Podcast
Permission To Be Human
Hosted by Janelle and Andrea · EN
Welcome to Permission to be Human!
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We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure.
You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills.
Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues.
If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you.
With glitter and radical acceptance,
Janelle & Andrea.
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Follow, subscribe, share and download wherever you get your podcasts!
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Learn more about us at: permissiontobehuman.live
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Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY
https://www.lvdymusic.com/
16episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
125: We Loved It Enough to Let It End: Andrea & Janelle's Conscious Final Episode
Apr 700:33:18Tap to summarize125: We Loved It Enough to Let It End: Andrea & Janelle's Conscious Final Episode This final episode is less a goodbye and more a mic drop on three years of evolution, experimentation, and radical honesty. Andrea and Janelle close out Permission to Be Human NOT because they ran out of things to say—but because the podcast served its purpose, teaching them how to figure out what they want and ask for it. What started as processing relationships in real time became an accidental roadmap for anyone willing to question everything, and a massive return on their own life investment. There's a nod to LVDY, Sophie Howell and We Can Do Hard Things. You'll hear: -Why ending "on a high note" can be a radical act -The arc of the becoming and the gratitude for bravehearts -Why it was never about their way, but an invitation to find yours -The vital shift from external validation to internal alignment -A recap of Seasons' 1-6 -How building a relationship with self is always the first move -About their next big adventures -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →REPEAT: 2: Question Everything, Especially Your Mothers' Advice
Mar 3100:27:28Tap to summarizeREPEAT: 2: Question Everything, Especially Your Mothers' Advice What have you questioned lately? In this episode, we cover how questioning everything--including formats for marriage, religion, birth, parenthood and matching outfits has led to aha moments. You'll even hear some Billy Joel. Some key points in this episode: -A review of our mother's advice! -The power of social conditioning -How questioning your own rules can lead to epiphany Additional resources: Natalie Goldberg's" Long Quiet Highway" -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →124: Part 8/8, Relationship Death Doulas Talk Repair, Intimacy & Rebirth: Designing a Relationship that Works Series
Mar 2400:43:29Tap to summarize124: Part 8/8, Relationship Death Doulas Talk Repair, Intimacy & Rebirth: Designing a Relationship that Works Series What if the problem isn't your relationship… it's that you won't let it die? In this episode, Andrea & Janelle interview relationship death doulas Yana Rumi and Cari Caldwell, who don't just "work on" their relationship—they burn it down on purpose. No catastrophe required. Just a willingness to stop pretending, drop the roles, and meet each other again from zero. Truth: most relationships don't fail because of conflict—they suffocate under unspoken agreements, stale identities, and quiet resentment. Like computers, relationships require a defrag and a restart ;-). You'll hear: -About the flatlined nature of "Happily Ever After" -Why you should schedule sex without intercourse expectation -How predictability can be such a cage -Truth: Repair isn't a failure, its a gym where the intimacy muscles get stronger -How jealousy, desire and curiosity are all just sensations Why they're NOT committed to forever, but to each other's fullest expression -The beauty of choosing each other again after brief separation -Validation about the "weight of survival" Learn more at relationshipdeathdoulas.life -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →123: Part 7/8, Legally Married, Personally Single: A Radical Family Experiment: Designing a Relationship that Works Series
Mar 1700:43:46Tap to summarize123: Part 7/8, Legally Married, Personally Single: A Radical Family Experiment: Designing a Relationship that Works Series In this episode, Andrea and Janelle sit down with Nitsan Mesika, a wilderness therapist and psychedelic practitioner who has spent 25 years legally married to her partner… while both consider themselves single. Instead of divorce, they designed something new: a shared home, separate bedrooms, fluid parenting roles, independent romantic lives, and a fierce commitment to the family rather than a formula. Nitsan's story is a reminder that relationships aren't static agreements — they're living ecosystems. There's a nod to Non Violent Communication. You'll hear: -How she explained it all to her kids -Why Nitsan and her partner don't strive to be the same -The difference between conflict and rupture -When texting is better than talking -How Nitsan parented in her non-traditional setting -Why a relationships don't have to follow norms to be stable, loving, or ethical. -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →122: Part 6/8, Polyamory, Parenting, and the Art of Staying Yourself: Designing a Relationship that Works Series
