← podcasts Archives - Dana K. White: A Slob Comes Clean
podcasts Archives - Dana K. White: A Slob Comes Clean
466: Turning Sentimental Clutter into Displays, To Do Lists, Step 2 Before Step 1?
00:50:49
As always, I’m taking time off during the summer. This year, though, we’re trying something new! We’re sharing the audio of previous live Q&As that I did on YouTube. If you only listen to the podcast, this will be all new to you!
Loading summary
Transcript28 lines
- [00:00]
Dana K. White
Hey y', all, did you know that I train and certify decluttering coaches who can coach you through decluttering your home using my no Mess decluttering process? Go to declutteringcoaches.com to find one of my coaches near you if there isn't a coach near you yet. Most of my coaches also coach virtually and we've added a first available virtual coach feature on the site. All coaches listed@declutteringcoaches.com are trained and certified by me. Welcome to A Slob Comes Clean the Podcast. I am Dana K. White. I share my personal DES lobbification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people. People who don't love cleaning and organizing. Thanks for joining me today. This is podcast number 466 and it is one of my summer podcasts. It is the audio from a YouTube live Q& A that I have done in the past. I am running these over the summer instead of not having anything go out at all as podcasts because for the last 11 years I have not done.
- [01:09]
Listener/Co-host
Podcasts in the summer because I take.
- [01:10]
Dana K. White
Time off to focus on my family. So I'm still doing that. But we're trying this as a way to give you fresh to the podcast content still coming through your feed. So don't forget, if you would like to listen to these ad free, you can go to patreon.com A slob comes clean. We do have an ad free option there at the 13 tier, so. All right, this one. Oh yeah, podcast number 466. I'm talking about turning sentimental items into displays to do lists.
- [01:48]
Listener/Co-host
Is it ever okay to do step.
- [01:50]
Dana K. White
Two before step one? And lots of other questions that I've answered here. I always like to remind you there's a different energy to these because they were live and. And that's different from me talking to myself here in the podcast studio, which is really just my office. All right, I will talk to y' all next week.
- [02:07]
Listener/Co-host
Enjoy. Here we go. How to Part with Semi Precious Jewelry. Oh yeah, I like to read the entire actual question, although I think this is actually it. How to Part with Semi Precious Jewelry. I have difficulty letting that go for free, but I'm not wearing it.
- [02:25]
Dana K. White
This episode is sponsored by gab. The youth mental health crisis is often in the news and we know that social media is a big part of that. Teens spend an average of 9 hours a day on screens outside of School, that's like a full time job. Here's some good news. A company called Gab, that's G A B B has solved the problem by doing something no one else is doing. Their approach is tech in steps. Tech in steps works by providing kids safe phones and watches that are tailored to every age and offer just the right device at right time. You'll have peace of mind with GPS tracking for young kids with the ability to increase features as they get older, parents can enable apps on the phone so you can update them on their device as your child grows. Bottom line, you can give your kid a device that was made for a kid. Helps you help your kids be connected safely. I don't claim to be an expert, but I know that when my kids hit the age when they had to have a phone to communicate with me to pick them up or for their activities and responsibilities, I wished for a phone exactly like Gab. A phone that only had the basics until they ready for a little more. Use my code to get the best deal on something that will make parenting easier and give you peace of mind. Visit gab.comslob and use code slob for a special offer. That's Gab G A B B. That's gab.comslob and Use Code Slob.
- [03:47]
Listener/Co-host
Okay, so I'm going to kind of go into a couple of different things with this. First of all, if you're not wearing it, you know, is the money the issue or is it sentimental? You know, it. Blaming the space is a great way to let go of things that you might not otherwise let go of, even if they're sentimental. You know, if sentimental is the issue, say, this is the amount of space that I have to devote to jewelry I don't wear. Sometimes just that sentence alone will trigger in you, oh, wait, I don't want to give space to something I don't wear. Okay? It needs to go. All right, so if that's the sentimental thing or if, if it's sentimental and you know, it was your grandmother's or whatever, or you even just the sentiment of I saved up and spent money on this at a certain time in my life, I'm not willing to just let it go, you know, because of all the memories attached, giving it a space that you say, okay, this small portion of this drawer is what I'm designating to this. And then I put my favorite things in there first. That naturally sorts out what you really, really love and what you don't love so much. But you always acknowledge that it can't take up room that I need for my everyday life, whether that's the things I actually wear or the, you know, kitchen utensils that I need. Because I'm just saying, like, there are those of us who have these struggles who keep, keep, keep, keep, keep all these things we can't imagine letting go go of at the expense of having room to put our potato masher that we actually use on a regular basis. Y' all know I don't because I use instant mashed potatoes, but you know what I mean, right? Like that's just a way of sorting out and giving yourself a very concrete way to let go of things. But let's talk about the money issue here because you did specifically say, I have difficulty letting that go for free, but I'm not wearing it. Here's my main thing with, with items that are, that you're holding on to because you just don't want to give it away. I'm like, keeping something in your house that you don't want is the one thing that's not an option. I mean, it's an option. Obviously you do whatever you want to do. But like, if you're wanting to have a decluttered home, it's not. You can't just keep things in your house that you don't want to. So it's like, if the idea that I don't want to let this go for free, free is the thing holding me back, then sell it. Right like that. Because so many, so many times it's an issue. I don't want to let it go for free. And so you say, okay, well then sell it. Well, I'm never going to sell it. Okay, well then let it go for free. Because it, it shouldn't. I have decided for me, it's not okay for me to just leave it in my house if I want it to go and there's just some hang up that's keeping me from letting it go. Okay, but with that, that can be very overwhelming, right? Because you're like, well, if one of the reasons I don't sell it is I don't know how to sell it, I don't know what to do. Pick one thing. Pick one item that you are most confident either for actual value or current fashion trends or whatever. You're the most confident. Oh, that right there, that really, you know, that's the one that's worth it. Okay, pick it and go through the process. Go through the process. I have a video recently where I talk about how to find out how much Things actually sell for on ebay. Just to give you an idea of actual value out there in the world. Not that you're going to sell it on ebay. Right. But go through the process with that item. Maybe that process is going to a jeweler who buys jewelry. Maybe it's just do it for the thing that you are most confident really does have value. And that experience is what is going to change your mind. It's either going to help you realize, okay, now I know what to do now I can get this stuff out of my house, or it's going to make you realize that was a lot of work. I didn't get what I thought I was