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Podcast Host
This is an I Heart podcast.
Parenting Expert
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Cecil
Please welcome aboard the Johnson family.
Vivian
The whole fam's here for the Disney Cruise. So you know we came to play. And listen, the adults are gonna have a ball. First we're chilling in the infinity pool onto massages at Sense's Spa, then gliding into Star Wars Hyperspace Lounge for a toast. We're even gonna back with Mickey on Disney's private island. That's how we get down. Cause Disney Cruise Line is where we came to play. High key Listen to High Key, a new weekly podcast. You better listen. Speaking of tanning, I was sunning my nether regions because I read that you're supposed to like get sun not only in your mouth but also in your other orifices. Wait, are you talking about you put your hole into the sun? I did. That's crazy. Downward Dog Mooning the sun. I was gonna say. Is it Cheeks Open?
Theodore
It's Cheeks Open all the why?
Vivian
Who's holding them? Enough of that nonsense. Now listen to High key on the iHeartRadio app. Apple Podcasts are wherever you get your podcast.
Cecil
Hello listeners, it's once again time for It Came From Reddit, a special bonus podcast episode where I satisfy my own niece fascination. Yes, that's what I said. With dramatic audio retellings of 100 honest stories I found on Reddit. If you've heard one of these episodes before, you might be asking yourself, wait, how does he know these clearly fabricated and exaggerated stories anonymously posted on the Internet are true? And to that I say, good question. So with the help of my trusty co hosts, I have recorded yet another new tale, a rollercoaster explanation into human emotion and the fragile yet complex ego. That again proves I have picked the perfect new hobby. Total waste of my precious time. And now, here's our third installment of the series titled My fiance mocked my manhood at our engagement dinner, saying I had bargain bin equipment. So I slipped the ring off her finger and walked out. And now her family is falling apart. Ooh boy, it's a tale as old as time itself, isn't it? So to start it off, I admit it was all a bit petty of me. My name is Cecil, 29, male, and I'd been with my girlfriend Vivian for three years. We're both in finance, met at some mind numbing corporate conference where the biggest excitement was arguing about the quarterly projections over stale bagels and weak coffee. We hit it off and she quickly moved into my downtown apartment last year. Then six months ago, I proposed with my grandmother's ring. It's a beautiful vintage piece that had been in my family for generations. About 18 months into our relationship, during one of those late night conversations where all the walls coming down and you're just two people being completely honest with each other, I told Vivian about something from my past, a medical situation from when I was younger that left me with certain physical realities. I'd never shared this with any other woman, and I don't know why she wouldn't know at this point, because I imagine we'd been naked together and I'm not comfortable sharing it online here either, even anonymously. By the way, like I said, my name's cecil and I'm 29. This wasn't something minor or trivial. It was a source of deep personal insecurity that had affected my confidence for years. The kind of thing that makes you hesitate before getting Intimate with someone new makes you wonder if you'll ever find someone who can truly accept you as you are again. How are we not having sex at this point? We live together anyway. I'd spent years working through the psychological impact with therapists, learning to accept myself despite my limitations. Vivian's reaction was everything I'd hoped for and more. She was understanding, supportive, gentle, just in all the right ways. She made me feel like I didn't need to change anything between us.
Parenting Expert
This doesn't change anything between us.
Cecil
She held me that night and whispered that she loved me exactly as I was.
Parenting Expert
I love you exactly as you are.
Cecil
I have a hearing problem, so I didn't hear it. I needed her to say it a little bit louder.
Parenting Expert
I love you exactly as you are.
Cecil
That was better. That vulnerability was what made our relationship real. That moment sealed our bond in ways I'd never experienced before. It was the foundation of trust that made me believe we could build a life together. But her family was an interesting dynamic to navigate. Her father, Theodore, don't know how old he was, was one of those deeply faithful men who wore his religion like armor against the world. Church every Sunday and Wednesday and Tuesday and Monday. Sometimes in the evening, sometimes in the morning. I don't even think he had a job. Grace before every meal. Biblical quotes for every life situation. He seemed like a genuinely good man with strong moral principles.
Theodore
I'd give you the shirt off my back if you needed it.
Cecil
But watching him interact with his wife was genuinely painful. She controlled every aspect of his existence. What he wore to work, how he spent his free time, which friends he was allowed to see, and even what food he ordered at restaurants.
Parenting Expert
He'll have the Cobb salad. No bacon bits. They make him fart.
Cecil
Theodore would just nod along and then fart.
Theodore
Whatever you think is best, dear.
Cecil
The man had completely surrendered his backbone somewhere along the way. Probably worn down by decades of manipulation disguised as marriage. Carmen herself was a piece of work. One of those women who smiled sweetly while sliding knives between your ribs. She had this way of making comments that sounded supportive on the surface, but left you feeling smaller.
Parenting Expert
Wow, Cecil, you look skinny today.
Cecil
Thank you. I figured Vivian was different than her mom because she'd always roll her eyes at her behavior. But apparently I was wrong. I spent three weeks planning our engagement dinner, down to every tiny detail. This wasn't just going to be some casual get together at the nearby Olive Garden, where, sure, you're family, but I'd wanted something a little more elegant. I reserved the private dining room at Meridians easily the most exclusive restaurant in the city. They once rejected Danny Glover because he was wearing sneakers. Can you imagine that? Danny freakin Glover. Anyway, I flew Theodore and Carmen in from Phoenix, which is strange because that's not where they're from, and coordinated schedules with my sister Riley and my best friend Marcus. I arranged transportation, even had the restaurant prepare a special menu featuring Vivian's favorite dishes. No bacon bits.
