A (5:12)
Now I'm not saying that this is some strict decluttering process because however you get stuff out of your house is great, right? But I can guarantee progress if you will follow my method. So I think it's important to dive into those three steps and explain why it isn't possible to struggle with those steps in order to give you freedom to not struggle with those steps anymore. Okay. I'm not saying if you struggle with those steps, it's hopeless. I'm actually here to go. If you struggle with that step, that's your sign that you're done with the step, you have already succeeded and move. You're ready to move to the next step if you're struggling with it. Here's what I mean. As I said, these three steps are decision free. They do not have any decisions like, they are angst, decision, analysis, free. Okay, so when I say trash, I'm talking about obvious, actual trash. That's obvious and actual to you. It is all from the perspective of the person who is doing the decluttering. I, yes, I do train people to lead people through this process, but the decisions or the action that doesn't even require a decision all comes down to the person who is actually improving their own space. Okay, so it is your perspective that matters here. It is not my perspective. I'm never going to tell you this is trash. I'm going to let you look for obvious trash. And so if it is not obvious to you, then that's not what we're talking about in this step. Okay? And that's what I mean when I say it's not possible to struggle with obvious trash. Because trash, by definition, my definition, because I wrote the definitions right, is the easiest of the easy stuff. If it feels hard, then that's not what we're talking about. You'll get to that later. There are other steps. Steps four and five are there for the things that are harder. But in the beginning, it's really, truly just a way for me to get started with zero pressure. And so if you're feeling pressure, then it's time to move to the next step. Okay? So my goal here is to take that pressure off of you. And often just the pressure being gone is the thing that makes me realize, okay, oh, wait, I don't have to look and decide and. And wrestle with myself to decide something's trash. No, I am literally just looking for actual trash that's already actual trash to me. Hey, I'm looking at my desk right now. Like, I'm actually talking about, like, right now. And I go, is there. Yes, there is a container of the seaweed snacks that I just ate earlier this morning. Right? Like, that is actual trash. When I just look at my desk and I go, oh, my goodness, I need to decide if some of this stuff is trash, then I automatically am resisting the easiest stuff because I'm in this angst mode and it feels like I need to be making a hard decision, which then help keeps me from being able to see the easy decision. But if I am focused on, you know, what I am only looking for, I am allowed to skip past, ignore, not think about, not analyze anything that doesn't feel easy. I'm just looking to identify if something is easy. Okay? And once I do that, if I find something, awesome. If I don't find anything, I haven't failed. I'M ready to move to the next step. Okay, so do you get what I'm saying? It isn't possible to struggle with the trash step. Because if I'm struggling, that's not obvious trash to me. Okay, so we skip past that or we, we just move to the next step. We're not even saying I'm skipping. I'm just moving to the next step. Because if I get all the way through the five steps, I'm going to deal with every single item in this space and the reality of the size of the space. But it's perfectly fine, right? It's what is trash, obviously, to you, with zero angst, zero analysis, zero decisions. All right, so then I move to the easy stuff. Easy stuff is easy. Right? And what I mean by that, how I define easy, is what in this space do I already know what to do with? Like, what in this space doesn't require any kind of thought or analysis or decluttering questions, or should I should not? No, it's like something, it has an established home already. You know, I'm not deciding on a home at this time. I am literally just saying, is there anything here that I do know where it goes? That's what makes it easy. It might be physically difficult for me to lug that thing to wherever the home is, but we're talking about decision free, easy stuff, like anything. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, there's my headphones. Yes. They go in this cabinet right here. I'm not asking myself the where would I look for first question. Because I don't even have to ask myself that question. I already know where these things go. Okay, so if I come across something that makes me go, oh, no, then that's not what I'm talking about, and that's not what I'm doing in this step. And if I have dealt with the easy stuff, the things that I do know where they should go, like, I do know where they belong, right? Like they already have established homes. Then once I don't see any more things like that, I can move on to the next step. I will always continue to find trash even after I'm on step five. I'll still run across trash. I'll still run across easy stuff. But these first two steps is a matter of looking and saying, you know, what is obvious? Trash. What is obvious? Easy stuff. And let me get it out of here. Every time I take something away when I come back to this space, it is a little bit less visually overwhelming. The fact that it's a little less visually overwhelming means that other things become more obvious to me. Right? That other trash or easy stuff that maybe I didn't see the first time, but that's fine, right? Like, it's perfectly fine if I didn't see it the first time. I can. I could go, is there any trash? I don't see any trash. Okay, well, then successfully move to, like, that first step is look for trash and throw it away if you see it. But if you don't see it, you haven't failed. You just move to the next step. And let's say I didn't see