going to get for that. But either way, you're going to be able to get it out because you either decided it wasn't worth my time and effort and now I can donate it, or now I know what to do to actually get what I feel like I've got to get to be able to let go of it. Either way, it's out of your house. Okay, but the thing you don't want to do is just leave it in your house. Right? Like, that's where I had to come to a decision and say, if I am convinced that I need to make money on this item, then I've got to do it. And nine times out of ten saying, okay, well, then I've got to do it, made me realize, oh, I'm never going to do that, you know, but just sitting there having the angst over it, that's where, you know, but the stuff is still in your house, making you frustrated with your house and making you not able to function and live. There you go. But like, so many times, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I do the thing where I'm like, oh, I've been thinking about this for years, and I'm like, that place that has a big sign that says, we buy jewelry, saying, I'm gonna stop by there. I'm gonna take a handful of this stuff and I am going to stop by there. I'm going to work it into my schedule. And doing that is like, that was so much easier than I expected. You know, I mean, I don't want to use up my content for a video that we'll have next year. But, like, my husband and I, we're gonna do a video on, you know, finally figuring out, you know, we'd been. We'd heard about that, you know, our town that doesn't have recycling. We'd heard about this place where you could take boxes for recycling. And so we've been saving them and saving them and saving them and it was this like, what do we do? And okay, well so, and so does it. And they say it's not hard and blah, blah. But as long as we hadn't done it yet, then the boxes piled up, right? And they stayed in the house and they were a fresh in the garage and they were a huge frustration. But it was like once we did it, once we went through that, okay, I'm forcing myself to do this thing that felt weird and scary and unknown and all that. Now it's like, oh, well, now I know what to do. Okay. Like it is incredibly freeing to just say, I'm going to do this one time, okay? And with semi precious stuff that might be the very best thing for you to do. Unless you don't have access to something like that. And in which case you need to figure out another way because you've got to do something that works in your house. Because another thing a lot of us can do is be like, well, if I lived in a big city that had places, jewelry stores that bought jewelry from people, well then I could. But if I don't live in a big city, then I think the word is moot, right? That's moot. I love that word. I wish I knew for sure I was using it correctly here. But like M O O T. It's a great word, right? Like that it's, it's a non issue. Like this is not, it's not a thing. And yet so many of us are like, but in the ideal world, But I don't live in an ideal world. I have to deal with the actual world, the actual energy I have, the actual time that I have. That's what I have to deal in. Okay, what kind of system categorizing do you use? Organizing your business documents, digital and paper. Also, do you have a separate ph and computer for your business? Lastly, what business tools have you found to be very effective? Like this Google Docs form that I'm filling out. Okay, so I have an online business, primarily online, right? And so I, I am basically like, I have to do everything online. And I've learned that the hard way, y'. All. Okay, I. Random confessions, embarrassing things. I don't know if I've ever told this. Should I really tell this live on YouTube? But anyway, years ago, like early, early, early on when I was like, I want to be a writer, I have this blog and I was making these contacts and I was writing For a. Like an actual. I'm not going to say what it was, but anyway, an actual company that was kind of an old school company and they needed me to send in actual physical invoices. And I just never got paid. I just. I just never got paid. I guess I did it for free. My brain. I was earning money, but I wasn't actually earning money because I never said. And so after that I realized, okay, well, that's part of how I make a decision about what I'm going to do. Am I going to be able to do this all digitally? Because if I can do it digitally, I'll get it done. If I have to do it in physical, actual pieces of paper, it's never going to happen. So obviously there are still some physical pieces of paper, but I try to minimize that as much as possible. With the physical pieces of paper that I do have, I use my same process, where would I look for it first, and then having a defined space within that. I like colored file folders, and generally I can get through an entire year's worth of actual physical papers for my business in one colored file file folder. Because everything else is digital, right? Because I try to keep everything digital. As far as, like, having a separate computer, I do have a computer out here in my office that kind of ended up being something that just happened. Like we kind of happened on an extra computer, which is weird. But anyway. And I love having a separate one out here. I do have a laptop that I carry back and forth to the house that allows me to be able to do some things there. But as far as, like, the last part of the question that's not here on the thing was business tools that you found to be effective, like the Google Docs form that she's filling out@askdanikwhite.com oh, my word. Google Docs, Google forms. Do y' all know that people fill out a form and then it puts all the information into a spreadsheet for you? It's the greatest thing ever. I would say Google Sheets, which is spreadsheets, is my favorite thing ever. I use that for all kinds of stuff anytime. And I don't use it for, like, formulas. I know there are other people who are like, oh, do you know how to use spreadsheets? And I'm like, probably not the way you do. I use it to organize information all the time. So keeping things together. Anybody who works for me knows I love my Google spreadsheets. Like, for example, for podcast ads, you know, we have a spreadsheet and, you know, I started with a different company and they were like, well, we can show you kind of what some of our podcasters use to set up a spreadsheet. And they saw ours, they're like, oh, you're fine, you're good, you've. Yeah, we have a system. And I'm like, and I'll add to it. I'll be like, hey, can you start putting this information in this column each time? And so it just keeps everything together because that's very helpful because it gives me a place where I would look for it first. Right. So. So, yeah, I mean, I won't go into all of that, but the reason that I like Google sheets is that I can share them with the different people who, you know, contribute to. So, like my podcast ads, spreadsheet, I have access. My assistant, who actually like, you know, deals with all the back and forth and stuff with the ad copy and things like that, she has access, the editor has access. And everybody can like, see what everybody's doing in one place. So. So, yeah, I know this isn't really something that necessarily applies to everybody, except that I will say Google forms are the best thing ever. And they're free. And if you do anything, if you organize anything, and I know that those of us who struggle with clutter tend to be the type of people to organize large groups of things. So if you are a room mom or if you are a teacher, if you are a, you know, you organize events at your church or whatever, Google forms are your best friend because it keeps all the information in one place. It puts the ball in other people's courts. You send them the link to the form, they fill out their information, and you have it all in a spreadsheet that it makes for you like magic. It's the best thing ever. Okay, I'll stop talking about that.
