't, don't ride that roller coaster because that roller coaster could be dangerous, man. Where, you know, for, for a player where it's just like, if you're going good, right, don't get too high because, you know, next thing you know, be up for 20.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You know, or you're for 20. Don't get too low. This quote, the best quote, Reese Hoskins. Let's make it to the box. There's always a chance. There's always a chance if you make it to the box.

[PFT Commenter]

I like that.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Right. Like. So don't get too high, don't get too low. Keep going. Keep your heads down, Take it on the chin. But just know that, that the, the work that we keep putting in on a daily basis is going to translate. It's going to translate. And the next thing you know, don't let the fills get hot.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah. There you go, Max.

[Max Del Piero]

Let the fills get hot.

[Hank]

I love that.

[Max Del Piero]

So we feel, we feel we're going to bounce back this year.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yes. All right.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

Phillies fans would have.

[Kyle Schwarber]

This is not over.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

It's early.

[Max Del Piero]

It's early.

[Big Cat]

Let's get to the box.

[PFT Commenter]

Max. Do you have another question?

[Max Del Piero]

Yeah, I got. I'll do one more. Last year, historic year.

[PFT Commenter]

Should have won mvp.

[Max Del Piero]

Should have won mvp. Would have been. Would have been fantastic.

[PFT Commenter]

Maybe. Because I bet on 90 to 1.

[Max Del Piero]

Yep, we all did. There. There became a point last year, like, you were. You were playing so well, and the home run number started to, you know, really get up there. So then it started to become, oh, this is a historic year. Historic year where it was like, is he gonna get to 50? Oh, we got to 50. He still's got this many games left. And then it's like, oh, is he gonna catch Howard? Is he gonna. Is he gonna get to 60? Like, when. How. How difficult is it to like, not think about that when you're, like, getting to the ballpark every day, being like, I'm in the middle of something special right now? Like, I have to not think about things that are, like, out of your control.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, it's. It's another great question, right? Like, everything's like, all learning experience, right? Like, never hit 50 before, right? Like, just like the first time I ever drove in 100 RBIs, right? Like, first time I ever. I was staring at 99 on that board, and you know it. And then for some reason, there's. There's like some. There wants to be some mental block, like, why? Like, what is this? Right? Like, I've taken how many bats in my life? Like, just take your bat. But for some reason, this wants to stare in the face, and you just gotta overcome it somehow. So, like, I. I mean, it was funny. Like the time. First time I ever drove in 100i. And Rojas on first, he's still second. They throw it in the center. He gets third base, and I got a guy on third base, less than two outs. They bring in the infield. Like, man, all I gotta do right now, I'm sitting there talking to myself, like, oh, I gotta do this. That's. And I'm like, you know, sitting there, whatever. This. Not in the moment, this post, but, you know, I end up capping a ball, like, squibbed it right over the third baseman's head. Like, if he was just playing normal, it would have been a nice, like, soft chest high throw.

[PFT Commenter]

Right, Right, right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And just because they were in, it goes over his head. It landed in the infield, and you get 100. It's like, whoo. You know, the weight falls off and, you know, it's. It's funny how the br. The mind works, you know? You're just sitting there and you're looking back, you go, man, why was I thinking like that? Right? Right. Like, why am I trying to tell myself to do this, this, this, this, that? Right? Like, no, like, I, I've done this plenty of times. I've driven in dudes plenty of times. Just do what you always do, you know, and then going back to the last year, right, when, you know, it's a, it's a, it's a story. There's. There's plenty of times. So, like, I hit 50, I mean, I was sitting on 49 for a little bit and I was like, man, like. And then you hit 50, like, feels like a weight gone off your shoulders. And you're like, man, like, why was I thinking like this? And then it's like, okay, we get to the end of the year and didn't think it was going to be possible, but then all of a sudden you have the four homer game. And then he popped two more against Miami. A year at 56 and hey, man, got three more games left. Might have a chance here. You know, it crept in my mind, you know, for. I'll be the first one to tell you, definitely corrupt in the mind. And it's like looking back at that, those three games, and I love watching those at bats. I'm like, man, those were awful bats. I'm like, all because something was in your head that probably shouldn't have been in there.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Besides just going in there and just really focusing on whatever you need to do too stick your bats, man.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And you know, it's like I said, everything's a learning experience.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And it's like, man, like I, I look back at something. I was like, man, like, I've never really played the game because we already clenched. We were everything. I think we already had the. It was like we had the two seed. I was like, man, like, I didn't enjoy playing those last three games like that. Like, I, me personally, I did. And like, it just felt weird to me because I never really thought about something like that. I'm like, man, like, I, I was like this make made a promise yourself. Like, I'm just never gonna think, like, think about any of that stuff, right? Yeah, like, I just need to go out there and do what I do and worry about what you always worry about, because when you do that, you're obviously pretty damn good. Yeah, that's what I always tell everyone. Like, you know, we're all here for a reason, right? Like, like, you don't need to Go out there and tell yourself to go do anything.

