John Miles (3:25)

This extraordinary community in which over a.

John Miles (3:28)

Third of you returns every week. As always, if this show sparks something in you, I'd be grateful if you shared it with a friend or family member or left a five star review on Apple or Spotify.

John Miles (3:38)

Both truly helped this show grow.

John Miles (3:40)

Now let's talk about today's episode with a guest that so many of you have asked me to bring back. Intuitive Medium and Grief guide Susan Grau. Susan's first appearance last year in episode 524 touched something deep in our audience, and ever since I've received continue messages saying, when is Susan coming back? Today she returns to have a conversation about what happens after life breaks you open. It's about loss in intuition, identity and healing, connection and meaning, and what it truly takes to become someone new when the old version of you can't survive what happened. Today we explore how intuition actually communicates through the body and mind, the psychology of grief, and how to hear inner guidance when life feels loud. If you want to go deeper into this theme of becoming, I invite you to join theignitedlife.net, my substack community, where every week I break down the science stories and practices behind reinvention, emotional health, and intentional living. Now let's step into this beautiful conversation with Susan Grau. Thank you for choosing passionstruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now let that journey begin.

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Thanks.

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John Miles (6:25)

I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome back Susan Krau. Welcome, Susan. How are you today?

Susan Grau (6:31)

I'm doing great, thanks. So good to be here, John.

John Miles (6:34)

I had so many people reach out, both from the podcast and from the YouTube requesting I do another session with you. So I am so glad we could put this together.

Susan Grau (6:44)

Excited too.

John Miles (6:46)

For those of you who weren't part of the first conversation with Susan, I think we need to do a little bit of a grounding here. So last time we explored your extraordinary near death experience and how it ended up setting you on this path of incredible healing and connection to others. For those who might have missed that conversation, can you go into a little bit of giving them some perspective on what happened?

Susan Grau (7:13)

Absolutely. I was a little girl, I was almost five years old, and I was playing port with some boys and they said if I wanted to continue playing, I needed to get up and get popsicles out of an unplugged freezer, which I was not aware of in our garage. And I got up inside the freezer and they closed the freezer door, they closed the garage door and they ran home. And I had a very profound experience of just being in this space of terror to seeing white lights and being pulled from my body. And I ended up in different spaces or dimensions. I call them rooms, but I would say they were dimensions. And I got to see the difference of what it's like here and what it's like there. And lessons. And I came back with those lessons. I Got to be in the room of heart's desires, which was this beautiful space of people's desires and dreams and wishes. And then I moved into the room of knowledge, which, again, another dimension which was where we do our contracts and just saw so many beautiful, amazing things. And what it did for me is it taught me about personal empowerment. It's taught me about not running from things, but facing them. And of course, over my lifetime, I didn't listen to everything they said, but I learned that what I run from chases me. And what I try to control controls me. And I lear learned how to face my. What I would call my fears or my demons inside and to recognize that there was more beyond this. There's something so much more beautiful than just the space we're in.

John Miles (8:51)

Susan, I just want to go back to the room of hearts desires for a second, because I remember in the first conversation you said you experienced some light beings. And what they were there to tell you is that not all desires are granted, but sometimes what people desire the most isn't good for them.

Susan Grau (9:09)

Absolutely.

John Miles (9:11)

And I think that's a gap that probably many of us fall into, is we really want something, we desire something, and then we get frustrated because it's not granted. It could be you're praying to the universe. It could be you're praying to God. If you're a Christian or Jewish or Muslim believer, what is that gap, and how do those light beings convey that to us?

Susan Grau (9:38)

Well, I think for me, it was. I thought something should be a particular way, so I would do everything in my power to create that, including banging my head against walls and asking everyone to join me. And I wanted that to be what I thought it should be and what it should look like instead of going with what they needed it to be or look like. I didn't understand that there was. And even though I had seen it, John, I didn't understand that there was more to the process here than just what we want. I thought if you wanted it bad enough, you could create it. And I forgot to include them in that. Sometimes things aren't good for us. So what I saw in that room were people saying things like, God, my mother's sick, please don't let her die, and I want a new car and have my dad buy it for me, and things like that. Just all different levels of prayers and wants and needs. And I asked them if they answered all them, and they said, no. Susie, sometimes what people desire the most isn't good for them. And I didn't understand that. I Spent my whole life banging my head against the wall until one day that knowledge came forward when I was ready for it. And I realized that I just have to follow the path. I have to do the next right thing. And if I do the next right thing, things will unfold in front of me that need to unfold. And the things that are meant to be blessed or blocked will be blessed or blocked. The problem with a block wall is you can bang your head through it, battered and bruised at best, or you can shift. And we are always banging our heads into that wall because our brain says we must. Our soul is saying, wait, something's not right. Why isn't this working? We actually verbalize that language. Why isn't this working? Why am I not getting what I want? Why am I not becoming the richest man on the planet? Or why is my job not working out? Or whatever it is. We're actually. Our soul is speaking that to us, but our brain's going, no, keep pushing and it'll happen. It'll. What we learn is that pushing as we go through this journey, hopefully we learn that pushing our way through it is not necessarily. It's a forced solution. And what I've learned is a forced solution is never a good solution, ever. We want it to unfold. And that's what they were trying to teach me, of course. Never listened in my whole journey.

John Miles (11:51)

Well, I was going through a men's program at my church last month, and we were studying spiritual warfare. And one of the things that the series speaker that we were following on this was talking to us is that often Earth time does not equate to spiritual time. And the point he was trying to make is that in Earth time, we expect to have answers to our desires happen overnight. And in spiritual lens, that's not how things unfold. You're nodding. So is this something that you've experienced as well?

