Dana K. White (0:00)

Hey y'all. My newest book that I have been working on for the Last Five Years comes out on February 11th. In this book I am finally sharing the spiritual side of my desalabification process. The title of the book is Jesus doesn't care about your messy house. At the end of this episode I'll share more about it, but for now I'll just say that you can claim pre order bonuses now at aslobchemsclean.com Jesus welcome to a Slob Comes Clean the Podcast. I am Dana K. White. I share my personal d slobification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people. People who don't love cleaning and organizing. Thanks for joining me today. This is podcast number 4:43 and I think I'm going to call it Forests, Trees and Nail holes. Yeah, so I put out a video on YouTube. I don't remember how long ago. A month ish ago, Right? And a little thing about YouTube, in case you don't watch my YouTube channels or, or you channel or you don't realize this, I do all of my videos or as many as I can over the summer because my son Reed edits them for me. And so we've just kind of gotten into this thing where we try to get them all done over the summer so he doesn't have to work on them while he's at school. This year we did have probably five or six that I recorded for him to work on while he was home for Christmas break. But because of that I tend to not always remember exactly what's in the video that I have scheduled out or which video is coming out that day. But I know that one comes out every Thursday morning at 8:00, right? So usually on Thursdays, unless I am just completely off in another world, which I am these days. But usually on Thursday mornings I will go around 8:30 and I'll be like, oh, that's right, I gotta go check my YouTube videos. And I always kind of like hold my breath and scrunch my nose and close one eye as I look because I'm. I don't know, I really, truly. I've almost never had negative reactions, but I'm always like, well, is this going to be the one? I mean, not like I haven't. I've definitely had some negative reactions, right? But I'm always like, is this going to be the one that people are like, what? Anyway, and I. So I'M always kind of holding my breath to find out those first couple comments to go, okay, did this one go over well or not? And I couldn't remember which one this was, but I the first couple comments that I saw were people saying, oh no, absolutely not. No. And I went, wait, what was this video about? So I went and looked and, and just to be clear, the vast majority of comments were like, oh my word, this is amazing. This is great. And this video has actually done really well for me. But there have definitely been. It's been kind of divided. I would say maybe 70, 30, 70. Like, oh, this is an amazing idea. And 30 what? Never? Anyway, but here's what the video is. Okay, so the tip in the video is that when you put up decor, like on a, you know, flat surface or on a shelf or something like that, my friend Jackie uses hot glue to hold those items in place so they don't shift around and move around and topple over and turn into a mess. This episode is brought to you by Soundcore from Anchor. I'm pretty passionate about getting a good night's sleep. It's important to overall health and well being, and I'm just a nicer person when I've slept well, my Soundcore Sleep A20 earbuds block noises that might keep me awake. We live in the country which is supposed to be quiet, but the neighbors roosters are loud and they don't always wait for dawn to start their crowing. An amazing feature of Soundcore Sleep A20 earbuds is that they can monitor your sleep station status and will give you visual reports that will help you understand your sleep pattern. 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And my lamps end up unplugged, and I don't even notice them, that they've been unplugged for six months. Because I never crosses my mind to turn on a lamp, right? Like, I just flip the light switch on because that's just how I am, right? So we just. She is just always aware of the aesthetic beauty of her space, right? And she does an amazing job at it. And she has helped me so much in my own home. So we actually used to live, like, two or three houses apart from each other. And she would come and she helped me decorate my living room in my old house. She helped me when I first moved in here to kind of get it ready because we were doing a video for organizing for the rest of us, right? At that time, she helped me a little bit here. I need to have her back. But at my old house, like, she helped me figure it all out. She's the one who helped me do, like, paint my fireplace, my brick fireplace. I don't know if you'll remember that or not. So anyway, that tip that she gave me, she gave me because when she came and helped me to decorate, I said, now, Jackie, I have to tell you that I can't do little displays of things, because in her house, she's got these little tableaus or displays or whatever of just the cutest things and they're put together. And I. I just told her, I said, I can't do that because that just morphs into clutter for me. And so I need to not have that kind of stuff. So as she was helping me, I just wanted to be clear about that, right? Well, then as we were working on the bookshelf and she was arranging things, and it was not, you know, all the little displays, because she'd been very respectful of that, that I had said that. But as she put something on there, I made a comment about, well, I'll probably end up knocking it over at some point, right? And she goes, oh, oh, I just hot glue it. And I was like, wait, what? You can do that? You can hot glue stuff like that in your. She's like, yeah, I do it all the time. Now, the little disclaimer I'm going to give here is that you need to test your own surfaces in an inconspicuous spot and blah, blah, blah, before you