Swift-Kelce Wedding was Crazy + Celeb Officiants + Acknowledge Me

Summary

---

Payne & Pendergast Episode Summary

Episode Title: Swift-Kelce Wedding was Crazy + Celeb Officiants + Acknowledge Me
Date: July 6, 2026
Hosts: Seth Payne (former NFL player), Luke Morrow (in for Sean Pendergast)
Podcast: Payne & Pendergast (Audacy / SportsRadio 610 Houston)

---

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode centers on the remarkable—and slightly absurd—wedding of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce at Madison Square Garden. The hosts delve into the star-studded guest list, the unconventional venue, and the rumors surrounding the event (including celebrity officiants). They riff on which celebrities they’d want at their own weddings, and segue into Houston sports with "Acknowledge Me", spotlighting outstanding local and league-wide feats—focused especially on Astros’ Yordan Alvarez. As always, the episode is packed with their signature mix of irreverent sports banter, pop culture digressions, and relatable, offbeat humor.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Swift-Kelce MSG Wedding: Over-the-Top or Smartly Exclusive?

(00:45–24:46)

• Initial Reactions & Confusion

  • The hosts express bewilderment and fascination over the decision to hold the Swift-Kelce wedding at Madison Square Garden:

    "I'm so confused about all these things… why would you have your wedding at Madison Square Garden for just, you know, a few hundred people?"
    — Seth Payne (01:16)

  • Both muse whether it was just a wedding or fans/concert elements were expected, concluding it was an ultra-secure, celebrity-packed event instead.

• Venue Security & Celebrity Logistics

  • Luke points out the advantages MSG has for privacy, with drive-in VIP entrances preventing paparazzi and unwanted attention:

    "You can drive into the arena and drive up to park and get in."
    — Luke Morrow (02:33)

• Absurd Guest List

  • The wedding reportedly featured 1,000+ celebrities, including many with no actual connection to the couple.

    "They just invited celebrities. A bunch of people admitted, like, yeah, I've never said hi. I've never spoken to either one, but I got an invite."
    — Luke Morrow (04:03)

• Reasons for Attending

  • Many celebrities likely attended for the publicity, not personal ties:

    "They probably only went because their publicist said it would be a good idea."
    — Seth Payne (04:12)

• Notable Attendees

  • Examples of unexpected guests: Mike Vrabel (NFL coach), Kevin Burkhardt (Fox), Dean Blandino (NFL official), Jason Kelce’s NFL/media contacts.

• Authenticity and Relationships

  • The randomness of the list sparked jokes about networking:

    "Running joke was... 'How do you know them?'"
    — Luke Morrow (04:51)

• Best Celebrity Sighting

  • Seth’s favorite: Bo Allen (ex-NFL nose tackle) being misidentified as a quarterback by paparazzi.

    "I was happy for him. I was happy that Bo Allen was getting the star treatment erroneously."
    — Seth Payne (06:46)

---

2. The Celebrity Officiant Debate: Who Would You Choose?

(09:33–13:02; 17:17–23:04)

• Adam Sandler Officiates

  • Rumor has it Adam Sandler was the wedding’s officiant; the hosts wonder if he performed using his trademark comic voices.

    "He probably did the wedding in one of those little, like, baby voices that he used to."
    — Luke Morrow (09:36)

• Dream Officiants

  • Seth’s picks:

    • Louis CK (for an irreverent, marriage-skeptical ceremony)
    • Morgan Freeman (best man, just for the speech)
    • Wee Man (ring bearer, for fun)
    • Kristen Wiig (wife’s maid of honor, for comedic value)

  • Luke’s picks:

    • Dave Chappelle (for blending philosophy and comedy in a deep, commanding way)

      "Chappelle... could probably blend the comedy and the actual official duties pretty well."
      — Seth Payne (12:17)

    • Larry David and Will Ferrell (as suggested by listeners via text line)

• Listener & Host Banter on Officiants

  • Discussion expands with listener suggestions: Christopher Walken, Jack Black, Norm MacDonald ("tough because you either got him or you didn’t"), and even Jameis Winston (post-NFL popularity surge).

• Philosophy of Ceremony Tone

  • Luke, an experienced wedding officiant himself, emphasizes finding the right balance:

    "You have to have a mix of, like, humor and funny, but you also still have to keep the seriousness of the moment because it's their big day."
    — Luke Morrow (23:04)

---

3. Celebrity Weddings: The Absurdity and the Spectacle

(20:30–24:46)

• Absurdity Explained

  • The hosts clarify (thanks to a listener text) why this wedding was truly "absurd:"

    "Not often do people get married with over a thousand guests there in what is called the world's most famous arena. That's why I think the wedding is absurd."
    — Luke Morrow (20:53)

• Paul McCartney’s Special Performance

  • Notably, Paul McCartney performed "I Want To Hold Your Hand" live for the first time since 1964 at the event.

    "But he played I want to hold your hand for the first time live since 1964 for this wedding... that annoyed me too."
    — Luke Morrow (24:10)

  • Seth argues that’s just capitalism:

    "They paid him a boatload of money. That's just good old fashioned capitalism right there."
    — Seth Payne (24:16)

• Overarching Reflection

  • The magnitude, randomness, and star power at the event lead the hosts to both gawk and lovingly poke fun:

    "It sounds like there are a lot of celebrities that neither of the people had a connection to. That's the part that's weird."
    — Seth Payne (21:13)

---

4. Recognizing Houston Sports: "Acknowledge Me" Segment

(25:54–36:07)

• Astros and Yordan Alvarez

  • Praise for Houston’s Yordan Alvarez:

    "He came through like an absolute MVP on Saturday with a walk off in the ninth inning... His OPS at 1.078 was 100 points ahead of anybody else in the majors."
    — Seth Payne (26:12)

    • Yordan is now the heavy favorite for AL MVP

• Astros’ July 4th Streak

  • Astros have won nine straight on Independence Day, the longest streak since 1941.

