Verizon Ad Speaker (16:38)

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Dana K. White (17:08)

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Or is it a not taking it there now issue because we've conditioned ourselves to not bother to walk down the stairs each time trying to determine which to focus my family on since we're all guilty. The thing to focus your family on is the five minute pickup. Things getting left on the counter is not something to beat yourself up about. I mean, don't beat yourself up anyway, but, you know, I mean, like, it's not something to be like, oh no, this is a failure. It's not a failure to leave something on the counter, right? Like, I know there are people who are like, just don't put it down, Put it away. And I'm like, great. Except that I have literally no clue when I put something down, y' all. So my decluttering coaches, we had a retreat and I had run in and I came back to the decluttering coaches and I was like, I don't know what where my shoes are because I had slip off shoes. And I'm like, I literally have no idea where I took them off. No clue, because that's me, right? And we all laughed about it because we all understand each other. By the way, if you need somebody to help you through my no mess process, go to decluttering coaches.com because my coaches are the most amazing, lovely people. Everybody listed on that site is trained and certified by me in my no mess decluttering method to lead you through the method. Okay? All right. But so setting it down is not the issue. The issue is you got to do your five minute pickups so that they don't live there for months on end. Okay? That's what keeps it from living there for months on end. Now, as you do your five minute pickups, you're going to learn some things, okay? Because it says something about walk down the stairs each time. If you're doing a five minute pickup, then you pick those things up and you go, put them away. But if you're walking down the stairs every day, or if you're resisting walking down the stairs every day, then that's when you go, you know what? Let's eliminate down the stairs as the spot for this and say, okay, if I'm not going to walk down the stairs, where would I look for this first? And then make that its home. Okay? And you may still set it in this random place, but it's more likely that you're going to just quickly put it in the actual place where you would look for it first. If the doubt walking down the stairs is removed from the equation. Right? Because what happens as you do the five minute pickups is you're like, okay, every single day I move this from here to three feet away. Okay? And then as you do that, you go, as you're setting it down because of that repetitive action of moving it into its home, you're more likely. Not guaranteed, but you are more likely to realize, oh, actually I can just set this in its home and then I won't have to do that during my five minute pickup. Okay, but you specifically brought up, is this a clutter threshold issue? And the five minute pickup is the way to know if something is a clutter threshold issue. Okay? So the five minute pickup is the way to know, are you, as a household under your clutter threshold? Your clutter threshold is the amount of stuff that you personally or your family can easily or the people living in your house can easily keep under control. Okay? Unique to you, different for everybody. Like, you know, my clutter threshold is different than my mom's and blah, blah, blah. And in the family, it's like, what can we as a family or a household keep under control easily? If 5 minutes is not enough time to get a space back under control consistently, then we do have too much stuff and we need to get rid of it. Okay? The other thing too is if things are just kind of, if the things feel like they live on this surface, and you said something about the place, the items belong are too cluttered to put things away. Being purposeful about decluttering this pile of things that has been there for a month and where would I look for it first, you know, or it's easy because you do already know where you would look for it, but that place is cluttered. Okay, so open it up and go. Okay. If this place is cluttered, it's not that I have to completely and perfectly clear this space in order to be able to put this away. Instead, it's what can I remove from this cluttered space that clearly things need to leave anyway? What can I remove from this space in order to make the room that I need for this item that actually does belong there? Right. So ideally it's going to be trash or an obvious donation. Something needs to leave that space to make the room. If I want it to be as easy as possible to put it away, well, then I might remove some extra things to give