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- [00:00]
Commercial Narrator
This is an I Heart podcast.
- [00:02]
Lauren Lapkus
Guaranteed human.
- [00:04]
Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Resource with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy. Taking care of yourself can feel impossible. That's why Premier Protein Shakes are my go to. They have 30 grams of protein, 160 calories, no added sugar, and they taste amazing. So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make. And it's not just for fitness, it's for getting after life. Premier Protein powers me to say yes to more Find your favorite flavor@premiereprotein.com that's P R E M I E R protein.com introducing Taco Bell's new jalapeno citrus
- [00:43]
Lauren Lapkus
Salsa with bright citrus real red Jalapenos guajillo chiles Usually you add sauce to the food, but when the sauce is this good, the food is just there to get the sauce to your mouth. That rolled quesadilla? Not a rolled quesadilla anymore. Now it's a sauce shel level. Taco Bell's Jalapeno Citrus Salsa get it with any item on the Cantina Chicken menu while it's here. The participating U.S. taco Bell locations for a limited time only while supplies last contact store for availability.
- [01:11]
Danielle Fishel
When Kohler, global design leader and luxurious kitchen and bath products, asked me to be their ambassador for timeless, elegant, durable cast iron, I said, I'm in. Soon after, I was in their Kohler Wisconsin foundry watching molten iron poured, enamel applied by hand and the beautiful finished pieces ready to ship. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron has been crafted by incredible artisans and seeing it firsthand gave me a whole new appreciation for their craftsmanship. Now I am proud to lend my stamp of approval to my favorite Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and enduring style. Shop my curated pics@kohler.com as the Kohler Cast Iron Ambassador, I say long live cast iron. There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. Stand still. Not a chance. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we are here to help you keep going further. Capella University what can't you do? Visit Capella Edu to learn more. Hello, it's Danielle Fishel and I am here to talk treats. I take them serious and as you know, they can make or break a day. Whether you're looking for something on a hot afternoon, an after dinner treat, or just a little moment to make the day feel special, Johnny Pops is such an easy family favorite. Johnny Pops Frozen Treats are deliciously made with simple ingredients and no artificial dyes. Which means I love sharing them with my four and six year olds. And the flavor options run the gamut. Organic rainbow fruit stacks, chocolate fudge minis, chocolate dipped strawberry, organic cotton candy, you know, unicorn twist, and even some no sugar added options. And one of my favorite things about Johnny Pops is that not only are they delicious, they're full of joy. Every stick has a kind deed printed on it and that small moment can turn snack time into a little reminder that kindness is king. Jonny Pops are available in all your favorite stores. To find the store nearest you, visit J O N N Y p o p s.com Johnny Pops a better pop for a better world.
- [03:27]
Lauren Lapkus
Give me money for cigarettes I'll never leave your filthy bed. I stay the night and one night we can Two or three years. The kids are not all right, but that's okay cause no one here is take me.
- [03:49]
Danielle Fishel
Hello residents of Beat Street. Ooh, I like that one. I'll just put that one in my back pocket. It could stick. This is Teen Beat and I'm your host, Danielle Fishel, a now adult who was a then child watching her own teenage years pass by on a weekly national TV show airing in front of millions of strangers. And so now for a living, I sit with interesting people who have done interesting things to learn about their upbringings and the unavoidable bumpy roads to maturity we all encounter on or off camera. Because we all know that our past might not be identical, but it is always a roadmap for our present and our future. I experienced my awkward phases and pimple breakouts as part of ABC's TGIF lineup. So I see it like this. I gave you my childhood. It's time we hear yours. And this week, not only am I talking to one of the funniest people on the planet, she's one of my all time favorite humans on it too. You see, sometimes I have to pretend my guest is a friend. But really, we just met 30 seconds before we pressed the record button and only talked if they wanted to later. But today, she's a bestie. She's a podcast legend with way more than 10,000 hilarious hours available online. But you've also seen this improv master on shows like Good Girls, Crawl Show, Comedy Bang Bang, Orange Is the New Black, and the Big Bang Theory, and in movies like Between Two Ferns and Jurassic World. But most notably, she was the titular character in a Covid era comedy that Marlon Wayans just called the most underrated movie of all time. The wrong Missy. And now you'll see her in the brand new genre bending spinoff of the Big Bang Theory. Stewart fails to save the Universe. Debuting July 23rd on HBO Max. She can be Tracy Reardon or Ho Ho the Elf or Big sue or Todd or Whitney Pepys. But today she's my newest Teen Beat guest. Please say hello to a hilarious real life pal, Lauren Lapkins.
- [05:53]
Commercial Narrator
Oh, my gosh.
- [05:54]
Lauren Lapkus
That was such a nice intro. Thank you.
- [05:57]
Danielle Fishel
We like to really sweeten the pot.
- [06:00]
Lauren Lapkus
That was good. You know, that was actually like a very nice, you know, well rounded. Yes. Well rounded.
- [06:05]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [06:05]
Cal Penn
Good.
- [06:06]
Danielle Fishel
Well, you have quite an illustrious career. Lots of things to. Lots of things to cover. I feel like I have been looking forward to this episode for a long time, even since before I knew I had this podcast. I just have been excited to hear about what made Lauren Lapkis become Lauren Lapkis.
- [06:21]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, God.
- [06:21]
Danielle Fishel
So thank you for hanging out with me.
- [06:23]
Lauren Lapkus
Thank you for having me. I love this podcast. I am a listener and I highly enjoy it.
- [06:27]
Commercial Narrator
Thank you.
- [06:27]
Danielle Fishel
That really means a lot because you don't have a whole lot of time,
- [06:30]
Lauren Lapkus
you know, So I like to have one in my ear while I'm doing anything or playing with my children. Good. Smart, smart. Multitask.
- [06:37]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. That's how Jensen is. Jensen always is listening to something and I find I just crave silence any chance I get.
- [06:45]
Lauren Lapkus
Sometimes I want that car drive of like American Psycho just like nothing, right? Yeah.
- [06:52]
Danielle Fishel
So first, I know you were recently in Mexico City to promote your new show, Stuart Fails at Saving the Universe. And I wanted to ask you about your big night at cmll. The Incredible Lucha Wrestling Federation in Mexico. Can we say you've been converted into a wrestling fan?
- [07:09]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God. Well, I know you're a big fan and I loved. It was so fun. It was so theatrical.
- [07:15]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, yeah.
- [07:15]
Lauren Lapkus
I didn't really know what to expect. I've never been to, like, any, like, wwf.
- [07:20]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [07:20]
Lauren Lapkus
E. Thank you. I was doing it wrong.
- [07:22]
Danielle Fishel
I knew World Wildlife Federation is the WWF now. Yeah.
- [07:28]
Lauren Lapkus
They get into it. Oh, but it used to be f. When we were.
- [07:31]
Bowen Yang
It used to be.
- [07:31]
Danielle Fishel
And then. And then basically the World Wildlife foundation was like, hey, give us back our letters.
- [07:36]
Lauren Lapkus
Amazing. Okay. So when I was. I remember being in eighth grade and watching the Rock at my friend's house. I mean, that was like really. She was super into it and I. I got it a little bit then, but never really, like, got hook. But this was like, really fun. I mean, the audience was going insane. It was the loudest thing I'VE ever attended. Like, there. The women were amazing. That was almost my favorite part.
- [07:55]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, totally.
- [07:56]
Lauren Lapkus
They were just throwing themselves all over, and they fly out of the ring. I don't know how they're not injured. Like, I don't understand.
- [08:02]
Danielle Fishel
I think that every time I see someone go out of the ring, like, for some reason in the ring, even though I know it hurts in there too.
- [08:09]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [08:09]
Danielle Fishel
In the ring, I'm like, okay, so that's what that's made for. Out of the ring. That's not what that's made for. How are you landing on your shoulder?
