286: Planning Your Dream Wedding ft. Love, Laura 👰‍♀️ 💒

Summary

Podcast Summary: Pop Apologists Episode 286 – "Planning Your Dream Wedding ft. Love, Laura 👰‍♀️ 💒"

Release Date: July 24, 2025

In this special episode of Pop Apologists, hosts Kaitlyn and Ben celebrate their three-week anniversary by delving into the intricate world of wedding planning with their esteemed guest, Laura from Love Laura Wedding Design Studio. Laura brings her extensive experience as a New York City-based wedding planner to the conversation, offering invaluable insights and practical advice for couples embarking on their wedding journey.

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1. Introducing Laura and Love Laura Wedding Design Studio

Kaitlyn opens the episode by highlighting Laura’s deep-rooted passion for weddings, which was nurtured from a young age by her grandmother’s ownership of a wedding venue. This early exposure led Laura to manage the venue during her high school years, fostering a lifelong commitment to event planning.

Laura: "Weddings and events in 15 different countries." ([02:15])

Founded in 2018, Love Laura provides full-service wedding planning, design, and floral arrangements primarily in New York City, the Hamptons, upstate, the East Coast, and internationally.

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2. The Importance of a Wedding Planner

Ben emphasizes how a wedding planner can significantly reduce stress and streamline the planning process.

Ben: "A good planner will help to alleviate a lot of stress... They help to take the guesswork out of a lot of decisions." ([05:11])

Laura concurs, sharing her role in managing logistics and acting as a buffer between couples and vendors.

Laura: "We never could tell if you were ever stressed... We have our team to handle it." ([07:26])

Kaitlyn adds personal anecdotes about how Laura’s involvement transformed their wedding experience, allowing them to enjoy the process without getting bogged down by details.

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3. Common Mistakes Couples Make in Wedding Planning

Ben identifies several pitfalls that couples often encounter:

• Overemphasis on Guest Experience: While ensuring guests are comfortable is important, couples sometimes neglect their own enjoyment.

  Ben: "Don't forget that it's your day. So if you want to have a sweetheart moment... people will understand." ([13:35])

• Micromanaging the Wedding: Trusting the planner and vendors is crucial to avoid unnecessary stress.

  Ben: "Put trust in your team... Relinquish some control and just know that we do this all the time." ([15:23])

Kaitlyn echoes these sentiments, noting how relinquishing control allowed them to fully immerse themselves in the joy of their wedding day.

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4. Budgeting for Your Dream Wedding

Laura and Ben discuss the complexities of budgeting, highlighting how initial visions often require adjustments to align with available funds.

Laura: "Our vision for the wedding expanded, and therefore the budget did, too." ([20:17])

Ben advises starting with open conversations about budget expectations among all contributors and being flexible with the vision or budget as needed.

Ben: "Have a conversation with everybody that's gonna be paying... You either have to change your vision or you have to change your budget." ([21:12])

Key Tips:

• Prioritize Photography: Ensuring high-quality photos captures the essence of the day.

  Ben: "Photography is one of the only ways that you're gonna have to look back on your wedding." ([24:50])

• Be Prepared for Minimums and Hidden Costs: Understanding venue requirements and additional expenses can prevent budget overruns.

  Ben: "Minimums will get you... Make sure you're aware of what you're committing to." ([24:07])

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5. Navigating Wedding Trends vs. Timeless Elements

Ben shares current trends while encouraging couples to blend them with timeless aspects to create a personalized and enduring celebration.

• Trending Now:

  • Pops of Silver: Shifting from traditional gold to a more modern silver palette.

    Ben: "Pops of silver... I’m all about the silver now." ([28:31])

  • Large Format Cakes and Incorporating Food into Tablescapes: Enhancing visual appeal with elaborate desserts and edible decorations.

• Timeless Elements:

  • Classic Bouquets and Versatile Decor: Combining trendy elements with classic designs ensures longevity.

    Ben: "Mix a really on-trend dress with a classic bouquet... Juxtaposition makes the design interesting." ([29:07])

Trends to Approach with Caution:

• Serpentine Tables: While visually stunning, they can complicate guest interactions.

  Ben: "They look so cool, but logistically, not great." ([30:40])

• Champagne Towers: High maintenance and prone to accidents.

  Ben: "Champagne towers are so chic and cool, but so messy..." ([30:50])

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6. Vendor Contracts and Red Flags

Ben outlines critical elements to look for in vendor contracts to protect against unforeseen circumstances.

• Force Majeure Clauses: Ensuring flexibility in case of natural disasters or pandemics.

  Ben: "Make sure you are getting the option to reschedule the date or get some money back." ([33:54])

• Non-Performance Clauses: Guarantees for replacements if a vendor cannot fulfill their role.

  Ben: "Ensure there’s a provision for a replacement if your vendor can’t perform." ([33:54])

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7. Surprises Couples Often Forget to Budget For

Ben highlights several often-overlooked expenses:

• Lighting and Staging: Essential for ambiance but can significantly add to costs.

  Ben: "Lighting and staging... those can be big items." ([37:45])

• Toilets and Generators for Remote Locations: Necessary for outdoor weddings but typically omitted from initial budgets.

• Vendor Meals and Tips: Forgetting to account for catering staff’s meals and gratuities can lead to last-minute financial strains.

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8. Handling High Emotions and Family Dynamics

Weddings are emotional times that can amplify existing family dynamics. Ben advises couples to maintain open communication and trust their planners to mediate conflicts.

Ben: "Allow the space to have those opinions set, and then it can go away... feels like being a therapist." ([40:22])

Laura adds that understanding and managing family relationships beforehand can smooth the planning process.

Laura: "Any conversation about wedding planning... helps in managing dynamics." ([43:14])

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9. Venue Recommendations and Trends

Ben shares his favorite venues in New York and beyond, emphasizing the importance of quality and flexibility.

Ben: "Bowery Hotel... 99 Scott in Bushwick... Parish and Pridewood Hotel in the Hamptons." ([17:23])

Laura expresses interest in custom tent builds for unique, adaptable wedding settings.

Ben: "Custom tent builds... making it into anything we want." ([44:49])

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10. All-Inclusive Venues vs. Customizable Options

Ben discusses the pros and cons of all-inclusive venues, which offer convenience but may limit design flexibility.

Ben: "Great if you're budget conscious, but may require additional spending for desired finishes." ([46:12])

Kaitlyn reflects on her experience with an all-inclusive venue, balancing budget with aesthetic preferences.

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11. Bridal Parties: A Declining Trend

Ben observes a shift away from traditional bridal parties, with many couples opting for smaller or no wedding parties.

Ben: "About 30 to 40% of clients don't do a wedding party." ([46:29])

Laura notes that while this can simplify planning, it may also complicate pre-wedding logistics like preparations and ceremonies.

