Chandler (2:53)

We are rebranding the podcast 100 devoted to how you can provide payments to your clients. Easy, low payments, monthly payments. I am honestly waiting for the world to collide when my actual clients, like.

Lauren (3:09)

Realize that I have this totally trashy.

Chandler (3:11)

Other life and they, like, listen to this podcast and I lose all credibility in the eyes of the trooper.

Lauren (3:18)

You're never gonna lose. You're only gonna gain credibility and, you know, the wide breadth of subjects you, you know about. But I actually have to tell you, dad paid you a very sweet compliment. False, but nice compliment last night. Oh, God. Just kidding. He was saying that when you guys were first kind of starting retain, that you would talk to, you know, financial people or, you know, men at banks. Women don't work at banks.

Chandler (3:44)

Accurate.

Lauren (3:45)

He would just be talking to people in the industry. Right. And he said, you know, I. I could not believe how articulate she was. Like the most articulate person. So polished when she was speaking to these people. And I'd like, you know, dad was kind of acting like he didn't really know totally what you were talking about, but I mean, I'm sure he did to some degree. But like, I just, I feel like I'm butchering this compliment to you, but he was just talking about how, you know, how wonderful and how proud he was of you when you were like, getting the business up off the ground and how just polished and articulate you were.

Chandler (4:17)

That is so nice. That is very, very kind.

Lauren (4:20)

Yeah, it was like we were like talking about me and then all of a sudden he was just like, you know, Lauren. I got to say, when we started retained with Lauren, I was just like, what? Like we're literally a few stories about mom and dad. We can save that for later on in the episode. But I just had to tell you that before I forgot.

Chandler (4:39)

Wait. That is so cute and so nice. So thank you. That makes me feel really good.

Lauren (4:44)

Well, I just want you to know that the reason why I sound so chipper. Thanks for asking. Is because I have had about 3/4 of my coffee and the will to live is starting to seep back into my veins. Have you. Do you know what that feeling is like? I don't know if you ever get this, but, like, I will have moments of intense dread, like first thing in the morning or, you know, Sunday night. I'm going to get to that later with my Resolutions. And then I will have like when I drink coffee or maybe, you know, let's say once I've taken a Percocet, where the dread really starts to. More on that later on the Patreon, where the dread starts to really leave my body and will enters. And so I just want you to know that I just had coffee and like the will to live and the will to get through this Tuesday, my first Tuesday back at work after what feels like, you know, a month long break. That was so nice. It's back. I don't know how long it's going to last for, but it's back right now.

Chandler (5:45)

Well, it's so funny because I do think, I do feel that when I wake up. I completely agree. It's almost like the world is a dark place. Like literally the sky is still black.

Lauren (5:56)

Yeah.

Chandler (5:57)

Like black as my soul. And as, as I sip coffee, it's almost like there's a horizon inside my brain and the sun starts to peek in. And it's like by the end of the caffeination, the sun is shining in my soul. There is sunshine within my soul today.

Lauren (6:16)

Okay.

Chandler (6:17)

I'm basically singing that song. I've gone from complete dread at my mere existence to their sunshine in my soul today.

Lauren (6:25)

Yes, absolutely. I mean, honestly, I. I came back to New York and it's so fudging cold here. It's like, it's probably not even that cold for people who like live here all the time, but like for me it's like 19 degrees and it is a bitter cold. Okay. It is so chilly. And so I had to, you know, get dressed, go and go find coffee because I don't have anything, any groceries at my apartment. And I was just literally like, why the hell did I move here? Like, yeah, Ben's great, but like, I don't know why I did this. Like, I never, I never want to be this cold ever. And the fact that I like now have to be this cold, like for at least four to five months. And then like, literally as I'm sipping my coffee, as I'm back in my apartment, back in my bed, I'm just like, it's all possible. I can live here forever. I can have a great life. I can, you know, I can start a cookie making business, you know? Does you realize possibilities are endless?

Chandler (7:19)

One thing that I think was probably really difficult for our early listeners.

Lauren (7:23)

Yeah.

Chandler (7:23)

Was hearing me be like, oh, I think I'm gonna start a cookie business. Like, I lost my job after the pandemic. I got fired, laid off, whatever. So now I'm gonna start this cookie delivery service. And then to go from that to be like, I'm starting a finance lending company. Like, are you, what are you talking about? Like, like just, just expecting our listeners to be, to nod their heads and be like, oh, yeah, totally sound.

Lauren (7:51)

If anyone could do it, it's you. I mean, honestly, when you, when you were going to do your cookie business, do we have a name for that, by the way? I wish we had a name. Yeah, we have a name.

Chandler (7:58)

Fresh Homemade Cookies.

Lauren (8:01)

I am very literal. Please tell me you still have it. Please tell me I do.

Chandler (8:08)

I still have.

Lauren (8:09)

Okay, good. We need to have fresh homemade cookies. We should be like reposting Pop Apologies episodes on Fresh Homemade Cookies so that it looks like people are constantly like loving our episodes anyways. That's another business strategy for 2022. No, but when you, when you were doing Fresh homemade cookies, you had it down to a science. You had it down to a, I will say financial science. So, you know, it was always there.

Chandler (8:34)

It was truly like, I look back at that and I think, honestly, it. I was such an idiot. First of all, like, I was like, I like baking. So let. I made the, I made the critical error that we all do, which is like, I enjoy doing this thing for 30 minutes once every two months and I feel pure joy while I'm doing it. So why don't I turn it into my full time career and means of sustenance and existence in this world? Like, how I get by. Like, everyone does that.

