468: Decluttering Plateaus and Thresholds, Home Renovations, Spouse Clutter

Summary

Podcast Title: A Slob Comes Clean
Host/Author: Dana K. White
Episode: 468: Decluttering Plateaus and Thresholds, Home Renovations, Spouse Clutter
Release Date: July 24, 2025
Description: Reality-Based Cleaning, Organizing, and Decluttering

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Introduction

In episode 468: Decluttering Plateaus and Thresholds, Home Renovations, Spouse Clutter, Dana K. White delves deep into the nuanced challenges of maintaining an organized home. Drawing from personal experiences and addressing listener questions, Dana offers practical strategies to overcome common decluttering obstacles. The episode emphasizes understanding individual clutter thresholds, managing household dynamics during renovations, and dealing with clutter contributed by spouses or family members.

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Breaking Through Decluttering Plateaus

Key Discussion: Dana begins by addressing the phenomenon of decluttering plateaus—the point where progress seems to stall despite consistent efforts. She introduces the concept of a clutter threshold, defining it as the amount of stuff one can manage without feeling overwhelmed.

Notable Insights:

• Clutter Threshold: "Your clutter threshold is the amount of stuff that you can easily keep under control. It's unique to you, it's unique to your home." (03:10)

  This threshold varies from person to person, explaining why two identical rooms can appear vastly different based on individual capacities to manage clutter.

• Ruthless Decluttering: Dana emphasizes the need to be more ruthless in decluttering once a plateau is reached. Even if items don't obviously need to go, reducing the number of possessions can help maintain control.

  "You need to have less for your house to stay under control." (04:15)

• Five-Minute Pickups: Maintaining organization involves quick, daily actions. Dana advises that staying under the clutter threshold means regaining control within five minutes of noticing a mess.

  "Being under my clutter threshold doesn't mean that things are never out of place. It means that I can handle getting it back under control really easily within five minutes." (05:05)

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Managing Clutter During Home Renovations

Key Discussion: Home renovations introduce temporary chaos, making it challenging to keep spaces organized. Dana provides strategies to manage clutter effectively during such disruptive periods.

Notable Insights:

• Minimize During Chaos: "Your life is bananas right now. I mean, every single person here who's done any kind of remodeling whatsoever in their home..." (13:43)

  During renovations, it's crucial to function with as little stuff as possible to maintain order amidst the chaos.

• Example Strategy: Dana shares her personal experience of minimizing kitchen utensils while working on a project:

  "I use as few dishes as possible... just one coffee cup for everything throughout the day." (14:10)

  This approach reduces the number of items that can become cluttered, simplifying maintenance.

• Temporary Space Solutions: Utilizing temporary storage solutions can help manage items that don't have a permanent place during renovations.

  "What this space needs is to be done too. So there's gotta be a dud donation or trash." (45:45)

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Dealing with Spouse and Family Clutter

Key Discussion: Clutter contributed by spouses or family members can be a significant hurdle. Dana explores ways to harmonize different clutter thresholds within a household.

Notable Insights:

• Focus on Controllable Aspects: Dana advises concentrating on one's own belongings first before addressing others'.

  "The only thing you can actually control is you." (07:06)

• Lead by Example: By decluttering personal and neutral spaces, other family members may be inspired to follow suit.

  "As they saw the house change, then they gradually were like, oh, this is what we're going for." (09:36)

• Collaborative Maintenance: Implementing joint strategies like five-minute pickups together can foster a collective effort towards maintaining an organized home.

  "Can you get on board to do the five minute pickup together so that, you know, moving of the things to the place where you would look for it first..." (34:35)

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Addressing Specific Clutter Challenges

Managing Clutter During Health Issues: Dana addresses how to handle clutter when dealing with mobility issues or health challenges.

Notable Insights:

• Adapt Decluttering to Physical Limitations: Simplifying environments by keeping only essentials can make managing clutter feasible despite mobility constraints.

  "If it's hard to carry things, then let's get rid of anything that isn't essential and really, truly has to be carried." (17:34)

• No Mess Method: Focusing on items that go straight to recycling, trash, or donations without creating additional piles eases the physical burden of decluttering.

  "Only dealing with the things that were going to go straight into the recycling, straight into the trash, or straight into the donate box." (19:50)

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Handling Emotional and Sentimental Clutter

Key Discussion: Emotional attachments to items, such as keepsakes or heirlooms, can complicate the decluttering process. Dana offers compassionate approaches to navigate these challenges.

Notable Insights:

• Start with Non-Emotional Items: Begin decluttering with less emotionally charged items to build momentum and confidence.

  "Start with the trash. Is there any trash in here?" (32:37)

• Five-Step Process: Utilizing a structured approach helps in making objective decisions about sentimental items.

  • Identify Trash: Remove obvious clutter.

  • Easy Items: Items that have a designated home elsewhere.

  • Get Rid: Items you can discard without guilt.

  • Decluttering Questions: Assess the necessity and place for each item.

    "Where would you look for it first?" (25:14)

• Respecting Emotional Boundaries: Dana emphasizes not forcing individuals to discard sentimental items unilaterally but encouraging them to follow their own process.

  "Do not start with the hard stuff. Start with the easy stuff." (32:36)

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Strategies for Teaching Children About Clutter

Key Discussion: Educating young children about managing possessions is crucial for instilling lifelong organizational habits.

Notable Insights:

• Use the Five-Steps Method: Guide children through the structured decluttering process to make it relatable and manageable.

  "Print out the five steps and say let's follow this process." (23:33)

• One In, One Out Rule: Encourage children to balance new possessions with the removal of old ones to prevent accumulation.

  "If you're gonna have a new toy, what are you willing to get rid of so we have room for the new toy." (40:16)

• Lead by Example: Children often emulate adult behaviors. By maintaining an organized space, children learn to value and replicate these habits.