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12. Conclusion and Contact Information

Kaitlyn and Ben express their gratitude to Laura for her expertise and share their positive experiences working with her.

Kaitlyn: "She’s the best. Cannot recommend enough. Laura is the best. We love her." ([49:48])

Laura shares her contact details for listeners interested in planning their dream weddings.

Ben: "I'm on Instagram @lovelauravents and the website is lovelaura.co." ([49:39])

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Final Thoughts

Episode 286 of Pop Apologists offers a comprehensive guide to wedding planning, emphasizing the invaluable role of a professional planner in navigating the complexities of budgeting, vendor management, and managing emotional dynamics. Laura’s seasoned advice provides listeners with practical strategies to create memorable and stress-free weddings tailored to their unique visions.

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For more detailed insights and personalized wedding planning services, visit Love Laura Wedding Design Studio or follow @lovelauravents on Instagram.

Transcript

[Kaitlyn]

Hey, Pop Apologist listeners. Before we get to the episode, we have a quick announcement. We have never, ever offered a free trial for our Pop Apologists Global Elites Premium episodes. And we're very excited to announce that you can sign up for a free two week trial until July 16th. A subscription gets you our Monday and Friday subscriber episodes. And you can sign up on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This is an experiment and we will likely never do this again. So if you want to sign up for Pop Apologist Global Elites Premium episodes.

[Ben]

With a free trial, now is your chance.

[Kaitlyn]

Now, on with the episode. Well, well, well. Today we have a very special episode. I don't know if you know this, but it's our first three week anniversary, so huge day. Um, and of course, to relish and celebrate this moment, we have our dear wedding planner, Laura from Love Laura Wedding Design Studio. She's here on the podcast, ready to chat all things weddings. Welcome to the show.

[Ben]

Thank you so much for having me. And it's so nice to see you guys again.

[Kaitlyn]

I know, I know. I feel like it's. It's so wonderful. Like every time I, like, see you, it just like, I don't know, great emotions. Cause I just associate you with like, the best day of our life.

[Ben]

That's so sweet.

[Laura]

So I'm here too.

[Kaitlyn]

And Ben is here.

[Laura]

Yes, but just for those listening.

[Kaitlyn]

Sorry, everybody. I was just staring at Laura's beautiful face.

[Laura]

I get it.

[Kaitlyn]

Ben is here. It's, you know, Ben is here to join us in lieu of Lauren. Lauren is actually back home in Puerto Rico. And, you know, Ben was also at the wedding, so I figure he probably has some things to say. He was also part of the wedding planning process.

[Ben]

I will say Ben was involved a lot more so than most grooms. You guys shared it pretty equally, which I think is really nice.

[Kaitlyn]

I would have, yeah. Ben had a lot more to say than I was anticipating, frankly. Um, okay, but before, before we get into all the questions people have for you. I mean, you're a New York City wedding planner, so of course, lots of questions. Everyone you know is obsessed. Okay, I want to give our listeners a little bit of background on you. So Laura's lifelong commitment to weddings and event planning was faded. Growing up, Laura's grandmother owned a wedding venue. She was always drawn to the space. So much so that she began managing it while still in high school. It was a passion that never left her and led her to plan and execute. I didn't know this. Weddings and events in 15 different countries. What so Then you started Love Laura, which is the full service wedding planning, design and floral studio in 2018. And you know, you, I would say, primarily do weddings in New York City. The Hampton. The Hamptons, upstate, East coast and overseas. Wow. I did not know that about all the different countries. This is probably a stupid question, but do you like, do you get stressed at all? Before I remember, like, my brother in law used to do events, used to do like, you know, 5K races, and he said that like the night before the race, he would have like, never sleep well.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Always kind of have a little bit of just like nervous stomach.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Do you still have that?

[Ben]

Of course I do.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

You know, I'm a part of a big day in people's lives. Like, it's a very high pressure job. I do love it, but I think I've really learned over the years to manage my stress well and deal with it and really not show it. So people just don't know. But I try to take really good care of myself so that it doesn't affect me.

[Kaitlyn]

Wow. Yeah. I mean, I can't.

[Laura]

We couldn't tell.

[Kaitlyn]

We literally couldn't. Yeah. If you were ever stressed, we never. We never could tell. Um, okay, so our listeners have lots of questions for you. Obviously, you know, Laura was with us from the beginning of, you know, our wedding planning process. And I think, like, she's such a wealth of knowledge and knows so much about, you know, the ins and outs of events, obviously, and weddings and especially like New York weddings, which I think are just a whole different beast. And I think one, one thing that's kind of amazing is that Laura was actually recommended to us through the pod, through Annie, who's a listener of the podcast. And so, like, I don't know, pop apologist brought us to you.

[Ben]

I know, so funny.

[Kaitlyn]

And you're kind of like, I would say, I mean, Ben can correct me if he disagrees, but Laura's kind of the reason we had our wedding in New York. Because you, like, we. You were our first kind of call with someone who was New York City based. It was kind of at the, at the time we talked to you, we were thinking of doing it, you know, in Portugal or something. That's right.

[Ben]

I remember that.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. And we were just like, let's just like, let's just meet with a New York City planner and just see what the process would be like.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

And then you recommended the Boathouse. You were like, have you, have you heard of the Prospect Park Boathouse? And I saw that venue and I Was like, it's done. Like, if we can get. If we can have our wedding there, we'll have it in New York.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

So anyway, long winded way of just saying, like, thank you for leading us to our perfect day.

[Ben]

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that.

[Kaitlyn]

So let's start with this kind of big question that I think some people, you know, some people might ask themselves as they evaluate the money they can spend on a wedding. Why do I need a wedding planner?

[Ben]

So I would say the first reason is a good planner will help to alleviate a lot of stress. They help to take the guesswork out of a lot of decisions that you have to make. So I always say, like, my job as a planner is to help you make informed decisions. I can't make the decision for you, but I can help you make sure, like, you're informed in making it. They're also a buffer for you between you and the vendors. So rather than having, like a million touch points and people that you need to talk to, there's just one person. And then the last thing I would say is a planner will really leverage their relationships to help you. So, for example, in the last few months for my clients, I've been able to get venue fees down. I've been able to get additional hours of photo coverage. Like, they will leverage those relationships to help you and have your experience be better in the planning process.

[Kaitlyn]

Oh, absolutely. I mean, and that was our. That was our experience with you. So many, like, perks or just, like, you know, I think you just had. You just had all of the knowledge. And I mean, I. I think that we went into the wedding planning process not totally, like, thinking we were for sure gonna have a wedding planner. And obviously we met you and it was, like, a great fit. And I think you just. You just immediately took so much stress off of our shoulders because you, like. I don't know, most people have never planned a wedding before, have never thrown an event this big, and you don't even know what you don't know about it. And all of the things you need to be, like, concerned about, all of the little details. And then I think you add, like, planning it in a place like New York City where there is just. It's literally hard to do anything in the city. It's hard to go, you know, go get a coffee. Yeah.

