HOUR 4 - How Does McCullers Stack Up Among All-Time Astros Pitchers + Does a Good Run Game Get the Texans to a Super Bowl?

Summary

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Payne & Pendergast – Episode Summary

Podcast: Payne & Pendergast
Episode Title: How Does McCullers Stack Up Among All-Time Astros Pitchers + Does a Good Run Game Get the Texans to a Super Bowl?
Hosts: Sean Pendergast and Seth Payne, with guest Cole Thompson
Date: July 16, 2026
Episode Focus:

• The Astros’ trade of Lance McCullers Jr. and evaluating his legacy among all-time Astros pitchers
• Texans offseason, particularly the significance of an effective run game for C.J. Stroud’s success and a Super Bowl run
• Banter and fun segments on sports traditions, inefficiencies, and viral local stories

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Main Theme & Purpose

This hour dives into two central H-Town sports topics:

1. Astros: Breaking down the surprising trade of Lance McCullers Jr., assessing his legacy via a “King of the Hill” pitcher ranking, and implications for Astros' future roster moves.
2. Texans: Addressing whether an improved run game is the key to elevating C.J. Stroud and potentially producing a Super Bowl-winning team, featuring a notable quote from ESPN’s Jeremy Fowler.

Between deep sports analysis, the hosts pepper in vivid Houston banter, quirky viral stories, and a healthy dose of comedic rants on “dumbest things in sports.”

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Detailed Segment Breakdown

1. Astros Trade Lance McCullers Jr.: Reactions & Legacy (00:30–18:20)

McCullers to Milwaukee – Initial Thoughts

• Lance McCullers Jr. (and Colton Gordon plus cash) traded to Milwaukee for Jaden Fielder, the grandson of Cecil and son of Prince Fielder. (“If you’re looking to feel old, there you go...”)
• Hosts lament McCullers' injury-plagued tenure, massive salary for minimal innings, and how he became a “spin the wheel of injuries” player.

  “He looked like the Operation board game guy with all the different little... ailments.” — Sean, [03:26]

Trade Timing & Front Office Strategy

• Admiration for Dana Brown’s proactive deal before the deadline, which provides minor salary relief and roster flexibility.
• Speculation that this positions the Astros for a move—possibly an outfield bat, not another SP.

The “King of the Hill” Exercise (09:04–16:32)

A rotating elimination game to place McCullers among modern Astros pitchers:

• Brad Peacock, Colin McHugh, Wandy Rodriguez: All below McCullers.
• Dallas Keuchel: Serious debate, with recognition for Keuchel's Cy Young, but McCullers' Houston loyalty and emotional connection win out.
• Andy Pettitte: Stats favor Pettitte, but the hosts ultimately side with McCullers as a “true Astro.”
• Framber Valdez: Fromber finally dethrones McCullers due to innings-eating workhorse stature and dominance in 2022.

Rapid Fire Rank-Down:

• Valdez > Cole > Clemens > Oswalt > Verlander (JV as the greatest Astro pitcher ever)
• Memorable exchange:

  “He’s a Yankee… Lance McCullers is going to be buried in the H, dammit.” — Sean, [15:16]

Notes on Return Piece (Jaden Fielder)

• Clarification: Jaden Fielder is a low-tier, non-top-30 prospect with solid but not star-level stats ([19:04]).

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2. Fun & Viral Interludes: Vanity Plates and Pole-Dancing Disasters (18:24–29:28 & 41:13–42:11)

The “SQZ A55” License Plate Saga (19:28–26:39)

• Hilarious story about a 77-year-old Florida woman, Nancy Della Streeto, refusing to drive with her Florida-issued “SQZ A55” (read: “SQUEEZE ASS”) plates.
• Wild speculation on whether she recognized the joke herself or had it explained by grandkids:

  “She will not drive with these plates.” — Sean, [21:19]

• Digression into wild retiree community tales (“The Villages” in Florida, notorious for its high STD rates).

Houston Viral Story: Pole Dancing Garage Flood

• Houston woman (Asha Gilbert) learning to pole-dance at home—pole tips over, triggers apartment fire sprinkler, causes flooding.

  “Got to a move where she had to essentially wrap herself around the pole with her feet off the ground… the pole tips over… the sprinkler head just exploded.” — Sean, [26:08]

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3. Texans: Does an Elite Run Game Elevate C.J. Stroud to a Super Bowl? (29:31–40:50)

Jeremy Fowler’s Take (30:27)

• Playable clip:

  “If they can run the ball, they probably—I mean, I think they’ll win the Super Bowl… they have that kind of team. And if they do that, it changes things for C.J. Stroud in a big way.” — Jeremy Fowler, Dan Patrick Show, [30:27]

• Hosts expand on this:
  • Texans’ inability to run in short-yardage/red zone hampered offense last year; Montgomery’s acquisition viewed as key.
  • Value in a strong run game: Not just more yards, but more red zone conversions and touchdowns.
  • “Would you rather have… 1,000 yards & 6 TDs, or 800 yards & 12 TDs?” — unanimous: More touchdowns matter most for overall team success ([33:10]).
  • Montgomery’s track record as red zone scorer noted.

Quarterback Play in Modern NFL (36:31–38:53)

• Parity in QB “Tier 2” league-wide:

  “You can be the 20th best quarterback, technically, and win a Super Bowl… there’s good depth now at quarterback.” — Jeremy Fowler, [36:38]

• Hosts riff how, with a balanced team and solid run game, Texans don’t need Stroud to be elite—average to good QB play + balance can win (“it’s not all Mahomes any more”).

Fantasy Football Angles & Houston Homer Value

• David Montgomery undervalued in fantasy, but his red zone role is fantasy gold.
• Mention of Woody Marks as a versatile No. 2, and possible “Woody and Buzz” nickname for the running back group ([40:50]).

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4. Sports (and Life) Rants: “What’s Dumb?” (43:33–53:15)

Classic open forum on sports' most senseless features:

• Fumbles through the end zone = turnover: “Never made sense to me.” — Seth, [45:44]
• “Quality start” in MLB (6 IP/3 ER): Not so “quality.” [47:44]
• Interceptions on 4th down instead of knockdowns, quarterbacks at the podium in pads, comparing football players to Steph Curry, NBA in-season tournament/lurid floors.
• Jinxing no-hitters, the “Mr. Irrelevant” tradition, streaming playoff games instead of broadcast, etc.

Memorable barbs:

“CVS receipts are dumb… you have to open it like a scroll.” — John Lopez, [44:11]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Lance McCullers’ legacy:

  “He looked like the Operation board game guy with all the different… ailments.” — Sean, [03:26] “He’s a Yankee… Lance McCullers is going to be buried in the H, dammit.” — Sean, [15:16]

• On the Texans needing run game improvement:

  “If the Texans starting running back has 800 yards but is scoring 12 touchdowns, that means the offense is working.” — Sean, [33:54] “I just think… you might be better served these days having a balanced football team—it’s easier to envision winning a Super Bowl.” — Seth, [37:12]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Astros minor league banter: [00:48–01:56]
• Lance McCullers trade & analysis: [01:56–07:35]
• Astros “King of the Hill” pitcher rankings: [09:04–16:32]
• Jaden Fielder analysis: [19:04–19:24]
• Florida “Squeeze Ass” vanity plate story: [19:28–22:25]
• The Villages/retiree STD tangent: [22:49–25:11]
• Houston pole dancing disaster story: [25:13–27:46]
• Transition to Texans topics: [29:13]
• Jeremy Fowler “if they can run…” Super Bowl quote: [30:27–30:56]
• Texans run game deep dive & short-yardage talk: [32:01–34:29]
• Fantasy football talk—Montgomery’s value: [39:14–39:56]
• Sports “dumbest things” roundtable: [43:33–50:00]

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Tone, Banter & Style

• Unfiltered Houston sports talk, frequently veering into locker-room humor, local references, and spirited bickering.
• Informative but loaded with inside jokes, self-deprecating humor (“nip it in the butt,” “I’m dreading it”), and Texas flavor.
• Regular interaction with listeners via text/call-in.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This hour is a quintessential slice of Houston sports talk: strong opinions, playful legacy debates, real analysis (especially on the Texans’ offensive evolution), and a good mix of irreverent local color. If you’re an Astros/Texans fan or just crave lively radio, it’s a must-catch.

