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Sports Radio Host
My boss asked for results, so I opened my dashboard for the only positive sounding metric I had.
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Sports Radio Co-Host
And pender gas if the question to the Astros fan base should Joe Espada be gone? Yeah, not at the end of the season. Not after breakfast. But. But now.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah, I would say right now maybe the majority think.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yes, definitely think the majority.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah, I'm like, I'm always thinking about
Sports Radio Co-Host
it's kind of cherry picking to do it after they just swept.
Sports Radio Host
Well, there's also that point where you're like, all right, at some point if you're going to do it in season, it's got to be to provide some kind of juice. Yeah. And if you're looking at this current roster and thinking like okay, list, we need to start from square one to begin with. Well then, not like it's not like you're trying to tank for the draft or anything, but there might be a little bit of why bother?
Sports Radio Co-Host
And if you're wondering like what, what's the. Like what's the level of desperation? Purely from a record standpoint, granted the American League and its Mediocrity is keeping you. That's the thing that's keeping this team alive right now. This is the deepest they've gone into a season and been sub.500 since before the golden era. Yeah, since 2014. And they flipped it around the last two years to where by this point, they'd won 59 games last year, they'd won 52 the year before. They've won 47 games, and there's no sign that there's a six or seven game winning streak coming anytime soon with this team. So, yeah, I think I. Maybe I'll pender poll that one, too. I got a lot of polls I got to put up today.
Sports Radio Host
So this weekend, somebody sent me some positive affirmations. A friend of mine that you wouldn't. You wouldn't guess would be a positive affirmation guy.
Oregon Lottery Announcer
Really.
Sports Radio Host
He's kind of a. He's kind of a beer drinker. Used to be a brawler type and everything, but it's been big for him in his life. So the old Stuart Smalley thing, you know, I'm confident I'm strong enough and people like me, gosh, are you okay right now?
Sports Radio Co-Host
Did you need the affirmation?
Sports Radio Host
Oh, no, no, no. I had asked him about it. I was asking him something. We were talking about. He's in sales, and I was just kind of asking him something about it. You know what the Astros need? They need some affirmations. Let's go. So I got some good New Age music going here, and I'm going to. I'm going to take the Astros to some affirmations. Feel free to throw in.
Sports Radio Co-Host
I just want you to know we only have 13 minutes left in this.
Sports Radio Host
I'm gonna. Well, let's start listening.
Sports Radio Co-Host
A lot of people that need this stuff, listen.
Sports Radio Host
You want your. You want your ship to get deport, you need a good captain of that ship, Sean. And Joe Espada desperately needed some affirmations.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Okay?
Sports Radio Host
So, Joe Espada, I want you to repeat after me. I don't have to prove to anybody that I'm smart, that I'm clever, that, gosh darn it, I'm competent. I don't have to. I don't have to pinch hit for Jordan Alvarez in a close game. I don't have to bunt like it's 1973. I'm smart enough and people respect me for that. I also repeat after me, Joe Espada. I hold guys accountable.
UPS Store Advertiser
I.
Sports Radio Host
When I see a young player who just struck out, but the catcher drops the ball and it's rolling in the dirt. And your. Your. Your young players should be going to first base as fast as he can. I hold guys accountable for stuff like that. Yes. Well, he's repeating.
CBS Sports Podcast Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Host
So that. You got any more for Espada?
Sports Radio Co-Host
Do I have any more affirmations for
Sports Radio Host
Espada that he needs?
Sports Radio Co-Host
For Espada. You know what I would say every time in a post. Repeat after me, Joe. In a post game press conference, even after a pitcher is given up.
Oregon Lottery Announcer
Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Nine earned runs, but still gave us five innings. It's okay for me to tout the five innings and ignore the nine earned runs. He did give us five innings.
Sports Radio Host
No, you haven't. You have to do the affirmation for what you actually want him to do. Yeah, like. Like he should say, I. I hold people accountable afterwards, too. And I'll address. I'll address what the issues were. I might get so here. Joe Espada. Yeah. I'll just say it in the U. It gets too confusing. Listen, Joe, listen, listen, Joe, listen. These guys aren't. These guys aren't super delicate.
Sports Radio Co-Host
I like the. Repeat after me, okay?
Sports Radio Host
Repeat after me, Joe. Repeat after me, Joe.
Sports Radio Guest
Come on.
Sports Radio Host
After your pitch. After a pitcher gets shelled in a game. Yeah. I can point out that it was a really bad performance for him. I don't have to say his stuff is really good. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't have to say, hey, Hunter's stuff is really good.
Sports Radio Co-Host
We're trying to get him to change.
Sports Radio Host
Christian Walker. We'll do Christian Walker.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Let's do this.
