Parenting in a Tech World

Episode: Body Safety Starts at Home with Kimberly King

Host: Titania Jordan (Bark Technologies)
Guest: Kimberly King, Sexual Abuse Prevention Expert, Educator, and Author
Date: December 17, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode centers on equipping parents and caregivers with the knowledge, confidence, and resources to talk openly with children about body safety, boundaries, and preventing sexual abuse—especially in the context of rapid technological change and digital risks. Kimberly King shares her personal journey, practical advice for families, and insights from her books and educational programs. The conversation highlights the crucial need for prevention, early education, and honest communication in today’s tech-driven world.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Kimberly King's Origin Story and Motivation

• Personal Experience as Catalyst:
  King became an advocate for body safety after her young son experienced a "red flag" moment at a sleepover. Previous basic body safety conversations allowed him to recognize unsafe behavior and seek help, which inspired their co-authored book.
  "He came out and told me what happened. So he said, that his friend had tried to, you know, do unsafe things and broke the safety rules. ... just a little bit of rule information and he knew to say no." – Kimberly King [02:19]

• Importance of Early, Child-Friendly Conversations:
  The experience revealed gaps in common body safety talks—especially regarding risks from other children or trusted acquaintances—and inspired Kimberly and her son to co-write I Said No! so children could see themselves in the story.

Addressing Child Sexual Abuse and Body Safety

• Book Development and Survivors’ Stories:

  • I Said No! speaks directly to children, while Body Safety for Young Children: Empowering Caring Adults is a companion for adults, offering practical scripts, signs of grooming, lesson plans, interviews with survivors, and more.
  • Notable quote on educators missing signs:
    "Not once in, like, three years of this behavior did anybody ever ask him, are you okay? Is something going on? Nobody asked him. And he said to me, if somebody would have asked me, I would have told." – Kimberly King [06:38]

• Barriers to Disclosure:
  Many abused children don’t realize abuse is wrong or are manipulated by threats to stay silent. The secrecy and confusion make prevention education crucial.
  "Children are literally terrified because they're trying to protect another family member or not break up the family...it's a lot for a little seven or eight year old to have on their shoulders." – Kimberly King [08:33]

• Surprising and Alarming Trends:

  • Abuse typically occurs within trusted circles, not with strangers.
  • Child-on-child sexual abuse is climbing sharply (now 68% of reports vs. 40% previously), driven partly by children's exposure to online pornography and digital platforms.
    "It used to be accounting for 40% of all child sexual abuse, but now it's up to 68%... A lot of times young children will repeat the things that they see without any harm or ill intent." – Kimberly King [09:14]

The Digital Age: Online Safety, Tech, and Modern Dangers

• Early Exposure and Online Risks:
  Children often encounter explicit content or inappropriate requests—sometimes through apps like Roblox or social media—even under attentive parental monitoring.
  "I was actually working with a parent whose...daughter...was on Roblox...[her friend] requested an inappropriate picture...This poor little girl was...traumatized." – Kimberly King [11:41]

• Changing Childhood Norms & Impacts:
  The digital landscape is fundamentally altering brain development and trauma risk for today’s children. Parents must adapt by staying educated and proactive.

Body Safety Education: Approaches and Resources

• Kimberly's Programs:

  • Body Boss Boot Camp (ages 4-8) involves parents and kids with fun, bite-sized lessons drawing from her book, integrating music and movement to lower stress and increase engagement.
  • Free courses and resources for adults accompany her books, emphasizing emotional IQ, open communication, and safe environments.
  • "You don't have to make it this big scary ordeal… It's eight topics, eight minutes… little homework assignments for the kids... resources for the parents." – Kimberly King [13:55]_

• Conversations About Pornography:
  Encourage open dialogue early, using age-appropriate books (Good Pictures, Bad Pictures) and responding honestly to questions, so children come to adults rather than Google for answers.

Evolving Definitions & "Safe Adult" Criteria

• Updated in 2025 Edition:
  The new edition of I Said No! clarifies that a "safe adult" is not defined by title or role but by consistent trustworthy behavior, openness, and respect for boundaries—no longer assuming figures like "teacher" or "police officer" are inherently safe.
  "The new adult safe adult definition is basically anybody who would come in an emergency, makes you feel safe and comfortable, doesn't ask you to keep secrets, doesn't break your body safety rules, and is somebody who you can talk to about the really tough stuff." – Kimberly King [19:10]

• Essential Online Scenarios:
  The new edition includes illustrated scenarios relevant to today's digital risks, such as deception in online communications and video game safety.

Delaying Tech and Phones

• Personal Story:
  King regrets giving her middle child a smartphone at age 12, citing exposure to damaging content and negative effects on mental health.
  "That was probably the biggest mistake of my life because he got involved in Instagram...and just the algorithm feeding him things about depression and suicide and all this stuff and just it has messed him up." – Kimberly King [20:59]

• Cultural Shifts and Movements:
  The conversation references Jonathan Haidt’s "Anxious Generation" movement for raising awareness among parents about the true risks of youth tech use.

Prevention, Schools, and Advocacy

• Importance of School-Home Partnerships:
  Citing Erin's Law (mandating body safety education in schools in 38 states), Kimberly stresses that body safety only works best when parents, teachers, and children form "safety circles." Despite legal progress, many educators remain unaware of the law, showing continued gaps in training and resources.

