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What it is. Welcome to Planet Tyrus. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not being very professional right now. See, I have my dad hat on right now. See, whenever my hat's forward, it was dad time. So I just got off the phone with my son, and we were FaceTiming, so I always turn my hat around. That way they know I'm focused on them. So let me get back to work. All right. Yep, there we go. Fun's over. Now it's game time. So my. My guest today is me, myself, and I again, and talking about different chapters in my life and not necessarily any particular order. Last time we did this, it was kind of an origin story, and I think we left off right when I was kind of finding out where I was going to be in life or where my position was and all that kind of stuff, I think. And I've been thinking a lot lately. I had my buddy Brett came on, and we talked a lot about growing up. And one of the things that I like, whenever you talk to friends or people who have. Who grew up in similar situations, I mean, everyone's. Everyone's got something. Everyone's got a scar, a bump, you know, no one grew up and had just a wonderful childhood. You know, I think you just hope that you have more sunshine than rain, you know, or considerably more sunshine and rain. But it's those tough times that define who you become. It's not I. In my opinion, and I'm not. Don't get it twisted. I ain't Tyrus Peterson by any stretch of the imagination. But in my. My experience, it seems the. The fertilizer or the roots is. The failures is the tough times. Those are the ones that define who you are, because it's your reaction that you're judged by. You know, it's your reaction that determines what happens. Doesn't mean whether it's your fault, not your fault. Something bad happens to you, and you have two choices. You accept what happens, and you go forward. Or, oh, no, no, check that. There's three things, and then there's the other thing where you just kind of wallow in it. And then the third thing is you just carry it with you forever. And the thing about when you carry a hurt, it grows and it connects to other things. It's really. It's really. It's like a mental cancer. Whereas, like, you hold on to the betrayal or whatever it was that hurt you when you were a kid. And I was thinking about that when I was talking to. To Brett, because we were talking a lot about growing up and stuff. And I, one of. I don't talk a lot about my personal life anyways, but when you kind of get to that, when you're trying to figure it out stage in life. And I always kind of look at it from what I did in my 30s, you know, I don't talk that much about what I did in my 20s because there's really not a lot of. There was a lot of almost and a lot of could have beens, but nothing really materialized. You know, I had some, some good jobs, but I didn't have careers. I really didn't have a passion for anything that I was doing. I wasn't getting up in the morning going, man, I'm so excited to be a bodyguard today, or man, I can't wait to bounce the club, you know, I didn't hate the life, but it also wasn't the life I wanted either. And, and I was trying to think when was it in my life that I was like actually feeling like I was kind of going on that right path. And I can honestly tell you, man, I don't probably not until my late 40s that I figured out that I was like, this is where I want to be, you know, like, this is what I'm, what I'm trying to do. And I think the biggest mistakes I made helped me get to that point of like, I'm all right, I'm good. You know, even when things don't go my way, I'm still all right. Like the, I've gotten to this point, I've. Wherever I've been, I've managed to move up, accelerate, prove to be talented, not just in like entertainment situations, but work situations. And so you start realizing you have skill sets. But when I think about when I was younger, I was just so angry all the time. I think that was the thing is I was angry, so I was a carrier. I carried everything with me because I never reacted to anything like my job. I made jokes with my mother whenever we were having tough times. And when I was younger, it was when she was dealing with the abuse of my biological father. It was like I try to pretend to be a character on TV or something, or trying to make my mom laugh, like doing like what little three year olds do. Like, you know, and when I got older, that's how I kind of, I made jokes out of everything. And that was, it was a little bit easier to swallow when things didn't go your way. If you could at least laugh about it, if you can laugh. And that's what I think I got really good at laughing about at myself, which I think when you can laugh at yourself, it's a tremendous gift because it can help you in moments of despair where you can be like, oh, this is rock bottom. I thought it would be darker, you know, and you just. You and you kind of stinger gives you a moment to be like, we're. We're still okay, and this is not where we want to be, but we're. We're going to be all right, and we need to make changes. So I was always upset about what I didn't have and didn't really focus on what I did have or what I did have going on. And especially with, like, positions where I thought I was going to be at in the world. You know, you make the football team and it's your first year ever playing football. In my. It was my first year playing football. I didn't start, so. But I thought I was more athletic than the guy that they had in front of me. But he had been playing football for, I don't know, five or six years or whatever. But instead of be like, hey, I made the team. The first time I tried out, I was like, oh, man, I made the team. And this co. I'm better than this guy. And this coach won't give me. He won't let me start because he likes the other guy better than me. So there's obviously something wrong with me. Like, it's just. You're carrying that. And then for me, I guess it was the rejection of having a horrible. A father, like a deadbeat dad or whatever you want to call it, abusive, all that stuff. And he was only in my life for a short time. He's only in my life for what, four years? And even that, you know, but that rejection, and then couple that with my mother trying to make changes in her life for the positive. And as an adult man, now I understand what she did, and she did do the right thing. But as a child, when your mother gives you up, that's not something that I think you ever really work through, or if there is, I'd love to know about it or how to do it, because you kind of carry that. That's two big rejections from the two most important people in your universe. Especially when you're young, there is nobody else. It's mom or dad or. Or whomever is raising you, or if you're. If you're lucky, like, and you have active grandparents and a huge aunts and uncles and older brothers and sisters and Even when there's problems, you can rally together and, you know, figure things out. But when you don't have anyone but those two people, and they both said, you know, we good. We have to, you know, we have to leave you behind to do whatever we need to do. My mother's situation was she left us so she could get the education that she could give us a good life. Biological father left because he was never there, if that, you know, that makes any sense. So you carry. I think I always carry that sense of rejection. And I didn't really start to see it until I had to start taking risks in life, like trying out for sports. And I would carry that fear of being afraid to try out. Now if