Planet Tyrus – Christmas Special With Tyrus & His Elves | Episode Summary

Episode Air Date: December 24, 2025
Host: Tyrus
Guests/“Elves”: Ryan (B), Harry (C)
Theme: A humorous, high-energy Christmas special where Tyrus and two “elves” riff on Christmas traditions, holiday gripes, and gift-giving, blending irreverence, nostalgia, and observations on culture.

Overview

This Planet Tyrus Christmas special brings together Tyrus and two spirited guests dressed as elves for a playful, sometimes chaotic roast of Christmas itself. The conversation is a quick-moving round of jokes, holiday complaints, pop culture debates, and improvised storytelling, with Tyrus delivering his trademark blend of wit, candor, and skepticism about holiday traditions. Throughout, the episode pokes fun at Christmas excesses, treasured memories, and the peculiarities of modern celebrations, all with a nod to the joys (and annoyances) that define the season.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Spirit vs. Christmas Cynicism

• Tyrus’s Holiday Stance:
  • Prefers to give begrudgingly: “This is a pig and chicken on a plate situation… I'll give a little to Christmas. You guys, you went all in.” (01:00)
  • Clarifies he doesn’t hate Christmas but dislikes people’s behavior: “I don’t hate Christmas. I hate people during Christmas.” (01:34)
• Handling Christmas at Home:
  • Tyrus’s family is all-in, decorating fully by November 30. His main role is to fund it all, highlighting the parental burden.

2. Debates Over Christmas Movies

• Die Hard is a Christmas Movie
  • Ryan brings up “Lethal Weapon vs. Die Hard.” Tyrus settles it:
    • “Lethal Weapon isn’t a Christmas movie. Die Hard is.” (03:51)
    • He emphasizes the Christmas party setting as the decider.
• Pop Culture References
  • Jokes about the “tree presence” in Lethal Weapon and the never-ending debate about what counts as a holiday film.

3. Gift-Giving Philosophy

• Self-Sufficiency > Santa:
  • “I’m my own Santa Claus. Christmas for me is 24/7, 360 days a year… Tyrus wants something, he gets it.” (04:34)
  • Critique of Santa as a “socialist” spreading gifts equally, questioning the naughty/nice binary.
• Worst Gift Ever:
  • Tyrus insists the only bad gift is not getting what you want, but that’s a healthy lesson:
    • “I don’t think you should always get what you want for Christmas… So you set goals, appreciate what you get.” (12:16)
    • Warns against raising entitled kids.

4. Santa, Elves & Mall Santa Disdain

• Reluctance to Play Santa:
  • Rejects the “mall Santa” role:
    • “What about me looks like I’ve given up on life? …Nobody wants to be a mall Santa. It’s like nobody wants to be a bus driver.” (06:03)
• Tickle Monster Bit:
  • Swerves suggestions of holiday games:
    • “If I meet the tickle monster, I become the punch-you-in-the-face monster.” (05:13)
• Elf on a Shelf Gone Wrong:
  • Tyrus’s rough handling of “Elf on a Shelf”:
    • “Ended up being elf in a pot…tried to boil him, bake him, make him barbecue. I think elf in a bear trap was…” (13:37)

5. Holiday Food & Treats

• Eggnog:
  • The gang tries eggnog, nobody’s a fan:
    • “Why does it taste like that?” “Because it’s eggnog. No one drinks eggnog.” (02:23)
    • Tyrus prefers vodka.
• Favorite Cookies:
  • Tyrus: “Chocolate chip’s always everyone’s favorite.” (07:53)

6. Christmas Characters & A Christmas Carol

• Favorite Christmas Character:
  • Admits partiality for the “ghost of Christmas future” from A Christmas Carol:
    • “The giant 12-foot one who snatches you up. They could’ve shaved 45 minutes off the movie. Just: act right or you die tomorrow.” (08:58)
• Assigning Spirits to Fox News Colleagues:
  • Past: Gutfeld, Present: Hannity, Future: “You two sorry sons of bitches… Curious what your future’s gonna be after this show.” (11:02)