Theodore
Insert fart noise.
Cecil
Insert fart noise.
Theodore
That's me farting.
Cecil
I bought a new Tom Ford suit because what I really wanted was a Harrison Ford suit. But he doesn't make them. Everything had to be absolutely perfect. The financial investment was significant. I probably spent close to $8,000 on one evening. But hey, it felt worth it. This was supposed to be one of those milestone moments you remember for the rest of your life. I mean, it's my engagement party. And that night started out exactly as I planned. 20 people in private dining rooms, everyone dressed up in good spirits. Theodore said grace before we ate.
Theodore
Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of this meal and the blessing of being surrounded by loved ones tonight. Please bless this gathering and this couple and guide our hearts with gratitude and joy.
Parenting Expert
Speak up, Theodore.
Theodore
Gratitude and joy. Amen.
Cecil
Amen indeed. I looked at Vivian across the table, and all I could think about was how lucky I was to have met someone who really got me. Who knew my worst secret and loved me anyway. When it came time for toast, the mood in the room shifted to something more formal and heartfelt. Theodore spoke again, and honestly, he moved me to tears.
Theodore
Cecil has become a member of our family. The love between him and my daughter, it's palpable to anyone who meets them. God's plan truly did bring them together at the right time.
Parenting Expert
Theo, for Christ's sake, speak up.
Theodore
At the right time.
Cecil
My brother and sister spoke next. Riley talked about watching me find happiness after my divorce. Apparently, I've been divorced before and never really mentioned it.
Parenting Expert
And it wasn't his fault. You know, she was the spawn of Satan herself. I told him not to trust a woman who wears sunglasses indoors.
Cecil
My brother Marcus went next, and he kept his toast light but sincere.
Theodore
Can't believe he finally found someone who can put up with his obsessive spreadsheet organization to research every major purchase before deciding. I mean, come on, Bud, it's a vcr, not a goddamn solar powered calculator for sentient pitches.
Parenting Expert
I mean, am I right?
Theodore
Am I right?
Parenting Expert
Am I right?
Cecil
Then Vivian stood up and I leaned back in my chair with what I'm sure was the biggest, most contented grin on my face. I was expecting some sweet story about our journey together, maybe something about how she knew from our first conversation that I was different from the other guys she dated. I knew I was in for something special.
Parenting Expert
I remember the conference like it was yesterday. Cecil was the only person there who actually seemed interested in discussing something other than quarterly reports and market projections. Then we had our first date at Olive Garden. You know, we're your family. The waiter accidentally spilled red sauce on Cecil's shirt.
Theodore
Mamma mia.
Parenting Expert
And we just laughed and laughed and.
Cecil
Laughed and laughed and laughed. She said that for like the next 10 minutes. Back at the dinner, I was nodding along, feeling that warm glow of contentment you get when everything in your life feels exactly where it should be. But then something shifted in her expression. That loving smile I'd been expecting slowly twisting into something else entirely, Something cold and calculating that I'd never seen before. She raised her glass higher and the room quieted as everyone prepared to hear what they expected would be a touching declaration of love. She looked directly at me and said.
Parenting Expert
Here'S to marrying a man who worships me. It's proof that love really does conquer all. Even when the equipment comes in travel size.
Cecil
There was dead silence in the room. Then she just started laughing.
Parenting Expert
I mean, have you guys ever seen a baby millipede? It's like that.
Cecil
Brother Nathan nearly spit out his drink laughing.
Theodore
Try again.
Cecil
Her mom chuckled, and then Theodore nervously joined in. That guy's so whipped, I don't even think he got the joke. My brother and sisters My brother and sister sat frozen in their chairs, their faces reflecting the complete horror and disbelief I felt flooding through my system. The woman I planned to marry, whom I trusted with the most vulnerable part of my soul, had just weaponized that trust in front of everyone I know and love. The cruelty was so calculated, so deliberate, that I almost couldn't process it. The smirk on her face told me everything I needed to know about how much she was enjoying my pain. I slowly pushed back my chair and stood up. I could sense the room watching my every move. I walked around the table to where Vivian stood, her smirks starting to falter as I got closer. I gently took her left hand and slipped my grandmother's engagement ring off her finger in one smooth, deliberate motion while looking directly into her eyes. I then broke the silence, speaking to her loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. You don't deserve this. Then I turned and walked straight out of the dining room without looking back, ignoring her Voice behind me calling out, oh, come on.
Parenting Expert
It was just a joke. Don't be so sensitive. Where are you going?
Theodore
Oh, did this salad have bacon bits?
Cecil
As I left, I was systematically dismantling every assumption I'd made about our relationship and walking through a cloud of fart. Cloud of Theodore fart, a cloud of Theo fart. Had any of it been real? How many of her friends already knew my secret because she thought it was amusing? By the time I pulled in my parking garage, I knew exactly what I was gonna do. This wasn't going to be some messy breakup. I was going to handle this like a business transaction. I went straight to the closet and started pulling out every piece of clothing that belonged to her. Dresses, work clothes, that expensive coat, that shirt that said don't go bacon my heart.
Parenting Expert
Don'T go bacon my husband.
Theodore
I don't go back in my heart.
Cecil
That shirt that said Caesar warbles.
Parenting Expert
That's what this is.