Lauren (9:05)

Everyone does that.

Chandler (9:05)

And then they realize, like, no, wait, I don't want to, I don't, I don't want to start a restaurant and be a restaurateur. I just want to go out to eat. You know, I don't need to become a florist and like, you know, schlep a bunch of greenery and shrubs everywhere. I just want beautiful florals in my home.

Lauren (9:28)

Guys, it's a big error.

Chandler (9:29)

We all need to.

Lauren (9:31)

I just want to get away from. I just remember you talking about how you could make deliveries. You could, you could go as far as Irvine or something and you could, you know, make it lucrative by zigzagging all around town. Then I remember you also were like, you know, I wonder what, this is going to drive up my gas prices in my house too, because my oven's going to be going all day long.

Chandler (9:53)

That's the worst part about it is I really took it really seriously. I was like, no, no, this is.

Lauren (9:57)

Going to be huge.

Chandler (10:00)

My Homemade cookie business where My homemade cookie business where I bake the cookies in my own home and deliver them.

Lauren (10:09)

To your own car. In my least car that I have a mile limit on my own vehicle.

Chandler (10:16)

While they're still warm. Okay. That was like the value proposition. This I'm going to become rich from. And meanwhile, it took me.

Lauren (10:27)

Oh, go ahead.

Chandler (10:28)

Well, it took me doing all of the math, like, it took me actually running some quick numbers to be like, I will have to do 500 deliveries again.

Lauren (10:38)

All right.

Chandler (10:38)

500 deliveries a day. Purchased 10 ovens, essentially become like get an industrial sized kitchen, become Hermione Granger and be able to be a hundred places at once in order to even get to the income I used to.

Lauren (10:54)

Have at Stan's, where I'm literally picturing you. I can picture this so clearly on my brain. You on your sectional with an Excel tab open with your head in your hands like with a blanket and lotion right next to you, just experiencing this hard truth. Oh, my gosh. I could paint that picture. It's burned in my brain.

Chandler (11:13)

Honestly, when my startup failed, I will never forget. On my sectional, truly running the hard numbers. I mean, like, even if I just use my current manpower, my current human manpower, my current car power and my current one oven. Oven power.

Lauren (11:31)

Yeah.

Chandler (11:32)

I can probably get to $9,000 a year.

Lauren (11:34)

I can probably get to $9,000 a year.

Chandler (11:38)

Oh.

Lauren (11:38)

Anyway. But you and Adam Newman have a lot to commiserate about. Truly.

Chandler (11:43)

Who is Adam Newman?

Lauren (11:45)

The guy who started we work.

Chandler (11:46)

Oh, my gosh. Yes. I was like, is that the French? Is that the dressing, man? Anyway, was it Bichon? Like Newman's dressing? Newman's Own. Did he first start Paul Newman?

Lauren (12:01)

Oh, my God, I'm dying.

Chandler (12:03)

Oh, my gosh.

Lauren (12:04)

Okay.

Chandler (12:05)

Well, yeah, thanks for bringing up, you know, one of my. One of my failures.

Lauren (12:10)

Hey, let's ground ourselves in reality before we make any resolutions. Okay.

Chandler (12:14)

Thanks for bringing up fresh Homemade cookies, chapter 11.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (12:17)

Thanks a lot.

Chandler (12:22)

The good thing is I didn't go out and spend like 20 grand on credit. Honestly, make my dreams come true. Totally.

Lauren (12:29)

Like, I like an investment in my future business. I could see you taking out like a home equity line or, I don't know, some bullshit to. To make fresh homemade cookies work. So I'm glad you didn't.

Chandler (12:40)

Yeah. Thank goodness. Anyway. Anyway. What's going on? What's going on, June?

Lauren (12:47)

So I have to tell you about mom and dad being here. Okay.

Chandler (12:49)

Yes.

Lauren (12:50)

They're probably gonna listen to this and they can love it. They can listen in love Two quick stories, you know, nothing crazy. We've had a lovely visit. It has been very cold, which I. I do feel bad.

Chandler (13:01)

You feel bad? You're taking on the guilt of it being cold in January in New York.

Lauren (13:06)

That's, like, your fault. There's more trauma involved in that, basically. You know, I live far, far away from them. We live on opposite coasts now, and because they are unvaccinated. No, no.

Chandler (13:21)

I mean, we can bring it up.

Lauren (13:23)

Mention it all. Mention it all.

Chandler (13:25)

Yeah.

Lauren (13:26)

I mean, yeah, this is our reality. They're. They're proud of the fact that they're not vaccinated. That's their truth. We're, you know, we're in a. We're in a good place. Anyways, okay, so they're here. And because they aren't vaccinated, we have to eat outdoors, which is, like, on the first day they were here, it was actually, like, 50 degrees. It was so warm. It was amazing. And I was like, oh, thank goodness it's not going to be terrible. And then yesterday, the temperature just, like, fully dropped, and now it's, like, in the 20s. So cold. So we go to dinner with Ben, and we. It's like their first time actually having dinner, just the two of us, and. And them. Every time he's been around them, it's just been, like, with the whole family. So they're like, there's a little bit riding on this. Like, I just want them to be, like, you know, happy and. And engaged. And, you know, I want it to be a good dinner. Well, it was a good dinner, but let me just tell you how dad kicked it off, because it's so cold outside. I go to. I sit down. Ben's not there yet. We're sitting outside, and Dad's like, it's so cold. And I'm like, I'm sorry. Yeah. Like, you can scoot closer to the heating lamp. Like, do you want to go to bodega and get, like, a beanie or something? Or, like, I don't know, go find one of those, like, shops. And so he's like. He's like, okay, I'll go find something. And then, like, comes back, like, two minutes later. It's like, it's too far away. So then Dad's just, like, miserable because he's so cold. So by that time, Ben is now arriving. Ben sits down, and Dad's like, it's pretty cold. Gonna be a fast dinner. We're literally the first words out of his mouth to Ben. Like, our first dinner, just the four of us.

