490: Four Reasons the No Mess Decluttering Process Works for Kids (and Anyone)

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: A Slob Comes Clean with Dana K. White

Episode 490: Four Reasons the No Mess Decluttering Process Works for Kids (and Anyone)
Release Date: December 25, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this festive, practical episode, Dana K. White dives into the core reasons why her signature "No Mess Decluttering Process" is so effective for children—and for anyone who struggles with clutter. Drawing on her personal experiences, sneak peeks from her new children's book Winnie’s Pile of Pillows, and over a decade of decluttering advice, Dana breaks down the process's strengths, shares actionable tips, and highlights how this practical, reality-based approach eliminates power struggles and supports both kids and parents in maintaining organized, functional spaces.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Decluttering as a Reality-Based, Step-by-Step Process

• Dana introduces and reiterates her five-step "No Mess Decluttering Process," emphasizing that it always leads to progress, never disaster—crucially, you never pull everything out at once ([02:17]).
• The process is designed so you can stop at any point and only have made progress, never more mess, making it manageable for all ages and attention spans.

Notable Quote:

"Because we never pull everything out of the space. … You go item by item, final decision by final decision and acting on that final decision. And that means you can stop at any time and you’ve only made progress."
— Dana K. White [02:48]

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2. Reason 1: The Power of the Concrete—The Container Concept

• The heart of the process is the "container concept," which flips the popular perception of containers as storage solutions to seeing them as boundaries ([07:10]).
• Containers serve as a visual, physical limit for how much can be kept. The space dictates what stays, not abstract sentimental or theoretical value.

Memorable Moments:

• Dana explains how her own mindset changed when she realized containers weren't for keeping more but for limiting:

  "I realized that containers are not for putting things in. They are meant to contain. They are meant to serve as a limit. They are meant to be a boundary." ([08:14])

• By embracing the finite nature of a space—a shelf, bucket, or bin—kids and adults alike can make decluttering decisions without angst.

Practical Example:

• For crayons: Only as many stay as fit in the designated bucket. Children can choose their favorites, and the bucket's capacity makes the decision easy and concrete ([10:41]).

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3. Reason 2: Eliminates the Power Struggle

• Because the process is based on indisputable, physical boundaries, parents get to say "yes" more often. The space becomes the final authority, not the parent ([20:24]).
• When a child wants to keep something new, the parent agrees but gently prompts: "Which one are you willing to get rid of in order to make the space for this?" ([20:34])
• This direct, visual encounter with the limitation eliminates the emotional power struggle and resistance that often sabotages decluttering attempts.

Notable Quote:

"Decluttering is hard. … But when it is outside of me and it’s this concrete concept of this is the space. Look, it’s not me saying that you can’t keep all of them. It's a fact of the physical space."
— Dana K. White [20:46]

Practical Application:

• Walking together to "take it there now" allows the child to see firsthand if something fits. If it doesn't, they choose what goes, reducing argument ([23:18]).

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4. Reason 3: Kids Get to Be Themselves

• This process honors individuality—kids can be quirky and attached to certain items. They get to keep the things they truly love, as long as it fits within the space ([26:07]).
• The method removes the burden of the parent needing to judge or devalue a child’s belongings.

Notable Quote:

"They get to be them. They get to like what they like. They get to treasure what they treasure. But with a space that isn’t out of control."
— Dana K. White [26:14]

Dana’s Real-Life Example:

• For her daughter, simply identifying a shelving unit as the limit for stuffed animals made letting go easier—and sometimes, her daughter didn't even need all the space ([27:37]).

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5. Reason 4: Parents Get What They Want—Organized Spaces Through Decluttering

• Dana underscores that organizing isn't the same as decluttering. Don't start with storage plans or Pinterest boards—just focus on removing what doesn’t fit ([32:06]).
• Function and easy upkeep, not cuteness, are the primary results and goals. A five-step process brings a room to the "organized" state because it is functional, accessible, and not overwhelming.

Notable Quote:

"Decluttering and organizing are not the same thing. Decluttering is so much less pressure and it is a process."
— Dana K. White [32:14]

Key Insight:

• Declutter first—only then do you know what needs a "home."
• For kids especially, trying to plan storage for all possible stages and changing interests is unnecessary and overwhelming. The no mess method relieves that pressure ([33:00]).