    "The Cowboys... have never even won a game on the Fourth of July in their entire existence... George Washington looking down on us and saying... this is the team."
    — Seth Payne (29:12)

• Major League Baseball Marketing Critique

  • MLB gets roasted for botching All-Star team announcements:

    "No sport does a worse job marketing themselves than Major League Baseball. They announced the all star teams at 7:30 on July 4th. Who's watching that?"
    — Luke Morrow (28:01)

• Other Sports Shoutouts

  • Junior Caminero’s home run streak acknowledged
  • Collective Soul’s downtown Fourth of July concert gets nostalgic praise as “the most underrated band of the 90s.”

---

5. Offbeat & Pop Culture Sidebars

(Throughout)

• Cringe Comedy:
  • Groin-shot humor, “Jackass”, “Faces of Death” (with both reminiscing about VHS shock video culture)
• Celebrity Recognition Problems:
  • Both hosts admit to being “face blind” with athletes and celebrities now, making Super Bowl and Pro Bowl encounters awkward.
• Wedding Anecdotes:
  • Seth describes a near-incident at a rural creekside wedding, showing his appreciation for “the perfect amount of weirdness” in ceremonies.

---

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On MSG Wedding Privacy:
  "You can drive into the arena and drive up to park and get in... there's no way to control them [paparazzi] and everything." (Luke Morrow, 02:33–02:44)

• On the Guest List Absurdity:
  "A bunch of people admitted, like, yeah, I've never said hi. I've never spoken to either one, but I got an invite." (Luke Morrow, 04:03)

• On Adam Sandler as Officiant:
  "He probably did the wedding in one of those little, like, baby voices that he used to." (Luke Morrow, 09:36)

• On Dream Officiants:
  "I would have had Louis. Louis CK do it. I know Louis CK would have crapped on the notion of marriage for 10 minutes and then said like, 'alright, kiss her, I guess, or something like that.'" (Seth Payne, 10:39)

• On Yordan Alvarez MVP Candidacy:
  "He came through like an absolute MVP on Saturday with a walk off in the ninth inning..." (Seth Payne, 26:12)

• On MLB’s PR Flaws:
  "No sport does a worse job marketing themselves than Major League Baseball." (Luke Morrow, 28:01)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:45 — Discussion begins on Swift-Kelce wedding
• 02:24 — Security and logistics at MSG
• 04:03 — Absurdity of the guest list
• 09:33 — Adam Sandler rumors and celebrity officiant debate
• 20:30 — Reflection on the wedding's absurdity
• 24:10 — Paul McCartney’s exclusive performance
• 25:54 — "Acknowledge Me" segment (Astros & MLB talk)
• 26:12 — Yordan Alvarez walk-off
• 29:12 — Astros’ July 4th streak analysis
• 31:09 — Discussion on Caminero and trade consequences
• 33:45 — Collective Soul and 90s nostalgia
• 36:07 — Wrap-up to "Acknowledge Me" segment

---

Tone & Style Notes

The conversation is easy-going, sharp, and laced with good-natured sarcasm typical of Payne & Pendergast. Hosts riff off each other, juggle local sports expertise with national pop culture awareness, and frequently interject with self-deprecating humor and anecdotes from personal experience. The episode captures a sense of camaraderie and Houston sports community, while also poking fun at the larger-than-life world of celebrity spectacle.

---

For New Listeners

This episode is an ideal listen if you’re curious about:

• The peculiar realities of modern celebrity culture and mega-weddings
• Who the hosts (and listeners) think would make the best celebrity wedding officiants
• The current state of Houston sports and Astros fandom
• How pop culture intersects (and collides) with sports analysis—delivered with a wink

Skip if you want deep Xs-and-Os football breakdowns; this is a pop-culture and sports-celebrity crossover delight.

---

Transcript

[Serena Williams]

I'm Serena Williams and I'm healthier on row. I've lost 34 pounds in a year with GLP1's diet and exercise on row. You can access GLP1 options including the first FDA approved GLP1 pill for weight loss. Go to Rourney to see if you qualify. 14 to 20% average weight loss in one year in non diabetics with obesity or overweight with a weight related medical condition versus 2.2% to 3.1% in placebo arm Rx only. To stay informed about serious side effects, go to Ro Co Safety Life can

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

feel overwhelming, but on my podcast from the Heart with Rachel Braethan, we're in it together. Every Friday a new episode brings you a new story with topics on motherhood, wellness, self love and more. Listen to from the Heart with Rachel Braethon wherever you get your podcasts.

[Luke Morrow]

Happy Monday, Payne and Pendergast. I'm Luke Morrow in for Sean alongside Seth Payne. Of course, we'll get to acknowledge me coming up as always, here in just a little bit about 15 minutes from now. Plenty of things to get to, but we do have to acknowledge Seth Look, I'll be honest. I know a lot of people are tired of like Taylor Swift coming into the sports world, but we have to acknowledge what transpired over the weekend with this absurd wedding between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey at Madison Square Garden Friday night.

[Seth Payne]

I'm so confused. I'll acknowledge it. I'm so confused about all these things. So it started surfacing last week that the wedding was going to be at Madison Square Garden, and immediately I'm thinking, wow, okay, how'd they they kept that under wraps for quite a while and I'm guessing there must be some kind of concert or something surrounding the nuptials. And as far as I can tell, there wasn't. There was a whole bunch of celebrities that showed up to this thing. I'm guessing most of the celebrities were there because of some association with Taylor Swift, but it doesn't. I. I don't like why would you have your wedding at Madison Square Garden for just, you know, a few hundred people or something? I don't like what? That's what I'm confused about. I know it doesn't seem like I kept waiting for there to be news that, oh yeah, all the people from her fan club had been instructed to assemble in New Jersey and then they drove in on buses or something and there was going to be a concert. But there was nothing like that, I feel like. So if anything, I Want to be critical of them squandering our national. Our precious resources, which includes, you know, time. Time at Madison Square Garden.