Mar 1100:49:00Tap to summarize122: Part 6/8, Polyamory, Parenting, and the Art of Staying Yourself: Designing a Relationship that Works Series What if the real secret to a lasting relationship isn't the structure — monogamy, polyamory, swinging, or anything else — but the willingness to approach with love? In this episode, Andrea and Janelle sit down with John Holle and Katie Wise, a Boulder-based couple married for 17 years who have experimented with nearly every relationship format imaginable. From open play and live-in partners to raising teenagers inside a radically honest household, their story is less about labels and more about curiosity, growth, and choosing each other again and again. It's messy, tender, funny, and surprisingly wise. There's a nod to play therapy, the book "Polysecure", Tamera and the documentary, "The Village of Lovers." You'll hear: -How their childhoods--chaotic divorce and big-time care--impacted their own choices -About the Burning Man that began their foundation -The intense chapter of a household with three adults and two kid -Navigating jealousy, attachment styles, and the myth that one person must meet every nee -Why community, coaching, and conscious conversation have been essential to their marriag -Why the structure matters less than the love residing inside Learn more about John's mediation practice at consciousfamilyfirm.com. Katie's band can be found online at Katie Wise + Bhakti Explosion -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →121: Part 5/8, Why Clean Devotion & DS Dynamics = Orgasms and Freedom: How to Design a Relationship that Works
Mar 300:42:51Tap to summarize121: Part 5/8, Why Clean Devotion & DS Dynamics = Orgasms and Freedom: How to Design a Relationship that Works In this episode, Andrea and Janelle sit down with Adam and Emily, partners in their 50s who are crafting love with intention instead of default settings. After marriages, monogamy, and open relating, they've chosen a dynamic they call monogamous with a dominant/submissive current. They speak candidly about unlearning self-sacrifice, dismantling "happy wife, happy life," and replacing conflict avoidance with courageous truth. What if structure, commitment and focus actually led to freedom? What if being with another helped you meet yourself? You'll hear: -About the orgasms that await on the other side of the fire -How to confront geographic challenges with fluidity and ease -The value of an intuitive "fuck yes" policy -About Adam's devotion without self-abandonment -How Emily has reframed "submission" -Why you should "excavate" early and often -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →120: 4/8, Ali Katz Married Herself: Why We Should Stop Waiting to be Chosen; How to Design a Relationship That Works Series
Feb 2000:43:37Tap to summarize120: 4/8, Ali Katz Married Herself: Why We Should Stop Waiting to be Chosen; How to Design a Relationship That Works Series Andrea sits down with Ali Katz — entrepreneur, community builder, mother, and self-marriage pioneer — to explore her journey of box-checking success, internal disconnection, discovery of the warring selves within and the need for identity death before birthing a new soul. If you're waiting for the one, if you're healing from heartbreak, if you're seeking belonging without self-abandonment, or if you're looking to dismantle the traditional relationship script, this is for you. You'll hear: -How Ali fell in love with who she is -All about her proposal, ring, vows and Costa Rica wedding -Why magic rituals (and a Ketubah!) create reality -Why we need not WAIT to be chosen -How she built internal safety instead of outsourcing -All about an ayahuasca journey vision -Her mid-life shift from the beaches of LA to the fields of Boulder -How self-devotion prevents future partner resentment Find Ali's wedding online (!!!) at www.thealikatz.com/marry-yourself -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →119: Part 3/8: Monogamous, Sleeping Apart & Growing Together: How to Design a Relationship that Works Series