Transcript

[A]

Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B or a C plus life? Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming youg People Think. Okay, an A plus life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to Becoming youg wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

Right into the 9 o' clock hour we go. I am Sean Pendergast. He is Seth Payne. He is Cole Thompson. Cole, hanging out with us for a couple of days.

[C]

Sup, friends?

[B]

Yeah, it's a good week to hang out, man. Is, you know, hey, a lot of fill in the blanks going on with the, with this, with the sports world. Kind of in a break right now.

[D]

So it's earlier. Earlier I brought up Davenport, Iowa, like off the top of my dome. And I had no idea why. And then I remembered, oh, it was because of the River Bandits. Davenport was one of the Quad Cities for the Quad City River Bandits. Used to be in the Astros.

[B]

They were an affiliate.

[C]

Who they with now?

[D]

What's that?

[B]

Who they with?

[D]

The Royals.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Big step down for them.

[C]

Big step down for them.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, maybe if you're a fan of the Royals, at least you could see decent prospects.

[D]

It makes more sense geographically, I guess.

[B]

Probably. Probably. I. The Astro single is in Asheville, North Carolina right now. I've been to a game there.

[C]

The Woodcakers.

[B]

Is it they the Woodpecker? Are they the Woodpecker? Which one? Isn't there one? That's the Volunteers. They are the Woodpeckers.

[C]

I know that. There's a Woodpecker.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Remember that mascot?

[B]

It's a fun. If you're ever down in the Smoky Mountains there in western North Carolina, go take in a game. Go see the future stars of the Houston astros and their 26th ranked minor league system out there.

[C]

Depending on who you ask. You've seen Kylie McDaniel's rankings?

[B]

No.

[C]

They're still at 30.

[B]

They're. Oh, okay.

[C]

They're even worse.

[B]

Okay. Well, I like the ones where they're in the 20s.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Baseball America.

[B]

Lance McCullers, traded yesterday.

[E]

Yesterday.

[B]

What? Yep. Did you hear. Have you heard the news? Yeah. Traded to Milwaukee along with Colton Gordon and some cash for Jaden Fielder, who is the grandson of Cecil Fielder and the son of Prince Fielder. So if you're looking to feel old, there you go. He's an outfielder. So. So Lance McCullers is gone. And I guess my. My initial thoughts with Lance McCullers will. I. I try to avoid thinking about the injuries, but it's impossible not to because of how badly it, a, derailed Lance McCullers personally or professionally, I guess. And B, how much money the Astros have paid for so few innings of actual major league baseball pitch. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. The amount of money per inning pitched.

[F]

Yeah, that's a.

[D]

That's a brutal one. At least with Verlander had the same dynamic, but obviously with better. Better overall feel about it.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, and he came back and won a Cy Young, Right.

[D]

Right. Yeah. No, no, I'm not saying they're the same apples to apples or anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Because like, with. With Lance, it's the exact opposite. It's just been a steady procession of like, hey, look at. He's coming back. Like, ah, he dropped a weight on his foot.

[E]

Oh.

[D]

This year. This year, Cole, you brought up a man. He had a really encouraging start, but remember his first. If I remember correctly, the first medical issue this year was a fingernail. Like, he lost half his fingernail or something. So for his spike curve, he couldn't use his fingernail. Like, it just. It was unfortunately always something. With Lance McCullough, it's Spin the wheel

[C]

of injuries or ailments. For every single loss, everything.

[B]

He looked like the operation board game guy with all the different, you know, little different. You got to pick out, and if

[C]

you touch the side, then you were screwed.

[A]

You.

[B]

You were. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

This is the biggest thing about the McCullers trade. Like, before we get into the actual McCullers legacy and all of that is all right. This is a year where, man, because there's so many contenders, people are kind of wondering how the trade market's going to shake out. And usually what happens with the trade deadline is, man, nothing really happens until 48 hours, 72 hours beforehand when the dominoes start to fall. So to pull off a trade where you're going to get a couple million dollars of salary relief that doesn't, you know, really move the needle other than the big name involved, there are getting out ahead of, like, okay, let's. Let's prime the pump and get ready for whatever moves we might be able to make. I like the fact that they did this a couple of weeks before the deadline.

[E]

They're.

[D]

They're going to make some kind of a positioning. Yeah. Like, so it very much looks like they're positioning. And not to mention they for the second year in a row, annoyingly, we're almost looking at some of these returning pitchers as some of your trade deadline moves. It's like, okay, well, we got these guys coming back. Let's see how they do. They're gonna have to. It's almost like they're gonna be trying guys out. Well, and there's too many guys to also include Lance McCullough.

[F]

That.

[B]

That's the. You nailed it, Seth. That the bit. My big reaction to this was he was not in their plans even once he was healthy again. Like, he's just. There's no room, seats taken. You know, the bus is full and full force compartment. Well, there, There were no. But there's. They, they. There was no room for him. And so instead of when you dfa him, you got to pay him the whole salary. This is at least Milwaukee picking up a couple million of it. I almost feel like. I almost feel like Colton Gordon and the cash are like the second round pick that the Texans had to staple to Brock Osweiler to get Cleveland to take. To take on the salary. Like, okay, we'll take on 2 million. Atlanta McCullers, we got to give us something else. Like, okay, here we go. This guy was. Don't look at how he's done in the majors. This guy was the minor league pitcher of the week last week for the Astros.

[C]

Only pay attention to Triple A stats

[B]

in the last seven days. You're getting a hell of a deal right here with Colton Gordon as part of it.

[D]

Well, yeah, and I think that's where. Okay, so, you know, they're, they're clearing some room to be able to do some kind of thing?

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Do you feel good? Bad, Optimistic? Pessimistic about the fact that it might also be an indicator that they're not going to be targeting a starting pitcher, but that this is to help clear some room maybe to go get an outfielder. And that they think that the pitchers that are coming back from injury or working their way back in, like Christian Javier right now, are going to be the solution for starting pitchers.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know if this move has me feeling one way or the other, Seth, about which. I hadn't thought about that, about which position it is. I just think it's. It indicates they're going to do something

[D]

which to point out to the people who didn't know or hear, like, fielder's a prospect, they're not looking at him as a guy they're going to plug in.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he on the major league,

[C]

he's like 21 years old. Like he's got, he's got some time before he makes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I would say indifferent about this because of. It doesn't defer me from wanting to go target another starting pitcher with the right guys on the market. But it does allow me to feel confident if I'm getting back a Ronald Blanco or I'm getting back Hayden was Neski or I'm getting more guys to come up from maybe the minors to where we feel confident on where we are. All right. The money that we're now able to use, we can go splurge a little bit more on maybe getting that left handed power outfield bat. That's so necessary. And Dana Brown's been talking about for four weeks now about trying to add on it.

[B]

I got excited about some of the names that I saw rumored to the Astros in the outfield while I was gone on vacation last week. A couple of the other Colorado guys.

[C]

Nicki Maniac is awesome dude. Like he like honestly. And what's so funny is, is that people were laughing at the trade rumor when it came up two years ago.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

And then he goes to Colorado and immediately even when you throw in the luxury tax that is Horse field in the elevation, he still is hitting well.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like he still has done a good job of hitting for what you want in the six or seven hole of your lineup and a left handed bat that would be great to be able to add in as a full time starter. That way you don't have to see a platoon of Jake Myers or Joey Leprofito or who you call on up.

[B]

That would excite me for sure. I guess from Seth you brought up the word legacy. I guess from a legacy standpoint if I'm, if I'm trying to be positive about this with Lance because the injuries just are such a dark cloud over everything. Especially in light of the fact that he got a deal. He got, he got paid the 24 straight curveballs in Game 7. Will that, will that be the thing for. I say long time Astro fans.