[Ben]

Let alone in a park where you need, like, special permits to even get vendors in there. I know.

[Kaitlyn]

Exactly. And so I. I think. And Ben and I kind of remarked about this, like, on our honeymoon, like, I feel like the best money we spent was actually having a planner because it left us all, like, all the room to be like, excited. Like we, we had like, we had stuff to do for the process, of course, and there were. It was stressful at times, but like, yeah, for the most part, I just got to show up to meetings and be with you and your team and, and be excited and like look at things and react to things and come with ideas, but like, never have to like do a lot of the nitty gritty myself.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

And that made the process like a million times more enjoyable.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Laura]

Even just like there was a moment we had like last minute, I was like, can we do a disco ball? Like say it aloud.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Laura]

Like we saw, I saw it on the Instagram of the venue and I just like threw that out there. And then a few days later you were like, yeah, it's gonna work. We're gonna find a way. And like, we have no idea what kind of work went into figuring that out or like, yeah, totally working with the lighting guy to, you know, figure out the specifics of it. But it worked out and it was perfect. Like literally, it added so much to the event.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Laura]

It was just those kind of things that we didn't have to deal with.

[Kaitlyn]

Right.

[Laura]

Super special.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And I would also say, like, sometimes couples will come to me and they'll be like, okay, we thought we could do this without a planner, but like we've actually figured out and like, we can't. Yeah, you know, that's like, that's a very common thing.

[Kaitlyn]

Even just, even just trying to find a venue like that alone was such a hurdle. And then trying to figure out the date and like negotiating with the venue, maybe walk people through kind of like. And I didn't realize this before we started our process, but like, you know, there's, there's a full service planning, there's like three month plan, three month coordinator, and then there's like day of person. So I guess maybe walk people through that.

[Ben]

Like what the different things are. Yeah. So most planners will office, Most planners will offer full service planning and that's helping couples with the budgeting with all of their to do's, like mapping out, you know, the project management of it all and then hiring the vendor team, sourcing the venue. If they're going to handle design, they also will come up with like the designs of the wedding mood boards and then figure out the vendors you need to hire to like execute on all of the concepts. Right. So that's like the Planning industry.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

When it. And figuring out the timelines and like logistics and all that. When it comes to coordination. So we sometimes will take on coordination only clients. We generally do more full planning. But if we do take on a coordination client, we won't just do day of. Some people do. I would say, like, this is a little bit of a red flag because I really find that in order to be able to coordinate an event well, you need to be involved at least two months in advance. So you know that event like the back of your hand. You're helping couples to identify like any gaps that they should be aware of, things that maybe they haven't thought of.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And then that's really like the production phase. So they're sharing all of the information with the vendors. All right, here's what time you need to show up. Here's, you know, the floor plans. Here's like the dietary restrictions and like the seating chart. Here's the venue rules and regulations. Can I please get your insurance? And then the day of peace is being there to orchestrate it all. So making sure that the couple and their family and all their friends are having a good time, that things are running on time, that they know where to go, loading them onto the transport, making sure they're putting their dress on at the right time, all that stuff. And then also managing the vendor team. So making sure they're like showing up a time that they're setting up properly, that, you know, they're cueing the music, they're cueing the right songs, and then you know, handling all like the day of decor and overseeing the breakdown so the couple can just like go enjoy their after party. And we're overseeing it all.

[Kaitlyn]

There's just so much to the wedding. Yeah, it's like even, even hearing you like rattle all that often. Like, do I have ptsd? Not actually, but just like there's just so many details and it's, you know, once again, I'm gonna beat a dead horse. But why, like, having a person whose job it is to just literally think of all those details and be on top of them. And I consider myself to be like pretty detail oriented.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

But thinking about taking all of that on while also having a full time job, like, is crazy to me. And like would be like thinking about taking all of that on. I don't know, I just, I feel like it's money really well spent.

[Laura]

So I think a lot of that also usually falls to the parents when you're not doing that on your, like with the planner and I feel like with us, like, there was almost moments where our parents were like, hey, you guys need us to help with stuff, right? Like, or like, they were like, nervous that we weren't asking them. We're like, no, like, we've got it covered. Like, our planner is going to help.

[Kaitlyn]

And it was really nice.

[Ben]

Like, we. Yeah, yeah, nice for them too.

[Laura]

They got to show up and enjoy the event and not worry about it. Like, even like, yes. As we were leaving the venue, I didn't, we didn't have to worry that like, someone was going to be like, forgetting something at the venue or like, we knew that somebody from your team was gonna be there to like, wrap up and Right.

[Ben]

Everything was like, yeah, you.

[Kaitlyn]

It really does give your, like, family and close friends, like, a better experience because there's less jobs, you know, to do. And like, nothing wrong with, with having your family and friends help that, you know, people are so great and nice, but it is really nice for them to just like, my mom even said she was like, this is like, I mean, you know, she just said like, this was like the least stressful wedding. Like, I just got to like, show up.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

And I don't know, it's just, it really, it really makes a difference on like during the day of like, we kind of all have a Mormon background a little bit. And I think a lot of those weddings are very like diy. Whole families helping, Whole family's doing it.

[Ben]

Buffet.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah, exactly. And which is all fun and amazing.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

You know, it can be very cost effective, but I don't know, it just. I think that, like, we were just, we were able to throw a really lovely event in New York with, like, with your help. Okay, so this is kind of like a. An open ended one. But what do you think are some of the biggest mistakes couples make during the planning process? You kind of mentioned, like, you know, if they only want to have a day of coordinator, that's sort of a red flag to you. What are, what are some other mistakes that you see?

[Ben]

I would say, okay, I say two things. The first is focusing too much on guest experience. I think it's really important to focus on guest experience. And, you know, you're inviting these people to your wedding. You want to make sure they have a good time, you want to make sure they're well fed, they're enjoying, you know, but also remember that it's your day. I think a lot of people just get really too tied up in like, oh, are my guests going to be happy and comfortable? Like, let's make sure the basics are covered. Let's give them some moments of surprise and delight. But like, don't forget that it's your day. So if you want to do a sweetheart because you just want to have, you know, a minute alone with your spouse, like your brand new spouse, because you're tired of talking to people, do it. People will understand. Yeah, I think people just get really tied up and other people. And you should really remember it's about yourself.

[Kaitlyn]

Right.

[Ben]

Too. And your as a couple.

[Kaitlyn]

Is that kind of like just having way too much happening a little bit? Like the. You need to have all these surprises or all these little like what, what, what do people typically do? I feel like when you say like guest experience, like just, I don't know, kind of having just like too much going on, too much of a packed agenda. And then you kind of, you know, realize like you're like, I don't know, the day passes too fast.