you just bounce the ball in a, on a basketball court, in a park, I'd play all day, join every team, do whatever. Baseball, same thing. But the tryout was always. The scariest thing for me. Like, like lip quivering, worried about it. And, you know, if anyone talks to me, it was like, no, I'm good, I'm good. Because you were so worried about, I'm going to do my best out here and if they don't pick me, once again, I'm not good enough. And it's a thing that just kind of sits in the back of your head. Your mom didn't want you, your father didn't want you, grandparents didn't want you. Why would this, why would this baseball coach want you? Because you have this. I had this weird arrogance about me because I still thought I was special. I still thought I was. I don't even know where it came from, but I still thought I was worth it. So there's this yourself, like, basically, if I was an action figure in a toy store, I think I'm like a $35 toy. I'm an expensive toy. Like, you couldn't just walk in and buy me with your allowance where. But the people who don't want you, you're a 99 cent tour. You're in the bin. And so it was like I didn't want to risk my status of who I was because people see when you're rejected and then they ask you about it. So if you don't make the team, you know, the next day at school, hey, what happened? And then you got to explain that they didn't want you. So then you then go into all the reasons in your head why they don't want you. You can't just say, well, there was, you know, nine better guys that tried out and I'll get them Next year. That's a well adjusted person. A person who's carrying like I would carry that anger that hurt you just kind of there it now it's attached to. It went from parents to trying out for sports. In this case it was, it was the baseball team. And you try and I eventually get through the tryout and I make the team and you have this sense of relief, but you still, you still don't. It just, it just kind of moves on and it kind of goes away and then you're. You got through that thing and then the next time you have another opportunity where you have to risk a little more, it's back again and it affects you. And as you get older, as I got older, being able to do things like simple things like going up to a girl and asking her to go to a dance or something like that, couldn't do it because the fear of being told no or being rejected by another person was just something that I just didn't want to deal with. And so I wouldn't, was just not. I would make jokes. I was a funny guy. I would make, I would crack jokes and everyone would laugh and then I would, you know, then I get out of it. Dances. I would always be like, I don't go to dances, man. You know, and if I did go, it'd be like homies deep. I would always put myself in situations where I wouldn't be rejected. And when you're always worrying about being rejected, you're missing everything else that's going around you. You're missing opportunities. You're not also not enjoying the moment. Because even when you make it in the back of your head, you're thinking, the guy on the bench is going to try to take your spot, which he should be. But if you're. It's competition. But you don't think that way. You think, oh, if the coach doesn't like me, he's going to, he's going to do this to me. If the, if I strike out with bases loaded, the team's going to turn on me. Like, you just have this level of insecurity that's just in your head. It's just, you don't communicate it. You don't, you don't go to your mom and say, hey, I'm scared to try out boys at least. And all I can speak of is from a male perspective. I just didn't have it in me to say what I was afraid of. Because in me saying what I was afraid of in my mind meant that that stuff was was real. So I never wanted to admit what I was feeling in my head. I couldn't. I would not say it out loud, and I would act out. I would. I'd be more. I'd be physically aggressive to Pierre or somebody if they pushed me too hard. Like, I had some issues in that aspect of my life. And as I reflect on, you know, 51 years on this earth, when I think about where I was in. In my life when I kind of got into that position where I was out of college and I was chasing the NFL, but I was having to play arena ball and all this other kind of stuff, and. And trying to. Because if I made the NFL my life, I win. Like, that was my mindset. I win. All the people who said bad things about me, mom leaving me, but, you know, came back for me or whatever. But then she got remarried, and then that didn't work out, and I left home early. So it was like all the people that had doubted me or didn't want me, that was going to be the biggest you ever. And then when that didn't really work out the way that I thought it would, there was that moment of urgent depression is what I call it, where as a man, you, like, have to find something. So if you don't have anything, if you go from. You got a sports agent who's, you know, sending you messages from teams interested in you and tryout dates and all this other kind of stuff. And. And you're kind of a. And you're in that. You're in that athletic bubble when you go to clubs. Like, oh, man, that's that young kid. He's this. You get this level of respect and then that's gone. It's all. You don't. You didn't make it. Most. Most people would not be destroyed not making a professional football team. Because when you look at the numbers who have tried, just getting a look isn't. Is. Is an impressive thing. Getting a opportunity for a workout, impressive thing. Making a run. Those are all things that you should be proud of. But when you carry shit, everything gets attached to it. So now it's not just making the football team. It's like, if I don't make the football team, this proves my father. Right. That's my mother, right? Whatever friendship they were in my life, whatever job didn't want me anymore, you know, whatever rejection that it just continues, that it becomes. I used to call it my £400 gorilla. It would just sit on my shoulder and just build and build, and he would. And it would always come out in the worst places. You wouldn't do it publicly as privately. You know, your. Your girlfriend doesn't understand why you're always distant and quiet when you're not, you know, in public, because that's when you have to face you're that. That building amount of insecurity. And as men, we can't say like, hey, I'm insecure, so we have to over indulge whatever little successes we have. So I became a very good liar. I had a time machine. Also. I would make myself younger. You know, I'm like, I'm not 27 without a, you know, with a. With a teaching degree, substitute teaching with NFL tryouts pretty much dried up and gone. I'm actually 24, and I'm working on a deal right now with the Bears. I'm just not sure, you know, they're just not offering me enough money right now. So, you know, we'll figure it out. You know, me and my people will figure it out. And that's what I would. And that's what you would do, is you would continue to tell lies. But your lies were where you wanted to be. It was like your wishful thinking, bullshitting about where you want to be to people who probably didn't even give a. To be honest, they just wanted to get in the club or they just wanted to stand there. But you had to say, because they could go out to a club. I'm standing there dressed in black, making sure no one beats them up or pointing them to the direction of the bathroom is and reminding them that they can't take their drink out the building. I know it's a. It's a impressive, hot job, but you're the help. You're