[D]

You know, every time we talk about this, I can't. I still have to. I remind myself that man, McCullers was, has been with the organization his entire career. He was there from in 2015 when they first became a competitive baseball team again on through, up through this year. But what we remember, yeah, most notably was against the Yankees in that. In the playoffs seven and he was like a huge part of all of that. But. But because there are so many names and guys that did big things. Dallas Keiko is almost an afterthought in a lot of people's minds, and I feel like. I feel like he's neglected in terms of people talking about they should have more emotional attachment to Dallas KO. Okay. But he also. He's been out of the organization, which means we didn't have to worry about him being a drain on the organization.

[B]

Yeah, it's not gone well since. For Dallas, since he's left here, that's for sure. Okay. So along those lines, Cole, you've got a little exercise for us.

[G]

I thought.

[C]

I thought this would be fun because I see this all the time, like, on social media, and it's a fun way to go ahead and talk about. Where does Lance McCullish Jr. Rank in the legacy of P pitchers for the Astros over the last 25 years? So it's called. It's called king of the hill.

[B]

King of the hill.

[C]

What you're doing is Lance McCullers Jr. Is staying pat every single time.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

But you can knock him off of the hill by picking this other pitcher.

[B]

And then once that other pitcher gets picked, he's now the king. He's now the king of the hill. Sorry.

[C]

It goes.

[B]

This is good. So we'll.

[G]

And.

[H]

And.

[B]

And so is this in sort of an ascending order of how good guys are? Yeah. You're not going to put him up against Justin Verlander. That would make for a very short segment.

[C]

He's like, at number two. Number three. We. We can at least get one name in here.

[B]

Okay, good. Yeah.

[C]

Lance McCullers Jr. Or Brad Peacock.

[B]

Okay, so Brad. Oh, Brad Peacock again. Brad Peacock, who got mentioned by name by Donald Trump when they visited the White House because someone had clearly handed him a piece of paper that listed the pitchers by number of wins that they had that year. And Peacock had the second most wins on the team behind, I think, Dallas Keiko that year.

[D]

Do you have the Jose L2. They drop. Is that still a drop? The. The Donald Trump saying Altuve.

[B]

Jo Altuve.

[D]

It was awesome.

[B]

The best was when they would freeze Altuve in a glare.

[D]

Yeah, they did them. They did alt dirty there.

[A]

No, they did.

[B]

They totally did. It was really funny, though.

[I]

Not.

[D]

I have zero clue how anybody feels about anybody politically, except, like, in that it was like a classic still frame moment where it made it look like Altuve.

[B]

Where is. So Seth Peacock versus McCullers. I say McCullers on that.

[D]

I say McCullers.

[B]

Yeah, McCuller. Okay, let me add this to McCullers finished seventh for the Cy Young in 2021. Like Lance McCullers before. Like, the second or third elbow surgery when he pitched was good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Every time it was until, like, 2025, and then he just. He lost it. So who's Next, Lance Carlos Jr. Or Colin McHugh? Oh, Colin McHugh is underrated, but a very underappreciated pitcher. Very underrated. He had that kind of. He. He had the sweeper before. The sweeper was a thing back in the day. Like, he had some weird movement on his pitches.

[D]

Yeah. But I feel like. Yeah, this is still the preliminary rounds, and this is a pretty easy.

[C]

They're going to get harder, I promise you.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know. I know. I'm dreading it.

[F]

Lance.

[D]

With colors.

[B]

Yeah, we'll go with colors.

[D]

I don't know if you. Cole, I don't know if you have ever heard us do Circle of Trust.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I've paid attention to it before.

[D]

It's painful for me. If Altuve ever comes up. Oh, my God.

[B]

Guess what we're doing tomorrow.

[D]

Oh, no.

[B]

I just decided two seconds ago.

[C]

Lancer colors, Junior or go back to yesteryear? Wandy Rodriguez?

[B]

I don't know. Lance Wandi was underrated back in the day. What do you think, Seth?

[D]

I'll go with Lance.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we'll go Lance on that one.

[C]

Speaking of which, the former Cy Young winner himself, Lance McCullish Jr. Or Dallas Kai.

[B]

Hey, mister. Hey, Mr. Kykal. Mr. Kykal supporter over there.

[D]

You know what I am? I'm like the guy who's like, oh, yeah, I love the Dead. I love Grateful Dead. Oh, yeah. What's your favorite song?

[B]

Touch?

[D]

Your concert you've been to. What do you mean?

[C]

Like, you know, how long did you travel with them? Well, how many weeks are you on tour?

[D]

Okay. I like the ice cream. I like Cherry Garcia. That's right.

[B]

That's right. Thank God.

[D]

Boy, you know what, Lance? By virtue of him being so devoted to the city of Houston and the organization, and it's a lot easier to be devoted when you've got a pile of money that they're giving you, too. But he. Look, he got Bury Me, Bury Me in the H tattoo as a young man.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know he.

[D]

At a time when it was harder

[B]

to remove tattoos, I didn't know that it's a tattoo. I just thought he screamed it at the parade.

[D]

I thought he got the. I thought his tattoo says Barry.

[C]

I know he has an H tattoo.

[B]

Fact check us on this.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Fact check me on that.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

So it's still. Though, as much as I think Dallas Keiko is underappreciated, I think Lance McCullers is more underappreciated.

[B]

This is. This is the first one I've really had to, like, give it some time. He. Dallas Keiko won a Cy young award.

[D]

Dallas Keiko may or may not have been one of the catalysts to Justin Verlander even being.

[B]

There's no may or may not. He sold him on coming here.

[D]

Well, the first but even the catalyst to trying to sign him was him publicly criticizing the organization for not making a move at the initial trade.

[B]

Good point, Seth.

[D]

So and then, yeah, Hurricane Harvey was going on. Kate and Justin were sitting up in their evil Laird and wondering what the hell's going on in Houston. And Dallas Keiko assured him it's not that bad. Delay a little, probably, but that's what you got to do some.

[B]

It's just puddles. It's just. There's some of the streets. You're going to splash some people on the side.

[D]

Yeah. Dallas Kuykel, who we know lived in a high rise up the road, was just fine.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So for the tattoo, he has a Houston based tattoo, but it's the B someone sign over in the skyline of Houston with.

[D]

Even better. That's even better.

[B]

Houston right there. Yeah, yeah. Because bury me in the H could mean any number of things. Yeah.

[D]

You know what, super baller? If he found out who's responsible for painting that be someone sign and actually had him do the tattoo.

[B]

But, sir, I'm an accountant. That's okay.

[C]

Okay, so you guys are going.

[B]

We'll go McCullers, mostly because I want to keep the game going. I'm guessing these are going to get harder.

[D]

I would have chosen McCullers, though.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, McCullers.

[C]

Lance McCullers Jr. Or Andy Pettit.

[D]

Oh, wow. Oh, you son of a. Oh, crap. Out of nowhere.

[C]

I'm telling you, these are going to get hard.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Different eras.

[D]

Home. Literally homegrown. I mean, Pasadena grown.

[C]

Because think about this for a second. Think of them as an Astro, not in the longevity of the career.

[B]

I wasn't here. So for. For me, Cole. Oh, two or like 01 to 06 is a big Houston blind spot for me because I. I was here from 94 to 01.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I moved away for six years and I moved back here to get into radio. So I was here for zero of Seth's NFL career. I don't even believe he was an actual player. I think he's lying.

[D]

But.

[B]

But I. So I wasn't. I mean, I can look at the stats and actually. Do you have the stats for you? Yeah, I was.

[D]

Yeah. And like here. I was playing for the Texans at the time.

[B]

Yeah. Seth was here.

[D]

No. And I've always liked and admired Andy Pettit.

[H]

Oh.