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Bonus Tips & Practical Takeaways

Play Space is Already Used Space

• Floor space or open table areas are for play, not storage. "Open space" is not available for putting things, it's already being 'used' for play ([35:00]).

Understanding Clutter Threshold

• Each person, child or adult, has their own "clutter threshold"—the amount of stuff they can keep under control. The test: A five-minute pickup on a normal day should restore order ([36:50]).

Maintenance: The One In, One Out Rule

• After the initial declutter, maintain order with "one in, one out": every new item means an old one goes. This principle only works after embracing the container concept and decluttering to fit the space ([38:38]).
• If the area is already overwhelming, don't jump to "one in, one out." Declutter first.

Notable Quote:

"Once you embrace the reality of that space, then the way to maintain it… is that when something new comes in, then I have to remove something else."
— Dana K. White [39:04]

Real-World Application:

• Use new Christmas or birthday toys as the cue: "Where would you look for this first? Let's take it there now. Is there space?" ([41:20])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments by Timestamp

• [02:48] — "You can stop at any time and you’ve only made progress."
• [08:14] — "Containers are not for putting things in. They are meant to contain."
• [20:46] — "It’s not me saying that you can’t keep all of them. It's a fact of the physical space."
• [26:14] — "They get to be them. They get to like what they like. … But with a space that isn’t out of control."
• [32:14] — "Decluttering and organizing are not the same thing. Decluttering is so much less pressure and it is a process."
• [39:04] — "Once you embrace the reality of that space, then the way to maintain it… is that when something new comes in, then I have to remove something else."
• [41:20] — "Where would you look for this first? Let's take it there now. Is there space?"

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Episode Tone & Recommended Resources

Dana’s style is warm, self-deprecating, and intensely practical; she shares both her past struggles and her solutions with candor, humor, and empathy. The episode promotes the upcoming release of her children’s book Winnie’s Pile of Pillows, which distills these principles into a kid-friendly format and encourages listeners to preorder for access to special printable resources tailored for kids’ spaces.

Find more:

• Five-step process printable for adults: aslobcomesclean.com/5
• Preorder Winnie’s Pile of Pillows: aslobcomesclean.com/winnie

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|------------| | Decluttering overview & course plug | 00:00–06:29| | Why the No Mess Process works (Reason 1) | 07:03–19:23| | Power Struggle Eliminated (Reason 2) | 20:24–26:00| | Kids’ Individuality Honored (Reason 3) | 26:07–31:02| | Decluttering vs. Organizing (Reason 4) | 32:06–35:00| | Play space, clutter threshold, maintenance | 35:00–42:30| | Final thoughts, book preorder info | 42:30–end |

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In sum:
This episode is a concise, encouraging masterclass on using the container concept and the No Mess Decluttering Process to transform any child’s—or adult’s—space into one that’s clutter-free, manageable, and tailored to individual preferences, all with less stress and no tears.

Transcript

[Dana K. White]