  "My kids were always thrilled when I decluttered without them because they were like, woohoo. We came home and it looks great." (40:08)

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Overcoming Self-Loathing and Demotivation

Key Discussion: Feelings of inadequacy or self-criticism can impede the decluttering journey. Dana provides strategies to counteract these negative emotions.

Notable Insights:

• Reframe Negative Thoughts: Shift focus from self-blame to actionable steps.

  "Remember that the five step process does not use any of that. It doesn't mean we're never going to feel that frustration, but it doesn't use any of it." (34:35)

• Encouraging Phrases: Utilize positive affirmations to stay motivated.

  "People whose houses are consistently under control choose to live with regret instead of with clutter." (34:35)

• Consistent Small Actions: Emphasize the power of daily, manageable tasks over overwhelming, large-scale efforts.

  "Five minute pickups will take, okay, I decluttered this space, and then now there are things in there, and it automatically feels like, oh, no, it's back to what it was before." (50:54)

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Utilizing Resources and Support Systems

Key Discussion: Accessing additional resources and support can enhance the effectiveness of decluttering efforts.

Notable Insights:

• Books and Courses: Dana recommends her books and online courses as comprehensive guides to the decluttering process.

  "Decluttering at the Speed of Life is for anybody. It has the mindset shifts that you need to make to change how you think about your stuff in your home." (34:35)

• Decluttering Coaches: For personalized support, Dana promotes her network of decluttering coaches trained in her methods.

  "We have 40 something coaches all over the US and in several countries around the world that are trained in my no mess decluttering process." (33:16)

• Community Engagement: Encouraging listeners to join her Patreon for an ad-free experience and additional content supports ongoing learning and engagement.

  (Introduction) "Go to patreon.comAslob comes clean to learn more..." (00:00)

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Conclusion

Dana K. White's episode 468 serves as a comprehensive guide for those struggling to maintain an organized home amidst various challenges. By understanding personal clutter thresholds, implementing practical strategies during disruptions like renovations, addressing family dynamics, and overcoming emotional barriers, listeners are equipped with the tools necessary to achieve and sustain an orderly living environment. Dana's empathetic approach, combined with actionable advice, makes this episode a valuable resource for anyone seeking to transform their home into a serene and manageable space.

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Notable Quotes:

• "Your clutter threshold is the amount of stuff that you can easily keep under control. It's unique to you, it's unique to your home." — Unknown Co-host (03:10)

• "Being under my clutter threshold doesn't mean that things are never out of place. It means that I can handle getting it back under control really easily within five minutes." — Unknown Co-host (05:05)

• "The only thing you can actually control is you." — Unknown Co-host (07:06)

• "If it's hard to carry things, then let's get rid of anything that isn't essential and really, truly has to be carried." — Unknown Co-host (17:34)

• "People whose houses are consistently under control choose to live with regret instead of with clutter." — Unknown Co-host (34:35)

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Resources Mentioned:

• Patreon: patreon.com/AslobComesClean
• Decluttering Coaches: declutteringcoaches.com
• Books by Dana K. White:
  • How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind
  • Decluttering at the Speed of Life
• Decluttering Process: Five-Step Method detailed in her books and coaching sessions.

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Next Steps for Listeners:

1. Assess Your Clutter Threshold: Determine the amount of possessions you can manage without feeling overwhelmed.
2. Implement Five-Minute Pickups: Dedicate short, daily intervals to maintain organization.
3. Engage Family Members: Lead by example and encourage collective responsibility for maintaining a clutter-free home.
4. Utilize Resources: Explore Dana's books, online courses, and certified decluttering coaches for additional support.
5. Practice Positive Reinforcement: Replace negative self-talk with encouraging phrases to stay motivated.

By following these steps and leveraging the insights shared in this episode, listeners can overcome decluttering challenges and cultivate a more organized and peaceful living space.

Transcript

[Dana K. White]

Hey y', all, did you know that we now offer an ad free version of the podcast over on Patreon?

[Unknown Co-host]

Well, we do.

[Dana K. White]

Go to patreon.comAslob comes clean to learn more. That's patreon.comAslob Comes Clean to find out more about listening to the podcast ad free. Welcome to A Slob Comes Clean, the Podcast. I am Dana K. White. I share my personal deslobification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people. People who don't love cleaning and organizing. Thanks for joining me today. This is podcast number 468 and I think I'm going to call it Breaking Through Decluttering Plateaus. Parentheses and more end parentheses, right? This is one of my summer podcasts and it is the audio for from a live Q and A that was done in the past at some point in the past. We are trying this as a way to have podcasts still go out in the summer. Even though I am taking a break from creating podcasts, I have taken breaks the last over 10 years, the last decade of podcasts at least. And normally we just go silent for the summer, but we're trying this to give you something coming out in your feeds. Other things that I will talk about in this podcast are home renovations and the clutter that goes along with that, plus spouse clutter, you know, other people in your house and, and dealing with all that. So tackle all of that, plus a lot more in this.

[Unknown Co-host]