lots of space for it to be able to put away easily. That doesn't mean you're not going to declutter that cabinet. But what I would say is the first thing to do is to declutter the pile on the counter, Asking yourself where you would look for it first. Putting it in that spot, especially if it's something nearby that's just a cluttered cabinet. Okay, Put. Putting it in that spot, removing stuff to make the room for it. Once that countertop is clear, then go into that cabinet that you've already made some progress on because you've already gotten some trash and obvious donations out of, and really dig deep into getting the. Getting that space decluttered too. But do those surfaces first. Okay. And you do that by removing just enough to put those things away. All right. Decluttering advice for couples who are moving in together but have previously lived in their own houses. Both have all the furniture and dishes, etc. So I'm super excited because my friend Melissa and Ken. My friends Melissa and Ken are getting married. So they were like, hey, let's do a video of us, you know, combining our households. And I'm like, oh, my word, that would be so fun. So I'm hoping I'll actually get to do that. But this, first of all, how exciting, right? Like, it's exciting, but it's also stressful, especially when I know Melissa and Ken. They both their own full, complete apartments, like, everything they need. So they have all the dishes they need and all the pots and pans they need and all the furniture they need and all this. So it's an opportunity to basically shop from each one. Okay, now the first step, like, the number one thing to do is for each of you on your own or together, helping each other, whatever, but to declutter each space on its own first. Like, the same way That I tell people when they're moving, the first thing to do is to declutter the space you've already got. Because if it's something you don't want here, you're not going to want it there. And it just needs to leave and not be part of the whole always overwhelming, no matter the situation, moving process. Right? So really zero in first on just decluttering. Like, let's, let's get rid of all the things that don't need to be here anyway and declutter pretty hard because you know that you're going to be bringing things together, right? So it's kind of like, okay, you know, he's got three skillets and a soup pot, and I've got two skillets, a soup pot and a. I don't know, what are the other things? Saucepan, right? And you're like, okay, well, you go, okay. Actually, realistically, he only uses the one skillet. Maybe the other one. I could at least get rid of one skillet, maybe two. And then she's like, okay, I could get rid of a skillet. And you know what? I never do use this saucepan. I always just use the soup pot instead, blah, blah, blah. So, you know, you go ahead and do that so that when you then are either combining into one space or taking the two houses of things into the new space, you're picking the best, okay? So you're, you're only picking the best of the best as opposed to looking at all the stuff. Because the more stuff you have, the more overwhelming it is. It's just fact, right? So in the new house, in the new place, it's. Oh, I really, really like these plates. Okay, well, okay, I really. You know what? I actually like them better than these plates that were already here. So I'm going to replace. So really keep it in. You know, like you're picking the best one and you're replacing an item. So it's not just adding the. The plates from one household in with the other plates from another household, from the original first one or whatever. When you're moving into. Instead, it's okay, this is the space that we have. This container is the space that we have. This shelf for plates is the limit to how many plates we can have. So we're gonna. Out of the two different households of options, we're gonna pick the favorite ones and put them in there first. Okay? Yeah. But it's exciting. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. How many times did you hear money doesn't grow on trees when you were growing up. It is true that phrase doesn't actually teach anything about saving and budgeting. Greenlight is a debit card and money app great for families give their kids experience with saving, investing and spending. Parents can choose the chores feature, rewarding their kids with a customized allowance and you can send money to your kids when they need it while keeping an eye on their spending and saving. Kids and teens build confidence and good habits with this easy, convenient app. Greenlight helps parents raise financially smart kids while helping them navigate life together. 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Verizon Ad Speaker (28:08)