[Luke Morrow]

Y. I guess we were talking about this over the weekend in our. In our home, I guess, because a few things, like there is a roof to it, so you can't get any, like, aerial photos.

[Seth Payne]

Okay. It.

[Luke Morrow]

Obviously, because it is New York. It's the Knicks. Like, they have VIP entrances where you could get people in and out without anybody knowing. You can drive into the arena and drive up to park and get in.

[Seth Payne]

So if they found out that it was at some country club somewhere or something, then all of a sudden there's paparazzi stocked outside and there's no way to control them and everything.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

Okay.

[Luke Morrow]

Well, I'll tell you what. When there was originally, everyone thought it was in Rhode island because she has a house in Rhode is Island. And she apparently paid somebody to move their wedding date because she, you know, she's all about numbers and she wanted a specific date. And my parents have friends who live across, like, the water where they can use their telescope and see into this venue. And so they were planning on throwing a party where people could come over and like, use the telescope to watch the wedding.

[Seth Payne]

They should have gotten those little, like those. Those ones that you put a quarter in, you know, they have in some places where you can.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, they would have made a killing. So I do get the idea of, like, this needs to be inside. Nobody can infiltrate. No one can get in. Even if it was just going to be a small thing, let alone the fact they had like a thousand celebrities show up to this event for this wedding Friday night at msg.

[Seth Payne]

So that makes sense, I guess. Yeah. Cause they got all the resources and, like, the protocols for handling all this type of stuff.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

Especially like, with what the Knicks have to do with maybe with some of the celebrities for Knicks games and all that.

[Luke Morrow]

Right, Exactly.

[Seth Payne]

They.

[Luke Morrow]

That's the weird thing, though. So supposedly there was over a thousand people. And when I googled it this morning, like they said, it became a thing in the wedding where people were. The running joke was like, hey, how do you know them?

[Seth Payne]

Yeah.

[Luke Morrow]

And because they were just like. They just invited celebrities. A bunch of people admitted, like, yeah, I've never said hi. I've never spoken to either one, but I got an invite.

[Seth Payne]

Oh, that's off putting.

[Luke Morrow]

Right?

[Seth Payne]

It's weird. That's. That's. And you know what? A lot of those celebrities that they probably went, despite not having any connection to either of them, it's probably they only went because their publicist said it would be a good idea.

[Luke Morrow]

True.

[Seth Payne]

Okay. You got a. I feel for some of these Hollywood celebrities that they dare. They get invited to stuff all the time. That, you know, if you didn't have a busy schedule and everything, it'd probably be a lot of fun. But they probably. There are probably a lot of people there that just specifically because their publicist said you should go, there'll be some photo ops. She's a big deal, et cetera, et cetera.

[Luke Morrow]

I saw Mike Vrabel and his wife went. And there was a video. New York Post had a video of them getting. Getting into the car to go to the wedding, coming out of their hotel. They were both dressed very nice, but

[Seth Payne]

they were not hopping into the car. Well ahead of his wife.

[Luke Morrow]

Yes.

[Seth Payne]

Walking alongside his wife on the way out, and then just hops in, doesn't wait and hold the door for anything.

[Luke Morrow]

And neither one seemed. If we're just judging body language, neither one seemed like they were in a good mood. I mean, Frable never really looks all that happy to begin with, but neither one looks very pleased as the people were taking photos and videos of them.

[Seth Payne]

If you had to guess which of the two thought that that was a good idea for them to go to, I'm guessing it was his wife. I bet his wife was probably like, listen, listen, all right, we're gonna do whatever the hell I want for a while now, and. And I want to go to Taylor Swift's wedding. That's. That's. That's all there is to it. Braves. And this is what. This is happening. He's like, okay,

[Luke Morrow]

yeah. And they dragged him out there.

[Seth Payne]

He can't do anything for a long time of his own choosing.

[Luke Morrow]

Right. You wouldn't think. Yeah. So there was. But there was a bunch of random people, like, I saw, all due respect, of course, like, Kevin Burkhart was there, the broadcaster from Fox. There were some sideline reporters from Fox, I guess, just from, like, production meetings with Kelsey. They invited everyone. Dean Blandino was there, which, you know, I get the official.

[Seth Payne]

Yeah, I get. Well, you know what? Jason Kelsey knows a lot of these people now from his work in broadcasting, so that might be a big part of it, too. There's probably a lot of NFL people there that might have a connection to Jason Kelsey. That. Not Vrabel's connection is what they both played for the Chiefs.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. They weren't.

[Seth Payne]

Oh, they're both from Cleveland, I guess, or they're from Ohio. There's probably some kind of Cleveland connection there. Yeah.

[Luke Morrow]

But do you invite like all the NFL, like all the NFL coaches or. Yeah, it is. I see. It does seem weird that Vrabel would be there and you have these broadcasters, like Greg Olson was there. I saw all the broadcasters were there. It seemed you would think he'd invite all the coaches. It just. It's weird.

[Seth Payne]

My favorite was Bo Allen, who probably knows the Kelsey's because he played in Philadelphia. Bo Allen is a nose tackle for the Eagles and, you know, he played with Jason Kelsey and probably knows him, you know, Travis well enough. But Bo Allen was. He's out there and he's just a big former nose tackle. Looks like a former nose tackle. But a couple paparazzi mislabeled him as a quarterback. So you're showing up on all these. He was showing up on all these huge accounts as NFL quarterback Bo Allen. And I was happy for him. I was happy that Bo Allen was getting the star treatment erroneously.

