← Payne & Pendergast
Payne & Pendergast
PettyCast: Bird Says No Guys Who Played w/ LeBron + Trump Drive-by on Taft
00:19:50
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- [00:01]
Podcast Announcer
Every week on the Moth podcast, you'll hear true stories that will intrigue you, inspire you and make you laugh.
- [00:07]
Seth Payne
He said, is there anything in your diet that might be spiking your blood sugar? I said, sometimes I eat pizza until I'm unconscious. He said, I think that might be it for real.
- [00:18]
Podcast Announcer
Stories live on stage from comedians, astronauts, accountants, farmers, and people just like you. Follow and listen to the Moth wherever you get your podcasts. Oregon Parks make an Oregon Summer but what makes an Oregon park? Well, Oregon Lottery gameplay helps no matter the game. Megabucks, video lottery or keno funds from lottery games help support parks projects across the state, ensuring they stay safe, accessible and open for all. In fact, Discover State Park Scratches are in stores now. It's the perfect way to put a little bit of Oregon's parks in your pocket. The Oregon Lottery Together we do good things. Must be 18 or older to play. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only.
- [01:01]
Luke Morrow
Time to get petty here on Pain and Pendergast. We got the Petty cast coming up here in just a moment. I'm Luke Morrow in for Sean alongside Seth Payne.
- [01:09]
Seth Payne
Thanks for remembering that it's pedicast today. I don't know. That's. That's Sean's. I don't know if Parker tells the guys who come in and fill in for Sean just how much, just how little idea I have what's going on in the world. If you ask me, like, hey, when do we do the Petty cast? I might be like out of Sunday mornings. I don't know. So thanks. Good job as your, your first job is remembering which. Which segments go where.
- [01:35]
Luke Morrow
Yeah.
- [01:35]
Seth Payne
And you've done well with that.
- [01:36]
Luke Morrow
Well, I appreciate it. It's, you know, I have to do my research to make sure I'm on top of things. But yeah, you know, hey, I've noticed, I think it was like the first time I had worked with you and you're like, I don't know, ask Ben. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, ask Ben how this Ben and
- [01:50]
Seth Payne
Sean are the guys that know what. What is actually going on around here. I'm just along for the ride.
- [01:55]
Luke Morrow
And shout out to Ben. I haven't mentioned his name. I haven't intro'd him at the start of the shows the last two days. But holding it down as always on the other side of the glass. Time for the Petty cast, though. Nonetheless, it does happen every Tuesday here at this time at. At 8am so let's get petty. Let's get to some audio. This first one is Jeff Teague, former NBA player. And I'm trying to pull up the source of where he was. This was on the Volume Network. That's Colin Coward's podcast network.
- [02:27]
Seth Payne
Yeah.
- [02:27]
Luke Morrow
And so Jeff Teague was talking about. Larry Bird has one rule when building a team. Here's that rule for Larry Bird.
- [02:35]
Seth Payne
We was chilling and he was talking about how good LeBron was. And I was like, lebron better than you. He said, lebron's the greatest player ever, besides Michael.
- [02:42]
Luke Morrow
I was like, damn. He was.
- [02:43]
Seth Payne
I'll never pay anybody who played with LeBron. I would never pick him up on my team.
- [02:48]
Guest Speaker
Damn.
- [02:49]
Seth Payne
I said, why? He said, because he make them all look good. They all really sad. He said, you go get them and they're not going to be the same player.
- [02:57]
Guest Speaker
You want it.
- [02:58]
Seth Payne
That's. Is that Petty by. You know what? That's impressive because it made the Petty cast. It's Petty towards pretty much everybody who ever played with LeBron. And yet at the same time, it's Larry Bird saying that, oh, no, no, I'm not in that category. LeBron's. LeBron's way better than me. You don't. You don't necessarily hear that out of some of the guys that are in all time, great conversations just casually giving up a. Given up a spot on the list.
- [03:23]
Luke Morrow
Especially Bird, who's. Who is always very. At least confident. I was going to say arrogant. He was very confident. Probably arrogant too. So I'm surprised that Larry Bird said that. But yeah, that stood out to me as well. Props to him.
