Petersboat Podcast Episode Summary

Episode: The Monday After | Saint Joseph, A Good Parent
Host: R. Ketcham
Date: December 30, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Fr. R. Ketcham delivers reflections on the role of parents—especially through the lens of St. Joseph, the foster father of Jesus. Using the Catholic celebration of the Feast of the Holy Family as context, Ketcham discusses the vocation and responsibility of parents in forming their children according to God’s purpose, not merely personal ambition. Drawing from personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and scriptural meditation, the episode explores how true parental guidance involves nurturing what God has already given each child.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Modern Parenting Mantra vs. Holy Family’s Approach

• Ketcham opens by questioning the familiar parental saying: "You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up." (00:00)
  • He notes that while the intention is good—encouraging adventure, resilience, and unconditional love—it does not reflect how Mary and Joseph parented Jesus.
  • He observes:

    “I can't imagine Our Lady or St. Joseph saying to Jesus, you can be whatever you want to be… I think they saw their role much more as helping him to know the reason for which God sent him into the world.” (01:07)

• Instead of unlimited self-invention, the Holy Family’s parenting centered on helping Jesus discover and live out his divine vocation.

Vocation: Not Just for Jesus

• Ketcham challenges the idea that finding meaning or vocation is just for extraordinary lives:
  • “Why is it that we say about Jesus, well, he has meaning and purpose and vocation and relationship with God... but we have to give all that to ourselves? The Church doesn't teach that.” (02:06)
  • Every person, he insists, has a call to holiness and a unique God-given vocation, with parents entrusted to help form it.

Formation of Jesus by Mary and Joseph

• The episode’s central image:
  • Before Jesus could carry the cross, "he first needed help from St. Joseph to become a man who could climb a hill"—to do God’s will even unto death. (03:10)
  • Ketcham describes God as taking a leap of faith by entrusting Jesus' humanity to earthly parents:

    “God had already given Jesus an identity... But then He entrusted His son to the formation of His parents...” (03:37)

• He raises a provocative question:

  “Is it possible that his divinity could have gone to waste... were it not for the virtues Mary and St. Joseph sowed into his humanity through their parenting?” (06:12)

Human Nature & Moral Intuition – Psychologist’s Experiment

• Ketcham shares a psychological study where infants instinctively choose helpful over harmful figures (04:01):
  • “Almost all of the children reach for the square because the square was the one trying to help the circle up the hill. Hmm.”
  • This suggests we’re born with a “God-given sense of good and bad,” but that sense needs development through family (05:01).

Parenting: Nurturing God’s Gifts

• Drawing from a bishop’s advice about writing—“use less adjectives”—Ketcham applies it to parenthood:
  • Don’t try to “force” children into anything, but:

    “You need only nurture what God has given them already and encourage them to embrace who they are to God.” (09:06)

  • St. Joseph, he suggests, trusted and supported Jesus in discovering and fulfilling his vocation, rather than dictating it (09:43).

The Example of St. Joseph

• Joseph as the silent guide:
  • “It’s a little funny putting words in the mouth of St. Joseph, since not a single word of his was recorded for us in the scriptures. He was apparently so masterful at using less adjectives that he used no other parts of speech either.” (10:41)
  • His silence modeled patience, listening, and obedient fatherhood.

Scriptural Reflection: The Boy Jesus in the Temple

• Recounting the story of Jesus at age 12 (Luke 2:41-51), Ketcham imagines Joseph and Mary’s parental concerns when Jesus remained behind in the temple (12:01):
  • “Okay, first of all, why weren't you in the caravan when we left. And secondly, you still got some growing up to do.”
  • Despite Jesus’ awareness of his vocation, “he returned... to Nazareth and was obedient to them.” (13:32)
  • Even Christ “still needs formation. He's still a teenager, still becoming a man.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parental Purpose:

  “We will try our best, do whatever we can to help you discover your vocation, the purpose for which the Father sent you into this world.” (01:23)

• On the Courage of Parental Formation:

  “God took another risk by asking Joseph to form the humanity of His Divine Son.” (03:22)

• Psychologist’s Study:

  “Almost all of the children reach for the square because the square was the one trying to help...” (05:01)

• Advice from Bishop Murphy:

  “Use less adjectives.” (08:53)
  “Trust the authority of your fatherhood, your priesthood. You don’t need to force people into anything or even make them into something.” (09:00)

• On St. Joseph’s Example:

  “Joseph may have been tempted to say, I want you to be the man I say you are… But again, he was a good parent and said, Jesus, you need to do God’s will.” (09:49)

• Sacred Silence:

  “He was apparently so masterful at using less adjectives that he used no other parts of speech either. But of course, his silence is more a sign of his being a good listener, a man obedient to God.” (11:02)

• On Parenting Imperfection:

  “St. Joseph can say to us, I was not perfect, I made mistakes. But I knew that God had already given my son gifts and an identity. I needed only to nurture that in him and to help him to embrace those gifts and that identity.” (11:41)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 — Modern Parenting vs. Holy Family’s Approach
• 03:10 — Formation of Jesus and the Courage of God
• 04:01 — Child Psychologist’s Experiment on Good and Bad
• 06:12 — The Need for Parental Guidance Despite Innate Gifts
• 08:53 — Bishop Murphy’s Advice: “Use Less Adjectives”
• 10:41 — St. Joseph as Silent, Obedient Parent
• 12:01 — The Boy Jesus in the Temple: Still Needs Formation
• 13:32 — Obedience of Jesus as a Sign of Ongoing Parental Formation

Conclusion

Fr. Ketcham’s episode gently reframes parenting as an act of “nurturing, not inventing”—a collaboration with God, modeled in its highest form by St. Joseph and Mary. His message encourages parents to trust the authority and dignity of their role, to support their children’s journey toward their unique vocation, and to remember that even Jesus needed to grow, learn, and be parented.