News or Noise: KitKat Heists, Raining Money and Boar Chasing Robots | Planet Tyrus

Summary

Planet Tyrus – "News or Noise: KitKat Heists, Raining Money and Boar Chasing Robots"

Date: August 3, 2026
Host: Tyrus (with guest Harry)
Podcast: Planet Tyrus, Outkick

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Episode Overview

This lively episode centers around Tyrus’ signature blend of humor and sharp commentary as he participates in an inventive new segment called “News or Noise,” where co-host Harry challenges him to distinguish between bizarre news stories and total fabrications. The episode is packed with witty banter, fun storytelling, and Tyrus’ “straight talk” on everything from KitKat heists to boar-chasing robots. The episode’s tone is energetic, comedic, and welcoming, offering listeners both laughs and thought-provoking takes on quirky current events.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fan Art and Personal Updates

[00:00–01:50]

• Tyrus shares a story about receiving fan-made artwork while on tour, expressing genuine appreciation and humor about trying to ship it without paying $400 for the frame.
  • Quote: “As a guy who can’t paint or draw to save his life, we inspire a lot of artists.” (Tyrus, 00:04)
  • Reflects on how the podcast and community have inspired creative listeners and even sparked new business opportunities (e.g., commissioning artwork).

2. Introducing ‘News or Noise’

[02:02–02:24]

• Harry introduces a new segment where Tyrus must identify the real story among three outlandish news headlines.
  • Tyrus enthusiastically likens it to a game show, referencing Bob Barker and classic TV moments.

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Segment Breakdown: "News or Noise"

Round 1: KitKat Heist, Self-Driving Carts, and Squirrel Power Grids

[02:46–07:16]

• Stories:
  1. Self-driving grocery carts escape a store in Florida (false).
  2. International KitKat heist – 12 tons of chocolate stolen between Italy and Poland (true).
  3. Squirrel colony causes a Vermont power outage (false).
• Tyrus details his reasoning, ruling out squirrels living in colonies (“Squirrels typically don’t live in groups. They’re very mean to each other.” – Tyrus, 04:17)
• He doubts the plausibility of the grocery cart story due to logistical and behavioral reasons.
• Deduces that the KitKat heist, despite sounding insane, is the true story.
  • Quote: “God. They both have true elements and they both have bullshit. Okay, I’m just gonna roll with it. As crazy as it sounds, I’m gonna say the KitKat is true.” (Tyrus, 06:13)
• Result: Tyrus is correct, celebrates his deduction skills.
  • Memorable moment: “Deduction, dear Watson, deduction.” (Tyrus, 07:19)

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Round 2: Hog-Chasing Robot, Invisible Art Thief, Bigfoot Bandit

[07:23–11:11]

• Stories:
  1. Humanoid robot chasing wild boars in Poland (true).
  2. Invisible art thief steals an empty pedestal titled “the Void” from a Paris museum (false).
  3. Bigfoot steals ribs from a camper’s cooler in Washington (false).
• Tyrus analyzes Bigfoot logistics (“There should have been fingerprints everywhere, because nobody has ribs without barbecue sauce.” – 09:09)
• Dismisses invisible art theft as ludicrous.
• Agrees robots are ideal for chasing dangerous boars, discusses real-life wild boar dangers and the practical logic of automated intervention.
• Result: Correctly identifies the robot-boar story as true.
  • Notable stat: “3.8 million views on X that video got.” (Harry, 11:57)

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Round 3: Pizza Drone Hijack, Vampire Squid Swarm, Raining Life Savings

[12:17–17:10]

• Stories:
  1. Seattle hacker intercepts 15 pizza delivery drones (false).
  2. Vampire squid swarm follows fishing boats off Maine, allegedly mimicking navigation lights (false).
  3. Detroit man’s dying wish: family drops life savings from a helicopter over community (true).
• Tyrus dissects the plausibility of each, particularly focusing on biology and family incentives (“No family, no wife is going to take their life inheritance and let somebody just dump it.” – 16:12)
• Initially selects the squid story due to scientific plausibility, but is surprised when the raining money story is revealed to be true.
  • Memorable moment: “Wow. Really?” (Tyrus, 17:14)
  • Harry clarifies it was $5,000 dropped as a community gift.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On fan art and community:
  • "We're literally building businesses. We're making dreams come together." (Tyrus, 00:39)
• On shopping cart etiquette:
  • "If I see somebody in a parking lot not put their cart back... I don’t want to know that person because that just says a lot about them." (Tyrus, 06:02)
• On boar dangers:
  • "Boars are a real problem... Their tusks are unbelievable. You gotta hunt with like 12 dogs..." (Tyrus, 10:08)
• On standardized tests:
  • “In a multiple choice quiz, kids at home... you just gotta sort it out.” (Harry & Tyrus, 18:06)
  • “Do not do that, study. But again, I was on football... labs are really hard.” (Tyrus, 19:18)