When you think of hot you might think about the tragic time you ate too much wasabi, or about getting into your car on a summer day when it feels more like stepping into a sauna. But heat can work in your favor. Like during Verizon Red Hot Deal days. Get hundreds of hot deals on all your favorites like iPhone 16 Pro with Apple Intelligence, Apple Watch Series 10 and iPad on any plan only until May 28th for new and existing customers. Offer available on MyPlan only at Verizon.

Dana K. White (28:41)

Okay, I think I have time for two more questions. Here we go. Dana My mom passed away a year and a half ago. I'm sorry. This week I decided to go through her clothes that were still in bags at my apartment. I threw out stained and ripped clothes trash. I am washing the rest and then donating them. Same with some of my deceased uncle's sweatshirts and coats. I'm keeping my mom's favorite fleece coat and my uncle's jean jacket. Just one item each in memory. I am donating five bags of clothes. So proud of myself. But how do I get rid of keepsakes that my mom loved but I don't need so hard to let go. First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. I mean, you've done amazing, right? Like, I'm so proud of you. But I know you don't know me. And so it can feel weird when people who don't know you say you're proud of you. But I'm just saying, like I'm be so proud of yourself. Like, this is huge. This is hard. I also want to point out to others who have been through this kind of grief very recently. I want you to see that it's been a year and a half. Okay. You. You don't have to do these things immediately. It's okay to give yourself some time. So I'm proud of you for giving yourself some time. But you understood with clothing. And I think sometimes with clothing, it's like, well, clothing is very personal. And so maybe you're like, okay, maybe I couldn't wear my mom's coat, or I, you know, I couldn't wear my mom's clothing. And so, you know, obviously, you know, that. That makes it kind of easier, right, to not keep all of it, although it can be very difficult. So I don't want to say it's easy for anybody who it is difficult for, but so it can feel that way, like, oh, okay, well, that makes sense. But then these keepsakes that your mom loved but you don't need, then it becomes like, well, technically, you know, there's no fit required for a spoon from Holland. Have I used that recently? I feel like I've used that example. But there's no. There's no. There's no actual, like, spoon from Holland. Okay, that doesn't fit. And so technically, yeah, I could keep it, but blah, blah. The same thing that you did before where you kept your mom's favorite fleece coat and your uncle's jean jacket, I'm assuming, because those things can fit in your closet and not take up the space. My husband just the other day was saying, you know, still got an entire outfit of my dad's. He has a whole outfit of his dad's, but he can have it because it's in his closet and it fits, right? And so he's like, I don't know if I'm ever going to get rid of that. And I'm like, that's perfectly fine. You don't have to. You've got room for it, right? So you kind of worked it into your regular life, and it didn't. It didn't make it harder. But it sounds like these keepsakes are something that's really weighing on you, right? So think of it along the same lines. What is something. What is your favorite thing out of these keepsakes? Or your favorite two things, or your favorite three things, if you have space for them, that really bring back all the positive feelings, okay? And it may not be something that you personally have a relationship with this item, but you remember your mom having a relationship with this item, and you remember how much it meant to her. And so then that brings back the memories of her. So pick your favorites and work them into your house. I've had little trinket doodads that I just had in a drawer at one time. And I. And I would, like, I would just see it randomly as I was getting something out of that drawer, and it would bring all these happy feelings. But a lot of times it's something that is meaningful, that I'm like, okay, how can I use this item in my house? How can I give it a real spot if it's. Maybe it's. Of course I was going to say, you know, I know I use some things of my mother in law's like a little saucepan, but that you're talking specifically about keepsakes, like, that was really meaningful for us. But she had. She had a little teapot that is like a painted teapot. And I think some people said it's maybe a chocolate pot or something, but I gave it a place in my house. Like, I gave it a place of honor because it was hers. And I like it. You know, I don't love it the way that she loved it, but I love it because she loved it. Does that make sense? And so it deserves a place in my home. So, like, it's not an all or nothing. It's not a wrong or right. It is simply a. Do I have space in this home, in this. For this item in my home? And which things are the most important, that I can let the other things go and still be honoring her memory by just narrowing it down to the. The smallest things or the. The fewest things? And last question, Dana. I have saved a bunch of Mylar balloons used and deflated over the years. Now I want to get rid of them. What is the best way to do that without harming the environment? Here's what I'm going to say. I don't know. And some of y' all are like, why would she even read that question if she doesn't have an answer? My answer is, I don't know. And what I would personally do is throw them away. Okay? I don't know the best way to do it, but I do know they would need to leave my house. Okay, because you've made this decision that they need to leave your house, so get them out of the house. But the other thing to do, if you can't bring yourself to do that because you're thinking there's got to be a way, Google it, right? Like Google how to recycle mylar balloons and see what it says. Because you might. You might find out that there is a recycling center near your house that just happens to recycle Mylar balloons. But the vast majority of people listening would find out that there was no way to recycle Mylar balloons near them. There might not even be a way to recycle them. I have no idea. Because that's what I want you to know. That it's sitting in the house is one thing. Okay. It's sitting in the house. Knowing it needs to leave is where you have to go. What do I have to do to get this thing out of my house? And finding out whether you can recycle these kinds of things or whether it's even feasible for you and your lifestyle and your bandwidth to be able to do that is so often the thing that lets you let it go because you're like, oh, if I was going to recycle this, I would have to drive four hours or I would have to package it up in this special thing. Again, I have no idea what it is. And there's a reason I want you all to look it up if you need this. But like, the. The Google searching of how to do that will give you the freedom to then say, okay, so either there is no way to do it so I don't have to feel bad about throwing it away, or the way to do it is not a way that I can actually do. And so now I have the freedom to do this in this less than perfect, non idealistic way, a way that I really am frustrated about. But always remember that when you do that, it changes you, because the pain that you feel having to do the less than idealistic thing with this item is going to make you remember the next time there's a Mylar balloon that you're. And you just naturally, like out of habit, start to deflate it and you're like, wait a minute, I don't do this anymore. The reason you're going to remember that is because of the pain that you experience having to do the less than perfect thing with it. Okay? All right. I hope this has been helpful and I will talk to y' all next week. Bye.