Cecil
Dresses, work clothes, that expensive coat, that shirt that said don't go baking my fart, that goes with my shirt that said I couldn't even if I fried everything went into trash bags. I went room by room, clearing out every trace of her bathroom stuff, kitchen items, bedroom belongings. Expensive, cheap, meaningful or unimportant. Gone. Took me about 90 minutes. 12 bags in total, all tied up and ready to go. Then I sat and waited. Vivian showed up exactly 47 minutes after I walked out of the restaurant. I could hear her in the hallway fumbling with her key. Then the confused rattling when it wouldn't turn. Oh, yeah. I called an emergency locksmith while I was packing.
Parenting Expert
They got there in 47 minutes.
Cecil
Yes, they did. Cost me double for after hour service, but it was worth every penny. If you're ever in the greater Victorville area and you need a key made, call Asmir.
Theodore
Hi, I'm Asmir. Give me a call.
Parenting Expert
This is why we can't record these together.
Theodore
Call Asmere.
Cecil
I'll do it. Yeah, if you're ever in the greater Victorville area, need a key made, call Asmir. Guy's a pro and he'll chat your ear off about chemtrails.
Theodore
Hey, it's Asmir. Give me a call, real man.
Cecil
The frantic knocking started immediately, like she thought she could break down the door.
Parenting Expert
I know you're in there. Open the door. We need to talk about this.
Cecil
I let her bang for a full five minutes before opening it just wide enough to see the makeup smeared across her face from crying. She had that panic look of someone who just torched their entire Life in one stupid moment.
Parenting Expert
Baby, please let me explain. It was just a stupid joke that came out all wrong. You know I didn't mean anything by it. I was nervous and trying to be funny.
Cecil
I kept my voice flat, final, and said, we're done. I started to close the door, but she stuck her foot in the gap.
Parenting Expert
Wait, wait. You can't just end three years over this. I made a mistake, okay? I admit it. But we can work through this. We can go to counseling. I'll apologize to everyone. Whatever you want.
Cecil
I told her to move her foot, never come back. She stared at me for a few seconds, probably hoping to see some crack in my resolve. But when she realized I was dead serious, she let me close the door. She kept bounding though, pleading and threatening me for 20 minutes. Everything from promising to make it up to me, threats about the lease. She even claimed she was having some kind of mental breakdown and needed help.
Parenting Expert
Can you please look up what I'm.
Cecil
Supposed to do If I'm having a.
Parenting Expert
Panic attack, look on Dr. Oz.com or something.
Cecil
I just turned on the TV to Dr. Oz and ignored her. Hi, I'm Dr. Oz. And then, finally, silence. I waited another hour to make sure she was really gone, then started moving the bags. 12 trips downstairs to the street. I could have used the service elevator to make it easier, but I wanted to take my time and feel the pain. Also, I needed my steps. Each bag felt like shredding another piece of dead weight, and by 2am I had them all arranged neatly on the curb like some kind of serial killer finally ridding his fridge of body parts. I went back upstairs, cracked open a soda and waited by the window. And like I predicted, she came back around 3:30am probably thinking she could catch me when I was tired and emotional. Instead, she found her entire life scattered across the sidewalk in garbage bags. Hefty, hefty, hefty. Oh, you betcha, betcha, betcha. I watched from the bed. I watched from the bedroom window as she knelt on the concrete in her wrinkled engagement dress, frantically digging through bags and trying to salvage her belongings. She kept looking up at the window with this desperate expression, probably hoping to see some sign that this was all just a dramatic gesture that would blow over by morning. But I just stood there watching like a creepy version of Norman Bates. Dead mom. She chosen to humiliate me in front of 20 people, and now she has to dig through her garbage bags in a Designer dress at 3:30am it seemed fair to me.
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Cecil
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Theodore
So what are you waiting for?
Cecil
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Parenting Expert
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Cecil
No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law. 21 terms and conditions apply. Okay, ladies, when I said we came to play, didn't I mean it? This Disney cruise got me feeling like a queen.
Vivian
We can get massages at Sense's Spa, have a meet and greet with Black Panther.
Cecil
Ooh, I love him.
Vivian
And I can't wait to sunbathe on the private island.
Cecil
And the kids will be fine.
Theodore
Girl, they're good.
Cecil
Exactly.
Vivian
While they hang in the kids club.
Cecil
With Mickey Mouse, we can do our thing. Mm.
Vivian
And do it well.
Parenting Expert
All day.
Cecil
Disney Cruise Line is where we came to play.
Parenting Expert
Summer is right around the corner. And you know what that means.
Theodore
Barbecues.
Cecil
Sunny days by the pool with my shirt on.
Parenting Expert
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Cecil
You can't go wrong with any of their products. They have the new Lux Wax for Less. Wait time in between waxes or the.
Theodore
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Parenting Expert
But we're focusing on my favorite, the wax strips. It makes for the easiest wax ever, and it lasts up to four weeks. And all while minimizing hair regrowth and most importantly, saving me time. I have a podcast to record, a little league practice to watch, and a bedtime of 8.30pm Nair is an actual lifesaver.
Cecil
You can achieve salon quality results at home, leaving you with stress free, soft, silky Skin. Or as I like to call it.
Theodore
The Triple S. You heard the man. Get ready for summer. Buy Nair Wax strips at Walmart, Walgreens or cvs.
Cecil
High Key.
