Petersboat – “The Monday After | How Could He Ask Emily for Help?”

Host: R. Ketcham
Date: October 28, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Petersboat delves into the vastness of the cosmos and the even greater mystery of the human heart’s longing for the infinite, framing these reflections in the context of recent Sunday Mass readings, St. Augustine’s insights, and a poignant film reference. Host R. Ketcham, a Catholic priest on Long Island, guides listeners through wrestling with doubts, the struggle of prayer, fear of intimacy with God, and the courage to allow oneself to be loved despite one’s imperfections. The episode’s central question—“How could he ask Emily for help?”—serves as a metaphor for humanity’s audacious appeal for mercy and help from the very one we may have wronged.

Key Discussion Points

1. Fear at the Edges: Space, Mystery, and the Infinite

[00:00–05:17]

• Begins with reflections on a YouTube video about the frightening vastness of space.
• Suggests that the “greatest mystery is what’s happening in the human heart”—the desire for a relationship with the infinite.
• Relates longing for infinity to how the universe itself seems to expand into mystery, mirroring human desire for communion with what transcends us.

Notable Quote:

“We have a desire in our heart for a relationship with the infinite… Is it possible that we are even more afraid of that desire for the infinite than we are of space?” (R. Ketcham, 03:43)

2. The Origin and Nature of the Desire for God

[05:18–12:08]

• Explores where this desire comes from (“Who put it there?”) and argues it must come from a personal source—God.
• Draws on St. Augustine: creation awakens our desire for God, but only God fulfills it.
• Examines why acknowledging this desire evokes fear—fear of disappointment, spiritual exhaustion, shame over sin.

Notable Quote:

“The fatigue that comes from trying desperately to squeeze the Creator out of his creation and being unable to. So we're just exhausted.” (R. Ketcham, 09:16)

3. Suppressing or Distorting the Desire for God

[12:09–17:54]

• Outlines common responses to this foundational longing: projecting it onto created things, demanding perfection from people or things, addictive behaviors.
• Warns that violence to self and others occurs when imperfect things/people are expected to satisfy infinite longing.

Notable Quote:

“You’re like children who are licking a flyswatter when you’re looking for the ice pop. You know it’s never going to satisfy you when you go to these things and these people over and over again saying, give me what you’re promising me...” (R. Ketcham, 14:37)

4. God’s Compassion and the Experience of Mercy

[17:55–27:40]

• Questions: What if God deeply understands our fear and our condition and responds with compassion?
• Cites readings from Sirach: God hears the “cry of the poor,” and the “prayer of the lowly pierces the clouds.”
• Shares personal struggle with doubt in prayer after watching the YouTube video, describing an “indescribable, undefinable” sense of God’s response.

Notable Quote:

“Are you really with me, Lord? … I’m not asking for anything. And I know I’ve got nothing but please. And you know, in an indescribable, undefinable way, he responds.” (R. Ketcham, 22:02)

5. St. Paul: Betrayal, Loneliness, and God’s Presence

[27:41–31:05]

• Relates to St. Paul’s experience of desertion and finding strength through God’s presence.
• Emphasizes that a relationship with God frees us from demanding perfection from others and allows us to accept imperfection.
• St. Paul’s words: “Do not hold this against them…” serve as both gratitude for suffering and affirmation of God’s sufficiency.

6. Allowing God to Love Us in Sinfulness

[31:06–36:37]

• Discusses the Gospel reading’s parable of the tax collector: “O God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”
• Highlights the value of humility—not pretending perfection, but “preferring reality.”
• Argues that even after sin, we can please God by letting him love us, and our ability to express sorrow (“I’m sorry”) is evidence of God’s grace.

Notable Quote:

“I know that when I say I'm sorry, he hears, I love you.” (R. Ketcham, 35:08)

7. The Crossing Guard: The Audacity of Asking for Help

[36:38–41:47]

• Recounts the film The Crossing Guard: A man who killed a girl, Emily, seeks help from her at her grave, exemplifying vulnerability before the one he’s wronged.
• Uses this story as a parallel for going to Christ—the one our sins have hurt—and begging for help.

Notable Quote:

“How could her killer dare to ask her for help? … It’s the same reason we can cry out to Jesus for help, the one we crucify with our sins.” (R. Ketcham, 40:31)

8. St. Peter: Sin, Boldness, and Living from Deep Desire

[41:48–47:20]

• Focuses on St. Peter’s unique courage: simultaneously aware of his sin yet unashamed of his desire for God.
• Remembers Peter’s words: “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man” but also, “To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”
• Stresses that the Church is founded not on perfection but on this willingness to speak from the depths of desire and need.
• Describes Peter’s boat as an image for the Church: not a gathering of the perfect, but those persistent in longing for God.

Notable Quote:

“The one thing that makes you a fisher of men is if you say, I am a sinner and I am staying with him.” (R. Ketcham, 44:42)

9. Final Reflections: Mercy and Divine Intimacy

[47:21–End]

• Concludes with the Psalmist’s awe: “What is man that you think of him, mortal man, that you care for him?”
• Reiterates that Christ is “closest to me after I sin, when I open my heart to you.”

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Is it possible we are even more afraid of that desire for the infinite than we are of space?” (03:43)
• *"The desire for God in our heart is his perfect desire for us. We, because of sin, can only manifest it imperfectly. But he'll take it." (46:03)
• *“How could her killer dare to ask her for help? … It’s the same reason we can cry out to Jesus for help, the one we crucify with our sins.” (40:31)
• *“I know that when I say I'm sorry, he hears, I love you.” (35:08)
• *“The one thing that makes you a fisher of men is if you say, I am a sinner and I am staying with him.” (44:42)
• *“Are you really with me, Lord? … And in an indescribable, undefinable way, he responds.” (22:02)

Takeaways for Listeners

• Human longing for the infinite is universal, mysterious, and sometimes frightening.
• God understands and responds to our desire, fear, and even sinfulness with compassion.
• Our inability to fulfill infinite longing with finite things is not a sign of failure, but an invitation to turn to God.
• The courage to admit one’s faults, while continuing to desire God, lies at the heart of the Christian journey—epitomized by St. Peter.
• True humility is “preferring reality”—acknowledging who we are (sinners) and who God is (infinite love).
• Divine mercy draws especially near to us at our lowest; expressing sorrow is itself an act of grace.

For those who missed the episode, these reflections offer an intimate look at the wrestling, humility, and hope that mark the spiritual life, reminding us that “he would rather we put our sins on him than that we would walk away from the Father.”