Pardon My Take — NFL Divisional Round, Electric Substations, Coaching Carousel, and More

Episode Date: January 16, 2026
Hosts: Big Cat & PFT Commenter (Barstool Sports)
Guests: Kyle Long (Former NFL lineman/CBS Sports), Peter Cowan (Photobiology & Circadian Science), plus regulars Memes, Max, Hank, Zach

Episode Overview

This episode dives into:

In-depth NFL Divisional Round analysis for all four playoff games
A breakdown of the Giants’ hiring of John Harbaugh and other major coaching news
An interview with viral substation-theory guy Peter Cowan about the 49ers’ injury luck
Fast food and stadium design tangents
The regular “Fyre Fest” misery roundtable and weekly picks
Notably, the tone is fast-paced, irreverent, and laced with the hosts’ signature sarcasm and banter.

Key Segments & Insights

1. John Harbaugh to the Giants & NFL Coaching Carousel

[03:33 – 12:00]

Harbaugh’s Hire:
- Big Cat: “John Harbaugh, you’re a New York Giant…They didn’t let you out of the building. You got kidnapped.” [03:43]
- PFT: Praises the move for stability; Giants have cycled through coaches since Tom Coughlin.
- Running joke: Trying to recall the full list of forgettable post-Coughlin Giants coaches (Pat Shurmur notably always forgotten).
Potential Harbaugh Impact:
- “He had his pick of the litter…he’ll get some of the best coordinators. There’s stability,” says PFT. [05:37]
Knock on Harbaugh:
- “Sometimes in the playoffs, he forgets to run the football.” — Big Cat [06:26]
- “I don’t think Cam Scatter Boo in a playoff game would ever let you forget to run the football.” — PFT [06:30]
Other coaching news:
- Matt LaFleur (Packers) likely staying, needs a raise.
- Mike Tomlin’s “resignation” with Steelers discussed; player reactions emotional, hosts note he kept the team afloat with inferior QBs.
- “The Steelers might go into a dark phase here where they realize, yeah, actually, Mike Tomlin was keeping this thing together better than we all thought.” — PFT [11:25]
- Fun Stat: Since 1969, Steelers have had three head coaches, Browns 21 [12:56]

2. News Tangents and Sports Media Musings

[14:10 – 18:45]

Australian Open Promotion:
- “One point slam” tennis event, a 64-person bracket including pros and fans, amused panel.
Rory McIlroy Using Forgiving Golf Clubs:
- Running joke about “cavity backs” vs. “blades” and who should use what clubs.
- “If you master playing with blades, you just feel better about yourself.” — Big Cat [16:19]
Clayton Kershaw’s World Baseball Classic Plans
New Washington D.C. NFL Stadium Design:
- PFT: “You guys nailed that stadium. Thank you. So sick.” [17:25]
- Long riff about stadium aesthetics, logistics, political shuffling, and the “three wins per year” a great stadium brings.
- “This stadium is out for blood.” — Big Cat [21:21]
Bears Stadium Woes:
- “They want to because it’s a lot more money. They don’t own Soldier Field. That’s the whole problem.” — PFT [19:25]
- “They’re never going to own social media. It’s owned by…” — Memes (mixed up, recurring misstatement about the stadium). [19:37]

3. NFL Divisional Round Game Previews & Picks

[24:54 – 44:00+]

A. Bills vs. Broncos

Denver -1.5, O/U 45.5
Josh Allen the x-factor, Broncos more complete team.
“As long as [Allen’s] got a good offensive line…he should be able to make something happen.” — Big Cat [25:47]
Denver’s home altitude and crowd dissected.
Josh Allen wife jersey discourse, Bills WR woes, “asymmetric warfare” analysis.
Extensive dumb/vibes “2024 QB class breakthrough moment” discussion (Allen, Bo Nix, etc.)
Touches on historical playoff records, Allen’s altitude advantage (“went to Wyoming!”).

