A (0:00)

I think sometimes as men, it's like when your love language is physical and you again. Oh, shit. Guess what I just did. I tried to make another excuse. That's why it's so hard to fight with yourself, to push yourself to own shit. And even you can sit there and say, hey, and I. You got to own it. You own it. It's not easy. Men can't be careless. What it is. Welcome to Planet Tyrus. This is Tyrus. One on one with myself trying dropping some knowledge or some wisdom on a very tough subject, which is understanding what forgiveness is and in my. And how I see things. And to young men out there, who. And myself and my own old. I'm not old yet, but I'm getting there. But men who have up in their relationships or are thinking about it or about to. I'm going to take you through a period of my life and where I'm at now and discuss the responsibility of being what. What we can see as an alpha male. So in relationships, whether it's your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend or whatever your situation is as a man, when you wrong them, when you. Let's just take the easiest thing that everyone kind of gets behind is you cheated, you stepped out on your woman or your girlfriend, and whatever your reasons may have been, like the relationship was this or she was that, or it was that or was a mistake, you know, whatever the case may be, obviously it was a mistake. Now I'm talking about remorseful men who are in. Who are in a committed relationship and love the person that they're with. They want to be a provider for them. And whether it's just frustration or the struggle of trying to put food on the table and be this, you know, and all these things that, that go with it and fallen short or the stresses of. Because being in a relationship is. Is hard, right? Because there. It's not. There's so many things that you look at the cost of living and what you're competing against in terms of like what success is. And for men, we are judged by our success. We are judged by our bank accounts. We're judged by our physical stature. We're judged by our accomplishments. And we're supposed to be strong. Alpha males are supposed to be strong. We're supposed to make the right decisions. And when we do mess up in life, screw up in life, we have to own it and you have to fix it. And that's an uncomfortable thing. And I struggled with it a lot in relationships. Now I could always fall back on. Well, I Didn't have a good family life. I was always alone. Have a hard time trusting people. I've been wrong. There's a million reasons why I could make excuses for stepping out on my wife or a girlfriend or whatever the situation was. But it was amazing that I never made those same or asked those same questions when I was getting into the relationship. So you get in a relationship and you're the man and you're. And it's. And you go through some hard times. Usually it's financial. Within my situation, it was going like I was in the wwe, doing everything was great, making all kinds of money. Was on the trajectory to be with a lifer. You know, I could work, I could talk, I could be a baby face a heel. I was creative, I understood. I always was told I had great psychology. And that was from guys like Arne Anderson, Dusty Rhodes, people I respected, that I worked with. And it bottomed out. I bottomed out. They went in a different direction and decided that I was expendable and they let you go. And that's for. And again, even talking about this, there's a part of me that keeps trying to make excuses. Well, you know, this and that. No, they just decided they wanted to move on from me. The people who make the decisions didn't think or at some point decided that I wasn't going to be anything more than what I was or whatever their reasons were. And I was never given a reason. And they don't have to give you a reason. And I was let go. And you go through a period in your life where you can again, you have all these stressors and all this shit and you have someone that's counting on you. And even worse, they have your children and they're counting on you, and it's not about what they do. And the worst thing in relationships is fighting over money, especially as a man. You're doing everything you can and you don't have a support system where you can call mom, be like, hey, we overspent this month and I need help with the electric bill or car payment or some shit, or can I hold? You know, it was either sink or swim, either I had it or I didn't have it. And a lot of times I would lie about what I would have because my ego would be so bruised. And I don't know how we develop this inflated ego. And it's really a detriment. Is a lot of young men this, when I mean by inflated ego, is like you think you're invincible. You think you have an Answer for everything. And you have no wisdom and no experience, and you get hit in the mouth for the first time and someone else is relying on you. You have someone that you and you again, you're in love with this person as best as you understand love. Like you want to be in this relationship and life is hard and it's never going to be easy, and you get hit with things and you can, you know, the stresses or whatever. And I could sit there and list all the reasons why I would have in the world to be an untrusting, miserable prick in a relationship, but you, I chose to be in him, so I really don't get to play that card. And