- [03:35]
Seth Payne
He's also like, that was before the current age. I don't think you could ever caught back in the day. I don't know if you would have caught most NBA players dead like power ranking themselves or anything or getting into that debate. Things have just changed so much. And now the guys that are actually, you know, still in the media and everything will talk about it and it's just. It's more standard, but I feel like that's a. It's hard to imagine a lot of the guys from the 70s, 80s and maybe early 90s or 90s talking all that much about it.
- [04:04]
Luke Morrow
By the way, is it Petty? My favorite Larry Bird story was when he decided to play with only his left hand against the Trailblazers in 1986 and I think scored like 40 points in the game using his offense.
- [04:15]
Seth Payne
Yeah. Good pettiness. Yeah. Petty, you know, Larry Bird with a Twitter account might feel a little bit like a young Alex Bregman. You know, he would just Like a young Larry Bird, I think, would have been warring with people on Twitter. So it's not. I'm not saying that, you know, he's any different than modern athletes or anything other than the era that he grew up in. As far as not signing anybody that played with LeBron because you get an inaccurate gauge of how good they are. I guess that's the. That's always the question is, all right, how do you account for that? And it's not like it's an exaggeration. Hearing it through Jeff Teague, I'm guessing that Larry Bird would more think, you know, you got to be really careful about. It's like in football when you sign a guy who just won a Super bowl and had a. You know, is the MVP of the super bowl or went through a really good playoff run. All right, what's he look like on a normal team in normal circumstances? Let's go with his career average. More so than that. For me, for a long time, I never. I didn't want an offensive coordinator who had worked with Tom Brady because I felt like, in the case of Bill o', Brien, it becomes too easy for those offensive coordinators to think that they had more to do with Tom Brady's success than they actually did or that anybody. Because Tom Brady doesn't look all that impressive physically, I think there's a temptation for people to believe that, oh, all we have to do is teach this guy the system. And he's even. He's got more impressive physical traits than Tom Brady. So he can be just as good as long as he just learns the system without recognizing that. Okay. Tom Brady's ability to learn and execute that system is a skill unto itself, and it's just because you can't see it or measure it. Sometimes people delude themselves into thinking Brian Hoyer can do it or Ryan Fitzpatrick can do it or somebody else can do it. It's a. It's kind of an insult to Tom Brady.
- [06:07]
Luke Morrow
I'm with you. Like, look for any. Yeah. Any coordinators working with good quarterbacks. Adam Gase got head coaching jobs because he was Peyton Manning's offensive coordinator. I think, as we found out, it was more about Peyton Manning than it was Adam Gase. Nathaniel Hackett is another one who's gotten opportunities because, like, he was Adam Aaron Rodgers, quarterback coach or whatever, you know, Like, I think it was more about the. I think it was more about the quarterback than it was the coach.
- [06:30]
Seth Payne
Well, like, Bruce Arians being the quarterback whisperer. I mean, like. All right. I mean, it Kind of helps when you work with Ross Roethlisberger and Andrew Locke and ultimately Tom Brady. Yeah, there's a little bit of the, The. The. The skill of the actual quarterback there that the guys that were good without Bruce Arians as well. But that's part of. That's part of where Bruce Arians is really smart. Choosing your. Choosing the tools you have to work with is part of being a good coach.
- [06:57]
Luke Morrow
Absolutely. Yeah. By the way, last thing on this, I actually ran into Larry Bird while we were talking about pettiness. I ran into Larry Bird in Boston years ago. This was like 20 years ago. And he was a jerk. So was he.
- [07:08]
Seth Payne
What he do?
- [07:09]
Luke Morrow
He just blew us off. And it was in Boston. It's the city that made him.
- [07:13]
Seth Payne
You ran into him just on the street? No.
- [07:15]
Luke Morrow
So it's a whole story. So we were actually there for the Celtics Indiana Pacers playoff game. And at the time, Bird was running the pace. He was with the Pacers. He was in the front office of the Pacers. So he was the quote unquote enemy. But still it was Boston. And we just happened to be walking down the street during the day, and we stumbled upon the Pacers team hotel. And so we saw the players just hanging out in the lobby. And we went. They had security, but we, like, snuck in. And my mother claimed she had to use the bathroom. She just, like, stood in the bathroom for like 20 minutes. And I got to.
- [07:45]
Seth Payne
I think Mrs. Morrow.