Susan Grau (12:28)

Throughout my whole life, things always come when they're meant to come, but they don't have time there. It's different. They're not set by a clock. And people say to me, I heard that my loved ones, when they die, they can't be with God till this particular amount of time or this or that. They always have this time. And I say, whose calendar are they going by? Are you going by human calendar? And that's what we're doing. And spiritual warfare, for me, more than anything, is my brain fighting my soul and what my soul knows. Something pops into my brain that I think is right, and my soul is screaming at me. And I'm not listening. And I think this should come to me at this time. And if I have a script basically in my head that I've learned over my life journey as a child, I've learned this is the script and this is how it's supposed to look if I'm doing it right instead of letting things unfold the way spirit wants it to. But what I've learned throughout my journey, and I still don't always listen, so I've learned it, but I don't always follow it, which is, of course, the human condition, isn't it? But what I've learned is that I'm not going to receive everything in my own timing, that it's not going to look exactly how I want it to look, and I don't have to try to control it. I can do the next right thing, do the footwork, and everything else will unfold as it's meant to.

John Miles (13:50)

It is so interesting how these things end up playing out and how when the timing does come, it's almost that it was cosmic when everything lined up. I know that's the case for me because I had been given a calling, I call it from my spirit guides that I was supposed to help the beaten, broken, helpless, hopeless, broken of the world. And for the longest time I was like, who? Who in the heck am I supposed to be helping? And I think if the answer would have come to me very quickly, which it did not, I think it would have had a completely different impact than what I feel I'm having now. Because I had to do a lot of soul searching first to realize that I was actually one of the people I was called to help, which I didn't see in myself at first because it's hard to have that self awareness that something is broken inside of you. But more than that, I needed that awakening to understand how I could help them. Because I think we're best positioned to help people that we once were in ways that we struggled with ourselves. So for me, I think part of it was I had to go on this earthly journey myself, of spiritual awakening to really get deeper into myself and really understanding what the symptoms were showing me, which was symptomatic of something larger, which I call unmattering than I think so many people are experiencing today. Do you think that's a common walk that people have to go through?

Susan Grau (15:30)

Absolutely. I think about my journey and like I've shared in the last podcast, I have a lot of death by suicide in my family, both my brothers and my mother. And I went through infertility, and I went through bad adoptions. There's all these things that I had to experience. And now in my life, I help people with those things. I don't think I would have been capable of helping them had I not understood it. I think that book knowledge is important, but it is not living knowledge. And when you live a particular way in life, that knowledge becomes real. And the understanding of how to heal that. Now we have tons of people on the planet that goes through a lot and never heal anything. And they're trying to help people, unfortunately. Heal thyself and then be willing to open that door to helping others. But every experience I've ever had has been a door for me. Every wrong decision has been a lesson and a means to find the right decision. The script tells us, don't make a bad decision. Right? The script we learn as children, don't be bad, don't do it wrong, do it right. Get but good grades. All these scripts we learn. And what I've learned on my journey is that through my own. What I wouldn't even call failure, but it's a bad word, my own experiences that didn't work out, I learned what did. So in actuality, my greatest lessons were my darkest lessons. And when I got that, it turned a light bulb on for me and I went, oh, now I understand. Because I could go through my life saying, why me? Why did I go through all that? Why did I have to experience all that? Now I understand. These lessons that were so painful taught me how to be more. I was more for it, not in spite of it. Which is a huge empowering comment, because I think we go. In spite of everything I've been through, I'm still a good person. No, because of everything I've been through, I'm a good person. And I chose that. I chose that route. I chose healing others and helping others with my experiences. So the deeper we get into our soul understanding of why we experience what we experience, the more we can help people. What we do with our brains is go to, I can't do this. I can't handle it. I'm not enough. I won't get through it. What am I supposed to do with this? I can't live through this. We go to all those places and that's our grief process. And we hope that we get to the other side of it that says, okay, I'm empowered by this, and I can do something with this that can help the greater good. Not the common good necessarily, but the greater good more and expand that even beyond what I think I'm capable of expanding because I have taken the time to heal and to be more for it.

John Miles (18:15)

I love that. So we have people of understanding of mediumship from many different levels. Some, I think, are full believers. And if they're one of your followers, they understand it extremely well. We might have other people who are tuning in for the first time. What is evidential mediumship and how does it actually work?

Susan Grau (18:39)