bouncing a club. You're part of the help. You're bigger, you're stronger than everybody else, typically, but you're still the help. And you can try to make it to where it's this glorious position, but if your goals were to be NFL legend and immortal and remembered for decades, this ain't it. So as that dream floats off into the. Into the atmosphere, and I don't have a dream to replace it, and I don't have anything to show for it. The insecurity just builds and builds. And I think I was an insecure, really insecure guy, probably from 18 to probably 32. I was just always, never where I wanted to be. Didn't know how to express it to the people that were around me. So I always pushed everybody away because then eventually see the real me. And the real me wasn't awesome at that point in my life. I was a former football player, a substitute teacher. I worked in clubs. I taught during the day, I worked clubs at night. I think I got. I think I was two payments behind on my drive time car. Like, I was just. It was. A lot of it was. But I wanted to be something so much more and didn't really know how to get there and made a lot of dumb choices. I took some penitentiary chances trying to become, in my mind, the inflated version of myself I was always supposed to be. I was supposed to be great. I was supposed to be talented. I was supposed to be all these things in my mind. And I would have moments where people would see it and say, you know, like when I was in drama class and I won Shakespeare festival or football or made a great play or baseball, hit a home run, whatever it. Whatever it was, it was these. Hit the. Hit a. Hit a big shot in a basketball game. Like, all those things, there would be glimpses of it, you know, and so people would ask the question, well, hey, one of the worst questions in the world, I used to get asked in clubs all the time, like, man, why the hell aren't you in the NFL? And then you make your. Then you hit them with your lie. It's either, you know, you start limping on your right knee. You're like, oh, man, you know, I had. Had a knee surgery, and I'm just rehabbing right now, and we'll figure it out. Or two, like, oh, man, you know, I'm just free agent, and they want to do the money. So I'm just kind of chilling right now. And when I look back on it, I think how pathetic. You're a bouncer in a club telling everybody you're in a contract negotiation with the NFL. For real, bro. But you. You just say whatever you can to try to, like, let them know that they're not better than me. I think that you're not better than me. Just because I'm bouncing in this club and you can afford to have drinks and. And dance and party, you're not better than me. I'm actually better than you. I'm doing this just. This is just temporary. This isn't who I am. This ain't my life. I'm just. This is just a stop for me. I'm on my way. And the rebuttal to that is, where's the bathroom, bro? And then you go, oh, it's over there. Thanks, man. Hey, you know what? I. Sometimes I go out you know, I might need a bodyguard sometime or something, man. You got a business card or anything? Now? I just told this guy that I'm waiting on a contract negotiation with the, I think Buffalo Bills or whoever. Bullshit I was saying that week now if I take his business card, I just told on myself because I should be like, oh man. Because it was like, I'm just my buddy, you know, my cousin, he runs his club so I'm just helping him out tonight, you know, I'm not, I'm not here, you know, I'm not even on payroll, man. I'm just chilling. And now he's offered me a job and I, and I need it desperately because I'm only making 20 bucks an hour for five hours at a club, you know, so bodyguarding is substantially more money. I could be charging this guy 100 bucks an hour at the time. But then that means I gotta like tell on myself. But you don't think that deep because you're not that deep. And you're still caught up in all your bullshit and your mind's clouded about where you thought you needed to be in life. And as a man, that's how you're judged. I mean, you could be the best looking dude, jacked or whatever, but if you look like you're unsuccessful, that's all, that's all that matters doesn't. It's where you are. What's your bank account? What kind of car do you drive? Can you provide for a woman? Do you own a house? Do you have credit? Is your pockets fat? What? Like those are things that matter to men and to women and society. A weak man doesn't really have a place at least in my mindset and what I was trying to do and what I wanted to do. And it becomes an obsession of, you know, to become the next level. I had to get to the next level. I could not be at the level I was at. I was a. You can't walk around with your chest out like an alp and want to be this alpha male. If you're not an alpha in anything in your life, you can't, you know, it's not about beating people up. That's always makes me laugh. Alpha male is not a guy who is good at fighting. That's not, has nothing to do with it. Alpha male is, is a man who is respected, who is admired, who is who people go to for help, who takes care of his family. That's a stand up guy who, that's an alpha male. Kicking somebody's ass just means You. You're. You're just. You're good. A chimpanzee can kick somebody's ass, you know, so beating somebody up doesn't really. Unless you're in boxing or UFC or wrestling, really doesn't have much of anything in terms of who you are as a man. So that doesn't work anymore. So I. I took. I. I did take the card because I needed the money. And then, of course, at some point, I did a couple. I did a couple. Worked a couple nights with this guy. Nothing spectacular, but at some point, I think it was. We were. I was driving him. We were going to. I think it was like Busta Rhymes album release party or something like that. When I was bouncing in Bodyguard in la, I was usually at all the parties. It was a guy named by the name of tk, who was. I think he was a choreographer, and he was Jerry Buss nephew, and I was his personal bodyguard. And he ran clubs all through la. And like, he. He literally would stand out front and be like, tell people who could come in and who couldn't come in. And it was based on how you looked and how you dressed. And he would be. He'd be breaking hearts and dudes be wanting to kill him, you know, especially if a guy had an outdated shirt on, he'd be like, nope, you ain't coming in. You got that shirt on. You're not getting in. And nobody wearing Adi Da shirts in my club. So that. That's how he was, you know, and he had this annoying little laugh. But I would stand right next to him while he would do this, and he wouldn't get with. So that's what I was good at. But I was plugged in with all the club scenes or whatever. So I was a good bodyguard to have, because if you were looking for bottle service and things like that, I had connects because I had various other guys I worked with. So I bodyguard for this guy for a few times. And finally, I think it was maybe the fourth time or third time I was with him. And we were going to this record album release party I was bringing him to with his date. He said to me, hey, man, whatever happened with the bills? What's going on with that? Because, you know, I. I'm a lawyer. I could look into it, you know, the contract or anything. I can help you out. And my heart just stopped because I was like, oh, this dude's calling me out on my. And I was like, oh, man, you know, my agents got all that, man. I appreciate it, boss, but, you know, We'll. I'm supposed to find out something next week. The next. Next time he