• Micro-Lessons and Reducing Risk:
  Fleeting but frequent body safety discussions—identifying "red flag" and "green flag" adults—are shown to reduce abuse risk dramatically.

Responsible Social Media Sharing

• Warnings Against Posting Children’s Photos:
  Kimberly is increasingly alarmed by preschools, parents, and teachers posting pictures of children online, especially with hashtags that attract predators.
  "It's not okay for us to use your child's image to market our school...someone screenshotting your child's face and using...AI to create a CSAM video." – Kimberly King [26:01]

• AI Risks:
  Faces can be exploited using generative AI to produce disturbing, non-consensual material, sometimes spreading beyond the dark web.

Advocacy, Grief, and the Fight with Tech Giants

• HEAT Initiative and Collective Grief:
  King shares a powerful personal experience at a protest with parents who lost children to online sextortion—highlighting the urgent need for both societal and policy change.
  "When you go and you are with 32 people who are collectively mourning their children and it could have been prevented… I've never felt collective grief before." – Kimberly King [27:53]

• Big Tech's Role and Responsibility:
  The hosts discuss the lack of empathy from tech executives and the importance of legislative efforts like "Sammy's Law."

Generational Changes and Self-Regulation

• Gen Z & Gen Alpha:
  Noted for greater self-awareness of screen habits and open discussions about tech, sometimes surpassing adults in digital self-control.

• Sports & Extracurriculars:
  Kimberly notes how offline activities can deter overuse of tech and support wellness.

The Power of Prevention

• Key Statistic:
  "With just a little bit of prevention education, 95% of child sexual abuse can be prevented." – Kimberly King [33:32]

• Essential Practices:
  Early, calm, consistent communication about feelings, safe adults, boundaries, and digital risks fundamentally strengthens children’s ability to recognize danger and seek help.

• Notable Closing Quote:
  "If that little bugger would have just told me he showed his willy to somebody, I would laughed it off. And we could have fixed the problem. He didn't have to end it. ... When we have these lifelong conversations, then kids are more apt to tell us when they have a problem." – Kimberly King, relaying a parent's words [34:44]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• "Just that little tiny piece of information. And he came out and told me what happened." – Kimberly King [02:19]
• "Not once in, like, three years of this behavior did anybody ever ask him, are you okay?" – Kimberly King [06:38]
• "Child to child sexual abuse... now it's up to 68% of reported child sexual abuse." – Kimberly King [09:14]
• "I can't even imagine being like a seven year old and seeing some of the things that these seven and eight year olds get in their inbox or in their message. It's horrifying." – Kimberly King [12:22]
• "You don't have to make it this big scary ordeal... It's eight topics, eight minutes...resources for the parents as well." – Kimberly King [13:55]
• "The new adult safe adult definition is...doesn't ask you to keep secrets, doesn't break your body safety rules, and is somebody who you can talk to about the really tough stuff." – Kimberly King [19:10]
• "That was probably the biggest mistake of my life because he got involved in Instagram...and just the algorithm feeding him things about depression and suicide...it has messed him up." – Kimberly King [20:59]
• "If they know, they will take action. ...it creates like a safety circle where...there's just more protection for everybody." – Kimberly King [23:13-24:58]
• "It's not okay for us to use your child's image to market our school...AI to create a CSAM video." – Kimberly King [26:01]
• "I've never felt collective grief before. It was like. I couldn't even breathe. It was so incredible." – Kimberly King [27:53]
• "With just a little bit of prevention education, 95% of child sexual abuse can be prevented." – Kimberly King [33:32]

Resources Mentioned

• Kimberly King's Website: toughtopicsmom.com
• Instagram: @toughtopicsmom
• Books:
  • I Said No! (2025 Edition)
  • Body Safety for Young Children: Empowering Caring Adults
  • The Brave Knight by Diane Tarantini
  • Everyone Was Silent by Diane Tarantini
  • Good Pictures, Bad Pictures
• MomUnity Podcast (bite-sized, prevention-focused content): Available on YouTube

Segment Timestamps

• Intro & King's Background: [00:00-02:19]
• Personal Story & Book Genesis: [02:19-05:02]
• Adult-Focused Resource & Survivor Interviews: [05:02-07:15]
• Statistics, Online Trends & Early Porn Exposure: [09:03-13:13]
• Body Boss Boot Camp & Teaching Methods: [13:13-16:32]
• MomUnity Podcast Overview: [16:32-18:04]
• What’s New in I Said No! 2025 Edition: [18:09-20:54]
• Delaying Tech & Jonathan Haidt's Movement: [20:54-22:41]
• School Curriculums & Erin's Law: [22:41-25:30]
• Risks of Sharing Children's Images Online: [25:30-27:42]
• HEAT Initiative & Advocacy Grief: [27:42-30:23]
• Tech Executives, Legislation, & Parental Tech Modeling: [30:23-32:27]
• Generational Tech Use & Extracurriculars: [32:27-33:18]
• Prevention Power & Final Thoughts: [33:18-35:18]

Final Takeaways

• Prevention is powerful: Even minimal, open communication about body safety greatly reduces a child's risk—95% of abuse is preventable.
• Start early, keep conversations gentle, age-appropriate, and ongoing.
• Teach, model, and regularly revisit both offline and online safety.
• Parents, educators, and communities must work together for maximum protection.
• Awareness of technology’s double-edged sword is vital—for both adult decision-making and modeling healthy tech habits for kids.