- [08:19]
Lauren Lapkus
I don't know. And I also feel like this. I. Do you think Lucha libre is more comical than it is?
- [08:24]
Danielle Fishel
Definitely more hyperbolic. It's kind of like, oh, my God, you're gonna run into me.
- [08:31]
Lauren Lapkus
And then, like, we do a tumble and flip over each other and, like, never touch or whatever. And, like, it's kind of like circus. Yes, a little bit.
- [08:37]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, a little like circus. It's so much fun. Truly, what you just mentioned about it being loud and the crowd being so into it.
- [08:43]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [08:44]
Danielle Fishel
That's actually the thing that made me re. Fall in love with wrestling when I got back into it around 2017, is that I was enjoying the theatrics and the athleticism of what I was watching. But the fact that the audience is just as much of a character in the storyline with the chance and, like,
- [09:03]
Lauren Lapkus
who's the bad guy? Who's the good guy? They're all on the same page, and
- [09:06]
Danielle Fishel
everyone agrees and they know what to say. And, you know, the minute somebody holds up their hands, they. They know what chant to do. I loved all of that so much. So that's kind of the thing that hooks me, for sure.
- [09:18]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [09:18]
Danielle Fishel
I think people hear you on podcasts like threedom or Comedy Bang Bang and immediately wonder what you were like as a kid. Will you tell me about teenage Lauren Lapkins?
- [09:30]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [09:30]
Lauren Lapkus
Okay, so what do I do? High school, middle school? I guess it's all kind of the same. I mean, I feel like I got glasses when I was in second grade, which I think is important to note. So I had glasses for most of my childhood.
- [09:41]
Danielle Fishel
I love a child with glasses. It's the greatest thing.
- [09:44]
Lauren Lapkus
It's really cute. I mean, it's very cute. I think as that person, it's kind of, like, funny, right? Think of it, like, as, like, I'm in nerd, but, like, there is, like, a glasses thing. So it's my glasses always dirty or, like, you know, it wasn't like, Taking care of my glasses.
- [09:57]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [09:57]
Lauren Lapkus
It's hard for crooked or, like, so
- [09:59]
Danielle Fishel
take care of anything.
- [10:00]
Lauren Lapkus
So that's just to give you a little. And I always had crooked bangs, which maybe I still do.
- [10:04]
Danielle Fishel
Do you. Did you cut your own bangs?
- [10:06]
Lauren Lapkus
No. My mom would cut them sometime, and that would be like, they just. The scissors just going in a wave. I don't know. I cut my daughter's bangs now, and I do know how to do it with just going up. Oh, there's me. Oh, yeah.
- [10:19]
Danielle Fishel
You had white glasses yourself.
- [10:21]
Lauren Lapkus
Well, no, those are fake.
- [10:22]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, okay. I was. They are a little large for your face, but, boy, you're new.
- [10:28]
Lauren Lapkus
That's a cute picture.
- [10:29]
Danielle Fishel
That really looks like Holly.
- [10:31]
Lauren Lapkus
It does. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. I know my kids look a lot like me when I was little. So crazy. But I. You know, I got into, like, wanting to do plays when I was, like, fourth or fifth grade, and we had a local children's, like, community theater kind of stuff, and I did some plays. And so I did Beauty and the Beast, and I didn't get any, like, main part. They, like, wrote a part for me where I was, like, the mother wolf with, like, a little husband and a baby wolf. And then we kind of came out and did, like, a little bit of improv.
- [10:58]
Danielle Fishel
Really?
- [10:58]
Lauren Lapkus
We didn't really have, like, set things that we were saying every time.
- [11:01]
Bowen Yang
Right.
- [11:01]
Danielle Fishel
They made the role for you?
- [11:02]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, yeah. We kind of were, like, improvising, and then we would get laughs, and so it was very addictive. And I feel like that's how I started wanting to perform.
- [11:09]
Bowen Yang
Wow.
- [11:10]
Danielle Fishel
Wait. I would just like to comment on what a compliment it is that they were like, this. This girl will not fit into the box of one of the characters. But she's so creative. Let's not even give her a lot. We're just gonna let her say whatever she wants, and I bet it'll be good.
- [11:25]
Lauren Lapkus
That's. That is nice. Yeah, That's a nicer way to think of it. I was like, I didn't get any of the parts. Like, no.
- [11:30]
Danielle Fishel
They were like, we can't put this girl in a box. Create her own thing.
- [11:34]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. So I did that, and I. Then I started doing, like, you know, whatever plays. But then, like, you know, in high school, my dream was to, like, be in every play, and I didn't get into any play, so I was just, like, class clown, like, always making jokes, always talking in class.
- [11:47]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [11:48]
Lauren Lapkus
I started doing, like, improv in high school, and that's where I find. Found my voice more. But, like, it was, I think like class clown was kind of my identity for like, most of middle school, high school. Just like shouting something out, related to the subject.
- [12:01]
Danielle Fishel
Right, right.
- [12:01]
Lauren Lapkus
And then the teacher usually liked it too. So I feel like I never really got in trouble. It was always, like, funny enough that I skated by that.
- [12:07]
Danielle Fishel
That's great. I was always in trouble because I also couldn't stop talking. But none of the things I were saying were funny. And I was whispering to the person next to me. And so they were always just like, stop your whispering. I should have taken a cue from. From you for sure. When you say you started improv in high school, did they have. Did your high school have an improv class?
- [12:25]
Lauren Lapkus
We had. So we had like an improv company that was like, independent. And I got into that eventually. But I. I had a teacher who told me to take improv classes in Chicago. I grew up outside of Chicago in Evanston, Illinois. And he was like, you should take classes at Improv Olympic because they have no age limit. I think that was the reason because at Second City you had to be. You had to do teen classes. And he suggested that I just not do that, but go with the adults.
- [12:51]
Danielle Fishel
Wow.
- [12:51]
Lauren Lapkus
And so how old were you? I was a senior, so I was 18. But like, it was really. I mean, it was like that changed everything because once I was doing that, I didn't really. I had like a separate life.
- [13:01]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [13:02]
Lauren Lapkus
Which I, you know, I was meeting all these, these new people and I was nervous and I would like, just go to these classes with like 24 year olds and be like, well, I went to prom. Like, I just. I don't even know, like, what I was talking about. I feel like I had nothing to offer also. So I would get like, self conscious. Like, they don't want to hear my thing or like, I don't even know how to improvise because I only know what a teenager knows.
- [13:22]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [13:22]
Lauren Lapkus
But then that was really important for me because it showed me that, like, literally anyone is interesting and, like, everyone has something to say. And it's interesting that I'm 18, because they are not that anymore. And so they're like, what's your experience now? And so it's cool. It was like, it just changed everything for me and also gave me that confidence of, like, performing and not needing someone to say yes to me.
- [13:41]
Cal Penn
Yeah.
- [13:42]
Lauren Lapkus
Because I wouldn't get into the show. I got into, like, the sketch show every year, but I wouldn't get into, like, any play. And so I got. I was always crying about that and feeling so awful. But then it was like, oh, I have this other outlet, and I don't need that.
- [13:52]
Danielle Fishel
I mean, I'm so impressed by that because I was thinking about how that's kind of a little bit like a college situation where now you have your own life. But the difference is, like, you mentioned, and in college, everyone has the shared experience of, we're all here at this same college. We're all within three to four years of each other. You being in high school, freshly 18, with people in probably their 20s and 30s.
- [14:16]
Lauren Lapkus
There's, like, a lawyer there. You know, it's like, right, you have a job. Like, I'm just trying to, like, get better at public speaking, you know, whatever. Like, people were there for different reasons.
- [14:24]
Bowen Yang
Wow.
- [14:26]
Danielle Fishel
So were you always doing characters in your personal life as well? Like, did you have characters you went to for recurring bits with your family and friends?