called me to work, I didn't. I said I couldn't do it. And then he ended up getting with somebody else. So I threw away a good job because the truth of where I was in life was too scary for me to deal with. He had punctured my fantasy world that. That was the only thing keeping me from just being just miserable, like, not being able to accept the fact that there wasn't going to be any more football. And that's not the end of my life. It's not the end of my world. But in my mind it was, because that was the fastest way, and that was the only way that I was talked to growing up, is to make something of myself. No one ever said to me, like, hey, man, you're going to be a scientist, or you're going to be one of the funniest people on the planet, you know, or you're going to be a number one show and you're going to have this amazing wrestling career and this, that, whatever, and amazing wife and beautiful children. You're going to have all this. They don't. They're not telling you that. You don't see it. All you're hearing is, yo, you make it to the NFL, bro, you good. You know, and that was. That was the mindset. There was no one talking about being a scientist in my neighborhood. We were all focused on one thing. A couple of my buddies are going to make it to the NBA. I was going to make it to the NFL. We had a couple other buddies do this and that. And we're all 10 and 11, and we know what our path is because all the heroes that we have on TV all play sports. They never. You never see, like, a sprite commercial with a scientist on there, you know what I'm saying? Or. Or a lawyer or a doctor. That's not, you know, and I don't want to. I don't think it's just a. A race thing, but it seems a little more prevalent with most of our. In the black community. Most of our role models are either entertainers or athletes. And I think that's kind of a. That's kind of a problem because we don't put any focus or we don't invest in the other side of things. We don't have. We don't put our. Our scientists over. We don't put our doctors over, our inventors over, our lawyers over, you know, our school teachers over. We don't we don't put any emphasis on that as great, you know, or master carpenter or master plumber, things like that. That. Those are. Those are trades that will never, can never go away from you. Can never be taken away from you. You can always. You can. You can become a. You can become a millionaire being a master electrician or a plumber, or you can have your own business. You can. You can have your truck, your bills paid for, vacation home. You can have all those wonderful things. You have to work a little harder in a different way. But you just never thought of. I never thought of those things as options. And that's straight up ignorant. Like, for half my life, I was one of the dumbest mother you ever met. The worst part about me is I talked a lot. So that made it worse. Someone who could try to talk their way out everything. And I look back now when I see people who think they're smarter, especially with like, police and shit, when they're like, you know, I'll handle this, I'll handle. And they end up getting us all arrested. You know, like, you think you're so smart because you think what you're going through is the only book in town, and it's really not. And I was so afraid that I did not want to be outed for being a loser. Even though when I walked by the mirror every morning, I was looking at a loser and not a loser in the sense, like, I was a degenerate bastard. I'd given up. It had not. The NFL didn't happen. And I even didn't have the ability to be like, were you training hard enough? Was your attitude good enough? You know, like, were all your choices? Were you doing what you needed to do? Were you listening to your college coaches? Or you relying on your. Like, you didn't need. I didn't. It just was. Nope. NFL's out to get me or teams didn't like me. You know the dumb shit that you will tell yourself to normalize your failure instead of accepting it and be like, as long as I gave all I could, then I can accept that. And that comes with wisdom. Now I have. My mindset now is completely different. And just to want to chase something like that, you got to have a little dog in you. You just. You just have to be able to know when to re. Regroup and accept things for what they are and understand that sometimes you're not going to be good enough. It's just. It is what it is. There's always going to be somebody as good as. Or a little Better or a little less better, but good enough for the thing that you want. And when it happens in life, you got to move on from it. And that was something like I said, because I carried so much stuff for my life, not dealing with it, but I was a good bodyguard, really good bodyguard, maybe even a great bodyguard because I didn't mind being aggressive and mean to everybody. And when I say that is like most. Here's the thing. When you bodyguard for celebrities, it is very easy to get caught up in the celebrity because in a way, you become a celebrity if you're, if you're bodyguarding. I was bodyguarding for Snoop, right? One of the biggest household name, iconic American entertainers of all time. I would say everyone knows Snoop. I mean, he's like, it's funny because it's like he has 90 year old fans and 8 year old fans. And it's funny because I kind of have the same thing. I have my silver Foxes and then I got my, my little guys are always coming up to me. But it's because there's a little bit of you that touches everybody. Now, of course, Snoop's has been able to maintain it for a really long time, which is unique, but you get, you're a part of it. When you do the routes, you do the tours, you get treated a little better. NFL comes in and he's at a Steeler game and they're giving everybody jackets. Oh, can I give your bodyguards some stuff? So your bodyguards start getting stuff and then you start. And then next thing you know, you come in and there's people like, oh, can I get a picture? And I'll see the other bodyguards. Like, yeah, sure. I was always like, no, hell no. I'm working. And I think a little, a lot of it was, I was mad that I had to bodyguard for somebody else. Because when you bodyguarding for somebody else, that means they are higher on the important list in life than you are. Because if something goes down, it's your job to get in front of them and take the bullet. It's your job to get arrested. It's your job to, to hold their bag of weed for them. You know, when the police kick in the door in the hotel room, I'm just, I'm just throwing this shit out. I don't know any of this to be true. I'm just throwing examples. But you get very. And for me, I had a problem with that. I had a problem with the idea of somebody being less than. Like, I don't want to be. I want to be My own guy. I want to have my own things. I want to have my own career. I want to be my guy. And I learned a lot from Snoop, the way that he conducted himself. But I enjoyed being the bad guy. It was my thing. I had found my new niche was during the day, I was a funny smart ass with the kids, trying to teach them about history. And at night, I was the guy that was going to ruin your night. And I was perfectly fine with it because my night was already ruined because I'm working, standing up all night, watching him live his best life. And the Bodyguard is not just. It's not Hollywood like in the movies, where we just jump out and fight all the time and travel. It's, oh, I'm hungry. Go get me Popeyes. Oh, can you go get my laundry? Make sure the car has gas. Make sure my room is the way I want it. Make sure