[Max Del Piero]

Right?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like that just brings in the little devil on the shoulder. Right? Like, we're all really good. Yeah. So let's just continue to be yourselves. And I guarantee you, more times than not, it's going to work out more. Right? Like, the work that they're putting in, the work that they're trying to do to get better, whatever it is. Like, you know, everyone has success, everyone has failures. But, you know, they go out there and say, like, man, like, I need to go do this. I need to go get this home. I need to go hit a home run, man. I need to go get a hit. No, you don't. Because now you're just telling yourself something you've never told yourself before. You were going good, Right? Right.

[PFT Commenter]

Like.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like, it's. It's just funny how the mind works. That's just the way I think. It's like, it's just always a good reminder, like, just be yourself always in those moments. And, you know, all the experiences leading up to those moments are. Are key and they're vital because you've been in those situations before and you know how to, you know, know not what to do, and just be yourself.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Be good.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. All right, we got a couple last questions. It's been so much fun. Have you. Have you. You haven't met Stephen Che, the commission.

[Kyle Schwarber]

No, he's here.

[PFT Commenter]

Commish is here. He's got to turn it on. Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

What's up, Kyle?

[PFT Commenter]

Nice to see you. He's also. He. He's also like a now die hard baseball fan. Know if you followed any of that.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. Really?

[PFT Commenter]

He picked up baseball last year, 20 games into the season. Never watched baseball, never rooted for a team. He's rooting for the Cubs with his son. He's. It's very funny because, like, even last year, I think he went to the game that they did, like a big ceremony for Rizzo. And after, he was like. He was like, dude, was that Rizzo guy good? And I was like, yeah, he was. So he's learning.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Congratulations.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, thank you.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the. I have some questions about the. The game since I'm new to.

[PFT Commenter]

To follow. But you. You're a DH now.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yes. You used to play some catcher long.

[PFT Commenter]

You're. You're sitting down, you're squatting for. Sorry, man.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I'm getting. I'm getting real. Two cross left and right.

[PFT Commenter]

Or Hank is calling me, actually. That's up.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Good start. Good start.

[PFT Commenter]

You got this.

[Big Cat]

Steven.

[PFT Commenter]

Steven, stay. So. So you Were you. You played some catcher.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yes.

[PFT Commenter]

What is the etiquette for gas? Because you're crouching, you got your butt almost as wide as possible for half the game, but there's a guy you need in your corner directly behind you. So what happens if you have gas? Do you have to get in front of it and apologize? Or do you just kind of let

[Kyle Schwarber]

it go and hope the wind takes it?

[PFT Commenter]

We've got some guys in. In the studio, too, that don't hear it. He asked, what. What do you do when you fart? When you're.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. I mean, like, there's. There's definitely, like, for the most part, you're like, if it's happening, like, you're trying not to, like, you know, poop on someone. Right?

[PFT Commenter]

Right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like, you're not trying to, you know, the umpire is just, like, right behind you. But. But, you know, there's times that this happens, man. I will say there's just times it just happens. And, you know, you're. You're just like, crossing your fingers. You're like, yeah, this is just me. Yeah, please, please just don't smell right. Like. But yeah, I mean, there's times that let it go, but most of the time it's like when you're, you know, guy hits the ball and you're trying to back up to play the first base, you just let her rip. Running down, you know, you're like,

[PFT Commenter]

good baseball. Question.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, great question. What about umpires? Do umpires. Do they. Do they have gas, too?