do this. And do it at your own risk and blah, blah, blah, right? But she just said that. And I, I was like, here's the thing. I had always pictured her walking through every space with her mentality of always, you know, seeing the beauty and all this kind of stuff. I had always pictured and flipping on lamps and everything. You know, I pictured her constantly seeing these little displays. I'm sorry, y'all, my dog, there's a cow literally right outside my window. And so my dog's going crazy. Okay, you need to chill out, honey. They're not, they can't get in here. Okay? So I pictured her walking through her living room and every time she goes through, I picture her, you know, noticing that something has been shifted or moved a tiny bit and fixing it and then fixing it again and then fixing it again and fixing it again so that it always looks great. And I'm sure she does that to some degree. However, she doesn't do it near as much as I thought she would did it because she has this trick, right, that she does where she just hot glues it. And I, I really was just like, is this something that all the organized people know that they just haven't told us before? Okay, now, to be clear, in case you're freaking out right now, a lot of people on the YouTube video have said, oh, there's this stuff called museum gel or whatever to use instead. But I, I did try it out. Uh, the first time I tried it out, I was working on my, you know, I have a little course. It's like $16 for. Of a two week meal plan of like make dinner happen. Like, how to get this down? Like, how do I actually just get dinner on the table? Not fancy at all, right? And so I was filming that and I had my trip. This is my old kitchen, which was not set up well for filming stuff like this. And so I had my tripod, Tripad. Tripod on the counter. And it kept slipping and sliding because I was, you know, cooking stuff and boiling water. And so it was a little steamy and, and it just kept sliding, sliding, sliding on the counter. And I went, you know what? I'm going to try Jackie's trick. And so I put a little dab of hot glue on the linole, whatever it is, you know, it's not the fancy kind. It's not like marble or granite or anything like the old fashioned laminate countertops, whatever that. And one on my glass stovetop. And then when I was done, I mean, you just like pick it and it just came off. And there was like literally no sign that it had ever been on there. So again, I'm not guaranteeing it. It's your use it at your own risk and test it on your own surfaces, right? But it was just this moment where I went well, that made my life so much easier and was literally something I would have never thought of because I would never think I was allowed to think of that, right? So the people on the video, the 30ish percent who were like, no, no, like everybody said I would never want to damage my surfaces. I could never do that because I would never. And just the assumption that it was going to damage, even though I was saying, I've done this, Jackie does it. You know, I read her little text that she has sent me because I said before I did the video, I was like, hey, what are the parameters here? Like, what is it that you do and don't put it on? And she was like, listen, I've never had a problem on any of my actual sealed good surfaces. She says sometimes it causes little damage on my cheaper bookshelves that I had taken up to her classroom. She's a teacher, she's like, and with those, they're cheaper and I don't really care, you know, but she's like, no, it's, I, it's worth it to me. I do it. So this idea that it's going to be damaging, a lot of people just so immediately were horrified and dismissive and I'm like, okay, you know, it's fine. Like y'all do what you want to do. Enough people were also like, mind blown like me, right? But I think a lot of the point too was just this idea that a lot of us who struggle, we have reasons and excuses why we don't want to do these shortcuts, right? Or these little tips and tricks. Okay, so I'm gonna get into what this podcast is about, which is basically forest trees and nail holes, like the things that we don't think we could ever possibly do. But then the, that mentality is actually what's contributing to the space being out of control. But anyway, I do want to make sure, you know, that my coaches, my lovely coaches whom I love, they are trained and certified by me in my decluttering process, right? So they have agreed to offer a special price on a six week class that as coaches, they have the curriculum to teach a. That we created. Okay. That my team and I created. We created a curriculum where we use decluttering at the speed of life as the textbook. And you go through. It's a decluttering workshop curriculum where it's six weeks of live classes. And the value of that is that you get to participate in class discussions, you get to ask questions of your teacher. And so where I have a lot going on and so I don't therefore do a lot of live things where you're actually in a small group where you can, you know, ask all the questions. My certified coaches who have been trained by me are offering that. Okay, so it's $50 and they can charge however much they want the rest of the year, but they've agreed to participate in this promotion. If you're interested in signing up for one of those that are starting like really, really soon now go to decluttering coaches.com class and find out more. Find out if there's one in your area. Most of them are offering these classes online, but it would be great to connect with a coach in your area because then you get to know her. I think they're all women at this for this promotion, but you get to know her so that you know you'll know if that's somebody you want to work with continually in the in the future. But these are great. It's a great opportunity. Go check it out. Decluttering coaches.com class cold, dry winter weather is no friend to my skin and can leave me with a dry, itchy scalp. I've learned it may not just be the cold weather making my skin dry. 