- [14:35]
Lauren Lapkus
Definitely. And also, like, my mom, I look back at home videos, my mom would do that too. Like, my mom and her sisters would do characters like our home videos where, like, there being, like, a tattoo parlor person who's like, ah, I got a cigarette and I'm doing a tattoo. You know, whatever. It's like, all kind of funny stuff like that. So I'm like, oh, that's definitely where I'm getting that from. But I would do that a lot, and I would do voices in class a lot that were part of my. My speaking out. Got it. It's just anything my voice and whatever I wanted to say, it's probably add, but just let it out.
- [15:06]
Danielle Fishel
As long as you've turned it into a career, we're it. We're gonna keep it going. As someone who was on a sitcom as a teen in the 90s, I don't think encouraged enough to focus on their abilities to be funny. Yeah, we have talked a lot about the boys club that was Boy Meets World in my other podcast. What was it like in high school for you wanting to and expressing that you were funny and that you could have a career in comedy?
- [15:32]
Cal Penn
Did.
- [15:33]
Danielle Fishel
Did you ever feel either encouraged or discouraged?
- [15:36]
Lauren Lapkus
I felt encouraged. I felt like. But my only kind of north star was snl. I didn't really, like, even think about sitcoms or anything. I kind of didn't know how that would ever happen. I didn't understand how any was made. Right. So, like, I. I read books about SNL and I understood, like, the whole process for that.
- [15:52]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [15:53]
Lauren Lapkus
So I really wanted that. And so that was always my dream. But I think, you know, it was Amazing. Like, once I came to LA and kind of understood, like, oh, you can kind of do any. You can be in commercials. Like, things I didn't even get, like that those were actors. Like, I sort of like just didn't think about it past the first, you know, just watching a commercial.
- [16:09]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [16:09]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [16:10]
Danielle Fishel
I love. Oh, first of all, we. It's never too late. You still need to be on snl.
- [16:16]
Lauren Lapkus
Well, I mean, I'd love to.
- [16:19]
Danielle Fishel
Oh my gosh, Nobody.
- [16:21]
Lauren Lapkus
I tested. I had that experience. I got to go and do the whole thing. So, I mean, I feel like that also like fulfilled a lot of that, that desire, you know, I was like, I got there.
- [16:28]
Danielle Fishel
You got to scratch that itch.
- [16:29]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [16:30]
Danielle Fishel
Can I ask you what that experience is like?
- [16:32]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God, it was insane. It was so nerve wracking. I mean, it was the most nervous I've ever been by far. Because it's, it's, it's a dream that I had since I was like five. So like, then to be like, now I'm literally doing that thing. I feel like I was in like complete. Like I was just on autopilot by the time I was actually doing my audition because I had run it so many times in my hotel room. Like, I just going over and over because I was like, if I mess up, then I'll really be, yeah, then
- [16:54]
Danielle Fishel
I'm gonna kick myself.
- [16:55]
Lauren Lapkus
But like, I was able to like go over it so many times that almost like I don't even know what happened. Like, I remember being there and I remember going on the stage. Like, they have you wait in the dressing room for a long time, which is probably just building process. Yeah, the anxiety and just going like, can you handle it once you get on stage? I remember being on the stage, which was very cool. I could only see the camera in front of me and I couldn't see the audience. You know, you get a little bit of response, but they always say like, no one's gonna laugh. So, like, you're kind of ready for like tepid laughter. Yeah.
- [17:24]
Danielle Fishel
An occasional cricket.
- [17:27]
Lauren Lapkus
So there was like a little bit of laughter, you know, whatever. And then I left and I was just like, everyone went to get drinks and I was like, I have to go back to my room and just like, vomit. Yeah.
- [17:34]
Danielle Fishel
I don't even know how many do they ask you to just put together characters? How many do they want you to come up?
- [17:39]
Cal Penn
Yes.
- [17:39]
Lauren Lapkus
There's three minutes of like, I feel like there's like five characters and two impressions or something. Some version of those numbers. But but, yeah, it was clear.
- [17:46]
Danielle Fishel
Do you remember who you did an impression of?
- [17:48]
Lauren Lapkus
I did. Yes. Wait, I did one of the hosts of Hoarders. Okay. Very specific. I know. Too niche. And then I did the Maggie. Why can't I remember her name right now? The older woman from a Harry Potter. Oh, oh, Maggie Smith.
- [18:07]
Danielle Fishel
Maggie Smith.
- [18:07]
Cal Penn
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [18:08]
Commercial Narrator
Smith.
- [18:08]
Lauren Lapkus
We couldn't remember Smith.
- [18:10]
Danielle Fishel
Kyle was like, yes, of course, Maggie. Oh, I'll never remember.
- [18:13]
Lauren Lapkus
No, no, it's too hard. It's a very hard, um.
- [18:17]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [18:17]
Lauren Lapkus
And then a bunch of, like, original things. But it was. It was crazy. I remember we did like a. They had me. They flew me to New York to do, like, a showcase with an audience at first at the Pit theater. And the backstage, like, the wooden, you know, back to the stage had, like a little pinhole in it. And I looked through and could see Lorne Michaels in the audience.
- [18:34]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, my gosh.
- [18:35]
Cal Penn
It was like.
- [18:35]
Lauren Lapkus
I was like, there he is.
- [18:36]
Danielle Fishel
There he is. That's funny. Somebody put that pinhole there to be like, just sit him right where that pole is. Everyone will see him. It'll really terrorize everyone.
- [18:45]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, it was crazy. Crazy.
- [18:51]
Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Research with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy. Taking care of yourself can feel impossible. That's why Premier protein shakes are my go to. They have 30 grams of protein, 160 calories, no added sugar, and they taste amazing. So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make. It's not just for fitness. It's for getting after life. Premier Protein powers me to say yes to more. Find your favorite flavor@premierprotein.com that's P R E M I E R protein dot com.
- [19:29]
Cal Penn
Hey, everyone, it's Cal Penn, host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Divergent author Veronica Roth to talk about her sprawling new novel, Seek the Traitor's Son. It's a sci fi fantasy epic about two protagonists on opposite sides of a war and a prophecy neither of them wanted.
- [19:48]
Lauren Lapkus
My first book was Divergent, and when that came out, like, because it was so popular, I think it attracted, like, mostly positivity, but the negativity I sucked in like a sponge. And I think it was like, critiques of things I liked when I was like, you know, I was 23 and I wrote the. This book and it had all my, like, dorky little cheesy or maybe unrealistic loves in it. And I started to feel a lot of shame about those things. And so for the rest of my career, I steered away from those little things that like, make you feel pleasure when you read. But I also was like saying no to these parts of myself that I then was like, screw it. Yeah, so that's the this book.
- [20:32]
Cal Penn
Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello? Hello, this is Malcolm Glebel from Smart talks with IBM. Today. We're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari hp.
- [20:54]
Lauren Lapkus
Your pronunciation is it's strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.
- [21:00]
Cal Penn
I'm still working on rolling my R's, but what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi the Ferrari super fans in the digital age.
- [21:10]
Lauren Lapkus
Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team.
- [21:21]
Cal Penn
You've got Ferrari, which is a long history, design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.
- [21:34]
Lauren Lapkus
When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology. And digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans.
- [21:42]
Cal Penn
To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit IBM.com.
- [21:54]
Danielle Fishel
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- [22:57]
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- [24:03]
Danielle Fishel
Did you have any collections of things as a kid? I don't know why, but I take you as like a former collector.
- [24:08]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh my God, totally. I had a bunch. I collected everything. I had a pencil collection of unique pencils. I.
- [24:15]
Danielle Fishel
What makes a pencil unique? I'm just curious.
- [24:18]
Lauren Lapkus
What makes a pencil unique? A fun topper, you know.
- [24:20]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [24:21]
Lauren Lapkus
A topper. Colorful, you know, anything like that.