[D]

He's one of my favorite pitchers of all time. His career is sandwiched by the Yankees. And he's.

[B]

He's a Yankee.

[D]

He's 100% a Yankee.

[C]

Here's what he was. He was 37 and 28 in three years with the Astros. He had a 338 ERA and 519.2 innings pitched.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

He had 428 strikeouts.

[B]

Okay. He's already pitched more innings in three years than Lance did in 12.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I. You know what? For the reasons that we shouldn't have even had to bring up the stats. He was a Yankee on this side of it. He's a Yankee on the other side. Lance McCullers is going to be buried in the H. Damn it.

[E]

All right.

[D]

We'll take McCullers. I want to. You know what though? Like what Was he in the playoffs with Houston? I'm having stat cast sort it right now. Four two six ERA's. No.

[B]

24 Curb McCullers was a two six three ERA in the world Series.

[D]

I'll tell you one thing though. Like Lance said, bury me in the H. But Andy Pettit, you know, built a compound in Pasadena in his old neighborhood or in Deer Park. Excuse me. The. Yeah. Sorry. Excuse me.

[B]

I'm just heading off the Deer park people.

[D]

You know. But Lance McCullers, that was a good one though.

[C]

All right. Lancer Cullors JR or from Bravaldez.

[B]

It's got to be from. This is where. This is where Lance gets pushed off the hill. And even though from her felt like he wanted to bury Cesar Salazar in the H. I still got buried in Detroit.

[C]

That's the question I got.

[B]

He Fromer is and was for the Astros. So good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, Lance never had a season like Robert did in 2022.

[D]

And the opposite of what Lance has been from. Or would just eat up innings.

[B]

Eat up in it.

[D]

You know, just that part of it. He was just an absolute horse.

[E]

Yep.

[D]

So a horse and a horse.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

It's hard to do.

[C]

So. So these were the other four that were listed that we could have gotten to. I wonder just would you pick any of them?

[B]

Let's play. Let's rapid fire's. King of the hill.

[F]

Now.

[B]

Let's rapid fire these.

[C]

Okay. FR Valdez or Garrett Cole?

[D]

Oh, sorry, sorry. No, no, no. I thought he said. I thought he said Lance McCullough. Sorry, I forgot. I forgot the way the. I probably forgot the way it all worked. Yeah.

[B]

Good job.

[D]

I would go for from.

[H]

Okay.

[D]

You've made up for not having Trump's thing from her. Yeah.

[C]

Valdez or Roger Clemens?

[D]

I'm still actually a little bit scared of Roger.

[B]

Roger might be listening. Yeah, we'll go. Roger.

[D]

Roger wouldn't know it. I never show it when I'm talking to him. I'm a little. Roger's one of those guys that's way bigger than you expect him to be.

[B]

He's a horse. Yeah, he's a horse.

[C]

Roger Clemens or the wizard of O. Roy Oswald.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[D]

I would have to go with Oswald

[C]

and then Roy Oswalt.

[D]

And don't tell. Don't tell Roger where I am.

[C]

Roy Oswald and future wearing a Houston Astros cap in the hall of fame. Justin JV.

[B]

JV's the best pitcher in the history franchise. That, that's, that's that.

[D]

I'm a little scared of Roy Oswald, though, too.

[B]

Well, he's got a tractor.

[C]

He can find you. I can probably.

[D]

The whole thing about Oswald.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It has nothing to do with size or anything. He's that guy. No, Oswald's classically that guy. They're like, yeah, don't. Don't judge him by his stature. That's a. That's a dude you don't want to tangle with.

[C]

Seth, Roy's got nothing to do right now. He can easily find you. Justin's got things to worry about at this point.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. I would go with Verlander.

[B]

That's true. All right, Peyton Pendergast with you. Cole Thompson hanging out with us. All right, coming up next, should this lady have to drive around with this as her randomly selected license plate on her car? Florida woman. We will have that for you. Coming up next. Are you looking for a pro football

[D]

podcast that doesn't put you to sleep with spreadsheets or insult you with mindless hot takes? Football is fun. Why shouldn't your football podcast be the same?

[B]

Follow and listen to Heed the Call

[C]

NFL podcast with Dan Hanses and Mark Sessler wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

Yeah. People pointing out Fielder, Jaden Fielder, Cecil Fielder's grandson, Prince Fielder's son, the player who came over in the. In the trade. People pointing out he was an undrafted free agent. He's not listed as one of their top 30 prospects. He's got good numbers. He's got an OPS over 800 right now.

[D]

Oh, right. Yeah.

[B]

He's not even really a prospect. We know, we know. We're not saying he's the future.

[D]

Yeah, no, no. I have brought him up as a prospect. Like. Yeah, like you just. Just know that he's not gonna likely be part of a World Series.

[C]

No, he's joining the squad tonight.

[B]

This is what's happening. This is not the outfield bat that the Astros are looking for right now.

[D]

Right.

[B]

The major league level. He's just. Yeah, he's a. He's a low level prospect.

[C]

Credit for crowds. Dude, Dana did draft a power hit it left handed bat. So maybe that was.

[B]

He did. He did. All right, so this. I saw this video yesterday. There's a 77 year old Florida woman named Nancy Della streeto and she's 77 years old and she just, I guess just got a new car maybe and got some new plates and you know, I've never had vanity plates before. Cole, have you ever had vanity plates?

[C]

No, but my wife does.

[B]

She has vanity.

[C]

Yes, she's Vanity Place. What do they say it says I should know this I'm talking about.

[B]

Yeah, it's just a license plate.

[C]

KLD because it was her former last name. 75.

[B]

Oh, so they're obsoleted now. Yeah, because you took her hand in marriage. Okay. Have you ever had a Seth?

[C]

She hasn't changed it yet because doesn't want to pay the price.

[B]

Yeah, I don't.

[C]

I don't blame her.

[B]

Yeah, who cares? Yeah, don't let her know what your

[C]

last name is, please.

[B]

I'm gonna guess a hard no at minus 20,000 on Seth Payne. Having vanity plates on anything. Yeah, no, no, not a vanity plate guy has Brandy.

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, I would have divorced her.

[B]

Absolutely.

[D]

I think if I. No, if I did get vanity plates, I would do something like, I would try to. I would get like Jordan 23 or something. If people wonder if this.

[B]

You don't want that.

[D]

Is that Michael Jordan in that Honda

[C]

Accord, Would you have the A spell with the at symbol? That way it makes it even cooler.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Go full like Wing Ding style like the kids.

[B]

So anyways, 77 year old Nancy Della Streeto. The plates that she was randomly given. SQZ A55. Okay.

[D]

Oh, okay. It took me a second to realize what this might be interpreted.

[B]

Qz. In other words, Squeeze Ass appears to be an abbreviation for squeeze and then a 55. The two fives are subtle. Ss here.

[C]

They look like Ss.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. If you're just glancing at it, it looks like it says Squeeze Ass. She will not drive with these plates.

[H]

I don't think a woman that lives in a senior community that's going to be 77 years old next month will be driving around with what this plate has to say.

[B]

I double and triple checked to make sure that this is not AI.

[D]

I kind of like her voice. She can. She can get it. Yeah. This is like a 77 year old.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Then play it. Then play it one more time.

[H]

I don't think. Oh, a woman that lives in a senior community that's going to be 77 years old next month will be driving around with what, this?

[B]

She almost sounds. Boy, that sounds like a grandmother. You do not want to get on her bad side.

[D]

I wonder, though, too. Like, did she realize it herself or did one of her grandkids say, hey, Grandma, you know, in the way you explain things to your grandma. I wouldn't think this, but some other people. Some other people might think that this says Squeeze Ass.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you think she knew at the time when she looked at it, or did somebody have to point that out to her?

[D]

Like, hey, the other thing, especially when she says living in a senior community, you might think like, oh, yeah, yeah. Those places are hotbeds for all kinds of fun and frivolity. Man. There are a lot of people that just don't. They're. They're widowers or their widows and they got nothing to lose. They're not looking to fall in love. They're just looking for a good time. She's probably like, I'm driving around with this thing. I'm going to have every bastard in a golf cart chasing after me grammy.