I wish I knew how it actually worked. I always go, what you know? When I went, okay, so let me explain that. When I give people information about their loved ones that I simply could not know, and they say, how could you know that? And their hand goes over their mouth, I'm thinking, how could I know that? And what it's really about is opening up that pathway with spirit. Mediumship is speaking to the people who have crossed over, because love does not end. They want to be near us as much as we want them near us. And love is a survival. Love survives all, everything, and it's universal. I've never met one person on the planet that hasn't at least felt love once. Everyone has this ability to connect with love and mediumship. I know that in some religious sectors it's considered very demonic and bad and all those things. But for me, my belief in what I've been able to do is help people heal with connection to their loved ones. They are always giving us signs. It is everywhere. And to believe that we love so extensively and give our whole souls to someone, and then God's spirit just takes them away and they never exist with us again. And that doesn't fit for my understanding of what they taught me. So what I do is I might be with in a room with someone, and I'll just feel their loved one or someone that has passed, and I'll give them information. For instance, I might get their name, and I might know their last conversation, or they'll tell me what they did for a living or what they loved or how they're giving signs, and those signs are relevant to the person I'm talking to. And all of this is making sense to that person, shockingly to me also. And it just comes flowing in. And I don't read minds, so I'm absolutely certain it's coming from a greater place, a more beautiful place. Our loved ones want us to know they're there, that they haven't just left us and they don't exist any longer. And they do everything in their power to give us that. The problem is that we are so resistant to that. Yet in the Bible and in other ways that we see study, it's very clear that mediumship is in existence. It's very clear that the sermon on the mound was a communication. It's very clear that Adam and Eve. Eve had communication. It's very clear that Joseph and Mary had communication with angels, and they were communicating telepathically. And that's really what it feels like. Do I say that I'm one of those. No, I am not. None of those beautiful entities. However, the communication still exists, and they are trying desperately to get to us. There's an area of the brain that is tested with mediumship where they actually can show a change, where it lights up, where it doesn't when we're not in mediumship. So that's so interesting to me.

John Miles (21:31)

Before we continue, I want to pause and share something that feels connected to today's conversation. Many of you know Susan not only from her last appearance here, but also from her own show, Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons, which now lives on the Passion Stuck Network. Her podcast has become a powerful space for exploring intuition, healing, and the deeper meaning inside our life experiences. And I am so grateful to help bring her voice to even more people. And part of what Susan and I explore today is what happens when life breaks you open, how identity shifts, how old stories fall away, and how you begin to rebuild the person you were becoming. Those moments don't just happen in adulthood. They start in childhood, at the very beginning when kids first wonder, do I matter? Do I belong? Is it safe to be myself? That's one of the reasons I created my upcoming children's picture book, you Matter Limma, to help kids feel grounded in.

John Miles (22:25)

Their worth before the world has a chance to shake it loose.

John Miles (22:29)

If you want to help a child in your life grow up with a foundation of belonging and emotional strength, visit.

John Miles (22:34)

Umatterluma or Barnes and Noble to get.

John Miles (22:37)

Early access to the book. Now a quick word from our sponsors. Thank you for supporting those who support the show. You're listening to Passion Struck on the Passion Struck Network. Now back to my conversation with Susan Grau.

John Miles (22:56)

And it's interesting to me, too, because before I started to understand this better, I used to think mediumship was more of an innate gift. But I think Susan Giesman is a good example of someone who has shown that it's a developmental skill.

Susan Grau (23:12)

Absolutely.

John Miles (23:13)

And one of the things that I've really learned is that I think you've got spirit guardians that are around you all the time. But I believe you have to invite Them in for them to take action into your life. And I think that's a skill or a practice that a lot of people really get confused about. How does someone go about doing that if they're not comfortable with the idea or with the knowledge that these beings are trying to guide them, but they might not be allowing them to do?

Susan Grau (23:49)

It's a willingness. That's all it is. And it's just a conversation, just like we're having. So I wake up in the morning and I am willing to connect in to something greater than me. People do it every day with prayer. They do it every day, but they don't understand when it's spirit guides, it's just a matter of saying, I invite you into my day today to guide me and show me. Guide really literally means Spirit guides literally mean a spirit guide. And they're guiding us. And it's just a matter of connecting in and welcoming them. Because we have free will. So if we didn't have free will, we'd have no reason to be here because we would not learn from our own choices and decisions in our soul process. So free will is urgently important. It's extremely important. And so we have to say to them, will you guide me in my free will choices so that I make better decisions today? It's like the little devil over here and the little angel over here and you know, little angel saying, don't do that. Don't. Don't pick up that candy and put it in your mouth, little one and the other. Everyone's going, but you want that candy really bad. That's our brain versus our spirit guide speaking to us and giving us information. So I want that in my life. So it's just a matter of, am I going to ask them? And again, it's just a conversation. It's a very simple one. Please come in and help me through my day. Even if you don't believe does it harm to do it, you will find no, it actually helps you. It actually guides you and you'll see the results. So it's just a matter of people tell me, but I don't believe they're there. And I go, that's okay. I don't always believe things are happening right in front of my face, but I still go with it. And I learned that, oh, this is actually real. This is changing how I do my life, how I interact, how I make choices. I do end up hearing that little voice on my shoulder saying, don't go down that road.

John Miles (25:39)

Do you believe that there are both positive spiritual Guides and negative spiritual guides, and that sometimes the negative is trying to block out the one who's trying to positively influence you.

Susan Grau (25:54)

That's not really my belief system. I believe spirit guides are always for the greater good, but sometimes we don't like what we hear, and so we think they're negative. Like, I have been told things or given guidance to things that I go, no way. That's wrong. That that's not going to work. And they're pushing me into it. And ultimately, if I take that action, it always works. But I'm thinking they're giving me negative information also. I do believe that there are imprints of negative energy, but I don't believe that when we leave this planet, we are not healed. I believe we are healed, we are cured, we are fixed, we are love, and we are loved. And so that's what I saw. So, no, what I believe is our brain becomes our natural enemy. And it has. We have to have it to function on this planet. We have to have ego in order to survive. It's your survival mechanism. It's a necessary thing. But I also think that the ego can go against us.

John Miles (26:55)

Susan, what are some of the ways that spirits communicate? Because it's not always like you're getting a direct message. Sometimes it comes in really unexpected ways. Could you give some different examples of that?