I think that's the biggest thing, accountability. So you get into a situation where you're, you're financially not doing well, you're fighting all the time. She's worried about real things. She's not going to call you up in the morning and tell you how handsome you are if you're a week behind on the light bill or, you know, you have a car payment coming up and rent coming up and bookings were slow, so she's not going to call you up because she's, you know, the one trusting you to provide. And you're falling short, and you don't want to hear that. And I. And you're working hard, you're hustling, and you're doing everything you can and. But nothing's coming fast enough. And you don't have patience because you have to. You the person, your, Your woman is doing her part and you're falling short on your part. And that's, that's tough as a man to be like you. You talk a good game. Well, I'm gonna go wrestle in Japan. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do movies. And you're hustling, you're doing all these things and it's always like. It's like this. There's this great plague book, Raisin in the sun, where he had all these plans and all these ideas and nothing ever came to fruition. And it's kind of the same thing when you're even taking shortcuts and in some cases, penitentiary chances trying to come up because in your mind of the quick fix I just need to get, and then everything's going to be better. But in that mindset, you're not being honest with yourself, which is terrible. But worse, you're not being honest with the people that count on you. And then, of course, you go through some difficult times and everybody does and your woman is going to call you out on it. And that, and that's tough to hear and you don't want to hear it. And you do the stupidest shit you can possibly ever do is that you decide to get comfort or acknowledgement or acceptance or understanding from somebody who has no skin in the game. That is the biggest up fellas you will ever do. Because now you're creating a second problem and you are becoming worse because before you were just failing and you just needed to work harder or explain or be honest with your wife and, and girlfriend, whatever. And you can't do that because your ego and your pride as a man won't let you. And that's actually, that's not what it is. If it was ego and pride, you'd tell it like it is. It is your insecurity. You know, you don't want to get left for a guy who can provide more. So you and you. But you're bullshitting with somebody who's loves you and is counting on you. And again, I want to preface that regardless of whatever the other person did is irrelevant. Like the. This is. I'm just in. I'm talking about my experiences, my situations. And, and I, everywhere I go, it kind of echoes a lot. And a lot of dudes have been in this, in that situation. So you're dealing with the reality of a relationship, which is it takes work, sacrifice, honesty, integrity, accountability. All the things that mirror what an alpha male should be. Standup guy. But that's hard. That requires you to look inward, which requires you to look in the mirror and not blink at yourself and not making excuses and surrounding yourself with friends who everything you do they say is cool because you're a good time. You're their buddy now you. If you got a real friend who will tell you like it is. And I've been lucky. I've had. I've got some friends like that, but they also don't know unless you tell them or put it out there. And so. But it's very difficult to own this stuff. It's a challenge. And again, I've literally just had an excuse pop in my head while I'm talking about this. I'm uncomfortable talking about this. But I immediately think was like, well, if I had a father who was a role model, that excuse doesn't count because I should have said that in the relationship. Look, I have a bunch of family issues and I don't know if I can be a committed person or the first sign of trouble, I'm going to Fall into my shell and block myself off and blame the world. And you're going to have to deal with all that shit. Are you cool with that? And you're not going to. Nobody in their mind is going to say that on a first or second date. Hell, third wedding anniversary, you ain't going to say no dumb shit. And you get to the point where you're hiding everything from the person that depends on you. Loves you will be the word. And here's the thing. Maybe if you weren't so insecure and you told her exactly what was going on, she might have a solution. She might understand. And that seems to be a very tough thing. It was for me. So what do you end up doing? You start surrounding yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear. And you'll have strangers, other women telling you how cool you are and how funny you are and how amazing you are. They don't know you. They see you on TV and you're this big star, you know, and everyone's kissing your ass. But at home she's keeping it real. And you don't like that, so you spend less. And then you blame her for everything that's wrong because that's an easy thing. Well, she's a bitch. She's always on me. She doesn't respect what I do, she doesn't help me, she's not supportive. You will say all these excuses except what you're doing. And then eventually what starts out as just friends and buddies and it's just cool someone to talk to. But you're doing it