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Standout Segments with Timestamps

• Fan art story: [00:00–01:50]
• Introduction of ‘News or Noise’ segment: [02:02–02:24]
• Round 1 (KitKat Heist): [02:46–07:16]
• Round 2 (Boar-Chasing Robot): [07:23–11:11]
• Round 3 (Raining Life Savings): [12:17–17:10]
• Discussion of deduction, test-taking strategy, and encouragement to youth: [17:50–19:30]
• Recognition of Harry’s new segment as a series fixture: [19:30–20:05]

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Summary & Takeaways

• The episode is a showcase for Tyrus’ deductive approach to news and his comedic perspective on the absurdity of modern headlines.
• "News or Noise" emerges as an engaging, recurring segment, highlighting both hosts’ abilities to entertain and inform with quirky stories and laughter.
• Woven throughout the gameshow banter are real-life stories, pop culture references, and moments where Tyrus reveals his grounded, pragmatic outlook and rapport with fans.

Final Thought:
A highly recommended listen for those seeking humor, unpredictable stories, and a unique lens on everyday headlines—complete with the wit and warmth Planet Tyrus is known for.

Transcript

[A]

Foreign. So before we start, I got a reveal from my tour, a little gift that was given to us at Planet Tyrus. Very excited about this. You know, it's amazing. As a guy who can't paint or draw to save his life, we inspire a lot of artists.

[B]

We do the horses. We drew the horses.

[A]

Yeah, well, we tried to draw horses.

[B]

Wait, did I tell you that my friend Anthony got a piece from Eduardo?

[A]

Did he?

[B]

He, like, reached out. He was like, I want Eduardo's contact. Like, I want him to commission a piece for my grandpa.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

So he got a piece for his grandpa.

[A]

So we're literally building businesses.

[B]

Literally building businesses.

[A]

We're making dreams come together. Yeah. And. And, you know, we need a drum set so we can start doing the big reveal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But how cool.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Is this?

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Is this not the most awesome thing ever?

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Like, I don't particularly like my face, but I like my face.

[B]

It's so crazy, you know? Oh, my God.

[A]

Right above the old Planet Tyrus right there.

[B]

That's crazy. We gotta frame it.

[A]

Yeah, you can get the frames at Michael's for, like, 15 bucks. This was in frame when they presented it to me, and I was like, awesome. And then Kevin, who opens for me and does the tour stuff, he went to ship it here, and the frame being shipped with the frame was like 400 bucks. To roll it up and put in a box was like 20. So the executive order was made by me. It just felt paying 400 to ship something that. I'm not saying that this isn't worth it, the artwork, but the frame. 400, 300, you know, for a frame. So I figured that the guy said, but I really like this. This is really cool. Accurate depiction of the belt and everything is really cool.

[B]

So I can't tell the difference. So while you were on your tour.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You missed out on some hard hitting news.

[A]

I did.

[B]

And people love hearing your takes on hard hitting news.

[A]

Well, I hope so. We're on a frigging podcast, so I have a segment. Oh, you have a segment.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This is what I'm talking about. Yeah. The boss was gone. You took the. The deer by the horns and you turn around, Harry. This is what I'm talking about. All right, Harry, let's go. I don't even know what we're doing. Let's just do it. Harry, it's your time. The floor is yours.

[B]

News or noise.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Bullseye or bull logic.

[A]

Okay. Bull chips, as they say in Utah. That's bull chips and o cheddar.

[B]

So I'm gonna give you three stories, okay? One of them is gonna be true and two are gonna be false.

[A]

Oh, this is like a game show.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We should get you that little microphone that they had back in the day.

[B]

I would love. Yes. The Price is Right.

[A]

Yeah. Very Bob Barkeris. Yeah, yeah. And please remember to spay neuter your animals. All right, Go.

[B]

Yep. The self driving grocery cart.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A supermarket in Florida debuted smart carts designed to follow customers via Bluetooth. However, a software glitch caused 40 carts to escape the store and form a synchronized convoy on Route 10. That's the first one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Second, the KitKat heist. A truck carried 12 tons of KitKat chocolates and they were stolen traveling from Italy to Poland. The shipment vanished without a trace.