[Kyle Schwarber]

I'm sure they do. I've never experienced, though. I mean, they are human. Yeah, but I've never had umpire. Like, I've never had an umpire. Like, I haven't really smelled what I'm hitting. Like, it's. It's funny. Like, you. I never really even thought about it. Like, I never thought about the, like, sniff.

[Hank]

Yeah, right.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, right. Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

What is that?

[Kyle Schwarber]

I really thought about that. But. But, yeah, I'm sure it's happened. You know what's funny? It's like, there's like the viral video. What is it? Like Adam Lind.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like, baby patter comes out of the.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, yeah. I.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Like, I should ask him that question. He's. He's our AAA hitting coach. I need to ask.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You got to, like, did you actually fart there? Like, did you just have so much. Because don't get me wrong, like, when you load up on some baby powder or some gold bond, whatever it is, right? Like, it's going to sneak out of there.

[Big Cat]

It can Fall out.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's going to sneak out.

[Big Cat]

Out.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And, you know, I just want to know, like, did you. Did you, like. I want to know, did you actually, like, let it rip? I'm gonna ask him.

[PFT Commenter]

Good question, Shay.

[Max Del Piero]

Thanks.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Way to go.

[PFT Commenter]

Well, this has been awesome, Kyle, you're the best. I have one last question. Roeback question. Rho, B, A, C, K.com promo code, take 20 off your first purchase. Q, zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com promo code, take. It's actually not a question, it's a story. I remember that. I doubt you do, but it was. I already knew that you were the man, and I already was. Like, this guy. Fucking love him forever. But it's just a funny anecdote. I wonder if you remember at all we went. I was lucky enough, Cubs con. After the World Series, Rizzo was like, hey, come out. We'll have dinner with the whole T. I was literally sitting at a table with the entire team. I was sitting next to you. And we all got. We're at a steakhouse. We all got our steaks. And you got a salad. And you were just like, under your breath, you're like, theo's making me lose weight.

[Big Cat]

This is.

[PFT Commenter]

You were eating a salad and I was like, I love this guy. This is so relatable. Like, someone being like, you gotta lose weight. I don't know if you remember it,

[Kyle Schwarber]

but I was so true. Yeah. So true. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Were we.

[PFT Commenter]

I can't remember.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Cut.

[PFT Commenter]

It might have been Chicago.

[Big Cat]

Cut.

[PFT Commenter]

Maybe, Maybe. But, yeah, I just was like, I love this guy. Like, yes, dieting sucks.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yes. Normal people right there. Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

But you gotta do it. Yeah. Like, especially for, you know, obviously us, where it's like, yo, you gotta. You gotta stay in shape, guys. Right? Like, yo. But it was just funny, like, that whole thing where it's like, dude, like. So I was a catcher, right? Like. Like, you're burning calories left and right, then all of a sudden, you get the big leagues. I'm not catching anymore. I'm just playing left field. I'm just eating the same way I normally would. And also, I'm like, dude, you're fat. Like, dude, like, you gotta. So there was like, yeah, I guess you gotta figure it out. Eat different. Yeah, it's like, at the time, it's like, I was like, what the.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, I mean, we literally all got our steaks. You got a salad.

[Kyle Schwarber]

This is like, man, like, I'm watching all these dudes are sitting down, eating A nice bone in filet right now, and I'm sitting there crushing a chicken Caesar salad.

[PFT Commenter]

Sucks. Also, congrats on Indiana football. Wow, that was awesome.

[Hank]

Wow.

[PFT Commenter]

Are you guys a football school now? I think so.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You got to be once you win the national champ. Yeah, I ain't no Cinderella story. No, that's not a Cinderella story.

[PFT Commenter]

It's too bad K's not here right now. I'm sure he'd love to meet you.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yes. That been awesome, dude. He w a. He w a. Yeah, he had a good run there in the playoffs. Yeah. But watching his videos online, he was. He was. He was everywhere.

[PFT Commenter]

But something.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, but, yeah, dude, like, going to. So I went. We went to the Notre Dame game when they. They got beat in the playoffs, their first year in the playoffs, and, you know, it was like, man, like, it's good run, you know, like, don't know if it's going to happen again. And then, like, you're. You know, you're still following and you're like, man, they look good. They look good. They look. They look real good. They're like, holy. Like, they look real good now. They're. You know, I remember the Penn State game.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

So my sister. My sister get married, and it's. So we're in the wedding. It's like, time to go to the venue, and we got the game on at their house. While we're waiting, I'm like. And it's in the fourth quarter with, like, a minute to go. I'm like, do we gotta go? Like, yeah. So I'm like, all right. I'm turning this game on the car. Literally pull up into the. Into the venue on the. On the touchdown throw, like, the most, like, I. I can't believe the guy even got his foot down.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's like.