[Ben]

Totally. And I think also stressing about like all the little details, like we don't need to have like every little thing branded. Every is like a moment of surprise and delight. Sometimes just like a simple like escort card table can be really pretty. You don't need to feel like you need to give them like a special like espresso shot with that or like ring a bell for some champagne. Like those things are fun but like sometimes it's simple as the way to go.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. And I think, I think one thing I didn't anticipate is like people are going to be excited and impressed no matter what because it's a wedding. Because it's like.

[Ben]

Yeah, like the.

[Kaitlyn]

Obviously we see a lot of wedding, wedding stuff and whatever the bar is high. But I, I just feel like you don't necessarily have to bend over backwards to do every single little detail, make every single thing incredibly unique and thoughtful and different. Because I think you'll a be exhausted by that and be like, I just, I don't think, I don't think it matters as much. I think people are just already going to be like, like elated to like see you get married.

[Ben]

So the other thing I would say is trying to be like too much of a micromanager of your wedding. Like put trust in your team that you hire, put trust in your planner, put trust in your vendor team. Like give your input, share thoughts. You know, like, call it out if it's not feeling right, but like relinquish some control and like just know that, you know, we do this all the time. Like sometimes multiple wedding or Sorry. Multiple weekends a month. And we've done this before. We've got you. And so I think it's just like, putting trust. Yeah. And letting go of that control a little bit.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, one thing, like, for our experience, you know, the weather was a big question mark.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Like, the whole week before, it said, like, lightning and thunder, and it really started to, like. I mean, it was always worrying me, but it was really starting to panic me. Like, probably three days out, and we had a call about, like, a rain plan. And. And then we, like. Or like, you had everything ready to go. You were like, okay, we're. These are the umbrellas we're going to order. Like, if it. And, you know, it just. It's. I felt. I felt like I was in really good hands. And, like, that was just the thing of it. Like, we had no control over. And I feel like you need to tell people about, like, the meteorologist. Tell people what? Tell. Yeah, tell everyone about the. Yeah, tell everyone about the meteorologist.

[Ben]

So we always want to make sure that we have a solid rain plan and, like, backups in place. But when it is, like, it may or may not rain, we have a meteorologist, meteorologist that we work with. So she gives us reports, and they get more accurate as the days go on. And rather than, like, you know, opening up these apps and me, like, is this correct? She can really predict it. Like, we'll give her the location and she'll let us know, you know, when it's gonna rain. And it's been so helpful.

[Kaitlyn]

It's incredible.

[Ben]

Last few years. Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

I. The meteorologist brought me a lot of peace of mind.

[Laura]

I think it made it so that we could put down our phone apps and, like, stop looking at it. Because literally, even the day before, I think it said that it was going. I think that it said that it was going to rain exactly at the moment that we were supposed to be outside.

[Ben]

Yep.

[Laura]

And so it helped us to, like, relax a little bit.

[Kaitlyn]

Totally.

[Ben]

And, like, be more present.

[Kaitlyn]

Yes.

[Ben]

Yeah. Which is so important.

[Kaitlyn]

And like. Yeah. We were like, we've ordered the umbrellas. There's nothing we can do.

[Ben]

Yeah. And relinquish some control. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

That's another reason why I loved our venue so much is like, the boathouse. Because I. I do feel like, as well, if we had. If it had to be indoors, it's a really pretty indoor.

[Ben]

So true.

[Kaitlyn]

Tell me, like, what are some of your favorite New York. What are some of your favorite venues in New York? Maybe the. The Tri State Area, like, yeah, I would say.

[Ben]

Okay, so within, like, the five boroughs. I love the Bowery Hotel. It's just, like, so stunning and cozy. I also really love 99 Scott. It's like this warehouse out in Bushwick. But it has, like, really good bones and is, like, a really good canvas and has, like, indoor outdoor space, which is quite rare in New York. Yeah, obviously, the Boathouse is one of my favorites. It's just so charming. We do some work out east, so in the Hamptons. I really love the Parish. Also, the Pridewood Hotel is just, like, so cute and charming. And then upstate, I really love Ines Auberge. And I would say Scribner's. Those are, like, my faves.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Amazing. Amazing. This is just kind of a little bit off the cuff, but. Okay. So. Love those venues. Do you. Is there anything, like, really specific about having, like, a New York wedding? Like, do you feel like it's just a thousand times harder to, like, to deal with? I mean, I just. I don't know. I felt like planning a wedding in New York was a lot harder because there were just, like, nobody there.

[Ben]

Just.

[Kaitlyn]

There's so many people who want to get married here, and it was like, no one's gonna, like, cut you a deal, basically. You know, there's no, like, amazing deals to be had. There's not like you're gonna, like, find a steal of, like, a venue that's going to be all, like, check all your boxes. Because there's just so many weddings here. And it's like, there's felt like there was always, like, there would always be, like, another bride who would happily, like, you know, take our date or whatever. And so I don't know. I'm curious what your take is on that, like, wedding with weddings in New York.

[Ben]

Yeah. Interesting. I feel like counter to that. Right. The quality here is so good because you have to be. There's so many options. And so I feel like to be successful, like, you have to be really great at what you do.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Just, like, the truth. I feel like, with a lot of things about New York, but I just feel like the quality of, like, you know, for example. Okay. I don't want to, like, say the state, but, like, we'll do weddings out of New York, even though they're still on the East Coast. Just, like, the level of, like, hospitality, the level of food, you know, just like, all the things. It's. It's just, like, really good here.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

If that.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah, no, that's. That's an excellent point. And I Do? Yeah. Like, you have to be good at it or else, like, you'll, like, get eaten alive, you know, like, no one's going to.

[Ben]

Like, someone else will take that spot.

[Kaitlyn]

Exactly.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. Okay, let's move on to another question. Someone wants to know. You know, how do you come up with your wedding budget? What areas should you try to save money on? I think, like, we're going to spend a good amount of time probably talking about budget, because it's a big one here. Ben's favorite subject.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Laura]

I mean, I feel like, personally, we started with an idea.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Laura]

The concept of a plan.

[Kaitlyn]

Literally, the concept of a plan. Concept of a plan.

[Laura]

And then, like, as we started to, like, really explore what things cost, I think that we realized that we were gonna have to, like, start pinching our pennies and saving more.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Laura]

And then. And I think, like, our vision also for the wedding expanded, and therefore the budget did, too.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Laura]

I think that we came to Laura with about half of what we ended up spending. Maybe about.

[Kaitlyn]

I would say, almost like, less than half. Maybe less than half, probably.

[Laura]

Yeah.

[Ben]

But that's so common. Like, it's so common. Like, we live in the age of, like, Pinterest, TikTok, Instagram, and people just have no concept of, like, what these things cost.