Vivian
Listen to High Key, a new weekly podcast. You better listen. That's literally the definition of being an Aries moon. Just one little spice off comment. That's all it takes. Everyone loves me at the Cancer. And then the Aries comes out and they said, who the is that? No. You're gonna come for me being an Aries and you have a Sag Moon. Get out of here. But I'm a Capricorn rising, so that honestly balances it out and makes me more likable. Okay, that is your Capricorn talking. Listen to High key on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Cecil
I eventually went to bed, but my phone started buzzing at 6am it didn't stop. For the next five days, Vivian's messages went through all the predictable stages.
Parenting Expert
Baby, just pick up. I love you.
Cecil
I love us.
Parenting Expert
Let's just meet at Olive Garden. Get on the same page. Cecil, what are you doing? I'm the one who should be mad. You humiliated me in front of my entire family. Just because you couldn't take a simple joke. You actually owe me an apology. Listen, little man, I know all your dirty secrets. You can't just throw me away in garbage bags. I'll destroy your reputation. Everyone at the office, your friends, your family. They will all know exactly what kind of pathetic excuse for a man you really are. You have 24 hours to call me back and fix it.
Cecil
This. The audacity was incredible. But it showed me exactly who she really was underneath all that fake sweetness. I didn't respond, so she switched to bargaining.
Parenting Expert
I'll never hurt you again. I was just nervous. We'll go to couples therapy. Anger management. A doctor will make you huge. Whatever will help.
Cecil
Then Carmen called. By the way, do you have the name of that doctor? Three days after the dinner disaster, I'd been expecting this, so I had to pick up. Hello?
Parenting Expert
You really embarrassed Vivian. She was just trying to lighten the mood with a little humor. Married couples tease each other all the time. It's perfectly normal and healthy. I mean, Theodore is the size of a hot wheel. You don't see him crying about it. Maybe you should think about whether you're really ready for marriage. If you're going to run away at the first little bump in the road.
Cecil
I thought it was time to find out exactly how deep this rabbit hole went. Carmen, how Often do you and Vivian discuss our private life?
Parenting Expert
Well, mothers and daughters talk about everything.
Cecil
Meaning what, exactly? She laughed in that same harsh tone I'd heard at dinner.
Parenting Expert
Oh, honey, I know all about your challenges. Vivian tells me everything. How else can I give her proper guidance about managing a man like you?
Cecil
My stomach turned as the full scope of this betrayal sunk in. What kind of guidance, exactly?
Parenting Expert
Men like you need a firm hand to keep you in line and remind you of your place.
Cecil
The puppet master finally revealed herself. I could hear decades of manipulation in her voice. It was the same technique she'd probably use to break down Theodore until he was nothing more than a nodding yes man. Carmen, I said, my voice perfectly calm and controlled, I want you to listen very carefully. Your daughter betrayed the most private, vulnerable part of my life for your entertainment. You've been treating my relationship like your personal soap opera. Coaching her to humiliate me publicly as some sick power play. I'm not your husband to control. She quickly hung up. And then Theodore called.
Theodore
I don't know what to say, Cecil. I. I didn't know Vivian and Carmen were like this. Sharing intimate details about your life. We raised her better than that, I promise. We raised her to respect people, to honor confidences, to treat others with dignity.
Cecil
I assured him that I genuinely like and respected the man underneath all that learned helplessness. And then I asked, did you think what she said was funny? There was a long pause.
Theodore
God help me, Cecil. I laughed because everyone else was laughing. And I thought it was some kind of inside joke between you two. Baby Millipede, I mean. But. But what? I realized what had actually happened. What she really done. I. I've been sick about it for three days. I haven't been able to sleep.
Cecil
I said, I appreciate you calling, but this isn't something I can forgive.
Theodore
Ah, I understand, son. I just wanted you to know that's not who I raised her to be. I'm starting to see a lot of things I was blind to for too many years.
Cecil
That was the first time I realized Theodore was blind. I respected him too much to probe any deeper. But I could hear that the man was finally waking up after decades of sleep. Good for him. But I was done. After these calls, I began to rearrange my life. I threw myself back into work and renewed focus and started hitting the gym. I even started dating again. Nothing serious, just testing the waters to see if I could trust someone new. I thought the whole nightmare was finally behind me. But then I started noticing the whispers at my office. It was the kind of awkward energy that suggests everyone knows something you don't. I chalked it up to paranoia at first, but the signs became impossible to ignore when people started treating me differently. My buddy Jake from accounting. Don't know how old he is either. Finally pulled me aside during lunch.
Theodore
Hey, dude, it's Jake. Is it true what they're saying about you and your situation?
Cecil
Oh, the words hit me like a ton of bricks. Where did you hear that?
Theodore
Oh, it's all over the office. Brett, the guy who pooped his pants at the Christmas party. He's been telling everyone who will listen his new girlfriend gave him all the dirt on you. What? B.B. miller, what is it?
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, my God.
Theodore
Real personal stuff. I mean, I didn't want to believe it, but he's got details that seem pretty specific.
Cecil
Apparently, this Brett guy was dating Vivian. Now this felt even worse than the original betrayal.
Parenting Expert
Hold on. His name's Jake.
Cecil
Oh, apparently this Jake guy was dating.
Theodore
Talking about Brett, who postponed.
Parenting Expert
Okay, right. Sorry, I got him confused.
Cecil
Okay, sorry. Anyway. And action. Apparently, this Brett guy, the pooping guy, was dating Vivian. Now this felt even worse than the original betrayal. It was like she'd studied how to inflict maximum damage and crafted a plan specifically designed to destroy all aspects of my life. And so I confronted Brett the next day. I courted him by the office, but not too close because of the smell during his. During his usual afternoon gossip session with the other small minded parasites who fed on people's businesses. We need to talk.