B. Niners at Seahawks

Seattle -7, O/U 44.5
“Sam Darnold was just added to the injury report for an oblique injury. Questionable.” — PFT [36:15]
“Sam Darnold. Pumpkin watch.” — Big Cat [36:46]
Niners battered but always “get to at least NFC championship game.” — PFT
Trend: “Seahawks have won 10 straight home playoff games with fans in stands.” — Big Cat [40:31]
Christian McCaffrey scoring-streak watch: “He scored in eight [playoff games] right now…Thurman Thomas has the record with nine.” — Big Cat [41:29]

C. Texans at Patriots

Patriots -3, O/U 40.5
“Vibes are high,” says Hank, potential snow game, ESPN sending the house.
A classic defensive, physical battle expected — injuries discussed (Nico Collins).
Gimmick stat: “Drake May is the worst quarterback in the NFL on third and six.” — Big Cat [48:21]
Runs through Patriots/Texans playoff futility/championship drought trivia.

D. Rams at Bears

Rams -3.5, O/U 48.5
“The Rams are a better team…but Caleb Williams…has given me confidence.” — Big Cat [59:27]
Weather expected to play a major role; negative-temps, “bare weather” discussed.
“If football was a quarterback, it would be Drake May. He is winning football.” — Big Cat [47:37]
Case Keenum talks to Bears about Minneapolis Miracle hangover (“don’t let a win linger, need to move on”).
“The boys are getting together. They’re having conference calls now on how to take down Ben Johnson.” — Big Cat [62:30]
Bears fans getting ahead of themselves with fake 2074 doc about future dynasty.

4. Interview: Kyle Long

[81:22 – 121:27]

Highlights:

Reflections on his first game calling for CBS (“Color analysis is hard. You don’t know when to talk. You’re supposed to shut up when the refs are on the field.” — Kyle Long, [82:06])
Production meetings with the likes of Andy Reid, insight into coaching styles: “It can look like, ‘You Packers!’ or ‘I’m gonna get you guys a cheeseburger.’ And it can work either way.” — Kyle Long [85:07]
Ducks pride and Indiana loss; wife’s Hoosier loyalty.
Deep film and O-line talk: Broncos/Allen, pass rush, playoff gameplans.
“If there is any sort of precipitation or the footing is poor, it’s advantage offense. We know the play. We know the direction. … The Soldier Field grass… it’s advantage offense.” — Kyle Long [106:20]
“Theo Benedict is a hockey player enforcer playing tackle.” — Kyle Long [109:23]

5. Interview: Peter Cowan (49ers Substation Theory)

[123:06 – 143:01]

Explains the Twitter-thread-turned-national-story: electrical substations and AC magnetic fields could be a “cell dehydratant” (makes your tissues more brittle?).
“It dries you out on the inside. Like, you leave a rubber band in the sun, it gets brittle and snaps.” [124:12]
49ers’ practice facility is the closest of any NFL team to such a substation; unproven, but a theory with some basis in photobiology.
“Niners have had more high-profile injuries,” but, per Cowan, maybe it’s just confirmation bias.
Practical advice: “Put blue-light blocking glasses on at dusk. Bare feet on the soil. Sun exposure for your testosterone!” [137:05]
Also long tangent breaking up the science with In-N-Out Burger order discourse.

6. Weekly Picks & Fyre Fest

[73:01 – end]

Standings:
- Max & Big Cat: “24–15, a professional gambler level” — Big Cat [75:15]
Notable Locks:
- Under Bears/Rams 40.5
- Under Niner/Seahawks 44.5
- Patriots -3
- Bills +1.5
Fyre Fest Segment:
- Pug (producer) leaving the show for a new Barstool role; “We’re gonna miss you Pug, all-time vibes guy.” [144:00]
- Tooth surgery dread, clogging toilets in the presence of toddlers, missed alarms, and viral “crying” accusations roundtable.
- “If you think clogging a toilet is bad, wait till you have a four and two-year-old watching you every step of the way.” — Big Cat [159:10]

Notable Quotes and Highlights

[Timestamps in MM:SS]

“John Harbaugh, you’re a New York Giant. Congratulations John. They didn’t let you out of the building. You got kidnapped.” — Big Cat [03:43]
“The Steelers might go into a dark phase here where they realize, yeah, actually, Mike Tomlin was keeping this together better than we all thought.” — PFT [11:25]
“Josh Allen’s the cheat code on short yardage. That’s what you want.” — Kyle Long [89:01]
“If there is any sort of precipitation...it’s advantage offense. We know the play, we know the direction. …The Soldier Field grass…it’s advantage offense.” — Kyle Long [106:20]
“It dries you out on the inside. Like, you leave a rubber band in the sun, it gets brittle and snaps.” — Peter Cowan [124:12]
“Clogging a toilet is bad, but wait till you have a four and two-year-old watching you every step.” — Big Cat [159:10]