Hope you enjoy. Here we go. Question. Do you have any advice for breaking through a decluttering plateau? I understand that. I feel like I've gotten really good at identifying and letting go of clutter and have gotten rid of a ton. However, still feel I'm above my clutter threshold and it seems like I'm out of things I can get rid of and progress has more or less stalled. Thank you, Dana. Your books and videos have been literally life changing for my family. Okay, you already have identified that you're over your clutter threshold. For anybody who's new, your clutter threshold is the amount of stuff that you can easily keep, keep under control. It's unique to you, it's unique to your home. Meaning how much stuff can you handle? This clutter threshold is the reason that your friend can have the exact same stuff that you have, but in her house. And it looks amazing and is great. And you're like, that's the look that I like. And then in your house, you have that same amount of stuff, the exact same things even, and it's constantly out of control. Okay. The difference between those two is the clutter threshold. She can handle this amount of stuff. You can't handle this amount of stuff. So you need to have less for your house to stay under control. So the way that I define clutter is anything that consistently gets out of control in your home. So you're saying that even though you feel like you have gotten rid of all the things that need to be gotten rid of, it's still hard to keep your house under control. This is where we acknowledge if it's consistently getting out of control, I need to have less in that space. For me and how I roll and what actually works for me. We acknowledge that this is the end all, be all. Like, this is the goal. A house is under control is my goal. So even though none of the stuff that's left is obvious that it needs to go, none of the stuff that it's left is going to be easy. I still need to have less. I need to be more ruthless and I need to look at things according to I want a house that I can easily keep under control. Okay, so let's say you're looking at a space and you think, I have gotten rid of. I'm looking at my kids closet. I've gotten rid of all the stuff in there that was outgrown. I've gotten rid of all the stuff that we didn't like. I have gotten rid of all of the things that I was saving for the future that I had packed in there and they were making it hard. I've actually gotten rid of all those things. And the only things that are left in this space are the things that actually fit my kid right now. And technically all of it does fit within the boundaries of this closet. So that's the container concept, right? Like, I have gotten rid of enough that that's all that's in there. And yet I am still finding it difficult to keep it from ending up all over the floor. Or, you know, my. My kid tries on 16 outfits and those end up all over the floor, and then it's just constantly a disaster. Whatever. Fewer. I need to have fewer things in that space. So it's all right. I'm gonna get rid of some more stuff in here and then we live with it for a little while. It's still consistently out of control. Okay, then we're gonna get rid of some more things. Now remember that the way that, you know, you're under your clutter threshold is that a five minute pickup gets it back under control on a regular basis. Okay? So on a regular day of doing five minute pickups. So make sure that the five minute pickups are happening because maybe that's what it is. It's like clutter threshold. Being under my clutter threshold doesn't mean that things are never out of place. It means that I can handle getting it back under control really easily within five minutes. Okay, so do those five minute pickups. And every time you know that, you realize, okay, five minute pickups are not cutting it. It's been a week of five minute pickups and this space is still. I can't do it. I can't get it back under control in less than five minutes. Well, then we have. We get rid of more and we get rid of more and we get rid of more. Because that's how we do it, right? That's how we find the amount of stuff that you can handle.

[Jesu Jo]

Asking questions doesn't make one a difficult patient. It makes you an advocate for you.

[Unknown Advertiser]

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[Unknown Co-host]

Here's a question that I get a lot. What if other family members, spouse and young children have high clutter thresholds? They genuinely don't seem to get stressed. While I'm tearing my hair out, do I ask my husband to honor my clutter threshold or just grip my teeth? All right, the thing that I think is being missed in this question, which is a it's a common thing, right? Like I made up this term, right? So I get to say what it means. But also I'm going to re explain what I mean by clutter threshold, which I already talked about in the last question. But let's dig down into this. Your clutter Threshold is not a preference. It's not what you can stand, it's not what you like. It is what you can handle. So I think that this is a misunderstanding of clutter thresholds in that my family doesn't seem to care that there's a whole lot of stuff here. I don't like all the stuff that we have. Like, they don't seem to care about the level being higher and cluttered. I don't want that. Okay, so let's kind of evaluate here, what is it that you can do. So what I would recommend in this situation is to first start out decluttering whatever you can and acknowledge that the clutter threshold is what can we keep under control. Easily. Use that as an explanation as you are decluttering your own stuff and neutral stuff first.

[Unknown Listener]

Okay.

[Unknown Co-host]

Because what also can, can be happening here is, you know, I know in my own situation, I never was okay with my house being a cluttered mess, but my family had learned to live with the house being a cluttered mess. And as I started working on my house, I was doing it without telling anybody what I was doing because I was. That's just my story from when I got started, which made me only focus on my own stuff and neutral stuff. And by focusing on my own stuff and neutral stuff, I realized how much of the problem in the house was my stuff and my stuff. Being out of control and having too much is what had made my family very used to living in a house like that.

[Unknown Listener]

Right.

[Unknown Co-host]

So I'm not saying it's all on you. I'm not saying it's all, you know, your job to blah, blah, blah. I'm saying the only thing you can actually control is you. And the best way to get your family to even understand the value of decluttering and the value of living in a house that's different than what they're used to living in is for you to go ahead and focus on decluttering your own stuff and neutral stuff first so they can see the impact and the power of, of having less stuff. And as you're doing that, keep doing those five minute pickups and explain, and do that with the family and explain that if I, you know, if, if over time, as we've been decluttering, if, if we consistently cannot get the house back under control in five minutes, it's because we have too much stuff. We have more stuff than we can.

[Unknown Listener]

Handle as a family.

[Unknown Co-host]

And so keep those five minute pickups going and continually declutter so that they can start to see, wow, the less stuff we have, the more impact we make in five minutes. That makes it easier. And then it, you know, so, so kind of making sure that you are defining what the clutter threshold really is. It's what we can handle. But you even get them into that mindset by making the changes that you're able to make first, which is your own stuff and neutral stuff. Okay. The. The number one thing that will defeat you before you even get started when you're trying to change your home is trying to get everybody on board before you even get started. I had to acknowledge that my children, when I first started really trying to declutter in my own home, I had to acknowledge that they did not have a frame of reference for what I was trying to achieve. What I was trying to achieve was what they thought we only ever did when grandma was heading over. Like, they, they didn't know that I actually wanted us to live with a clean and clutter free house at all times because that's not what they'd ever experienced. Right. And so, so I had to work on the decluttering of my own stuff. And then as they saw the house change, then they gradually were like, oh, this is what we're going for. Oh, okay. Not like they're gonna be like. But they definitely won't be like woohoo. When they're like, what are you talking about, mother? Okay, next. Dana, we bought a home a few months ago and are in the process of practically getting the house while we are living here. That is a lot that you're going through. Yes. My kitchen is torn apart, my floors are only half completed, doors are missing, etc, I have no storage space for items I would not typically struggle with. So now I am struggling with them. No shelves in the linen or cloak, cloth closets, coat closets, no towel rack in the bathroom, etc, not to mention sometimes the space I am putting items in is only temporary until its real space is finished. I've struggled with keeping my spaces tidy since I was a child and was finally seeing progress before we moved. Now I am back to being frustrated and overwhelmed with a chaotic space. Any tips on how to manage the chaos in this situation? P.S. you've been a lifesaver for me. Can't thank you enough for all your content. Okay, Yes, I would say in this time period, acknowledge. I think today's theme is clutter threshold. I really do. Because your clutter threshold is the amount of stuff that you personally can keep under control easily. It is influenced by your current life situation. Okay. Meaning when life is bananas. The less stuff that you have, the easier it is to keep it under control in the midst of life being bananas, okay? Your life is bananas right now. I mean, every single person here who's done any kind of remodeling whatsoever in their home is just. Their heart is aching for you.