Susan Grau (27:09)

Well, obviously they love creatures in nature, so they'll use creatures in nature to communicate with us that they're around. Their most important message is, I'm here. I'm here, and I love you. I'm here and I. I'm in your world. I have not left you. That's their most important message. But they will do things like turn radios on and off or bring us. You might say, play me the song we got married with when all of a sudden you're hearing that song everywhere you go.

John Miles (27:35)

Or.

Susan Grau (27:35)

Or I might be outside, and I might be thinking about nothing really. And I might see a hummingbird that buzzes by my head, and I may think nothing. But the next day, for whatever reason, it feels real to me in a different kind of way. And this rush of, oh, my mom's energy is with me right now, will come over me. People always say to me, well, I see butterflies. And so how do I know it's them? And I say, because of what you feel, not what. What are you feeling? What is it eliciting? What's the emotion coming into you at that moment? Because I see butterflies all the time, and I don't think anything. And then again, that One time where it's coming towards me and I think, I feel like that's someone I love and they land and it lands on me. There it is, right? There it is. You can't deny it. What are the odds? We have to look at Spirit speaks to us in repetition. So whenever I am repeatedly getting the same thing, I know that is someone on the other side trying to connect with me. And that's my best way to know it. So it's not just a random one time thing. It is repetition, repetition. And that's how I learn how to speak with them, is through repetition, behavior, the repetition of their behavior in mind.

John Miles (28:46)

Yeah, it's interesting. Last month, for a period of about three weeks, we had a monarch butterfly in different forms that kept showing up and we kept seeing it. And typically we'll see butterflies and they go. But what struck me was for me, I was going through a period of time where I was trying to decide where I should house my next book. And I was really conflicted on where I should take it. Large Big five publisher, self publish. Do I, do I go to a smaller imprint? And it was really important because at the backdrop of this is the topic is really core to the message, to the mission that I was given many years ago. And to me it's the whole time I've written this book, I've really asked that the words not be mine, but the words that people are meant to hear. And so I felt that this butterfly was there trying to guide me on that decision. And then once I made the decision, the butterfly kind of disappeared.

Susan Grau (29:48)

That's how it works. They will utilize, especially creatures. But I think, because I think energetically, it's easy to push them around and move them around and have them come in front of you. And we witness them so readily, we're willing to witness them. It's do we connect? The message is the question. And once we get the message, there it is. It's like the repetition happens, we get the message and then it stops. How coincidental can that be if it happens to us over and over in our journey? We just have to be present. One of the things I probably said in the last podcast, and I'll say it in every podcast I go on, is life is in session. Be present. If you don't know the flowers that you just walked past and what color they were, how would you know if you're walking with a spirit guide or a spirit loved one, how would you know when they send you a message? Because you're not present your Mind's somewhere else. So you have to be present in the moments. It's like even on a podcast. And I say this truthfully, we can start. Our mind can start going because someone's talking. You have to pull yourself back and be present, present in the moment to give the messages that spirit wants you to give. And it doesn't matter if you call spirit God, it doesn't matter if you say spirit Jesus, it doesn't matter if you say spirit Buddha. None of that matters. What matters is that you're connected to the entity on the other side, the higher vibrational energy, the source of your existence, and it's being present to do. Which means you're going to see the messages. If you're presenting, you don't have to look for them. They'll come to you. And we, even with spirit guides and loved ones, we don't have to look for them. They come to us. It's a matter of working that muscle. It's a muscle. So here's what's interesting, is people say, well, how do I work the muscle? Which might be your next question. It doesn't matter if I pick up one pound can of beans or I pick up a one pound weight, if I'm lifting it the same way, I'm working the muscle. So there are all different ways to work those muscles, and we want to work that muscle, that mediumship muscle. So when I am present in the moment, I'm able to bring in what's around me. I'm able to feel and sense. So maybe I call it awareness, acceptance, and action. I'm aware something's in the room and something's changed. My hair stands on end or I'm getting goosebumps, or I'm feeling a whoosh or coldness or warmth. Something's changed. I become aware, they become aware. I'm aware and they're excited. Then I accept. I say I accept something's here, and I'm going to be present in this moment, to take it in, and I'm going to accept it. And they go, oh, she's accepted me. And then I go to action, which is trust. And I just say, I trust you're here to give me a message. I'm open and ready and willing, and I'm present, and boom, here comes the message. And that's how it works for me. And if you practice that three step, if you. And actually, those three steps are in a lot of psychological studies, a lot of times you'll read books and they'll talk about. They may Use different words. Awareness, acceptance and action. But again, it's being present in that moment and taking those steps. And once you do, here they come. So it's not difficult. It's simple, but it's not easy because being present is very difficult. We have a brain that wants to be everywhere else. That's why we have anxiety, because we're always projecting into the future.

John Miles (33:09)

I always say we have the pinball brain. The brain is like a pinball and it's constantly bouncing off the next distraction that hits us.

Susan Grau (33:19)

Exactly, exactly. And it loves trauma. Right. It loves to be in. I'll say drama. It loves to be in the drama of everything. And that's a lack of understanding. Right. Where we need to be. So something happens and someone will call me and say, I'm so upset this happened. And I'll go, what's your soul telling you about it? And what are you learning from this? Not I'm a victim of it, but how can I empower myself with this knowledge and this feeling? How can this feeling I have of being out of sorts actually empower me to do the next right thing? Yeah.

John Miles (33:56)

And you mentioned Susan research, because as I've been doing more research, there's a growing body of both scientific as well as religious research on mediumship that's being put out into the world. And also on past life memories, are there certain studies or findings that you think are most compelling?