[A]

The KitKat mystery.

[B]

Prompting an intention, an international investigation and a public tracker campaign to help locate the missing treats. Sweet treatment.

[A]

Hmm.

[B]

The third and final one, the squirrel power grid. A small town in Vermont lost power for three days after a squirrel reportedly organized a massive nesting colony inside a main transformer. Now, which one is true and what two are lies? I'm give them to you again. Okay, Is it a self driving grocery cart, B, KitKat heist or squirrel power grid? Which one is true?

[A]

Do I have a lifeline?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No. Okay, let's do this. Let's a process of elimination. Let's get rid of the lies first. I'll go with what I think I know to be true. Squirrels typically don't live in groups. They're very mean to each other. As a guy who feeds his animals and stuff, and I've put out, you know, corn and stuff for deer and squirrels. It's a lot of infighting, a lot of territories, and usually just two of them on a tree. So I'm gonna say that first one is that that one is. Is not accurate. Maybe one squirrel, but they said a nesting colony, so squirrels don't live in colonies, so I'm gonna say that one was untrue.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. And then let's see. Let's go with the Kit Kat thing that, you know, is for detectives. That should be pretty easy to find the culprits because there's. Wherever that's at. There should be an uptick in type 2 diabetes for that much chocolate. I mean, who needs two tons? Was it two tons of chocolate?

[B]

12.

[A]

12. Jesus.

[B]

Yeah, that's like one trip to the movies for me.

[A]

12 tons of chocolate put into a rig. But I thought rigs only held up to £6,000.

[B]

Also, keep in mind they're going from Italy to Poland.

[A]

You're right, that's a long drive. Is it a refrigerated truck? Well, you'd have to because you would have Kit Kat soup by the time it got there.

[B]

That sounds yummy.

[A]

I don't know I'm gonna say before I answer that one, the first one. One more time.

[B]

Self driving grocery cart. The ones that.

[A]

And 40 of them took off on the freeway. But they weren't following a person. If they were following a person, that would be awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm anti. I'm. Because you just imagine you're looking, they're still coming. They're still coming. Like the fly invade your house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have not seen any information about self driven carts. First of all, it's. I, as many people know, I judge people based on their cart behavior. If I see somebody in a parking lot not put their cart back in the cart rack, I don't want to know that person because that just says a lot about them, how they prepare themselves. And I think if someone is out designing, which is only 10ft, you know, or you know, depending on where you park, it's just a common courtesy and shows that your attention to detail and taking care of little things and accountability. So I'm going to say that one's false because you said 40. That would be a major story and be a lot of accidents, man. Now the squirrel thing maybe was just. All right, I'm definitely gonna say the KitKat thing's false. God. They both have true elements and they both have bullshit. Okay, I'm just gonna roll with it. As crazy as it sounds, I'm gonna say the KitKat is true, Squirrel's false and the cart's false.

[B]

That is correct.

[A]

Bam.

[B]

Wow, that was good.

[A]

Deduction. Dear Watson. Deduction. That's good.

[B]

All right, we'll see if we can stump you with this next one. All right, first story, a hog chasing robot, a humanoid robot was captured on video chasing a crowd of wild boars through a parking lot in Poland. I know what you're thinking. These aren't all from Poland. I know. There's a lot of Poland.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The high tech security measure was deployed to deter the animals from damaging cars and scaring local residents.

[A]

Boars are dangerous.

[B]

That's the first one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Second, the invisible art thief. A museum in Paris reported the theft of a conceptual sculpture titled the Void, which was essentially an empty pedestal. The thief was caught on camera walking out with his arms shaped as if he Was carrying a box. Security guards let him pass because they thought he wasn't carrying anything.

[A]

Basically had a cloaking device.

[B]

Third and final story of this round, the Bigfoot Bandit. A group of campers in Washington state captured grainy thermal footage of a massive hairy figure raiding their campsite at midnight. Might have to call Matt Moneymaker for that one.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, well, let's go with what we know.

[B]

Oh, and. And the figure allegedly didn't care about the. The equipment, the camping gear. He went right to the cooler and took a bunch of ribs.

[A]

He took ribs out of the cooler?

[B]

Yes. Which of these three? I'll give you the titles again. Hog Chasing robot, the Invisible art thief, or the Bigfoot Bandit? Which one is true?