- [24:23]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [24:24]
Lauren Lapkus
I had them in a, in a planter in my room, like a pot with like gravel or something. Then I stuck them all in there. Cute. I had a collection of little rubber animals that are this big. And then I had a display at the library of them during the summer. I.
- [24:39]
Danielle Fishel
You wait, like a showcase? Like an art gallery? You had a gallery showing?
- [24:43]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, they had this little, like, you know, glass like box where people could put little displays. And I got my own display. And so of your little animals? Yeah, I stood them all up.
- [24:54]
Danielle Fishel
And where did you get these rubber animals?
- [24:56]
Lauren Lapkus
At the toy store. They were like 25 cents. My mom would always let me get one when we would go like as, like that's the thing you can get. And then I had like hundreds. I still have them. And I still have all my collections. I had Beanie babies. I have a huge box of Beanie babies. I collected American Girl dolls.
- [25:11]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [25:11]
Lauren Lapkus
I still have all the stuff. And you gave me two American Girl dolls that are now in rotation, which are amazing because they're the millennial. Yeah, they're so cute. So good. I had all the stuff I would buy also, like locally handmade American Girl doll clothes and, and like furniture. There was a store that would sell like things that people just made to sell for them. And so I bought, I saved all my Money. And I saved $100 and bought a. A handmade bunk bed for my American Girl dolls made by a veteran.
- [25:37]
Bowen Yang
Wow.
- [25:39]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, my gosh.
- [25:40]
Lauren Lapkus
You still have it? It's now my kids play with that. But I, I, I took very good care of all my things.
- [25:45]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [25:46]
Lauren Lapkus
And I, like, valued my collections. So, like, everything was, like, really well maintained. And I. It's all still, like, in great condition.
- [25:53]
Danielle Fishel
You and Jensen have that in common. Jensen also babied all of his stuff, but he does does have med. He is medicated for OCD.
- [26:02]
Lauren Lapkus
I probably. I've honestly gone into this on TikTok. I'm like. I'm like, it's quite possible.
- [26:07]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. It's quite possible that was a misdiagnosis, perhaps because maybe missed diagnosis. Yeah.
- [26:13]
Cal Penn
Yeah.
- [26:14]
Lauren Lapkus
There's still time and I'm still curious. Yeah. But I'm like, this would make sense because I. My shelves were pristine.
- [26:20]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. I mean, his toys, his books are pristine.
- [26:23]
Lauren Lapkus
I have my whole Playmobil collection and all of the pieces. I have my Playmobil dollhouse, which is a mansion. It's beautiful. And my mom's trying to get me to take it, but I'm like, I'm gonna have to ship it. I don't know how to do this right.
- [26:35]
Danielle Fishel
You're gonna need a U Haul.
- [26:36]
Lauren Lapkus
Just drive it just for that. It's like, I don't even have room for this thing. But I do love it. I don't want her to get rid of it.
- [26:41]
Danielle Fishel
No. Yeah. You have to keep it.
- [26:42]
Bowen Yang
I need it.
- [26:42]
Danielle Fishel
But I also don't know how to get it from you. Yeah. Does it bother you then? Are your kids also really careful with stuff? Because ours are not. And so Jensen's like, look at this. It's 45 years old from my childhood. And my kids are like, cool.
- [26:56]
Lauren Lapkus
No. And they're like, rip the tag off. I'm like, that tag has been on 40 years.
- [27:00]
Danielle Fishel
Princess Diabeenie Baby's Gonna Pay for your.
- [27:03]
Lauren Lapkus
Gave me one at one of my shows. I met Princess Diana when I was a kid.
- [27:08]
Danielle Fishel
I'm sorry. You really buried the lead here. Okay. Tell that. And then I want need to know how you met.
- [27:12]
Lauren Lapkus
When I was 10. So I grew up in Evanston, where Northwestern University is. And when I was 10 years old, Princess Diana came to our town to meet with the president. I don't know what they were doing, but she went to, like, some gala or something. And then she came to a street right near mine and was gonna be there. I don't know how we Knew. And she got out of the car, and we all shook her hand and took pictures. I didn't mean all my pictures were of her. I don't have, like, selfies or anything, because it was just, like, you know, disposable cameras and stuff. We didn't know how to do that.
- [27:39]
Cal Penn
No, no.
- [27:39]
Lauren Lapkus
But. And then I always was like, oh, there must be somewhere on, like, online, like, there must be some getty Image thing of, like, that moment. And someone did find one, but I wasn't in there. But it's, like, a crowd of people. But I was like, I'm sure there's somewhere. But we got to meet her. It was so exciting. My friend and I, like, shook her hand, and then we rode our bike around going. We shook her head, like, just screaming, like, forever. It was, like, so cool. She was wearing a mint green, like, suit with a skirt. You know, what do we call that? Skirt suit. Yeah. And it was, like, with some, I think, like, pearls or gold necklace or something. And she was very, very beautiful. It was amazing. So cool.
- [28:16]
Danielle Fishel
I mean, this is not. Not a positive story, but I. I will. I remember exactly the moment where I was when I found out. Yes. She died.
- [28:24]
Lauren Lapkus
Me, too. I remember. Yeah.
- [28:25]
Danielle Fishel
And it was like, I didn't realize how important she had been.
- [28:29]
Commercial Narrator
Yes.
- [28:29]
Lauren Lapkus
To me. I told you.
- [28:31]
Danielle Fishel
And then I was like, wait a minute. I can't believe this. It's shocking.
- [28:34]
Lauren Lapkus
I feel like, that age, too, where it's like, you are going like, oh, my God, that could just happen. Like, that's so crazy. Yeah. It was really shocking. And so. And I remember it was not long after that that that happened. So I remember standing in my TV room watching that on the news, but.
- [28:47]
Danielle Fishel
So someone just gave you a Princess Diana Beanie Baby?
- [28:49]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, just the other day. And it has the tag. And I mean, you know, of course, online, they're listed for, like, thousands of dollars on ebay, but nobody's buying it. Correct.
- [28:57]
Danielle Fishel
I could list this piece of paper for $10,000 if I wanted.
- [29:00]
Lauren Lapkus
No, it says, like, 16,000. I mean, it's not worth that.
- [29:03]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [29:03]
Lauren Lapkus
But I'm not letting my kids touch it.
- [29:04]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [29:05]
Lauren Lapkus
Good.
- [29:05]
Danielle Fishel
Okay. Yeah. It's not worth it.
- [29:07]
Lauren Lapkus
They're gonna rip the tag off immediately. Like, it's just like. No, no.
- [29:10]
Danielle Fishel
Not worth it. No, for sure.
- [29:11]
Lauren Lapkus
And I do have ocd. What?
- [29:14]
Danielle Fishel
I have diagnosed you. Yeah. Tell me about your boy situation. As a God.
- [29:21]
Lauren Lapkus
I kn. This is, though. That was the hardest part of my life, I would say. That was like my. My turmoil.
- [29:29]
Danielle Fishel
Teen boys. Yeah. They're pretty.
- [29:31]
Lauren Lapkus
I always pick the worst person to like. So, like, and I. I look back and I'm like, that must have been like, self preservation or something. Like, it'll never happen. Like, you pick like, the most popular or, like, the meanest or just like. Yeah, the dumbest.
- [29:45]
Cal Penn
Always.
- [29:45]
Lauren Lapkus
Always. So anybody who I had a crush on who was aware of it, you're dumb, mean and stupid.
- [29:51]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. Or like, incredibly. Okay.
- [29:59]
Lauren Lapkus
You're the hottest.
- [30:00]
Danielle Fishel
You were like, hottest guy. You were probably also the dumbest.
- [30:05]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. So I always, like, liked a dumb guy. And then I was. I would get obsessed with them.
- [30:09]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [30:09]
Lauren Lapkus
And nothing would happen beyond that. But it was all up here.
- [30:13]
Commercial Narrator
Okay.
