Podcrushed: Sam Smith

Date: November 5, 2025
Hosts: Penn Badgley, Nava Kavelin, Sophie Ansari
Guest: Sam Smith

Overview

In this heartfelt and revealing episode of Podcrushed, the hosts (Penn, Nava, Sophie) sit down with singer-songwriter Sam Smith. The conversation dives into Sam's formative years—the struggles and joys of middle school as an openly queer, nonbinary kid, the power of music as refuge, early encounters with love, body image struggles, finding confidence, and artistry. Sam discusses the evolution of their career, their relationship to performance, the symbolism of lighthouses and water, and their present-day happiness both in love and in their creative life. The tone is warm, frank, and at times, deeply moving.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Growing Up: The "Mr. Blobby House" and Middle School Self

[11:05 - 13:50]

• Sam lived in a pastel pink house as a child, affectionately called the "Mr. Blobby house," referencing a surreal British children's character.
• Childhood was characterized by softness, surrounded by women (sisters, mother) and a nurturing yet effeminate father.
• At 12, Sam was openly expressive, chubby, tall, singing "left, right and center," and always the girls’ "best gay friend."
• Outed by classmates before even self-identifying:
  "There was no closets. I was just so obviously gay and everyone knew before I did." – Sam Smith [12:39]
• Primary school was nurturing, but secondary (Catholic) school brought bullying, especially as Sam never hid who they were.

2. Music as Sanctuary

[15:07 - 18:10]

• Music, especially powerful female artists like Mariah Carey, Amy Winehouse, Corinne Bailey Rae, and Lily Allen, was a safe haven in a turbulent world.
• Sam did not listen to male singers until age 19; female voices were empowering and deeply resonant:
  "There was just. I just didn't listen to men at all. Probably to the age of like, 19. I just didn't listen to male singers. I had an absolute block when it came to male voices and kind of male anything." – Sam Smith [15:32]
• Discussion of pop divas, queer lineage in music, and being part of a tradition alongside George Michael, Anoni, Boy George.

3. Family Dynamics and the Double Life of a Child Prodigy

[20:14 - 22:23]

• Sam’s mother, the breadwinner, and father, a sensitive house husband, supported them fully—both as a queer child and a young singer.
• The talent for singing was both a superpower and a burden: "When I sing, people stop and listen ... but it was a burden because I am petrified to sing in front of people." – Sam Smith [21:59]
• Stage fright plagued Sam since childhood, resurfacing even after massive commercial success.

4. The Dance Floor and Mirror Montages

[23:22 - 25:33]

• Dance was always a private joy—dressing in mum’s clothes and dancing to pop divas.
• Sam and friends would watch themselves cry in the mirror, which they now see as a search for being witnessed.
  "I think that I was so strong as a child ... so the kind of inner. The sadness that I had to deal with later on in my life, that was happening inside. I think that it came out by myself." – Sam Smith [25:00]

5. Body Image, Weight, and Surgery

[26:12 - 28:00]

• Despite confidence in queerness, weight was the deepest source of shame. Sam had chest liposuction at 13 due to bullying and inability to participate in normal activities. "I think that actually beautifully captures this interesting... contradiction." – Penn Badgley [28:02]
• Sam’s self-deprecating humor helped them cope and even “make lemonade” of the situation.

6. Early Love and Heartbreak

[35:15 - 40:03]

• First romances were wholly internal, falling in love with straight boys and keeping it secret.
• Showed early courage by writing a love letter at 14 to a best friend’s brother – and received a loving, affirming letter back.
  "He wrote me a full letter back and told me how much he loved me." – Sam Smith [39:46]
• Sam reflects on how their generation was among the first to live and love openly, but with the burden of no queer parents to model after.

7. Cringe/Embarrassing Story: The Origin Story

[43:01 - 45:27]

• Iconic moment: At age 11 or 12, Sam peed their khakis out of fear before a school performance but went on stage anyway, claiming they spilled water.
  "I pissed myself in khaki... But I walked on stage and I said to the audience that I just spilled water all over myself, so excuse this. And then I stood there and sang 'Heroes' by Mariah Carey." – Sam Smith [06:06/43:01]
• Now reframes it as the “making of me.”