[Kaitlyn]

And you get in this mode where you're like, it's my wedding. Of course I'm gonna have the exact thing I want. Like, why would I say no? Every decision feels once in a lifetime. So you want to just say yes to everything.

[Ben]

Totally.

[Kaitlyn]

In fact, as we were, like, preparing for this episode, one of the questions is, like, where, you know, what areas do you try to save money on? And Ben was like, what areas did we try to save money on? I'm drawing a blank on that one.

[Ben]

I'll get back to you on that one. I'll think about it. No, but I think when coming up with a budget, like, I always say, the first step is, like, have a conversation with everybody that's gonna be paying, whether it's, like, the couple, parents, whoever. I mean, like, look, like, how much do we feel like we can spend? And then I would take that amount and. And have a consult with a planner and say, like, hey, this is how much I'm looking to spend. This is my vision. Like, are they in line at all? And if they're not, you either have to change your vision or you have to change your budget.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. Yeah. And I think, in all fairness, we ended up changing our budget.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Which is which, Like, I wouldn't I don't regret a single thing. And I also think a big factor was guest list. I think we came to you with a much smaller guest list than what we actually netted out with.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's true.

[Kaitlyn]

Okay. This is just kind of getting into some specifics. Like, what's a good starting budget to work from if you want to Host, let's say 125 to 150 guests didn't give a location. So I don't know. It's a little hard.

[Ben]

It's a hard question to answer. It really depends on, like, what you're looking for. I would say, like, roughly the charge is $1600 per guest, but it really can vary. It can be less, it can be more. It just really depends on, like, what your vision is, the location, and a lot of different factors.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. And I think to, you know, one thing to New York's credit, like, you know, there were. There were some ways that we could have maybe brought our costs down with, like, we could have gotten married in a different month of the year.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

You know, but like, I do think there are a lot of different ways to, to. To like, to split it or whatever and to like, to find some savings, but you have to be willing to compromise on your. On your vision to some. To some degree.

[Ben]

Like maybe you skip the handmade paper.

[Kaitlyn]

Exactly.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

No, and that, that's like a great example. Like, I. For our invitations, I had this like, Pinterest board with like, these handmade paper imitations that I loved. And I was like, okay, like, literally, I want our, you know, I want a spin of this, like something like this. And, and it was all. And I, you know, we ended up actually landing on somewhere that was like, similar, but. But very different in the sense that it wasn't as, like, handmade feeling, but it was still. It still felt like beautiful color, luxe. But the handmade. The handmade paper was going to be what, like, triple the amount of money.

[Ben]

Oh, it was like thousands of savings.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And it's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy.

[Laura]

That was interesting too, that there were places where we were like, oh, we're for sure going to save money on this. But then, so I think, like, the thing that comes to mind initially is like, the food and beverage budget where we're like, oh, half of our people, they're not going to drink. It's not going to matter. Like, it's going to be like, way cheaper. And then we realized that there's a minimum for the venue, which we, like, hadn't really considered before. And so we're like, okay, well, how do we spend the rest of this? Because they're gonna charge it to us anyway.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Those minimums will get you.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. And I feel like this is also why it's just helpful to have a planner is like, you don't really even know what, like, how these venues try to, like, kind of get you a little bit. Like, we thought that the venue cost was going to be very low because it is kind of low on paper for, like, a New York venue. But then we just had no clue that they were gonna be like, well, you have to work with our food and beverage people, and it's going to be this minimum. What should you prioritize? Like, what is actually worth the money? Is the. You know, is it the. The tableware? Is it the tablecloths? Or is it, you know, is it the open bar versus just, like, couple, you know, set cocktails? What do you think's worth it?

[Ben]

I would say the one thing that I always have my couples prioritize is photography.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

It's one of the only ways that you're gonna have to look back on your wedding. I think it's so important. So I always try and get them to book that first after the venue. And then I would say it's really up to my clients. Like, if you're a lover of flowers, like, let's prioritize that. If you love, you know, stationery, if you love handmade paper, whatever. Like, let's prioritize that. I think let's make sure that the basics are covered. Like, we've got, you know, enough food where people aren't gonna feel hungry, like, enough fun drinks, where it's gonna feel, like, interesting and fun and, like, you know, there's a few moments of, like, surprise and delight for your guests. And I also really like to prioritize, like, anything they're gonna touch day of, like, the menu at the table, it's something that they're gonna touch. They're gonna pick up. Like, let's make sure that's really beautifully designed. But from there, it's. It's really, like, the couple's priorities and, like, what they love. And as long as the basics are covered, like, you're good.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. Yeah. And I think a big thing for us was, like, was food. Was making sure that the food was, like. Was delicious. Yeah.

[Laura]

Yeah. I think we. Obviously, we knew that we had to go with that with, like, Purslane's people, but I think we did an extra tasting Just to make sure that, like, we had everything dialed in. But I do think that, like, what you said about photographer is absolutely true. Like, I think you said when we got our photos back, you were like, oh, it somehow looks even more beautiful. Like, totally agree. And I think, like, as you go through those moments, you have, like, obviously rose colored glasses and like, everything feels, like, so special and amazing and you want somebody who's able to capture that and, like, relay how special and fun it was.

[Kaitlyn]

Totally. And you can spend all the money in the world and then if your photographer doesn't misses the mark, like, then you're, you know, it's just. Yeah, I think that's such a good point because I feel like my instinct would be like, oh, just always prioritize the food and in the venue, which is two big things. But I do think, like, you can't fix a bad photographer or a photographer that you, like, skimp on, you know, Shout out Savannah.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Anyway, Savannah Sturkey, who was our. The best, she killed it. And she just has. She had such great energy. Like, so chill, so relaxed. Like, just everyone on your. Everyone on your team just brought, like, not Savannah doesn't work. Sorry. I'll restart everyone who we worked with from, like, your team, the Love Laura team, to like, Savannah. Everyone was just very relaxed.

[Laura]

I remember there was like, one moment where I was like, oh, like, did Savannah get a photo of this? And then I was like, I haven't seen her anywhere. And then literally in our, like, preview, there's two great photos of it.

[Ben]

Oh, good.

[Laura]

And yeah, so, like, she did a great job. And everybody knocked out of the park.

[Kaitlyn]

Okay, next question. How far out should you lock each thing down? So, like, you know, venue, music, florals, decor, RSVPs.

[Ben]

So generally I say 12 to 18 months in advance. Lock on your venue, hire your planner, and then the next thing you should do is start hiring your vendor team. Around nine months out, you want to send your save the date and then start the design process. So figure out, you know, what rentals are you bringing in, how are we doing the lighting, what are the florals going to look like? All of the fend stationery day of all of those things. And then by around three months out, you want to be sending your invite. And then RSVP should be in no later than one month in advance.

