Podcast Summary: Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Episode 684: Whose Story Are You Living? How to Take Back the Pen

Date: October 31, 2025
Host: John R. Miles
Guests: Claude Silver (Chief Heart Officer at VaynerX), Nick Thompson (CEO of The Atlantic)

Main Theme

This episode concludes the “Forces that Pull Us” series by tackling one of the most fundamental questions for a meaningful life: Whose story are you living? John R. Miles explores how cultural, professional, and media-driven narratives shape our identities—often without us realizing it—and provides a framework for auditing and reclaiming your personal narrative. Through insights from leaders Claude Silver and Nick Thompson, the conversation bridges topics of authenticity, leadership, media influence, and intentional living, urging listeners to become the authors of their own stories.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Invisible Forces Shaping Our Stories

• Unseen Influences:
  “What if your entire life is being shaped by forces you can’t see? … The culture that tells you who you’re supposed to be. These are the invisible currents that shape us, whether we notice them or not.” (John Miles, 00:31)
• Hidden scripts from family, culture, workplace, and media quietly dictate our beliefs about worth, success, and identity.
• To live with intention, you must recognize whose narrative you’re inhabiting—and begin to question and edit it.

2. Inheriting vs. Authoring Your Story

• “Every story begins somewhere. But most of us don’t start with a blank page. Before we ever write our own story, we inherit one.” (06:52)
• John explains how we absorb silent “syllabi” from our upbringings—values, metrics, roles, and rules of belonging.
• Stedman Graham’s concept of “identity foreclosure”: when the inherited script hardens into a cage and we stop questioning or growing.

3. Auditing the Inherited Narrative

• John shares his own inherited story: discipline, achievement, service—the "rails my childhood ran on."
• Realization: “Discipline is the engine. Direction is the map. You can run a flawless machine in circles and still arrive nowhere you're meant to go.” (~09:20)
• Takeaway: Purpose requires more than discipline—it requires choosing your destination.
• John’s process: auditing every habit, goal, and “should”; retaining core values but shedding roles and obligations that no longer fit.

4. Claude Silver: Authenticity and Leadership

• Claude’s transformation: from high-powered ad executive to “Chief Heart Officer.”
• “I cared less about the campaigns and more about the heartbeat of this place.” (John paraphrasing Claude, ~07:50)
• By quitting the story culture handed her, Claude rewrote her own, shifting focus from “metrics to meaning.”
• Leadership begins with authorship: “You can’t lead others towards authenticity if you’re still performing a role yourself.” (16:53)

5. Media, Technology, and the Stories We Absorb (Nick Thompson)

• “The stories we consume shape the stories we believe.” (John, paraphrasing Nick Thompson, ~15:30)
• Nick observes: Trust is linked to authenticity in a world of AI and algorithms.
• Algorithms and social feeds curate what we see, which feedbacks to shape our identities—unless we consciously choose otherwise.
  • “Instead of you choosing the story, the story starts choosing you.”
• “The algorithm isn’t a puppet master. It’s a mirror.” (17:04)
• The rise of performative authenticity—the need to pause and ask: “Do I still believe this, or do I just scroll into it?” (18:30)

6. Choosing Authorship in a Noisy World

• John recalls his own career “success” story: performance over purpose, achievement over alignment—“I was living a narrative about performance, not purpose. Impact measured in numbers, not meaning.” (19:33)
• Authentic stories are written not with certainty, but with courage.
• “Every time you choose meaning over metrics, presence over performance, truth over trends, you etch one more line into a life that matters.” (21:44)

7. Culture Change Starts Within

• “Every time you choose honesty over image, you rewrite what leadership looks like. … That’s how culture shifts. Not through slogans or strategies, but through people who decide to live differently.” (23:50)
• You can’t change culture at scale without first changing the internal narrative.
• Ripples of authenticity, intentionality, and presence become the real agents of culture and connection.

8. Reflection and Action Steps for Listeners

• Questions to ask:
  • What stories are you living that no longer feel like yours?
  • Are they inherited, absorbed, or intentionally chosen?
  • What will your future self thank you for writing?
• “Because the next chapter isn’t waiting to be discovered, it’s waiting to be authored.” (22:00)
• Invitation: Download companion workbook [the Stories that Shape Us Toolkit] for self-reflection exercises.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

“Discipline is the engine. Direction is the map. You can run a flawless machine in circles and still arrive nowhere you're meant to go.”
— John R. Miles, ~09:20

“You can’t lead others towards authenticity if you’re still performing a role yourself.”
— John R. Miles, paraphrasing Claude Silver, 16:53

"The algorithm isn’t a puppet master. It’s a mirror.”
— John R. Miles, ~17:04

“Do I still believe this, or do I just scroll into it?”
— John R. Miles, 18:30

"Every act of courage, every boundary drawn in truth, every moment lived with intention, it all ripples outward. And one by one, those ripples become connection. Connection becomes belonging. Belonging becomes culture. That's the real force that pulls us forward."
— John R. Miles, 24:19

“Because the next chapter isn’t waiting to be discovered, it’s waiting to be authored.”
— John R. Miles, 22:00

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:31 – Intro to "Forces that Pull Us" and the invisible influences shaping us
• 06:52 – Inherited stories: family, culture, the metrics and roles we unconsciously adopt
• 07:50 – Claude Silver’s pivot: from external success to internal authenticity
• 09:20 – Reflection on discipline as engine vs. direction as map; John’s personal turning point
• 15:30 – Nick Thompson on media, authenticity, and the attention economy
• 17:04 – Media as a mirror for our choices, not a puppet master
• 18:30 – Performative authenticity and the need for self-reflection
• 19:33 – John’s “hollow success” story and the origins of Passion Struck
• 21:44 – The courage of writing your own story; meaning over metrics
• 23:50 – How small acts of authenticity shift culture from the inside out
• 24:19 – The ripple effect: connection, belonging, culture
• 22:00–27:04 – Calls to action: self-audit, reflection, and steps for reclaiming personal narrative

Conclusion & Key Takeaways

• Reclaiming authorship of your narrative starts with questioning which stories you've inherited, which you've absorbed, and which you are ready to write for yourself.
• Authenticity is an act of resistance and reclamation in a world crowded with prescribed scripts and algorithm-driven narratives.
• Culture shifts when individuals choose honesty, presence, and intention—each act rippling outward to shape the collective environment.
• You are invited to reflect, download the companion toolkit, and begin writing the story that truly feels like home.

Next Episode Preview:

• Upcoming: “What AI Can’t Teach—The Power of Emotional Awareness,” exploring the irreplaceable human skill set in an age of algorithms.

Listener Reflection Prompt:

“What stories are you living that no longer feel like yours? Are they inherited, absorbed, or intentionally chosen?”
— John R. Miles, 21:00

Share your thoughts on theignitedlife.net or with #theStoriesthatShapeUs for a chance to be featured in the community.