[A]

Okay, well, let's go with what I don't think is true. A bigfoot coming on your camp, grabbing ribs. So there should have been fingerprints everywhere, because nobody has ribs without barbecue sauce. So I'm gonna. And then we would have factual fingerprints from a Bigfoot on a cooler. Plus, if he ate the. I'm sure he didn't eat him. Bones and all. I mean, what sophisticated Bigfoot would. I mean, there is some rules. So there'd be bite marks and dentions, like, all kinds of stuff the scientists could go nuts with. So none of that's being brought up. So I'm gonna say that's false off the top of my head now. The. The invisible thing is just ridiculous. So we know that's not true. So the boars. I do know boars are a real problem. They're people. Don't you know, they think of it. They think of, like, Charlotte's web or a little mini pig. No, boars are tough. Bears, wolves, think twice. But they got to be really hungry to go after a boar. Like, I think the only thing I know that is really good at taking boars down are Siberian tigers. That's the biggest cat in the world. So they are boars. Or any people who hunt you, you gotta hunt with, like, 12 dogs, you know, or you got to be really up a tree because those. Their tusks are unbelievable. And they're getting bigger and bigger. They're called. We got super hogs in Florida and Louisiana. So I'm gonna say base. And you would need a robot to chase after them, because if they turn and attack, a robot loses a leg or an arm or has his chest plate ripped out. You can just rebuild them. But a person chasing a hog is a really bad idea. Do not do it. If you see him, that's not the one. You take a picture with.

[B]

Right. Or a shopping cart.

[A]

Well, automated shopping cart. Maybe you can hop in it to get away.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Unless it starts following the boar, which is a whole other thing because then you end up going to the boar's lair where there's going to be. What? More boars. So that's a bad choice. So I'm going to say the boar is true and everything else is false.

[B]

Did you see this before? Did you see this list before?

[A]

I've been on tour. No, I have not.

[B]

Again, correct.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Also, that there's a video of the robot.

[A]

Can we link it up to the. During this episode or do we have the skills?

[B]

Yes. In post. We will throw up.

[A]

Awesome. Awesome.

[B]

It's really breathtaking footage.

[A]

Yeah. And so was my answers, I believe.

[B]

3.8 million views on X that video got.

[A]

Yeah, I can imagine. I have to look it up. Yeah. I'm spending less and less time on social media, so.

[B]

Smart.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's doom and doom. Scrolling.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Round three. All right, the third and final round. Since you've got the first two right, you're kind of in a safe spot here.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

First story. The pizza drone hijack. In a bizarre case of tech piracy, a hacker in Seattle managed to intercept 15 different pizza delivery drones. Those are a thing. You know that?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I've seen. I've seen the commercials for him. I. I don't think I want a drone at my door. But that's just me.

[B]

It did it all in one night.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Instead of stealing the food.

[A]

Well, you're sitting at a keyboard, so.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's not like he was running around catching himself. That would have been difficult.

[B]

That would have been difficult.

[A]

Yeah. Like a net.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He ain't doing that in one night. 15.

[B]

Like Santa. Santa can do all the houses in

[A]

one night, but he's Santa.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's got tech that we don't even can possibly imagine.

[B]

He travels in a different dimension.

[A]

Yep. Wormholes and whatnot.

[B]

All right, so there's that first story. Okay. Second, your favorite. Deep sea sea creatures. Deep sea sea creatures. Deep ocean squid. Deep in the. In the sea creatures. The vampire squid swarm. That's the title of this article. Fishermen off the coast of Maine reported a massive swarm of a rare vampire squid that began forming following their boats for miles. The creatures supposedly used bioluminescent tentacles to signal to each other.

[A]

Yep. They do do that.

[B]

In a coordinating pattern that mimicked the boat's navigation lights.

[A]

Yep. Local.

[B]

Local researchers claimed the squids were actually trying to communicate with the vessel's sonar system. That's the second, third and final story of this segment. Man's life savings dropped. Ready. A Detroit man's dying wish was fulfilled when his family dropped his life savings and rose petals from a helicopter over his community. The emotional gesture was meant to give back and spread joy, turning his final act into a viral moment for neighbors who rushed to collect the money. Is it one pizza drone hijack, two vampire squid or three man's life savings?