- [15:42]
Dana K. White
Y' all know I have decluttered a lot, like a lot a lot over the years, and that has made me pay attention to quality. I want things in my home that serve their purpose well and will last. That's why I love that at Quince, you'll find quality that fits the budget.
- [15:56]
Listener/Co-host
Their bedding, towels, kitchen essentials.
- [15:59]
Dana K. White
They strike that perfect balance of refined, functional and well priced. Their home goods are half the cost of similar brands, just like their clothing. Quince partners with top artisans, cutting out the cost of the middleman. That way they can pass the savings on to us. And I love that they only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. It's the middle of summer right now and I am loving the organic airy gauze blanket that I ordered from Quince. It's quite literally the perfect summer blanket. So soft but so light. I love it. Elevate your space with home essentials from quintessential. Go to quince.comslob for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E dot com slob to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comslob this is an ad by BetterHelp. I love working with my team. Y' all know Rachel, my podcast editor is so much help to me. Sometimes work can be a real challenge. Deadlines and communication and never ending to.
- [17:02]
Listener/Co-host
Do lists are stressful.
- [17:03]
Dana K. White
Did you know it said up to 61% of the global workforce is experiencing higher than normal stress levels?
- [17:10]
Listener/Co-host
Small things help me so much.
- [17:11]
Dana K. White
Things like taking a five minute walk between tasks. That's my favorite way to lower my stress. Having someone who will listen and walk us through the stress of work and.
- [17:20]
Listener/Co-host
Life can be helpful. There are thousands of therapists at Better.
- [17:23]
Dana K. White
Help who do exactly that. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, serving millions. It's the therapy that's convenient, easy and personalized. You're matched with a therapist, then you can join a session at the click of a button, fitting it into your schedule, and you can switch therapists at any time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, Better Help can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com clean that's better h lp.com clean.
- [17:59]
Capital One Bank Guy
Banking with capital One helps you keep more money in your wallet with no fees or minimums on checking accounts and no overdraft fees. Just ask the Capital One bank guy. It's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. He'd also tell you that this podcast is his favorite podcast too. Ah, really? Thanks Capital One Bank Guy what's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com Bank Bank Capital One NA Member FDIC.
- [18:29]
Listener/Co-host
All right, can you tell us some creative ways to turn sentimental clutter into things we can display or use? Example, I paid an Etsy artist to turn my maternal grandmother's grandfather's shirt and my paternal grandfather's towel into a stuffed rabbit for my daughter. How adorable. I have been thinking of creating scrapbooks with the sentimental clutter I'm keeping, but I'm hoping to Hear other ideas. Okay, so the reason I'm answering this one is because I have to come up with this for. I mean, I have to answer this from my perspective as the person who used to see every idea that existed for turning your clutter into something amazing. And I would see those ideas and I would be like, oh, my word, that is amazing. I am gonna do that someday. That is on my list. Now it's on my list. I got it. I am totally gonna do that. And. And I would keep everything because of all the things that I had seen that I could maybe do something with it eventually. And then because of all the things I hadn't seen yet, but I probably would see eventually, that would be a way to use this. Okay, so I am going to answer this from that perspective with decluttering being the goal, okay? Because if decluttering isn't the goal, if the goal is just to make cool stuff out of your clutter, then there's no reason to get stuff out of the house. And if you don't get stuff out of the house, your house is not going to change. You're not going to be able to manage your home more. More easily. And my goal is to manage my home more easily. So on this, what do I do? Well, when I see an idea, I attempt to. That I love, that's like, oh, my word, this is amazing. I attempt to do it right? Then, like, that's a great idea. I'm gonna go do that. And then I go and I shop from what I have. Doing that a few times will help you to be able to let things go in the future. Okay, so think of it as, when I see these ideas that I really want to, I'm gonna have stuff I can use, right? Like, so I'm gonna shop from what I have as opposed to. I'm gonna hold on to things for ideas that I'm gonna do in the future. Okay, so it's that go. It's basically the take it there now. I'm gonna go ahead and do this idea now because so many times it either helps me realize, oh, you know what? Actually, I don't. I don't really want to do that. That's going to take more time than I was thinking. Or I do one thing, and I think, yeah, that looks janky, and I am not good at this. And so it gives me a more realistic picture of what I could do in the future. So I'm just saying, like, this mindset. Shift the other thing too, with this. And this is something that I have. And I mean, obviously sometimes you do especially like T shirt quilts. This is one of everybody's favorite things, right? Is a T shirt quilt. Like, what do I do with all my kids or my T shirts from, you know, college? I mean, I remember even back in the 90s, there was a T shirt for every single event that happened at college. I can only imagine now what that's like, right? And so it's always been this, oh, but am I going to throw away all these memories and what am I going to. Okay, T shirt quilts, people love that idea. That's great. What you need to do, if that's your idea and that's the reason that you're saving your T shirts, is go ahead and do the research. How many T shirts can go on a T shirt quilt? Because the T shirt quilt is your actual container, right? Like that is it. If a T shirt quilt. And this is me saying, without having any idea, but let's say 20. Like I wanted to say 16 or 32. I'm just gonna say 20. If you do the research and find out that the size of T shirt quilt