Theodore
I said, hey, man, I'm just sharing what I've been told. You know, I've. If you got issues with your junk, maybe you shouldn't tell people about it.
Cecil
The casual cruelty in his voice was disgusting. Brett, I'm going to say this once, and I want you to listen carefully. Stop spreading personal information about me or this will become a legal problem.
Theodore
All right, dude, dude, relax. You can't blame me for sharing funny stories with the guys. I mean, you know, maybe if you were more of a man, there wouldn't be so much to laugh about.
Cecil
My hands clenched into fists, and I considered introducing his face to the coffee machine Like Danny Glover and lethal weapon. Danny freaking Glover, you really are crazy. Such a good callback. But I knew that causing a scene would just give him more ammunition and more poop. So I stepped back, looked him dead in the eye, and said, we'll see who's laughing when my lawyer gets done playing with you. I don't know why I added the playing with you part, and I know it made it Very weird. But I didn't have much time to think about it, and honestly, I was caught off guard. I called my lawyer, and by Friday afternoon, Brett and Vivian were both served with a restraining order, citing infliction of emotional distress and interference with business relationships. Vivian called me that evening from a new number, her voice a mixture of rage and panic.
Parenting Expert
You're ruining my life. Brett dumped me because he doesn't want legal drama. I could lose my job over this. All because you can't take a joke.
Cecil
I listened to a rant for exactly 30 seconds and cut her off. Stay away from me. Stop discussing my private life with anyone or I'll escalate the legal action. This is your only warning. I hung up, immediately. Blocked that number, too. Then a week later, I received a video message, this from an unknown number as well, While eating my lunch at my desk. Thinking it might be work related, I opened it, and the first thing I saw was Vivian's face. She was out of breath, flushed, even. The camera pulled back to reveal what she was doing with Brett in what looked like a cheaply furnished apartment. And then what followed was two minutes of explicit footage that made my stomach turn, not because of the visual content itself, but because I knew the obvious intention behind sending it to me. She was looking directly at the camera and at several points throughout the video. It seemed like she was recording and performing for my benefit. And at the end, while still engaged with Brett, she looked straight into the lens and said, cecil, this is a real man. The malice was breathtaking. I sat there staring at my phone screen, feeling a level of disgust and betrayal I'd never experienced before. This was the woman I'd planned to marry, who I'd share my dreams and fears with, who I trusted with my heart and vulnerabilities. I felt immeasurable pain. And then I remembered Theodore's voice during our last conversation. The pain of a father realizing his daughter had become someone he didn't recognize. I thought about Carmen's smug attitude, her admission that she'd orchestrated Vivian's public humiliation of me as some twisted power play. I realized this video would destroy them both. So I'm not sure if I went extreme here, but I made several. So I'm not sure if I went extreme here. But I made several copies of strategic portions of the video. Nothing explicitly graphic that could get me into legal trouble, but enough to show what was happening and the audio of Vivian's final cruel comment. Then I created anonymous email accounts using public computers and sent clips to Theodore, Carmen, Nathan, and several of Vivian's closest friends. And then I was shocked to see Theodore was the first person to call me at 6am in the morning. I'd never heard a human being so completely broken.
Theodore
What has she become? How did we raise someone capable of this kind of cruelty? Where did we go wrong? I started to realize my wife's toxic influence on our daughter. She has poisoned our home for decades. I filed for divorce this morning. After 32 years, I can't live with someone who turned our daughter into a monster. I'm cutting off Vivian's graduate school funding, too. She's got one semester left, but she's about to learn what real consequences feel like. By noon. I also slashed her tires. And now I'm doing whatever I want. Yes, eating bacon.
Cecil
And I kept getting updates from mutual friends and former colleagues. Vivian had been frantically calling everyone on her contact list, trying to explain the video, claiming it was fake or somehow edited to make her look bad. But no one was buying any of the desperate excuses. Also, Carmen was in full panic mode because she'd never worked a legitimate job in her adult life and had no idea how to survive financially without Theodore's income. Guess she never thought her husband would grow a spine one day. And word travels fast in the world of finance. Vivian's restraining order was public record. So someone at her firm did their homework, and she was quietly let go. Turns out financial firms don't like legal drama following their employees around. Especially when it involves harassment. Or harassment. And defamation claims. Or defamation clammies. Without the internship, she had no chance of landing a decent job after graduation. She was stuck trying to secure emergency student loans while working part time at some coffee shop downtown. And Brett? He got a taste of his own karma at our office. Management had been looking for reasons to get rid of him, and the restraining order finally gave them an excuse they needed. He was called into HR on a Friday afternoon and never came back. I heard he moved to Taiwan and changed his name to Rainbow Sanders, which is an odd turn of events I can't really explain. I mean, he wasn't even really embarrassed when he pooped his pants. Then a few weeks ago, Theodore called me one last time. His voice was now strong, more confident than I'd ever heard.
Theodore
Hey, muchacho. Just wanted to thank you for helping me see what my family had become. Man, I. I've been weak for too many years. But I'm finding my strength again. I'm. I'm an alpha now. I listen to Joe Rogan. I only eat steak. Later on, bro. I have a cold plunge at 10.
