Passion Struck with John R. Miles: Episode 595 - Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace

Release Date: April 8, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 595 of Passion Struck with John R. Miles, host John R. Miles engages in a profound conversation with Humble the Poet, an internationally bestselling author, spoken word artist, and creative visionary. The discussion centers around Humble's latest book, "Unanxious: 50 Simple Truths to Help Overthinkers Feel Less Stressful and More Calm," delving deep into the nature of anxiety, its societal roots, and practical strategies for managing it.

Defining Moments and Personal Journeys

John R. Miles opens the conversation by inviting Humble to share a defining moment in his life. Humble recounts:

"In 2010, I decided to walk away from my stable career as an elementary school teacher to pursue my creative itches. At the time, I thought I was just a mediocre teacher... It was one of the largest turning points in my life, where now, as I live and have such unique, beautiful experiences, I wonder, what if you didn't pull that trigger?" [07:29]

This pivotal decision not only transformed his external circumstances but also reshaped his internal self-perception, highlighting the importance of authenticity and self-compassion.

Anxiety as a Signal, Not a Flaw

A central theme of the episode is the redefinition of anxiety. Humble emphasizes that anxiety should be viewed as an indicator rather than a defect:

"Anxiety isn't herpes. It's not dandruff. It's a signal. It's like hunger or something that we need to pay attention to. It's something that, when it's tuned correctly, is one of our greatest gifts. It's on our team." [19:04]

He advocates for embracing anxiety as a natural emotion, akin to hunger, which requires management rather than eradication. This perspective shifts the focus from trying to eliminate anxiety to understanding and utilizing it constructively.

Societal Structures and Modern Isolation

The conversation delves into how modern societal structures contribute to widespread anxiety and isolation. Humble critiques the educational system:

"The structure of the school, the classroom, the clock, the hierarchy... we're preparing children for an economy, not a community." [12:24]

He argues that standardized testing and a one-size-fits-all approach stifles creativity and fails to nurture essential soft skills like empathy and cooperation. This systemic issue not only hampers individual growth but also erodes the fabric of genuine community connections.

Furthermore, Humble discusses the impact of hyper-individualism and fast-food relationships fostered by social media:

"We have fast food versions of connection being on our phones... These are fast food versions of things... People encouraging us to feel sorry for ourselves." [23:16]

He underscores the necessity of authentic, face-to-face connections to build empathy and resilience, contrasting them with shallow, screen-based interactions that leave individuals emotionally undernourished.

Redefining Success and the Overachiever's Anxiety Trap

Humble explores the often overlooked relationship between high achievement and heightened anxiety. He explains how the fear of failure drives many to an anxious existence:

"It's not about succeeding. It's about avoiding failure." [46:02]

He suggests redefining success not as the attainment of specific goals but as the journey and personal growth experienced along the way. By setting "impossible goals," individuals can focus on direction rather than the unattainable finish lines that fuel constant anxiety.

Humble also shares a personal insight:

"I realized the less masks I have to wear, the easier it is for me to breathe... The direction is so much more important than the destination." [46:02]

This approach encourages embracing continuous personal evolution without the paralyzing pressure of meeting external expectations.

Guilt, Shame, and the Path to Self-Compassion

Addressing the detrimental effects of guilt and shame, Humble advocates for shifting towards self-compassion:

"Guilt and shame don't help us improve, they just make us tired and sad." [56:45]

He illustrates this with the metaphor:

"You can't shame a caterpillar into becoming a butterfly faster." [56:45]

By treating oneself with the same kindness as one would a trusted employee or assistant, individuals can foster a more supportive internal dialogue. Humble emphasizes:

"We have to be our own best friends... Recognize that the guilt we think we're feeling is really us doing an old practice of trying to metabolize other people's pain." [56:45]

This paradigm shift from self-criticism to self-compassion is presented as essential for emotional well-being and effective anxiety management.

Practical Strategies for Managing Anxiety

Throughout the episode, Humble offers actionable advice grounded in his personal experiences and research:

1. Mind-Body Techniques:

   • Grounding Exercises: Starting his book with grounding exercises like unclenching the jaw and relaxing the tongue helps meet readers "where they're at" [19:04].
   • Physical Practices: Engaging in activities like jiu-jitsu teaches resilience by exposing oneself to controlled stressors, allowing the nervous system to adapt [32:20].

2. Reframing Thoughts:

   • Language Shift: Changing "I should" to "I could" reduces self-imposed tension and fosters a more compassionate internal dialogue [23:16].
   • Separating Identity from Emotions: Phrasing feelings as "I feel anxious because..." instead of "I have anxiety" helps individuals dissociate their identity from their emotions [32:20].

3. Building Authentic Connections:

   • Prioritize Real Relationships: Focusing on meaningful, face-to-face interactions over superficial online connections enhances empathy and emotional support [23:16].
   • Community Engagement: Actively participating in local communities strengthens social bonds and reduces feelings of isolation.

4. Embracing Challenges:

   • Voluntary Exposure: Deliberately placing oneself in anxiety-inducing situations and persevering builds resilience and emotional regulation [32:20].
   • Resilience Through Adversity: Recognizing that challenges are opportunities for growth rather than threats [32:20].

Conclusions and Final Insights

As the conversation wraps up, Humble distills the essence of his book into a powerful thesis:

"There's nothing wrong with you for feeling anxious. It's completely normal. It's like goosebumps. It's like hunger. It's a normal part of this." [61:20]

He advocates for viewing anxiety as a universal, manageable emotion rather than a personal failing. By fostering self-compassion, embracing resilience, and prioritizing authentic connections, individuals can navigate an anxious world more gracefully.

John R. Miles echoes these sentiments, highlighting the collective nature of anxiety and the need for societal solutions alongside personal strategies.

Notable Quotes with Attribution and Timestamps

• Humble the Poet:

  • "Anxiety isn't herpes. It's not dandruff. It's a signal. It's like hunger or something that we need to pay attention to." [19:04]
  • "You can't shame a caterpillar into becoming a butterfly faster." [56:45]
  • "The world is a dumpster fire. It's not your fault. And there is nothing wrong with you for feeling anxious while existing here." [40:10]
  • "There's nothing wrong with you for feeling anxious. It's completely normal." [61:20]

• John R. Miles:

  • "When you don't take the effort to build [connections], they collapse." [28:31]

Key Takeaways

1. Reframe Anxiety: Understand anxiety as a natural signal rather than a personal flaw.
2. Redefine Success: Focus on personal growth and direction instead of unattainable finish lines.
3. Cultivate Self-Compassion: Replace self-criticism with kindness to foster emotional resilience.
4. Prioritize Authentic Connections: Engage in meaningful relationships to enhance empathy and reduce isolation.
5. Embrace Challenges: Actively seek and endure controlled stressors to build resilience.

Conclusion

This episode of Passion Struck serves as a compelling exploration of anxiety and its profound impact on individual and societal levels. Through Humble the Poet's insightful perspectives and practical advice, listeners are encouraged to transform their relationship with anxiety, fostering a life of intentionality, resilience, and genuine connection.

For those seeking deeper understanding and strategies to manage anxiety, Humble's book "Unanxious" is highly recommended. The episode not only offers valuable wisdom but also underscores the importance of community and collective action in addressing the pervasive issue of anxiety in modern society.

Find More:

• Book: Unanxious: 50 Simple Truths to Help Overthinkers Feel Less Stressful and More Calm
• Website: passionstruck.com
• Newsletter: Sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter for exclusive content and resources.
• YouTube: Access full video episodes on the Passionstruck YouTube channel.

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