any trash. And then I go, is there anything easy in here? Okay, there's one thing that's easy. Well, I take that thing out, the space becomes a little less visually overwhelming. I may come back and see some trash this time. Great. Trash cans right there. Trash bag, recycle bin, whatever I've got. And then I asked myself, is, what else is easy? Is there anything else in here? Okay, yeah, well, this can go. And it. It builds upon itself. Even if I don't find anything easy. Okay. I haven't failed because it. If it caused a bunch of angst and analysis, it's not easy. Right. And then I go to the third step, which is the obvious donations, which. This is the one that I think made me write it down in my notes to do a podcast on this. Right. I don't remember where was, but somebody was. Was telling me, you know, that they're really struggling with finding obvious donations. And that's why I want to give you the freedom to say that if you're struggling, it's not an obvious donation, you're free to move to the next step. So. So there is no struggle. It isn't possible to struggle over an obvious donation. I think what happens is we see something and the first reaction is, shouldn't have that. Why in the world do I still have my Cabbage patch doll from 1984? Like, what, I don't need that. And. And I shouldn't blah, blah. And, you know, my kid is now older than. She didn't want it and she didn't play with it, and I had saved it for her and blah, blah, and all these things. And so it feels like I'm struggling with an obvious donation, except that if I'm struggling, it's not an obvious donation. Okay? So that means if I'm having those feelings, that's not what I'm talking about in this step. 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Okay, if you feel bewildered, if you feel like you're struggling, if you feel guilty, if you feel frustrated, if you feel angsty, any of those feelings, then you go, okay, well then that, that isn't part of this step. And I don't have to worry about it right now. I just want to give you that freedom to know that. Okay, so when you move to the next step, you're going to deal with everything. You know, I know I had a been a couple years now, but, you know, I did a podcast with someone who officially, you know, struggles with hoarding disorder, right. And so she was talking about how she had found success and she never had been able to before with the five step process. With my five step no mess process. Right. And so she, she specifically said, I can't see trash. That is part of her struggle. She can't see trash. So not being able to see trash doesn't mean you can't do this process. It just means you look, you're like, okay, I didn't see any trash. I'm going to move to the next thing. So she found her example that she gave was even was that the two decluttering questions help her with every single thing. Even what somebody else would say is trash, right? So she'll pick up the gum wrapper and say out loud, if I needed this gum wrapper, where would I look for it first? And then her brain would, would answer in the trash can. Right? Like that's where it should go. But even if your brain doesn't answer the trash can and says, oh, I would look for a used gum wrapper in, you know, the specific drawer over there, Whatever, take it there now, like, follow it all the way out. Because here's the other thing. When you have been shamed in the past, the reaction is, oh, no, I can't do this thing. Right? You don't trust any of your own. Or maybe some of you don't trust your own instincts in this. Right? This process is meant for you to learn to trust your own instincts and yet still not keep things that don't have a place in your home and don't need to stay in your home, right? So it's. This is the way to carry it all the way out. So if I'm just saying, is this gum wrapper trash? Is it not? Is it trash? Is it not? Is it trash? Is it not? I'm stuck, so I don't want to be stuck. So I move on to the next thing. Is it trash? Doesn't look like trash to me. Okay, then I'm going to move on. But when you get to the point of, where would I. If I needed a used gum wrapper, an empty used gum wrapper, where would I look for it first? Then you carry it all the way out. And for her, she realized, oh, wait, I would never go looking for a used gum wrapper. But if you have, oh, actually, I do crafts with used gum wrappers. Okay. Like, there's no shaming in this process. It is just, we're going to carry it all the way out. Okay, then go take it to where you would look first for this craft project that you say you would use. Use gum wrappers. Well, sometimes it's a. I just had an ambiguous idea of, you know, what you could do with a used gum wrapper is you could make a miniature mirror for a dollhouse. You could use that gum wrapper, and it would be. It would be kind of shiny and silvery. See, this is how my brain works, y'all. I could do this stuff anyway. It's the reason I have to use the container concept and not could I ever use it. I can't use that in my whole thing. Right? Like, and we're not asking, could I ever use it? Instead we're saying, if you needed a used gum wrapper, where would you look for it first? So we're not asking, why would you need a used gum wrapper? Because I can come up with, okay, you may do this. It's off the Top of my head, I could make a mirror for a dollhouse. I could use it as foil in the Barbie house to, you know, wrap up leftover Barbie food. I could use it as foils on the Barbie's hair in the beauty shop for a Barbie. I could. I don't know. I'm sure I could come up with a lot of other things that I could do with it. Right. I'm just telling you. That's why we don't ask these questions. That's why we don't ask, could I ever use it? Is it useful? Is it, you know, is it a good thing? Of course it's a good thing. Right? But instead we say, if I needed this, where would I look for it first? Okay, so if I. Yeah, I could totally use that in a craft. All right. Where would I look for it first? If I don't actually have a