Y', all, the Take youe House Back course is on sale right now. If you want to make major changes in your home in the new year, grab this course now. So I teach this course with dawn from the Minimal mom and Cass from Clutterbug. We have a lot of fun there. But most importantly, people take their houses back even after years of struggling. Tens of thousands of people have gone through this course and absolutely love it. To learn more and grab it while it's on sale, go to aslob comes clean.com take that's aslobcomesclean.com to get it while it's on sale for $94. Welcome to a Slob Comes Clean, the Podcast. I am Dana K. White. I share my personal desalabification process as I figure out ways to keep my own home under control. I share the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people. Even people who don't like cleaning and organizing like me. Thanks for joining me today. This is podcast number 490. Merry Christmas. It's actually going to be December 25th when I put this out. And welcome if you have just decided, you know what, I think I might start decluttering and I think I'm going to use this time and I think I'm motivated by the fact that we've had stuff come into our house and it's time to get it's normal. I know that it feels like where is this coming from? It's actually this is the day that a lot of the world goes bananas for decluttering. So welcome if you're new. If you have been here a while, thank you so much for sticking around. I am calling this podcast four Reasons the no Mess Decluttering Process Works for Kids and anyone. So the no Mess Decluttering Process is my five step process that allows you to make progress and only progress no matter what time you have available. Because we never pull everything out of the space. We just, I mean we. You do whatever you want to do, but if you're following my process, you go item by item, final decision by final decision and acting on that final decision. And that means that you can stop at any time and you've only made progress. If you would like a copy of that, go to a slob comes clean.com 5F I V E Get a copy of that. I highly recommend during this week when you are zeroed in on decluttering, if you are to read Decluttering at the Speed of Life, the audio version is me reading it you can play that while you're actually doing the work and it will help you change your mindset on your home and your space and your stuff. And it takes my five step process and applies teaches it and applies it to the different areas of your home and the different relationships in your life, which is kind of what we're talking about today. Why this process specifically works so well with kids if you don't have kids, keep listening anyway. Because the same reasons why it works so well with kids are the reasons why it works so well for me. Okay. But I boiled it down to the point where I can't argue with it anymore because I'm really good at arguing with stuff that I don't want to do, like decluttering. But because of that, it also works exceptionally well with kids. The reason why I'm zeroing in on kids in this episode is that on February 17, my first children's book is coming out. It is called Winnie's Pile of Pillows. Winnie is a walrus and she loves pillows and she loves them so much and has all these amazing opportunities to collect more and be given more and bring more into her home and to all of a sudden this thing that she loves has kind of exploded in her room and now she can't actually enjoy her room anymore because it's completely overrun with pillows. I mean, I relate to that. I'm so excited about Winnie's Pile of Pillows coming out. The pre order Blast off launch. Whatever. I am announcing this today. You can go to a slobcamsclean.com winnie to find out about ordering it. It's available wherever books are sold, all the normal places and there are pre order bonuses including a Winnie focused kid focused version of my five step process. Just like you can get for yourself at a slob comes clean.com 5. You can get it for your kids when you Pre [e-mail] Winnie W I N N I E so wanted to make sure you knew about that. I'm just going to say it. I think you should order this children's book for every kid in your life and the local schools and all the teachers you know, and the preschools and all of those. Just go donate them because go check out the pre order bonuses and what we've got going on because I think you should do that. I'm really, really proud of this. I know I'm going on and on about it, but I just want to make sure you know about it because I am. This has been an extremely fun process. Like, probably one of the most fun things I've gotten to do as a writer is write a children's book. And I don't think this is going to come as a surprise to y' all necessarily, but because you already know me, but I was a little bit of a surprise to my publisher when I did not want them to bring someone else in to write a children's book based on my concept. I was like, I don't know, I'm writing this, I'm the writer, I'm writing it. Why would I want anyone else to? Because I had very specific ideas of what I wanted it to be. And I wanted it to be fun and funny and also real for the things that I have struggled with my entire life that I finally figured out. And I'm like, this is the book that would have helped me as a child who had the messy room. So if your goal is to let your kid be who they are, to celebrate the things that they love and that get them excited while also not letting those things take over to the point where their rooms are out of control, their spaces are out of control, this is the book. Winnie will help them learn that in a fun way. It's a. I think it's ages 4 to 8 or so. It's like a picture book. Bright, colorful. I love it. A slob comes clean.com Winnie, you can go get that pre ordered. Obviously it won't come out till February, but go ahead and do that now so you can get the printable now.

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[Dana K. White]

