Podcrushed – Ambyr Childers (September 3, 2025)

Hosts: Penn Badgley, Nava Kavelin, Sophie Ansari
Guest: Ambyr Childers

Episode Overview

In this episode of Podcrushed, hosts Penn, Nava, and Sophie welcome actor and podcaster Ambyr Childers—best known for her roles as Candace in "You," as well as her work in "The Master," "Ray Donovan," and "Aquarius." The conversation dives into the awkwardness and self-discovery of middle school, Ambyr's journey as a young actor, the complexity of parenting, her relationship with spirituality, and her unconventional path through Hollywood. The tone is warm, humorous, and honest, with candid reflections on navigating identity, ambition, heartbreak, and growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Middle School Memories & Early Ambition

• Ambyr’s Childhood Persona

  • Felt awkward and didn’t fit solely into one group; floated among different types of classmates: "I kind of hung out with a bunch of different groups...I was just kind of like there." (06:51)
  • Started acting in middle school, which was unusual in her community: "There weren't a lot of actors in my middle school." (06:51)

• School Superlatives

  • Voted “most likely to be famous” and “most gullible” in 7th grade—a combination both she and Penn find amusing.
  • Ambyr jokes about her gullibility, connecting it to trust and learning to develop intuition—a process deepened through sobriety and self-reflection. (07:56–08:17)

• Parental Influence and Upbringing

  • Grew up with “tough love” from parents; resiliency helped her survive Hollywood’s ups and downs.
  • Describes her family: "My parents are like tough ranchers... wrestling cattle. Like, they're doing the whole thing." (13:10)

2. Parenting: Then and Now

• Parenting in a New Age

  • Ambyr touches openly on the challenges of parenting in the digital age, with Nava offering:

    "You're the first generation of parents to ever in history go through parenting kids through what they're going through right now." (11:29)

  • Ambyr discusses “reparenting” herself—addressing her own unmet childhood needs as she raises her children. (12:20–12:58)

• Mother-Daughter Dynamics

  • Shares a touching story about giving her daughter a pep talk after finishing 5th grade, only to be rebuffed in a “Mom, not the speeches” moment—an illustration of the emotional push-pull of parenting tweens. (10:03)

• Instilling Values

  • Emphasizes punctuality and healthy routines for her daughters—being early to school, getting sunlight in the morning, and practicing meditation together at night.

    "My daughter's 25 minutes early for school every day...I want her to get sunlight in her eyes, like, and be outside with her friends before she sits down." (19:48)

3. Faith, Spirituality, and Sobriety

• Shift from Organized Religion to Spirituality

  • Raised Mormon; acknowledges lessons and values from the church, but now embraces a more personal, nature-centered spirituality.

    "I find spirituality in, like, the trees and the wind and the... Mother Nature. And then I just took it slowly, and I... slowly started, like, praying and being like, okay, like, are you there?" (21:45)

• Faith as Comfort and Growth

  • Prayer and journaling now play a key role in her life, especially during recovery:

    "It's been a year of reparenting, rediscovering and understanding like how I want to live my life moving forward." (23:59)

• Memorable Analogy

  • Shares the classic wisdom: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." (21:45)

4. Launching a Career: From Golf Star to Actor

• Athletic Background

  • Raised as a “tomboy,” played basketball and competitive golf, traveling nationally and growing up alongside athletes like Rickie Fowler. (15:28)
  • Life lesson from her basketball coach:

    "If you are on time, you're late, and if you're early, you're on time." (19:10)

• Ambition and Early Independence

  • Found an ad in the newspaper at age 8 for a talent agency; driven to attend auditions, motivated by a deal with her parents: good grades meant she could pursue acting. (17:28)
  • Booked her first major role on "All My Children" at 17, graduating early to commence her acting career in New York. (16:08, 18:28)

• No Plan B

  • Acting was her single focus:

    "Once I fell in love with acting, I was like, tunnel vision. That was what I was going to do. No one was stopping me." (17:28)

5. Hollywood Experiences: On Set, Auditioning, and "You"

• Audition Anecdotes

  • Discusses the intense auditioning process for Paul Thomas Anderson’s "The Master" and the pressure of potentially being replaced—even after booking the part. (41:44–44:39)
  • Fondly recalls the “adrenaline” of in-person auditions, contrasting it with today's remote, self-tape norm:

    "Now... you send tapes in. And that started during the pandemic. Everyone was like, okay, this is only temporary. And now... that's the process." (46:14)