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Instead, it's like everything is out of control and I'm obsessing over this surface as the thing. And the reason I said nail holes in the title is that this is the. This is one of the things that I have experienced when coaching people through this process. Okay? As you know, my Take it There now is everything. And my whole entire process that I teach for decluttering is all based on what I've had to do in my own home, how I have had to change my view of my stuff and my space, how I've had to get my own home under control. And take it there. Now is the key. Okay, Take it There now means when I determine where this item is going to go, I take it there now so that I don't. I don't create any piles of things to do later so that I can stop at any moment because I run out of time, because I get distracted, because life happens, because I just get overwhelmed, because my energy is gone. I can stop at any time, and I'm never left with all these things hanging over my head, right? But also to face the reality of the space, right? Like that is one of those things that over time I have seen is a huge part of the value of the ticket there. Now it's to. To face reality. Is this actually, like, truly, actually a place where this item can go? Okay, so, for example, in case you're new here, if I pick something up and I say, okay, this pair of nail scissors, if I needed a pair of nail scissors, where would I look for them first? Okay? And I come up with the. I don't come up with, I'm sorry, I identify the first place where I would look. So this is not something where I know where these are going to be. I'm not confident that they're going to be there. This is not their established home. If it was, they've already left before we ever get to this process, right? Like, they've already been taken to their homes. So this is down to the stuff where I'm like, I don't know where it goes. If I needed a pair of nail scissors, where would I look first for a pair of nail scissors? And I picture myself starting the search for nail scissors. Assuming that it's probably going to take me a long time to find the nail scissors, where's the first place where I go look? Okay, I'm picturing a specific drawer in my bathroom. And so then the key to this is to then take it there. Now, because what happens is sometimes I look at this item and when I'm telling myself I have to take it there now, I realize, actually, you know what? We're never going to use these. These can just be donated, right? Because I'm thinking, I don't want to walk across the house to the drawer where I would look for these. And if they're not worth walking across the house, then actually they're not that important to me, right? Or I get to that drawer and I go to put them in there, and I realize, oh, I've got six other pairs of nail scissors, and I actually only use them on a rare occasion anyway, so because there's six other pairs in There. So actually I can take four of these because I'm not going to go so extreme to only keep one. Right. But I'm going to take four of these back with me to the donate box. Right. But I face the reality of that and I'm truly moving my home forward. Or I get there and that drawer where I say I would look for it first is completely packed full. All I have to do is say, okay, then what am I willing to get rid of in order to create the room for. For these nail scissors. Right. So facing the reality of that space is a huge part of the value of taking it there now. So when I am helping people and you know, if I run across. And this is for myself too, if I run across a. A wall hanging and I, I would ask myself, even on that, where would I look for this first? Well, you know, I've. I've been thinking I would probably put that in my entryway. Okay, I'm going to take it there now. And yes, that may mean that I need to go get my nail. Nails. Sorry, I need to go get a nail. Those little do lollies that the nail go into. Goes into. And a hammer. I need to go get those things. Yeah. I might even have to get my laser level. And all of that feels like, no, no, I've got to be decluttering. But the reality is, if I will go ahead and get that picture hung on the wall, it is no longer clutter. It is in its actual home. But as long as it is lying flat on a surface or leaned up against the wall on the floor or in a box meant to protect it from getting broken, as it's in a closet somewhere or whatever. In all of those states, it's clutter because it's not in an actual home. But once it's on the wall, even though that took me a little bit of time to go gather the things that I needed to do, needed to be able to put it on the wall and then all that, you know. Okay. So when I have helped people in the past, and I know this from my own experience as well. Okay. But one of the things that I hear in response to that is generally horror. Okay, not always, but a lot of times it's horror. And it's not about, I don't want to stop this process. It's about I don't want to put a nail hol. In the wall when I'm not absolutely 1000% sure that that is the space that it's going to be for now until Forever more when this house, eventually I move out or whatever, Right? Like, if they're not absolutely confident, they don't want to put that nail hole in the wall because it would damage the wall. Right? And so at the same time, in a lot of these situations, yes, the wall is remaining nail hole free, but there are piles everywhere and maybe only a path to walk through, if even that. And in the meantime, there are lots. Anytime that there are piles, anytime there's a room that you can't even walk in, things are getting damaged and ruined. I know this from experience. I