Chandler (14:54)

Oh, my gosh.

Lauren (14:55)

And mom and I just look at each other and we're just like. And yeah, doubt is basically, dad had very bad manners that night and Ben didn't care, obviously, but. Right. Anyways, so that happened.

Chandler (15:08)

Dad is a funny one to be at meals with. Like, many times he will break into when we're having a full conversation, he'll just interrupt it with something completely off topic. Like he's not even listening to what we're talking about. It's just like he's ready to talk about, like, the latest orange theory, splash plot point challenge he's doing. And you're just like, wait, dad, like, we were just talking about what we're read.

Lauren (15:30)

Yeah, he needs to learn the art of a segue. We should find him a book or something. But yeah, like, he. He also is a little bit particular about cuisines. Like, mom is pretty open. Mom will eat, like, you know, a lot of things, but dad actually only wants to eat, like steak, fish, burgers. So, like, dad only wants, like, modern American food because, like, there's the other sushi happening. So no sushi happening. No Thai, no Japanese. Like, no Indian. Like, nothing. The problem is that, like, I want to show them New York and I want them to enjoy all the delicious food. So we. The first night they're there, we go to this, like, random Italian place and that dad, like, found. So we go there and then apparently the next morning he dragged mom back to that same place again. Like a very just like medium good Italian place.

Chandler (16:24)

Okay.

Lauren (16:24)

And I'm like, you're literally in New York City and you're gonna go eat at the same medium good place twice in a row. That's like, honestly not that good. It was fine that if you're listening, it was like, it was totally fine, but I was just. It was just hilarious. So then, like, I have to call around and see what places will like, take us and their outdoor seating. And some places, like, require proof of vaccination even to sit outdoors because they're.

Chandler (16:45)

Kind of like indoor, outdoor logistical burden on you.

Lauren (16:48)

Yeah, it was just. I just. I told them. And so anyways, the trauma is that because we live so far away now, I'm worried that if they don't have a good time on this trip, that they won't come back to visit me, which is like my own thing that I'm worried about. So I just said to them finally yesterday, I was like, please promise me you'll come back in the spring when we. It's a little bit more enjoyable to Eat outside. And when I, you know, when I'm like not having to go to work, when I'm just like a little bit more in the headspace to like host. I think hosting is also just like so hard. But they were gonna stay in Times Square at the Marriott in Times Square and I was just like, absolutely not. I will not be trekking down to literally the armpit of New York every single day. Right? So luckily I convince them to get like a hotel that's like near the bottom of Central park so it's like closer to me.

Chandler (17:30)

Anyways, okay, Chandler, I was filming a little vlog the other day trying to get into vlogging and it was just funny because. Do you want to know what was sitting right beside my bathtub when I was sharing my kind of get ready with me moment?

Sponsor/Ad Voice (17:46)

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Chandler (17:53)

It was yesterday's clear protein. Okay, sitting next to the bathtub that I did enjoy in the bath.

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Chandler (17:59)

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Chandler (18:37)

You guys go to clean simpletes.com use code popapologist20 for 20% off your order. That's clean simpletes.com code popapologist20.

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Lauren (21:00)

Okay, last, last little story. Mom just is like she's actually been, she's been so great, but she had a few little New York microaggressions the first day she got here. Okay, okay, so we're just like walking down. She, she like insisted that we go like near Times Square in the middle of the pandemic on New Year's Eve because she was like, just wanted to be in the, in the area. So we had like just gotten off the plane. She's like let's go down there. So we like drop our stuff at the hotel and she's, we're like walking down, you know, eighth or whatever and it's probably like a 10 block walk. And while as we're walking down, she's just like, so do you feel safe here?

Chandler (21:40)

Some people say it'd be in a port in Puerto Rico. Anyway. Go ahead.

Lauren (21:43)

No, but it's like. But it is, like, a little. And it's so honest. I know it's coming from a good place, but I'm like, yeah, I totally. I'm like, I feel safer here than I felt in San Francisco, you know, I feel like there's always people around. Yada, yada, yada.

Chandler (21:53)

Right?

Lauren (21:53)

That was funny. And then she goes, just totally sincere, sweet. She goes, hey, are the trash people on strike?

Chandler (22:01)

Oh, my God.

Lauren (22:06)

I'm like, no, it's just always like this. Like, there's just always garbage bags, like, everywhere on the side.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (22:12)

Right.

Lauren (22:15)

So then also, mom got approached by, like, several men while we were walking.

Chandler (22:20)

But, like, approached, like, in what way?

Lauren (22:23)

Like, approached.

Chandler (22:24)

No.