- [30:14]
Lauren Lapkus
And then in high school, that continued and I would, like, sometimes drive by their house. You know, that was always a fun activity with friends to go drive by every guy's house that we like or whatever and just see if can see them through the window.
- [30:27]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, yeah.
- [30:27]
Lauren Lapkus
Just normal stuff.
- [30:29]
Danielle Fishel
Exactly.
- [30:29]
Lauren Lapkus
We didn't have Instagram to, like, stalk people.
- [30:31]
Danielle Fishel
You were looking to take his Wikipedia photo.
- [30:33]
Lauren Lapkus
I mean. Yes. It was like, perfect Blur blurred through
- [30:36]
Danielle Fishel
a window while he's washing the dishes. Yeah.
- [30:40]
Lauren Lapkus
So that was always cool and very cool of me to do. And then I did get a boyfriend eventually. I had a boyfriend when I was a senior.
- [30:48]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. Right around the time you started improv.
- [30:50]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all coming together for me. And I finally dated, like, a friend where it was like, I understood, like, oh, you're supposed to pick the person who's like, who you get along with and you like. And you're wanting to be around you.
- [31:03]
Bowen Yang
Oh.
- [31:03]
Lauren Lapkus
Already hang out all the time. And he's cute.
- [31:05]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [31:05]
Lauren Lapkus
That's the person I'm supposed to be like. But I feel like I was always basing it off tv. Like, I watched so much TV that it was totally embedded. Like, those sort of things where it's like you pine for this person and maybe they'll like you and that's how you date them. And like, I don't know. So I was always doing something like. Like trying to get on the phone with somebody. Something embarrassing. There's a lot of embarrassing stories where, like, there was a guy from my math class where I was like, I don't know how I ended up getting. We exchanged numbers or something. And then like, I called him and it was super awkward. This was like. And I was a sophomore and it was. I was like, do you play soccer? Like, I don't know what I was.
- [31:41]
Danielle Fishel
Did you think he played soccer?
- [31:43]
Lauren Lapkus
I think I was like, how's soccer? Or, like, something, you know.
- [31:45]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [31:45]
Bowen Yang
Okay.
- [31:47]
Lauren Lapkus
But then I heard people laughing in the background where I actually think it was somebody I knew who was there too. But, yeah, stuff like that. Brutal. Brutal.
- [31:55]
Danielle Fishel
Do you remember having to talk to parents first before?
- [31:58]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, yes. Having to call and ask.
- [32:00]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [32:00]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God. I remember calling for somebody and being like. And then they were like, he's at home. And I was like, okay, tell him I called.
- [32:08]
Danielle Fishel
I'll just call back later.
- [32:09]
Lauren Lapkus
I once left a note on a guy's car. This was like. So we. My friends and I would do something that we thought was really cute, which was, like. Which is kind of cute. We'd leave flowers on strangers cars as well. Like, a thing to do. Like, oh, it's so fun. And then I would leave notes sometimes. So I left a note on his car asking to, like, go watch the fireworks together for 4th of July or something. And then I learned he was out of town for, like, the whole summer.
- [32:31]
Danielle Fishel
He's like, I'm in the Hamptons.
- [32:32]
Lauren Lapkus
It was, like, soaking wet and, like, disintegrating. And I was like, he's never gonna call me. Really sad. Lame.
- [32:39]
Danielle Fishel
Did you go to school dances?
- [32:41]
Commercial Narrator
Yes.
- [32:42]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God. I went to all of them. Torture. I mean, so middle school. I went to all the dances, which were awful. I mean, I think we had. Oh, my God.
- [32:49]
Danielle Fishel
Did we have middle school dances? And I just don't remember.
- [32:51]
Bowen Yang
Busy.
- [32:52]
Lauren Lapkus
No. Like, you might have been working. Like, I feel like we were. I had my limited two outfits. Oh, I loved limited to purple velour bell bottoms.
- [33:02]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, velour bell bottom.
- [33:06]
Lauren Lapkus
I had, like, real. What I thought were really cool, like, shiny, like, pleather sneakers that were, like. What's airwalks or something? Those were so.
- [33:15]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. I call those puffy shoes.
- [33:16]
Lauren Lapkus
Those were. Yes. And they had, like, a star on the side or something. I love those. I always. Yeah, I love my limited two stuff. And I would stand there and just stand there.
- [33:27]
Danielle Fishel
Did you go with friends or did your parents drop you off alone?
- [33:30]
Lauren Lapkus
Like, we would go together, I think. Or get dropped off. A couple of us at the same time.
- [33:33]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [33:34]
Lauren Lapkus
And then, you know, everyone's grinding the usher. And it didn't happen for me at that point. I don't think any. I don't think I danced really at all at that time. High school, though. I was fully dancing. It was fully happening.
- [33:46]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [33:46]
Lauren Lapkus
That we would all be grinding all over.
- [33:48]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, that's. That's it.
- [33:50]
Lauren Lapkus
I mean, it's. It's sick. Honestly.
- [33:52]
Danielle Fishel
Honestly, it's Repulsive when you think about it. I know. Yeah. Huh. Yeah.
- [33:57]
Lauren Lapkus
But I have a lot of memories of that. And I remember once going to, like, a. I went to a club with my friend. This was so out of character for me, but my friend wanted to go to, like, a teen night at, like, a local club. Okay. And we went, and it was so gross. I was, like, dancing with, like, who knows who I was dancing with? But I think back to that, and I was like, that was disgusting.
- [34:16]
Danielle Fishel
Do. Yeah. Why do we. Why are there so few rules about who you're gonna grind with on a dance floor?
- [34:23]
Commercial Narrator
I know.
- [34:23]
Lauren Lapkus
And there's only one way to do it, you know? I mean, there's a few ways, I guess, but, like, it's. You're touching that closely.
- [34:28]
Danielle Fishel
Very closely. Also, I feel so, like, I think about the adults that have to be nearby, because we could. And I'm like, I would just. As the adult. How is every. How is every adult not just going
- [34:41]
Lauren Lapkus
like, oh, my God, you guys are so embarrassing.
- [34:42]
Danielle Fishel
I just want you to know this is cringe.
- [34:44]
Lauren Lapkus
I know. And the dancing at my school was, like, super hardcore. Like, it was like. I mean, sweaty, crazy dancing.
- [34:49]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. Bent over.
- [34:50]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [34:50]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [34:51]
Lauren Lapkus
Fully. I mean. And I was there, dude. You were there.
- [34:54]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, I was one of them.
- [34:55]
Lauren Lapkus
I did that. Yeah.
- [34:58]
Danielle Fishel
I think it's just. You have to do it.
- [35:00]
Lauren Lapkus
You have to.
- [35:00]
Danielle Fishel
You have to.
- [35:01]
Lauren Lapkus
No. And prom. I went to prom. I went to two prom. Proms. I went to my junior year. My friend. This is what we've talked about a little bit. My friend, who came out as gay to me, like, one second before, and I was, like, crying because I, like, had a crush on it. But he's my friend. Like, whatever.
- [35:12]
Danielle Fishel
Right?
- [35:12]
Lauren Lapkus
But he invited me to go to his senior prom when I was a junior because we were all part of the same group.
- [35:16]
Cal Penn
Yeah.
- [35:17]
Lauren Lapkus
And the best picture from that prom is me with my arm around his jacket on the chair because he was, like, so social and, like, doing it. I was just like, here we are, my date. But that was really fun. And then my senior year was. That was a great time. I had fun at prom.
- [35:31]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [35:32]
Lauren Lapkus
But. Yeah.
- [35:33]
Danielle Fishel
Do you remember the theme?
- [35:34]
Lauren Lapkus
I don't know that we had a. Maybe we did, but I think it was just kind of like a phrase, not like a decoration thing. And then we went to. It was at Navy Pier in Chicago, which is a. I don't know, big, like, crazy ballroom kind of place.