[Ryan Whitney]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Craziest thing I ever seen where it looks like he's gonna step out, he somehow turns, and the foot that was out of bounds was the one that actually touches inbounds.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I'm like, what's going on right now? And so then Ohio State game, Big Ten championship. Watching with my boys and, you know, growing up in Ohio, right. So, like, I. All my boys are Ohio State fans. And, you know, I grew up watching Ohio State football.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

You know, I did. And, you know, it's funny because it's just. It means something a little bit different when it's like the school you went to. Yeah. And you. You know, and it's like. Like, you're all in this. Took all the Ohio out of Me?

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I'm like, no, let's go. And.

[PFT Commenter]

And they were probably so cocky, too. Oh, man.

[Kyle Schwarber]

And we go in there and you know, what a game. So I'm like, man, this is gonna get real. And so I get a call from the assistant athletic director, who was our radio guy in Indiana baseball. Radio guy. And he's like, hey, you know the Rose Bowl? He goes, it was great. You know, we're obviously going to the Peach Bowl. He's like, you want to be the. The captain out there that stands next to him? I'm like, yeah, yeah. I got a kid coming. I gotta figure this out. So talk to my wife. I'm like, hey, like, they. They called, they want me to go out. She's like, all right, go. So I go take my brother in law. I'm like, standing there on the field. I'm just looking around. It's like 90 Indiana fans inside there, which is awesome. And here comes the dudes, you know, captains. And I'm like, man, like, I'm thinking, like, what am I gonna say to these guys? Like, you know, like, first off, I am. And second off, like, what am I gonna do? And I look at these dudes and I mean, you know, I'm 33, man. Like, these dudes are what, like, 20 year olds?

[PFT Commenter]

Well, Indiana, like 25.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Easy, easy. But it's within the rules. But these dudes come up, they're massive. I'm just looking at these dudes in their eyes, and I'm like, man, I know, exactly. I didn't say this. I'm like, man, I know exactly how you feel, but I'm so jealous because you guys actually get to go hit someone and we got to try to hit a baseball, right? That's getting thrown at us.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

I'm like, I'm not gonna say a word. So, like, I just, hey, good luck. That's it. Fist bump. I'm like, I'm just gonna stand here and act like I'm invisible and, you know, go out there, win it. And then we go to the national championship. I took all the roommates and.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, hell yes.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah. That's incredible. Awesome. Great experience. I mean, sitting on the 50, I mean, hell of a game. Miami had an unbelievable defense. I mean, that first drive when they popping dozer right in his chin, I was like, oh, boy. Yeah, we're gonna be in for one. But. And like this, like the, the. The other cinematic play that they're. Hopefully they build a statue of like, like the fourth down, run, spin move, jump, touchdown, right Unbelievable.

[PFT Commenter]

So you would recommend that to everyone else to have your college win a national championship?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Oh, man, would I ever. I would have never thought it would have happened a million years for Indiana football. Crazy, dude. I would say you're crazy, dude. I bought the season tickets when I was a freshman in college and I, like, showed up. Where is everyone? They're all just over in those fields, right? Where they're tailgating. Where is everyone? Right? But, like. And then this. Yeah. To see it now, you're like, wow, that was. That was so cool. Sig's got those guys rolling, man.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

[Hank]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Well, Kyle, you're the man. We love having you here. Catching up. Best of luck. You are the number one athlete on Pardon my take, just so you know.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Thank you, guys.

[PFT Commenter]

We always cut your back. I guess you'd have to. To complete the whole, like, infinity stone, you have to play for the Mets, which I don't think you're gonna ever do. So that's memes as a Mets fan. So just stay away from the Mets and then. Okay, yeah, you're good.

[Big Cat]

Wait, can you confirm, like, you will. You will never play for the Mets?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Huh?

[Big Cat]

Will you promise that me that you won't ever play for the Mets?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah, sure.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay, There it is. Done.

[Big Cat]

Sorry.