[Unknown Listener]

Right?

[Unknown Co-host]

Because it is a tough, tough situation. So it's a matter of we are going to function with as little stuff as we possibly can during this time period. So an example, I did a video that's done real well, because that's what happens when you record a video and you haven't washed your hair in three days and your clothes are super wrinkled anyway, the layers of a clean house. So it's a video that I put out, I think, a week before last. And I briefly mentioned in there how I was at an Airbnb, okay. And my whole goal while I was there was to use as few dishes as possible. So I had one coffee cup that I was using for my coffee, and then I would wash it out and use it for my cereal, and then I would wash it out and use it for the soup that I was eating for lunch. And then I would wash it out and I would. I mean, like, that was. And my snack was more cereal because I was like, I only want to use this one cup. That's it. Because as long as I can do that, then I am not going to end up with all these. These things piled up. That's not how I normally live. You know, it's not a bad way. But I'm just saying, like, for that unique situation, I was like, I am not going to spend a bunch of time doing dishes when I am here to get work done on this next project that I'm working on. So that is like a time period. You are in this time period right now where you're like, we are going to only have out one dish per person. And that means that for this time period, everybody's going to wash their own dish. Or at the very least, I'm only going to have, you know, five dishes to wash, five plates to wash, because.

[Unknown Listener]

That is all we have.

[Unknown Co-host]

And we cannot eat the next meal until we wash the plates that we need for the next meal. And I am going to, you know, have one large skillet, and that is all I'm gonna cook in. I'm gonna cook, you know that. And then I'm gonna have maybe a pot for some pasta or something and mashed potatoes or however I want to do it, but that's it. That's it. So, like, in these moments, you say, I am acknowledging that life is bananas and it's harder, so I need to have less stuff to compensate for everything being bananas. And, you know, you've probably got stuff packed up anyway during this time. So we're going to be like, we're going to. We're not going to have any kind of extra sheets. Everybody has one set of sheets for their bed and we. That means that I, during this time, I'm going to pull all the sheets off, I'm going to wash sheets, I'm going to dry them, I'm going to put them right back on the bed before bed that, you know, before bedtime that night. Sometimes situations like this are really great for helping those of us who struggle with clutter. I'm speaking as myself to go, oh, wait, I don't need all the things that I thought I needed this forced situation into. Really dialing down on what are the absolute basics that I have to have. It can be very helpful. So that's what I would recommend is acknowledge that your clutter threshold is lower because life is bananas. Okay. I need help with modifications for lower back mobility problems. How can you clean when you can hardly walk or carry things, but need to be able to at least do the minimum? Thanks. I think again that that is the theme. I might just change the title today to all the different ways we can talk about Clutter Threshold. I think it's. The reality is if this is your reality, then you need to make your home function for your reality, which means less.

[Unknown Listener]

Right.

[Unknown Co-host]

If it's hard to carry things, then let's get rid of anything that isn't essential and really, truly has to be carried. Because what happens a lot of time for, for someone who, you know, is, for me, when I struggle with clutter, as someone who struggles with clutter, I don't consider all the things I'm going to have to do with these items as I'm bringing them into the house.

[Unknown Listener]

Right.

[Unknown Co-host]

Like, I don't consider that they're going to have to be arranged and they're going to have to be moved in order to clean around them and under them and all that. So it's like the less stuff that we have, the easier it is to do all of these things, which is going to. To, you know, to make it easier. Because if I, you know, kind of like the layers of a clean house video that one is talking about, like, the cleaning is so much easier when I've already taken care of the daily stuff. So we're going to really minimize the daily stuff as much as we can by not having enough stuff that can get out of control, using as few things as possible so that the daily stuff doesn't need to be or can't get out of control as easily.

[Unknown Listener]

Right?

[Unknown Co-host]

And decluttering when I'm able or when I have help getting rid of as much stuff as I can so that the cleaning is really truly just the cleaning. And also I can, you know, on a rough day where you're having, you know, extra pain, I can go a little bit longer without the actual cleaning of the scrubbing because the house is under control because I don't have the layers of the daily stuff and the clutter right? But also to remember anytime that you're decluttering. You can do a lot when you use the no mess method. And it's not all or nothing. It is every little bit that leaves this space is progress. There is so much you can do without being mobile. Like there's so much you can do just in the spot where you are. Go and watch the one hour better that I did with Ms. Teacher. She had had some major health issue issues so she was not able to.

[Unknown Listener]

Get up and move around.

[Unknown Co-host]

So we made tons of progress right where she was. Not by making piles, but by only dealing with the things that were going to go straight into the recycling, straight into the trash, or straight into the donate box. We could do that and just do those things that meant she didn't have to move around and we made huge, huge progress.

[Dana K. White]

My family is very into smoothies this summer and we pretty much always add protein powder. We've been using Clean Simple Eats. This protein powder has no artificial ingredients. It's third party tested, non GMO and gluten free and each serving has 20 grams of protein.

[Unknown Co-host]

Y'. All.