Susan Grau (34:21)

Well, I love anything Raymond Moody puts out about his research that he does and connecting him with people who have NDEs. I can't cite the research, but I'm always reading it. I wish I could cite it, but I am always reading it. And I'll go online and read about mediumship and religion and mediumship. And my research is personal because I live it every day. I remember when my mother in law, who is on the other side now, so she knows I'm going to talk about her. She was telling me she was very Catholic and I grew up as a young girl with Catholicism. And she was telling me the priests say it's evil. And the priestess and the priest that. So there was this young priest at her church. He was really hip and cool. He had long hair, he played guitar, he was really hip. All the kids loved him. And I went to him and said, I'm told this is evil. And he said, well, I don't know if it's necessarily evil. He says, it depends upon what you're doing with something, doesn't it doesn't. That's the intent matter. And I said, well, let me tell you what I see in you. Because he didn't believe. He didn't believe, but intent mattered to him. And I had good intention, and I appreciated that. But I ended up telling him what I saw around him. And he said, these are things you could not know unless a loved one was here telling you about that conversation and what happened. You could not know this about me. You could study me everywhere on land and you would not find this information. I believe you. What is your intention of telling me? And I said twofold. One is for my own feeling of I need to be told I'm not evil. And the other is to open that pathway for you. And after that, he would talk to me and say, hey, you know what happened? And so I felt I wasn't vilified. I was actually told what truth is. He told me truth, which is my intention of doing mediumship. My reasons for doing what I do matter. So if I'm going into mediumship for my ego and I have to be right, and I meet mediums like that all the time, they'll say, I'm absolutely right. I know I am. And if you don't believe, I mean, you're going to find out, and all this other stuff. And I just look at them and say, you don't have to be right. You just have to give what you have. And if it helps them, wonderful. It's like when people talk about past life regressions and everyone goes, no, there's no such thing thing. And like, okay, it's okay. You have that belief system that you don't believe there's past lives. But if you were to do a regression and let's say you were afraid of drowning this whole life journey, you never went on a boat. You wanted to, but you had this deep, dark fear of it so intensely. And you went into a past life regression with someone with hypnotic abilities, and you found out in that regression that you believe and saw an experience, experienced a death on water from a falling out off a boat as a child in a previous journey. And you came back from that and said to me, oh, my gosh, I now understand I'm gonna go get on a boat. Because now I know it's not anything I need to worry about in this life journey, then it's done its job. So regardless of whether you believe in that or not, it's done its job to help you heal. And that's what mediumship is. It does its job to help you heal.

John Miles (37:29)

So if more people truly understood what happens when we die, how do you think it would change how we live?

Susan Grau (37:36)

Absolutely, 100%. And that's the problem. We would no longer learn. We would do the right thing always, never learning. We might as well stay on the other side. So our lessons are our darkest moments. My darkest past is my greatest teacher. And it's what I know I don't want. And I. It's taught me to be better. So we have to have these lessons in order to grow and expand. If we knew what was waiting for us, what was on the other side, we'd never make a free will choice. We'd make a choice being safe. We would have fear of making the wrong decision where the wrong decision teaches you the right way.

John Miles (38:18)

I sometimes believe our souls choose our life experiences. But then it makes me wonder if that's the case, then why do our souls sometimes choose profound hardship for the life that we're going to experience?

Susan Grau (38:35)

Well, our souls choose the basic impact of the life. So let me give an example. If I choose to be married on this journey in my contracts, and this was in the room of knowledge, by the way, that I had witnessed when I was young. So let's say I chose to be married. I will be married hands down, if that is a contract, who I marry, how long I married, the kind of marriage I have, is it a healthy marriage, is it a toxic marriage? All of those things, what I do in my marriage, all of those things are free will to help me grow and expand. So that's why free will is in existence here. And that's why we have contracts. So a contract is the basic major opportunity of growth that we say I want my soul to understand and resonate in the understanding of marriage. I didn't. And that's one of my contracts. It's the bigger picture marriage, it's what I've decided I want it to look like. But the journey and lesson in it is my free will and the free will of the person I married, what he does in the marriage or she, you know, what they decide they want it to look like, what you know, their free will choices. So we have two people with free will choices. What are we going to do with that? And how do we learn to work together and grow and work as a team and be in unity? Because isn't that what this is really about is the unification of the human existence? We are so cut in apart and separate. We have separated ourselves so much and we want a commonality to come together. And that includes in the small things like marriage and children. And there's commonality in that. And we expand our greater awareness and consciousness, the consciousness of the universe when we come in unity and we are beings that don't understand total unity here, I think we get it on the other side, I just think that we want to expand that knowledge and show ourselves. So if I were to say to you, the ocean is beautiful. It is everything. It shines, it glimmers, it's salt water. And you had never seen it, it sticks to your skin, you roll in the waves and you had never experienced that. You read about it, I've told you about it, you've looked at pictures of it, but you've never truly experienced it. Would you really know the ocean until you do? And that's why we're here. We want to understand, understand everything. We are creatures that want to know. And so we come here for that. And in that is free will. It has to be. Otherwise we're just robotic.

John Miles (41:17)

Yeah. Two of the guests that I've had On this show, Dr. Andy or Andrew Newberg and Dr. David Yaden, are really involved in trying to understand spiritual experiences. And Yadin is doing a lot of psychedelic research to understand those spiritual experiences, but also to understand why it's so connected to the feeling of awe. But there's been a lot of work that shows that psychedelic research and NDE survivors describe remarkably similar encounters. What do you think that reveals about the nature of consciousness?