in secret so you're already up, it's already cheating. And that's another thing is like men, because we're so physical we think if we don't sleep with them then it's, you know, it's just a friendship. But you never have that person around your relationship. So your ego is boosted and you kind of have this macho esque to you and a I don't give a attitude. And if she doesn't like what you're hearing at home, you just hang up the phone, make an excuse and go surround yourself with people who will tell you how great you are. And here's the thing, it's a crab and it's crabs in the bucket. They want you where you're at. And if you do have a light or something that can benefit them, of course they're going to kiss your ass. It's going good for them. But here's the thing. I'm telling you, if you are in A situation right now. If you're a man in a situation now who's going through a hard time in your relationship and you are thinking about talking to somebody else or particularly another woman, and I cannot tell you the best thing for you to do is to leave the relationship before you do that, because you are going to. And that's. And again, the only reason why you're there is because you're failing, right? And you don't want to hear the truth because the. And there's not my truth. There's not their truth. There's one truth you're not doing. You're not holding up your end of the bargain in the relationship. And that's hard for men to hear. So. And of course, it's so easy to blame the woman. And again, this isn't about tit for tat. This isn't about what anybody else. Listen, I've been wrong like everybody else has. You know, I've been. You name it, it's happened to me in a relationship. But it's not about them. It's about me and being accountable. When you're accountable, you. You can't fix the other person. You can't change another person. Only thing you do is you can change yourself. You can fix yourself, and you can own it, no matter what the response, whatever the situation is. So here you are. You are thinking about doing this, or you're doing it. And let's say you. You go full. You go full on, and you end up having an affair. And then. And it always, always, always, always, always comes out. Always comes out. Now, you might be able to get away with it for a year or two or whatever the situation is, but every day that you're doing this, you are tearing apart the person that loves you. You are tearing them apart. They. They don't sleep. They wonder where you are when they do talk to you. You're short. You're dismissive, because that's guilt. So you're not some guy. You're not Scarface on tv. You're just a weak man doing weak man shit to somebody that you loved. And you have a great origin story. How you met and how you courted her and how you did it all right? And then things got rough and you stepped out to feel better about yourself for what, 38, 45 seconds? And then it happens, right? You get your little moment of, oh, you feel good, you know, and as soon as it's over, I can tell you from my experiences that I couldn't get dressed fast enough. I couldn't shower fast enough. I couldn't wanna forget fast enough. Because once the initial adrenaline rush is done of what you've done, you're left with the consequences of what you've done to the person that you love. And you love them and it's. And it sounds so. How can you love somebody that you. Because I think sometimes as men it's like when you're love language is physical and you again. Oh, guess what I just did. I tried to make another excuse. See, that's why it's so hard to fight with yourself, to push yourself to own. And even you can sit there and say hey and I you got to own it. You own it. It's not easy because you're it. You're trying to protect your fragile little ego by trying to make excuses. There is no excuse, fellas. There's nothing. If you wronged and you up, you own it and you make it right now when that happens right and period in my lifetime it happened and it all came out and it was humiliating and embarrassing and the questions you know, do you love her? Do you? You know, what does she have that I don't have? Is she pretty? And here's the thing. They're never ever prettier than the person you're with because they're never. It's always just a what's closest a quick fix to feel better. You don't have to put much effort into it and you think by explaining that to the person that you. That you betrayed that that somehow is going to make them feel better. That like yeah, I was with a horrible person or whatever the hell the deal was and you think if you dumb it down it's going to make it better. It doesn't. It actually makes it worse. Don't try to sugarcoat or make yourself seem like the victim or you, you know, you have to own it and that and most of us can't. It's not an easy thing to do. Like before this thing, I was sitting here talking with the guys about it and I was like saying, you know, like we'll talk about something like every guy does, you know, like. Or makes a mistake and a relationship or whatever. And usually it's the men we it up. And I said we'll just go, I'll just talk about cheating. And. And the dude gave me a look like, gave me a little side eye like what the hell? And I started laughing. I was like, oh, but not you, not you. You've never, you know what I'm saying? But it's like One of the. Because it's an uncomfortable thing, you know, because