place where I would look for it first, that's what will trigger in my brain through the second decluttering question. Would it ever occur to me they already had one, that actually it needs to go. But if I have a place where I would look first for gum wrappers, then I need to take it there now and face the reality of that space. Is this space already full to the top with gum wrappers? Okay, it's already full to the top with gum wrappers because I've been sticking them here for the last six years thinking I was going to make one Barbie mirror. And in reality, I never have. So this one can go. So it carries it all the way out. It solves the problem. But, y'all, every time I do that, and I have to go through this whole process, the next time I have something similar, either another gum wrapper or another similar type item, the experience that I had in doing it that one time of going all the way up the stairs and then down the hallway and then up to the attic stairs. I don't know. We don't have attic stairs in Texas, but you know what I mean? Maybe people do, but I don't. But, you know, all this way, I'm going through all this trouble for a silver gum wrapper, and I get there and I realize, oh, my goodness, there's like 10 years worth of gum wrappers in here. What? You know, that experience is the thing that next time, whether it's a gum wrapper or something else, it's going to look different to me because I'm going to have experience of, oh, actually, you know what? That can go. And so now it might be obvious Trash to me. The next 10 gum wrappers might be obvious trash to me, right? But carrying it through, there is going to be a solution if it's not obvious trash right now. That's not what I'm talking about, okay? If you look for trash and someone else would say, there is so much trash here and you don't see it, you still succeeded because you were looking for obvious trash to you, okay? And you get to move to the next step. And it's the same way with donations, right? Like, I named this one. What did I name it? I. What did I name this one? I named this one. It isn't possible to struggle with debt donations, okay? When I wrote decluttering at the speed of life, I used DUH donations. And people often really, really want to know what DUH stands for. And I think some people even made up some stuff that it stands for, which was really cute, but I can't remember what it was. But I'm always like, no, it doesn't stand for anything. It's not. It's not decluttering unused home something. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying, like the actual thing that I say because I am a child of the 80s, duh, when I realized, wait, why do I already have this? So some examples of DUH donations are shoes that hurt my feet. That if I am looking at my closet and I have it as a category in my head of what is actually something that can obviously go, then that's when I'm looking at my closet and I. And it reveals itself to me that, wait, those shoes hurt my feet. Wait, those jeans fall down. You know, they don't fit my body shape or whatever. Oh, that sweater is too itchy. You know, those are the things. But. But often if I. Well, not often, but the reality is, if I don't ask myself the question, are there any obvious donations in this space with purpose, purposefully asking, is there anything obvious in here? Then I don't see it. I'm just kind of looking at everything going, there's so much. And I know there's stuff in here I should get rid of. But having a category of is there trash? Is there anything I already know what to do with that belongs somewhere else? Easy stuff. Is there anything that is an obvious donation frees me to just go ahead and get those things out and every single thing that leaves during these first three steps, these decision free steps makes it less overwhelming and there's fewer items for me to go through one by one, asking Myself, the decluttering questions about, okay, so I look at this space and I give myself permission to just look for the most obvious of obvious things. But if I look at my shoes and I'm like, well, this one hurts my feet and this one is, you know, from before I had kids. And so they're too small now because your feet grow when you're pregnant, you know, and. Oh, this one. Yeah, these are out of style. Whatever. Okay? I got rid of all that. And then I come across and I'm doing great. And then I come across one and I go, oh, these hurt my feet too. But I really love them. And they're literally the only thing that I can wear with any, any dress at all. And they're closed toed. And I just don't have anything else that I can wear with this category of clothing that's close toed for the summer, not summer, winter. Like, that's my brain. And so I'm starting to go, oh, yes, these, these should be obvious. These should. These, these shoes should be obvious. But they just. I don't know, I just can't make myself. Then they're not obvious. Okay? And that angst, that, that feeling, that bewilderment means I'm off base. It means that that's not a donation. So that was the point of the title of this podcast. It isn't possible to struggle with duh, obvious donations. Okay? If it is, you know, easy stuff like, oh, yes, I already. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, what's easy? I need. I know where this needs to go. Okay. It's something that already has an established home. Yes, my headphones have an established home. Wait, where was that? Hope? Wait, what did I say I was gonna do with those? Oh, my goodness. Oh, yes, I know what to do with these. I know in that situation, it's not actually easy anymore because I'm having all that, those angsty feelings. And if it's not actually easy anymore, then I need to skip it. I've heard about these things called peptides that are supposed to keep my skin soft and youthful and healthy. But the peptides in some products just sit on top of your skin. That's where OneSkin's OsO1 peptide is different. It goes deeper. 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