that you actually would want needs 20 T shirts, that's your container. You pick your favorite out of what you already have, because you probably already have some. You pick your favorite 20. You don't hold on to every T shirt with this idea that at some point in the future I'm going to do a T shirt quilt instead. You pick your favorite 20 out of what you've got and you say, this is these are the best 20. And then if more T shirts come in, then you'll need to one in, one out. Because what you don't want to do is just have a vague idea of this really cool thing that you're going to do with your clutter in the future. And so you hold on to everything so you'll have what you need, what you need, what you think you might need. Okay. Or you'll have all the options, whatever. So it's that going ahead and acting on things and then doing this. And I just want to say the reason I'm not giving very specific ideas here. I do share things like I shared on Instagram over Christmas, our Christmas tree. We one of my favorite ornaments is somebody one of my husband's childhood friends bought my husband's dad, my father in law's big machine. I don't remember what it was. Anyway, he had a lot of big machines. That thing was so heavy, it was crazy. But he bought it and he totally made it gorgeous. Like he uses it now for himself. But he took one of the pieces from it and turned it into a Christmas ornament and sent it to us. So many memories. All the feelings about, you know, my father in law and the love that he had for doing his, you know, his crafts that he did. I mean, he's basically an artist, you know, the welder and all those feelings in this beautiful, quirky, fun Christmas ornament. Okay, but the reason I don't make it part of my job to share with you really cool ways to use your clutter. I'll share them when they come along, but it's because I often think I could have that gone that direction. I, I could have created a business around repurposing my junk. Because that sounds so fun to me. Like, especially used to sound so fun to me, except that it sounded so fun that I kept so much stuff that I was so overwhelmed that I could never actually do the thing or all the other things I wanted to do in life. And so I just make it a point that that's not what I do here. It's not that I refuse to share it. It's just not what I do. Does that make sense? The other thing too is as you're decluttering, this is a great, you know, so go ahead and declutter. As you declutter sometimes, you know, you're always asking yourself, where would I look for this first? Well, you don't not ask that question if it's something sentimental, right? You still ask yourself that question about everything. And if it's something like, well, this has no value in my actual everyday life, I'm not going to use it. For example, my kids cowboy boots, y', all, baby cowboy boots are the cutest things that have ever been worn by anyone ever. I mean, like, I'm sorry, I'm sure there's other cute things, but like, I love a baby cowboy boot. Like, I'm feeling all the feelings. I mean, like, I, I have so many memories because my kids could pull on cowboy boots long before they could ever tie a shoe, you know, so they could get themselves dressed. And boy, did they look funny and adorable. And so I have all these feelings. Well, what do I, you know, running across baby cowboy boots or toddler cowboy boots as you are decluttering and you're like, I put them on a shelf and they just became decorated because I'm like, okay, you know, like, so whatever it is, use it. Where would I look for this first? Applies either it doesn't have any. It can't possibly be decor. And instead it's going to be in a memory box or a keepsake box or whatever you call it. That's a defined, definite space that you take it there now. And if there's not room for it, you have to remove something or you realize, I'm not willing to remove something and so this needs to to go. Or say, okay, this could be a great decoration. I'm gonna go ahead and stick it on my wall. I know there are a lot of people who will say, I don't want to put the holes in my wall until I'm absolutely sure. Like if it's something to hang up. And yet if you don't do that, then it's still clutter. Right. But once it goes on the wall, even if it's imperfectly not in the exact perfect best decorator style spot, it's done. It's done. It can be fixed and it can be adjusted, but it's done. It's not clutter anymore. Okay, so going ahead and using things as you come across them, how do you manage your to do list and your extended, extended, want to do to do list? I feel like there are so many projects and items, goals that I get overwhelmed and disorganized at times. So with this, what I will say is that I, I don't make a daily all the things I'm going to do in my house to do list. I know there are people who love doing that. It backfires on me every single time. I needed to have it boiled down to these are the things that have to be done or the house does not run. Okay, do the dishes. Sweep the kitchen, which is really about picking stuff up off the floor. It's not so much about the crumbs. Check bathrooms for clutter, meaning they're not just a disaster and they can be cleaned easily when they need to be. But the, the task is check them for clutter and do a five minute pickup. I will do those things and they are boiled down so far to four basic things that I don't need a checklist for. And I also don't recommend that you start out with those four things. I start out with doing the dishes until doing the dishes is something that you don't have to think through. What am I supposed to do today? You're like, well, I always have to do the dishes. Okay. Not that you're gonna be excited about it, but those four things, I don't want them to have to be written down. I need them to Be so simple that they don't have to be written down. And if I will just do those four things, if I will just do the dishes and a five minute pickup. My house keeps out of crazy talk town, right? So I don't do a huge. Because here's what would happen when I would be like, my house is a disaster. Oh my goodness. This overwhelming. I'm going to make a list. I'm going to make a to do list. That's what all the organized people do. I'm going to make a to do list. My to do list. I would be looking around at all the millions of things that I could and should and would in a perfect world do. And my list was three pages long and completely overwhelming. Or