Truth. I did a quick search of my collection of posts this morning and discovered that the word “truth” has made an appearance many, many, times. It seems to be a subject of which I never tire, or perhaps something that unceasingly troubles and fascinates me. I find that seeing things as they really are remains challenging regardless of vigilance, education, or the humbling effects of life’s corrective movements. The more we see, the more we realize how imperfectly we see it.

The iconic line from 1992’s A Few Good Men recently came to my mind. You know the one: “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” A line delivered by Jack Nicholson with a devastating gut punch of contempt. Facing charges in a military tribunal, Nicholson’s character was accusing his accusers of not only not seeing things clearly but also being unable to accept the dark reality of the truth. Click here to watch the classic scene.

Though Nicholson’s Machiavellian means of dealing with the truth as he saw it was proven to be immoral and illegal by the court, the story explores a dark zone of compromise in the both and of upholding moral order in the natural law and the need to be aggressive in protecting a country’s interests in a dangerous world. Wherever we find ourselves in our day-to-day existence, seeing things as they really are often eludes us.

The fact is that most of us spend quite a bit of time traveling between reality and delusion. The truth is frequently beset by the lies that others tell us, the lies that the world tells us, and the lies we tell ourselves. Lies, empowered by our belief, fuel delusion – the place where what we see as reality is not what those around us see. I’m not talking about delusion in the form of true mental illness, but the self-delusions we hold closely for myriad reasons.

The reality is that we’re often quite comfortable in the familiar of our self-delusions. Delusions which frequently appear in the conclusions we draw about others and the world around us and in the assumptions we make about their intentions. In this place, we can become fixated on perceived wrongs and transgressions or the fear of them. They are very often lies. Lies spoken to us or lies spoken to ourselves.

Why are such lies so much more believable than the truth?

One reason is laziness. Sloth. Pursuing the truth takes effort. Work. Discernment. It is so much easier sitting in the big easy chair of our own preconceived notions or the whispers of others. We allow it because digging to the bottom of anything not obvious takes mental, emotional, and perhaps even physical energy. Why seek to understand the reality of something if I can have the lie served up effortlessly? With the onslaught of social media, 24 hour media sources, and now AI, there is no end to having every conceivable thought served up to us with zero effort.

Granted, such noise makes truth difficult to discern. After all, whose reality is the right reality? But that too becomes a slothful path as we abandon reason for ease or feeling. Sorting through it all is its own demand. It’s far easier to just let it happen.

Sometimes the lie feels good. There is a rush of pleasure in the feedback loop that tells us we are right. Yes, feeling right is a powerful elixir, akin to the euphoric intoxication of a drug. Even the moderately plausible creates the rush. This is so insidious that we even get the fix of being right even if it’s a negative about ourself. Think about that – we derive some weird pleasure in the validation of a lie about ourself…even if it’s negative. And yet, we kind of knew this all along.

We often accept lies at face value because they fit our pre-written narrative. We see what we want or expect in them. Sycophants and charlatans haunt our days and nights, appearing in our media, our social media, our causes, our workplaces, and our friendships. We open the door to the lie because it’s what we want to hear and the world around us senses it. Lies are not always passed with nefarious intent. Some of the most destructive lies hide behind noble intentions.

The problem with truth is that it might demand something. Recognizing the truth might cost us. It might cost effort to discern it. It might cost the sacrifice of long held beliefs or sacred cows. It might force change that we really don’t want. It might demand humility or forgiveness. It could cost us dollars or time or pain…physical or emotional. It could cost us relationships or belonging or status.

We invite lies into our lives because they enable us. We endure liars because they deal in delivering the fix of what we want to hear. Even that liar sitting between our own ears.

What are the signs of a lie? Victimhood, groupthink, and anger from perceived slights can be smoke rising from the ember of a lie. Words and story that are so easily received that they remind you of a deliciously refreshing beverage on a hot day – just what you needed. A lie may be hidden in information that affirms your suspicions or titillates your imagination. Or, there may be half-truth in the data that gives you permission to keep doing what you’ve been doing…telling you that you were right all along. Conclusions that lead you to loneliness and isolation are major signals of a lie. Even the misery of despair offers its own strange comforts.

A really tricky thing about a lie or self-delusion, is that there may be truth in it. At least partially. Given the slightest hint of truth, supported with our own perceptions, and we can be convinced to see any number of mixed realities. Particularly about ourself. The mirror on the wall offers some of the greatest lies we’ll ever hear and we fall for them every time as they appear in the dulcet tones of our own voice.

Truth must be pursued. It must be discerned. It takes effort and time and energy. It may be uncomfortable and can hurt but it really does set you free. Truth is often quieter than the lie, harder to see, and far less insistent…at least on first glance. Once you see, it can become quite demanding.

The truth of the matter is: we can handle the truth…if we want to to. We must be willing to hear, see, and accept it. We have to surround ourselves with honest inputs and resonators, rather than the mirrors that echo merely what we think we want. What’s a resonator? Anyone or anything that helps you rise to your best, your true, pitch. You know, the one that is joyful and flourishing.

Seeing things as they really are is a journey of self-awareness, prudence, and heart, which allows us to receive the truth and reflect it. The truth is that we will finally know it when we see it, sense it when it comes near, and feel it move us, when we have done the hard work of seeking it rather than being swept-up in the flood of lies that surrounds us. The truth will set us free, if we want it to and allow it to happen.

We Can’t Handle the Truth