this is that. Because you're. You're a butler. You're. You're obviously there for protection. You're also a manager. You're in some cases, sometimes you're a psychiatrist. You're also the fall guy. So you're a lot of. There's a lot of hats that you wear as a bodyguard, and all of them are in service to someone else. And I just had a problem with that in my head. I wanted to be my own man. I wanted to be a man of principle and respect and success and. And so I used that. And that's the one gift I have is like the. I think the reason why I never went on. Went ever got addicted to drugs or into, like, crazy alcohol and things like that was because my need to prove people wrong, even though they weren't even judging me in some cases. But my. My need to be better than mine was, was my addiction. I was like, I am not. I can't just be one of his bodyguards. I have to be the bodyguard. So I'll work every shift, you know, I'll work 24 hours, you know, in some cases with traveling and stuff, and I won't get personal with the boss, you know, and it was funny because it ended up being. And being that way. He respected me more. You know, like, people ask me, like, hey, did you ever Snoop? Was Snoop with Snoop? Do you ever smoke with Snoop? No, I didn't. He was my boss. Absolutely not have. Being a high bodyguard. What the hell? What kind of. What kind of security is that? You know, someone breaks in the house and we're both sitting on the couch and I giggle. You got this one like, you know what I'm saying? It's just a bad. It's not going to work. It's not. It's not. That's not what it is. You. I'm no longer a bodyguard. I'm a fan. And we had, I even had to fire. We had to fire a bodyguard because of some dumb. And he probably wouldn't have got fired had it not been for me, because my facial reaction. So basically, Snoop's asleep, and he has his little man whenever he was in. In trouble with boss lady. Don't get it twisted. Boss lady ran the house. She was. You didn't want to mess with his wife. His wife. She could say two words and, you know, sweetest lady ever, but do not be on the wrong side of anything. And don't you lie to her, because you're done. You are done. And I'm telling you, bodyguards are big guys. And I have watched her take a dude seven feet tall and talk him down to about three and a half feet. And she liked me. And one of the reasons why she liked me, because I always smiled and said, yes, ma'. Am. I didn't debate nothing with her. And ironically, neither did. Neither did the boss. So he was smart. And as a married man now, I, I, I 1000% understand why. I get it. But he was sleeping in his little man cave, and I see one of the bodyguards get out of his car. He was a weird dude to begin with. Like, he, he had, like, he had, like, a skinny face and skinny arms, but his body was the most girth you had ever seen on a human being. Like a man. Like, it was just like, if you, if, if he sent you a picture, he'd be like, oh, that's a skinny, skinny guy. And even if he, like, flexed his arm, like, if he flexed, they should be like, oh, that guy's skinny. He probably should work out. And then it was just. It was just. And he loved wearing the brightest colors, orange shorts. And we're like, bruh, you look like, is this Halloween? Because you look like candy corn right now. Why are you. Please stop doing that. You know? But it was his thing. We're like, whatever. Here's the thing. If we ever got lost, airplanes could find us. We just got him in his bright orange shorts and shirt and stuff. So he, I see him grab a camera, and he's stepping out of his car with a camera because we used to sit. I sit in my truck on one side of the driveway, and the other bodyguard would be on the other side. So we'd be looking to see if anybody comes up or comes down. And I usually didn't do the night shift very often. I did in the beginning, but then I got to a point where I was doing stuff. I was coaching football with him and doing daytime stuff and traveling with him with Big Keys, Stephen Keys, long time. I think he's still bodyguards for him. Long time. Bodyguard and keys was off. This guy was in for him. And I see him step out of his car about. Sun's just coming up. I think it's like 5:30 in the morning in California. And I see him get out of the car with the camera. And so I hop out of my truck. I'm about 20ft, 20, 25ft. And I just kind of follow him. Like, I know this dude is not going to try to take a picture of our boss. I know he's not doing that. Why does he have a camera with him? Or maybe they had something worked out, I didn't know. And he goes walking in with the camera. He goes into the thing, and I'm slowly walking up, and I decide to knock on the door, knock on the door. I was like, hey, is everything all right now? Open the door. Snoop is like curled up, the blankets on, and he's like. He's got, like. You can tell, he's like half asleep. And big man's basically. Dude's asking him, you know, hey, my buddy of mine's a big fan. Is it okay if I get. If you and I take a picture and I could send it to him and this, that, whatever. And I just. There was no word said. I just stood in the doorway and. And I just kind of. And he just kind of gave me his. His eyes were like. Like this. And he kind of gave me the. And I was like, hey, man, we're not doing pictures today, bro. Like, come on, man, let the boss sleep. We got shit to do today. Let's go. Not doing pictures, man. And walked him out. And I. Maybe we took maybe 10, 10 steps and it was, send his ass home. And I was like, waiting for him to get in his car. And I was like, hey, bruh, take the rest of the day. You're good. And he was like, why? We still got four hours on shift. I'm like, take the rest of the day. You're good. And he said, oh, it was because you interrupted us taking a picture. And now he's. And now he's mad about it. And I was like, yeah, it was because I interrupted you. Had I not interrupted you? Your ass would still be going home. And I sent him home. I don't think we ever brought him back. I don't think he was ever brought back. But the point was, was like, I was. So I went back and I was just like, hey, sorry, boss. I can't believe that's on me. I shouldn't happen. He's like, how would the hell you know? You stopped it before it started. But. But in my mind, that was just the wildest thing, the most inappropriate, most feminine thing a man could do is to go into a man's bedroom, wake him up, and ask if he could take a picture with him. I never. That's one of the things. And that's the extreme of it, right? He was out of pocket. He was wrong for that. But then I'm so far the other way that I would never take pictures with anyone. And I have lived one of the craziest employment lives on the planet. I should have a photo album that is worth its weight in gold with just pictures of celebrities and moments and places I've been. But nope, Every time they'd ask a picture, I'm good. So because I wasn't comfortable where I was in my life, I wanted no record of it. So that's why when people hear me talk about and they'll be like, that motherfu, he didn't know him. Where's your pictures then? Where's your pictures then? Where's this then? And you have to look for media and press pictures of me, even in wwe, even all the clients I bodyguard, Other TV shows, the movies. I've done all the. I've worked with so many big stars and have met so many people in my life. But because I wasn't where I was at, I didn't want a record of it. So I didn't enjoy any of it. If anything, that burden on my back just got bigger and bigger because I was putting so much pressure on myself that