• Landing “Candace” in "You"

  • Almost forgot about the audition for "You"; felt an immediate connection to the role, which drew on pain and lessons from her twenties. (49:11)
  • Didn’t know much about the character’s fate at first, noting this made it more liberating as an actor. (50:10)
  • Filming her death scene (her second on the show) was physically and emotionally intense, especially working in a claustrophobic storage unit. (52:22)

• On-Set Camaraderie

  • Praises the cast, especially James Scully, for their warmth and humor, highlighting the importance of keeping things light even on dark shows:

    "When you have a good cast... you enjoy waking up, and you get to go to work with your friends and play." (59:02)

6. Navigating Dark Roles and Mental Health

• Emotional Boundaries
  • Ambyr discusses the need to separate herself from her characters, especially when playing dark or damaged people:

    "You have to protect yourself... doing darker scenes... I have to put that white light around me and protect myself so I don't go home and... bring that energy into my house." (60:12)

  • Penn and Ambyr agree on the value of finding humor and playfulness on set as a way to process and survive intense material. (63:18–65:56)

7. Motherhood: Joys and Reflections

• Young Motherhood

  • Became a mom at 21, finding both challenge and unexpected joys—the closeness with her daughter and the sense of growing up together.

    "When I was a young mom, I was also learning about myself, so I probably wasn't so rigid... we would have fun... She was like my little best friend." (66:28)

• Sisterhood and Family

  • Values the bond between siblings:

    "There's power in sisterhood. And I grew up with two sisters, and I wanted that." (68:48)

8. Advice to Her Younger Self

• Empathy and Self-Compassion
  • If she could speak to her 12-year-old self, Ambyr would say:

    "I would definitely tell her I love her... Never ever give up. Ever give up. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise because you are just perfect the way you are. Because I felt so lost inside." (69:26)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Navigating Adolescence:
  "I felt so awkward in my own skin and like, I just didn't know." – Ambyr (08:17)

• On Reparenting:
  "The 36 year old Amber gets to reparent the 12 year old Amber and give her what she needed." – Ambyr (12:20)

• On Career Resolve:
  "There was no plan B in life for me. Once I fell in love with acting, I was like, tunnel vision." – Ambyr (17:28)

• On Spiritual Growth:
  "I became really spiritual, in the sense of understanding the universe...and then I just took it slowly, and I slowly started praying and being like, okay, are you there?" – Ambyr (21:45)

• On Working with Paul Thomas Anderson:
  "I didn't realize at the time how important that movie was going to be for my career." – Ambyr (44:48)

• On Keeping Set Light:
  "If you're doing something really dark and twisted, you kind of have to keep everything light. Otherwise, it's just an insufferable experience." – Penn (64:39)

• Advice to Her 12-Year-Old Self:
  "Never ever give up. Ever give up. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise because you are just perfect the way you are." – Ambyr (69:26)

Memorable/Lighthearted Moments

• The panel jokes about Ambyr being voted “most likely to be famous and most gullible”—“That could be a bad mix.” – Penn (00:11)
• Debating the weirdness of the Dogman book series and shielding kids from cultural oddities (00:40–02:19)
• Ambyr’s story about naming a neighborhood squirrel “Alvin” and watching birds and squirrels as part of morning mindfulness (24:49)
• Nava’s delight on realizing she was James Scully’s (from “You”) middle school teacher: “He was the sweetest kid.” (58:42)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Middle School & Early Arts: 06:51–08:17
• On Parenting and Reparenting: 10:03–12:58
• Spirituality and Faith: 21:45–26:19
• First Love & Heartbreak (Lance): 26:38–28:48
• Athletics to Acting—Life Lessons: 15:28–19:48
• Booking ‘All My Children’/Early Career: 16:08–18:28, 37:09–39:08
• Audition Stories (The Master, You): 41:44–49:56
• Filming Candace’s Death/Set Life: 52:05–53:13, 59:02
• Mental Health, Separating from Roles: 60:12–65:56
• Joyful Young Motherhood: 66:28–69:15
• Advice to Young Ambyr: 69:26–70:29

Tone & Style

Candid, reflective, and warm—with humorous asides, self-deprecating wit, and genuine affection among all speakers. The episode balances deep emotional honesty, practical life lessons, and relatable anecdotes, grounded throughout in the peculiar, often poignant experience of adolescence and growing up.