Memorable Tangents and Moments

Extended, tongue-in-cheek breakdown of why certain quarterbacks (Drake May) supposedly “suck on third and six” (and why that “stat” probably means nothing!).
Wild, authentic sidebar on stadiums as “three-win differences.”
Kyle Long tells the story of the best tattoo he saw in the NFL: “All You Can Eat Under a Buck” — [104:08]
Peter Cowan explains not wearing blue-light glasses perfectly: “Do what you can do, man. Wear ‘em to look cool for the roommates, your wife, your kids, whatever.” — [133:29]

Summary for Non-Listeners

This episode is a sprawling, hilarious, and insightful voyage through the biggest NFL headlines, with deep game previews, frank player/coach assessments, oddball science deep-dives, and plenty of genuine camaraderie. The panel moves seamlessly from serious football talk to poking fun at arcane stats, to fast food and beyond. If you want knowledge (and laughs) heading into NFL playoff weekend—with a side order of stadium politics, substation pseudoscience, and real-life chaos—this is your weekly fix.

Listen if you like: Group think-tank football analysis, off-the-wall theory discussions, sports radio with camaraderie and personality.
Skip if you hate: Sports banter, recurring inside jokes, or jokes about clogging toilets with an audience of toddlers.

Some Segment Timestamps

[03:33] — Harbaugh to Giants & Coaching Carousel
[17:25] — Stadium Design & NFL Infrastructure
[24:55] — Divisional Round Game Previews Begin
[81:22] — Kyle Long Interview
[123:06] — Peter Cowan "49ers Substation" Interview
[144:00] — Fyre Fest: Producer Send-off & Roundtable Problems
[159:00+] — End-of-show lottery and closing banter

Note: This summary is formatted to reflect the PMT hosts’ fast dialogue, mix of sports nerdery and total chaos, and lets their quotes stand out. The timestamps let you quickly find major segments in the (very long!) episode.

Pardon My Take — NFL Divisional Round, Electric Substations, Coaching Carousel, and More

Episode Overview

This episode dives into:

In-depth NFL Divisional Round analysis for all four playoff games
A breakdown of the Giants’ hiring of John Harbaugh and other major coaching news
An interview with viral substation-theory guy Peter Cowan about the 49ers’ injury luck
Fast food and stadium design tangents
The regular “Fyre Fest” misery roundtable and weekly picks
Notably, the tone is fast-paced, irreverent, and laced with the hosts’ signature sarcasm and banter.

Key Segments & Insights

1. John Harbaugh to the Giants & NFL Coaching Carousel

[03:33 – 12:00]

Harbaugh’s Hire:
- Big Cat: “John Harbaugh, you’re a New York Giant…They didn’t let you out of the building. You got kidnapped.” [03:43]
- PFT: Praises the move for stability; Giants have cycled through coaches since Tom Coughlin.
- Running joke: Trying to recall the full list of forgettable post-Coughlin Giants coaches (Pat Shurmur notably always forgotten).
Potential Harbaugh Impact:
- “He had his pick of the litter…he’ll get some of the best coordinators. There’s stability,” says PFT. [05:37]
Knock on Harbaugh:
- “Sometimes in the playoffs, he forgets to run the football.” — Big Cat [06:26]
- “I don’t think Cam Scatter Boo in a playoff game would ever let you forget to run the football.” — PFT [06:30]
Other coaching news:
- Matt LaFleur (Packers) likely staying, needs a raise.
- Mike Tomlin’s “resignation” with Steelers discussed; player reactions emotional, hosts note he kept the team afloat with inferior QBs.
- “The Steelers might go into a dark phase here where they realize, yeah, actually, Mike Tomlin was keeping this thing together better than we all thought.” — PFT [11:25]
- Fun Stat: Since 1969, Steelers have had three head coaches, Browns 21 [12:56]

2. News Tangents and Sports Media Musings

[14:10 – 18:45]