Susan Grau (41:57)

I think it reveals that we're tapping into that area of our brain that is able to click in or connect in and we have this ability to actually be in both worlds. I feel like I walk in both worlds and when they utilize these chemicals, they're able to simulate those experiences because it exists over and over in our journey. We go there, we come back, we go there, we come back and we're able to tap into the there, whatever that is, it opens up that area of our knowledge of our consciousness. It literally opens it. Now, something like people also say that if you, when you die, DMT takes over, medicines can take over and create. They create the experience, but they don't bring you the same kind of knowledge. The one on one. The gravity of the truth of consciousness, the beauty of the truth of consciousness, it does go far beyond that. With an nde, I find, yes, it's similar, but yet an NDE is. It's real, it's reality, and you're in a different reality completely, spiritually, emotionally, physically, in every way. So there is a difference, but it does open that pathway. The lessons that we learn when we're there are similar but not quite as profound when we take psychedelics, at least that's what I've found so far. Does that mean that it's not valuable? Absolutely not. It's just extremely valuable. And I think that they're going to find that what they're tapping into is that portion of our knowledge base, our spiritual beings, not just the brain, which is what psychedelics tap into, but the soul. That's what we want to get them to. When you cross over, you're not just. Their brain is a word I use for also our hearts. Our hearts have 40,000 neurons. You know that it has learning capacity, memory capability. That's what goes with us when we leave. Our brain has a lot of junk in it. So when you're doing something like psychedelics, you're tapping into the brain area. The soul area is another whole experience. When you leave this planet, the soul changes dramatically. And things with your soul and the brain, knowledge, both which you cannot create to my knowledge with psychedelics. So there's just a step beyond that. Does that mean it's not valuable? Absolutely, it's very valuable. However, I think we forget that the soul is involved with leaving the planet and coming to this planet. It's not just putting a chemical in our brain and moving through that. And I don't say just meaning belittling it again, I think it's extremely valuable. You're getting a taste of what it is.

John Miles (44:42)

One of the things I find, and you have a podcast as well, is that I think a lot of people listen to the podcast, but fewer really apply what they hear on the show into their lives. And so I personally been trying to create workbooks and other things, get people to take the next step so that you apply what you hear. But where I'm going with this is I think the same thing happens with people who've had powerful experiences. They have the experience, they get the knowledge, but then they don't know how to integrate them into their life. What's your guidance for that?

Susan Grau (45:21)

Well, I would say to you, if you don't know what to do in your journey, you come in front of you, you bring your highest, most perfect self and ask your highest self when I'm confused or I need to integrate knowledge or understanding and I don't know where to go to find it. I literally will say highest self, most perfect self. Susan, what would you do? And you will, hands down, get the right answer every single time. Because you're talking to the greatest part of you, the most magnificent part of you, which is your soul, your soul is a vine to the divine. In my book, I talk about this. And that vine to the divine is your ability to tap into the knowledge base that you need. So at the end of the book, I have little workbook. At the end of every chapter, actually, I have a little workbook integration moment. It's an education moment. And I walk them through different ways to integrate what they just read, and it's extremely important. I think what you're doing is amazing because so many books I've read, I read them and I take it in, and then I don't know what to do with it, and then I have to go to my highest self and do all that stuff. But I want to encourage people if they don't know what to do when they've read something, but it seems to resonate with them in some way and they want to understand it more. Ask your highest self if there isn't a workbook to go to, bring that highest self in front of you. Because what I know is when I'm talking to my soul, I will get the right answer every single time. Because that's the vine to the divine. That's the connection.

John Miles (47:01)

So on the show, I end up doing a lot of work around behavioral science, and nudges play an extremely big role in behavior science. But in your book, on your podcast and other things that I've seen you do, you also talk about the importance of learning to trust. Intuitive nudges that happen in everyday life, not things that just happen in moments of crisis. What's a practical way that someone listening can begin to start building that trust with their own intuitive nudges that they're experiencing?

Susan Grau (47:38)

Practice. If I say anything to someone, if you want to understand the difference between fear and intuition or understanding what's coming, in practice, it. Intuition is internal and it's in the gut. Mediumship is outside of us. It's a higher vibrational energy. But intuition is in the gut. Your gut says something. What do you do with that? You know, first of all, we evaluate it, right? My gut's telling me something. Am I trusting it? So if I walk into a room and I'm in the room with someone and my gut goes, ooh, I. Something feels off here. What I do is I take it up to my brain, I process it, and then I drop it back down into my gut. The mistake that we make, unfortunately, with intuition, is we take it to our brain and we leave it there. And our brain will tell us, oh, no, they're a Good person. I don't want to be judgmental. I don't want to this, I don't want to that. And three months later, we go, I knew it. Why didn't I listen? Now I'm harmed. So we want to take it into our brain and process that intuitive hit as quickly as we can. That's takes practice. So it comes into my gut, it goes up to my brain very quickly, and I go, I'm recognizing something, I'm aware of something. And then I drop it back in, down into my gut, and I go, what is it I'm actually feeling and experiencing? I'm trying to think of his name. Oh, my gosh, it just left my head. There's a doctor who wrote a book, and he talks about getting into an elevator. And I know it will come to me. And he says, you're standing at the edge of the elevator. The elevator door opens, you see someone standing there, they've got a briefcase, they feel really good, they look really good. They're put together, got their tie on, and your gut says, beware. And you say in your brain, you throw it up there and you say, in your brain, oh, no, I'm being really paranoid right now. This guy looks perfectly fine. You get in the elevator and you get robbed. You didn't listen to that intuition, that instant instinct, that instant feeling comes in and it resonates in you in the lower part of your gut. Or people say when they're upset, I just want to throw up.