[E]

Just.

[C]

Just make sure that you don't have any pineapple sitting in the front seat. We don't.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. Oh, and it's in Florida. Yeah, exactly. Well, there's that. There's that one huge community that retired. It's like a whole town where.

[C]

It's not the Oaks. I know what you're talking about, though. I'll tell you, but they've got like,

[D]

the highest STD rates in the nation. It's.

[B]

And it's an old people.

[D]

Yes, yes. Sean, this is what I'm telling you. You see, this is one of those things. You think I'm joking about, like. No, these places are like, it's Swingerville in some of these places. Yeah, yeah. I keep trying to Get Brandon to move there.

[B]

I was gonna say, like, I haven't really thought that far ahead, but this is definitely giving me some food for thought. Absolutely. Other than the STD part, that sounds like you'll be fairly miserable at age 82.

[D]

You know what's annoying about this, though, is that the DMV will flag all kinds of things just in case they might mean something dirty and that this is. But then here is the DMV just randomly spitting one out and not catching it on their own.

[B]

I wonder if the fact that the two S's in squiz ass are numbers, if that made it kind of fly below the radar.

[D]

Right, right. Yeah. It's not something obvious.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

It's the same like. Yeah. It's kind of like one of those little captcha things.

[B]

Right.

[D]

You know, computers don't pick up on it the way. The way that humans do.

[B]

Exactly, exactly. Exactly. So. So this woman is not driving around with those plates. All right.

[C]

Florida.

[D]

There was. I don't know if I should say this or not. I will. I was in the Cleveland airport once.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And I. Let me think about this for a second, whether I should divulge or not. It was a license plate that I was amazed. It had the. It was Ms. B. Something else. After that, it was another letter of the Alphabet. And it was. I was kind of surprised, and I felt like I was like, well, it's definitely. It was definitely miss and not misses because we know what happens. Oh.

[B]

Oh, yeah. So that was the whole. That was the whole place.

[D]

Just those four letters, blank space. Okay, fill in a letter after that.

[C]

So, Seth, the place you were thinking of is the Villages.

[D]

The Villages.

[C]

It is a 55 acre.

[B]

It is a 50.

[C]

This small town that has a movie theater, golf courses, actual scorching inferno of herpes. And the number one going on version of herpes in Florida.

[D]

Does it say that? Is that what it said when you found it?

[B]

The herpes? I added that part.

[D]

That was one of those things that I heard once, and then I never, like. I never checked it or anything.

[B]

Got to be true. Hey, did you guys see the. The Houston woman that went viral practicing pole dancing in her apartment?

[D]

No.

[B]

She may be listening. She's from Houston. Her name is Asha Gilbert. And it was on all the. It was on the news everywhere, but obviously here in Houston. So she's in her apartment and she's got a pole. Not permanently installed, like a temporary pole.

[C]

Right.

[B]

That, like, you. You raise it so it clamps to your ceiling. It's an Adjustment.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It's basically as a shower curtain, but like a big plates. Right. You know, so, so I. It's in and it's a poll. Like it's a legit poll. So she was, she had. She has a big screen TV on the wall and she's watching a lesson on how to pole dance, which I think that's a good woman right there. Like learning how to do that for. Either for work or for her man. Either way or for both. Or both.

[C]

We're not judging.

[B]

Yeah. She's enterprising. She's eager. Well, she got to a move where she had to essentially wrap herself around the pole with her feet off the ground. The pole tips over.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

And the, the plate that was supposed to be clamped to the ceiling, like she didn't clamp it, you know, so that, like, so the pole. She was basically getting on a pole that was ready to tip over. It tipped over and the pole hit the sprinkler head on the ceiling and the sprinkler head just exploded.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And was soaking her apartment. She and she. People are probably wondering, well, she was this staged or whatever. I. My theory is she was shooting the video so she could, you know, critique herself with her pole dancing lessons. I don't think she was trying to damage her apartment with the sprinkler. But it's. It's a pretty incredible visual. And I get nervous every time I see stuff like that.

[D]

Well, it's like one of those, those doorway. Those doorway pull up bars.

[B]

You're talking about the pole? Yeah.

[D]

No, yeah, like. No, I'm saying you get nervous the same way when you look those pull up bars that you put in a door stay that. Yeah. It never seems like it's quite right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I didn't try that anymore.

[B]

The pull ups. No, no, no, no.

[C]

No bars. I'm going. If I'm doing it, I'm going to the gym. Oh, by the way, Seth, we have a comment on the text line that is confirming what we already knew. The Villages. I used to work there. My wife and I ran a few of their Entertainment venues. They're 135,000 residents. It literally takes 50 minutes to drive from one side to the next. And the STD thing is very real.

[B]

Okay, so all the preconceived notions about this are all accurate.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

If you're in a 55 plus subdivision, you ain't just hanging out and going to play play bingo.

[B]

No. You're going to get in the gonorrhea.

[D]

Doesn't Mean, everybody there is there for that reason, but there's just a lot of people that are just like, hey, let's. What I got to lose, you know,

[C]

Nobody's judging me here.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

All it takes is a few people, though, man. That's, you know, it's. If you get the most promiscuous one. Now, I can tell you right now, Nancy Della Streeto is not spreading any of the herp or the gonorrhea at all. I can promise you that.

[D]

Hey, but I just found the. I found the picture on my phone. I definitely. I didn't want to. I wanted to be sure I didn't misremember that the license plate. It's a Cleveland license plate on a Mercedes S300. It actually is Mrs. BJS, like. Like that gets through. That gets through the DMV.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

This other one. Yeah, maybe.

[B]

Maybe it was a vanity plate.

[C]

Oh, that's close.

[B]

Maybe she wants her business out there. Man, I felt like her husband should

[D]

have sprung for the S500. If that's. What

[B]

if she's married and that's who she is, she's not driving a nice enough car.

[D]

This is an unappreciative husband, I'll tell you that much.

[C]

But if it's a business. Put the QR code right in the corner. You know where to stand.

[D]

Oh, yeah, no, but it's Mrs. It's Mrs.

[C]

Does she have a pineapple?

[B]

The front seat? I guess that's the bigger question.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. Pain and pender gas with you. The other voice you hear, that's Cole Thompson. Final segment coming up. Let's circle back one more time to. To C.J. stroud and. And Jeremy Fowler. The one thing, if the Texans do this, you can win with CJ Stroud. Did you have something you want?

[D]

It was a Mercedes C300. I wanted it for the sake of accuracy.

[B]

Where. Where is. Is that. Where is that on the spectrum of Mercedes? Is it.

[D]

Oh, it's not. I don't know. I think that. I don't know. I think it's like with Mercedes and nicer cars.

[B]

She deserves better if that's her.

[D]

I threw out S500 like I knew something, but I don't know.

[B]

Coming up, final segment, we'll find out what the guys got going on on in the loop as well. We'll do all that coming up next,

[D]

the podcast Campus Files is back with

[A]

more stories of scandal, crime and intrigue on college campuses.

[C]

It is not hard to destroy a college. It's almost like a university under Siege

[A]

listen to and follow campus files available

[D]

now wherever you get your podcast.

[B]

All right, pain and pender gas with you. Final segment, we'll find out what the guy's got going on on in the Loop. Jeremy Fowler. Was this when he was on with Dan Patrick, Seth the talking about the Texans running the football and whatnot?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, gotcha. Yep. Jeremy Fowler on the Dan Patrick Show. If the Texans can do this one thing, I just spoiled what it was. They'll win the Super Bowl.

[E]

I think the offense he's had changes. You go from OC Bobby Slowik to Nick Kaley. Like, they need to be able to run the ball and simplify some things for him. And once they do, his arm talent and his ability can take over. But let's be honest, Dan, I mean, Houston and I'm doing this top 10 series, they have the best defense in the league. They have talent on offensive, rebuilt their offensive line. If they can run the ball, they probably, I mean, I think they'll win the Super Bowl. Like, I think they have that kind of team. And if they do that, then that changes things for C.J. stroud in a big way.