[Kaitlyn]

Okay. And it flies by. I'll just leave that. Let's talk about wedding trends.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Kaitlyn]

We're all on Instagram. We're all on Pinterest. We're seeing all of the trends, and a lot of them are very beautiful. So I'm curious to hear, like, what do you feel like is trending right now? And. And what do you feel like is timeless and. And if there's any trends that you're not a fan of.

[Ben]

Yeah. So my favorite things right now and, like, really, what's trending? So pops of silver, which is so funny. I've always been a gold girl, but I'm, like, all about the silver now. Same pops of red drapery. I feel like we're talking about a lot of things from your wedding.

[Kaitlyn]

It was perfect.

[Ben]

Large format cakes, definitely having a moment. And then also incorporating food, whether that's like, fruit or vegetables into the tablescape is definitely having a moment too.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

[Ben]

And then as far as what's timeless, I don't know. Like, I have a hard time with this question because I feel like you shouldn't be so concerned about, like, well, am I gonna look back and, like, the photos? Like, it's a moment in time. Just celebrate that. Celebrate who you are at that time, what you liked at that time. I think try to not have everything like, oh, it's like, of the moment trend. Maybe you mix, you know, like, a really on trend dress with, like, a classic bouquet. And, like, I think that juxtaposition is what makes the design interesting in many ways.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah, totally.

[Laura]

I feel like there were a few moments where we tried to pull from, like, older styles. Like, I mean, your second look dress, like, had a very distinct, like, vintage vibe to it.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. Like, people were like, where did you find this vintage dress? And I was like, oh, it's actually not vintage. But I. That's. I love that the people were, like, thought it was vintage because it did, you know, didn't feel like a 2025 design. Yeah. I mean, I feel like you and I kind of gravitated towards, like. Like, obviously there was definitely color in our wedding and across, like, florals and whatnot, but we also, like, just, like, a lot of black and white and cream. And I, like, I struggled kind of the whole time we were planning the wedding with, like, having colors and, like, what are my wedding colors?

[Laura]

Like, I think there was a moment where the wedding was going to be a lot more red.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

We scaled back on that a lot, which I think I'm glad we did call. Yeah. Like, but there were still little pops and they were so perfect.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Like, yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Yes. Yeah. Agreed.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Okay. So. So back to you. Any. Any trends that you're just like, please, no. Or Any trends that you're just, like, glad are over.

[Ben]

Okay. So I would say some of the things that are trending right now that most. I. I don't like them because of, like, logistical reasons. Not that they don't look cool, but, you know, the serpentine tables that are curvy and shaped. Yeah, they look so cool. But like, in reality, you're at this weird angle, and you're, like, not really facing somebody across from you.

[Kaitlyn]

It's like, I feel like I always see those tables, too. Not without people sitting at. So they look gorgeous.

[Ben]

They look so cool. But logistically, like, not great.

[Kaitlyn]

Okay. Okay.

[Ben]

I love the look of a champagne tower. They're so chic and cool, but, like, so messy. In practice, champagne is everywhere. The linen is getting drenched. I've now been at two weddings where a guest has literally knocked over the champagne tower. Oh, my gosh. So don't love those anymore. And I would also say, like, vague dress codes. I think people are trying to be, like, really fun with the dress code. For example, we have one coming up, and we're saying it's summer solstice chic because it's on the solstice, which is so cute. But. And what we are doing is we're then describing, you know, this means and you know what it means. So guests aren't like, wait, but what is that? Yes, and that's, like, a big trend right now. So just make sure you describe it and give some examples of what that means.

[Kaitlyn]

Totally.

[Laura]

I think with dress code, just be prepared to field questions.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Laura]

No matter what.

[Kaitlyn]

No matter what.

[Laura]

So. Yeah, totally.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. And. But I think also, you know, I'm glad we did black tie for hours, because I just feel like it. I don't know, when everyone getting dressed up can be kind of annoying. You know, it's annoying to run to tux, but I do feel like it makes a big difference in your own experience, because it just feels fancier. It feels like an excuse to, like. I don't know. It just. When else do you get a tux?

[Ben]

Literally? Like, I feel like this is a lot of things for me with weddings. Like, when else do you get to do this, you know, and just go for it? Like, why not?

[Kaitlyn]

Right. Next question. Going kind of going back to the vendor debacle. What. What red flag should couples kind of watch out for in vendor contracts?

[Ben]

So with a vendor contract, I always want to make sure that there is a very solid force majeure clause.

[Kaitlyn]

So, wait, what word is that?

[Ben]

Force majeure. And I'm probably butchering the pronunciation. I've never even heard of it with my Utah accent. Basically, you want to make sure that if there is anything that's going to happen, like a hurricane or a fire burns down your venue or if COVID 19 happens and we're not able to put on the event, what happens to your money. So make sure that's really solid. And also, I also want to see, like, if for whatever reason the date has to change, what happens? Can you reschedule? Can you reschedule within six months, a year? Like, just be sure, like, you know what's happening with your money. And also non performance clause. So if you have, you know, this awesome DJ buck that you're so excited about, let's say they're like in the hospital with some emergency. Let's say they get hit by a bus, like, what happens? Are they gonna send a replacement? Like, those are really two big things that I always say to watch out for.

[Kaitlyn]

Do with like the first one that you called out. Do, like a lot of. Or you know, some vendors who are not so great, like, just say, sorry, you're out, you're out. You're like, out of luck if. If, you know, a calamity happens or I guess, like, what, what. What is. Like, what are you looking for with those, like, clauses? I suppose.

[Ben]

Yeah. I'm making sure that you are getting the option, like, to reschedule the date or you're getting some money back, like, if they can't perform. Because, for example, with venues, if it burns down and you can't have the wedding there, like, you should be getting a refund. Their insurance should be paying for that.

[Kaitlyn]

Right, Right. This kind of goes back to like the other. The question about what's worth prioritizing, but what vendors are worth splurging on?

[Ben]

Photographer.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah, sure. Obviously that one.

[Ben]

Don't even think about it.

[Kaitlyn]

I. I'll just say we didn't do a live band. We had a live saxophone player and we had a dj. It was plenty.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Live band was going to be astronomical compared to like, the price of DJ and a saxophone player.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

And I am. I. I don't feel like I missed anything by not having live music.

[Ben]

I agree. I. I do love a band, but I really still love a dj. Like, there's certain songs that only a DJ can really do well. Right. And so I think even if you're like, oh, should I do, like the full band? Like, maybe you just have live music like you guys did for the ceremony in Coxlower. It's so romantic and beautiful. And then, yeah, maybe a few live elements, but like, I think that's plenty. Like, I don't feel like you need to go for this full, like 18 piece band all the time.

[Kaitlyn]

Totally.

[Ben]

Wow, your guys. Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah. This person says, I'm struggling with my own planner. They're missing deadlines, they're distracted. Wedding is in two months. What does this person do that really stinks?