- [07:46]
Luke Morrow
That's right. And we met Jermaine O', Neill, Jamal Tinsley. I hung out with Scott Pollard for a while. Great guy. Reggie Miller was on that team. All the guys, they were just in the lobby and Larry Bird was there. And I get it. He's. It's a quote unquote business trip, whatever. But he just. He gave us the cold shoulder. He was a. He was a. He walked off. He was a jerk.
- [08:05]
Seth Payne
You might have never known. He might have been running away from his daughter or something. You know, it's. Who knows what was going on at that point.
- [08:11]
Luke Morrow
Yeah, that's right. Anytime somebody. You never know what they have going on. And I'm probably the obnoxious one. But anytime somebody doesn't reciprocate my excitement, I just call him a jerk. Like Larry Bird.
- [08:20]
Seth Payne
Was he wearing sneakers with a suit? He might have been. That's what really pissed you off.
- [08:24]
Luke Morrow
I could see that being a Larry Bird thing before it's become cool. He was wearing, like, Skechers with a suit back then. Classic Bird. This next one, God bless the Text line. But here's. Here's the president reading to kids and couldn't help himself but to take shots at another former president.
- [08:42]
Guest Speaker
Others, like President William Taft, throw out the first pitch. Baseball. He was a large man, very large, and he loved baseball. He'd go to baseball games. Loved the hot dogs at the baseball games. He was our heaviest president. And I have to be careful because I don't want to supersede his record in a thing like. That would be possible if I allowed it to happen. For all of you out there watching, keep yourself in good shape. Right. Like you. You're in such good shape.
- [09:12]
Seth Payne
Okay. That would have been awesome if it was a chubby kid like you. You gotta watch it. You know what? I didn't. I, I hadn't heard or seen that. And I gotta give him credit for conceding that. Like, hey, yeah, like, hey, whoa, I gotta, you know, I'm not gonna, I'm not going to throw this out. I got to. Let's, let's, let's address the elephant in the room here that I got. I could have some tendencies too.
- [09:42]
Luke Morrow
Yeah. At least acknowledge that.
- [09:44]
Seth Payne
But knew he was fat. You know, the political cartoonist back in the day. This wouldn't be some news or anything that he was pointing out that is that he had some weight troubles.
- [09:53]
Luke Morrow
I think he was reading a baseball book, though. It was just the idea, like, I think he went out of his way to talk about how fat Taft is and then even mentioned like, not just that he was a baseball fan, but he loved eating hot dogs and popcorn at the baseball game. He was just catching strays. It was great.
- [10:10]
Seth Payne
Taft weighed around 330 to 350 according to my Google search.
- [10:15]
Luke Morrow
And that was like the early 1900s. Right. Guys weren't as big back then.
- [10:19]
Seth Payne
I think the, the bat. You had asked about the bathtub story. I think it was. There was a massive. They had to bring in a custom bathtub to. To handle his massive frame, which, I mean, let's be fair, you know, back in the day. Yeah. 330 or 350 was something that was. It was pretty rare. You had to be. You had to be a rich man to get that fat. Where nowadays that's, that's probably a standard bathtub. They probably. I. It's probably the bathtub that remains in the White House today because they're like, oh, yeah, this is the standard American bathtub. Now.
- [10:51]
Luke Morrow
He was an innovator called the Taft. Yeah. He was ahead of his time. Uh, it does stink. And I Googled it. The, the story is a myth that he got stuck in the bathtub. That part's the myth. But it does stink that that's. He was a president and that's his legacy. Whenever I hear Howard, I don't know what he did in office, but I do know this now made up story, I guess, that he got stuck in a bathtub. It stinks that that's, that's your legacy 100 years after you passed away, that people are laughing about how you got stuck in a bathtub because you were so, so fat.
- [11:20]
Seth Payne
The heaviest president, according to Statista, was William Howard Taft, followed by Grover Cleveland.
- [11:27]
Luke Morrow
Oh, yeah, he was a big.
- [11:28]
Seth Payne
Which Grover Cleveland is the best. I always think of him when I think of overweight presidents. Just because he, like Grover. That sounds like a big fella, doesn't it?
- [11:37]
Luke Morrow
Right?