[PFT Commenter]

Sorry, Memes.

[Ryan Whitney]

You're out.

[PFT Commenter]

All right, thanks so much, Schwarz.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Thanks, guys.

[Big Cat]

Kyle Schwarber was brought to you by our great friends over at Reese's. Some fans believe in teams of destiny, but I believe everything happens for Reese's. Just think about it. What's one thing every team or athlete wants? A championship.

[PFT Commenter]

Why?

[Big Cat]

Because half of them are called cups. Stanley World Rider. Just like Reese's. Luckily, scoring a Reese's cup is way easier than winning a championship. It's almost like you were destined to get one right now. Because everything happens for a Reese's. Reese is the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Everything happens for a Reese's. Get yours@hersheland get.com recess and Kyle Schwarber was also brought to you by your big financial friend over at Experian. It's never too late to improve your credit. With Experian Boost, you can raise your credit score instantly for free. Get credit for the bills that you're already paying. Add your positive rent, your utility, even streaming payments to instantly increase your credit scores. First, boost your credit scores instantly. Experian Boost is a completely free and instant way to raise your credit score. Get better credit scores. You can get credit for the bills that you're already Paying increase that credit score instantly for free. Now, paying rent could boost your credit score instantly as well. Download the app. Get started for free today. Results will vary. Not all payments are boost eligible or considered by lenders. See experian.com for details.

[PFT Commenter]

Okay, let's wrap up the show. We got FAQ

[Hank]

with a new book coming out. Has there been any old memories or. So I guess we kind of talked about that. Has there any old memories or stories have been brought up while writing chapters that have caused issues amongst the group? Thinking about if I brought up 10 years of history with my friends, something negative would come up eventually. Love you guys.

[Big Cat]

No, no, I don't think so. I think it just brought up, if anything, the opposite.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, actually was the exact opposite, where it's like, damn, I, I time. I'm not high right now, but I feel high. Saying this time just makes no sense to me anymore. It just. It's partially because of COVID or my ability to understand time, but also just the fact that we've been doing this for 10 years and it's just. What the. Yeah, it's just crazy. It's just the whole thing just makes no sense.

[Big Cat]

Crazy part about time is it doesn't stop.

[PFT Commenter]

I agree.

[Hank]

Can you give the origin story of Soggy Sorrows? We all know what it is, but why was it.

[PFT Commenter]

I think I remember.

[Big Cat]

I think. I think back in like 2016 or 2017, we said, everybody bring three new segment ideas for the podcast.

[PFT Commenter]

We should do that again this summer.

[Big Cat]

And I. Yeah, we should. I think it was Hank, by the way. We have to make a friend.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, yeah, no, I've been. I've been.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I've been.

[PFT Commenter]

I got my eyes on a guy.

[Big Cat]

I forgot. I forgot.

[PFT Commenter]

Zach, pick a. Let's, let's say put in, put in the note to remind us a week before, but let's say July 24th. So the week before that. Nope, sorry. July 29th, the week before that. Remind us to all bring three new segments. Okay. Can do. Sure. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So, yeah, we did one of those and one of us. I don't think it was me. Was it Hank?

[PFT Commenter]

I think it was. Was it the double doink was the first one?

[Big Cat]

No, but somebody suggested that when we get sad when our team loses that we just pour water on ourselves and we're like, that makes sense.

[PFT Commenter]

Was it. What was the first one?

[Hank]

Trying to remember. The, the double doy was awkward because it was kind of like the, the Wisconsin where, like, it was. You were so mad, but I had

[PFT Commenter]

to be like, yeah, Imagine the double doing cabin with Max. It wouldn't.

[Max Del Piero]

It wouldn't have happened.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah, it would have gone in. Yeah, it would have gone in.

[Big Cat]

Hank, you had one, didn't you? I had a bunch real early on. I feel like there was a really. There was a very, very small soggy sorrows that you did for like a regular season loss.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. Like, they kicked it off.

[Big Cat]

Maybe like a heartbreaking, like, come from behind loss.

[Hank]

They try to make me do it for Gordon Hayward.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, speaking of which, I mean, we're taping this in the morning, but there might be tonight. Yeah. Sixers.

[Max Del Piero]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Fuck, that sucks.