[Luke Morrow]

So I guess with that said, do you. Do you think or do you know. Do you know anyone that you think was in that building or do you. Would you have a guess? Do you think you knew multiple people, like, personally? Do you think you knew anyone that was there at the wedding?

[Seth Payne]

That's a good question. I don't think so. Vrabel's the only guy my age or older. I think that we. That we saw out there. Right. That was there. There might have been a. There might. There's. There's probably, definitely in the NFL, there's always like, you know, two or three. You only need to go two or three links before you find somebody.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

But I didn't see anybody that I recognized as a personal relationship.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

Yeah.

[Luke Morrow]

I wonder if like Tom Coughlin was there.

[Seth Payne]

Oh, no, definitely.

[Luke Morrow]

Dom Capers. Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

Yeah. No, not there. Yeah. Nick. All your coaches.

[Luke Morrow]

Robert Solomon.

[Seth Payne]

Well, you know what? No, no, no, no. You know who might have been there is Jeff Stoutland.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

Ah.

[Seth Payne]

Former. He was so Jeff Stalin's the offensive line coach who was in Philadelphia forever through multiple different head coaches. The first time he was ever an offensive line coach was at Cornell University when I was there. And he didn't know what he was doing, but he was. But his players loved him because he just worked his butt off and he loved his players so much. That was his. That was my first. It didn't surprise me necessarily that Jeff Stoutland became the O line coach that he did because he was. He's one of those guys that. I knew him when he was a young coach and he was Just wired different. You could just tell the way he felt about his players and the amount of work that he put in that he was just a. He was like. Robert Sala was like this when he was a GA with the Texans or a quality control guy with the Texans. You just kind of identify guys. You can tell by their.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

Oh, yeah.

[Seth Payne]

Their whole. The whole way they operate and their energy and everything. Okay, this guy's a little bit different. This guy's probably going places, right?

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, I'm sure he was there.

[Seth Payne]

So.

[Luke Morrow]

So there you go. We're gonna have to try to get the inside scoop. I actually, as I said, I'm a name dropper. I actually, I do text with Dean Blandino. I'm sure they sign, like, you know, non disclosures, but I'll text Dean, see if we can get any dirt on the wedding, because I don't think they can bring their cameras. I'm just, Just. Just from being in radio. He's. I've had him on my show a bunch over the years, and he's always been a great guy. And, yeah, I don't know.

[Serena Williams]

We.

[Luke Morrow]

We've gotten on a text. Somewhat of a texting relationship.

[Seth Payne]

So was Adam Sandler. He was the officiant. Yes.

[Luke Morrow]

Supposedly, those are the rumors. So that's why I asked. And we've gotten some answers on the text line. But who would you want. Which celebrity would you want to officiate your wedding? Because, by the way, Sandler, I'm sure he did a great job. He. I love Sandler. He's obviously funny. He's. He seems to be smart, but he also always does these, like, goofy, silly voices. So the joke on Twitter was that, like, he probably did the wedding in one of those little, like, baby voices that he used to.

[Seth Payne]

And Travis Kelsey or. Yeah, I think Kelsey probably specifically requested something like that. Like, do it as the water boy or as Billy Madison or something. Yeah, yeah. Sandler. I would like, if he had to get up there and kind of do it straight. Like, if he was just taking it really seriously and it wasn't anything comedic to it, I think he might be one of. One of the worst choices because he's kind of a bashful guy. You know, like when. When he's just being himself. That's not like, he's. You. You wouldn't guess. He's a Hollywood movie star. He's just, you know, he, like, he just seems like a normal guy. I would have had Louis. Louis ck do it.

[Luke Morrow]

That's.

[Seth Payne]

I know Louis ck would have crapped on the notion of marriage for 10 minutes and. And then said like, all right, kiss her, I guess, or something like that.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

The GLP1 pill you've been waiting for is now on row. Yep, it's finally here. With the same clinically proven ingredient now in a pill on Roe. It's the first FDA approved GLP1 pill for weight loss at the lowest price available. That's one daily GLP1 pill for big results now on Roe, go to Roe co. Listen to see if you qualify. Rx only go to ro safety for serious side effects and boxed warning associated with GLP1s.

[Susie Welch]

Have you ever felt like you were living just a B or B plus life? It's so dangerous to live that. More dangerous than a B minus or a C plus life. Because when you're living a B or B plus life, you don't change it. You think it's good enough. Is it? I'm Susie Welch. I host a podcast called Becoming you. People think, okay, an A life is not available to me, but there is a way. We are all in the process of becoming ourselves. Listen to becoming you wherever you get your podcasts.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, I love Louis. Obviously he had that whole scandal. He was, I thought, the best standup before all that. I was thinking something similar. I would probably go like Dave Chappelle. Cause I think Chappelle, he's not even doing so much comedy anymore as he is just like commentating so philosophizing with

[Seth Payne]

comedy added to it.

[Luke Morrow]

Right. I.

[Seth Payne]

You know what?

[Susie Welch]

He.

[Seth Payne]

Chappelle too, is he. Is. He either got older or went on male hormone replacement. His voice got like so much more deeper and impressive.

[Luke Morrow]

I think it's all the smoking.

[Seth Payne]

He has kind of a commanding voice now that he didn't have when he was a younger comic. In a situation like that, he could probably blend the comedy and the actual official duties pretty well. That's a good one.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. Yeah, I think he'd be good. Now you. You had a whole list. You had what a best best man would be.

[Seth Payne]

Morgan Freeman, just specifically for the speech.

[Luke Morrow]

That's good.

[Seth Payne]

And I would. I would have somebody write a speech for him and he would just deliver it. An awesome speech about all the good times we've had together. And then for the ring bearer, I would have Wee Man. The guy from Jackass.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

Because we had him in studio once and he was awesome. Really? Yeah, he was the best. He was really. He was really fun. And then. And then I would choose my wife's maid of honor. Too. And it would be Kristen Wiig, because she would do something funny for her speech, too.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. Yeah. Those are all good ones. By the way, did you see they're coming out with a new Jackass movie?