Lauren (22:25)

Yeah. So, well, like, one guy was like, halo, Mama. And then, like, to Mama, she was, like, walking, and she's like, hey. And then. That's the best part. Mom's like, mom, like, engages, so. And then, like, as we're leaving Shake Shack that night, Mom's like, this guy's like, hey, what are you getting into later tonight? And I'm just like. I then immediately just, like, walk, like, 10 paces ahead. I'm like, I can't do this right now. I don't want to do this. But she's like, what are you getting into later tonight, New Year's Eve?

Chandler (22:59)

Oh, my gosh.

Lauren (23:00)

Mom's like, I don't know. She's like. She's so cute, and I can tell she's kind of messing with him, but, like. But also sincere. She's like, I don't know. Probably reading my scriptures and saying some prayers. Oh, my God.

Chandler (23:13)

Wait. She is so cute.

Lauren (23:15)

I know, I know, but. And then she just, like, walked for, like, several blocks with him, talking to him. Yes. Yeah. Dad just, like, doesn't care at all.

Chandler (23:24)

Oh, no, Mom. Okay, one thing I will say about mom, mom is 60, like, very. Looks really good.

Lauren (23:32)

Yeah, she looks amazing. And also, she's just, like, so. She's so energetic. Like, the energy that mom has is, like, really amazing to me. Even, like, when we've just, like, spent some days together, I'm just like. I think I just kind of want to, like. Like, I just don't want to talk or I'm. I feel like the lame one. And Mom's just like. Like, I don't know. I don't know where she gets it, but I, like, I love.

Chandler (23:54)

She's very dazzling. And, like, she has this, like, charm that, like, for you and me, if we're in public, if we're dealing with, like, you know, retail employees, I think we're polite and nice, but we're not, like, ready to turn charm, like, get some joke. Like, we're ready to get our stuff done and talk to as few people as possible. Mom's the opposite. She's like, oh, yeah, let me walk with you for a few blocks. You guys sexually. Sexually harassing me.

Lauren (24:21)

Totally.

Chandler (24:22)

Let's get to know each other. Maybe tell you about a wonderful book called the Book of Mormon.

Lauren (24:27)

It's like, it's. It's insane to me.

Chandler (24:29)

She's not jaded.

Lauren (24:30)

She's not jaded, exactly. She's not jaded. And she's just, like, happy to be a person in the world, you know, just, like, chatting with different people. She's never, like. I guess she never seems exhausted by it. Right.

Chandler (24:41)

Right.

Lauren (24:41)

Anyways, it's been very fun to have them, and they have promised to come back. And every time I've been like, are you hating it? Are you still miserable? She's like, no, I'm having a fabulous time. She, like, you know, went and walked around the Nordstrom yesterday, got some shopping in, so it's all good.

Chandler (24:55)

Well, this is a sidebar, but really the only thing that our family truly likes to do on vacations. Go out to eat. Yeah. Like, so I think we should do, like, a New York. We should do a spring New York trip as a family every year.

Lauren (25:09)

I think that would be amazing.

Chandler (25:10)

We can all get ourselves there easily. Right. Hotels are not that expensive.

Lauren (25:15)

Any mom and dad booked theirs with points this time around.

Chandler (25:18)

And then the best part is, like, we can just do what we like to do and go to great restaurants.

Lauren (25:22)

Right.

Chandler (25:23)

And also shop and have fun.

Lauren (25:25)

Okay, so I need to talk to you about Yellowstone, Lauren.

Chandler (25:30)

Yes. Okay. Moving on from mom and dad.

Lauren (25:31)

Moving on. My. As you know, I've been watching Yellowstone for the past couple of months. I've been telling you I think you should watch it.

Chandler (25:38)

Right.

Lauren (25:39)

Ben and I, like, caught up through all the seasons, and now we're, like, you know, caught up to the rest of the world. And the finale was last night. All right. And I have some, like, gathered thoughts on the television program now. Okay.

Chandler (25:49)

Okay.

Lauren (25:50)

First of all, I want you to know that this is the most watched show on television. I spoke to somebody high up at this. Yes, yes. I spoke to somebody high up at Disney. Okay. High up. His name is Joe Peacock. And anyways, he let me in on a little secret, and that is that if it's not the most. He said. I think he said it was the most watched show on television or he said it was one of the most. It's very, very popular. Okay.

Chandler (26:13)

Okay.

Lauren (26:14)

And I like it. I really like it.

Chandler (26:17)

I think we all got that message.

Lauren (26:19)

Okay, continue. I like Kevin Costner. I think he's kind of sexy. I like watching stunning landscape scenes of, you know, sun kissed mountains. It's actually filmed a little bit in Utah, but it's supposed to be Montana. I also, you know, admittedly on this podcast, I've talked about this. I like cowboys. You and I both have an affinity for a man of the land. Impeccably. Dawn and Carhartt.

Chandler (26:38)

Correct.

Lauren (26:39)

But this show is making me lose my fantasy.

Chandler (26:44)

Why don't do this to me.

Lauren (26:47)

I know, I don't. I don't want to do this to you, but I think it's maybe a critical part of me growing up right now. No, I'm growing up right on this podcast.

Chandler (26:56)

Do not do this. Because the archetype of like the stable cowboy. So like man of the land husband.

Lauren (27:03)

Let me tell you why. Let me tell you why.

Chandler (27:04)

Okay?

Lauren (27:05)

Because while it is a good show, it's also just pretty bad. Like, the writing is just so bad. And some of the writing is good. But. But like, I would say 60% of it is like pretty cheesy. For example, last night, like, there's so much.