Feb 1700:51:15Tap to summarize119: Part 3/8: Monogamous, Sleeping Apart & Growing Together: How to Design a Relationship that Works Series Twenty-four years, one marriage, separate bedrooms, and zero regrets—meet Jonathan and Angela, the monogamous couple proving that "traditional" doesn't have to mean boring AF. From their "let's put all cards on the table" first date where they basically arranged their own marriage, to their eight-month pandemic deep-dive that finally let them fine-tune 19 years of functional-but-not-optimized coupledom, these two are rewriting the relationship rulebook one shower date at a time. The secret sauce? Radical independence with devotion, love languages as tacos (yes, really), and understanding that intimacy isn't just about sex—it's about being each other's biggest cheerleader while also knowing when to meow it out and go to your separate corners. Spoiler: sleeping apart might actually save your relationship, and you don't need grand gestures when Post-it notes and offering a water bottle speak volumes in the right love language. You'll hear: -How they created their own 'arranged' marriage on the first date -Separate bedrooms = less resentment = relationship gold -Why re-learning the 5 Love languages as tacos changed everything -"What makes the whole work" beats "what makes me happy right now" -Why little things beat the grand gestures -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →118: Ep 2/8, Andrea & Kevin's Blueprint for Modern Love: Saturday CheckIns are So Hot Right Now! : How To Design a Relationship That Works Series
Feb 1000:50:17Tap to summarize118: Ep 2/8, Andrea & Kevin's Blueprint for Modern Love: Saturday CheckIns are So Hot Right Now! : How To Design a Relationship That Works Series Hey Bravehearts, curious how to start a romantic relationship at 50? After divorce, polyamory, therapy, personal growth and years of unlearning cultural BS, Andrea and Kevin share the actual tools, conversations, rituals, and agreements they use to create emotional safety, embodied intimacy, a sense of freedom and a relationship that doesn't require self-abandonment. This is about two grown humans stay AWAKE and choosing each other from a place of wholeness. There's a nod to Susan Cain's "Quiet", Betty Martin's "The Art of Receiving and Giving", Jack Morin's "The Erotic Mind", Attachment Theory, Brené Brown and Esther Perel. You'll hear: -Why five weeks of Zoom calls set a beautiful stage for a first date -About Saturday check-ins, eye-gazing and a suggestion box (Yes!) -About a mealtime prayer is better than a gratitude journal -How wrestling and rough-housing is part of their intimacy -Why catching tension early is the secret to a beautiful relationship -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →117: Part 1/8: Janelle's Evolution from Catholic Monogamy to Solo Poly, D/s and Unicorn: How To Design a Relationship That Works Series
Feb 300:44:20Tap to summarize117: Part 1/8: Janelle's Evolution from Catholic Monogamy to Solo Poly, D/s and Unicorn: How To Design a Relationship That Works Series Holy shit, are you ready to have your relationship rulebook completely obliterated? In this season six premiere, Janelle pulls back the curtain on her unconventional love life that includes being solo poly, in a DOM/sub container, a unicorn, AND a comet relationship. From scheduled sex to sleeping solo to discovering she's actually happiest as the "second woman," Janelle's journey from Catholic-raised monogamy to radical self-permission is proof that designing your own relationship format isn't just possible—it's fucking liberating. This isn't about advocating for any particular setup; it's about giving yourself permission to unlearn everything you were taught and discover where you actually thrive. Spoiler alert: it might look nothing like what you imagined, and that's exactly the point. For more relationship format ideas, Janelle recommends Designer Relationships, by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson. You'll hear: -What enmeshment means and why it pertains to solo poly -Unicorns are real… Janelle is a living example -Scheduled sex > spontaneous sex -How off-duty nights could save marriages -When jealousy was Janelle's gateway drug to truth Learn more about Janelle at feelwildlyalive.com -------------- We're Andrea and Janelle--two midlife mavericks sharing openly about our own experiences--messy AF and no regrets----with marriage, divorce, polyamory and pleasure. You'll hear from relationship experts, meet real life Bravehearts and get intimacy skills. Truth: When we're brave enough to ask for what we want, honor our boundaries and have the hard conversations--with partners, friends, family and, most importantly, ourselves--magic happens and happiness ensues. If you're seeking permission to create a new map for relationships and want to feel less alone along the way, we got you. With glitter and radical acceptance, Janelle & Andrea. Follow, subscribe and share!Learn more about us at: https://www.permissiontobehuman.live/ Music: "Running Wild" by LVDY https://www.lvdymusic.com/
Transcribe →