[Ben]

I think honestly is the best policy. Have an open conversation. Look, these are my expectations. This is like, what's not working. And if it's still not working, maybe consider hiring someone else. I mean, I've had a few couples now come to me after working with one planner because it wasn't working out. And I think ultimately, like, you know, you can't get a redo on this day.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

So it's maybe something you should consider.

[Kaitlyn]

It's, it's, it's worth having the tough conversation to make sure that you're in good hands because I think you will definitely not regret that. You will not regret having the hard conversation and then actually getting to like exhale and have someone who can take care of things. And like, you know, a lot of times it's not like you pay your planner fully upfront. You know, you pay like. So hopefully at this point you haven't paid for it them completely. If they're not holding up their end of the bargain, I mean. Okay. Ben's laughing because he wants to bring up a moment from our wedding that we weren't able to perfectly.

[Ben]

Like, there's always something. Yeah, there's always something.

[Kaitlyn]

Always something.

[Laura]

Our saxophone player wore a wild suit.

[Kaitlyn]

A mustard yellow suit.

[Laura]

It was a moment of like, how do I make this wedding about me? And honestly, honestly, it might have been a good thing because it was like, hey, this is the thing that's going wrong.

[Kaitlyn]

Yes. Yeah. But it doesn't matter.

[Laura]

Yeah. Going wrong is. Yeah. Is too strong. This is the thing that we can be like, oh, wow, that's crazy, and not worry about anything else. It's like, you know, a minor detail.

[Kaitlyn]

Right, right.

[Laura]

And he also was really good.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah, he did a great job.

[Laura]

He did show up to play, which was great. But it was also like, really funny. What was the. He looked like Curious George. Like the.

[Kaitlyn]

Yes. Like man in the yellow hat.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Kaitlyn]

A love in life. He ever sees this. You did a great job. You know, we maybe would have controlled the suit color a little bit more, but it's all right. And it's funny. It's one of those things where, like, people don't notice, people don't care. But you're clued into every detail.

[Ben]

Oh, you're noticing every little thing. And like, we did tell everyone to wear all black. We're gonna make sure they get that note next time and comply. But like, also, it's a funny story.

[Kaitlyn]

Y. Like I, I, from his perspective, I bet it was like, this is what I wear. Like, this is like a moment.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah.

[Laura]

Bringing the jazz.

[Kaitlyn]

Okay. Another question is what are some surprise items couples often forget to like, budget for?

[Ben]

Okay, so some of the items they forget to budget for, I would say lighting and staging. People, like, just don't think about putting lighting into their budget. If you're doing a wedding in a remote location, toilets and generators can be a huge thing. And then also rentals for your catering team, for example, if you're doing family style, a lot of caterers won't supply all the platters and the service utensils and all that stuff. And those can be like, big items.

[Kaitlyn]

And those are once again things that like a planner knows about already ahead of time and is like, accounting for. Just like going back to that original question of like, why do you need a wedding planner? It's like, like, for example, even just like vendor meals, you know, like, you're just not clued into that at all.

[Ben]

Yep.

[Kaitlyn]

But you're like, oh, that's a part of the process. You need to like feed everybody and, and tips and like.

[Ben]

Yep.

[Kaitlyn]

Like, you know, make sure that you have tips prepped. And some people only accept cash. And it's like just all of the little things talk to us about, you know, sometimes brides emotions can be high. How, you know, how do you help navigate that if you're, you know, if you're a bride listening, how do you care less about other people's feelings? Maybe people you're not inviting or people who are complaining about your wedding or whatnot? I don't know. What's your approach to that?

[Ben]

Yeah, it's so interesting. Like, I think weddings really have a way of like, drawing out. It's a high emotion time. Right. And so any dynamics, they're a little bit sensitive. Like, they'll just be amplified. But we're so used to it and we've seen it all. I would say, you know, like, with couples that are like, really concerned, I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Like, I think that people will really understand if you know about things and like, just don't be so concerned. Like, ultimately people are there to celebrate you. They want you to be happy. So, like, just try and, like, accept that and just, like, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

[Kaitlyn]

Like.

[Ben]

Like. Like, again, feel like the basics are covered, but don't feel like, you know, you have to attend to, like, every little guest, like, want and need, like, their adults still deal with it.

[Kaitlyn]

Totally. And, like, on the day of, so much of that stuff won't matter.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

And you'll just be wrapped up in this, like, bubble of just, like, bliss. And. Yeah. That stuff will just. It will feel inconsequential.

[Ben]

Totally.

[Kaitlyn]

How about then, like, family drama? I mean, I'm sure that's a whole other side of things that you deal with is just, like, opinions from families, you know, moms.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

How do you deal with it?

[Ben]

A lot of family dynamics, for sure. One thing that I always ask my clients is we keep it confidential, is, like, please make us aware of any family dynamics that we need to be aware of ahead of time. But I think when there's a lot of people involved in the process and there's, like, different opinions, sometimes it's just allowing the space to have those opinions set, and sometimes that's, like, enough, and then it can go away. But I think a lot of things. Things come up when they're, like, unspok broken.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And so a lot of this job really does feel, like, adjacent to being a therapist a lot of the times.

[Kaitlyn]

Totally.

[Ben]

Just, like, allowing that space, and, you know, you can say it, and then it's gone. And, like, a lot of times that solves it.

[Kaitlyn]

And to your point, you're probably, like, also emotionally managing, like, couples a little bit and, like, their differences of opinion.

[Ben]

Yep.

[Kaitlyn]

You know, and, like, differences in how they want to spend money and, like, what they. What actually matters to them. And, you know, I mean, I feel like. I don't think the wedding planning process was hard on our relationship necessarily, but I do think that it brought out, like, okay, like, you know, we need to. You were obviously always concerned with, like, how much money are we spending? And I was less concerned with that. And it can be stressful. It can, like, you know, and then I. And, like, I feel like you were a lot. You were a witness to a lot of zoom calls where Ben was like, okay, well, look, like looking at me after I've suggested something like, how is that gonna fit into our budget? But it's fine.

[Ben]

But I think it's a good practice in marriage. I mean, I've been married for, I don't know, seven years, and it's all about. It's a lot of compromise and, like, wedding planning will teach you that, like, no couple is gonna have the exact exact same vision or exact same priorities. And I think it's a good practice and, you know, doing something together.

[Kaitlyn]

Right, right. That's true. And it was like, I think. I think it made us stronger. I mean, I loved hearing all of Ben's suggestions. I. I think that we made a great team. And you had more opinions than I anticipated, but most of them I welcomed.

[Laura]

We're good at group projects.

[Kaitlyn]

We are good at group projects for sure.

[Ben]

You guys killed it.