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Seth Payne
Cleveland, Not a very glamorous last name. And then tied. Tied at 237. Donald Trump and Theodore Roosevelt. I was surprised because Theodore Roosevelt wasn't as tall as Trump. That's impressive. I'm surprised that Roosevelt was that heavy by his later years, I guess.
- [11:55]
Luke Morrow
Yeah, yeah. And Grover Cleveland also has the Andy Reid, like, walrus mustache. So it just, it just fits. That fits the big guys. It makes them look even bigger or heftier. And that was the late 1800s.
- [12:07]
Seth Payne
Bill Clinton's sixth on the list, just behind Zachary Taylor.
- [12:11]
Luke Morrow
Bill Clinton, I didn't realize he was the 20th.
- [12:14]
Seth Payne
It feels like that. You know what? I got to give it credit. I thought this would be more heavily weighted into the 20th century, in the 21st century. But I guess part of it too is that even though Americans have gotten bigger, the, the how your appearance has mattered more, I guess, as we've gotten into the television age. So maybe back in the day, it didn't hurt you as much to be a William McKinley or something or James Garfield, like a, like a portly fellow by the day.
- [12:44]
Luke Morrow
That's true. Hey, on the Twitter line, the text line, I should say, says they weren't called fat cats for no reason. So maybe it was like you said, like, only the rich people were fat. It was almost a positive.
- [12:54]
Seth Payne
No, we're living in a crazy time in human history. Like, this is the first time where, where obesity has been an issue for the poor. You know, like, mass starvation tends to be the problem more so throughout history. And now we're in an era where, like, it's actually the exact opposite, which, I mean, I don't know if we should be somehow grateful for that. I don't. It doesn't feel like the appropriate feel, but maybe a little attaboy to ourselves, you know? Like, all these other countries make fun of how fat we are. Like, yeah, we got excess calories floating around all over the place. What do you expect us to do?
- [13:29]
Luke Morrow
Yeah, everyone from the World Cup. Well, everyone's finding out why and how.
- [13:33]
Seth Payne
They're getting pretty fat in other countries, too. It's a lot of these countries. You seen an Englishman lately? Some portly fellows over there, they're still wearing their tiny little T shirts and everything. Bill Burr does a good bit on this when he's over in England. He's like, wait, you guys are. You guys are fat like us? Like, I'm not going to sit around and get shamed for being fat when you guys are just as chubby little James Corden looking bloated pigs.
- [13:57]
Luke Morrow
Well, that's because they're most known for, like, fried fish and french fries.
- [14:02]
Seth Payne
It only happens every four years. And this time it's here. The biggest tournament in the world. Stadium shaking, flags waving. This is history and you want to be there. But real life can make it tough. Work busy schedules and the price. That's where Priceline comes in. Priceline has millions of deals on flights, hotels and rental cars, so you can go see it live. So find a great deal and make the trip happen.
- [14:25]
Luke Morrow
Rally the crew.
- [14:25]
Seth Payne
Go see the game live. Turn your dream trip into reality. Book now with Priceline.
- [14:32]
Podcast Announcer
Oregon parks make an Oregon summer. But what makes an Oregon park? Well, Oregon Lottery. Gameplay helps no matter the game. Megabucks, video lottery or keno funds from lottery games help support parks projects across the state, ensuring they stay safe, accessible and open for all. In fact, Discover State park scratches are in stores now. It's the perfect way to put a little bit of Oregon's parks in your pocket. The Oregon Lottery. Together we do good things. Must be 18 or older to play lottery. Games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only.
- [15:02]
Seth Payne
Hi, diva.
- [15:03]
Podcast Announcer
It's Rachel and Jordan.
- [15:04]
Guest Speaker
Yeah, hi.
- [15:05]
Luke Morrow
Quick question.
- [15:05]
Podcast Announcer
Why are you not spending your Venmo balance?
- [15:07]
Seth Payne
Yeah, we're concerned you can, like, buy stuff with it.
- [15:09]
Guest Speaker
Ugh.
- [15:10]
Seth Payne
You love buying stuff and earn cash
- [15:12]
Podcast Announcer
back on eligible purchases. Mm.
- [15:14]
Seth Payne
You love purchasing eligible things.
- [15:16]
Podcast Announcer
So the money your friends you yesterday, that's today's ramen or rideshare or eye patches.