So let's talk about why specifically the no mess decluttering process works so well for kids and for anyone. Again, these are the same reasons that it works well for me. Number one, it is concrete meaning it is a physical reality that I can see and experience as opposed to theory. There are no what ifs, I woulds, I shoulds. The container concept specifically, which is the key thing that ultimately the five step, my five step no mess decluttering process leads you to, is embracing. You know, that's the final step. But you're ready to do it. By the time you get to this final step, you embrace the reality of the space. So what is the container concept? The container concept is this space is finite. I used to think that containers were for putting things in. I knew that organized people loved containers. And I thought, well, I want my space to look like theirs. They love containers. So I would go buy containers, maybe just exactly like the ones that they had. I came home, put my stuff in these containers, had so much stuff left over. So I go buy more containers or different containers, and continually brought all these containers into my house. And it never actually made me. My house get under control. Then I realized that containers are not for putting things in. They are meant to contain. They are meant to serve as a limit. They are meant to be a boundary. When I realized that the purpose of a container was to serve as a boundary, then I was freed from all of those value decisions that I had thought I needed to make about all of my stuff. I thought I needed to look at every Christmas ornament, every Barbie doll, every Barbie shoe, every cup, plate, everything, and ask myself, is this a good plate? Will I ever use it? Do I need it? Those are all things that, of course they're going to play into the decision. But those are not the questions I ask in decluttering because they allow my brain to spin out. I had somebody on a YouTube video recently say, but will I ever need it? Is a yes or no question. I'm like, okay, except that that doesn't actually move my house forward in getting my house decluttered. And also for me, it's not just a yes or no question, because I'm like, will I ever need it? And my answer is, well, technically, probably not. But I might come up with an idea when I would want to use and. And I can spin out, right? So instead, I asked myself, if I needed this item, where would I look for it first? That's where it goes. And I'm saying this very flippantly, but that's what the whole book Decluttering at the Speed of Life like, goes into. So. So don't worry, I'm not being flippant about, like, oh, yeah, just do this. I know it's more than that for a lot of us, but I take it to that space and I face the reality. Is there space for this item? If there's not space, am I willing to get rid of something else to make the space for it here in this place where I would look for it? It's a physical reality. When I have a bucket for crayons, it is a physical reality that only a certain number of crayons, which I don't even have to know what that number is. Like, it doesn't matter what the number is. But only a certain number of crayons are going to fit into that bucket. I can have 25 huge bins full of great, perfectly good, absolutely. I could use it. I absolutely could maybe, possibly, legitimately need it someday crayons. But if the space that I have to put those crayons in is this one bucket, then I'm going to put my favorite ones in first. And then I'm going to let the bucket be the decider of this. It's full. There's no room for it. There are no room for more crayons to go in there. And I know some of you, if this is your first time again, welcome, and you may be thinking, well, just get another bucket or just add this blah, blah, blah. I totally understand that. Go watch the video about the container concept that is linked in the show notes for this episode. This is it's concrete truth. And that's what I needed. I needed concrete in front of me. Nothing changes because I wish it would change or I want it to change. It is a fact. This space that I have is the space that I have. And if I try to keep more stuff than will fit in this space, there is no hope of my house or my space ever being under control. And so the container concept being concrete is what works so well for me and works exceptionally well with children because it's visual, it's physical. There is no need for me to explain. You know, we really just don't need all these things. And I mean, you're gonna. You're fine with. You're fine with this many crayons or blah, blah. I don't have to have those pleading things when in their mind they're thinking, you just don't understand me. You just don't understand