[Dana K. White]

My husband rarely leaves the house in the morning without a smoothie. He has been adding Clean Simple Eats Brownie Batter Flavor protein powder every single time lately. Clean Simple Eats has so many different flavors to choose from. My personal favorite is the strawberry cheesecake and my son who was traveling this summer was so happy to take their protein powder variety pack. I highly recommend getting that so you can try individual servings of multiple flavors and discover your own favorite. Clean Simple Eats also has clear protein powder. The pink burst flavor is supposed to taste like a melted pink starburst. Just mix the clear protein powder with water and get a light refreshing drink with 20 grams of protein. Visit cleansimpleats.com and use code CLEAN20 at checkout for 20% off your first order. That's cleansimpleats.com code CLEAN20 for 20% off your 1st order. The link is also in the show notes.

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[Jesu Jo]

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[Unknown Co-host]

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[Jesu Jo]

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[Unknown Advertiser]

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[Jesu Jo]

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[Unknown Co-host]

How to help a 17 year old declutter when she wants to hang on to everything for her one day kids. Yeah, go through the decluttering process. Because the thing is when you, especially when you're working with someone else, especially if you've had these conversations before and she's like, no, no, I want to have this for my one day kids. There are things in that space that have accumulated or drifted in that she doesn't want to, you know, keep for her one day kids. It's like the, the looking for trash is valuable. So it's like print out the five steps. Go to a slob comes clean.com 5f I V E. Print out the five steps and say let's follow this process. And you're not going to get into the. You don't need that, you won't need that, whatever. Instead you're just going to say here it is on the. The printable. That lady I listened to on the Internet. Yeah. Anyway, let's follow the steps and just try it. Whatever. So start with the trash. Is there anything in here that's trash? And you're sitting there thinking there's so much trash. And she goes, oh no. Oh, maybe this, this is trash. And she Throws that away.

[Unknown Listener]

Right.

[Unknown Co-host]

And. And you say, is there any more trash? According to her, this is all her. No, I don't see any more trash. Okay. All right, let's move to the easy stuff. Just the fact that you said okay and you didn't go, are you kidding me? That right there is trash. Because I know how it is to be a mom.

[Unknown Listener]

Right?

[Unknown Co-host]

Like, I know how we are. Just the fact that you were like, okay, and move to the next step builds a little bit of trust, and it builds a little bit of. Oh, okay. All right, so we go to the easy step. Is there anything in here that has a home somewhere else in the house, but for whatever reason, it's drifted into your room? There are things. There's probably spoons and cups and bowls and stuff like that. Right? Okay, so let's go ahead. Let's get that stuff out of here. Every little bit that leaves is identifying what is. Is there. Like, we're actually seeing what's there, and it's just a little bit less overwhelming every time she comes back to the space. So here we go. All right. Is there anything in here that you can get rid of? This lady calls it a dead donation.

[Unknown Listener]

Whatever.

[Unknown Co-host]

But is there anything that you could get rid of? Okay, just anything that. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, those. Those genes that you hate. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that right there. I know. He was the worst. And why were we keeping that? Okay, we're gonna get rid of that. Those are duh donations, Right? And then you just start going through and you say, okay. All right, so the next step is we're gonna ask the decluttering questions that she has. So if you needed this item, where would you look for it first? And maybe we're just dealing here within her space, her room. Right. Where would you look for it first?

[Unknown Listener]

Oh, okay.

[Unknown Co-host]

So you look for it and you take it there now and you acknowledge this, the reality of that space. I'm not going to go through the whole thing, but you go through the process. And with these things that she's like, well, I have to have this for my one day kids. That's not a question that we're asking ourselves in the decluttering process, but we are asking, where would you look for it first? Okay, I. A box in your. In on the top of your shelf. I mean, like, if she wants to keep things for her future one day kids, y'. All.

[Unknown Listener]

That was me.

[Unknown Co-host]

I totally understand how she feels, but it's this. Where would you look for it first? Okay. On the shelf in your closet.

[Unknown Listener]

Great.

[Unknown Co-host]

Okay, well, the shelf itself is a limited space. And so then that starts to become the. This is where you would look first for these things that you're saving for your one day kids. Okay, well, that shelf is full now, so you want to keep this thing too. But that shelf is full. Okay, well, what are you willing to get rid of? You know, to make the space for it? Because you just said you have to have this item. It is going to work more, more better. That's not a thing. It's going to work better than you think it will. But give it a try because remember, the beauty of this process is that every answer is yes. You don't have to convince them that it is dumb to keep this item. They say, I. No, no, no. I have to keep my. What were those things called? Munchy cheese. Do you remember those? It was. Was that a thing? Was these little. Anyway, I loved mine. I'm going to keep my Monchi Chi.

[Unknown Listener]

Right?

[Unknown Co-host]

And I have to keep that for my kids. I mean, it's tempting to be like, kids are not going to want this, but we're just going to say, okay, great. Well, here on the. That's where you would look for it. Okay. This is where you would look for stuff that your future kids will. You want to give to them. Okay, well, there is no room for the Monty Chi because there are Cabbage Patch Dolls and Tickle Me Elmos and I'm just trying to think of all these things. Right. And Barbies and Hot Wheels and all that kind of stuff. Okay, all right, well, what are you willing to get rid of to make room for the Monte G? Well, nothing. You don't have to say. See, there's no. You just go, oh, that stinks. But there's just no space. Okay. Oh, but you really want it. Okay, great. Yeah, absolutely. You can keep it.

[Unknown Listener]

What?

[Unknown Co-host]

What are you willing to. You know what?

[Unknown Listener]

Can.

[Unknown Co-host]

Can leave. Oh, maybe you should only keep four Barbies instead of 47 Barbies for your, you know, daughter.

[Unknown Listener]

Whatever.

[Unknown Co-host]

But it's, it's using that process. It's amazing how well it works. Okay, senior fixed income, get rid of now, replace later. No dollars for that. I really like your approach.