every guy's like, well, it's not. No, I'm not going to do that. And you know what? I hope they don't. I hope if you, if you come across this and you as a man are sitting there and you're going through a tough time, I'm telling you right now, the worst thing you can do to yourself, your family, your friendships, is around and it's glorified. You have nicknames for it. It's fashionable. I'm a side chick. Like, it used to be breaking a home or stepping out on your wife socially was considered gross and a terrible thing. And people would. Reputations would be ruined and all that kind of stuff. And now it's like, oh, it's my truth. Or it's always somebody else's fault, or the victimization and the virtue signaling. And you just have to say that I was a piece of shit because I wasn't dealing with my stuff right. I was not being a man by any definition of what a man is. And own it. And then you'll get to a place if you really want change. You'll be a different person. You'll lose weight, you'll do better at your job, you'll be more consistent, you'll get things done. You'll start improving because you're. You're in a healthy mindset and you're working through it and you understand the hurt you caused. You've apologized, you've done everything you can. And then you'll come to a moment where you have forgiven yourself, which is so important. You cannot do any of this when you do make mistakes. We are human beings and life is long and you're gonna up if you're lucky. Life is long and you're going to make mistakes and you're going to do horrible things. Not on purpose. Whatever the situation is, you have to forgive yourself. Because forgiving yourself, one, you recognize what you did is wrong and that's the most important thing. And it's not. Well, you have to understand, or having said that, or blah, blah, blah. No, I did this wrong to the person that I cared deeply about. So much so that I had to keep it a secret. That doesn't make you a good dude. It makes you a liar and a cheat. And you have to own that. And you don't want to be that. And you have to fight in the way to change. And it's very uncomfortable. This is an uncomfortable conversation because the villain in this is right here or Yourself from whomever. So here you are. You've made mistakes. And let's say it's been some time. Let's say it's been a year, year and a half since you made your up or whatever your deal is, and you've truly moved past it and you've made. You've made changes in your life and you've done these things. And the frustrating thing is the person, your. Your wife or your girlfriend, they stayed with you through all of it. They loved you enough to stay with you, or worse, they felt like they had to stay. And that's horrible to think that they stay with you because financially or whatever the situation is, you provide for them and you have kids or whatever the deal is, or you own things together and they're like, unhappy, but they don't know. They still love you even though they're unhappy. So they stay. And then, lo and behold, you have done your inner work and you're a better person, but they don't see any of it. And every time something goes wrong in the relationship, even though you're a different dude and you've matured and you're doing the absolute best to be the best, best version of yourself you possibly can, but every time you walk out the door, they can't get over what you did. And you think the longer you get away from it, the less is present. But if they can't get past that hurt, what do you do? You know? And I can remember one time I was like, I have. I think I said something to the effect like, I. I have moved past that. I've owned what I've done wrong. I've done everything I can to make it right, and I've forgiven myself. And if you can't, then that's your problem. I always thought that was a fair thing, but it's not really, because you put this on them and now it's inconvenient for you because you want to move on. And of course you want to move on. Nobody wants to be reminded of the shit they did wrong, the mistakes they made, the hurt they caused. I think that's the hardest thing is hearing them relive the pain that you caused. And that's like razor blades on your fingernails, man. It's just. It's horrible to hear. And you don't want to hear it. And you're a man, so you get aggressive and you'd be like, hey, I don't want to hear this shit. Or like, hey, then leave me then, or whatever you say in that moment. To get out of the thing because your ego is crushed, your self esteem is being hammered because you're being reminded of the pain you've caused. The, the issue is, is that you and we unfortunately, and I didn't see at the time, you don't see that like they're still hurting from your, the results of what you've done. And I think you owe it to them to see it through. So that might mean like you don't get you in a health, in a healthy mindset in the ownership thing. You love this person, you've been, you've been together for a long time and they don't want to leave you, but they don't know if they love you anymore. They don't know if they can ever trust you again. But they also have a connection to you. You as a man owe it to them to be there for them, to be able be prepared to move on from you or to forgive you. And that is not. It's. I take it from me, there is nothing worse of a feeling of you've wronged the woman you love and