John Miles (49:41)

Yeah.

Susan Grau (49:41)

Or I have butterflies in my stomach. That's the area of intuition. And it connects into our soul source, and it gives us information. And that is spirit talking to you. That's your knowing. And it's a beautiful energy, but we have to be listening to it and aware of it and not talk ourselves out of it. I hope that answered the question.

John Miles (50:03)

Yeah.

John Miles (50:04)

What you just said gave me goosebumps because that's exactly what I experience. I. I try to do my sessions where I try to tap into my intuitive gifts on my morning walks because I like to go out, you know, 5, 20 in the morning, and there's no distractions. So I don't listen to anything. I just let the universe sit around me. And I try to pay attention to the sounds I'm hearing and the smells and the wind and just what the universe looks like. And it's when I try to ask some of the most profound questions or ask for guidance. And it's amazing. Sometimes when I get that guidance, I just feel this rush once, which ends up Sometimes I feel hot or cold at times. Times I'll feel a tingling sensation. Other times I get goosebumps. And to me, that's when I know that I've heard something and I really need to pay attention. Do you think I'm queuing into the right things?

Susan Grau (51:02)

I do. And there's the key right there. The two things you said in what you just said. I was present in the moments, and I trusted the cue. I was present to feel. There are people that go walking all the time, and they don't even know what they passed. And they don't even feel anything going on in their body. They're just like power walking. And that's all they're thinking about. They think about the grocery list or they're thinking about an argument they had with someone. They're not present. So back to that presence is everything with intuition. You know, if I go to step in that elevator. But when I opened the elevator door, I was thinking about my grocery list and driving home and the traffic and everything else. I wouldn't even notice that person standing there. I just jump in. So you want to pause and you want to take note, and that's being present. That's exactly what you just said. And that is tuning in to truth, to the universal truth. They are talking to us at all times. They are giving us messages always. We just have to decide whether we're going to listen.

John Miles (52:06)

So I'm going to switch gears on you just a little bit. For the past couple decades, there's been an exodus that's been happening from organized religion. But recently we've seen the beginnings of a reversal where more and more people seem to be coming back to their spiritual roots. What gives you the most hope about how humanity today is possibly evolving spiritually?

Susan Grau (52:36)

My first comment to that is that I really believe that spirit allows things to happen in our world. That we ask why? And that's exactly why. Because those things that are happening bring us back. It's not that they create that circumstance. We as humans do, but they allow those circumstances to occur. And people go, if they really love me, why would they let this happen? And I try to tell them this, guide you into asking the question. Before, you wouldn't even have asked that question. Now all of a sudden you're wanting to know them, and you're wanting to know why, and that why matters. So my feeling is, as we're guiding people into the truth of what's happening around them, and they're more present, they are moving into a place of wanting more Understanding. Somebody said to me one time, do you believe in God? And I said, yes, I do. And they said, do you ever struggle with it? And I said, every day. And they said, do you ask questions? And I said, I'm always asking why this and why that? Why do you let this happen? Why did that child pass? Why this, why that? And they said, as long as you're asking the question, you're connected. And I've never forgotten that. And people are asking the question. And because of the way the energy is here on this planet, the way that we've allowed ourselves to move away from that question and think that our egos can dictate our growth and our spirituality, we have gotten in pretty deep and it's gotten pretty dark. And we have this ability now to move over and say, why? And you're asking the question, and that is your connection. So that is my belief system of why things are changing. And then after why it's what and how. What do I need to do differently and how do I do it? Because the why won't take you there. The why is just the movement into it. Why is spirit allowing this? Why do I need to get closer to my soul? That question needs to exist, and that's what's created here. And then when we're there, it's what do I need to do different spirit and how do I do it? And that's when we're connecting it, truly connecting it.

John Miles (54:51)

One of the things, Susan, I think, that so many of us today are doing is we end up going through our lives following the script that we've been given, which is the script written for everyone else but ourselves. And I have found in my own life that the farther I get away from my life script, the more I think pain, agony, discomfort, people could see it as burnout, whatever you want to call it, end up happening. And I know you just discussed this on your podcast. How do you figure out or how does someone sense if they're living someone else's script, if they're not tuned in enough from a self awareness perspective to understand it? Maybe they're young in their career and they haven't asked themselves some of the difficult questions or faced some of the pain that some of us have experienced when it happens to us. What would be your guidance?