it was time to go do something else by the time I'd finished writing down the list of all the things I should do. So instead I have it boiled down to, if I can't do anything else, I'm gonna do the dishes. If nothing else can happen, if I don't have time, but I have energy, if I don't know, whatever, I'm just gonna do the dishes or I'm do as much of the dishes as I can. And knowing that is key. And then I use lists for projects. Okay. Like, I love my kids actually love it. But I love, like when we're having, okay, we're having, you know, family over for Easter brunch or whatever, I have my little lists for each person in the family, including myself. And I write down I need you to do this. And everybody really, they say they won't made snide remarks in the comment in the credits on this video about to do lists about. Because he's talking about those. But they do. I mean, I actually have one kid who was like, I like it when you make these lists because then I just know what I'm supposed to do and I get it. So I'm like, but projects. Oh, I'm big on lists for breaking down the steps to a project. But as far as every day to do list, it backfires anyway for the reasons that I have shared. Okay. How can I tell my brain to remember I decluttered something? Books. I sometimes look for books that I have decluttered because I still see the picture of it in my mind. Yeah, I mean, this is. That's tough. It really is tough. I will say though, I mean, not that this doesn't happen, you know, this still happens to me some, but it happened the more my house got under control and I didn't have excess stuff shoved and piled. I experienced this less and less because I could handle my house. You know, clutter threshold is the amount of stuff that you personally can easily keep under control, right? And so once I hit my clutter threshold, it's like I didn't have this. Like I know such and such is. I've probably got that somewhere. And that used to be my constant, right? Like I know I have something, you know, and I just had a better awareness of what I had. You know, the books that I kept stayed on the bookshelf, fit on the bookshelf. I could see them. And so I didn't just have like piles and, and boxes and stuff of books everywhere that I'm like, oh, did I have that or not? Should I go through it? So it's like really coming down to actually living in the actual space and embracing the containers that you have. Does help with this. So as far as how can I tell my brain, I think your brain is going to accept this much more when you get, you know, so keep on decluttering. Acknowledge that sometimes there's decluttering regret. And yet keep going, keep going. Because the more your house is down to only what really fits, usably, comfortably.
- [32:05]
Dana K. White
Manageably for you and your personality and.
- [32:07]
Listener/Co-host
Your brain, then the less often that this happens. You often say final decision by final decision. Could you elaborate on this? I find that I take my time, 10 minutes, several times, to have time to think about what I found in the drawer. Okay, it sounds like you're re decluttering, which is great, right? Or maybe you're saying that you look at the drawer and then come back. Whatever you need to do, that's fine. But remember that the trash step, if what you're doing is looking at the drawer and then leaving and thinking about it and then coming back to it. Remember that there's a five step process which builds upon itself. It builds you into this final decision thing. Okay, so you're not just opening the drawer and saying, I've got to make final decisions about each and everything. That's not what we're doing. Instead we're starting with the trash. Trash is a final decision. It's a very easy, non emotional final decision. That's not really a decision you have to make. Right? You're just identifying trash. And so you're saying, what in this space is trash? I'm going to take it out and I'm going to act on it by putting it in the trash bag. Meaning I never have to touch, think about, look at this thing. Again, Right? So I do that, and then as I'm doing the trash, my brain is adjusting. So what you're talking about the thinking about what you found in the drawer, that's happening as I am dealing with the trash. And if I step away, I've made progress. Right? So, like, as I was sitting there thinking and adjusting to what's in the drawer, I've already gotten some stuff out. And so next time I go and look at it, it's less overwhelming to me. Right? And then I do easy stuff, which is nothing hard. It's nothing to think about. It is simply what is in this space that actually belongs in a different space that's already established, and for whatever reason, it's in here. And I take that stuff out and I go do that. Okay. And then the next one is duh, donation. So those first three steps have no decisions to be made, have no emotional energy to be spent, and yet I am significantly reducing the amount of stuff in this space as my brain is adjusting to what's in here. So that by the time I get to the decluttering questions, I have made adjustments, and I have significantly improved this drawer at the same time. Okay. So I think what you're saying, following the process in order, achieves that. Is it ever appropriate to ask question two before question one? Okay. You do what you want to do. If that is what is helpful for you, then that's great. Here's why I don't do this. And everything that I teach is based on what works for me consistently, for sure, every time. Okay. I don't always remember what I have. And so, you know, for those who are new, question one is, if I needed this item, where would I look for it first? Question 2. I only ask myself if I can't answer question number one. And then I ask question number two, which is, what if I needed this item, would it ever occur to me that I already had one? Well, I am very forgetful. I don't love that about myself. It's actually something that drives me crazy about myself. Like, I get frustrated with that. I'm less forgetful the more under control my house, you know, has gotten. But then at the same time, I'm older. So, you know, anyway. So for me, if I'm just saying, did I remember I had this? I'd be like, I'm not that kind of person. Right? Like, I have to have steps. And I. I would resist if I just said, did I remember I had this? It's got to go. I'm like, no, no. Okay. So asking myself the first question allows me to be very realistic. Okay. I