Chandler (27:20)

60%.

Lauren (27:21)

60%.

Chandler (27:22)

You're shilling a show to our audience that is 60% cheesy.

Lauren (27:26)

Yes, yes. Because I still think it's still worth it. And also, like, I'm so desperate for TV that like, that's like a drama. Like, I'll, I'll basically take anything. Okay. There's so much like hammed up cowboy talk that sometimes, like, I literally have to cover my eyes because I'm cringing so much like last night's episode, the finale of season four. Okay, this, this show is just only gained in popularity. The finale, one of the cowboys leaves the Dutton ranch. And as he's like saying his goodbyes, literally the final line that some writer cooked up was, cowboys don't say goodbye. They say, see you later.

Chandler (28:01)

Wait, is this. Who says this? Like the narrator?

Lauren (28:04)

No, one of the other cowboys. To the cowboy who's leaving the Dutton.

Chandler (28:06)

Ranch, he references, like, in a very meta way. Cowboys don't say goodbye. They say, see you later.

Lauren (28:12)

Yes, yes, that's the line. And that, like, passed through screenwriters and like, yeah, Right. Like, so cringy. Ben was just like. Ben honestly wanted to, like, pause it and just, like, take a minute to digest how terrible that line was.

Chandler (28:25)

Right.

Lauren (28:26)

And I'm just like, this is the best we can do. Like, I. This is literally the most watched show on television, and that's what they're writing. Okay. So that's, like, one element to it. The other issue that I struggle with is about every other episode. There's extensive scenes of farmer core. Okay. Where.

Chandler (28:41)

Okay, that sounds hot to me.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (28:43)

This.

Lauren (28:44)

That's what you think? You think farmer core sounds hot? It's not. It's like farmers doing their hobbies. Okay. Which is not hot. I realize I don't want to see a farmer doing their hobbies because it's like, no. Like, 10 minutes. 10 to 15 minutes of. Of rodeo watching. Like, watching a horse chase a cow. Herbal. And it's like, extent. Like, they're. They're like long scenes because they, like. The show is for people who like, like watching that stuff or I find it, you know, beautiful. They like watching a horse do tricks. Trucks and trailers.

Chandler (29:13)

Oh, no.

Lauren (29:14)

And it's usually accompanied by a country music song like this. I'm gonna play it.

Chandler (29:18)

Oh, my gosh. Okay.

Lauren (29:19)

Okay, Lauren. This is the song that's accompanying this. The scenes of farmer core. Rodeo. Watching a horse chasing a cow or a bull or something. Rodeo. I'd be lying if I tried to tell you I don't think about you.

Chandler (29:41)

Wait.

Lauren (29:41)

Singing to the rodeo.

Chandler (29:54)

This could have been an amazing song. Step is about a rod. Hey, please turn it off. Please turn off. Let me turn off.

Lauren (30:00)

Okay.

Chandler (30:01)

Honestly makes me angry. This honestly makes me angry because Timura's voice is stunning.

Lauren (30:07)

It's not Tim McGraw. It's not Tim McGraw. It says, look, it's a sound alike named Cody Johnson.

Chandler (30:13)

Okay, honestly, I will also say I.

Lauren (30:15)

Found this song to be kind of stirring in the moment. I actually.

Chandler (30:18)

For sure.

Lauren (30:20)

Right, right. I mean, it actually, it gets pretty good.

Chandler (30:22)

Talking about literally until he said, oh, rodeo.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (30:27)

It's.

Chandler (30:27)

It's called.

Lauren (30:27)

The song is called Dear Rodeo.

Chandler (30:29)

That's the problem. That's where the fantasy of the cowboy husband really breaks down.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (30:36)

Yes.

Chandler (30:37)

Okay. What you think the hobbies of a cowboy is. Is like riding a horse, let me tell you, 20 miles into the country, riding a river where they can read Tolstoy by. And then on the way home, chopping wood. So with which they will burn a fire and make love to you in front of, like.

Lauren (30:55)

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Chandler (30:57)

Country life. I Thought has in store.

Lauren (31:00)

No, see, what I'm getting on the show is not what I came here for.

Chandler (31:03)

And I think the show.

Lauren (31:05)

I think the show is showing me a little too much of the country lifestyle. I like.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (31:09)

I like.

Lauren (31:09)

You're saying I prefer my cowboys passionately in love, feeling the soil with their callous hands or thoughtfully looking up at the sky. I don't want to see cowboy hobbies, and I guess that's just too much to ask.

Chandler (31:22)

Honestly, it truly. It was just like when I flew to Virginia and saw the reality of Virginia. I won't tell that story again. I will save you one day. Maybe I'll retell it if people want me to. Chill. It's like no one wants you to.

Lauren (31:36)

I do not want to retell it. Retell it.

Chandler (31:39)

Maybe I'll tell it another time. Anyway. Yes, that's a dark moment when you realize that your agrarian man of the land fantasies are just that. Okay, should we move on, though, before we thoroughly depress our listeners?

Lauren (31:51)

Yes, let's move on before they think this is another Songs that Stir us episode.

Chandler (31:55)

Yes. This is not. No need to trigger anyone's ptsd. Okay. I want to talk to you this week about David Foster's Instagram post about Katherine McPhee. Okay, so David Foster posted a picture of Catherine McPhee looking extremely svelte, like, hip bones jutting out. Yeah. In a bikini, stomach. Not a. Not a stretch mark. Within sight.