- [35:46]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [35:46]
Lauren Lapkus
And then we went to a cabin in the woods and. Oh, you know, did things a Cabin in the woods.
- [35:52]
Danielle Fishel
No, see, we all. We had hotels. We had like a hotel room that
- [35:56]
Lauren Lapkus
would never have happened. Happened.
- [35:58]
Danielle Fishel
Right. But a cabin.
- [35:59]
Lauren Lapkus
No, that's worse. A cabin's worse, for sure. But, like, I don't know. My parents. I don't think we ever could have gone to a hotel that would have seemed like you were just going to have sex.
- [36:06]
Danielle Fishel
Well, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure that's all anyone was doing or wanted to do. But there were like, a couple of people that rented a big room. You know, like, everyone will go back and hang out in this hotel room. And then those of us who were 18 could get, like, some people had rooms, and then it would just be like, well, we're gonna stay here. But yeah, I mean, I would never, ever.
- [36:30]
Commercial Narrator
Good luck.
- [36:30]
Danielle Fishel
I can't wait for my. I can't wait to say no to that.
- [36:33]
Lauren Lapkus
I can't wait. I mean, you just know what's going on. Like, it's insane.
- [36:37]
Danielle Fishel
Just a crazy thing to do. But I do also remember being like, but I'm 18.
- [36:42]
Lauren Lapkus
You think. You think you're such an adult. I mean, it felt that way for sure. It felt like we were. I mean, and I was just back at my high school giving the commencement speech, and I saw all the kids, and I was like, they're all. They're all so young. I mean, it's. It's amazing, but, like, it's also showing me that I'm getting older. But, like, that feeling when you can. Can see the difference where you're like, oh, my God, you're 18. Like, that's so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Like, it's whole life.
- [37:05]
Danielle Fishel
Crazy. So much life.
- [37:07]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [37:07]
Danielle Fishel
Were you always tall? And I asked this question not to single you out.
- [37:11]
Lauren Lapkus
I love that. And I love the segue. Oh, yeah, it was.
- [37:13]
Danielle Fishel
It came out of nowhere. But I want to know what it was like, because I am. I'm thinking about.
- [37:18]
Lauren Lapkus
That's a hard thing.
- [37:19]
Danielle Fishel
I am the size of, like, a build. A bear.
- [37:21]
Commercial Narrator
No.
- [37:21]
Danielle Fishel
And that's great.
- [37:22]
Lauren Lapkus
That's great. That's. In many ways, would have been my dream, but I was always tall.
- [37:27]
Commercial Narrator
Tall.
- [37:27]
Lauren Lapkus
I remember in, like, middle school, there was another tall girl, and we would see who was taller. And we were five, seven. Yeah. Yeah. We would stand. We would always. After school, we would go to Great Harvest Bread company, which is just like a bread place, and we would get. They would put bags of bread that was all, like, ripped up and, like, and we would all eat it. So we would all stand there.
- [37:47]
Danielle Fishel
What are you talking about? They would put it where? On their table and. What do you mean? We would all just eat it.
- [37:53]
Commercial Narrator
You're right.
- [37:53]
Lauren Lapkus
There's a lot of details left out. So it was like a kind of place where there were no tables. You just like walk in and order something. Like, I don't know if they had sandwiches. I never knew because I only ripped up bread from there. Right. Okay. So like, all the middle schoolers would, like line up and they'd put a big brown paper bag from the grocery store full of like, chopped up, like, probably day old bread. And then we'd all get butter on it and we'd stand over and eat that for free. I don't know why.
- [38:17]
Danielle Fishel
It was like they're feeding horses.
- [38:19]
Lauren Lapkus
It was so random. I don't know why high, but it was great. Okay.
- [38:23]
Danielle Fishel
It sounds amazing.
- [38:23]
Lauren Lapkus
And my friend and I would stand back to back and people would see who's taller. And I. So I did like, slouch a lot. I feel like I. When actually, when I started improv classes, the teacher had us all walk like each other. Like it was sort of like an exercise, like an acting exercise. And everyone led with their pelvis when they did. And I was like, oh, I walk like that because I'm like trying to slouch.
- [38:43]
Danielle Fishel
You're like, I see myself.
- [38:45]
Lauren Lapkus
I'm learning. I'm still.
- [38:47]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [38:48]
Lauren Lapkus
Young enough that this means something to me.
- [38:49]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [38:50]
Lauren Lapkus
But. But yeah, no, I. I got to be five' ten when I was a sophomore. Oh, my gosh. So there was like a quick growth from like 8th grade to like sophomore year.
- [38:57]
Cal Penn
Right.
- [38:57]
Danielle Fishel
Are your parents tall?
- [38:58]
Lauren Lapkus
My dad is six, five and a half and my mom is five, two, five, three. Yeah.
- [39:03]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, my gosh. Okay. Wow, your dad's really carrying those. Those jeans there. Did. Did you ever try to pivot from being the funny class clown, comedian type to playing basketball?
- [39:17]
Lauren Lapkus
I did. Not in school, though. I did that as an adult, which was not good. Not good. No, it was fun. But it was like. So there's this moment in time where, like, all the women in comedy were starting. They started a basketball league. We took over, like the local LA Rec center league. And there were like all these teams of comedians playing basketball, which was insane. And I joined it because everyone was.
- [39:41]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [39:42]
Lauren Lapkus
And I kind of always thought I did play basketball in fifth grade and like, I. To hit three pointers in like a elementary school gym. I don't know what that means, but it sounds impressive. That was the only thing I could do. Okay. My dad was my coach, and he was very involved, but Tiger woods, father style.
- [39:56]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. Like Venus and Serena.
- [39:58]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. He stopped, I guess, caring at a certain point because it never went any further. But when I was, like, an adult, like, we started doing this, and then I got my wisdom 2000 as an adult when I was like, 26 or something. And they told me that my jaw was so thin, like, the bone that if I got from my teeth growing into it, like, my wisdom teeth, like, eroding the wrong way or something. If I got hit in the face with a ball, I could break my jaw. And I already had been hit in the face with the ball because we had one, like, pro, college level, at least, like, player on our team who did a no look pass to me that went just straight to my face.
- [40:33]
Danielle Fishel
You didn't know you were supposed to be looking.
- [40:35]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, I'm like, it's no look.
- [40:36]
Danielle Fishel
I was looking.
- [40:40]
Lauren Lapkus
That was humiliating. And I was an adult, so. No. No sports. And me in high school. No, it never happened. There was no part of me that thought I should do that. And. Okay, we had gym. That was, like, very, like. We had a very involved gym class.
- [40:52]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [40:53]
Lauren Lapkus
Like, we did everything, including, like, roller skating. I don't know if that's normal at
- [40:56]
Danielle Fishel
all, but I don't think so.
- [40:57]
Lauren Lapkus
We did that. We had a pool, which. I can't swim. Like, there's a lot of, like, bad.
- [41:01]
Danielle Fishel
You can't swim?
- [41:02]
Lauren Lapkus
Not. Well, I can survive. And I'm. I can enjoy myself now. And I can.
- [41:07]
Danielle Fishel
As long as your feet can touch.
- [41:08]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, that's ideal. I can also float. I'm fine.
- [41:11]
Cal Penn
Okay.
- [41:11]
Lauren Lapkus
I can tread water.
- [41:12]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [41:12]
Lauren Lapkus
But in high school, I couldn't at all. And it was the. On the first, I was, like, dreading this forever. I knew we had a pool. I knew I would have to take swim lessons or not swim lessons. Just swim in front of boys. It was, like, co ed bathing suit awful. I think about all of that, and I'm like, that's. That should have been separated at least, because that's half the problem is that you're standing in front of your, like, peers in your bathing suit. Like, oh, but what.
- [41:34]
Danielle Fishel
But like, a slightly deeper question. Why are bathing suits for men and women so drastically different?
- [41:41]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. Can we have short shorts?
