Podcrushed: Lola Kirke
Hosts: Penn Badgley, Nava Kavelin, Sophie Ansari
Guest: Lola Kirke
Release Date: December 3, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode welcomes actress, musician, and newly-minted author Lola Kirke, who joins the Podcrushed crew (including her brother-in-law, Penn Badgley) for a candid conversation about growing up in an artsy, complicated, and famous family; longing for belonging; wrestling with beauty standards; carving out her own creative path; and the joys, cringe, and heartbreak of adolescence. True to Podcrushedâs spirit, the chat is disarmingly funny, deeply reflective, sometimes vulnerable, and always relatable.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. The Wolf Pack Family & Feeling Like an Outsider
(08:20â15:00)
- Lola describes her family in her memoir as âexceptionally good looking wolves, some of whom you might not want to meet alone at night.â
- Her childhood home was âchaotic, glamorous, territorial.â
- Despite appearances, Lola always felt a bit like an outsider in the âpackâââI feel like Iâm really boring, have no personality, and totally approachable. But maybe other people donât see me that way.â (09:40)
- As a youngest child with a larger age gap from her siblings (especially Domino, 8 years older), she often felt invisibleâa feeling that has shaped her both positively and negatively.
Notable Quote:
âI always knew that my feeling of being unseen growing up led me to not one, not two, but three careers in which I'm like, see me please. See me please. Iâm so unsat. Please.â â Lola (20:09)
2. Birth Order, Belonging, and the Search for Identity
(15:00â21:30)
- The hosts and Lola bond over all being youngest childrenâthe âeliteâ position as per Sophie.
- Lola reflects on watching her sisters (Domino and Jemima) from the sidelines, looking up to and sometimes being resented by them.
- Her attempts to assimilate into American culture after moving from London to New York (at age 5), to avoid being bullied at school, only meant she got âbullied at homeâ for adopting an American accent.
Notable Quote:
âMy desire to be seen was fueled by feeling very unseen as a child. ButâŠwhen you want to make art, you donât just want to be seen, but you want other people to feel seen too.â â Lola (20:25)
3. Family Background and Expectations
(25:40â28:49, 58:54â62:37)
- Lolaâs father, Simon Kirke, was the drummer and founding member of iconic rock bands Free and Bad Company.
- Her mother, Lorraine Kirke, owned a famous vintage store, Geminola, in NYCâs West Village.
- Expectations to pursue, and excel in, the arts felt less like encouragement and more like a mandate: âIt wasnât just, âbe creativeââit was, âbe successful in your field.ââ (27:33)
- They reminisce about their social circleâs downtown, bohemian New York sceneâone âthat can never exist againâ in todayâs corporatized, sanitized era.
4. Beauty, Body Image, and the Value System of the Arts
(38:18â47:40)
- Lola shares the infamous story of a â10-pound replica of fatâ being displayed on their dining room tableâsymbolizing the familyâs fraught relationship to weight and appearance (38:34).
- âI definitely went from a beauty conscious household into beauty conscious industries.â
- The group discusses how Hollywood/arts culture presents itself as rebellious but ends up reinforcing the same old values, just âwith a leather jacket.â
- Lola reflects on internalizing aggression and self-improvement, quoting Pema Chödrön: âThe desire for self improvement is a form of aggression towards ourselvesâ (40:18), and finding new peace with her body and self-image.
- She brings up the feeling of relief seeing aging actresses âwith lines on their facesââcontrasted with the alienation of âweirdâ cosmetic procedures (47:23).
Notable Quotes:
âI am on this earth to do more than just be pretty.â â Lola (41:47)
âWe live in a society that has made youth into a commodity and values that above all else... Being young breaks my heart.â â Lola (48:53)
5. Adolescent Heartbreak & Cringe
(65:01â72:15)
- Lola talks about her childhood loves (musicians like Julian Casablancas and Heath Ledger).
- Cherished memento: a Strokes autograph signed by Domino, her sister, on her behalf (66:18).
- Cringiest adolescence memory: Trying to emulate the film âDarling,â she buys a Siamese fighting fish as an accessory. At school, a cool kid seizes and eats her fish, retaliating with a Coke slushie poured over her after she dumps her fishâs water on his head.
- The âbullyâ later asks her to prom andâyears laterâposts a photo of her bare feet from the Golden Globes stage (âhometown girl makes goodâ) (71:04).