you managed to stay together through it all. And you have some great triumph, some great like whatever. When you first you won the, you won, you got a promotion at work and you're so excited about what you did and they can't be excited for you anymore because they're hurt and they, and they resent you for being nonchalant about, you know, you're not still hurting. And so you get defensive and then you'll tell them like, well, you know what, I'm in a good place now. So if you can't respect that I've changed and I've moved on, then you know, maybe this isn't a good situation for us. And I think you can still say that, but you need to say it from a non confrontational position. You need to be able to. I think the one thing I have learned in my time on this planet is that it's not about you. And an alpha male is not about beating guys up at a bar. It's not about having super traps, although they are super. It's about owning it and taking care of the people that love you. And someone breaks in the house you would take a bullet for your wife or your girlfriend and someone you would take a bullet for. You can't allow them to figure it out because it's inconvenient, it's uncomfortable. Well, guess what? They lived inconvenient and uncomfortable the whole time you were pulling your. And they stayed so as a man, you got to eat it. It is your job, I think, and this is just my opinion. I'm sure. I'm not a psychiatrist. I don't. I just live on this. I think the right thing to do is do right by the person you've wronged, especially if they loved you enough to take your name. They loved you enough to only be with you. They loved you enough to move in with you. They've loved you enough to take the plunge with you and trust you. And like I said, we as men, we want to argue this toxic masculinity and all this and how we were attacked and all this stuff. Well, we still have to be a man. Nobody said it was going to be easy. You want to be the man. You want to be the alpha. You want to be respected. You got to earn it, maintain it. And you have to protect the people that you love. And the cold part is, is you think you got to protect him from some guy breaking in the house. No, you have to protect them from you and your impulses and your stupid. And that's tough. And it's not easy. The easy way is to just walk away, blame her, be at each other's throat every time you see each other. The kids got to deal with mom and dad, don't speak. Or one trashes the other one in front of the kids like that. That all because it was uncomfortable for you. Like everybody, when we talk about men are back and we talk about being a man, you have to understand what that actually means. A real man. Not. Not some punk or like, it's a. It's not about body count or how many women you conquered. It's about, did you raise your children? Were you a good husband, Were you fair? And I think. And redemption is a beautiful thing. Ladies and gentlemen, I have been so many things, good, bad, or indifferent, but I've never been a victim, and I've never. The hardest thing for me to do is to own. And it still is hard, is to own my wrongs. And it's an uncomfortable. It's like. It's like sitting on a bed of roses, man. It's just. Sucks. And you get mad and you get fed up and you're on the inside, but you have to remember, I would always. Whenever I would get a text message or a phone call, and hearing about something reminded them of something that I did wrong or hurt or. You immediately make it about you and how it makes you feel. But as a man, you need to realize this is a person that depends on you doesn't feel safe with you, doesn't trust you. And you have to accept that because you're the one who did it. And it's. And first you say, well, I'm not going to kiss nobody's ass. It's not about kissing anybody's ass. It's about knowing when to take the knee because you've wronged somebody and to give them that power back, their dignity back. To be a. What I. Alpha male or a real male, you have to lead by example. You have to own it. You have to. And it doesn't matter what you've done if you. It's about redemption. And maybe. Maybe that journey is ending. Maybe your marriage is going to end, but you don't have to be the guy who ruined it in the beginning. At the end, you don't have to be the same guy. Own it. You. You wanted her when you saw her. You fell in love with her. Whatever your origin story is, you moved heaven and earth to get her to want to be with you. And you. You made mistakes, and some of them were so hurtful that it has affected their entire outlook on life. I feel like you owe it to them to see, you know, love from afar. You should still provide. You shouldn't punish them with money. If you are the one who. If you're the bigger breadwinner, you know, it's a cop out when you're like, oh, she's trying to take my money. Maybe she is. She's raising your kids. Who should have. Who deserves it more. I just think that we have gotten to a point in this country with social media, where we try to justify every wrong we've committed with somebody else's wrong. And that's not what men do. It's what weak men do. That's what weak people do. And I always think about. And I'll leave you with this, one of my favorite movies, the Godfather. There's this great line at the end. Michael's sitting with his father, Don Corleone, and he says to him, men can't be careless. Women and