[Unknown Listener]

Absolutely.

[Unknown Co-host]

There are videos on that. Guaranteed. Off the top of my head, I don't know. But yeah, absolutely. We talk about the value of things. The reality is that if you cannot live easily and functionally in your space, then you are not getting the value of your apartment, your home, whatever. Like you're not able to live functionally in that. So I place the value on the space being functional, which often lets me let go of these things that I might or might not need to replace in the future. But yes, I. I would recommend that you check out your library. Decluttering at the speed of life. I would check out Decluttering at the Speed of Life at your local library if they don't have it, which most of them do. But if they don't have it, ask them to order it. And usually they'll let you be the first person who gets it when it comes in. But there's physical copies, but there's also, you know, online copies and online copies, digital, you know, ebooks and audio books and. And if you don't like, if you don't have that set up. The librarians love to help you set up your stuff to be able to check out ebooks and stuff. But yeah, that's what I would do to kind of really let yourself grasp this whole process and concept that I think will really help you with, with this right here. My mother has hoarder like tendencies, depression, and just got diagnosed with Parkinson's, but wants to have a better home.

[Unknown Listener]

Is the kitchen the best place to start?

[Unknown Co-host]

I get that 100 and move on. I am never going to say anything has to be 100 before you move on because everything that leaves your house is best. My rule for starting is the visibility rule. Okay. And what I mean by that is I start at the front entrance where people would come into your house. Because if you start in a visible space, the progress that you make, you're going to be seeing and really experiencing the power of the work that you have done, it's going to increase that decluttering energy where what happens even sometimes, like in the kitchen, if you focus in on, you know, the cabinets or something in the kitchen and really getting the stuff out of there that, that may not be a visible space. And then the work that you do, you're like, who? We've worked all day long and then you still are embarrassed to open the front door or somebody walks in and you're like, we've been working all day. And they're like, what? I don't see any difference. That could be really defeating. So it increases and perpetuates that decluttering energy to work on visible spaces first. Recently I was given a very old and tattered family Bible, which my grandmother had written in the margins. What do I do with it? I really don't want to keep it. Okay, if you already know that you don't want to keep it and you don't have a space. It's great to donate a bible. Absolutely. You can donate that. You might send out a quick text to the family and just say, hey, is there anybody that wants this? I don't have a place for it. And remember that when you're talking to family and they thought you should want it and you're like, oh wait, I actually don't blame it on the space. Always is very helpful question about grief, sentimental clutter. What is your approach? I have a room in my basement full of items for my late husband. I'm so sorry for your loss. Okay. The number one thing I would say is to not start with that. Start with other things. I just had an email from somebody today that was talking about having watched the videos for one year and then the next year she really implemented it and then she's really been sustaining the progress for a year. And the, the value is in starting in your visible spaces. Starting with the non emotional stuff first. Do not start with the hard stuff. That is the hard stuff. Okay? So really work there. Oh, I know what it was. She was talking about how much easier the hard stuff was when she got to it because of all that she had experienced and learned from doing the easy stuff, from doing the non emotional stuff. So start, give yourself permission to say, I'm going to worry about the upstairs right now. I'm going to worry about these things that aren't highly emotional and really, really work through the decluttering steps, the five step decluttering process on those, those things that are not highly volatile, you know, grief wise. And then when you get to that stuff, follow the same process. Start with the easy stuff.

[Unknown Listener]

Start with the trash.

[Unknown Co-host]

Is there any trash in here? I'm not going to even worry about anything that is not trash. I'm just gonna look for trash. And you start with those super non emotional things. And maybe there's no trash down there, but there is, you know, and you'll be amazed. You just kind of little by little start doing that. But don't start there. Start in the other things and build those decluttering muscles that will take you really far. On that visibility rule is everything. I, I mean like everything. But there's no bad place to start, right? Like do whatever you want to do. But as far as, like where do I recommend that you start to naturally build decluttering momentum? It's with the visibility role.

[Unknown Listener]

Then.

[Unknown Co-host]

Is this a place I can ask a question about the decluttering coach offering that you have? Sure, absolutely. So those of y' all who don't know, I have decluttering coaches. So if you go to decluttering coaches.com, that is my website, everyone listed there, and I think we have 40 something coaches all over the US and in several countries around the world that those are all coaches who are trained in my no mess decluttering process and certified that they have gone through the training. Okay. So that is where you can also go if you're interested in becoming a coach, if you want to learn this process and you know, have the credentials to be able to say, yeah, I know this process, I can help you through this process. Anyway, so go to declutteringcoaches.com There's a training course and then there's also certifications after you've completed the course if you want to be certified. I love this. I have 1 to 5 minute pickups anytime I have a moment. And I do dishes up to five times a day. So maybe five minutes at a time there too have clutter to move out. But y', all, you're right, Susan, that if you will get those maintenance tasks going, even though you feel like, why would I want to maintain anything in this state?

[Unknown Listener]

Right.

[Unknown Co-host]