that I love green and so green. I've got to have every single shade of green. They can love green. But if it's the container that is physically in front of them making that decision for us of how much can stay and the space be under control, then it works exceptionally well to say put your favorite ones in first. If that means that all they keep is all the shades of green and they don't keep any pink or keep any purple or whatever, fine. Because it's this concrete thing right in front of my face. Right. Like that's, that is the thing that changed everything for me personally, which this is the theme of Winnie's Pile of Pillows, is realizing that embracing the reality of my space made decluttering so much easier. It removed the angst, it removed all of that tough, tough decision making that I thought I needed to do, that I actually didn't really need to do. So the container concept being concrete is huge. Take it there now. I mentioned this before. When we take it there now, then it's a concrete thing. When I take it to the space where I would look for it first and I face that space, as long as I'm only setting it aside and saying, yes, that's where I would look for it, I'm going to go do that later. I'm going to procrastinate on that. Then I don't actually know what that space is. It's all in my head. It's ambiguous. It's. I'm pretty sure I remember what was in there and I'm sure it'll be fine and blah, blah. And I'm not thinking about the, the reality of physical space and how it's not going to fit in there. But if I take it there now, I face that concrete truth of there is no space for it here. But it still doesn't have to be a. There is no space for it here, which is the, the problem. Right. And the frustration that happens typically when you're trying to help your kid declutter as you're like, hello, how do you not see that? Okay, I don't have to do that. I just say, oh, absolutely, let's take it there right now. Oh, there's no space for it here. What are you willing to get rid of in order to create the space for this item that you say you would look for here first? And then the decision is either what am I going to get rid of in order to make this space, or I'm actually not going to keep this item because I'm not willing to, to get rid of something else. So it does. It's not a matter of decide that something is bad, which is a lot of the tension that happens when you're helping anyone else. Declutter is the, the traditional and I'm going to say traditional. But what I always thought you had to do to declutter was decide that you didn't like something. I thought, when I thought that, do I love it? How do I feel about it? Is it useful? All this, I thought if that's how I'm Going to choose to keep something, then to get rid of anything means rejecting that item and saying it doesn't have value and saying that it's bad. But if I don't think it's bad, then what do I do? We don't have to ask any of those questions. You can think an item is amazing, and still the physical space in front of of our faces is the thing that helps show what's spaceworthy and what's not spaceworthy. So. But taking it there now does that. Barbies, Hot Wheels, whatever kids are into these days, I feel like I'm kind of out of that. You know, you go through that phase. My kids are all, we'll see. They're 19, 22 and 23. At the moment when I'm recording this, actually at the moment when I. This comes out for just a couple more days, there'll be those ages. But that, you know, I'm kind of out of those. What are the little kids obsession toys that people are super into? So I'm just kind of going with the classics Barbies and Hot Wheels. Right? But you, absolutely, you can love those things. You can love the ones that you want to love. And yet the space is finite. So as the parent, as the person who is leading someone else through that, helping to identify the container and say, okay, this is the space that we have for your Barbies. This is the space that we have for your Hot Wheels. Put your favorite ones in first, or let's remove your least favorites until you know everything fits in there. That is my job as the guider, is to help identify the container. The beauty of that is that I always get to say yes, I always get to be agreeable, which we're going to get into in the next one. But I get to be agreeable because if they say, oh, no, I have to keep more Barbies than will fit in this, it's not a matter of me saying no, it's a matter of me saying, okay, then you can't also keep the Hot Wheels because there's not room. Like we have to get rid of the Hot Wheels in order to keep more Barbies. Right? So it allows me to do that. 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[Dana K. White]