think this, I think we got the ninja little smoothie maker thing. That is the coolest thing ever. Anyway, not an advertisement, but. So this is for my smoothie from yesterday. Okay, so let's say that I came up with this. I'm like, it might be my reaction to be like, I had another one of these things. That's so great. Well, if I then have to get rid of it because I didn't remember I had it, well, that makes me mad and makes me stop the process and not trust the process and not want to use the process. Right. So instead it's if I needed this thing that I'm surprised to find, I'm not really surprised, I knew it was here, but you know what I mean? If I needed this, where would I look for it first? And then I go take it there right now. Okay. It's a gentler, more realistic for what I actually can do process to do that. If I needed this, where would I look for it first? I take it there right now. I'm not saying do I remember it. I only asked that second question if I never would have gone looking for it. Okay. And then that's when I have to be realistic. Because basically if I have to ask the second question, that means the item needs to go, but it's a way to let me help me let that thing go, right? Like if I needed this, would it occur to me that already had one and if I insist that yes, I would totally know that I had one, then I have to go back to question number one and say, okay, if I knew I had it, then I would go looking for it. Where's the first place where I would look even if I wasn't sure it was going to be there? I'm the midst of packing for a cross country move all on my own to be out by March 6th. I keep pushing out the date. It will mean downsizing into someone else's. I keep wavering on the best use of my time. It is taking more time to dispose of things than I can afford. Okay, then you need to go with the fastest way to dispose of things which may be trash more things than you know or just, you know, find. Find the, the place that takes everything. Like, you cannot be picky about where you are donating. And you know, some, some places like, well, we only take clothes or we only take children's stuff, or we only take this and we don't. It's like you got to go to the place that makes it the fastest and the easiest. And it may be something of saying, hey, anybody here have a junk store? And I don't get to do things as a tax write off, you know, it's going to be like, okay, anybody have a junk store? You want all my stuff? All right. You know, I mean, like, so that it's tough. But yeah, I think that's one of the things about moving is it does force you into that, which is not always a bad thing. Right? Okay. When do I move past visible spaces to less visible? I feel like I'm stuck on kitchen, dining room, living room, which kind of look, okay, not great. And don't ever move into bedrooms and closets. First of all, do whatever you want to do. Like sometimes if I'll have. I'm like, oh, wow, I have ended up with a day or weekend with nothing going on. I'm gonna tackle such and such room. You can do that. Like, you do whatever you need to do. But as far as if you're trying to follow the visibility rule because the whole house needs the work, you know, because here, here's how the visibility rule works. Just the very brief version of it. Start in the most visible space so that you see your progress, and then you are inspired. You inspire yourself to declutter again sooner because you're seeing, wow, that made an impact on my home. And the next time that you declutter because you were inspired to declutter before, you go back to that visible space, you get it back under control. And where it maybe took three hours the first time, it takes 12 minutes this time. And then you use the time that you have in the next most visible space and you go. And that's how you gain momentum, maintain progress. Don't end up in that situation where you're like, I worked here and that space got back on out of control. And then I worked here and that space got back out, you know, and then you're just always putting out fires, whatever. So here's what I would say. If you're wanting to do the visibility because you feel like, yes, that's what I need to do, but how do I get past that? Be ruthless. Ruthless means without pity. Ruthless means just go farther than you thought you could, like, get rid of more stuff. And because that's what makes a space easy to maintain. That's what makes the space only take five to six minutes to get back before you move to the next space. That's how you're going to start doing that. It's like, really get rid of more. Be more ruthless. Okay, how do I get my husband on board with decluttering? You do not do this before you start decluttering, okay? That is what a lot of people want to do. It makes sense. I'm like, I need everybody to be on board or this is never going to happen. That's actually not true. It happens better if you say, okay, I'm the one watching this woman on the Internet on a Tuesday afternoon talk about decluttering. So I'm the one who cares more. I'm the one who is focused in on this. I'm the one who's learning these strategies. Okay? Focus on your stuff and neutral stuff first. Start with your stuff first. Like, start getting rid of your stuff before you ever say a word to him about his stuff. Because here's the thing, and I don't know what your situation is, but in a lot of situations, this was my situation. I had major clutter issues, but I could see in my husband's stuff what needed to stay and what needed to go. I was like, oh, my word, why are you holding on to that? Meanwhile, I was holding on to all this stuff that didn't make any sense for me to hold on to. And so when I focused on his clutter, it was offensive. Like, it, it made him hold on tighter to his stuff because he was like, why are you fixating on my stuff when you've got all this stuff around here, right? It's because it's so easy to see what is someone else's clutter. So focus on your own stuff. Even if he never gets on board, your house will be better because of you working on your own stuff and neutral stuff. And yet I hear from it happened to me. It has happened to so many people. I hear it all the time from people like, I didn't think so. I thought you were wrong. And yet I didn't know what else to do. So I just started with my own stuff and neutral stuff. And it was amazing how the people in my house ended up getting on board. But even if they don't, your house will be better.