Keep going. I mean, like, those maintenance tasks are so incredibly powerful. Okay, what do I do when all the clutter left is. My husband's also a strategy for the screws and nuts and bolts he lays all over my counter. Yeah, I would give him a container for that. You know, like this. Ask him, where would you look first for your screws, nuts and bolts when they're not all over the counter? Because, I mean, that's not their real home. Right. And then create a container in that space, whether it's an existing container that already exists or whatever. And then that is, you know, the spot and, and, and work together on the five minute pickup. I know, I know that that's an easy thing to say and more difficult thing to actually do. But see if you can get on board to do the five minute pickup together so that, that, you know, moving of the things to the place where you would look for it first, where it actually belongs, becomes a consistent thing so that it's not tons all over the counter, but it's the, you know, the bits and pieces day by day work on those five minute pickups. But I also, I'm always going to challenge that. It's rare that everything left itself, but it could be true. It could be true. Right. So I'm not gonna say it's not, but keep on working on Your stuff in neutral stuff. How do I manage not piling more clutter as I buy more things like holding on to packaging boxes because you might need them. Okay, so this is two. Two questions I'm going to answer. The best way to keep from bringing more clutter into your house is to declutter. Meaning the more you declutter, the more you go through the pain of getting rid of something and go through the self loathing. Sorry, but of like, are you kidding me? Why did I ever have this? Blah, blah, blah. I mean, like the, the decluttering process prevents a lot of that, but you still feel it, right? You still feel it. So that will make future items that are just destined to turn into clutter look different to you in the store and keep you from bringing them into the house. But as far as holding on to packaging boxes because you might need them, ask yourself, where would I look first for a packaging box? And then you take it to that spot where you would look first for it, and you see, is there any room here to keep old packaging boxes? And you let that space. Not a pile. Okay, because we don't want piles. But like, where would I look first if there's not. If this floor is clear, okay, I would look first for it in this cabinet under this, you know, countertop. Okay. Then that is the limit to how many of those you can actually keep. Okay? You let that space decide how many you can keep, which will naturally sort out the boxes that you might actually need in the future. And the ones that you're like, oh, wait a minute. When I look at it that way, as I can't just keep everything, it has to have a real space. And this is the limit of the space. When I look at it that way, I realize, oh, that's not a box I would ever use. I've got six others of those and they're just like it. But so it just using that, that process on, on everything. Okay, how do we deal with that self loathing? Are there any good phrases to encourage to keep going instead of giving into that guilt? I am not a phrases. I mean, like, I mean, I'm sure there are phrases, right? You know, like progress and only progress or, you know, organized, or people whose houses are always under control. Just, just what is something I said that somebody was like, oh, that's a great quote. And anyway, people whose houses are consistently out of control, under control, choose to live with regret instead of with clutter or whatever. You know, like things like that. But as far as the self loathing Remember that the five step process does not use any of that. Okay. It doesn't mean we're never going to feel that frustration, but it doesn't use any of it. So you can keep plowing through the process and say, okay, those are not helpful thoughts that are moving me forward. So instead I'm going to say when I'm like, why do I have this? We don't ask that question. Instead we say, where would I look for it first? And sometimes I ask that about stuff that I'm irritated I have it and I'm tempted to spin out on the oh my word, why do I even have. And I'm like, nope, where would I look for this first? I wouldn't look for it. Okay, it can go in the donate box. I don't have to worry about why I had it. I don't that it's gone. I had a tool. Where would I look for it first as a way to help me through this and make these decisions that is not based on. Because the problem is when you're like, you know, do I love it? Will I ever use it? Then I'm bringing in all these things that then help me fixate on the whole, like, why do I, you know, why am I this way or whatever. How do you teach a four year old that new toys are not always necessary? I have tried to state that we don't have space. Container concept has been a struggle for him. Should I declutter without him? You know your kid on the decluttering without him. I know there are people who are adamantly against it because of their own, you know, difficult situations that they live through as children. Um, I personally, my kids were always thrilled when I decluttered without them because they were like, woohoo. We came home and it looks great. Like they were always excited about that. So you kind of have to know.

[Unknown Listener]

Your own kid there.

[Unknown Co-host]

I would say go through the decluttering process with him from beginning to end.

[Unknown Listener]

Okay.

[Unknown Co-host]

Kind of like I talked about with the 17 year old earlier, really go through that, you know, okay, let's look for trash and let him be. The answerer was as far as the container concept being a struggle, really, really emphasize and use the one in one out rule. Okay, so how do I teach them that new toys are not always necessary? It's the, if you're gonna have a new toy, okay, what are you willing, you know, what do you want to get rid of so we have room for the new toy that you're buying with your own money or you know, whatever. What, what are you going to get rid of for this so that we have the space for it that will help to bring that into focus of the well, I don't want to get rid of something. Okay, well then there's no room for a new toy.

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[Unknown Listener]

How to live with Baby.

[Unknown Co-host]

Equipment, Clutter, swing, bouncy chair, Etc When I've been decluttering for so long and was at a sweet spot, we have three boys in school and now a baby at home. This is life, right? Like, this is life. And it's wonderful. It's a wonderful, wonderful thing. And so kind of like we were talking about in the when the question where somebody was saying that they were in the middle of remodeling and it's like, okay, let's, let's really minimize the things that we can minimize because this is our reality right now. We are doing remodeling. Let's minimize the things that we can minimize because we have a new baby and the new baby needs certain things. Now because you've been decluttering, my guess is that maybe what you thought you needed for your first one, you now have the experience. You've got a fourth one, and you're like, okay, we don't need all this stuff. So you kind of have identified what things you need. But it can still be hard, right? Like, because here's equipment that is needed that we don't otherwise need. And maybe you had been able to get rid of some of those things, you know, with the other ones and had enjoyed that having more space. But it's like, here, this is our family. Now we have a baby, which means we need to not have, you know, these items for this phase of life. We need to get rid of this category of items or we need to have a lot less in all the stuff because now we have a baby and that baby deserves space. I'm having another baby in the spring. How can I prep for those postpartum months when I know my clutter threshold will be lower, but it's temporary. I mean, I would just declutter everything that you can. Everything that needs to be decluttered anyway. This, the idea of something being temporary. I know for me, it's like when it's temporary, it never hurts me to go even more decluttered because it's temporary and life is going to bring more stuff into my life anyway eventually.

[Unknown Listener]

Right?