[A]

Okay, question. Is it possible that two things could be true in this one?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. All right. Humboldt squid hunt in packs and they are a terror because of. There's been an explosion in their population and they are coming up from. There are a lot of things coming up from deeper waters with the changing of the climate and which is a natural occurrence on this planet. They do use bio illuminance, but I think it's more to escape. They do change colors. All octopus and squids use cuddlefish I think are the most. They do a thing with like. They go like this and they hypnotize the crab. It's like, like. And then you're like oh, it's beautiful and you get bit. That could be true. The thing about the experts saying they're trying to communicate that's. That's a little weird. I don't know about that one. That kind of throws me off right there because they are communicating with each other. What they're probably following the ships for is they figured out these ships cast fish. So killer whales do it, sea lions do it, sharks do it. They follow the ships and the ships bring the nets in. They pick off the fish. So that could be true. But I'm gonna hold off on that one while I break down the other two. Fifteen drones. I know the drone pizza thing has. I thought it was drone Amazon packages. I didn't know it was drone pizza. I thought they had the little cars with the ovens and shit. So I'm gonna say that's false. And the third one was what again? Or second one?

[B]

Second one was the squid and third one was the man's life savings dropping.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think his family would honor that. I think his family would say that. But he's dead. So no one is. No family, no wife is going to take their life inheritance and let somebody just dump it. Unless he just. This had to be in England or some. There's. That's not in America.

[B]

This in Poland. Okay, I got it up.

[A]

Yeah, it can't. That's not American. There's no, no American woman's going to just let the life savings just go and kids are just going to be. Oh, yeah, that's fine.

[B]

It was Detroit.

[A]

Oh, it was Detroit. That's so. That's false. So I'm gonna go. I just don't like the communicating with the ship sonar. That was kind of silly, but I guess it's a hypothesis, a theory. So. All right, I'll go with the squid.

[B]

Incorrect.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

The life savings is.

[A]

Wow. Really?

[B]

Darryl Thomas was his name. Rest in peace, Daryl Thomas.

[A]

Well, how much were the. How much was it worth?

[B]

58. Passed away of Alzheimer's.

[A]

No, no, him. I mean, not him, but I'm just saying, like, how much money did he dump, was dumped?

[B]

It's $48. I don't know. It was like. It was all ones, though. I don't think it was. Well, 5k in cash.

[A]

5,000 in cash. Yeah, that's. I'm thinking this guy was worth something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Because there's no 5,000 then. If you would have said 5,000 in rose petals, I'd probably go with it because the squid one was close. But I don't think that any expert think they were communicating with sonar because sonar doesn't have light.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's why I thought it was a little bit iffy. But it's all right. I'm over 500. I'll take it. But you see what I did there? Kids at home, you deduct

[B]

multiple choice in a multiple choice quiz, Kids at home, the answer's all, it's there.

[A]

You just gotta sort it out.

[B]

It's always C. In a multiple choice question on the quiz, it's always C.

[A]

Kids at home always pick C. That is not accurate. Everyone knows It's B.

[B]

35% across the board, all quizzes, just

[A]

because I actually experienced this. So I was in college, my biology lab, and I had missed a lot of labs because of football and stuff. And basically to get a C in the class and stay eligible, I had to score a 60 on my 200 question final. And I didn't feel at this point I wasn't going to study. I had made up my mind, there's got to be at least 60 Bs on that thing with 200.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I took a line and went all the way down. The bees turn it in. The teacher looked at me, goes, are you kidding me? And I said, no, I'm good with it. And graded it on the spot and I got a C. Wow. Yep. And said, do not ever come back to my classroom again. I was like, see you around, man. I was out. But like. So I go with B. If you're. Again, do not do that study. But again, I was on football. I'd be on the road, you know, practice and stuff. And then the labs are really hard. And that's honestly why I stopped doing zoology and biology, just because of sports. And they're both just. They just took up. The labs are extensive and it's a lot of research and a lot of book reading and stuff. So I had to move on from it.

[B]

Thank you for joining for the first segment. First installment.

[A]

This was well done. Nice job here.

[B]

News or Noise?

[A]

Yeah, News or Noise. This is great. We got to keep this. We need a News or Noise banner. Like a opening. Like News or Noise. Like we need to have like something from tech.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Harry's News or Noise. This is yours. This is your segment.

[B]

Well, I think. Thank you for buying in and participating.

[A]

No, that was great. You can even do this with other guests.

[B]

Yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to.

[A]

This is a. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is fun. This is very cool. You should be proud of that.

[B]

Bullseye or Bull.

[A]

Did we trademark it though? So you can't use it anywhere else. I'm sorry. Don't worry about. We'll do it later. Okay, cool.

[B]

DM trademark.

[A]

Yep. That's very, very cool, Harry.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Nice job. It.