[D]

Yeah, that was like, kind of pretty straightforward. Just like, if they can run the ball, I think they'll win the Super Bowl. And you know, that's along the lines of what we've been talking about with the Texans in that offense. It's just, man, the simple ability to run the football changes a lot of things. Whether, whether it makes CJ Stroud markedly a better quarterback or not. If you just take last year and add in the ability to run the ball in the red zone, I think that CJ doesn't have to be an all pro caliber player or anything. That's a much different offense. If they could just, if they get gained. There's so many instances, like, remember when they ran it three times in a row down on the goal line in the red zone, that like, if they can get an extra 6 inches on one of those plays, then between the combination of a better offensive line and David Montgomery, that's a much different offense. They were, they, you know, they finished 13th and scoring, which is a little fugazi because of some of the blowout games and everything. But they also had one of the worst red zone offenses in the league. Being able to run the ball like an average football team would have made them a much better red zone offense.

[B]

Well, the short yardage is the big one and you kind of touched on that.

[E]

That's.

[B]

That's to me, is the Value in David Montgomery.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Is the short yardage stuff. You know the third and fourth and shorts in between the twenties. The, the, the fact that you. We won't. I'm guessing when we come in on Monday we shouldn't. It's assuming health for David Montgomery. We will not be debating should they have given the ball to British Brooks twice in that series in Golden Go. Remember that? Remember that. So I think that's. That to me is the biggest value in David Montgomery is in these short yarded situations. Now naturally, I think they're, they're expecting him to be a lot more than that.

[C]

Right.

[B]

He's going to be their bell cow. But I think that's. That to me is where the, the, the, the biggest thing Montgomery brings is the short is a, is a good solution in short yardage. Yeah.

[D]

I don't know, you know, like I don't have any need to see David Montgomery get a thousand rushing yards. I would just like if it works out well where he and Woody Marks and maybe every now and then a Gewar Jordan or something can, can platoon it. You can be a much better offense without having to have a stud like even, even a Pro bowl caliber running back on that offense.

[C]

Okay, I have a question then for both of you. Would you rather see David Montgomery get 1,000 yards and be a Pro Bowler but he only finishes with six rushing touchdowns or him finish with under 800 rushing yards but 12 rushing touchdowns.

[B]

Oh, that's a no brainer. That's. And I would love for David Montgomery to be able to go to a Pro bowl because he probably got a bonus or something in his contract for that. But I would love. But. And I think fantasy players, especially Houston fans who tend to draft their guy

[C]

who's had him on his team for three years.

[B]

Yeah. Right. And he's. And so that's the kind of guy you want. But I'm independent of fantasy football and Pro bowl accolades and everything else. If the Texans starting running back has 800 yards but is scoring 12 touchdowns, that means the offense is working.

[D]

That's the running back equivalent of Devonte Adams on the Rams last year, you know, Devonte Adams had 14 touchdowns. He was just a red zone machine.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

And yeah, if David Montgomery is that guy that can punch in some of those, I would like Kylie Fairbairn. I don't want to see Kylie Fairbairn as much as I did last year.

[B]

Nope.

[D]

I'm sorry, Kymi, it's. But it's out of a, you know,

[C]

disrespect of the mvp. I see how it is.

[D]

Yeah. I know the.

[C]

At times he was like, let's be real, he was the MVP at times last year for Houston.

[B]

You're bringing in the kicker for the MVP as the final is your finishing move on the show.

[D]

That's how down bad we were, though. I agree.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

True.

[B]

That is true. But I just think that I like, I love the question. I think the correlation of having a lead running back with 800 yards and 12 touchdowns to me is that that just means, like that. That he only had 800 means one of two things. Either CJ is cooking for like 4200 because you got to get it down in position for him to get touchdowns, which means you're likely moving the football a lot.

[C]

Right.

[B]

So that means one of two things or both. Either that CJ is cooking way more than he was last year and. Or Woody Marks has settled in as a nice number two. Who's getting you 550 yards on the ground, getting you your 450, or, you know, three 50, 400, 450 through the air. That's the. That's one of the other biggest ripple effects I'm hoping, of David Montgomery is that we get to see this version of Woody Marks that we heard about the day he was drafted out of Mississippi State, where he's catching a bunch of balls and things like that. He didn't get to do that last year. They had to lean on him to do regular running back.

[C]

Usc.

[B]

Usc. He was at State before that. Yeah, Mississippi State and then usc. Yeah, he was catching all the balls with Lincoln Riley.

[C]

But, like, think about it, like, as you talk about how important it is for those touchdowns, you have guys who were average who finished with. If I'm not mistaken, the leader in touchdowns last year was Jonathan Taylor. But Josh Allen was number two in rushing. In rushing touchdowns, how many did he have? 14.

[B]

Jeez.

[C]

But Josh Jacobs had 14 rushing touchdowns last year. Only 900 yards.

[B]

That's it. See that, that would be.

[D]

Oh, good.

[B]

That's a home run year for David

[C]

Montgomery because John Robinson had 1400 yards but only seven touchdowns.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it's like, what would you rather have?

[D]

Yeah. And the reason I brought up Devonte Adams was because he had 789 receiving yards.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

So you might. Like when. When Stefan Diggs said, hey, I'd be the best number two receiver out there. Like, okay, cool, you might get a thousand yards, but I'll take the 16 touchdowns.

[B]

100%. Dude, if. God, is that all that's all Devonte Adams had for yardage, huh?

[D]

He was just a red zone mania.

[B]

Every, every Rams game I watched, it felt like he caught two touchdowns in those games. Yeah, that's wild. That is wild.

[C]

He won me fancy last year.

[B]

I appreciate devonte.

[C]

Yeah, devonte did. Single handedly.

[B]

Yeah. One more from Jeremy Fowler on what C.J. stroud himself needs to do for the Texans to win a Super Bowl.

[E]

Stroud just needs to do just enough so that, that's what's crazy about these quarterback rankings is the strength from 10 to 20 is as good as it's ever been since I've been doing this since 2020. Like you can be the 20th best quarterback technically and you can win a Super bowl and Sam Darnold just did and he's 11 and Jalen Hurts just did and he's 17. So. But people when they were doing the rankings, they were feeling that like there's good depth now at quarterback.

[B]

He's talking about. Yeah, yeah, there's. There, there, there is good depth. That, that was just so disappointing to see CJ with the one vote in that, in that exercise.

[D]

But that part, and that's something people have been talking about this off season. You know, you never want to just overly generalize based on recent results or anything, but man, just by virtue of the fact that the rushing, the run game has come back into vogue and become all of a sudden so important again. It's that, yeah, like a more balanced team, you might be better served these days by having a really balanced football team than by having one of the top five quarterbacks. Or at the very least, it's a lot easier to envision winning a, winning a Super bowl with a simply a balanced football team that you've got a shot. And we're not saying anymore, oh my gosh, we just have to get a Patrick Mahomes. You gotta get, you gotta get one of these types of quarterbacks. I don't think people feel that way anymore.

[C]

Talk to yourself five years ago and say, Sam Darnold, super bowl champion. Meanwhile, Josh Allen has yet to be in a Super Bowl.

[B]

Yeah, 100%. That's what I was just thinking the same thing. I'm like, this is what the Seahawks

[D]

did, you know, like going to like the whole. Kaimi, you know, you mentioned we had to see Kymi Fairburn. That's again the big tragedy about the Texans being so ineffective in the red zone. Last year they were 28th, 29th in red zone efficiency. But, but they were 18th in terms of overall trips to the red zone.

[I]

Yeah.