[Kaitlyn]

Ben was really good. Laura used notion as a system to help us stay organized and give us tasks and whatnot. And it was just. I feel like Ben was very active in notion. You're just great. You just weren't a checked out groom. And I'm sure a lot of grooms can be kind of checked out.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. It's. Everyone's different. Like, there's been some couples where I won't meet one of the partners until, like, you know, the final walk through or something like that, which is so funny. Like, there's some people where it's just like, the bride and the mom. It's really interesting to see, like, everybody's relationship dynamics and, like, family dynamics. It's like, it's fascinating.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Laura]

Yeah. I think, like, our level of involvement was correlated to, like, how busy each of us were. So I think, like, obviously when in times where you were more busy, I was picking things up and vice versa.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Laura]

And so I think I'm sure that that plays into a lot of the different dynamics. But I will say that, like, any conversation that I had about wedding planning with people was like, oh, like, how is it for you? Or, well, how is it for your fiance? Like. Cause she's doing all of it. Right. I think the assumption was always that, like, I was just kind of like, along for the ride and you weren't.

[Ben]

You were very much involved, like, actively.

[Kaitlyn]

I felt like I could fully trust you with any side of the process. I felt like I could be like, okay, like, can you handle this meeting? Or like, you know, I just felt like you. We were very much so on the same page, which is. Which was nice and lovely and a good indication, a good indicator for a marriage. Okay, one of the final questions. Tell us some, like, dream venues you have. What is the 16th country you want to go to to plan? Do you. Are. Are you open to doing destination weddings or, like. Yeah.

[Ben]

So, I mean, in my personal life, I have A four year old. And so it's been a little bit trickier, like the last few years. But we have done the last few years. We did Sweden, we did Scotland, and I'm manifesting for the next few years, I want to do at least one or two a year. I think it would be so much fun. Um, would love to do more of those.

[Kaitlyn]

How many weddings do you typically do a year?

[Ben]

It depends on the scope.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

But generally anywhere from 10 to 15.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Is kind of the sweet spot for us. Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

Amazing. I can't imagine. I mean, just we planned one wedding and we. When we had you, I can't even imagine. It's incredible.

[Laura]

Um, are there specific venues that you're interested in rather than, like, countries or are there?

[Ben]

Yeah, I would say for venues like, what I'm really interested in getting into right now is more like custom tent build. So we've done tended weddings. We do tended weddings all of the time, but more getting into those. Like, all right, we're gonna be out in a field and like, let's build this thing from scratch. Let's bring in, like, the water, let's bring in the generator. Like, I love a challenge.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And also just really love it when I'm not tied down to, like, the confines of a venue as well. Like, we can make it into anything we want. I really want to do more of those.

[Kaitlyn]

One, one question I have for you. You know, before we decided on the boathouse and everything, we were like, looking at a lot of, like, all inclusive places. What's your thoughts on, like, all inclusive? Because I think that also happens a lot of times out of the country. It's like, come have your wedding at this castle and we'll, you know, it's just like, this is a lock. This is the set price. You can invite as many people as you want. Like, do you. I don't know, thoughts about that?

[Ben]

I think it's good and bad. I think if it's a couple that's not as design focused or has the budget to bring in other things, like, I work at venues, you know, that will include, like, the tables and the chairs and all the glassware and plates and all that stuff, which is great, but it doesn't always work. The aesthetic doesn't always work for every single wedding. And so if you're being, you know, really budget conscious, it's great. But if you're being design focused, just know that you might have to spend a little bit more budget wise to bring in the things and finishes that you want.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah, totally, totally.

[Kaitlyn]

Like, you might end up just adding to that big number as it is.

[Ben]

And then maybe you should have just gone with like the venue you actually love.

[Kaitlyn]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Do you feel like you're seeing a lot of people do bridal parties or less so? Because, like, we didn't have a bridal party.

[Ben]

Definitely less so.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah, definitely less so. I feel like it may be, my theory on it is because people are getting married a little bit later in life, and so it's really hard to draw the line of, like, who would I ask to be my wedding party? But I've also seen people be like, well, I just want a wedding party. And so they'll have like 13 each, which is great and fine, like whatever works for you. But I would say like, like maybe 30 to 40% of our clients don't do a wedding party.

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

How often do you see like one day events versus multi day events? It varies. Yeah.

[Ben]

And I mean, we do both. Like, we love to do weekend planning. And I think, you know, when you're making that decision, it's how much like, you know, time do you want to be spending with these people? They're just like such different experiences. And budgets too.

[Kaitlyn]

No, that was like a huge thing for us. You know, we did end up doing kind of like 1.5 days. We had like a little picnic and then we had our rehearsal dinner. But we. Those events were much more low budget and I think. And it worked out perfectly. You know, it was. They were just a little bit more.

[Ben]

Like diy, but you got the time with your people, which I think is like what's most important. Yeah.

[Laura]

Also curious what you would say now, having not done a bridal party. Would you do that again?

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah, I think so. I. I felt like all the people who were special to me, like, were there and knew that they were special to me. Like, I obviously had like a bachelorette that kind of was like, you know, with like, with the girls who I was closer to. And I think that just on a very superficial level, I think people want to wear what they want to wear.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn]

And so unless, like, I don't know, I liked that our dress code was just kind of like whatever you feel amazing. And that's also like, you know, long, you know, in terms of dresses. Yeah. But what about you?

[Laura]

Yeah, I mean, I think that it had an interesting effect in which there were some decisions that were made a lot easier because of it and then simultaneously decisions that were made a lot harder because of it. Because, like, Within a standard wedding timeline, there's like, okay, the groomsmen and so. And so do this or that. And it's like, okay, well, where do we. Because we haven't actually defined who's in the bridal party. Then like, who do we actually invite to that type of thing?

[Kaitlyn]

And so it made some of those, like the moments before the wedding, like getting ready and stuff, a little bit more unclear about like, who should be at what. Yeah, yeah.

[Laura]

And I think that like, while I think the benefit of it was that like, you don't have to ask people to do all that much more. Like you said, like buying a specific dress or like doing XYZ if they, you can invite other people to do other things, but then, you know, it's easier for them to say no probably, if they really want to. And then. Yeah, but I think that realistically anybody who was invited to the wedding is in your inner circle. Especially at our stage in life.

[Kaitlyn]

Right, Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, agreed. Agreed. Laura, thank you so much for coming on Pop apologists. Thank you for planning our perfect day, our three week anniversary. How does it feel, Ben? Thank you for being here. Love you. Laura, tell everyone where they can find you.

[Ben]

Um, I'm on Instagram ovelauravents and Then website is lovelaura.co if you want to shoot me an inquiry and talk about your big day.

[Kaitlyn]

She's the best. Cannot recommend enough. Laura is the best. We love her. And yeah, everyone, we will be back next week with another episode. Bye. Love ya.

[Laura]

Bye.