[Seth Payne]

Yeah. Is it out already or.

[Luke Morrow]

No, I think it just came out maybe this weekend. Because I saw a lot of promotion for it over the weekend.

[Seth Payne]

Is it out just in theaters or is it. I just. I don't know how things work anymore.

[Luke Morrow]

I think it's in theaters to begin. And I'll be honest, anything they put out, it's still. I guess maybe the juvenile and me, like, I'll watch it. I'll watch that movie when it's on streaming. I've always. That stuff always makes me laugh.

[Seth Payne]

So I get to. I. It's like, I don't like movies where people are in height situations, like, where they're on a high wire.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

Or just like, even the video of those two people that climb the Empire State Building.

[Luke Morrow]

I'm with you.

[Seth Payne]

I can't handle the vertigo. And, like, likewise with Jackass. It's just. I cringe too much. I can't. I don't enjoy it the way other people enjoy it.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I always fast forward through, like, the cringe stuff where they do, like, nasty things to their bodies. But I like seeing people. I don't know what it says about me. I like seeing people get hurt. That stuff.

[Seth Payne]

That's the time you took a serious nutshot. Like, seriously. Think about. Remember, like, that's. For me, the memory of just. You know, when you're in high school and somebody just lines you up and kicks you square in the nargs.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

The stomach ache, everything that goes along with that, it just comes right back. I can't. I can't do it. I can't watch a nutshot. I was never a big fan of America's Funniest Home Videos because It was, like, 25% groin shots.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. I just always thought the show was so corny. I never got into America's Funniest Home Videos. Some of the videos are just. They didn't do it for me. I gotta go to the Johnny Knoxville territory.

[Seth Payne]

Right.

[Luke Morrow]

Really make me laugh.

[Seth Payne]

You know what it was? You know what's coming out again? That was Faces of Death. There's, like, a documentary about Faces of Death.

[Luke Morrow]

I don't like that stuff. That's where I'll draw the line.

[Seth Payne]

Well, so, kids, there was this. It was a VHS tape that. If you're usually your sketchiest buddy, when you're in high school, had this dubbed copy of Faces of Death, which was people supposedly getting killed in real life. But a lot of it, I guess, was fake or augmented and everything. So it was kind of bogus. But that was the kind of stuff that we did before the Internet was around. And you could find, like, you could watch 20 in a 20 and 10 minutes of similar videos. You had to go find it on a dubbed VHS tape.

[Luke Morrow]

There's also. There's somewhere, I think, like a death museum. I am not into that stuff. I don't want to revel in other people's tragic passings or whatever.

[Seth Payne]

Did you. Getting back to the Taylor Swift wedding, did you recognize. Are you at an age yet where you didn't recognize, like, half of the people walking in? I don't like that. I don't know who half the celebrities are. I only found out who Timothy Chamberlay was, like, two years ago. Okay. That's how behind I am on stuff.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, I'm not good. Honestly, I'm not good with a lot of faces. I mean, going back to my story this morning, where I thought I saw celebrity at the pool on Saturday, but I'm not good at, like, recognizing people. My brother is really good. We were walking down the streets of New York last year, and Jordan Clarkson, who's on the Knicks, we walked. He was standing on the street. My brother's like, oh, there's Jordan Clarkson. I'm like, face blind. I don't know who anybody is.

[Seth Payne]

You know where we were. Sean and I were both like this at the. At the. At the Super Bowl. We were staying in the same hotel as the AFC Pro Bowl. Pro bowl participants or no, AFC and NFC Pro bowl participants. And Sean and I were both discussing with ourselves, like, how few of those guys we recognized by their faces.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

Because you just don't see them all that much. But even then, like, I was standing next to Trey McBride in the elevator, and it took me a while to figure out if it was Trey McBride or Aiden Hutchinson. I like. And ultimately I realized that just based on body size. And I don't think Aiden Hutchinson was actually at the Pro Bowl. The combination of those two things, it was like I had no clue. I really. I really couldn't tell just by looking at him. Oh, yeah, that's Trey McBride. Yeah.

[Luke Morrow]

You just try to ask a vague question to figure it out, like, oh, some year you guys had, huh? And if it's a good positive answer or, like, a negative answer, like, oh, he must be on the Cardinals.

[Seth Payne]

J.J. mcCarthy, huh? What do you think about that? J.J. mcCarthy. Trey McBride is like.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. On the text line, by the way, because I did ask, who would you want to officiate your wedding? We got Christopher Walken. That's a good one.

[Seth Payne]

Ooh, yeah.

[Luke Morrow]

Will Ferrell. I like that one, too. Larry David, obviously, is a big Seinfeld guy. Curb guy. I would love Larry David might be my number one answer.

[Seth Payne]

He would be kind of in line with Louis ck He would crap on the marriage for a while. I like, I like kind of you. You kind of be getting roasted like a different type of roaster. They'd be roasting the notion of marriage and that this is even going to work out, right, you know?

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. No, he would be good. Jameis Winston. Jack Black came in.

[Seth Payne]

James Winston would talk about a renaissance in, like, public popularity and everything. It's been, we've been seeing it on a, you know, on an NFL scale for the last decade, really, since he quit drinking. Whenever he quit drinking and got his life in order, he's been a completely different, like, more embraceable guy. But the World cup has amped his status up incredibly. People love him now.

[Luke Morrow]

I haven't even been paying attention, but I know obviously he's, he's just.

[Seth Payne]

Yeah, he's doing all this stuff. Like, I didn't even know what the Norwegian row thing was where they all sit on the ground and they do their rowing together. But he led the Norwegians in a bunch in that over the weekend or last week. And he's been doing all this stuff where he's just immersed down in the crowd and people love him.