I was a failure because I wasn't my own guy. I was a failure because I didn't have you money yet. And most of my. A lot of my things came from unrealistic places. And I think that's the part I look back now and I just kind of shake my head like, you were such an unhappy kid and you were such an unhappy young man, but you were doing really cool, amazing things and. And you got met some great opportunities, but you. It was always about what you didn't have or what you didn't have. And that was. That was the. I think that was the first chapter of my life was always paying homage to what I didn't have. Opposed to just enjoying the moment, you know, smell the flowers. I talk about that a lot. Constantly is like, I'm not saying you. You don't. And again, you don't be a dick and be bragging to everybody like, yo, I just got my own pocket. Check it out, yo, you don't. You don't want to be that guy. No one likes that guy. The only reason why they tolerate that guy is if that guy's got a lot of money and everyone has to work for him and he's on the other side of things, then everyone's like, oh, yeah, yeah, you are. You are cool. Because he has status. He has respect. People like, oh, man, I want to be paid like him, or I want to have the things that he has. And I wanted that type of respect. I wanted to people. Since I couldn't get my family to be proud of me, I wanted the world to be proud of me. And that's a pretty lofty expectation. Because if your base. If your family, your base doesn't want you, what. What would make you think that strangers would. And never ask myself that question. Never said, hey, in spite of not having all these things, you're playing college ball. In spite of not having all these things, you're traveling the world with a. A rapper. The rapper. The. He's not even a rapper. He's. He's just. He's like. He's like Black Willie Nelson. We just love him. You know what I'm saying? Like, just coolest boss ever, like, straight up. And I've had a lot of cool bosses, but he. He knows how to take the moment and then move on. I did not understand that because none of my moments were my moments in that particular point in my life. It was Snoop at the Grammys, and I just happened to be there. It was, you know, Snoop being invited to a big event and asked to speak. I'm just there. I'm. You know, I'm. And some guys just being there was enough for them. But for me, I was like, I. I could tell these jokes. I could do this stuff. I could do that movie. And I kept. Because I really believe that. And there also comes a point in your life where you also have to have a little bit of reality check to where, like, you might think you're a great singer, but then there's going to come a moment where people tell you you're not, or you start to realize that, hey, maybe I'm not. I Realized that, you know, once my phone stopped ringing for football and tryouts and stuff, I had to find something else, you know, and there was other things out there I just didn't know they were for me. Like I. Wrestling I loved my entire life. Like, I, I don't think I missed the Saturday WWE Superstars or NWA Saturday Night unless I was on a camping trip or something like that. Like, wrestling was my everything. Tuesday night Titans prime time wrestling. Sunday, NWA's main event. Like, fun. I, I did not miss Saturday night's main event. Was the, the greatest thing of my entire childhood, staying up to watch that and, but that was just something I never thought was going to be even in my radar of things to do. And when that opportunity came along, it was kind of a surreal moment because I just didn't think that wasn't I. That had never crossed my mind. I knew more about wrestling than probably just about anyone. Like, I was sick about it. And I had one of my best friends, Rico, he was sick about it. Like, we just, we, we'd have. Whenever there was a pay per view, you know, we'd go to the sports bar and watch it and, and he, he had actually. My buddy Rico had worked out with the Rock and he had worked out with Cena and he had worked out with other guys, like helping them get where they need to go. By a guy by the name of Chris Bore, who also was instrumental with me getting started in wrestling. But again, those just weren't. It was just something that didn't cross my mind and I started training down in Gold's gym with Rico and stuff. So you would see wrestling guys come in, actors, NFL guys would be coming in and out and then you see this big guy throwing weights around and they're just like, hey, what's up, man? Who do you play for? Ah. And then do I go into the Beautiful lie where I'm in between? Right now I'm a free agent. Thousand percent. Like, I don't know, boss. I'm just free agent right now. I'm just trying to figure it out because I needed to be important because I didn't feel important without having some sort of status, something that says I'm accepted and I'm really, I'm a successful man. That to me was more important than anything else. And then my buddy Rico one day says he texts me when I'm coming in, because I would, you know, would meet up at Gold's and then would work out. Then we'd go grab lunch in Venice and then we'd go head up. And then we'd work at Saddle Ranch at night. That's the club that or the rest, the big restaurant club that we ran security at. And so he's like, hey man, I want to introduce you to somebody. And he walks over and he introduces me to the Rock. And I was just like. And he said, hey, you know, he was real, you know, nice guy. He was like, hey, what's going on? He said, him and Rico clearly knew each other. So Rico wasn't full of hug, greeting, all that good stuff. Ask him how they're doing, blah, blah, blah. He introduces me and he's like, hey, Rock, this is my buddy Tyrus. And yeah, man, he's going to be working out. He's going to be doing. He's going to be wrestling just like you pretty soon. And I just was like, all the air came out of me because he. Rico didn't know what he did, but he just put Rock above me, even though he is like success wise at the time. 1,000% at that time. Yeah. And. But in my mind it took me. So the first thing I did was when he said, oh, yeah, he's, he's. He wants to become a wrestler too. And I just went and just smacked him, Smacked the taste out of his mouth. Didn't mean. I was just. It was just. He's like, he wants to be a wrestler too. And I just like, he's sorry. And. And Rock was just, all right. I was like. And I, I just walked off, you know, I had nowhere else to go. I was absolutely humiliated. And he left. Rico left the gym. I couldn't find him. I was trying to apologize to him, but he just left the gym. And then he called me. He says, if you ever put your big ass hands on me again, our friendship is over. He's like, what the is wrong with you? He's like, the Rock could have talked to you, gave you some advice. He clearly wanted to know you. I was like, no, I just. Man, you just made me look. You. Maybe the word. We didn't use the word thirsty back then, but it would have been thirsty. I was like, man, you just made me look like a. Like, oh, man, I want to be like you. And I just didn't, you know, I didn't. I didn't want that. So. But he was. He's like, man, you got a lot of things in your head right now and you need to just, bruh, just train. Just train. Like, use whatever it is you got. Whichever you're mad at the world or whatever, just use it. And I always think back to that moment, how what would have happened if I wouldn't have slapped him would have changed the timetable of anything. Would the Rock been a big influence? And it's ironic because we're connected now