Lauren (32:21)

Yeah.

Chandler (32:22)

Just looking very thin.

Lauren (32:24)

Yeah.

Chandler (32:24)

And the caption is, of course, a music emoji, which is so weird.

Lauren (32:31)

Excuse my friend. Just so weird.

Chandler (32:33)

It's like he has to remind you that he's a music producer.

Lauren (32:36)

Yeah.

Chandler (32:37)

Like, with every single caption. And it's like, we all know I want to.

Lauren (32:42)

I want to crucify this man. I hate this man. Okay, but the.

Chandler (32:45)

So this is the caption. He writes music emoji. That's totally irrelevant. Then what, baby? Exclamation point. All right, I would love to talk to you about this because it sent everyone into an uproar there. This went viral. People were really pissed. And I want your thoughts.

Lauren (33:05)

Well, I want. I want your thoughts first.

Chandler (33:07)

Okay. Okay, Here are my thoughts. I think it's fine to post thirst traps of your partner. In fact, I personally think that's one of the failings in my current relationship. Megan has never posted a thirst trap.

Lauren (33:21)

Right.

Chandler (33:21)

One time I was gonna say the same thing. I threw myself into bikini in Mexico, like, to him, and he literally asked me. He's like, do you send me those? Because you want me to post them? And of course I did, but I was like, no, no, definitely not. And that was when I learned that he would never post them. My thirst traps. I would have to post them.

Lauren (33:39)

Yeah, whatever.

Chandler (33:41)

Okay. I guess Catherine McPhee's relationship doesn't suffer from the same failing. But here's what I don't like about this.

Lauren (33:50)

Yeah.

Chandler (33:50)

Now that I've said. Got that out of the way.

Lauren (33:52)

Yeah.

Chandler (33:53)

The problem with this, and I think the reason why everyone is valid in finding this to be a. No. In finding this post to be. I don't want to use the term problematic because it's one of my least favorite words of all time.

Lauren (34:09)

What about triggering or gaslighting? Some other great terms.

Chandler (34:14)

Here's what I think it is.

Lauren (34:15)

Yeah.

Chandler (34:16)

Because I do think Katherine McPhee posted, like, her own rebuttal to everyone's criticisms and told everyone to basically F off.

Lauren (34:24)

Yeah.

Chandler (34:24)

Her husband loves her in her body, and everyone just needs to chill out and who cares? Which I actually did think was a little bit gaslighty. Yeah. Because this is what the message of this picture.

Lauren (34:34)

Yeah. I've got many thoughts.

Chandler (34:36)

The part about it that's gross, and I think that's. That truly is not cool is the what baby? Caption. Because what it is, is saying is what I want to celebrate is the fact that my wife looks like she never had a kid.

Lauren (34:49)

Yeah.

Chandler (34:50)

Like, the goal of every woman. And then what we should celebrate is having no mark of ever having actually been pregnant. Not only do women have to bear the burden of continuing the human race, but then we need to bear no mark that we ever actually did that. And that, I think, is what is so incredibly right. Just frankly damaging and not a cool message to push out, especially by a dude who's just, like, seriously, of the boomer, patriarchal, gross generation.

Lauren (35:22)

A dude who's fathered, like, 18 kids. Right, right, exactly.

Chandler (35:27)

Lauren, in her book said that she liked her very thin.

Lauren (35:31)

Like, David likes me very skinny. Yeah, Lauren, I totally agree. I totally agree. I think there's nothing wrong with posting a hot picture of your spouse, of your person. Whatever. The caption is so gross. He has so many children that he's fathered. He's also just like. The problem is that he is just kind of a gross guy. He does not strike me as someone who has, like, you know, a lot of, like, love and endearment for, like, women who have, like, born his children, because he clearly leaves them the minute that they, you know, diminish in any way to him. And it's just super gross. And I think the other issue with this post, and I think Catherine's rebuttal is that she's talked openly about having an eating disorder.

Chandler (36:17)

Right.

Lauren (36:17)

And struggling in that way. And her fans know that. And that's what I saw a lot in the comments was like her fans saying, hey, you've talked about this before. And that's. This just really pushes like a super negative message onto women. Like, if you're. That you are someone who struggled with this before, but that you have clearly no problem with, with perpetuating this idea that women are expected to literally bounce back from having a baby to perfection.

Chandler (36:39)

Right.

Lauren (36:40)

You know, and, and it's just like, I don't know, he's just, he's not a family man. And there's nothing I like more than a family man. And he's just like, super gross.

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Chandler (36:51)

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Lauren (36:59)

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Chandler (37:35)

Literally. Kagan many times will be like, where are the gummies?

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Lauren (39:37)

Watches are so good.

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Chandler (39:59)

Okay, another thing that we should just continue Man Hating Steve Lodge's engagement. So I want to touch on this briefly. Steve Lodge was dating Vicki Gumbelson I think for four years. They broke up and within three or four months he is now engaged to a 37 year old. He is 63. She's an elementary school teacher and he posted or he gave a statement to people. He gave a statement to people that said I did ask Janice, his new girlfriend on December 20th if she would become Mrs. Steve Chavez Lodge and she happily agreed. Where did the self esteem go for modern women?

Lauren (40:41)

I don't know. Like I don't know. Orange county is like a different beach.

Chandler (40:45)

Is either rich or attractive. Either. It doesn't make any sense. This one doesn't. Like, my brain cannot compute. No, no.