- [15:21]
Seth Payne
The skincare kind, not the pyro kind. Spend with Venmo and you can earn cash back with Venmo stash.
- [15:26]
Podcast Announcer
Venmo Stash bundle terms and Exclusions apply.
- [15:27]
Seth Payne
Makes 100 cashback per month.
- [15:29]
Podcast Announcer
See terms@venmo me Terms ID verification required to use a Venmo Balance Hey.
- [15:33]
Luke Morrow
As we continue on the Petty cast, Bill Simmons was reading some fan mail on his podcast. He got this email from a Charlotte Hornets fan describing what it's like to be a Hornets fan. Here's Bill Simmons reading the email.
- [15:46]
Guest Speaker
Josh and Rally Imagine you're dating an absolute smoke show in college who has tons of fun but completely insane. She's amazing in bed and at parties, but she also goes through her phone when you're not looking. Also she's a horrible driver. You know it's not going to last and that she isn't the kind of girl to introduce to your parents. You break up. Deep down you know she wasn't long term solution. But when she's gone, you just feel alone and that sucks. That's how it feels to be a Hornets fan right now. Josh really went deep. I was almost tied in obsession. I was trying to figure out where that was going. And then, then you figured it out.
- [16:19]
Luke Morrow
It landed in. It landed in a good NBA place.
- [16:21]
Guest Speaker
Actually. I good email.
- [16:24]
Luke Morrow
Zach Lowe was that second voice that, I don't know, wasn't really having fun with it. But that's an email from a Hornets fan describing what it's like to be a Hornets fan right now.
- [16:33]
Seth Payne
Is that what's the closest team in recent Houston memory that's felt like that? Would it be the 2000, the 2020 Texans just because they did have so much talent on paper and you had Deshaun Watson and. Yeah, and that was before we knew anything about the allegations that would come. It was just such a mess in so many ways. And they had made all these crazy, they'd made a bunch of crazy off season moves they had done. They'd kind of operated like a, like a psycho and it was, it was all unraveling right in front of us.
- [17:07]
Luke Morrow
Yeah, I think that's the best one because yeah, it crumbled. And similar to the Hornets where they were a playoff team and won like one of the playing games last year and they or this past season, there was excitement and then this offseason they just go and trade away like their two best players and it's like, well, what the heck, I thought we were a playoff team. So yeah, the fact that like you had that excitement and then it just all quickly comes apart. I think your Texans example probably is the best.
- [17:29]
Seth Payne
I'm going to go to the roster rankings because right now that's what we get is a whole bunch of stuff about, you know, rock roster rankings and everything headed into the season. Texans are okay. So going into that year, The Texans were 23rd ranked roster. So not as much of a. Yeah, I was, I was thinking they might be mid ranked more so, but they had, they had issues all over the place.
- [17:50]
Luke Morrow
Wow. Would you say 23rd?
- [17:51]
Seth Payne
I'm surprised. Going into that season.
- [17:53]
Luke Morrow
I'm surprised by that. Here's on.
- [17:56]
Seth Payne
Well, they had, you know, they had collapsed defensively in the playoffs the year before and they did nothing about it other than let DJ Reader go and sign Eric Murray and pay him like a starting cornerback in the league. That was there. That was their solution on defense going into 2020.
- [18:13]
Luke Morrow
Yeah, for sure. This other piece of audio here on the Petty cast, this is former. When they were called the redskins, former Redskins GM Scott McLuhan. Yeah, that's how he says it. Thank you. Uh, this was McLuhan making a radio appearance in the D.C. area over the weekend. And the reason why I put this on here, he's talking about Ty Simpson. But a couple other guys also get hit with strays, which is why we included it. Here's the former gm.
- [18:42]
Seth Payne
Is there a player in that first round that you thought was overdrafted? I think the quarterback from Alabama was overdrafted.
- [18:51]
Guest Speaker
Okay.