Australian Open Promotion:
- “One point slam” tennis event, a 64-person bracket including pros and fans, amused panel.
Rory McIlroy Using Forgiving Golf Clubs:
- Running joke about “cavity backs” vs. “blades” and who should use what clubs.
- “If you master playing with blades, you just feel better about yourself.” — Big Cat [16:19]
Clayton Kershaw’s World Baseball Classic Plans
New Washington D.C. NFL Stadium Design:
- PFT: “You guys nailed that stadium. Thank you. So sick.” [17:25]
- Long riff about stadium aesthetics, logistics, political shuffling, and the “three wins per year” a great stadium brings.
- “This stadium is out for blood.” — Big Cat [21:21]
Bears Stadium Woes:
- “They want to because it’s a lot more money. They don’t own Soldier Field. That’s the whole problem.” — PFT [19:25]
- “They’re never going to own social media. It’s owned by…” — Memes (mixed up, recurring misstatement about the stadium). [19:37]

3. NFL Divisional Round Game Previews & Picks

[24:54 – 44:00+]

A. Bills vs. Broncos

Denver -1.5, O/U 45.5
Josh Allen the x-factor, Broncos more complete team.
“As long as [Allen’s] got a good offensive line…he should be able to make something happen.” — Big Cat [25:47]
Denver’s home altitude and crowd dissected.
Josh Allen wife jersey discourse, Bills WR woes, “asymmetric warfare” analysis.
Extensive dumb/vibes “2024 QB class breakthrough moment” discussion (Allen, Bo Nix, etc.)
Touches on historical playoff records, Allen’s altitude advantage (“went to Wyoming!”).

B. Niners at Seahawks

Seattle -7, O/U 44.5
“Sam Darnold was just added to the injury report for an oblique injury. Questionable.” — PFT [36:15]
“Sam Darnold. Pumpkin watch.” — Big Cat [36:46]
Niners battered but always “get to at least NFC championship game.” — PFT
Trend: “Seahawks have won 10 straight home playoff games with fans in stands.” — Big Cat [40:31]
Christian McCaffrey scoring-streak watch: “He scored in eight [playoff games] right now…Thurman Thomas has the record with nine.” — Big Cat [41:29]

C. Texans at Patriots

Patriots -3, O/U 40.5
“Vibes are high,” says Hank, potential snow game, ESPN sending the house.
A classic defensive, physical battle expected — injuries discussed (Nico Collins).
Gimmick stat: “Drake May is the worst quarterback in the NFL on third and six.” — Big Cat [48:21]
Runs through Patriots/Texans playoff futility/championship drought trivia.

D. Rams at Bears

Rams -3.5, O/U 48.5
“The Rams are a better team…but Caleb Williams…has given me confidence.” — Big Cat [59:27]
Weather expected to play a major role; negative-temps, “bare weather” discussed.
“If football was a quarterback, it would be Drake May. He is winning football.” — Big Cat [47:37]
Case Keenum talks to Bears about Minneapolis Miracle hangover (“don’t let a win linger, need to move on”).
“The boys are getting together. They’re having conference calls now on how to take down Ben Johnson.” — Big Cat [62:30]
Bears fans getting ahead of themselves with fake 2074 doc about future dynasty.

4. Interview: Kyle Long

[81:22 – 121:27]

Highlights:

Reflections on his first game calling for CBS (“Color analysis is hard. You don’t know when to talk. You’re supposed to shut up when the refs are on the field.” — Kyle Long, [82:06])
Production meetings with the likes of Andy Reid, insight into coaching styles: “It can look like, ‘You Packers!’ or ‘I’m gonna get you guys a cheeseburger.’ And it can work either way.” — Kyle Long [85:07]
Ducks pride and Indiana loss; wife’s Hoosier loyalty.
Deep film and O-line talk: Broncos/Allen, pass rush, playoff gameplans.
“If there is any sort of precipitation or the footing is poor, it’s advantage offense. We know the play. We know the direction. … The Soldier Field grass… it’s advantage offense.” — Kyle Long [106:20]
“Theo Benedict is a hockey player enforcer playing tackle.” — Kyle Long [109:23]

5. Interview: Peter Cowan (49ers Substation Theory)

[123:06 – 143:01]

Explains the Twitter-thread-turned-national-story: electrical substations and AC magnetic fields could be a “cell dehydratant” (makes your tissues more brittle?).
“It dries you out on the inside. Like, you leave a rubber band in the sun, it gets brittle and snaps.” [124:12]
49ers’ practice facility is the closest of any NFL team to such a substation; unproven, but a theory with some basis in photobiology.
“Niners have had more high-profile injuries,” but, per Cowan, maybe it’s just confirmation bias.
Practical advice: “Put blue-light blocking glasses on at dusk. Bare feet on the soil. Sun exposure for your testosterone!” [137:05]
Also long tangent breaking up the science with In-N-Out Burger order discourse.