- [41:42]
Danielle Fishel
Why can't we just. Why can't we have baggy shorts? Right? Why are we. From the very beginning, just like, well, you're gonna be near water, so you're holding that vagina.
- [41:50]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [41:50]
Danielle Fishel
Your whole vagina has to be out and now also, if you're not wearing a thong, oh my God, just put a sign on you that says, I'm old and out of it.
- [41:58]
Lauren Lapkus
I'm literally a hundred. I'm like, I'm covering my butt. I don't, I don't know. I know I'm not. I'm just not doing it. But not. No, I support everyone who is. And they look great.
- [42:07]
Danielle Fishel
They all look amazing.
- [42:08]
Lauren Lapkus
No, I don't know how they're getting their butt so taut and smooth and shiny. Their skin's perfect on their ass. I don't know how they're doing full
- [42:15]
Danielle Fishel
body laser hair removal.
- [42:16]
Cal Penn
There's a lot.
- [42:17]
Danielle Fishel
I don't know what's going on. But also I think about like my 6 and 4 year old son, who my 6 year old will be at the beach and he's like, mommy, look at that lady's butt. And I'm like, yeah, there it is.
- [42:28]
Lauren Lapkus
I know, it's a butt. It's a butt.
- [42:30]
Danielle Fishel
It looks great.
- [42:31]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, looks, looks good. It's quite taut. No. But then on the first day of swimming, so I remember crying to my mom about this, like when I was like a freshman in high school. And she would always say, like, do you want me to write you a note? Like, get you out of it?
- [42:43]
Danielle Fishel
And I always said, no, that's a good mom.
- [42:45]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. But I would say no. But I don't know, I guess I just felt like I had to do it right. And on the first day I jumped off the diving board. I'd never done that in my life. And it's really dangerous when you think about it, because I don't know what was going to happen. But I had read this book when I was like, I can't wait to
- [42:59]
Danielle Fishel
see where this goes. You had read a book that made you feel confident?
- [43:05]
Lauren Lapkus
Yes, it was. There was a series of books in like elementary school that I was read about this girl named Alice. They're like the Alice books. I don't know, I've never looked them up since then. But she couldn't swim and she had to learn how to swim. And it was like she, she said to pop yourself up like a cork, like, like a corkscrew or whatever.
- [43:21]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [43:22]
Lauren Lapkus
And so that just always stuck in my head as someone who was afraid of swimming. So I. It was there that day and I did it and I. And I passed. Like no one thought I couldn't swim and that I was doing everything with everyone the whole time. I don't even know. Like, I, like we just wanted to swim. Yeah.
- [43:39]
Commercial Narrator
Yeah.
- [43:39]
Danielle Fishel
So maybe we do know how to swim.
- [43:41]
Lauren Lapkus
I mean, maybe I didn't. I'm bad at going underwater. I do panic.
- [43:44]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [43:45]
Lauren Lapkus
It makes me really stressed. But I want to take lessons. But I'm, like, scared of that, too. Like, just the vulnerability in front of, like, somebody.
- [43:52]
Danielle Fishel
Why don't you do Mommy and Me classes?
- [43:54]
Lauren Lapkus
Because I'll be the one crying. Like, I.
- [43:56]
Danielle Fishel
Your daughters will be like, mom.
- [43:58]
Lauren Lapkus
Mike always does it. My husband always does it because he's a. He was, like, a swimmer.
- [44:01]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [44:02]
Lauren Lapkus
And he's very comfortable.
- [44:03]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [44:03]
Lauren Lapkus
So I'm afraid that if they want us. If they want me to, like, put her under, I'm gonna, like, feel.
- [44:07]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [44:07]
Lauren Lapkus
The anxiety.
- [44:08]
Danielle Fishel
Well, now that I know Mike's such a good swimmer. Mike should teach you to swim.
- [44:11]
Lauren Lapkus
He's tried.
- [44:12]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [44:12]
Lauren Lapkus
Okay. I know. We tried.
- [44:13]
Danielle Fishel
Nobody.
- [44:13]
Lauren Lapkus
If I had a pool, this is my goal. It's like, have a pool someday so that I can actually practice regularly.
- [44:18]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. And in the privacy, you can panic
- [44:20]
Lauren Lapkus
in your own backyard.
- [44:20]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [44:20]
Lauren Lapkus
I want to panic privately.
- [44:21]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [44:22]
Lauren Lapkus
I don't want to be, like, in some public.
- [44:23]
Danielle Fishel
It's really the dream.
- [44:24]
Lauren Lapkus
No. And I have a few friends who also can't swim, coincidentally, who want to take lessons. So we've talked about this before. It was our goal last year, and we all were all afraid, so we didn't do it. Right.
- [44:32]
Danielle Fishel
You're like, we're gonna do it. Which one of us is actually gonna pull the trigger? Yeah. Someone has to do it.
- [44:37]
Lauren Lapkus
Happen.
- [44:39]
Danielle Fishel
You have mentioned that you were raised in Evanston, right?
- [44:42]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [44:42]
Danielle Fishel
Did you ever think of trying to convince your parents to let you come to LA for pilot season or to move out here? You didn't know anything about it.
- [44:49]
Lauren Lapkus
I didn't know anything about it. I really. I was totally ignorant to, like, how anything worked like that. And also was so focused on my, like, sketch comedy dream that, like, it just didn't even dawn on me to, like, try that.
- [45:03]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [45:03]
Lauren Lapkus
But I think it was good because I feel like my improv, like, experience and taking those classes and performing on stage was so much of how I became an actor. Like, I think I didn't really have anything to take to LA at that point.
- [45:17]
Danielle Fishel
Right, Right. What was I taking? I'm tall, cute.
- [45:22]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. I want it.
- [45:24]
Danielle Fishel
I want it very badly.
- [45:25]
Bowen Yang
Yeah. Yeah.
- [45:26]
Lauren Lapkus
Exactly.
- [45:32]
Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Resource with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy. Taking care of yourself can feel impossible. That's why premier protein shakes are my go to. They have 30 grams of protein, 160 calories, no added sugar, and they taste amazing. So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make. It's not just for fitness, it's for getting after life. Premier Protein powers me to say yes to more. Find your favorite flavor@prem ear protein.com that's P R E M I E R
- [46:06]
Cal Penn
protein.com hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary, massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.
- [46:33]
Lauren Lapkus
I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get
- [46:38]
Cal Penn
teary as I'm narrating some of these sections.
- [46:40]
Lauren Lapkus
And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent? And I really thought about it.
- [46:43]
Danielle Fishel
I was like, no.
- [46:44]
Lauren Lapkus
At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and
- [46:49]
Cal Penn
the listener have in telling this story
- [46:51]
Lauren Lapkus
if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic.
- [46:59]
Cal Penn
That's great because it served the story.
- [47:02]
Lauren Lapkus
People will say like, oh my God,
- [47:03]
Cal Penn
I cried at the end.
- [47:04]
Lauren Lapkus
It's like, yeah, dude, me too.
- [47:05]
Cal Penn
Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello? Hello, this is Malcolm Glabel from Smart talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari hp.
- [47:27]
Lauren Lapkus
Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.
- [47:33]
Cal Penn
I'm still working on rolling my R's, but what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age.
- [47:43]
Lauren Lapkus
Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team.
- [47:54]
Cal Penn
You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.
- [48:07]
Lauren Lapkus
When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology. And digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection connection with our fans.
- [48:16]
Cal Penn
To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit IBM.com ferrari
- [48:27]
Commercial Narrator
hey,
- [48:28]
Danielle Fishel
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- [49:07]
Commercial Narrator
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- [50:11]
Danielle Fishel
Who were some of your biggest teenage crushes? I want to hear about like the J.T.T.S, the writer. Yeah, but, but like mine was David Letterman.
- [50:21]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh yeah. Oh, I love that. I love that.