[Luke Morrow]

And somebody said, Norm MacDonald, hands down, that's a good one. Obviously, rest in peace. But if you could pick anybody of all time, Norm MacDonald's another good one. For the same reasons we mentioned any of these top comedians. I do a great job.

[Seth Payne]

Norm's a tough one, though, because a lot of Norm was, you either got him or you didn't.

[Luke Morrow]

That's fair.

[Seth Payne]

And I feel like, and especially in a mixed crowd, if there's not a lot of stand up comedy fans, I would say the majority of the people there might just not get Norm MacDonald. They just, you know, when he does his intentionally horrible jokes. Yeah, there'd be a lot of people that were just like, who is this? But they couldn't afford a guy that could actually tell a proper joke. It's true. Like, and then you're explaining afterwards the whole wedding, like, no, that's actually. That was the joke. Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Morrow]

It's like the joke was that the

[Seth Payne]

joke was no good.

[Luke Morrow]

It's like when you go to a regular wedding and the bridesmaids. The bridesmaid, when in their speech, they'll tell inside jokes, and they're laughing so hard they could hardly get through it. But everyone else is sitting there like, I don't get this. I don't know.

[Seth Payne]

These are the most annoying women alive. How are you marrying into this friend circle? What the hell are you doing?

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. Real quick. Somebody asked if you were invited to this wedding and everything was paid for, would you go?

[Seth Payne]

Seth, I would have. Out of duty. I don't generally like things, but I hate going to events. And yet you always have a good time when you're there. It is a wedding. I don't think I've ever not had a good time at a wedding. Yeah.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

Right.

[Seth Payne]

So I would have gone based on that. I turned down. I turned down a lot of events that other people would be really excited to go to just because I don't. I don't like being committed to something for 12 hours. You know, like, when it comes to just. And I just. I hate the thought of it. But. Yeah, I would have reminded myself that you always have a good time at a wedding. You're gonna run into some people that you actually do either admire or that you, you know, know from something back in the day. And we would. Had a good time.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. If nothing else, just for the experience. We'll get to acknowledge me in just a moment. Somebody said on the text line, though, why do you consider this wedding to be absurd? Because not often, they said. People get married all the time by having friends or other people they know. Yeah. Not often do people get married with over a thousand guests there in what is called the world's most famous arena. That's why I think the wedding is absurd.

[Seth Payne]

Only I know a whole bunch of people that they just don't. They don't. They don't know, like, they have no connection to or anything. It's not like a. It's one thing if it's a friend of your. Like, there was. There's some NFL people there that I'm guessing were more friends of Jason Kelce than Travis Kelce. Okay, cool. That makes sense. It sounds like there are a lot of celebrities that neither of the people had a connection to.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

Right.

[Seth Payne]

That's the part that's weird.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. And only Sly Stone has ever been married in MSG before. And that was during a concert. So this is like, a one. You know, this has never happened before, that a celebrity rented out MSG for their wedding and filled it with a bunch of celebrities. That's why it's absurd. Stan Lee coming in. Chris Farley, Robin Williams, Kevin Hart. All good ones for officiants of the wedding.

[Seth Payne]

We were at a. We were at a wedding a couple weeks ago. Yeah, My wife's cousin was getting married, and they have. You know, they live on a farm, and they had cleared out a bunch of space next to a creek that runs along their farm. And it was an awesome, beautiful setting. But people do canoe and kayak down this creek on the way to the Allegheny River. And so it's this beautiful setting and everything. And they put signs up saying, hey, we're having a wedding. Please, you know, just try to keep quiet as you're going past this. And it's kind of nice because as we're doing the. As they were doing the ceremony, there were a few people going by on canoes. And all of a sudden, like, in the middle of the officiant doing her thing, one of these guys. All of a sudden, you hear off to my right on the stream, I was sitting near the stream, A guy go, don't do. Was. It could have gotten really ugly. Like, I'm kind of, like, wondering I'm closest to it all. And I kind of look over, and I'm like, am I gonna. Am I gonna have to intervene here? And Clinton, the. The kid who's getting married, he did. He handled it perfectly. He actually turned back to the guy, like, gave him a big smile and waved at him. And the guy. The buddy of the guy who was canoeing, and he'd yelled, said, like, I'm sorry, man. Good luck. And it was perfect. That was a. That was a perfect amount of weirdness. That's where I feel like. Like the officiant being Adam Sandler or somebody, like, that is the perfect amount of weirdness.

[Luke Morrow]

Right? That's what I always say. I've officiated a bunch of weddings. I'm doing another one later. Yeah, yeah. I'm doing another one later this month, too, for a friend of mine. And that's why I always tell everyone, you have to have a mix of, like, humor and funny, but you also still have to keep the seriousness of the moment because it's their big day. Some people see. Try to be too funny, and it's like, this is still a wedding, and other people might be a little too stiff. You have to try to Find that balance.

[Seth Payne]

You got to figure out, like, what the actual people are getting married. Want to.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, for sure. So, yeah. Anyways, it's fun. Last thing I'll say in this wedding, because we did spend more time than I, than I thought we even would, but Paul McCartney performed, which is that. That's fine. But he played I want to hold your hand for the first time live since 1964 for this wedding. And I know you guys have talked about Freddie a lot this whole, you know, this World cup fan, but. But it's the same issue I had with him as I have with this, of like, he hasn't played it for anybody. And then Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey, they already have everything else. They're the ones that get Paul McCartney playing this song for the first time like over 60 years. Whatever. It's been. That annoyed me too.

[Seth Payne]

You know what? That one doesn't annoy me because I'm guessing, I'm guessing they paid him a boatload of money.

[Serena Williams]

That's fair.

[Luke Morrow]

That's fair.

[Seth Payne]

I know. That's just good old fashioned capitalism right there. I wonder, do you think they paid him a million dollars to sing that song? If he hasn't sang it since then, since the 1960s?