6. Weekly Picks & Fyre Fest

[73:01 – end]

Standings:
- Max & Big Cat: “24–15, a professional gambler level” — Big Cat [75:15]
Notable Locks:
- Under Bears/Rams 40.5
- Under Niner/Seahawks 44.5
- Patriots -3
- Bills +1.5
Fyre Fest Segment:
- Pug (producer) leaving the show for a new Barstool role; “We’re gonna miss you Pug, all-time vibes guy.” [144:00]
- Tooth surgery dread, clogging toilets in the presence of toddlers, missed alarms, and viral “crying” accusations roundtable.
- “If you think clogging a toilet is bad, wait till you have a four and two-year-old watching you every step of the way.” — Big Cat [159:10]

Notable Quotes and Highlights

[Timestamps in MM:SS]

“John Harbaugh, you’re a New York Giant. Congratulations John. They didn’t let you out of the building. You got kidnapped.” — Big Cat [03:43]
“The Steelers might go into a dark phase here where they realize, yeah, actually, Mike Tomlin was keeping this together better than we all thought.” — PFT [11:25]
“Josh Allen’s the cheat code on short yardage. That’s what you want.” — Kyle Long [89:01]
“If there is any sort of precipitation...it’s advantage offense. We know the play, we know the direction. …The Soldier Field grass…it’s advantage offense.” — Kyle Long [106:20]
“It dries you out on the inside. Like, you leave a rubber band in the sun, it gets brittle and snaps.” — Peter Cowan [124:12]
“Clogging a toilet is bad, but wait till you have a four and two-year-old watching you every step.” — Big Cat [159:10]

Memorable Tangents and Moments

Extended, tongue-in-cheek breakdown of why certain quarterbacks (Drake May) supposedly “suck on third and six” (and why that “stat” probably means nothing!).
Wild, authentic sidebar on stadiums as “three-win differences.”
Kyle Long tells the story of the best tattoo he saw in the NFL: “All You Can Eat Under a Buck” — [104:08]
Peter Cowan explains not wearing blue-light glasses perfectly: “Do what you can do, man. Wear ‘em to look cool for the roommates, your wife, your kids, whatever.” — [133:29]

Summary for Non-Listeners

Some Segment Timestamps

[03:33] — Harbaugh to Giants & Coaching Carousel
[17:25] — Stadium Design & NFL Infrastructure
[24:55] — Divisional Round Game Previews Begin
[81:22] — Kyle Long Interview
[123:06] — Peter Cowan "49ers Substation" Interview
[144:00] — Fyre Fest: Producer Send-off & Roundtable Problems
[159:00+] — End-of-show lottery and closing banter

NFL Divisional Round With Kyle Long, Electric Substations With Peter Cowan, Divisional Round Picks & Preview, Harbaugh To The Giants + Fyre Fest

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Summary

Pardon My Take — NFL Divisional Round, Electric Substations, Coaching Carousel, and More

Episode Overview

Key Segments & Insights

1. John Harbaugh to the Giants & NFL Coaching Carousel

2. News Tangents and Sports Media Musings

3. NFL Divisional Round Game Previews & Picks

A. Bills vs. Broncos

B. Niners at Seahawks

C. Texans at Patriots

D. Rams at Bears

4. Interview: Kyle Long

Highlights:

5. Interview: Peter Cowan (49ers Substation Theory)

6. Weekly Picks & Fyre Fest

Notable Quotes and Highlights

Memorable Tangents and Moments

Summary for Non-Listeners

Some Segment Timestamps

Summary

Pardon My Take — NFL Divisional Round, Electric Substations, Coaching Carousel, and More

Episode Overview

Key Segments & Insights

1. John Harbaugh to the Giants & NFL Coaching Carousel

2. News Tangents and Sports Media Musings

3. NFL Divisional Round Game Previews & Picks

A. Bills vs. Broncos

B. Niners at Seahawks

C. Texans at Patriots

D. Rams at Bears

4. Interview: Kyle Long

Highlights:

5. Interview: Peter Cowan (49ers Substation Theory)

6. Weekly Picks & Fyre Fest

Notable Quotes and Highlights

Memorable Tangents and Moments

Summary for Non-Listeners

Some Segment Timestamps