My answer gets to be yes. When the shelf is full of books or, or stuffed animals or whatever it is that we're putting on that shelf when it's full and they find something else that they really want to keep, I get to say, of course you can keep it, but I'm guiding them. And I say, okay, which one are you willing to get rid of in order to make the space for this. Which one are you willing to donate to other kids who need stuffed animals so that you'll have room for this one that you love? And if they say, oh, no, I can't get rid of another one, then you get to say, okay, well, then this one needs to go. If nothing else is. If you can't get rid of something to make the space for it, then this one needs to go and you get to be sad together. Decluttering is hard. It is getting rid of things that I don't want to get rid of. That's what it has been for me all along. But when it is outside of me and it's this concrete concept of this is the space. Look, it's not me saying that you can't keep all of them. It's a fact of the physical space. And so look how the space is full. That. That eliminates so much of that power struggle. It allows them to pick what is important to them and take it there now. Causes them to face the facts versus me explaining the facts. Okay, and this can be really hard in the beginning, the first couple of things that you pick up when maybe you haven't decluttered with this way with your kid or whoever it is or with yourself in the past, and you pick something up and, you know, you say you thought it was going to be trash. They didn't throw it in the trash. And you're like, oh, my goodness. Because they're the ones who get to decide what's obvious trash. You're going to get to it through the. I mean, we're not just going to say, okay, well everything you want to keep, you want to keep. No, the container makes those decisions. We can't keep everything but the obvious trash. They decide what's obvious. If they didn't see that it was obvious and you're like, oh, my goodness, I can't believe we're still doing. Okay, where would you look first for the packaging from the Barbie that you just got that you've already played with and you've already opened the box and the box tore and all of this. I mean, like, there's really in your mind and you want to explain that this is torn, that you're. You've never played with one of these before. These always end up shoved at the bottom of your closet. These are. There's really no way for you to put this back in there. I know it's a neat background looking, but that's not actually something that you've ever played with before. That's me explaining facts. Those are facts. Those are all true. I know them as the mom. However, if instead of explaining the facts, I ask, okay, well, where would you look first for this torn, barely usable, whatever packaging for this Barbie that you just got? Where would you look first for that? Well, I mean, no, this is our play space. So this is not where anything can be stored because we need to leave this open for you to be able to play here. So where would you look first for. Okay, well, let's take it there. Now, even though in your mind you're thinking, why are we wasting our time doing this? Why are we walking all the way to that shelf in her closet where she says she would look for this first? And I'm thinking, there's no room for it there. I want to say, there's no room for it there. You're no, there's, there's no reason to put it there. We're not going to walk all that way when I already know there's not going to be room for it. If I will take it there. Now, then we face the reality of that. It is a concrete example right in front of me that there is no room for it. And it is a facing of the facts to say, oh, if you want to keep this, what are you willing to get? You know, they insist they really want to keep it. All right, well, then that means we're going to have to get rid of your favorite book, your favorite stuffed animal, whatever. These. This has to go because there's not room for both. This is me. This is us facing facts together versus me explaining facts makes sense. So container concept is concrete. That's one of the reasons why this no mess process works so well with kids and me. It eliminates the power struggle. That's a reason why this works really well when helping kids and anyone, because nobody likes that power struggle. That I believe is the reason that so many people resist so hard. When someone who loves them and means well and wants to help says, let's declutter together. I think resistance often comes from in the past. It has always turned into a power struggle. It has always turned into resistance. And this process eliminates that. So you have to prove that. You have to experience it. You have to show it. But it does. If you will follow the process, it eliminates that power struggle. Okay, next reason why this process works so well with kids. They get to be them. I kind of mentioned this before. They get to be them. They get to like what they like. They get to treasure what they treasure. But with a space that isn't out of control. And I know that there are varying degrees of responses by different parents to this statement. I know that there are some parents and I hear it and I'll just tell you, it's, you know, as the kid who liked the weird stuff, I get a little offended for the child in these situations. But I do hear the moms who are like, I don't want them to like that, okay? And I said that, I said that the way that I heard it when I, you know, hear people talking like that. But if it is important to you for your kid to get to like what they like but not have it take cause the space to get out of control, this is how to do it. This process allows for that. Embracing the reality of the container concept, letting that container make those decisions. If you are sitting here thinking, yeah, but that will never work with my kid. The container concept can't work with my kid because they're so attached to things. Try it. Non committal experimentation. We've talked about that in a recent episode that multiple people have said was very, very helpful for them to have that mindset. This non committal experimentation, like, let me see, see how my kid would do. Embracing the reality of the container. For my daughter, it was a shelving, a three shelf thing that was attached to the wall so it was safe. But this three shelf unit that we used for her stuffed animals, and her stuffed animals were spread everywhere, they were all over. And I said, let's put your favorite ones on there first. And we didn't get to the point where we were agonizing over which ones were the last ones to put there. It was strangely easy. I get emails from people all the time who tell me the same thing. They're like, I did not think this would work for my kid. I could not believe how much they were willing to get rid of when we embraced. When I said, hey, this is the bucket for whatever. And they started putting things in there and the bucket wasn't even full. And they were like, yeah, I'm good. Same way, you know, I tell people when you're moving and you use the boxes as containers, it rarely comes down to, oh no, the box is full now. I make hard decisions. Just knowing that there is a limit to how much, how much I can have makes even the very first item I pick up look different to me. Because do I really want to take up space? That's going to mean that there won't be space for something else or not. And then this item Suddenly it reveals itself to me as less important to me than I thought it was. So the kid gets to like what they like. They make the decisions of what goes in the container. As the parent, it's my job to designate the container to say this. This is the shelf that we have. This is your room. We gotta have play space. We'll talk about that at the end, too. You gotta have space, open space for you to play. This is the spot for the Barbies. This is the spot for the Hot Wheels. And we want it to be somewhere where they would look for it first. But let's, you know, this bucket, this bin, whatever, this is the spot that determines how many of these you can keep. So you either remove your least favorites until it all fits, or you put in your most favorites first. And you know, we talked before about the identifying trash, obvious donations. Those are the first three steps of the process. First step is obvious trash. Second step is easy stuff. Stuff that already has an established home somewhere else. Those two steps, they're the ones saying, oh, this is trash. Oh, this is easy. But the take it there now, when you get into the. If you needed this item, where would you look for it first? And then you take it there now that. Take it there now. And then once we're at the end saying, okay, there's still too much in this space, we gotta remove our least favorites until it all fits. And the container concept, those are the things that keep the fact that they don't see trash as trash from being a disaster and from being the thing that makes their room out of control, their space out of control. Okay? Because yes, we're going to let them identify trash, but we're going to get down to the point where, okay, even this item that I would have thought is trash, that you insist is not trash, where would you look for it first? Let's take it there now. And often that means that, you know, you're. You're taking a chip bag to this place where you'd look for it first. Okay, what are you willing to get rid of in order to get rid of this chip bag? And then it become. It's that physical space again, right? It all comes down to that physical space, that concrete reality of is there space for it or not?