Lauren (40:52)

I mean, it's disgusting. I like, this man is so depressing. I mean, he. Along like Harry Dubin, Tom d' Agostino or whatever. Like, they're all just so gross. Tom Luann's ex is also re. Engaged. He also got engaged on. On New Year's Eve. And Bravo historian anniversary of their wedding. Yeah. And Bravo Storian was like, wow, this man really loves New Year's Eve.

Chandler (41:18)

Oh, my gosh.

Lauren (41:19)

They're just like, all these men are so gross.

Chandler (41:21)

Honestly, my favorite part of the Steve Lodge engagement is him asking Janice if she would, like, become. If she would become Mrs. Steve Chavez Lodge. Like, can you imagine if when Kagan proposed to me, he said, will you become Mrs. Kagan James Atkinson? It's like, what?

Lauren (41:39)

Well, you just become another part of my identity.

Chandler (41:42)

It's just the most narcissistic way to propose to someone or to issue a statement about that.

Lauren (41:47)

Yeah, yeah.

Chandler (41:48)

Nothing to do basically with her.

Lauren (41:50)

Yeah, yeah.

Chandler (41:51)

Anyway, this is another divorce that is pending before they get married.

Lauren (41:55)

Okay. Okay, what's next? Should we talk about our resolutions?

Chandler (42:00)

Oh, yeah.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (42:00)

Okay.

Chandler (42:01)

So, Chan, it is a new year. Let's talk about our resolutions. I'm very interested to hear yours. Go.

Lauren (42:09)

I. I honestly only. I only have one that I'm pretty serious about. All the other ones are kind of half hearted, you know, they're the classic ones. Spend more money, more, intentionally read all the books that I haven't read in.

Chandler (42:20)

My bookshelf, stop being a collector and be a reader.

Lauren (42:23)

Right, exactly. Okay, that was really rude, but basically.

Chandler (42:30)

That was like a general. Or even toward myself.

Lauren (42:33)

No, it's fair. It's true. I. I've realized that I have this one pain point of my life. You know, I don't have a lot of pain points, thankfully, but I do have one, and that is the Sunday scaries. I don't know if it's PTSD from my job or if it's just being a millennial, but, like, you know, basically a quarter of my weekend is usually ruined by the dread of for Monday. Okay. Right. I love my job. I feel extremely grateful for it. Yada, yada, yada. That being said, no matter what, I'm like, never ready for Monday. And this, like, is literally, like, takes a toll on my whole weekend because I never make plans for Sunday night because I know I'm going to be kind of moody and so I just, like, try to do everything in my power. Like, I just. I say no to everything because I just want to be, like, at home, nesting, essentially, like, emotionally preparing myself.

Chandler (43:24)

Is that really what it is? Like, are you just trying to get ready for the week ahead? So, like, you have laundry done and you're organized, and it doesn't feel like it's like that, just meditating for four hours?

Lauren (43:35)

No, it's like that. Like, I think, like, for me, if I have an organized space, I feel it's like a mood enhancer. For me, if I. If my space is organized and my apartment is clean and I have, like, done all the. All my tasks and checked off all my silly little boxes. And so, like, like, that's one easy way for me to, like, boost my mood. So, like, that's what I try to spend that time doing, but it's just not enough. It's not working. Because, like, you know, basically Yesterday, starting at 1pm I was just like, I want to be at home. Like, I don't want to be doing anything else. And so anyways, I got to figure out, like, a new ritual or something. I need to either, like, start doing drugs or, I don't know, find. Find some new way to make this, like, millennial problem more manageable. That's what I really want.

Chandler (44:19)

I have no. I don't know how to help you here on that one.

Lauren (44:22)

Oh, great.

Chandler (44:23)

Never. Sorry. I've never. Even when I've had jobs that I haven't enjoyed, I don't feel like I've. Maybe I just. Maybe it's just been so long. I don't know.

Lauren (44:32)

I don't even. Fresh homemade cookies never gave you this?

Chandler (44:36)

No, I've never experienced this before. I hope this is something you can work through, especially because you like your job now and.

Lauren (44:43)

Right. I just don't like working. Yeah, that's the issue. I think the problem is, like, no matter what a job is, like, my time is no longer my own. Right. It's like, now there's demands on my time, and that is just really, like, something I do not look forward to. And I think this weekend was especially bad because it was coming off of, like, a very long break, but.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (45:04)

Right.

Lauren (45:04)

I need to, like, either go to, like, a workout class or, like I said, take drugs or something because it's not working.

Chandler (45:13)

I tried to come up with resignations, you guys, because last year we did New Year's resignations, which was basically, like, instead of resolutions, it was giving up on all your hopes and dreams and accepting the person you'd become.

Lauren (45:24)

Yep.

Chandler (45:25)

But I realized that I gave up on everything last year. There wasn't much left to resign myself to. So anyway, my resolution this year, my primary one, is to go all in on work.

Lauren (45:37)

Okay.

Chandler (45:38)

It's to really, really dive into working, travel less, for sure. And to really devote myself to my pop apologist and my other business and really turbocharged both of them. So hopefully that is something that, you know, results in a lot more Instagram activity for everyone, a lot more content that you guys really enjoy.

Lauren (45:59)

I cannot wait to see you double down.