- [42:27]
Dana K. White
Y' all know I have decluttered a lot, Like a lot, a lot over the years, and that has made me pay attention to quality. I want things in my home that serve their purpose well and will last. That's why I love that at Quince, you'll find quality that fits the budget. Their bedding, towels, kitchen essentials. They strike that perfect balance of refined, functional, and well priced.
- [42:48]
Listener/Co-host
Their home goods.
- [42:49]
Dana K. White
Are half the cost of similar brands. Just like their clothing, Quince partners with top artisans cutting out the cost of the middleman. That way they can pass the savings on to us. And I love that they only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. It's the middle of summer right now and I am loving the organic airy gauze blanket that I ordered from Quint. It's quite literally the perfect summer blanket. So soft but so light. I love it. Elevate your space with home essentials from Quintessential Go to quince.comslob for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E.comslob to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comSlob.
- [43:37]
Capital One Bank Guy
Banking with Capital One helps you keep more money in your wallet with no fees or minimums on checking accounts and no overdraft fees. Just ask the Capital One bank guy. It's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. He'd also tell you that this podcast is his favorite podcast too. Ah, really? Thanks Capital One Bank Guy. What's in your wallet? Term supply See CapitalOne.com Bank Capital One NA Member FDIC.
- [44:07]
Listener/Co-host
Any idea how to get ruthless with paper clutter when you do technically have enough room in its place place but can't finish reading or deciding about it and feeling vaguely and feel vaguely burdened when you notice it? Okay, so give yourself permission to just look for trash. Okay? Kind of like we talked about before, that letting your brain adjust. That is the value of the trash step. You're making progress while your brain is adjusting right to what's actually there to be dealt with. So give yourself permission to say I I don't know what to do here. It's too overwhelming to me. It is too much. I. I always get worn out when I start dealing with this. So I'm just going through it and just pull out trash and get rid of that. Because the vast majority of the time you can take a paper stack from here to here just by getting rid of trash. It's kind of shocking and amazing, right? The other thing I recommend is that you start dealing with your incoming paper first. Okay? Like do that before you do anything else. Get it down to a very I have a video on it last year at some time, but get it to where you have three. Well, get it to where you have a very broad file category system. Do that for a while after you do that and then you start going through paper, even if you're just looking for trash, you're going to have a much better understanding. It's not going to feel so daunting and overwhelming. The problem is with the daunting and overwhelmingness is you're probably trying to think, well, this probably needs a category for that, and this needs a category. And all of a sudden you've got 47 categories, and it's completely overwhelming. How can I get myself to do the second step of mail or paper sort through? I try to schedule it, but that hasn't been successful. I am not a paper person. I mean, I'm just kind of like. I just. Like I was talking before, I just try to do everything digitally if I possibly can. But. But it's. So I'm not for sure exactly what you're asking here, but I do think giving yourself permission to just look for trash or giving yourself permission to do a small stack at a time and say, I'm going to stop looking at the whole amount of everything, and I'm just going to do a small amount at a time might be helpful in public spaces. Kitchen. My husband and I have different where would I look for it first for kitchen stuff? He wants it out and I want it in the cabinet. How do I decide where to put it? So I tend to go with the who uses it the most? Although it sounds like maybe y' all both use these types of things. Sometimes it's a matter of having two if it's in, you know, completely different places. But it also is that question of, you know, if the countertop is clear, if that's the goal, if a workspace is the goal, like, if that's the function of the space is workspace. And so I don't want to have stuff laying out. If this space was clear, then where would you look for it first? And that might help kind of switch that instead of just the where would you look for it first? And he's like, well, on the counter. Well, okay, so if this space was what we want it to be as far as, like, you know, maybe. So adding in that step of, like, if this space was functional as a workspace and clear, then where would you look for it first and do that? But I also default to the person, which is me generally on a lot of things, of who. Who is it that's going to get asked? Because I get asked a lot, mom, where's the such and such? And so I'm like, well, then I get to be the one to put it in Place where I would look for it first. How do I declutter handbags and toes that you've collected over the years? Toes. Oh, wow. I'm just kidding. I do have to tell y'. All, have you seen. And I. I follow so many dog things because, you know, I'm a huge dog person. Instagram has started showing me these videos of these fancy meals that people send make for their dogs with all these neat little things. My dog gets like regular dog food anyway, and they put like a raw chicken foot in it or a raw rabbit's foot or something like that. And it is so upsetting. And I don't know how the algorithm has decided. Probably because the first time I was like, what is that? And watch the whole thing. I'm like, no. Anyway, so I'm assuming you haven't actually collected toes.
- [48:26]
Dana K. White
I'm sorry, I know you know me.