[Luke Morrow]

It's a good question. I would be surprised. They apparently donated like 26 million to charities on the backs of this wedding. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.

[Seth Payne]

So they really.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, supposedly.

[Seth Payne]

How were they making. Were they making the money from the stuff that was going on at the wedding? I know it wasn't publicized. I know somebody probably paid for it. Exclusive rights and everything. There's going to be a video.

[Luke Morrow]

Oh, that's true. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I didn't. I didn't. Typical millennial fashion. I didn't read the story. I just saw the headline. So I'm going to take it as. As truth.

[Serena Williams]

I'm Serena Williams and I'm healthier on ROE. I've lost 34 pounds in a year with GLP1's diet and exercise. On ROE, you can access GLP1 options including the first FDA approved GLP1 pill for weight loss. Go to RO to see if you qualify. 14 to 20% average weight loss in one year in non diabetics with obesity or overweight with a weight related medical condition versus 2.2% to 3.1% in placebo arm Rx only. To stay informed about serious side effects, go to RO Co Safety.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

It is not hard to destroy a college. Last season the podcast Campus Files brought you stories of fraternity drug rings, stolen body parts, campus cults, and more.

[Luke Morrow]

And now Campus Files is back for another season. There's a guy screaming into his phone. He's like, I just saw Charlie Kirk assassinated right in front of me. Every week is a new episode and a new story.

[Seth Payne]

It was so chaotic.

[Luke Morrow]

It's almost like a university under siege.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

Listen to and follow Campus Files available now wherever you get your podcasts.

[Luke Morrow]

All right, better late than never. Let's get to Acknowledge Me, where we acknowledge certain people from over the weekend. And then you'll hear the sounder and explain why. But let's start it off. We already referenced it earlier, but what a Saturday for we need to acknowledge Jordan Alvarez.

[Seth Payne]

This was everything that you would want on a day that Jordan Alvarez gets named to the All Star team is that he came through like an absolute MVP on Saturday with a walk off in the ninth inning with a two run homer earlier and with a with as of Saturday night, his OPS at 1.078 was 100 points ahead of anybody else in the majors. Like, he's just, he's been incredible, you know, leading every category at the Triple Crown. It's just been, it's been so cool to watch him play on this team the entire season, but especially now that the team looks like they've, they've got a shot at being a much better team than they looked like in the first, the first quarter of the season where it looked like, okay, great, there's going to be like a Mike Trout type of MVP race where he's awesome, but it's on a, on a lost cause of a team now. It feels even better that the Astros have a pulse.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. And he's the heavy favorite. I checked this morning. He's like minus 180. Next closest is like plus 250. He's having a remarkable season. That was an MVP performance on Saturday. And it's pretty crazy. As I said earlier, you look at this lineup, only three guys, if we exclude my boy Taylor Tramiel, only three guys have an OPS above league average. So I know this lineup was great early in the season with injuries and whatnot. It's not as strong now, but Jordan is just, I mean, he's been so good, so much better than everybody else, including on his own team. Big performance Saturday. By the way, though, with that said, this might be an ironic acknowledge me, but we have to acknowledge Major League Baseball continuing to screw this stuff up. I think no sport does a worse job marketing themselves than Major League Baseball. They announced the all star teams at 7:30 on July 4th. Who's watching that?

[Seth Payne]

Yeah, I don't know, man. I think just they try to find the worst possible time to announce so many things, including half their awards don't get announced until a month after the season. Anyway. I just. I guess kudos to them for. I think they're trying to force. They're trying to force it into being a thing that. Yeah, no, this is what you do on the 4th of July as you're getting ready for fireworks and whatnot. This is when you. This is when you try to send your headlines off into a black hole. Yeah, right.

[Luke Morrow]

It's like. Yeah, it's exactly. It's like a Friday news dump. Friday at 5pm they did it Saturday night during the fireworks on July 4th. Hey, by the way, here are our all star teams. Major League Baseball always fumbles this stuff. Hey, we need to acknowledge Overall, the Astros nine straight wins on July 4th. Somebody on the text line earlier said they were there Saturday. The environment was electric. The atmosphere, longest July 4th winning streak since 1941. Does this make the Astros. Are they America's team?

[Seth Payne]

This is. I mean, the Cowboys, last I checked, have never even won a game on the Fourth of July in their entire existence.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah.

[Seth Payne]

And yet they call themselves America's team. I think. Yeah, I think this is. This is George Washington looking down on us and saying, this is.

[Luke Morrow]

This is.

[Seth Payne]

This is the team that should win consistently on the 4th of July. Yes.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, I guess so. Nine straight wins. Longest winning streak since 1941. And then as we've already talked about, I mean, they were trailing in that game. It wasn't looking good. Hunter Brown gets shelled. They still find a way to win. Jordan's the hero. If you were there, as we heard from a couple texters earlier, I mean, what a game to go to. I imagine it was a lot of fun. Plus the fireworks show afterwards.

[Seth Payne]

And the first time all season that there have been large scale MVP chance for Jordan Alvarez in the stadium. Which I wouldn't have believed if Callous hadn't confirmed it. Because usually, I mean, people jump on the MVP chance, you know, right. At all the way too early, way too often. I appreciate Astros fans discernment knowing, okay, we're at the midpoint of the season, it's the Fourth of July. This is when the MVP chance start.

[Luke Morrow]

You kind of just touched on it a moment ago. But do you think the Astros say they finish 80 and 82, they missed the playoffs. Do you think Jordan, if he continues on this path, will he still get the mvp or will they hold it against him that the team, you know, it's not a winning team?