through my son. My son's grandfather is Haku or King Tonga or Ming, depending on. And he's, you know, he's a legend in the wrestling world. And of course, the Pacific islanders are, you know, wrestling royalty. So, you know, there is that connection. But it's just a weird thing when I look back and see how many cool things were happening in my life, but I was too miserable to enjoy any of it because I only could think about what I didn't have even. And I went to Snoop. We went to Australia on a tour of Perth. We're with Ice Cube, who's my favorite rapper. With Ice Cube, Bone Thugs In Harmony. And we're in. We're in Australia on a tour and we're Melbourne cup, and we're being flown in helicopters and we're enjoying. Supposed to be in, you know, this cool. This cool moment. And one of the nights of the concerts, one of the ones from Bone Thugs In Harmony, the one that always goes, bone, Bone, Bone. I always forget what his name is. He was so hammered that he missed his part of the concert. So he was the opening act. It was like, Bone Thugs in Harmony, Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg. It's a pretty good concert. And they went on without him. Bones did it without him. It was just harmony. There was no Bones. And he shows up. I mean, hammered. And I'm on the stage, and I'm the only thing between our dressing room and Snoop on stage. And this dude walks up the ladder. He could barely walk up this ladder. I see him staggering at first, and I see his manager behind him, pleading with him, like, trying to tug on him. And I. And whenever I move, that distracts Snoop, because if I move, he thinks something's happening because he's performing. And all of a sudden, Tyrus ain't there. Oh, shit. What's. What's going on? So he's doing his thing. I think it was dropping, like it's hot or something. And this dude's. I see him coming towards the stage and I'm like. And I go to stop him because it looks like he's getting ready to walk out on stage. So I go, hey, man. Hey, what are you doing, dude? What are you doing, Bone? And he was like, I'm ready, man. I'm ready. I got to do my song, baby. And I was like, you missed it. It's Snoop's on. It's the end of the night. And he's like, no, no, I'm doing a song with Snoop. And he was like. And he started singing boom, boom, boom, trying to get himself ready. And I was like, bro, y' all don't have a song together. You cannot be on the stage. And I turned and just kind of gave him a little nudge and like, you can't be on the stage. And he just kind of on the ground like, damn, I just killed one half of Bone Thug's harmony, you know? And his manager like, oh, thank God you got him. And. And I was like trying to help him out or whatever and get him down the, get him down the ladder. And I walked back out and Snoop just had his look like, the hell was that? And I was like, oh, man. And the guy was. Could not believe that he had missed his, his set. He basically didn't show up for his own show, so. But I was like, that was a funny moment. And again, didn't think about it, didn't enjoy. Was even more awkward because I didn't, I didn't really see him the rest of the tour, but then I ended up having to sit next to him on a 17 hour plane ride back where he kept looking at me, saying I reminded him of someone that I was like, bro, I was with you on all tour, man. He's like, nah, man. Like, man, like, you know when I got messed up and I was like trying to get on stage and it was like all these dudes grabbing me and stuff and, and I was just trying to tell them that I was sorry I was late and they pushed and I was like, yeah, man, it was a big group of guys. You gotta. I think security was just, you know, just trying to keep you safe and trying to keep Snoop safe, and I'm sure, you know, it was their best of intentions or whatever. And he's like, yeah, man, but I don't know, man, I just feel like they need to throw me on the ground. I was like, ah, well, you know, who knows about what? You never know what you're gonna do. But if I, if I see any of them sons of bitches on, if I see any on the plane, don't worry, we got him, dog. He's like, cool, you got me, man. I was like, all right, I got you. And just kind of those funny moments and I should have went back home and told jokes about it and. But I didn't you know, I just could never ever enjoy moments now when I think back and I'm reminded of that because that Australia tour is a book within itself of just all kinds of and. But you don't enjoy it if you're not good with yourself, if you're not okay with who you are on the inside. It doesn't matter what spectacular shit you have going on in your life. And like I said, I have, I kind of take the time now to look back and like, man, there was so many moments that I should have just took a little time to smell the flowers. I don't know if that would have changed my trajectory. I obviously have at this point accomplished my goals and I've proved to a lot of people who didn't think I had the mental ability, the quickness, the athleticism to excel and do things. You know, I was just always a guy that said he has tremendous talent, but he's a loose cannon. He's emotionally withdrawn, he's aggressive, he doesn't like to be told what to do, he's argumentative and he kind of has this I don't give a about what you're saying attitude. None of those are compliments. Those are horrible attributes to have. If you're going to try to have a successful career in anything because you have to work with other people, you have to accept other people's opinions. You have to be able to take criticism and not someone criticizes you. It's not them shanking you in the side with a carved up spoon in a prison. They're trying to. You might not like what you're hearing, but it's going to help you. Even if you disagree with it, you're recognizing something they're seeing in you and you can look back on it. You don't have to thank them for the criticism, but you also don't have to plot their death either. And my inability to deal with that stuff when I was bodyguarding, when I was wrestling was a little different. Once I got into wrestling, it was more of if I didn't like a storyline or something because it wasn't just about if the storyline didn't make sense to me or whatever. I also thought it didn't make me look great in front of the crowd. You know, I always thought there was ways to do things and when things I didn't like things or like opportunities, I always did whatever I was asked to do, even if I didn't like it. In wrestling, if you're told if, if Vince or, or triple or, or road Dog or Arn or whomever. Your. Your Dusty or whomever. Mike Rotundo, whoever your Ricky Steamboat, whoever, who, whoever your trend. Your agent is. Sorry, There you go. Whoever your agent is and they ask you and tell you to do something. I did it. That doesn't mean when I walked through the curtain, I didn't have to say about it, you know. And I kind of got to the point where that resting you face of mine became internationally known. I was infamous and the. The boys loved it, you know, because I was famous for things like, hey Tyrus, what's good? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And just kind of had this attitude all the time. When I didn't like the way things were going, I would just shut down and I just didn't want to participate. But apparently I would do it in entertaining ways to the boys that got a kick out of it. But it didn't help me. It didn't serve me. That's not how I was going to get ahead in the wwe. So that type of attitude hurt my growth a lot. I was able to ascend to really good things, but I had so much baggage. I carried so much with me that I would never. That stuff would never allow me to enjoy it and would never allow me to grow anything. I would get to a certain point, something would happen. And even if it's a set, whether it's a setback or they just decided like, hey, we want to go in this direction and whatever and so up. Nope, they. They did it to me. They did it on purpose. You know, they're hamstringing me. And then you go down this whole rabbit hole, you know, like, oh, they're racist. Oh, they hate me because I'm big. They hate me because I'm tattoos. They hate me because I'm funnier than them. They hate me because I'm stronger. Like you just start listing all the. But notice in all my things that I'm saying there's not one thing that I'm saying that I am the bad guy or that I'm the one with the issue. I'm the one that's perfect. I'm doing everything right. It's all these people that are conspiring against me. That in itself is insanity to when you can actually. The arrogant. The ignorant arrogance is what I call it. The ignorant arrogance that you have about yourself that you think that entire businesses sit around and discuss ways to you up. It's not just. It was a decision. You didn't win on this one. But there will be another opportunity. You can know or I don't like how this is but it's. I will make this work and I will do such a good job at it to that they know they can count on me no matter what the situation is. Nope. Those all would have been good ways to think and approach things. But when you're constantly adding the baggage is always hungry. It's always wanting more of you. It's always wanting to take more of your life. Your circle is smaller and smaller, but your baggage is bigger and. And I can't tell you it just. You have to have a moment. Well first you have to up. That's number one. And you will because you're carrying all this baggage and you're angry about not where you are in life. And as a man, you're frustrated, you're going to screw up. Usually in your relationship, you're going to say something bad, you're going to take it out on her or worse, you, you cheat or you start wanting to hang out with the boys more than spend time with your family or whatever the your deal is, it will come out. And that's the moment when you get hit in the mouth with life that you look and go like, man, what I don't know what I was doing. And for me, I think it was probably having kids and settling down and being in a stable marriage and. And things like that that made me kind of changed my perspective and. And. But I still struggle with it at times. And you know, there's. There are moments where I'm like frustrated, you know, thousand I'm a human being just like everyone else is. You know, the. You look at the success I've had. You look at the success of the Gutfeld shows. I, I read the comments and like, why doesn't say Gutfeld and Tyrus like you've been this, that, whatever. Why are you considered a guest? You're a co host, you know, and you. Those type of things 10 years ago would have bothered me and I guarantee you I would not be on the Gutfeld show anymore. I would have continued to go at him. I would have continued to try to show him up. I would have tried to make everyone else on the show look bad just by overdoing, you know, just going in on them, not working as a team on a show, but like just trying to show everybody it should be my name on there. And that doesn't serve you well. Same thing in the wwe. I didn't want to be the Funkosaurus. I didn't want to be bro. So I'd be brought as clay. So I do a little funkosaurus stuff to get in the ring. But once the ring, I'm going to do my thing and you get away with it for a while and eventually they're like this. You don't want to follow the plan. I don't know if you understand this, but there's a hundred thousand guys, some better, some not, some close, some there that we can slide in that would be happy to be here. You know, I'm irreplaceable. No, sorry, sorry. George Tyrus Murdoch, you are replaceable. And, and when you are replaced, it's not personal because you want to make it personal. Because if you make it personal, then it's not about you. It's about them. They didn't like you. And like, they like my tattoo, they were jealous of my tattoos, they're jealous of my hat, they're jealous I have a pretty wife. They're jealous because I have a cool truck. You tell yourself all this instead of be like, I failed or I was just a better man took the spot. There's nothing wrong with being bested. It's a part of life. You regroup, you figure it out. Rocky doesn't move, he doesn't work. If he just kicks Apollo Creed's ass all over the ring, it's a one off, done, never see it again. It wasn't even about winning. It was the commitment and getting there and meeting his goal. His goal was to not get knocked out, and he did that. He still lost, but he won with himself. And I, and I think a lot of us need to, especially young men. You need to look at the big picture and start. Stop being so focused on the guy in the mirror when something goes wrong. Unless you are going to honestly talk to yourself. And you can talk to yourself all day when you start answering back. That's the problem. That's when you got to get, you know, holler at a Dr. Drew or somebody. But you should talk to yourself. You should look yourself dead in the mirror. Especially when you're not meeting what your, your full capabilities and calling yourself out on stuff. You know, it's not, your wife cooks too much. It's not appetizers too big. It's, I'm overeating. You know, it's not something wrong with me because they made CM Punk champion and not me. It was his time. You know, it's just those things when you look back at how easily you could have made things. Not on edge or not, you're just a dick to be around because you Think everyone's out to get you instead of realizing that anything that happens wrong in your life 99% of the time is because of your reaction to something that happened to you, not anything anyone else did to you. We all want villains. We all want Darth Vader's because it takes the heat off us. I didn't fail. They stopped me. That's why we see all this bullshit about racism and all this stuff. It's so much easier on somebody's ego to say I didn't get the job because I'm black than to say I didn't get the job because I didn't have a great interview. I didn't get the job because otherwise the other person who was going for the job resume was better than mine. So I have to figure some things out or I'm gonna. I'm gonna reapply in three months or whatever. No, no, no. It's so much easier once you are able to own your shit and take this bag and just kind of go through it. Forgive the people you need to forgive. And it's not about what they do or you. It's not Kumbaya. Forgiveness is about you letting go of a hurt. It has nothing to do with you. Forgive for you, so you can let go. And it's the same thing with all that bullshit you carry. And I'm just. Again, I can't talk for women because I'm not one. I don't have their experiences. But for men who are trying to come up to try to be something, especially when you start from nothing, the best thing that you can do is be honest with yourself. Brutally honest with yourself. That would be. We're not. I don't need to do a coaching tip because I just did a coaching podcast. But that point in my life, I had some growing up to do. And the next time we do this, I'll talk about when I actually grew up. So nothing like, you know, becoming a grown ass man at 40. So that'll be fun to talk about. All right, y'. All, until next time.