- [18:52]
Seth Payne
Ty Simpson. But it's a position alone, I think, not being a guru. But he's like J.J. mcCarthy. He's like Mac Jones. He's a career backup. Ideally, Ideally he might start, but that's because of where his pick was and they want to prove everybody right type of thing. And that's not the way you should build a roster. Not at all. So J.J. mcCarthy, like, is 100% that guy where it just feels like, man, especially because of the Sam Darnold scenario. Like when you had, you had Sam Darnold in the building and it's so weird to talk about this like this, but that, all right, he's a viable NFL quarterback no matter what he does in his career afterwards. Like, you can't take away what, what he did last year and that you just so casually tossed him aside to the point now where you're, you're trying to do, you're trying to do with Kyler Murray what maybe you could have done with Sam Darnold. That, that's, that's, that's a, that's a big misstep. Scott McLuhan. Scott McLuhan was the one that was alleged by his ex wife or his wife at the time to have been having an affair with Yusini right?
- [20:05]
Luke Morrow
Yeah. It was his wife at the time. I don't know if they're still together or not.
- [20:08]
Seth Payne
Yeah.
- [20:08]
Luke Morrow
But, yeah, she's the one that. That put it out there. That was really, I think, the initial. The first rumblings of Rossini, you know, doing some of this nefarious stuff. But, yeah, he was the one. So that's what. I guess it's just a coincidence. But it is funny that last week we had the Rossini video where she's taking a shot at JJ McCarthy while talking to the police. And then we get this audio where now Scott's taking a shot at J.J. mcCarthy. And as you mentioned, there's that connection from the past between Scott and Rossini. Not saying, just saying. But also, I feel bad for J.J. mcCarthy. He's just trying to, like, enjoy his offseason, and everywhere he looks, people are just making fun of him or giving him a hard time telling him he sucks. He's like, man, I'm just. It's the off season. I'm just trying to get better and enjoy my off time.
- [20:52]
Seth Payne
Just gonna add fuel to the fire for nine to do what nine does, man. That's what. That's what nine does. He takes all the haters energy and turns it into really mediocre football.
- [21:04]
Luke Morrow
Yeah, I guess so. There's no audio, but we talked about it yesterday. Maybe on the Petty cast, we can include Mike Vrabel's wife dragging him to the Taylor Swift wedding on Friday. I don't know if that counts, because we also got the video that came out from over the weekend of Diana Rossini and her family on a cruise.
- [21:23]
Seth Payne
You know what? We did have that. You know, the one thing that Vrabel does have, though now it's kind of nice, is that he's got the. For the rest of his life, he won't have to explain why he brought his wife with him. You know, like guys camping trip or whatever. The guys I'm bringing my wife, and they're like, yeah, get it. Yep. Okay, cool. There's always a guy. There's always a guy who's always got his wife with him. And that you kind of realize there's a reason for it. It's not necessarily that she's not. She's not controlling, like, naturally. It's just that it got to a point in the relationship, whereas, okay, you're not allowed. You're not allowed out of your wife's sight. And I kind of get it. All right, we understand the situation.
- [22:06]
Luke Morrow
Yeah. It's the case with Rabel now they're they're a joint deal from here on out. That's the petty cast here on this Tuesday. Coming up, how serious or how improved really is the Texans running back situation? We'll talk about that next.
- [22:20]
Podcast Announcer
Payne and Pendergast Oregon parks make an Oregon summer, but what makes an Oregon park? Well, Oregon Lottery gameplay helps no matter the game Megabucks, video lottery or keno funds from lottery games help support parks projects across the state, ensuring they see stay safe, accessible and open for all. In fact, discover State park scratches are in stores now. It's the perfect way to put a little bit of Oregon's parks in your pocket. The Oregon Lottery Together we do good things. Must be 18 or older to play Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only.
- [22:51]
Seth Payne
A cool and crisp Modelo tastes good but that fought for every rebound Modelo or that just clocked out Modelo That Modelo you earned is just better. That Modelo is the mark of a fighter. Drink responsibly here. Imported by Crown Import, Chicago, IL Life
- [23:06]
Podcast Announcer
can feel overwhelming, but on my podcast, from the Heart with Rachel Braethan, we're in it together. Every Friday brings you a new story. Listen to from the Heart with Rachel Braethon. Wherever you get your podcasts at Amica Insurance, we know it's not just what's inside your home that matters, it's who you share it with. That's why we work even harder to protect it. And as a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers. We prioritize your needs and are here for you when you need us. Amica empathy is our best policy. Visit amica.com and get a quote today.