children can be careless. Men, you can't. And that's real. You cannot be careless. It's a responsibility. It's a code. It's an honor. It's not about. Being loved by strangers, which is something that I have, you know, being in the entertainment world for as long as I have and have the rise that I've had and the many lives I've lived. And. And you can get so caught up in that. I'm telling, like, you Can. But it doesn't necessarily have to be on the grand scheme of being on television. Literally, this goes on in. In Chili's, across, like, every. It doesn't matter what your setting is. It's the same play. It's the same Shakespeare tragedy playing out. And so you can't use. You know, because I could. Oh, man. You don't understand what it's like in entertainment. And everybody wants a piece of you, and everyone's coming at you, and it's so hard. It's so hard. It's so hard. But you're a man. How's somebody making you do something you don't want to do? You're doing it because you're like, don't be a dog. Don't chase a tire. Chase your principles. Be different. Because I'm telling you right now, every man who stepped out on a good woman will never find it. You won't, unless you're able to fix it. And what. What I'm saying is, listen, if somebody. If she tells you, don't call me again, I hate you. I want a divorce. That's not a fixable situation. You need to respect her wishes and not fight it and find the best way you can to find common ground. It's not up to her. She's not the man we talk about. There's different roles and sexism, all stuff. The man has to fix it. The man has to make it right. A movie reference. Color purple, Danny Glover, Mr. Worst, worst bastard on two feet. He wronged Whoopi Goldberg the entire movie. And at the end, his life was shit until he made it right. She put the thing on him. Everything you ever done to him, he's gonna come back on you until you do right by me. You don't need the root. That's what they used. Jamaica. You don't. You don't need that, because that's actually how it works. Fix it before you leave it. Leave them in a better place. Even if you're like, I don't love them anymore. I don't have the feelings anymore. I've paid my dues. They don't give a shit. They're bitter. They talk shit all the time. They don't touch me when I walk in the room. They wish I wasn't there. All of that shit's probably true. Man up and fix it. And it might not be for your benefit. It's not going to be for your benefit. If. If she can't forgive you, that's. She has a right not to. You did it now when you start making excuses for why you did it and try to explain it, you just making shit worse. And look, it doesn't. You're going to deal with manipulation. You're going to deal with trying to drag it out emotionally, make it worse, or they. They keep adding on to things and. And all of a sudden, something that was like you had. You did something wrong with one person, all of a sudden it's a hundred. And every year it's expanded and. And there. But it's not your job to try to disprove how they feel. You have to accept it. And it. It's not. It is the hardest thing, one of the hardest things as a man you're ever going to have to do. But if you do it right, you own your mistakes. And if they want to go because of what you've done, you have to let them go. You should let them go, but you should leave it better than when you left, when you got there. And that's not easy to do because, remember, you got there, you fell in love. And she was so perfect, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. And then you up and you want to make it right. And she might. It might work out. It's a marathon, not a sprint. But here's the thing. There's no TikTok reel. There's no thing you can buy on social media that's going to make it come faster. It's about patience. And maybe you are living on the couch for a year, but she's still with you. She just doesn't want to touch you or talk to you because she's figuring out. And then you sit on that couch for the whole. And she comes to you and says, I don't want to do this anymore. Like, I can't get past it. I've. I want to leave. And your response needs to be. And again, not easy. Okay, whatever I can do. I'm sorry. Calling her names, being petty, threatening her with money. All of that only makes you look small. All of that makes you still weak. You're a man. A man takes care of his family. No one ever told me. And we get misconceptions. We get what it is to be a father, what it is to be a husband, what it is to be a boyfriend, what it is to be a standup guy, what it is to be a leader. We get misconceptions. There's nowhere in there in fatherhood, husbandhood, leadership that it says it's going to be all roses, bells and whistles, and everyone's going to love you and praise you, and when you make mistakes, they're going to be there and tell you it's okay because you're great. They thought all those things about you before. And for those men who do the work and they have a woman who's willing to move on from it or want to fix it, you just, you have to understand that regardless of where she, whether she stays or goes, you have to make it better for her. And I can already see the comments right now. There's going to be somebody telling me, well, what if she did this? It ain't about what she did. Listen, if she did you wrong, it's a different conversation. It's a different situation. And