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[Dana K. White]

The fourth reason that the no mess decluttering process works so well with kids and anyone is that you as the parent, get what you want and organize space. But you do it just through decluttering. That was the biggest mind blowing thing for me when I realized decluttering and organizing are not the same thing. Decluttering is so much less pressure and it is a process. I have this process that I've created for myself where I work through these five steps and I get all the way from it's an overwhelming mess of stuff, just like a pile or piles of things all the way down to oh, I only have what will fit functionally in this space, which is basically it being organized because I can see what I have, I can access what I have, I can put back what I have easily. I know where things are. That is basically being organized. It may not be the cute little bins and the color coordination that you were dreaming of, but it is organized because it's completely and totally functional. But I got there through decluttering. So you get to achieve what you wanted, but all you had to do to get there was declutter. And the five step no Mess process gives you the process to declutter. We start with the trash. We know exactly what to do. And so the reason why this is an advantage, the reason why this works so well, is that if you don't separate decluttering and organizing and you're just viewing it all as getting organized. I know this from experience. What I used to do, I would look at a space that was a total mess, like had all kinds of stuff, who knew what was in there? And I would think I've got to get organized. And I thought I needed to have a plan first. Well, making a plan for your child's room Any organizing plan was more overwhelming than it needed to be because I hadn't decluttered yet. But especially for your child's room is even harder because you're doing it for someone else. You're doing it for someone who is going to move into a new life stage every couple of years, maybe even every year. You know, for someone whose interests vary and change and all that. Like it is extra overwhelming to think of how are they going to grow, how are they going to change? I need to predict the future, find out, you know, figure out what they're going, what they're into now, what they're going to be into, what they're going to ultimately be into. There's no way to know that. So if I'm looking at it as an organizing project where I think I have to get all that stuff figured out, I'm overwhelmed before I even get started, which makes me put off getting started, which is the opposite of what I need to do. When I say all I'm going to do right now is just declutter, that takes so much pressure off because it's just facts and acceptance of the reality of the space. And if I will go through the five step process, then I get the space to be completely functional just by decluttering. And that not having that, that pressure to figure everything out and to make this elaborate plan of organizing is so incredibly powerful. Even if you have seen the magazines and the Pinterest boards and the all the things that have the elaborate super cool system that you think, oh, I love the way that looks, I want my kids space to be like that, I want our house to be like that. Even if you want to get there, you have to declutter first. It is a fact of life. It is just a flat out fact that even if you want the elaborate system, you have to declutter first. So before you think of the elaborate system, before you make any plans, before you dream, before you go pinning, declutter. Because as I've said so many times before, if you try to make an organizing plan and you're basing it on what you're seeing in front of you, and you haven't decluttered yet, you have no idea what you're actually making that plan for. Because if something is trash, if something is an obvious donation, it has no business being there. And you don't want to be making your plan based on a, you know, three foot tall pile that the five things on the top are. Yes, things that you're like, well, of course, but then Everything else under that is actually going to be gone. Besides the fact that once you declutter, you may realize, oh, I don't need anywhere near. You will realize, I don't need anywhere near as elaborate a system as I thought. Okay, so those are the four reasons why the no mess decluttering process works so well with kids and anyone. But also, I just wanted to give a couple of things specific tips when you are dealing with kids spaces and any space but kids spaces, specifically play space is already used space. Here's what I mean. Open space for the kids to actually play with the toys. Meaning floor space in the middle of the room, a table where they, you know, do crafts and do things. On this table, the actual open empty space is already used because it has been identified as a play space, meaning it is not a storage space. Just because a space is open and empty does not mean that it is a storage space. Go ahead and think of the floor being clear as the clearness. The open space for playing is space that's already used when you're thinking of this physical container of the room. Okay, not every open space is space that's available for storage. We give top priority to the function of the space. And for a kid, that means they need this actual open space with nothing in it to be able to get a toy and play in that open space. Clutter threshold varies per person. So your clutter threshold is the amount of stuff that you personally can easily keep under control. Your kid has their own clutter threshold. It is different from yours because everybody's clutter threshold is different from each other's, from other people's clutter thresholds. So your kid has an