- [50:23]
Danielle Fishel
I carried around a picture of him in my wallet. Oh, I just.
- [50:27]
Lauren Lapkus
Have you met him?
- [50:28]
Danielle Fishel
I've never met him.
- [50:29]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh my God.
- [50:29]
Danielle Fishel
No, I know, I know.
- [50:30]
Cal Penn
The.
- [50:31]
Danielle Fishel
I don't even think I want to. I can't.
- [50:32]
Lauren Lapkus
I know. I understand that you never want to meet them. Some people I've met and I'm like, I just wish ever happened. Like it just like not even like they did something wrong, but it's like the fantasy or the way that I feel.
- [50:41]
Danielle Fishel
He feels untouchable to me. Like a, like a person that's just on another level.
- [50:46]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one.
- [50:48]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [50:48]
Lauren Lapkus
Mine, I would say one, the first one that comes to mind is Matthew Lillard who I did work with on Good Girls and so I, I didn't tell him that. But he'll probably see this.
- [50:56]
Danielle Fishel
He's probably. Yeah, he'll probably know about it now. Why wouldn't you tell him? Just because you feel it? Is it weird to say? I don't know.
- [51:01]
Lauren Lapkus
I. Scream was my favorite, favorite movie in middle school, which I also think is, like, an annoying thing to say to an older person. Like, Scream is my favorite movie in middle school. Like, it sounds.
- [51:08]
Danielle Fishel
You could leave that part out. As someone who often hears, I was. I was born the year Boy Meets World started. I'm like, we don't. I don't need to know every fact.
- [51:18]
Lauren Lapkus
How about you liked it?
- [51:19]
Commercial Narrator
Yeah.
- [51:20]
Lauren Lapkus
No, but he was one. And I love that movie so much. And I still love it. It's like, one of the best horror movies ever. And just one of the best movies. And who. So who else? JTT was one. And he. There was one point where. Where a car was parked in front of my house that had the license plate jtt, and I was convinced it was his car.
- [51:41]
Danielle Fishel
Right. Because that's what he'd want to draw attention to.
- [51:43]
Cal Penn
Yeah.
- [51:43]
Danielle Fishel
Just everywhere he goes, people to know.
- [51:45]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [51:45]
Lauren Lapkus
But you know. You know what's sort of funny? I look back, there was this point in seventh grade where my friend wanted to make Crush books. And we did, and we made. We cut out pictures we, like, printed online. Like, pictures of everybody we liked.
- [51:58]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [51:59]
Lauren Lapkus
And then we put it into a book. And I felt like I was faking it.
- [52:02]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, really?
- [52:02]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. Like, I kind of was like, I don't care. Like, I just don't know that I really cared.
- [52:07]
Danielle Fishel
Right. Right. And how old were you at that time?
- [52:09]
Lauren Lapkus
Seventh grade. Like, I was like. I was kind of like, I'll make it. I put in, like, a bunch of cute people.
- [52:15]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [52:15]
Lauren Lapkus
And then I. I still have it. Of course. I haven't thrown any papers out.
- [52:19]
Danielle Fishel
You are such a. Yeah.
- [52:21]
Commercial Narrator
You're.
- [52:21]
Danielle Fishel
You're a mix of Jensen and Will.
- [52:23]
Lauren Lapkus
Will forget my.
- [52:23]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. He never gets rid of anything either.
- [52:26]
Lauren Lapkus
I. You know, I get rid of stuff now and then. I'm sort of of like, later. Me might want this stuff, but, like, I have all my childhood stuff, but I made. I put mosaic tiles around every picture. We, like, glued little tiles. I put, like, Prince William. He was kind of one that we talked about a lot.
- [52:40]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, yeah.
- [52:41]
Commercial Narrator
Yeah.
- [52:41]
Danielle Fishel
And with your history with Princess Diana, seems, like, destined.
- [52:45]
Lauren Lapkus
I mean, I was right there. You know, it could happen.
- [52:47]
Danielle Fishel
It could absolutely happen. You strike me as being a rule follower, but I do want to know what's the most trouble you ever got into as a teen?
- [52:58]
Lauren Lapkus
Okay. There are a couple things that come to mind. One is that this wasn't really trouble, but I feel guilty about it, which is that when I was a junior in high school, I was supposed to babysit for my neighbor. And then I got invited to a party that my crush was gonna be at. So I just, on the last second, I left them an answering machine message that I wasn't coming.
- [53:17]
Danielle Fishel
Oh.
- [53:18]
Lauren Lapkus
And I just went to the party and I felt so bad that I didn't get in trouble and. But they never had me babysit again. But also, that's fine. Like, it was like, I always kind of go, like, they probably think I'm bad for that. That's not true. Who cares? I know I was a teenager. Like, of course I made that choice.
- [53:33]
Danielle Fishel
Exactly.
- [53:34]
Lauren Lapkus
That's what I should have done. And it was great.
- [53:36]
Danielle Fishel
And I'm glad. I'm glad you made teenage Lauren deserved that.
- [53:39]
Cal Penn
Yeah.
- [53:39]
Commercial Narrator
But.
- [53:39]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, but as those parents. Yeah, I would be. That would be.
- [53:42]
Lauren Lapkus
That'd be annoying. And as a parent now, when people flake on me, I'm like, you suck.
- [53:48]
Danielle Fishel
There is so much more with Lauren Lapkis this Friday for a bonus episode on the dedicated Teen Beat feed. All you have to do is search for Teen Beat wherever you get your podcast. That way, every new episode is sent directly to your phone or Sidekick or portable DVD player. Whatever you listen to shows on, you are guaranteed to see it and I want to hear from you. Send us a voice memo in the one to two minute range telling us all about your most embarrassing childhood memory. Email it to teenbeatpodmail.com and you might just hear it on the show. And make sure to check out Lauren Lapkis on Stuart Fails to Save the Universe on HBO Max starting July 23rd. Teen Beat is an iHeart podcast produced and hosted by Danielle Fishel, executive producers Jensen Karp and Amy Sugarman, executive in charge of production, Danielle Romo, producer and editor Tara Sudbaksh. The theme song is by Mark Hoppus. Yes, that Mark Hoppus. Follow us on Instagram teenbeatpod.
- [54:47]
Bowen Yang
This is Bowen Yang from Lost cultureistos with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy. Taking care of yourself can feel, feel impossible. That's why premier protein shakes are my go to. They have 30 grams of protein, 160 calories, no added sugar, and they taste amazing. So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make. It's not just for fitness, it's for getting after life 30 grams of protein gives you the fuel you need. It's not just for intense gym sessions, it's just for life. With the wide variety of flavors, from cafe latte to cake batter, it never feels boring. There's a flavor for everyone. I personally love the peaches and cream, but maybe you're a root beer floater cinnamon roll kind of person. Premier Protein powers me to say yes to more. Find your favorite flavor@premierprotein.com that's P R E M I E R protein.com or at Amazon, Walmart and other major retailers.
- [55:47]
Cal Penn
Hey everyone, it's Kalpen. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [56:16]
Danielle Fishel
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Lauren Lapkus
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Danielle Fishel
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Lauren Lapkus
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Danielle Fishel
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Lauren Lapkus
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Danielle Fishel
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Danielle Fishel
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Lauren Lapkus
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Lauren Lapkus
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Cal Penn
What?
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Danielle Fishel
Yeah, with all new episodes of Tyler
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Lauren Lapkus
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Danielle Fishel
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Cal Penn
Now I will control an empire.
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Bowen Yang
Original series like the Shy.
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Lauren Lapkus
Just make sure we protect each other.
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Danielle Fishel
And live sports like ufc.
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Lauren Lapkus
Welcome to the history books.
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Danielle Fishel
New home, same family.
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Bowen Yang
Your BET favorites are now on Paramount plus subscribe now.
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Cal Penn
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- [58:00]
Lauren Lapkus
This is an iheart podcast. Guaranteed Human.