- [48:28]
Listener/Co-host
If you, if you're watching this, hopefully you know me enough to. No. I collect over the years, but they are not my go to bags whenever I have a trip or some special occasion. They're not expensive, they're fairly cheap. But I don't know why I have a hard time letting them go. I did grow up poor, so I feel like I should keep it because I spent money on them. This is true with everything in my house. It is a struggle to let go of anything and everything. Container concept. Like that is how we deal with these hard, hard decisions. It's. It's. This is the space that I have to devote to totes. I'm not going to go with should and shouldn't. Would I ever use it? Might I ever need it? Because that lets my brain spin out and I am really good at my brain spinning out, and it does not serve my house well. And so instead the. It's. This is the space that I have to devote to totes that I might use someday. And this space is not needed for the stuff that I do use every day and need to function. Okay, so. So if you don't have space to keep things that you are not absolutely for sure going to use, then they need to go. But devote, like, let's say this, this cabinet, this drawer, this hook on the wall, this is the place that I have to devote to that, which means I can keep them. I just can't keep them. All right? Because otherwise that's how my house gets out of control. Because, you know, you're. You're saying that you're dealing with this on a lot of different things. So just use the container Conc. Blame the container. This is the space that I have. This is the hook that I have so I can usably, get toably, aesthetically, pleasingly hang three bags on this hook. Okay. Then I'm gonna choose my top three. And then if you find one that you're like, oh, I'd like that one better, great. Which one am I willing to get rid of in order to do that? So you let the container make those hard decisions because otherwise you would keep them all. I know. Useful bags are hard, too. Totes. As opposed to toes, if you're talking about toes. Okay. But totes. I. This is something for me too. And I. I'm giving you all my, like, upcoming content here because I. I am like, I'm have a video for next year because I'm trying to get those already done about totes. Because I'm like, I had to come to this point where it's kind of one of those things. I realized totes are always coming into my life. Like, they just do. It's one of those things I go to something I whatever, and a tote comes into my life. So I try to view it as like a river, the river of totes or the river of toes, which is a horror movie flowing through my life. The totes are flowing through my life, which means I can get rid of them because there's always another one coming. So I have a use for it right now. I'm going to keep it, you know, And I use a tote for my Bible study, and I use a tote for this. And I have different, you know, tote that I bring back and forth. Yeah, this is my tote. This is my office tote. Right. So, like, that's. It has a use and blah, blah. And at some point when it's gross, there will be another tote. Totes show up in my life, and I've already got 10 toes, and I'd like to keep all those. Okay. I haven't yet gotten to the point where I can quickly say, this is where this is kept. Doesn't seem to yet be there. Does this mean I'm not in my ideal declutter threshold? I went so bad to get there. Okay. I don't ask myself that question. Instead, I say, where would I look for this first? Where would I look for this first? Is more effective because there is an answer. That is how I establish the home for something that needs a home that I don't have an established home for. Right. So instead, there has to be an answer, and it Needs to be instinct. Where would I look for this first? So if there is something that has a home, that's easy, right? Like that's, that's already done on its own. I'm not asking myself any questions, I'm just taking it to its own. But when I get to that stuff where I'm like, okay, you know, this is stuff where it doesn't have a home, but okay, where would I look for this first? That's the question. So make sure you're asking that question correctly because this is where this was kept. Implies that I need. That it is already established, that I need to be confident that it's going to be there. That I take all of that out because I didn't have that and say, where would I look for this first? That is now its home. And I let that be an instinct. If I'm analyzing, if I'm thinking too much, I'm doing it wrong. And I need to be like, no. Literally, if I was like, where's my headphones? Where did I look for it first? Okay, where's the first place where I go, headphones. I gotta come really quick. That's it, right there. That drawer right there. Is or not a drawer. Cabinet. That's where I would look first for my headphones. Okay. That becomes its home. And that establishes the home. How do you get kids involved? My 10 year old has been very difficult. So many toys. Okay, so a couple things here. It's not easy. I mean, because it's relational and it's parenting and it's, it's, you know, there's just all kinds of things, right. Involved, so. And parenting is never easy. It doesn't get easier. You have less anyway. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking. I love my kids. They're the greatest. But seriously, parenting older people is. Or being a parent. How about that? Okay, so how do you get kids involved? The best way to get kids involved is the five minute pickup. It takes time. We are not getting five minutes worth of work according to what you think should be done in five minutes. We are literally saying, I'm going to set the timer for five minutes. We're going to pick things up and put it away for five minutes. Even if on this first day we put away two things, it is so important to show to prove that you're talking five minutes. You really do mean five minutes. You are not trying to trick them into. I don't like being tricked either. Right. That establishing that five minute thing over time. It's not going to be tomorrow or the next day. But over time it's like, okay, well five minutes really is five minutes. Okay? You know, she means business. And it's also really not worth resisting because it's five minutes, right? So establishing that five minute thing, proving that, that you really do mean five minutes. And then the whole so many toys part. The goal of the five minute pickup is to show that you are at your clutter threshold. Okay? So you declutter not during the five minutes, but you do a decluttering session and you mention that the five minutes that, that, you know, we want to get this down to the point where you, we will be able to get this picked up and put away in five minutes. Okay? Like that's our goal in decluttering is to only have what on a normal day we can get put completely away in five minutes doing the five minutes every day, right? So if a five minute pickup is not enough time, especially after you've done it a couple days and you're really, truly working for, if, if that's not enough time to get stuff put away, then you need to have less stuff because your goal is to get down to your child's clutter threshold. Not what all they wish they could have, but instead, what can they handle? What can they handle of their stuff in their space? Okay, all right, I am going to stop here because it is time. But this has been fun. I just want to remind you that you can go to askdanak white.com and ask questions there in that form, that Google form that puts it into a spreadsheet for me, which I love. You all know that. And if you need somebody to help you. The coaches listed@declutteringcoaches.com are all my coaches who I have trained in my method. So they speak this language, they talk about the five step process, they, they guide you through that. So I recommend that. And then of course there is Patreon where you can connect with other people who talk about decluttering and home maintenance, home management in the way that we talk about it. So, so if this clicks with your brain, this is a great place for you to go to connect with other people where you can interact and talk about things using this language that we use here. So it's been really fun and I will talk to you all later. Okay, bye.