[D]

So like just if you just. If you had just converted some of those into touchdowns at an average rate, it's. You're a top 10 offense in terms of scoring. It's just that's how bad it was. And so much of that comes back to short yardage rushing and just rushing in general. Your ability to run the ball down in the red zone makes. Opens up. That's where you get those wide open Dalton Schultz touchdowns. You want to. If you run the ball really effectively. That's when linebackers and safeties are so dialed in versus the run that they completely forget to cover a tight end.

[B]

So there's a correlation. The Texans improve the running game to Dalton. I feel like we're turning it into fantasy football. Yeah. That's all I'm thinking about right now. It's like, huh. I like to cut a cess jib right there. Get eight touchdowns out of Dalton Schultz and get him for $2 in my auction next year. Yeah, that's sheep. No, I'm. Well, yeah, because you're.

[C]

Because we do auction too.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, don't look at the. Don't look at the Texan skill players other than Nico fantasy rankings right now. It's depressing.

[B]

It is.

[C]

Is Montgomery that low?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah. He's out. I want to say he's.

[C]

He's not in the top 32. I saw that.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I can't believe he's out. If he's outside the top 40, that's malpractice.

[B]

Oh, you got to take him.

[C]

Oh, is he?

[D]

No, I think. No. He's going to be your red zone guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

He's.

[B]

There will be value. And I. And at all the drafts I go to, I'll get accused of being a homer when I take him, you know, with a pick that nobody's thinking of taking him with. But he's. He's going to get. He's going to get all that workage down there.

[C]

The dude has as many touchdowns in three years as the entire Texans have in three years.

[E]

Really?

[C]

He had 33 rushing touchdowns during his tenure with Detroit. The Texans had 33 rushing touchdowns without in the last three seasons.

[B]

Oh, my God. Tied with everybody. And he had Jameer Gibbs on his head.

[C]

He had a split carriage.

[D]

The other thing about it too is that I think he's a better receiver than people realize because always you're always going to be chat like when they got Jameer Gibbs on the team, that's going to be the guy that gets the highlight reels and everything on that. But, yeah, I think. I think that they. I think that they like the dynamic of. Okay. Yeah, it's easy to think of it as, okay, David Montgomery's the hammer, and Woody Martin is. You know, it can be your receiving back, but Montgomery can be a rhythm changer when used as a receiver, too. If teams are loading up versus the run.

[F]

Yep.

[B]

I know John Harris. If he's listening, I know we'll nod his head. And I say this every time you bring that up. Both of them out there at the same time. Montgomery. Montgomery and Woody Marks out there at the same time. That's. That's. That's what Johnny Harris. Johnny Harris loves putting the two. Both of your running backs.

[C]

Are we going Woody and Buzz with that nickname now? Is that what they decided upon today? I don't know. He's. I think he's retiring Knuckles because he doesn't want to do without.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[C]

So they got to find a new nickname, Woody.

[D]

And I will tell you one thing. I've done a couple of videos on my YouTube about David Montgomery. I am always so impressed by the number of Lions fans show up in the comments and just gush about David Montgomery. Like, they love. They love David Montgomery.

[B]

I like that trade, man. Someone pointing out on the text page the. The viral video that we were talking about in the previous segment of that Houston woman that was practicing pole dancing in her kitchen. And the pole. Reggie's nodding his head. He's seen the video. The pole hitting the sprinkler, the text message. The poor dog got soaked. The woman had a beautiful. Looked like a black lab, really, just sitting there, very docile, just watching her do her pole dancing. Then the sprinkler hits, and the dog's running around like a maniac.

[C]

Is it because of the sound that goes with the sprinkler, or is it just the water?

[B]

Probably the suddenness of all that water in a place that he's never been gotten wet before.

[G]

I honestly like to think that the lab was really concerned about the property damage and the cost.

[D]

That's for sure.

[B]

Call Geico. What's up, fellas? Welcome back, big dog. Thanks, man. It's good to be back. It's good to be back. Reggie Adatula, John Lopez. Yeah. Great to be back, man. And just having a good time with our friend Cole here, too.

[F]

Yeah, man. How about that?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

I already feel the college football.

[C]

I'm telling you, if I ever get to come back in with you and get talks. Talk smack. I Promise you, nobody in the city knows more about the sport than me.

[B]

College football.

[C]

College football.

[B]

You're putting yourself up against anybody.

[C]

I will go up against anybody.

[B]

You got good content.

[C]

I'm not even gonna worry about it. I can do this in my sleep or hungover and still be better.

[B]

Who's your team?

[D]

You versus John Harris in college football.

[G]

I like it.

[C]

He and I actually have gone to Big 12 media days before and we've. We shoot the breeze about it. So I. He is somebody I have an immense amount of respect for, for his knowledge.

[B]

Do you shoot the breeze or do you try to like one off each other? Do like a, you know, a measuring contest?

[C]

No, no, I like FCC regulation. So shoot the breeze is a fun.

[B]

Shoot the breeze.

[C]

I already said nip it in the butt twice today.

[B]

Nip it in the.

[G]

I did hear that. I did hear that.

[F]

Please don't say that anymore.

[G]

It's a.

[B]

It's a fine phrase saying it, actually.

[C]

Great phrase.

[F]

It's not even close to.

[B]

To find John's. In English, of course. Don't worry about it.

[C]

Yeah, but no, Alabama is where I went to college.

[B]

Oh, okay. Crimson Tide, huh?

[C]

And Kaylin boy, let's see what you do this year, buddy.

[B]

Yeah, man. Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

You're listening to KLT AM, KTFMHD 2. Houston An Odyssey sports station Cross stock brought to you by DNM Auto Leasing. Gentlemen, question of the day.

[F]

Very simple one. Okay, what's dumb could be sports.

[G]

How much time do you got aside

[F]

from nip it in the butt, but damn, it could be sports.

[B]

What is the. What is the genesis of this question?

[F]

France and England have to play a third place game. World Cup. They've always had that. They used to have that in the NCAA tournament and they did.

[G]

I didn't know that.

[B]

Yeah, late late 70s.

[F]

And then they realized. Then they realized that's dumb. That's just dumb, you know? So I'll give you some examples that just kind of popped into my head. CVS receipts. CVS receipts are dumb.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[F]

They're like.

[D]

Got some good deals. They've got some incredible deals. Have you ever looked at them?

[F]

No.

[B]

Crier to open it like a scroll.

[D]

My console is full of them. I always forget to use them. I forget to use them. But I've got my console as loaded with. It'll be like, you know, three for one on, like the actual deodorant that you use.

[F]

Okay, well, that's my. It's mine. And also for sports, I did one non sports just to Kind of get my thought process going. College football calling it the two minute timeout instead of the two minute one.

[G]

No, it's actually, it's.

[F]

It's accurate dumb.

[D]

So we have to go with the

[G]

anachronism the NFL has just because it's there.

[B]

It's ominous. It's a timeout and it happens in two minutes.

[F]

But the warning tells you the half is ending. Yeah, man, the half is ending.

[C]

But like at the same time, what makes college football so great is that it's not the NFL. So when you steal stuff from the NFL, it feels like you're just doing a carbon copy.

[F]

They steal everything from the NFL.

[C]

That's the point. I hate the. I hate the playoff extension.

[D]

I think. And honestly, John, I think the NFL steals more from high school.

[F]

Maybe.

[D]

Yeah, maybe.

[B]

I like 2 minute warning as well. I think it always felt like they were doing it to be politically correct. Warning is too ominous.

[E]

Oh yeah.

[F]

Like when they have a post game press conference now. Stepping up the student athletes from. Blah, blah, blah.

[B]

Student athletes.

[G]

That was a

[B]

stepping up. The mercenaries from North Carolina.

[D]

I would say mine. And I think a lot of people share this. The dumbest thing in sports is that fumbling through the end zone is an automatic turn.

[B]

That's a good one.

[F]

That's a good one.

[B]

That's a good.

[F]

Like.

[D]

Yeah, I, I'm cool with it even being a huge. Like, you got to go back to your own 20 or something. But. But like that being a turnover just. It's never made sense to me.