6. Craft, Career, and Staying Genuine
(34:32â36:37, 72:25â87:53)
- After a career lull during Covid, Lola discovered a love for writing and storytellingâresulting in her memoir, Wild West Village (34:38).
- Her experience in film vs. TV; on Mozart in the Jungle (âchanged my lifeâ) and working with Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig on Mistress America.
- On being a professional actor: âBeing an artist is humiliating, you know, when itâs not humbling⊠Learning how arbitrary that kind of value is when itâs placed on you when youâre doing well.â (36:37)
- On the film Sinners: Working with Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan, capturing musical performances, and the technical process.
- She expresses gratitude for her sensibilities and friendshipsâreiterating the importance of found family and strong women in her chosen support system.
Notable Moments:
â Lolaâs story about being babysat by Liv Tyler, who launched âBig Bellies of the World Unite,â making Lola feel body-positive as a child (51:51).
â Her observation on the industryâs obsession with beautyââItâs a bandage on a bullet wound.â (45:13)
7. Songwriting, Country Music, and Fitting In
(92:34â97:34)
- Though British-American, Lolaâs love of country music comes from its humor, storytelling, and multivalent women: âItâs a lot of grit and glamour for women. They get to be tough and tender and mothers and glamorous.â (93:29)
- Current songwriting explores growing up, societal pressures, moving past âjust more songs about fuckingâ (95:59).
- âSex is like water. Itâs the best thing ever when you want it, but when you donât, itâs just boring.â (96:37)
- Sheâs now writing about family less, branching into other themes, and seeking her "own club" to belong to.
Memorable Quotes
âI always knew that my feeling of being unseen growing up led me to not one, not two, but three careers in which I'm like, see me please. See me please. Iâm so unsat. Please.â â Lola (20:09)
âI am on this earth to do more than just be pretty.â â Lola (41:47)
âSex is like water. Itâs the best thing ever when you want it, but when you donât, itâs just boring.â â Lola (96:37)
âWe live in a society that has made youth into a commodity and values that above all else⊠Being young breaks my heart.â â Lola (48:53)
âAs an actor, you canât⊠itâs very hard to articulate⊠just how much you become identified with something that in some ways you were, like, not responsible for at all.â â Penn (78:12)
âAs much as I worry about the way that I look, I never worry enough to really do that much about it... It's a bandage on a bullet wound.â â Lola (45:13)
Timestamps for Major Segments
- 08:20â10:39: Lola describes the âwolf packâ Kirk household, family dynamics, and childhood
- 13:49â15:21: Relationships with Domino and Jemima; bullying at home and school
- 20:09â21:30: The need to be seen, and its impact on creative longing
- 25:48â28:29: Parental background: rockstar father, boho mother, and artsy expectations
- 38:34â41:47: The â10-pound replica of fat,â beauty pressures, and sense of self
- 46:01â47:23: Playing a principal in a film, aging, moving beyond the ingĂ©nue phase
- 51:51: Big Bellies of the World Uniteâbody image and Liv Tylerâs positive impact
- 62:37â64:54: On avoiding eating disorders, and the impact of sistersâ struggles
- 65:01â66:54: First infatuations (Julian Casablancas, Heath Ledger); cherished mementos
- 70:08â71:04: The âDarlingâ fish and the ultimate high school cringe
- 72:38â77:25: Career highs and lows: Mozart in the Jungle, Mistress America, streaming boom
- 87:53â93:29: Sinners: casting story, music performance, filming with Coogler/Jordan
- 94:32â97:34: Songwriting, family, longing for belonging, moving away from country music
- 98:13â98:37: Advice to younger self: âGo and create your life.â
Final Reflections and Advice
- Lola sees her arc as moving from âunseen childâ to someone fiercely committed to making and sharing art that helps others feel seen.
- She advocates for honesty, self-acceptance, and pushing back against beauty and societal conformityâusing humor and storytelling as her tools.
- To her 12-year-old self, sheâd say simply: âGo and create your life.â (98:22)
For More
- Lola Kirkeâs memoir: Wild West Village: Not a Memoir Unless I Win an Oscar, Die Tragically, or Score a Country Number One
- Her latest album and music can be found on all major platforms.
- Follow her on Instagram: @lolakirk
Podcrushed remains a fun, vulnerable, and sharply insightful roundtable on the universal wounds and wildness of growing upâthis time, with Lola Kirkeâs wit, wisdom, and lived experience front and center.