Sports Radio Host
Christian Walker, repeat after me. I can handle failure. When I have a bad moment or I strike out, I hold my chest out with pride. I walk to the dugout at a normal pace. And I understand that I'm not setting a bad example like the aforementioned for the aforementioned Zach Disenzo. That what this game is all about is not pouting. It's about just getting back up and doing it again.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yes.
Sports Radio Host
I also, my obliques are strong and flexible and I will not injure them.
Sports Radio Co-Host
That's going to work.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Guest
Can I give an affirmation to Christian Walker? Yeah, Christian, repeat after me.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Okay?
Sports Radio Guest
It's okay to watch a ball go in the dirt and not try to golf club swing at it.
Sports Radio Host
When you're doing the check swings, it's
Sports Radio Guest
okay to watch a ball go by and not try to play hero.
Sports Radio Co-Host
It's okay when it goes in the dirt at first base. It's okay. Like, we like him to swing at it with his glove, to try to scoop it but we don't like him to do that with his bat. All right, that's a good one.
Sports Radio Host
Imai, repeat F. Okay. I don't know if we have a translator the ball.
Sports Radio Co-Host
This one's gonna take a while.
Sports Radio Host
The ball is. The ball is just sticky enough. The meals are served at the appropriate time in the appropriate place. The baseball game is nine innings long, and I can be there for the majority of it. I would be another one with the
Sports Radio Co-Host
mound is the texture.
Sports Radio Host
The mound is exactly the appropriate height and steepness for me. Y equals MX plus MX plus B is okay with me.
Sports Radio Co-Host
66 degrees in Seattle is seasonably warm.
Sports Radio Host
Yes, I am comfortable.
Sports Radio Co-Host
It's not cold.
Sports Radio Host
60 degrees Fahrenheit. I don't know what it is in Celsius is.
Sports Radio Guest
Just finding the strike zone three times in a row is a welcomed experience.
Sports Radio Host
Yes. Good job. We've got him on track. Brian King. Listen, repeat after me, Brian King.
Sports Radio Co-Host
We gonna waste our time.
Sports Radio Host
Repeat after me, Brian King. I have historically great splits versus righties. I will. I will look at photos of myself and hit the mirror button on Instagram so it'll make me look like I'm a righty because that's what I have done historically. I haven't gone in and let up home run after home run after home run. That's who I am. I will take my. I will spend my time in the minor leagues to. To do what I always do, which is have, have, have, have, have great splits versus righties.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yes.
Sports Radio Host
Yes.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yes. Okay.
Sports Radio Host
Jeremy Pena.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Jeremy Pena.
Sports Radio Host
Boy, my muscles are live and pliable and. And well hydrated. I never cramp up. And when I do cramp up, I don't act like these modern athletes who think that a cramp is somehow a forebear to tearing something. Ah, I wouldn't. I will not leave games because of cramping, be they muscular or menstrual.
Sports Radio Co-Host
This is. This is at least. This music is something. Man. I like this. This is at least five times now that he's.
Sports Radio Host
Since he's had to leave a game
Sports Radio Co-Host
since late last year. The. Jeremy Pena had been a rock forever. And then he got beaned by the Cubs last year in the ribs. I'm not counting that on his ticket, injury wise, but it broke a rib, but it's almost like it broke something else inside of him because he. He. He missed. People forget this. He missed the last week of flowing
LinkedIn Advertiser
ad budget on metrics that look great till the CFO sees them. That's bull spending. And marketers are calling it out. In Dashboard Confessions, I remember telling my
Sports Radio Host
boss, it'll be good for the brand. When leads were slow. Yeah, it wasn't.
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Sports Radio Co-Host
The season last year they could have used Jeremy Pena. Yep, 10th in the MVP voting to make the playoffs. Last year missed it with I believe an oblique or something like that oblique strain. And there's been, there's now been at least three, if not four times. Two times he's already been on the injured list.
Sports Radio Guest
If he goes back, it's the third time.
Sports Radio Co-Host
It's the third time on the injured list. So the last two he's come back like he's come back without having to go to the. He's anyways, he's getting hurt a lot.
Sports Radio Host
Repeat after me Einer with your positive affirmations. I love coconut water. I love pickle juice. I love any kind of electrolyte laden liquid that's going to help me finish games. That's the. And that's. And that's just the way I operate. That's just what I do.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yeah, you mean Pena.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah, what I said.
Sports Radio Co-Host
You said yiner.
Sports Radio Host
Oh, yiner. Yeah, I got excited when you said repeat after me. I know where the strike zone is and I understand when to when to challenge and when not to challenge. And sometimes I won't challenge when it is indeed a ball. And then if I when I do Actually end up having a couple successful
Sports Radio Co-Host
challenges after that for a minute.