8. Early Career Decisions & Musical Influences

[45:52 - 53:01]

• From age 10, Sam’s singing attracted adult attention. By 15, signed to a recording deal—though early experiences with the music business were at times exploitative.
• Musical theater was the assumed path, but Sam chose pop, inspired by soul, jazz, and classic divas (Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston, Stevie Wonder).
• Dad was instrumental, literally, drilling Sam nightly in singing standards.
  "My dad would kind of ignore me until I got something right. And then he'd sit and listen." – Sam Smith [51:20]

9. Thematic Motifs: Lighthouses, Water, Longing, and Safety

[58:46 - 75:26]

• Lighthouses and water are powerful motifs in Sam’s writing—symbols of loneliness, longing, but also safety and guidance. "There's something about a lighthouse that has that. But it's also such a warm place of safety, too." – Sam Smith [59:36]
• Water is a metaphor for identity, creativity, and mental health: "I started to describe myself instead of saying I have OCD ... I am very much like water ... the act of flow in life and letting go and allowing yourself to change and grow." – Sam Smith [72:35]
• Wild swimming worldwide is both literal and symbolic of Sam’s search for freedom.

10. Artistic Growth, Pop Music, and Identity

[75:28 - 86:38]

• Sam sees their albums as snapshots of a queer experience, unashamed of “pop” sensibility, even when misunderstood by (straight) critics. "What people may find cheesy about my music, what people may find simplistic about my music, actually, if you look at it in a different lens, could actually be taken as quite radical. ... to understand the type of music I make, you have to understand the context." – Sam Smith [78:58]
• New album is the first Sam feels is a "mastered" body of work: organic recording, minimal electronics, collaborative process.
• Residency "To Be Free" in Brooklyn marks a return to intimate spaces and feeling seen by a diverse audience; reignited Sam’s love for performing.

11. Love & Present Life

[66:16 - 69:38]

• Sam is in a happy, grounded relationship—after years single to work on themselves. Their partner is a fashion designer in New York, from the same English countryside.
  "So that whole time when I was like a lonely gay kid, the lid to my pot was down the street." – Sam Smith [67:10]
• Home is now both geographical and emotional:
  "It is wild to have someone who is that home for me now. It's incredible." – Sam Smith [66:21]

12. Reflection & Advice to Their Younger Self

[87:42 - 89:44]

• If Sam could speak to 12-year-old self: "I would just give them the biggest hug in the world ... I just needed a big old hug as a kid because it was exhausting. I just had my fists up the whole time." – Sam Smith [87:51]
• Emphasizes letting go of perfectionism, accepting that not everyone will change, and advocating self-compassion.

Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "There was no closets. I was just so obviously gay and everyone knew before I did." – Sam Smith [12:39]
• "When I sing, people stop and listen ... but it was a burden because I am petrified to sing in front of people." – Sam Smith [21:59]
• "I just fell in love with the guys ... For me, it was all make believe in my head." – Sam Smith [38:07]
• "I pissed myself in khaki... But I walked on stage and I said to the audience that I just spilled water all over myself." – Sam Smith [06:06 & 43:01]
• "My music is just as non binary as me. It's not. I'm not one thing. I'm a flow person. I flow and I can't stand still." – Sam Smith [49:36]
• "So that whole time when I was like a lonely gay kid, the lid to my pot was down the street." – Sam Smith [67:10]
• "Water has become this symbol ... of flow in life and letting go and allowing yourself to change and grow." – Sam Smith [72:35]
• "What people may find cheesy about my music ... actually, in a different lens, could be taken as quite radical. ... to understand the type of music I make, you have to understand the context." – Sam Smith [78:58]
• "I just needed a big old hug as a kid because it was exhausting. I just had my fists up the whole time." – Sam Smith [87:51]

Notable Timestamps

• Sam's Mr. Blobby house: [11:05]
• First experiences of being labeled "gay" at school: [12:39]
• On divas & lineage: [15:32-18:10]
• Musical family & first time singing publicly: [20:14-22:23]
• Embarrassing (pivotal) performance story: [43:01]
• Writing their first love letter: [39:29]
• Metaphor of water, mental health, and identity: [72:35]
• Artistic mission & critical context: [78:58]
• Description of new album and Brooklyn residency: [83:47–86:38]
• Advice to 12-year-old self: [87:51]

Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode is moving, funny, and full of compassion. Sam Smith is open, deeply self-aware, candid about pain and vulnerability, but also resolutely hopeful and loving—about themself, their journey, and the queer lineage they're part of. Listeners come away with a fuller picture of Sam’s artistry—one inseparable from their identity, struggle, longing, resilience, and most of all, their search for freedom and flow. The message is one of radical self-acceptance in the face of a world that doesn’t always understand.

For more:

• Sam Smith’s Brooklyn “To Be Free” residency at Warsaw runs October-December
• Follow Sam Smith online at samsmith
• Listen to Sam’s podcast “The Pink House” for more stories

“I just needed a big old hug as a kid because it was exhausting. I just had my fists up the whole time.” – Sam Smith [87:51]