know that as I decluttered, a lot of the things at the bottom of the pile had been damaged. And so even though in my mind I was valuing these items because I was keeping them, I thought keeping it meant I valued it. I was actually devaluing that item by keeping it. Okay? And so this idea that I could never hot glue on, and I'm not. This is not a podcast trying to convince you to hot glue. It's not even a podcast trying to convince you to put nail holes in your wall. It's a podcast telling you that I understand this struggle, but I have had to come to the point where I've had to accept that my obsession with not damaging the wall was actually self defeating and actually didn't make any sense. Okay. A pristine wall in a room that you can't actually walk into because of all the stuff. It's one of those things where you have to take a step back and go, wait a minute, how is this actually playing out in real life? The thing I say, I value taking care of stuff. Am I actually. Am I actually doing that by this? Okay, and the other thing, too is the people whose homes are under control and the people whose homes you're probably looking at going, yes, that's what I would love for mine to look like. Okay? Because Jackie's home is not a minimalist home. It's a home with lots of cute, little cool, interesting things. And I'm not saying bad, good, mental, But I'm just saying, you know, it's easy to be like, oh, no, no, I would never want my home like that. Right? Like, I would never want my home to be sparse and not have anything on the surfaces and all that. No, no, Jackie has all the things on the surfaces, which I think is what a lot of us are envisioning when we picture, you know, I want a home with interesting things and blah, blah, blah. That's very much what she's doing. And she has this trick for actually making that manageable and maintainable, right. She also has cats, which a lot of people who were like, oh my goodness, this is the best tip ever. We're like, this is going to help so much because my cats are always knocking everything over, right? So I'm like, that might be part of it, but, but like she has the home that I think a lot of us who collect all the things are actually picturing. The people whose homes are under control are not as worried about these teeny tiny details as they are about the big detail of the space being functional and beautiful. Okay? And I think those of us who have gathered, gathered, gathered a lot of stuff tend to get so obsessed with the teeny tiny details that we lose the big picture of actually this space is completely unusable and non aesthetic, you know, aesthetically embarrassing, whatever, right? Because I have just brought in so much stuff and these little teeny tiny. Oh, no, no. Perfectionism. Details of I can't put a nail hole in the wall is the thing that makes me go, well, I can't hang that picture because I can't put the nail hole in the wall. Well, if I can't hang the picture, which is actually a super easy thing to do, right, Then it all is like, well, I can't do that. That has to stay there. Okay, well, here's this other item. Let me take it there. Now. I can't do that because of this and I can't do that because of this. Like, it's all. It all works together, right? Where the way to actually make progress in your home with the no mess decluttering process is to go item by item and take it there now, complete the action for that item so you don't have to think about it anymore. Okay? So a lot of us have, a lot of us who struggle with our homes, we have a fear of final decisions. You know, I think it can feel like maybe, oh, I just. It's the permanence of deciding that that item is going to be there. But the people whose homes are under control, they're willing to experiment. That is the thing that I have noticed as a big, huge difference between people whose homes are generally under control and me. Okay. And I've had to come farther this way. I mean, at this point, my house, I would say, yes, is under control. Right? But I still find that this is not the natural thing to me, the willingness to experiment and hang something up that I'm not absolutely sure how it's going to look and I'm not absolutely sure If I'm going to love it in that space, I resist that. Like, I just go, oh, I'm not sure yet. I'm not absolutely sure yet. Right. But then when I do it, I'm always glad that I did it. Right. Partly because it got it out of the space and so it's not clutter anymore, but also because it's nice. Like it's, it's enjoyable for me to see this space that, that's actually under control. Right. But I think it's that fear of final decisions. It's a lack of confidence in what I'm actually going to want. But so many times the reason it's hard to be confident that I'm going to know how I want it to look is because I can't picture what it's going to look like because of all the clutter in the space. Right. Like, there's so much stuff in the space. Especially when we're talking about a room that is, you know, you can't even really get into it or there's only a path because there's waist high clutter or whatever. There's piles everywhere. That means that I don't have a picture of what this room really looks like because visually there's piles of stuff everywhere. Okay. And we might try to remember, well, what did I envision when, before I actually moved into this space when it was empty and I had a vision for things. But then all this stuff came in and the stuff being there is the reason why I can't figure this out. Right. And it's a valid thing to skip it and move to the next thing. You know, like skip, skip, skip the hanging it up and go to the next thing. Go to the next thing. But I think it actually gets you there better if you will go ahead. And knowing this may not be the final decision, I might end up with a nail hole in my wall. I'm going to take it there now by