[Hank]

You guys are already the number one sports podcast, but what's one metric or milestone for the pod that you're all looking to surpass? What's the next giant handle for PMT in the future? Is it numbers thing or is it something qualitative? I think I would like to become the first sports podcast to do a live show at the YouTube Theater.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, we are.

[Hank]

And get a plaque on Tuesday, May 5th.

[PFT Commenter]

Everyone buy tickets.

[Hank]

They're giving us a plaque, which I. Yeah, love.

[Big Cat]

I love the true where were you? Moment in history.

[PFT Commenter]

A billion. A billion streams on Spotify would be cool. I think we're at 500 million.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

We have the 250 out there, and I believe we're close to 500 million. That's gonna be pretty nuts when we get to a billion.

[Big Cat]

I can't wait for a 500th episode. Yeah, that's going to be a big one.

[PFT Commenter]

Yep. I think at this point we're kind of like LeBron, like the longevity thing,

[Big Cat]

you know, get our kids podcasting with us.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, yeah, that might be it, actually.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

My kids someday been like, hey, it's time to go to work. Your podcast.

[Big Cat]

No. Okay, so it's like the alley oop if your son gets the lottery ball.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That will be a true like. Okay, I've done it all.

[PFT Commenter]

My moment. Yeah.

[Hank]

If my son video you just sent Max.

[Ryan Whitney]

What?

[Max Del Piero]

That's my live reaction to the double doink.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, speaking of which, I think that

[Max Del Piero]

was like the first reaction video I ever filmed.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

I took my shirt off immediately out of excitement.

[PFT Commenter]

Then I.

[Max Del Piero]

And then I took this video.

[Big Cat]

Were you recording as the kick went up?

[PFT Commenter]

No, it's just.

[Max Del Piero]

It's just right. It's just right after. I don't know why I took that video, Max.

[PFT Commenter]

Speaking of which, I just realized we. Our good friend Todd McShay did send us a video of. So why don't we play It. Do you have any others? I'm. I'm emailing it to you. Max, do you have any other questions?

[Hank]

The last one is just. What happened to those fake science match you guys were getting? The ones that two had gone as teammates?

[PFT Commenter]

I gave one to Chef Donnie. Chef Donnie?

[Ryan Whitney]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

It's just Chef.

[Hank]

I might take the other one.

[PFT Commenter]

And I have one in my garage for Stella that I haven't. I got to use. Yeah. I mean, Chef Donnie believes in it.

[Hank]

He.

[PFT Commenter]

Chef Donnie gets naked, gets on his mat every single night, does his little sleep workout. So, yeah, it works. If it works for one person, then I'm happy.

[Big Cat]

If. If you believe in anything, it works. Yeah, that's just kind of how it works.

[PFT Commenter]

All right, this is Todd McShay. For being wrong about Cole Payton.

[Big Cat]

Well, yeah, for being sad that Cole

[PFT Commenter]

Payton didn't go in the. The. The fifth round. Or he went in the fifth round, not the fourth round.

[Big Cat]

To the Eagles.

[PFT Commenter]

To the Eagles. Okay.

[Big Cat]

Soft benching for Jalen hurts.

[PFT Commenter]

Todd, by the way, looks really good. I'm not gonna cry for you, big cat. I'm not gonna cry for Cole Payton. I'm not sad. You know, there's nothing wrong with late round. I mean, yeah, he looks like Tebow, and I get it. It comes from the left side. He's got some tight upper body, and he was like a running back, a fullback for the first couple years. Cole Payton can play, man. I'm not sad. Did you see Ty Simpson? Huh? Look at that hair.

[Big Cat]

What about that backwards hat?

[PFT Commenter]

No one had ty Simpson at 13. I don't get any messages from you saying, send me a video. You nailed 13 with Ty Simpson, but here I am. Yeah, it was. It was rough. But you know what's not going to be rough?

[Big Cat]

When the Eagles have a quarterback from North Dakota State. They finally get the right one from North Dakota State.

[PFT Commenter]

His name's Cole Payton, and he takes over as a starter in two years from now.

[Big Cat]

And I'm going to get the last lap.

[PFT Commenter]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

And so is Cole.

[PFT Commenter]

I'm not crying. Yeah, that would be sick, Max.

[Big Cat]

Can you imagine?

[PFT Commenter]

Would that be so sick, Max?