Cecil
As for me, I've never been better. The workplace gossip died when Brett disappeared, and I've been seeing someone new. A woman who understands that trust is sacred and secrets aren't weapons. She knows all about my condition and treated it with the understanding I needed and acceptance. Which, technically, is also what I said Vivian was like at first and also my first wife, so I might be the problem. Anyway. People ask if I feel guilty about what happened to Vivian and her family. Simple answer, no. You don't get to systematically destroy someone's trust and expect mercy when your actions have consequences. I just made sure the right people saw who she really was. I haven't even heard from her in months. And, oh, I kept my grandmother's ring. It's in my safe now, waiting for someone who actually deserves it.
Ryan Seacrest
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Cecil
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Vivian
Okay, ladies, when I said we came.
Cecil
To play, didn't I mean it? This Disney cruise got me feeling like.
Vivian
A We can get massages at Sense's spa. Have a meet and greet with Black Panther.
Cecil
Ooh, I love him.
Vivian
And I can't wait to sunbathe on the private island.
Cecil
And the kids will be fine.
Theodore
Girl, they're good.
Cecil
Exactly.
Vivian
While they hang in the kids club.
Cecil
With Mickey Mouse, we can do our thing. Mm. And do it well all day. Disney Cruise Line is where we came to play.
Parenting Expert
Summer is Right around the corner. And you know what that means.
Theodore
Barbecues.
Cecil
Sunny days by the pool with my shirt on.
Parenting Expert
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Cecil
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Theodore
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But we're focusing on my favorite, the wax strips. It makes for the easiest wax ever and it lasts up to four weeks. And all while minimizing hair regrowth and most importantly, saving me time. I have a podcast to record, a little league practice to watch, and a bedtime of 8.30pm Nair is an actual lifesaver.
Cecil
You can achieve salon quality results at home, leaving you with stress free, soft, silky skin. Or as I like to call it.
Theodore
The triple S. You heard the man. Get ready for summer. Buy Nair wax strips at Walmart, Walgreens or cvs.
Parenting Expert
High Key.
Vivian
Listen to High Key, a new weekly podcast. You better listen. That's literally the definition of being an Aries moon. Just one little spice off Comet. That's all it takes. Everyone loves me at the cancer and then the Aries comes out and they say, who the is that? No, you're gonna come for me being an Aries and you have a sag Moon. Get out of here. But I'm a Capricorn rising, so that honestly balances it out and makes me more likable. Okay, that is your Capricorn talking. Listen to High key on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Parenting Expert
So, fart noise.
Cecil
What'd you guys think?
Theodore
Bacon bits and farting?
Cecil
I'm sweating through my shirt.
Parenting Expert
Is that have to do with the bacon?
Cecil
I don't know if it's the bacon or it's the betrayal.
Parenting Expert
Oh, right.
Theodore
It might just be the betrayal. So he was married before, but then the first person he ever tells about his condition and expects to be okay with it is Vivian.
Parenting Expert
Also, didn't he say it was like, because of a surgery? There was like some.
Theodore
He leaves it vague.
Parenting Expert
Okay, very good.
Theodore
You know, the point is he's not defined by the size of situation.
Cecil
Right?
Theodore
And he's not to blame for it. No, but would he be more to blame for it if he was just born with it? Why does it have to be like a medical thing?
Cecil
Maybe you're born with it, maybe it's Maybelline.
Parenting Expert
Maybe. Could be.
Cecil
But it's one of those things I. I didn't. It's like, I love. They always do these where it's like. Yeah. You know, and then I told, you know, Vivian, I'm gonna tell her all about. It's like, haven't you been living.
Parenting Expert
I know now.
Cecil
Is there. No. You've never taken your pants.
Theodore
So I feel like all of these are fantasy projections of, like, people imagining the worst case scenario.
Parenting Expert
Right.
Theodore
Like, they're imagining, like, what if I was at my engagement dinner and my wife. Fiance turned out to be. Yeah. Like, and then you just kind of go down this rabbit hole of like, how would it have imaginary revenge for that imaginary thing.
Cecil
Yeah.
Theodore
And it's like. It's like a fantasy fulfillment for a fantasy situation to begin with. And I'm always kind of like, this is just so weird and layered and like, I'm not sure why.
Cecil
Yeah, it's.
Theodore
Well, I mean, they.
Cecil
All the ones that I tend to hear over and over that are just in my algorithm are obviously AI for some little. Little man who has a problem that gets to then. Because it's never like. And then I was.
Theodore
Nothing wrong with being a little man.
Vivian
Let's be clear.
Cecil
No, no, no.
Theodore
But it's fair.
Cecil
I mean. I mean, metaphys metaphorically. A little man.
Theodore
Yes.
Cecil
It's. It's one of those things where it's like, not only do I get to destroy her, but her family, friends, anybody who's looked at her, she's. She. They. She ends up back on my porch.
Theodore
Six months, screaming and crying.
Parenting Expert
With the baby.
Cecil
For some reason. That happens a lot. I also contacted producer Jensen at one point because for some reason, the AI has now decided that in literally the last, I'd say, three or four stories that I've listened to, the guy that gets cheated on. The woman cheats with a guy named Jensen. What?
Theodore
Yes.
Cecil
So Jensen has become the name that they've picked. They always meet. There's always the same thing.
Theodore
Is always making all of these.
Cecil
Yeah, he's out there. Like, what have you been doing?
Parenting Expert
And by the AI, you mean Jensen.
Theodore
Wow, that's a strange name.
Cecil
That's what I said.
Theodore
Because I always feel like. I mean, there's definitely, like, certain names that become like, the guy.
Vivian
Right.
Theodore
Like Chad. Like, there's like those.