Susan Grau (55:51)

My guidance would be do life right. Because, and in truth, as we're doing it, we're learning what our scripts are and aren't and what works for us and what doesn't. So just doing life. And again, back to being Present. I say this so much because it's the most. It's the clearest path to growth, is being present. There's no clearer way. So, you know, as I have done my life, I've said to myself, being a mother, my mom would tell me it's doing this and this and this. And I would do all those things and it wouldn't work. And I would think, why? Why doesn't my kid want to talk to me today? Or did I do? You know, am I controlling too much? I never knew what I was doing because it was my mom's script that she learned as a child. Do you have to cook? You have to this, you have to that. Do I like to cook? The answer is yes. Those questions matter. So it's really just asking the questions. What do I feel? What am I experiencing in this given situation? And what feels right to my soul? Because we are all, obviously, to live on this planet, we have to have some form of a script. It's impossible to live on this planet without it. You don't go run out in front of a car. That's a script we learn, right? You're going to die. You're not going to be on this planet anymore. So it's like, we have to learn these things, but we also have to recognize the skills, smaller things. Like, maybe my script was a particular way that people are supposed to do something. And so I'm doing it blindly because that's what I was told I was supposed to do. But everything inside of me is screaming that I'm not happy. This doesn't fit for me. I feel like I need to do this differently. But I'm not taking the action because I was taught and told this is the way I have to do it in order to be good. Because isn't that the bottom line? Follow the script and you're good. Study, get good grades, you're good. Do this, do that, you're good. We're making someone else happy. What we have to do is ask ourselves, what brings joy to me? Where in this does the joy come? And if the answer is it's not there, then there's something else you need to be doing. And that's hard. It's. There's nothing easy about shifting a script because you literally have to look internally and say, where is my happiness? What makes me feel right inside? Not just happy, but right. Am I aligned? Am I on the beam? I always talk about that beam. People get on. They get on the beam and they fall off to the right. They fall off to the left, and hopefully they climb back on that beam is your path. And the scripts are on the right side and the left side. And then you have the beam, which is the. The main script is walking the beam, not jumping out in front of the car and not jumping off the beam. Walking the beam and learning. This doesn't feel good on this side. And over here. Now I'm over on the left. I've fallen off and this isn't right for me. And getting back on and walking a little further and taking the lessons as they come and being willing to have them. So that's the other part, the willingness. I am willing to go through the lessons to be more.

John Miles (58:47)

Susan, little birdie whispered in my ear that you might have another book or possibly two coming out. Is there anything that you can share about them and perhaps tease our curiosity?

Susan Grau (59:00)

Yeah. So one of the books that's coming out is the spirit codes. And it's not just, why is the butterfly in front of me? But what are they trying to say to me? So a medium goes a step further. Yes, you've seen a butterfly. This is the message. How do we get that message? How do we understand what that message is for that day, that moment, that space and time? So I'm teaching those codes the what spirit utilizes to get us to understand their message. And the other book, which I think people are going to love, by the way, I think it's going to help them so much, connect in and understand. And then the other. So it's not just science. And then the other one is healing. So it's called Infinite Healing. And I probably will change the name at some point, but it's about the dark night of the soul and how that can guide us into all of our conversation we just had. How does that. How does. How do those dark nights take us to a place of connecting with the greater good, the greater, higher consciousness, and to heal. How do we do that? And how do we recognize we need that healing? Because we're so used to the script of just get yourself up, pull your panties up, put on your bootstraps and go. That's what we're taught. And that is not how it works. That is not how we grow, change, and expand. So it's about expanding through learning about that dark night of the soul and then facing it. Really. The byline is facing the. The pain that binds us. We want to face that so then we can get unbound by it and understand the greater message of that pain.

John Miles (60:31)

I love it, Susan. It was such an honor to have you back today. For listeners who want to learn more about the podcast, your current book, I understand TV shows that you're going to be in and other things. Where's the best place for them to to go?

Susan Grau (60:45)

Susangraw.com is for my website which will tell them everything that's coming up. I also have susangrauthor.com that has my book on it and my new books will be put there. And Instagram, Susan Grahfishal Everywhere, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, etc. But a lot of times you just type in Susan Gro. I'm very fortunate. I'm very blessed things will come up for you. So we're always putting things out there. Susan oh, in the podcast. Yes.

John Miles (61:16)

Love having you on the show again. Thank you so much for joining us.

Susan Grau (61:20)

Thank you so much for having me. I loved being here.

John Miles (61:23)

That closes our conversation with Susan Grau and I hope it left you seeing the process of becoming through a gentler, wider lens. Susan's story reminds us that transformation doesn't always begin with ambition. Sometimes it begins with with interruption, with loss, with a moment that breaks the old identity so the true one can finally emerge. As you reflect on today's episode, here are a few key takeaways that matter most. First, intuition is not magic. It's perception sharpened by presence. Second, grief reshapes identity. It doesn't erase who we were, it expands who we're becoming. And lastly, becoming is not reinvention. It's remembering. It's returning to the parts of you.

John Miles (62:05)

That life pushed aside.

John Miles (62:07)

If you want to go even deeper into the ideas that we explore here, join me on theignitedlife.net my substack community. You'll find weekly reflections, extended insights and a companion guide for today's episode. Speaking of which, next week we continue our journey into the season of Becoming with Anne Labara, where we explore the art of improvisation, identity, play, and why reinvention works best when you stop trying.

John Miles (62:33)

To control every step.

Comedy Instructor (62:34)

A joke is a setup and a punchline, but when you equate comedy with jokes, you often equate comedy with some of the darker parts of comedy and the riskier parts of comedy. And instead the really central comedy that I love and that I think anybody can do is comedy of recognition. If I share things about who I am and the way I approach the world, you are going to naturally be interested in them. And that's a central aspect of being funny. So a lot of what I teach to talk about my students, I'm like, don't try to be funny. Which of course means trying to be funny means you're not going to be funny. Because there is no try.

John Miles (63:17)

There's only two. Until then, remember. Becoming isn't something you force. It's something you allow. It begins with listening. It unfolds with courage. And it accelerates the moment you decide.

John Miles (63:28)

Your next chapter is worth writing.

John Miles (63:30)

I'm John Miles. And you've been passion struck. Now go start the revolution.