putting it on, on the actual wall. Okay. Like that, that change in how you see things and look at things is incredibly powerful in moving you toward actually making the progress that you want to make. Right. Because. And this is one of those things I've been saying so much lately is like so many times we, we look at how I want things to be perfect. I want my home to have this specific look. But then we have all this stuff in the way that it's so hard to even. Like we can't even envision the difference between. We can envision it, but we can't envision how to get from where we are to where we want to be. And the way you get there is one item at a time, right? It's one out of item at a time. Final decision by final decision and acting on that final decision. And it's the final decision part of it that freaks a lot of us out. Okay? People whose homes are under control aren't as worried about permanence. They're more willing to experience. We don't realize they're experimenting the way that they know they're experimenting. Okay. Like, we may see something and we don't know that. They maybe tried it 16 different ways before they actually got it to that. Or maybe they don't even think that it's necessarily the end. They're like, oh, I kind of like it. But I don't know. I'll figure, you know, they're willing to let it be something that shifts and evolves and changes. Okay? The other thing, you know, I think there's a lot of us, we want. If I'm gonna do this thing, I want it to be permanent. I want it to be done. I love things that are done, right? But if y'all know me, you know that this I want to put my time and effort into things that I know are gonna have been worth my time is also very related to that same mentality of how I used to just put off the daily things. Put off doing the dishes, put off, you know, what's the point of doing a five minute pickup when there's actually so much to be done? Shifting that and changing that was transformational for me in my home. Realizing that the maintenance tasks are actually where it's at. Like, that's the most valuable stuff I can be doing is the boring daily stuff is the stuff that does not have a permanence to it. Right? Like I always say, I have a project brain. I'm great at projects. And yes, there are a lot of things that we can treat as projects and really throw ourselves into. But the reality is my house is not a project. And as long as I treated it like a project that I was going to be done and finished with, then I never made real progress in my home, right? Like, it just. It would build up and build up because I was like, I don't want to do that. I want to do something that actually has permanence, well, then the things I was not doing were causing, you know, me to never actually get anywhere in actually changing my home. So that mentality is very similar here. Like, I don't Want to do that small thing? I want to do the big thing. Except that the small things are required for the big thing to work. So the experimentation, the knowing it may not be permanent. And yes, I'm going to put a hole in the wall. I mean, here's the thing. Your friends, your people that you know whose homes are beautifully decorated, I want you to look, I, I want you to look around the next time you're there and see are there any nail holes? And not as a criticism, as a freedom to you to go, like, are there nail holes where maybe they used to have something hanging and they don't anymore. Pay attention because I think you're gonna find that the reality is the person whose home is beautifully decorated goes ahead and tries it. Don't let the obsession over the tiny detail keep you from seeing the big mess. Right? We also are idealists. We want to do the very right thing. We're the same people who sort out all of our stuff into all these piles of the very most perfect people that, you know, things would go to. You know, like, this is me. This is what I used to do. I would go through my kids clothes and I would make all these piles. I can remember having a guest room bed. So this would have been before my second kid was even out of his crib, right. Like I remember looking at that space and going, I remember that bed being covered in all these little piles of, you know, here's stuff that will go to so and so who has a kid this age. Oh, this stuff will go to this person who's pregnant right now. And this is going to go to this and, and this is going to go to this. And I would say nine times out of 10, I never did all those really perfect details of making sure it all got to the right person. And instead I ended up just continually being overwhelmed with stuff. Right? Because those piles would sit there or they would be in these neat little, you know, sacks that I was going to take to different people. And then I couldn't remember which one was going to go to whom. And then it lasted too long and they went ahead and had that baby. And that baby grew out of those clothes that you, I mean, like before I ever got it to them, right? So all of these, like trying to do the very best thing at the expense of the big picture. It's a real hang up for people like us. Okay? So I just want to point this out that one of the things that I have learned from people whose houses are under control and are the way that I, you know, admire and was always like, I want my house to be like that is they don't sweat the small stuff quite as much as we do. It's cold outside, so this time of year is indoor time. My friend Jackie has indoor cats and her house always smells great. You'd never know there's a litter box in it and she's so excited to be trying out Pretty Litter for me so that I can tell you all about it. Pretty Litter has a non clumping formula that traps odor and moisture. It's ultra absorbent, lightweight, low dust, 16 pound bag works for up to a month. 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