Cecil
Yeah, yeah. No, but this is. They always meet. It's always. It starts the funniest. They're always like, hi, I'm Jeff, 32, male. And it's like, that's When I met Carol at my friend's barbecue. It's always at a friend's barbecue where he meets a person and then it finds out. It's always the same thing. And then I started noticing red flags. She started turning her phone over. Like it was always. It's always about the phone. She changed her password, right? She did this. So. Yeah. So I'm watching Susan like a hawk.
Parenting Expert
Exactly. Changes the minute she changes her password.
Cecil
Yeah. Oh, my God. Mocks my manhood.
Theodore
So are there female versions of this? Like, because, I mean, these are the ones that we've been doing are very clearly driven by misogyny and.
Cecil
Yeah.
Theodore
Like, their fantasies of, like, men. It's like.
Cecil
Yeah.
Parenting Expert
Not just about the revenge. About the woman too. It's also like. And her dad is whipped by this awful mother. Yeah.
Theodore
Empowered everybody with my, you know, standing up.
Cecil
What's funny is there are plenty of them that also on my algorithm, from the woman's point of view. Yeah. Where she destroys the man's life and then regrets it and her life has been destroyed. So even though she's talking about it.
Parenting Expert
They'Re all created by men.
Cecil
I can't believe I did this. And now I'm living in my car, I lost my job.
Parenting Expert
Are there any that are male driven? About another, Like a male friend, Like a betrayal by a male for at least it's man on man.
Cecil
Crime families too, though. There's a lot of. Like, my family kicked me out of my house and they didn't realize that I was paying their rent, so now I kick them out in the.
Parenting Expert
I kind of like that idea.
Cecil
There's. Yeah, it's, you know, it's things like that. It's. Oh, the big one that you get a lot of is my brother impregnated my fiance and my parents sided with them. Those are like that story after story of those and it's like, you know, my. Then I had to go to my parents and my parents are like, well, you know, they're meant to be. And now there's a baby in the picture. So I left for five years and when I came back, I bought their house and burned it down and peed on the ashes. It's like stuff like that where you're just like, oh, my God. Yeah.
Theodore
And then I cooked them into a strange soup and fed them to their parents and then.
Parenting Expert
And then told them at the end.
Theodore
At the end.
Parenting Expert
Your child.
Theodore
God.
Vivian
Reddit.
Cecil
Are the modern day Grims fairy tales. They really are.
Theodore
They really. It's like this weird subconscious Release of, like.
Cecil
Yeah.
Theodore
Oh, it's. It kind of bums me out, I'll be honest.
Cecil
Oh, they're wonderfully awful.
Theodore
Yeah. It's funny when I listen to, like, you doing them and reading them, but I. I don't know, it really kind of makes me sad for the American psyche.
Cecil
Yeah, it's.
Parenting Expert
Well, I think, to be fair, it's a very niche. It's a very niche. Okay, sorry.
Theodore
Niche thing.
Parenting Expert
Yeah. I don't. I would say that I think this is a. This is kind of what Reddit is a little bit known for. Right. It's where Reddit gets its. Its bad connotation. It's like, it's a little bit of a place for kind of the worst thoughts of humanity to come out. To come out in an anonymous.
Cecil
So it's longer. Twitter.
Parenting Expert
Yeah, exactly.
Cecil
So, but do.
Theodore
But don't you think that there are people the same way that, like, you know, if you read Penthouse Forum back in the day, which I think those are real. Right. It was like, you know, they fed into the sort of male fantasies of, like, there are stewardesses out there just waiting to have foursomes with me and, you know, whatever. And, like, that probably wasn't great for a whole generation of men to think was real. Right.
Parenting Expert
Right. Or. Yeah.
Theodore
Is this good to feed? Like, is this good for guys be fantasizing about, like.
Cecil
Because it's one.
Theodore
Like, if there was ever a story where it was like. And then I took it in stride and I decided to just move on with my life and find a partner who was, you know, it's always like. And then I sent the video of her having sex to her dad.
Parenting Expert
Exactly.
Theodore
And it's like, jesus, dude. Like, yeah, right. It's like the fulfill. I don't know. It's.
Cecil
That's one of the reasons why I. Because they're so absurd. It's so ridiculous. Where. And that's why you get titles like this. Where. You'll see titles where it's like, my girlfriend cheated on me at our bachelorette party, so I spent the next five years destroying her life. It's like, dude, move on. That's the point of it is you go, all right, well, thank God that happened at the bachelorette party. You didn't actually get married right now. Go live your life. Get your ring back.
Theodore
Live your life.
Cecil
Make sure she gets fired, destroy her parents and move on. Everyone knows that.
Parenting Expert
Everyone knows that's what you do. Well, this. Although made writers sad. This is the first time we've done it all in the same room together.
Cecil
I think we should keep it.
Parenting Expert
I was gonna say I think so too. I think we actually just keep it and air it. Air it the way it was. It's. It was so funny. So, yeah. Anyway, we just get crazier here. Thank you all for listening to this episode of Pod Meets World. Hey parents, quick question. When's the last time you won snack time? Yesterday I packed a granola bar so Old Adler asked if it was a dinosaur fossil. So it's been a while. And that's why Mott's no Sugar Added Applesauce pouches are perfect to keep on hand. Real apples, no added sugar and the pouch? It's Snack Times mvp. Minimal mess. Maximum peace. It's even got vitamin C. Kids love it. Parents don't mess it up. Win win Mottz Real apples make real good applesauce.
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Learn more@mottz.com hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for.