Sports Radio Host
I won't screw up everything by throwing a runner out at second who I have no hope of getting out when there's a runner on third.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Throw him out when there's a runner
Sports Radio Host
on third and you score a run because you tried to pick off somebody who was unpickable. And I will remind Hunter that you've got a guy on first who's got a healthy lead.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yeah. Do a little affirmation for Hunter, too.
Sports Radio Host
Well, I will.
Sports Radio Co-Host
I will pay attention to base runners.
Sports Radio Host
Oh, I forgot. With a spot a spotted, you're back in the mix, Joe. Repeat after me, Joe. I. I will pull Hunter at the appropriate time. I will not let him sit out there with absolutely zero command with the bases loaded. And I will understand exactly what's. I will watch the baseball game. I will watch the baseball game and understand what's going on.
Sports Radio Guest
We throw one more in for Einer. Yeah, I love home plate.
Dr. Horton Advertiser
Yeah.
Sports Radio Guest
I should cover home. I should stay positive and not be anywhere else but home.
Sports Radio Host
Yes, Diner. I repeat after me, Yiner. I understand where the danger is, and I will be there. I will be there and cover the appropriate bases when. When it might prevent something like an actual run being scored, even though it probably wouldn't. An extra, but just still be there. Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Text message. These sound like backhanded affirmations. Yeah.
Sports Radio Host
I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. This is just.
Sports Radio Guest
Positivity would be better served as a player after chewing. Damn positive. I don't need fire and brimstone, but give me the spark.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Okay. Can I do one for my favorite player? Mike Burroughs.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Who avoided, like, Kai Way Tang avoided his minor league assignment by coming up with some injury. The team, remember Kai Way Tang got the option to Sugar Land and they're like, two days later, like, oh, no, wait, you know, his arm, it's broken. Like Rodney Dangerfield, like. So the same thing happened with Mike Burroughs. They optioned him, but then they revoked the option, so he's still with the ball club. Mike Burroughs, repeat after me. I don't need to just throw meatballs over the middle of the plate. Yeah, I can cherry pick.
Sports Radio Host
I got the stuff. Yes, yes.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Pick on. Pick the corners here to cherry pick to. To nibble, as they like to say, on the corners. I don't need to serve it on a silver platter to these people.
Squarespace Advertiser
Look at.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Look at most of the hitters I've Thrown to this year. You know what? The reason I've given up a lot of runs is just because of these damn home runs I keep giving up.
Sports Radio Host
Yes.
Sports Radio Co-Host
If I just stop giving up the home runs. And I am perfectly capable.
Sports Radio Host
Good job, Mike Burroughs.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Look at this red beard of mine. It's beautiful. I look like a pirate.
Sports Radio Host
I'm going to say be a pirate. I've got one. Typically, you don't try to give affirmations to a piece of technology, but for pitchcom. Pitchcom, which just went out for how long was. It was like three hours the other night. Yeah. I am. I am not all that complicated a piece of technology.
Oregon Lottery Announcer
No.
Sports Radio Host
I like. I'm not that much different than a transistor radio. Then I will not. I will not fail. I will not fail you humans in critical moments because what the hell?
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Can I give one to a piece of technology? This is an affirmation for the iPad in the Astros dugout. You know what? I need to stop letting these guys play Candy Crush and Angry Birds.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah. I'm gonna. I'm gonna have parental controls on.
Sports Radio Co-Host
I'm gonna self download whatever apps the good teams are using to get a. Not cheat, but get a little edge.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
You know, I'm gonna. I'm gonna try to be a more productive piece of technology in this dugout.
Sports Radio Host
Not even try. I am a more productive. You have to visualize you being the iPad. The perfect iPad.
Sports Radio Guest
I thought of one of Joe Espana. Get him back in here for a second.
Sports Radio Host
Okay, Joe, Repeat after. Repeat after goal.
Sports Radio Guest
I will not burn my pitcher. That just came off the IL from Tommy John surgery by keeping him out
Sports Radio Co-Host
there way too long tonight.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Guest
I will set the tone tonight by allowing him to go as far as he can with being comfortable.
Sports Radio Host
Right.
Sports Radio Guest
And not put him in a position to where I am going to blow out his arm.
Sports Radio Host
Yes.
Sports Radio Guest
And have him back for one start. And right back at square one with this pitching rotation.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Host
I didn't leave Hunter Brown out way too long in his first start of the season, which maybe was the reason that he got into the fix he was in anyway.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Oh, yeah.