[Max Del Piero]

Two years is a long time from now.

[PFT Commenter]

Right? But when. That's really. If Copain was awesome, them.

[Big Cat]

It's not that long at all.

[Max Del Piero]

Remember what you did two years ago.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, 100. I remember what I did two years ago. So long ago. Drafted Jaden Daniels.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Yeah.

[Max Del Piero]

It was so long ago.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah. So long ago. All right.

[Big Cat]

Good show, boys. Cole Payton, the future.

[PFT Commenter]

Numbers 11. We're gonna get this 1156. 77.

[Big Cat]

15.

[PFT Commenter]

If I get this the second time. Time before anyone gets one.

[Hank]

Jacob got one.

[Big Cat]

Jacob.

[PFT Commenter]

Sushi sounds good.

[Big Cat]

He casted Jacob off sushi.

[Hank]

I mean, he barely. It was a. It was a light love.

[PFT Commenter]

He posted a picture. He got.

[Big Cat]

That bruise is bad.

[PFT Commenter]

He got up. We almost lost him. Oh, hurry up, Shane. Hurry up.

[Max Del Piero]

Hurry up, Shane.

[PFT Commenter]

24. Hurry up.

[Max Del Piero]

Hurry up, J.

[PFT Commenter]

Hurry up, hurry up.

[Big Cat]

37.

[Max Del Piero]

1237 and 12. 37 and 1252. Ah, so close to 56.

[PFT Commenter]

One more, one more. 56. 77.

[Kyle Schwarber]

50.

[Max Del Piero]

Why do you keep doing 77?

[PFT Commenter]

I don't know. I did 23 for a really long time and I got it.

[Max Del Piero]

So you like BJ Edge cones?

[Kyle Schwarber]

Luca or Luca? Yeah. Damn.

[Max Del Piero]

2, 2, 7, 37. That's a 40 something.

[PFT Commenter]

19. 19. Not even close. 19 Max doesn't know how to read.

[Kyle Schwarber]

It's so far away. Yeah.

[PFT Commenter]

All right, say it.

[Big Cat]

Love you guys. Happy birthday to Barbaro the horse. Happy birthday to Jay Cutler.

[PFT Commenter]

Yeah, Cuddy.

[Big Cat]

And happy birthday to Justin Thomas Memes.

[PFT Commenter]

No, I'm glad. I'm glad you got that one.

[Big Cat]

Got which one?

[PFT Commenter]

Jay Cutler.

[Big Cat]

My birthday. Jonathan toes. Oh, Jonathan toes. Okay, does everybody. Does everyone in Buffalo know the words to oh Canada? Like, dude, does every hockey player know that?

[Ryan Whitney]

Yeah, I mean, do you not know the word so Canada?

[PFT Commenter]

No, why would we? We're Americans.

[Ryan Whitney]

Oh yeah. You guys are so hardcore. Why don't you enlist in the army then?

[Kyle Schwarber]

What?

[PFT Commenter]

What the. Dude, the Canadian. That was. That was.

[Big Cat]

Why don't you learn how to be a mountain?

[Ryan Whitney]

Who doesn't know the worst? Oh Canada?

[Big Cat]

I don't think a lot of people probably don't know the word so Cannon.

[PFT Commenter]

None of us do.

[Ryan Whitney]

You guys aren't hockey fans then?

[PFT Commenter]

No. Why would we learn the words?

[Ryan Whitney]

Learning the words. I never learned the words. I just know it from hearing it so much.

[Big Cat]

Oh Canada.

[PFT Commenter]

Oh, sick in the league.

[Big Cat]

Native land.

[Ryan Whitney]

Yeah, you're welcome.

[Big Cat]

Stand beside her. Her and got.

[PFT Commenter]

I actually.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[PFT Commenter]

I sang it once, remember? At the Rough and Rowdy in Providence? They pelted me with beers.

[Ryan Whitney]

You probably. You probably know more than you think

[PFT Commenter]

I do on the tune. You're right. Oh Canada, Our home and native land

[Big Cat]

true

[Kyle Schwarber]

and all our.

[PFT Commenter]

O Canada, we stand on God for thee. O Canada, we stand on God for thee. Oh yeah. We know all the way words.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Sam. It.

[PFT Commenter]

Sam.

[Kyle Schwarber]

Dance.