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Pod Meets World: Episode Summary
Title: It Came From Reddit: My Fiancé Mocked My Manhood at Our Engagement Dinner
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Release Date: August 1, 2025
In this compelling episode of Pod Meets World, titled "It Came From Reddit: My Fiancé Mocked My Manhood at Our Engagement Dinner," host Cecil delves deep into a harrowing personal story that unravels betrayal, manipulation, and the quest for self-acceptance. The episode promises a rich narrative filled with emotional turmoil, insightful reflections, and unexpected turns, all set against the backdrop of an engagement celebration gone terribly wrong.
Cecil, a 29-year-old finance professional, shares his relationship journey with Vivian, whom he met three years prior at a corporate conference. Their bond strengthened over shared interests, culminating in Vivian moving into Cecil's downtown apartment a year into their relationship. Cecil reveals a deeply personal secret—a medical condition affecting his manhood—that he confided in Vivian during an intimate moment. He recounts the vulnerability of that conversation:
[05:24] Cecil: She held me that night and whispered that she loved me exactly as I was.
This moment fortified their trust and cemented their commitment to each other.
Six months after their engagement, Cecil meticulously plans an elegant engagement dinner at Meridians, one of the city's most exclusive restaurants. He ensures every detail is perfect—from the guest list, including Vivian's conservative father Theodore and manipulative mother Carmen, to a customized menu catering to Theodore's preferences:
[07:05] Parenting Expert: Wow, Cecil, you look skinny today.
Cecil invests heavily, both emotionally and financially, pouring around $8,000 into making the evening memorable.
The evening begins as planned, with heartfelt speeches and toasts. Theodore's initial words are sincere:
[09:16] Theodore: Cecil has become a member of our family. The love between him and my daughter, it's palpable to anyone who meets them.
However, the atmosphere takes a dark turn during Vivian's toast. Expecting a heartfelt declaration, Cecil is instead met with cruelty:
[11:25] Parenting Expert: Here’S to marrying a man who worships me. It's proof that love really does conquer all. Even when the equipment comes in travel size.
Vivian's mocking comments about Cecil's manhood leave the room in stunned silence, followed by bewildered laughter from Theodore and superficial chuckles from other guests. Feeling humiliated and betrayed, Cecil makes a dramatic exit:
[13:13] Parenting Expert: It was just a joke. Don't be so sensitive. Where are you going?
Determined to sever ties, Cecil methodically removes Vivian's belongings from their shared apartment, symbolizing the end of their relationship. Hours later, Vivian attempts to reconcile, but Cecil remains resolute:
[16:03] Parenting Expert: Baby, please let me explain. It was just a stupid joke that came out all wrong. You know I didn't mean anything by it.
Vivian's relentless attempts to mend the relationship only deepen Cecil's resolve. The situation escalates as Vivian's mother Carmen reveals her manipulative nature, confessing to orchestrating the public humiliation:
[23:45] Parenting Expert: Oh, honey, I know all about your challenges. Vivian tells me everything. How else can I give her proper guidance about managing a man like you?
In retaliation, Cecil takes strategic actions to dismantle Vivian's and her family's lives:
Legal Action: He serves restraining orders citing emotional distress and interference with business relationships.
Public Exposure: Sends explicit video evidence to Theodore, exposing Vivian's infidelity.
Social and Professional Fallout: Vivian loses her job due to the legal drama, and her ex-boyfriend Brett faces termination and relocates to Taiwan.
Throughout these events, Cecil maintains his composure, focusing on rebuilding his life. He channels his energy into work, fitness, and new relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-respect and boundaries.
[33:28] Theodore: Hey, muchacho. Just wanted to thank you for helping me see what my family had become.
Cecil concludes his narrative by reflecting on the lessons learned:
[33:52] Cecil: I haven't even heard from her in months. And, oh, I kept my grandmother's ring. It's in my safe now, waiting for someone who actually deserves it.
Throughout the episode, Parenting Expert and Theodore interject with observations and humorous asides, providing a multifaceted perspective on the events. Their interactions offer a blend of levity and critical analysis, enhancing the depth of Cecil's story.
Betrayal and Trust: The story underscores the fragility of trust and the devastating impact of betrayal, especially when it involves deeply personal vulnerabilities.
Manipulation and Toxic Relationships: Vivian's and Carmen's orchestrations highlight the insidious nature of manipulation within familial and romantic relationships.
Resilience and Self-Acceptance: Cecil's journey from humiliation to empowerment serves as a testament to personal resilience and the importance of self-acceptance.
Consequences of Actions: The narrative emphasizes that actions, both intentional and malicious, carry consequences that can irrevocably alter lives.
Cecil on Vulnerability:
"[05:24] She held me that night and whispered that she loved me exactly as I was."
Vivian's Cruel Toast:
"[11:25] Here’S to marrying a man who worships me. It's proof that love really does conquer all. Even when the equipment comes in travel size."
Cecil's Final Reflection:
"[33:52] I haven't even heard from her in months. And, oh, I kept my grandmother's ring. It's in my safe now, waiting for someone who actually deserves it."
This episode of Pod Meets World masterfully intertwines a gripping personal narrative with insightful commentary, offering listeners a profound exploration of love, betrayal, and the path to healing. Cecil's story serves as both a cautionary tale and an inspiring journey of self-discovery, reminding us of the importance of integrity, boundaries, and the courage to walk away from toxic relationships.
By incorporating notable quotes and timestamps, the summary ensures that readers can navigate the emotional highs and lows of the episode, gaining a comprehensive understanding of the key themes and lessons presented.