[Seth Payne]

No, I think it'll be. I mean, it's just such a commanding lead right now that I guess the only thing holding him back might just be that he's a dh, but that, like, by and large he'd get the Mike Trout treatment. I think it's. I'd feel confident in that. If they, if they completely fall apart, that's a different story. But as long as they're hovering around.500, I think. I think, I think he gets it.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, it's true. You know, baseball's always done that. Like, I think a Rod won the MVP on a last place Rangers team, you know, 25 years ago. Baseball usually doesn't care as much about the record as some of the other sports.

[Seth Payne]

And, and Yordon never gets the, the blowback from the, from the being better than everybody else scandal the way some others do.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. We need to acknowledge Junior Caminaro. Youngest player. I believe I saw this stat. Youngest player to have 11 homers in 11 game stretch. He. He had what, a couple over the weekend?

[Seth Payne]

The.

[Luke Morrow]

The dude is on a roll. And funny enough, and you, you sang his praise earlier, Seth. But what's also funny is we got this story earlier this year that the Angels turned down a trade request for Ohtani that would have given them Junior Caminero, and instead they wanted to keep Ohtani. He ended up leaving that offseason, so it was the trade deadline before he came. Andro could be on the Angels right now, which I'm not telling you. The Angels would be good, but as an Astros fan, you'd have to deal with this guy all year long every year. Fortunately, he's still at the race.

[Seth Payne]

Yeah, this is the last time I think we'll probably acknowledge Junior Caminero. I wanted to get it in and actually look like I'm a good dude or something, but I did. I enjoyed. I enjoyed that. I enjoyed that part of this series. And I probably wouldn't feel that way if the Astros had lost the Series, but I love, I love having somebody like that, that we haven't been. We haven't just been inundated with talk about him. So, like, on Friday, they wouldn't shut up about him on the Apple broadcast. And you're not watching your home broadcasters and everything. So that could have been annoying. But I, I was cool with it. I was cool with it. By next year, this time, I'll probably despise him. But right now it's fun to watch a young guy like that and to get the better end of that series.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, yeah, certainly. Right? That's, that's the thing. If you lose the series, he's probably a little more annoying and you can't

[Seth Payne]

appreciate those efforts, but he's a cocky young jerk. I hate him.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah. So it's easy to be like magnanimous. Yeah. When you win the series, it's easy to heap praise on others. This is a little self serving, but humor me here for a moment. We need to acknowledge Collective Soul. I was very pleased to see Collective Soul was the headliner of the July 4th celebrations here in Houston. Keith Urban went on first and then Collective Soul at the Houston July 4th party and at Sam Houston park, whatever it is, one of the parks downtown we went last year. Um, but anyways, I didn't get to see it. We were out this year. I didn't get to watch it on tv. We did not go there in person. But I saw a lot of praise for Collective Soul on social media, which I love because I've always said, and Seth, I don't know, you know, how big of a music guy you might be or what bands you might be into, but I've always said Collective Soul, to me is the most underrated band of the 90s. And so I was happy to see them get some, get some shine here in Houston over the weekend. Pun intended.

[Seth Payne]

No, that's. I don't, I don't know. How have they been relevant since we knew they're like big songs and everything, December and whatnot.

[Luke Morrow]

Not really. Not in at least. Like, they still tour, but not really. They haven't had like a popular song in probably over 15 years.

[Seth Payne]

Yeah, no, that's. That's right in my wheelhouse then. Yeah, I approve of that choice. I've had too many. I. Listen, listen, kids. We get inundated with these, you know, streamers that we've never heard of that are a big deal and everything. You can make room for our Collective Soul.

[Luke Morrow]

That's right. Yeah. You know, they're classic. It's kind of like a lot of the rappers are doing it now. But Collective Soul, they've. They've survived for the last 20 years on these nostalgic 90s tours where they tour with like, I don't know, Counting Crows is too big of a name. But you find like three, like live collective soul. You find three bands that were popular in the 90s that people haven't really thought about in 20 years. And you put them all together and that's what Collective Soul's been doing. But they were. They're a really, really underrated and really good band outside of their obvious hits. If you listen to a lot of their other songs from the 90s, really good band.

[Seth Payne]

You know what I was. I had to talk with Bun V about this once. It was cool. About, like, those hip hop. Hip hop artists and groups from, like, the 90s. They didn't really know what the market was going to be for, you know, like, that what the nostalgia was going to be for their songs. Because there wasn't, you know, classic rock. It's. There's an established template. Yeah. Like, people show up for these concerts and everything for guys who are rock stars in the 70s and the 80s and all that. But there was kind of a period where, like, Bun B and some of those guys weren't really sure if they were going to have a career, you know, in their 40s and 50s and so forth. So that's why Bun had. Bun kind of got his fingers in a lot of different pies and, you know, got into different business ventures and everything. But then along the way. And that worked out well for him. But then along the way, it turns out, oh, yeah, there's a market for. There's a market for 90s rap out there still in concert.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, right, right. Yeah. Which is good. So anyways, acknowledge acknowledgments to Collective Acknowledge old musicians. Yeah, that's right. Except Paul McCartney, who played that song for the first time in 60 years just for Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.

[Seth Payne]

No, none for him.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, yeah.

[Seth Payne]

Get out. Paul McCartney.

[Luke Morrow]

That's right.

[Seth Payne]

Trash.

[Luke Morrow]

Yeah, Seriously, That's Acknowledge Me here on this Monday coming up. I heard this audio last week, so I do want to bring it back. Is one of the biggest offenses we're making for CJ Shroud actually part of his fault. We'll talk about that next year. Payne and Pendergast.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

Every week on the Moth Podcast, you'll hear true stories that will intrigue you, inspire you, and make you laugh.

[Seth Payne]

He said, is there anything in your diet that might be spiking your blood sugar? I said, sometimes I eat pizza until I'm unconscious. He said, I think that might be it for real.

[Podcast Host (Rachel Braethan / Campus Files / The Moth)]

Stories live on stage from comedians, astronauts, accountants, farmers, and people just like you. Follow and listen to the Moth wherever you get your podcasts.