[Unknown Co-host]

You know, so instead of thinking, oh, it's going to be, you know, it's like, let's go ahead and declutter the dishes as much as I can so that there will be fewer dishes that can possibly get dirty. Let's see. I think we have a video that's supposed to come out at some point about decluttering. I mean, it was about, like getting rid of a lot of stuff in Gmail. I know I have a couple of blog posts and the Gmail one is still, I know for sure, current on how to delete a bunch of Gmail at one time. So you could Google that with a Slob Comes Clean and you'll be able to find it. I hear from a lot of people who are like, I just follow the same decluttering process. That's the thing. I say the same stuff all the time because I'm like, I'm not going to invent something new when the process works, right? So when you go into digital stuff saying, okay, I am going to start with the easiest of the easy stuff. I'm just going to get rid of the trash, go through that and then trash, trash, trash, trash. Okay, easy. What do I already know needs to be sorted out and put into the right place here. Okay, let me go to, you know, I mean, obviously the dud donations. I don't know how that would work, but, you know, where would I look for this first? Okay, that's the folder I'm going to put it in over here. So what to do when working on one space and take things to its home? That space also needs to be decluttered. There's no room. I feel like I have to then do that space to make room and nothing gets done. Okay, this is a question. I get a lot, right? So what you do in this situation is you remember that I'm working on that initial space. So, yes, there is no room for this item here, but my goal is that initial space. So all I'm going to do is remove something from this space that creates the space I need for this item that I say I would look for here.

[Unknown Listener]

First.

[Unknown Co-host]

So this is its home. Okay. So ideally I am going to look for trash or a dead donation in this space. And you just said this space needs to be done too.

[Unknown Listener]

Right.

[Unknown Co-host]

So that means things are going to need to leave this space. So there's got to be a dud donation or trash. So I'm going to take out something that is tr. A lot of times it's packaging. You know that somehow I had the whole thing in there with the packaging and then I used all those pencils out of there and the packaging somehow is still here. There's always trash in all these spaces.

[Unknown Listener]

Right.

[Unknown Co-host]

So what in this space is trash or recycling that I can pull out to create the space for this item I would look for first there. What in here is a duh, easy donation. I don't even have to think, oh, yeah, well that can go. Yeah, I'll get rid of that. In order to create space for this item that I would look for first here. And then the reason we ideally want a dud donation or trash is that your donatable donate box and your trash bag recycling bin are back at the space that you were originally working on. So it takes you back to that space. So we're not going to stop and now start working on this space. We're just going to remove something and that is moving your whole house forward and it's keeping you back on this original space. Okay, let's see. I have so many books all over my apartment. I pick them up and let them lying around. I wish I did better. Okay. The best thing to do instead of wishing you did better, because I get it right? Like I'm a person who I'm like, how did I let that happen? That's me is the five minute pickup. That is the solution. Wishing I was different than I was never actually helped. But doing five minute pickups actually helps. So just doing a five minute pickup every day, almost every day, whenever you think about it, will start to change that significantly. Let's see. Thank you, Daniel, for your kind words over the year. I've listened since before the world went. The concept of helped me learn things, learn that these things are all skills that can be learned. I'm using them with my adult brother who has developmental disabilities. Thank you so much. He is learning now too. I love it. Yeah. These are skills that can be learned. That's a. That's a huge, huge realization for you to have. That's going to take you really, really far. Okay. What is the high level difference between your books? Okay, so, so this one right here, how to manage your home without losing your mind. That's my first book and it was very important to me that that be the first book. It is the how to go from oh my word. Why is this so hard? Why does it seem easy for everyone else? For everyone else? And it's so hard for me to, oh, okay, this is what I have to do to keep my manage my house without losing my mind. That is the one that is for the person who is completely overwhelmed. Like, why is this so hard? Decluttering at the speed of life is for anybody. Because it's my decluttering process and it like works in any situation, any home. It has the mindset shifts that you need to make to change how you think about your stuff in your home. And it guides you through the five step process applied to the different areas of your home. Also has a section at the end chapter, specifically on grief and clutter and then organizing for the rest of us. Right there is the hardback one. And it is what they call a gift book. And it's basically like the stuff that is like deep in the other books. It's like in tip format, like quick little tip format with pictures and stuff. So how to help my parents the most with decluttering. This is a tough one. Okay. Because there's all kinds of things here. Like, do they want your help or not?

[Unknown Listener]

Whatever.

[Unknown Co-host]

The first thing I would say is that if they are resistant, help them do the things that they do know needs to be done. Help them with their procrastinator, help them with doing the dishes and putting the dishes away, getting caught up with laundry, all that kind of stuff. I don't know what kind of situation you're here, but if it is they need help with decluttering and they know they need help. I would follow the same process. I would start in the most visible space and go through the five steps that are in decluttering speed of life that you can [e-mail] 5 like go through those five steps. I always recommend printing out that piece of paper so that it is. This is what she's saying. I'm not the one telling you what to do. This is the actual expert who's written the book and it's worked for, you know, hundreds of thousands of people. Whatever. Yeah. One more question. This is it. How to deal with demotivation. I live in a house with two grown adults and I'm trying to focus on myself, but it feels like they keep making messes right Where I clean, decluttered, and bring in more. That's a legitimate challenge that you're. You're facing. Five minute pickups. I know. Like, really focus in on those daily tasks and see the power of the daily tasks as opposed to the power of the big cleans. When I was. My whole house is out of control. I would do a ton of work, and then my family would mess it up, and I was so resentful.

[Unknown Listener]

Right.

[Unknown Co-host]

But when I really zeroed in on doing those daily tasks, keeping the dishes done so that there were never that many dishes, and it's not that it's not frustrating when there's more dishes, but when I finally grasp the whole, like, if I will do them consistently, it never gets out of control. It never gets as overwhelming as it used to be. Five minute pickups will take, okay, I decluttered this space, and then now there are things in there, and it automatically feels like, oh, no, it's back to what it was before. But it's not right. It's not back to what it was before it. A five minute pickup will do that. So if you're able to bring everybody in on the, like, what am I saying? If you're able to bring, like, if you live in a situation where you're like, hey, can we please start doing these five minute pickups? Just five minutes. I really, truly mean five minutes. Yeah, got it. Okay. I think that's all I have time for right now, but this has been fun. You all are the greatest. Y' all are the greatest. Okay, I will talk to you later. Bye.