Sports Radio Guest
Eight innings, you know, eight weeks later. He'll be fine.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah. Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Blanco's gotta. He's gotta be on a pitch count tonight, right? I mean, technically, everybody, if it's going
Sports Radio Host
well, Espada's like, we can go to the fifth. Hey, Joe, repeat after me. I'm not terrified about how I'm gonna be reusing my relievers three days from now. So I'm to the point where I, where I, where I keep guys in for way too long. And I damn sure won't be complimenting pitcher after, after you allow seven runs. But hey, he stayed in for six innings. He made my job easier.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yeah, I just got one sent to me from my wife, an affirmation she would like the Houston fan base to repeat after themselves. I do not need to do the wave. It's stupid. I can sit and enjoy a game without doing the wave.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah, I don't need, I don't need gadgetry like, like the wave to keep, to keep my kids entertained during games.
Sports Radio Co-Host
People want us to do affirmations for people at Sports Radio 610 for Clinton. I will not talk about how injuries can't get worse in the second half of the season. Did Clint say that? Oh, he must have unfurled it. If a random texter is saying it, it's got to be true.
Sports Radio Host
I'm guilty of it. Just at the beginning of the season, all last offseason, we all did that. Yeah. Seth, repeat after me. I will not in the off season say that they can't. The injuries can't possibly be as bad early on as they were last year.
Sports Radio Co-Host
The injuries can always get worse.
Sports Radio Host
Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
That's what we've learned.
LinkedIn Advertiser
All right.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Good job, Seth. I enjoyed that. I have no idea if it's gonna work.
Sports Radio Host
Hopefully everybody's feeling a lot more positive.
Facebook Advertiser
Yeah.
Sports Radio Co-Host
Yeah. All right. We, we've done this the last couple of days with Cole at 7:20, but we did acknowledge me earlier today, news that you may have missed from over the weekend from the news cycle here. Cole Thompson's got him for you. News you may have missed, including one. We had lottery stories last week. This one's a good one. We've got a good lottery story that we'll get to and also some sports related ones as well. Tom Brady. People getting upset with Tom Brady on the interwebs over the weekend. We'll get with that. We'll get to that as well.
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CBS Sports Podcast Host
as the U.S. men's National Team takes center stage at a home World cup, make sure you're listening to Call it what yout Want, part of the CBS Sports Podcast Network where you can join me. I'm Jimmy Conrad alongside Charlie Davies, Tony Miola, Marcelo Balboa and Benny Feilhauber throughout this tournament for previews, instant reactions and analysis of every US Match. Then all summer we're back every Tuesday and Thursday covering all things US Men's National Team. Download and follow Call it what yout Want on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and wherever you get your podcasts.
Oregon Lottery Announcer
Oregon Parks make an Oregon Summer but what makes an Oregon Park? Well, Oregon Lottery Gameplay helps no matter the game Megabucks, video lottery or keno funds from lottery games help support parks projects across the state, ensuring they stay safe, accessible and open for all. In fact, Discover State Park Scratches are in stores now. It's the perfect way to put a little bit of Oregon's parks in your pocket. The Oregon Lottery Together we do good things. Must be 18 or older to play. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only.
Jenna Fisher or Angela Kinsey (Office Ladies Podcast Hosts)
I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey and together we have the podcast Office Ladies. Just because we finished rewatching the Office does not mean we're going anywhere. Every Wednesday we'll be sharing a even more exclusive stories from the Office and our friendship with brand new guests. Plus, you can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. So follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.
Payne & Pendergast
Episode: ASTROS AFFIRMATIONS from Seth Payne
Date: July 20, 2026
Podcast: Houston Sports Radio 610 / Audacy
Hosts: Seth Payne & Sean Pendergast
This episode centers around the Houston Astros' struggles during the 2026 MLB season and approaches the situation with humor and a touch of psychological optimism. Seth and Sean, joined by a guest, riff on the idea of "Astros Affirmations," parodying New Age self-help affirmations to address the team's and individuals' shortcomings. Using wit and sarcasm, they highlight frustrations with the coaching staff, roster performance, and recurring injury issues while trying to find some light-hearted hope for the Astros’ fanbase.
The conversation is playful, heavily sarcastic, yet deeply resonant for engaged Astros fans. Affirmations act as comedic vehicles to voice genuine criticisms and anxieties—about the manager’s decisions, chronic injuries, player development, and even the fanbase’s quirks. The banter is fast, inside-jokey, and witty, in line with Seth and Sean’s established rapport.
This episode blends comedy and critique as the hosts work through the Astros’ woes by roasting them with faux self-affirmations. The lighthearted approach offers catharsis to listeners frustrated by yet another turbulent season. The affirmations bit lets fans laugh at the team’s shortcomings, but the message is clear: for Houston to turn things around, honesty and accountability—tempered with a sense of humor—are still needed.