[E]

Correct.

[B]

I. I'm going to read the list of things that annoy me that I keep on my phone.

[F]

They're all dumb sports.

[B]

Sports related. Yeah, I've got them listed right here.

[C]

This spends a lot of your time,

[B]

the sports related ones. Well, I need to be reminded why I'm angry all the time. This helps. So guys who intercept passes on fourth down.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Instead of just knocking it down when

[D]

they've got no real chance of a. Yeah.

[B]

30 yards downfield, they like catch it like they're going to the ground.

[G]

Screw that. Yards. I'm looking at my stats and my money.

[B]

What are you talking about? It's dumb. I don't like NFL quarterbacks who go to press conferences still in their pads. Stop being such a. Try hard. Yeah, yeah. I'm so mad I haven't even showered yet. Now, Daniel Hunter did that last year in the post game show. I was not going to say that. I just said quarterbacks. That's all quarterbacks. You know what I Don't like analysts who compare football players to quarterbacks, particularly to Steph Curry. Oh, he's a lot like Steph Curry and he distributes. He's not anything like Steph Curry. Steph Curry, a basketball player. Stop it already.

[G]

Have you got. Have you gotten that feel if you've been. I know you've been watching some World cup like Darren Fletcher on. On the play by play has been doing A lot of this is like when the Atlanta Falcons and the New England Patriots.

[B]

You know, that's funny. I wonder if that was. I wonder if that was part of. Not the marching orders per se, but I wonder if like when they were related sometime. Like, do you guys like when you guys are. Because they have meetings galore for these war cups, obviously. Like, do they try to encourage you guys to like Americanize it a little

[D]

or just make it really relatable? Yeah, relatable.

[B]

Yeah, relatable. I'll only do a few more.

[G]

The

[C]

10 minutes.

[B]

I'll only do 26 more. The NBA in season tournament. Check and mate.

[F]

Dumb.

[B]

Dumb.

[D]

Do you like imagine I for. For trying to seem like I'm like sophisticated. I'm. I'm in favor of it.

[B]

You are?

[D]

Yeah, yeah. No, because I like, I like. I act like one of these people that are like, no, you got to understand the elegance of this.

[B]

I. I'll. Okay, I'll say this. You can have your in season tournament. I don't. I don't like. And maybe it's an old man take. I don't like the floors that they use for it. Fair.

[E]

That's fine.

[C]

Look, that's actually.

[B]

Those feel like I would play worse basketball on these floors.

[G]

The only. I think that they are atrocious to look at. They're hideous.

[F]

The re.

[G]

The thing that I appreciate about them is if you're going to do this thing in the course of the regular season, you have to make it very clear that it's dick different. And so that is an instant way for you to know it's a visual

[F]

way to do it.

[G]

I would like it to look better. Like, can we get better designers here?

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

But I understand that feeling and it's to the same degree of the NBA cup itself. Yeah, I feel like it's.

[I]

We.

[G]

We talked about how the regular season doesn't matter anymore and I appreciate you putting something in that understandably is not necessarily going to be an instant fix, but over generations you hope that it latches on and that it creates some level of, you know, meaning for this middle of the season. Because otherwise, like we're just sitting here and saying we need to find a way to make the regular season work, but not actually doing anything to that end.

[B]

How many seasons have they done it? Are we three seasons in on it at least?

[G]

Yes.

[B]

I will say this about it. I don't like, I'm not a big fan of it. I just think it's superfluous. But it's not going anywhere.

[F]

No.

[B]

And it does seem like it's. I would say it's picked up steam more than lost Steam. The in season tournament.

[D]

Yeah. But it's one of those things. It's like, yeah, it'll pick up steam and people start to care about it. But like this is one of those things that in Europe it's part of like they've been doing it forever.

[B]

Like a part of it. Soccer. Yeah.

[D]

I was like making me like enjoy this food that you don't actually like.

[E]

Right.

[D]

I didn't grow up with it. I'm not going to eat snails.

[G]

But the next generation of fans will. It'll just have been a thing that they knew.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

And then at that point, like, are you then. So this is a play in my mind for 10, 15 years from now. Yeah. Which not, not everybody has the, the audacity to do.

[B]

You know, last one. The whole Mr. Irrelevant Escapade.

[I]

Agreed.

[B]

That whole thing.

[G]

Agreed.

[B]

Oh, is the Last guy draft, Mr. Irrelevant. Oh, you know what? This group, this group of old folks in Florida are going to fly you down to go to Disney and you're going to go to dinner and you're going to do. Man, if I was the last guy draft, especially if I was a guy who was good in college, I would refuse that trip.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

And I would hope that Brock Purdy did. If Brock Purdy went on that trip, I think he should have to give back half of his contract that he signed.

[F]

That's pretty bold.

[C]

I think San Francisco Francis wanted to give back out the contract.

[B]

Maybe. You know who I always feel bad for?

[H]

Who?

[G]

Pick 256.

[B]

Right.

[G]

I'm just here. Oh. So I'm choplitter like this guy.

[C]

I'm actually a probably picking the driver.

[B]

The only benefit you get is you make like $256 more than the worst part of it.

[D]

The worst part of it is that Mr. Irrelevant, typically his signing bonus is. Is way less than a lot of undrafted rookie free agents. You know, like James Neal III got like a 2 this year for the Texans undrafted rookie free agent. His. He got like 250,000 in guaranteed money. Where like the seventh round pick isn't that much. You're like, you're get. I'm getting down to the seventh round pick and if I know some teams are interested in me, I'm going to be like, yo, please, I don't want to be Mr. Collins. Actually, I can buy my own damn trip to Disney with the extra hundred grand.

[B]

Seth is going all Lael Collins. Don't draft me. Don't draft me.

[C]

My is really quick. It's simply if you don't use your directional when you're driving and then get. And then afterwards about how you were getting cut off by somebody, that drives me nuts. I can't stand that there was a wreck.

[B]

And then it's sports. I like that.

[C]

The one that drives me crazy right now is you're trying to grow the game and you have it on streaming services. It's dumb in my opinion. Why are you trying to say, oh, let's watch the Field of Dreams game? But you can only have it if you have peacock. Like, no. Like nobody is gonna be interested in trying to get that game out there. If you're trying to grow, like, the NFL gets away with it because the NFL will always have fandoms. When you're not as big as a sport. You need to have it on the highest level for productivity. That way you're able to go ahead and get as many eyeballs on.

[B]

I told there were more Netflix subscribers than.

[F]

Yeah, I strongly disagree with that. I think these days the boxes all

[B]

pop up right on your previews of

[F]

what's happening on those channels.

[C]

Here's one text line that I actually agree with. Jinxing a no hitter by talking out of this.

[B]

Dumb is dumb is dumb.

[G]

Have some damn whimsy.

[C]

No, screw you.

[B]

I'll throw.

[D]

I'll throw in on top of that, just like how meager performance has to be to get a save as a reliever. I. For the life of me, I remember as a kid when I was. When it was explained to me what a save was, I was like, for that.

[F]

For that.

[D]

What you calling that a save?

[B]

You threw two, but it's all.

[D]

It's like three. Like, no, like, give me a one run margin or something. Like, how am I calling that a save? Like not blowing it isn't the same thing as saving something.

[B]

Yeah, quality start. Six innings, three earned runs. We don't like that either. That's a 4.5 ERA.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Quality light.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, right. Soft, quality stuff. All right, gentlemen, have a great show.

[G]

Thanks, man.

[B]

Seth, antibodies to you.

[D]

My friend antibodies to you. And I look forward to Cole winning his argument about Ennis Haywood with John Harris.

[B]

Oh, I can't wait.

[F]

That.

[B]

Let's go. Debate time. All right, we're done. We are out of time. Crosstalk brought to you by Dina Moto Leasing.

[D]

Lemonade.

[H]

Fresh squeezed lemonade.

[A]

Lemonade.

[C]

Oh, nuts.

[I]

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[D]

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