amount of stuff they can easily keep under control. The way that you know that you're under your clutter threshold is that a five minute pickup is enough time to on a normal day, get things back under control. So mentioning the five minute pickup, mentioning that this is our goal, going ahead and doing a five minute pickup now, even if tomorrow you're going to be decluttering the room, go ahead and take five minutes to pick things up and put them away. Just to have that, that reference point. People say, remember how last night we did a five minute pickup and then this space was still really messy after. That's actually why we're decluttering. We're going to declutter until we get to the point where a five minute pickup gets, is all that we need to get it back under control. Because your kids do enjoy it. I mean, they're going to resist it because of all the reasons that we've already mentioned. But my kids were always thrilled when they had an open space to just play with their stuff, to do their thing. And again, clutter threshold is not your preference for how something looks. It is not about aesthetics. It is literally what can you handle. And the way to know that you can handle it is that on a normal day, you can get it back under control in five minutes with picking up and putting away. And then the last thing I wanted to mention is the way to maintain a decluttered space is one in, one out. What that means I didn't used to know. What. I didn't used to understand what the one in one out rule was, even though organized people would just flippantly say it as if everybody should know. And I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. The one in one out rule only makes sense once you understand the container concept. So once you embrace. Once I embraced the fact that the physical space I have is finite, and if I will let that space make the hard decisions and only keep my favorite things, whatever will fit into this space, or most important, most needed things, whatever will fit into this space, once I embrace the reality of that space, then the way to maintain it and have it not just get back out of control is that when something new comes in, then I have to remove something else. So if I get a new Barbie, then I say, okay, well, which one am I willing to get rid of in order to have the space for this new Barbie? If you have already decluttered, then today it's Christmas day. I don't know when you're listening to this, but you've got new stuff coming into the house when that happens. If you've already decluttered, then the one in one out rule is the way to go. But if you are already overwhelmed at your kid's room, or your kids are overwhelmed at their room or whatever space that they have their toys in, the one in one out rule is not going to cut it. Which is one of the reasons why the one in one out rule used to not make sense to me. Because I was like, well, what difference would it make when it's completely out of control and there's piles of stuff everywhere to get rid of one thing for one new thing coming in. What I would recommend is doing a basic declutter first, using the five step process. Because trash is trash and it just needs to go. It's not a. We're going to get rid of trash. So I can bring some more trash in, right? It's literally just the process. So work through the decluttering process and have those conversations as you're going. Like our reason for decluttering this room is to make space for your new toys. And that gets the space into the conversation. It gets them ready for the one in, one out once they get down to this point and on steps four and five, you can add those new things in as you go. Okay, where would you look for this first? All right, let's take it there now. Oh, is there space for it? There's not. We got to get rid of something in order to make the space for it. You could bring the new toys in on the. Okay, now this new toy, where would you look for this first? It and remember, where would I look for it first is not a matter of knowing where it already has an assigned space to go. It's how we give something that I don't give know where it goes. A home. I, I ask myself, where would I look for it first? At the beginning of what I assume is a big search for it, where's the first place where I would look? And then I take it there now and embrace the reality of that space. So and then the container concept is how you finish this out and get it to where everything is completely functional in this space. So I hope that's been helpful and I hope that you will go and pre order a copy or 10 copies or whatever. How many, however many kids are in your life or maybe like one per family, right? If you have six kids and 36 grandkids, I guess technically you would only need maybe six copies, one for each family. But go order a slobcamsclean.com Winnie Order Winnie's pile of pillows. You do have to fill out the form. Like we don't have access to, to who orders what where. Like the, the retailers, Barnes and Noble, Walmart, all the places, Amazon places where you might order. They don't tell us who bought what. So the only way that we know that you pre ordered is when you come over to a slob comes clean.com winnie w I n N I E When you come over there and fill out the form with the order, the information from where you pre ordered, that's how we know and that's how we can get you the pre order bonuses. So you will actually get the, the printable of the kids version of the five step process immediately when you fill out that form. Okay. If you don't get it, send us an email. It is Christmas, so it might be a couple days before we get back to you, but we will get it figured out for you, all right? This has been so fun, and I hope you had a wonderful holiday. And I will talk to y' all later. Happy decluttering. Bye.