we'll have that because I've been on the side of that one too. But that's not about today. Today's about ownership and manning up and manning the up when you wrong somebody. The worst thing you can do is make excuses. The worst thing you do is rationalize it. You need to look at what you did just like it was like if you, if you did something horrible or you mutilated something and they're like, look what you did. Look at the results of your work. You will be a better man in the long run. It might not feel like it for a while. You might physically have to be bigger and better than your testosterone or your needs and wants. And that's again, none of this is easy. None of this is easy. You have your own insecurities, you have your own issues, your own fears. But you need to understand the where all this is coming from is you hurting the person that loves you to the point where they don't know what to do with you anymore. And you get impatient and you want to, you want to get past it. Of course, everybody wants to get past when they up. Nobody wants to dwell on that shit. But when you hurt other people, you have to allow them to figure it out. And it might not end well for you in terms of you really want to stay in the relationship or you want your wife to love you again or girlfriend to love you again or whatever your thing is, you might not get that back. But that doesn't mean they won't respect you. It doesn't mean that they eventually, at some point, after enough time, you run into each other. It's cordial. Because I think the responsibility of the man, not just in courting, in the beginning of the relationship, is to be the best you at the end of the relationship, no matter how much it hurts and fellas we're human, you're going to cry, you're going to mourn, you're going to be angry. You know, those are real human emotions. And no, I'm so tired of dudes like, I don't cry. I'm just saying, man, shut your ass up. You cry all the time. Like, you just. In life. If I can leave you with any wisdom, to any man out there, the greatest victories in your life, I think is overcoming your wrongs, your ups and your mistakes. The feeling of being different, the feeling of not needing those crutches and those things to feel better about yourself. You become a very powerful person. There's this thing. I remember this. And one time I was going through some stuff, and an older guy, I think I was at an airport or something, old guy on an airplane. And he started talking to me about life and something like that. And at first, man, I didn't want to hear it at all. I was like, I just want my headphones on. I want to go to sleep. And. And he started talking about what it is to be a man. It was like the weirdest situation. And he said, the hardest thing, like, family is everything. And. Protecting the ones you love when they don't love you is the greatest love. Because it's not about you. You it up, you fix it. And, you know, he. And I was like, oh, all right, cool. I didn't even know where to go with it. I just kind of, like, put my headphones on and went to sleep. But it always sat in my mind. The hardest thing you'll ever do, and the most rewarding thing you'll ever do is that when you've hurt someone you love and they loved you is to fix it and leave them better, even though they don't want you anymore. But you have to understand, the only reason why you got there was because you put it there. And again, some. There's always going to be people who say stuff. But here's a perfect example. If she did it to you and she forgave herself and she wanted to move on from it and you weren't, and she was like, that's not my problem, how would you feel? So the worst thing you can do, fellas, is bring other people into your relationship, fix your house. And if you can't fix your house, you put it up for sale and you leave. The way you went in with class, respect and loving. Like I said, loving from afar isn't fun. Making sure they have what they need isn't fun. And don't make it about you don't make it where you have to hand them the money or they have to come to you or that they spend time with you or whatever the situation is. Do the right thing. And who knows what could happen? You know, maybe you'll have a happy ending, maybe you won't, but at least you know that you did everything you could to. To make it right. And that is what it is to being a man, I think, in my humble opinion. So don't do it, fellas. And if you did do it, fix it, own it. Be better. Get help if you need to talk to somebody. But own it. And I'm telling you from a place of peace. That's the. That's the riddle. That was the one thing I was talking about. I kind of forgot. The. The. The guy on the plane, the thing he said at the end was like, once you find peace within yourself, your life moves slower but more effective. When you don't need approval from everybody. Because you good in here. Yeah. You're able to do amazing things. You're also able to get through things. And you gotta. Sometimes you gotta walk alone. Because here's the deal. If you. If you run in a gang with a bunch of people around you, you're a gangster. You walk alone. You're a monster. Think about that. You can handle any situation. And that's what we all want to do. That's what we want to be better. So wherever you're at in your relationship, listen to this podcast. Be the best you in spite of you. Enough said.