7. Humor, Office Banter & Absurdity

• Playful Roast of the Elves:
  • Constant ribbing about their costumes and roles (“You’re not even chair Santas. You’re literally elves.”) (06:07)
• Throwing Snowballs:
  • Simulated snowball fight, riffing on baseball teams (“We almost pitched as well as the Mets did in the playoffs this year.”) (10:22)
• Breaking the Fourth Wall:
  • Tyrus jokes about ending the show before “decision makers” see the chaos:
    • “We’re gathering people from around the building…what the hell is going on in here.” (14:23)

8. Standout Moments & Quotes

• On Christmas Overkill:
  • “Christmas is a big deal and it should be. I also think there’s a little too much gift-giving.” (02:45)
• On Eggnog:
  • “Why is it so thick?” (B, 02:32)
• Why He’s Not Santa:
  • “What about me looks like I’ve given up on life?” (06:03)
• On ‘Elf on the Shelf’:
  • “Elf on the shelf ended up being elf in a pot. Tried to boil him, bake them, barbecue…” (13:37)
• On Appreciating What You Get:
  • “I don’t think you should always get what you want for Christmas…so you can set goals and appreciate what you did get.” (12:16)
• On Absurd Banter:
  • “If a Build-A-Bear falls in the forest…” (13:21)
  • “Now if the two of you could take this box and get the hell out of my podcast, that would be phenomenal.” (15:35)

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On His Christmas Grumpiness:
  • “I don’t hate Christmas. I hate people during Christmas.” — Tyrus (01:34)
• On Santa:
  • “Santa Claus, if you really bring…it’s kind of a Socialist…” — Tyrus (04:41)
• On the Worst Gift:
  • “I don’t think you should always get what you want for Christmas.” — Tyrus (12:16)
• On Being His Own Santa:
  • “Tyrus wants something, he gets it. So because I work for my living, I don’t need Santa Claus.” — Tyrus (04:34)
• On Elf on the Shelf:
  • “Tried to boil him, bake them, he made it into barbecue, dangled over the toilet a few times…” — Tyrus (13:37)
• On A Christmas Carol:
  • “Just rich dude, giant skeleton shows up and says, act right or you die tomorrow.” — Tyrus (08:58)

Key Timestamps

• Opening Banter, Christmas Costumes — 00:08–01:00
• Eggnog Taste Test — 01:55–02:32
• Tyrus’s Take on Christmas and Family — 02:45–03:20
• Die Hard vs. Lethal Weapon Debate — 03:46–04:00
• Naughty List? Tyrus as His Own Santa — 04:11–04:41
• Mall Santa & Tickle Monster Riff — 05:05–06:30
• Holiday Cookies, Santa Wrestling Move — 07:14–07:53
• Favorite Christmas Characters — 08:13–09:20
• Assigning ‘Christmas Spirits’ to Colleagues — 11:00–11:41
• Worst Gift Ever Insight — 11:47–12:55
• Tyrus’s Elf on the Shelf Antics — 13:37–14:08
• Closing Banter and Wrap-Up — 14:15–16:19

Tone & Style

Lighthearted and irreverent; equal parts roast and holiday nostalgia. Tyrus’s wit keeps the conversation lively, punctuated by deadpan delivery and banter with the “elves,” who are in on the joke. The tone balances roast-like teasing with moments of genuine reflection.

Conclusion

This Planet Tyrus holiday episode is a hilarious, slightly chaotic take on Christmas, packed with quotable lines and unsentimental wisdom. Tyrus skewers holiday traditions while also revealing the meaningful (and absurd) moments he shares with his family and colleagues. For listeners who like their holiday specials with plenty of laughs and a touch of real talk, this episode delivers.

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year — Tyrus & the Planet Tyrus crew. (16:23)