Chandler (46:02)

So that brings me to my other resolution, Chandler, which is I am also not only doubling down on work, but I'm doubling down on work in the home. I think that I moved to Puerto Rico and I went from really being a very much like a caretaking partner. I used to cook dinner all the time. Really nurture, very nurturing in that way. I loved it. And then I moved to pr, and for some reason, I think I just. I couldn't do any sort of, like, hellofresh system I had.

Lauren (46:28)

Yeah.

Chandler (46:29)

Instacart doesn't exist here. I don't have a car. And it just kind of fell off the face of the earth.

Lauren (46:33)

Yeah.

Chandler (46:34)

In terms of that, I stopped cooking. And I really want to cook again.

Lauren (46:38)

I want you to cook again.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (46:40)

I love it.

Chandler (46:40)

I love doing it. And anyways, thank you. So that is my New Year's resolution. I did begin work on this resolution yesterday. And can I tell you how that went?

Lauren (46:51)

Yes.

Chandler (46:52)

Tell me how.

Lauren (46:52)

How's your first day going?

Chandler (46:55)

Okay. So yesterday I compiled my long list of groceries from four different recipes. I looked through my home to see what I had. I was very organized, and I went to the local grocery store. They had about 60% of the ingredients I needed. So I walked home with all those groceries and I put them away. And then I ubered to a further away grocery store which had, I would say, another 20% of the groceries I needed.

Lauren (47:26)

Okay. Okay.

Chandler (47:27)

So then I walked to another grocery store that was. And they had maybe a few more. Anyway, I went to five different grocery stores, probably walked an hour around San Juan to procure all the different ingredients I needed for the four meals I'm planning on making this week. I get to my final grocery store, finally have everything or. Or adequate substitutes. Yeah, thereof.

Lauren (47:54)

Yeah.

Chandler (47:56)

And I'm leaving the store.

Lauren (47:57)

And how many hours into this journey are you?

Chandler (48:00)

First of all, let me say it's an 80 degrees in Puerto Rico. It's hot, I'm sweating. It's Just, it's gross walking around. And I'm probably a good four hours into this journey. Several Uber car rides.

Lauren (48:13)

Yeah, yeah.

Chandler (48:14)

I'm also $300 into groceries.

Lauren (48:17)

Yeah. Okay.

Chandler (48:19)

When you're first starting out, and I'm hoping that it gets a lot cheaper. But you got to buy. You got to buy.

Lauren (48:24)

Right?

Chandler (48:25)

Every single, you know, herb that's needed. But you got to buy everything new.

Lauren (48:29)

Right.

Chandler (48:30)

So a lot of staples I didn't have, so that's probably why it was so expensive. Anyway, about my final grocery store. I have my final bag of groceries. It's a brown paper bag. I decided to of just pile in my new ingredients on top of the ingredients from the last, like, store I went to because I didn't want to have, like, another shopping bag.

Lauren (48:48)

Yeah, yeah.

Chandler (48:50)

So I go outside. I called my Uber home, and the Uber driver cannot find me.

Lauren (48:57)

Okay.

Chandler (48:58)

So I'm, like, walking around the parking lot frantically so he doesn't leave frantically looking for the gray Toyota Yaris. I find it.

Lauren (49:05)

Yeah.

Chandler (49:06)

I, like, dash toward it. And at that very moment, the bottom of my paper brown grocery bag splits open and the artisan 26.99 olive oil I have procured crashes to the cement or the asphalt and breaks all over everything.

Lauren (49:27)

Oh, sis.

Chandler (49:28)

I'm in front of his car at this point, and I have my AirPods in because I was listening to a podcast, so.

Lauren (49:34)

And then I.

Chandler (49:34)

And one of my AirPods falls out, goes underneath his car. So I scramble. I got all the groceries kind of like in my arms, and I, you know, open the door to his car. I put them on the floor of his car. And then, mind you, the olive oil bottle and jarring broken glass is also in front of his car. Yeah.

Lauren (49:54)

So wait, are you. Are you cleaning this up at this point or what?

Chandler (49:57)

So I'm like. And my AirPod is underneath his car. So I'm like, hey, can you drive like 10ft so that I can get my AirPod? Meanwhile, there's also traffic. Yeah, like, I'm, like, causing congestion.

Lauren (50:10)

Right, right, right.

Chandler (50:13)

So he only speaks Spanish. Yeah. So now I'm, like, gesticulating with my body, like, okay, go this way. I need, you know. And I, like, hold up my other AirPod. I need to get. Find my whatever. He kind of gets the point. Picture. He backs up.

Lauren (50:28)

He gets the picture.

Chandler (50:32)

I proceed to walk in front of his car. I got my AirPod. I walk back, and I fully slip in.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (50:41)

No.

Chandler (50:44)

And crash to the asphalt, skin both my knees and rip knee holes in my new Lululemon. Pants.

Lauren (50:52)

I don't even think you could rip Lululemon's. You're kidding.

Chandler (50:56)

Yeah, well, they will rip if you. If you. Yes, I ate it. Meanwhile, I had.

Lauren (51:04)

Yeah.

Chandler (51:04)

So anyway, I ate it on the asphalt. My hands are, like, scraped up is a total nightmare.

Lauren (51:11)

Is he helpful or what? What's his mode right now?

Chandler (51:14)

He's just like this nice Puerto Rican man who only speaks Spanish, who has no idea what he signed up for. Like, hapless white lady is like, right. You know, on the floor probably in front of him. He's just.

Lauren (51:27)

Yeah.

Chandler (51:28)

Has no clue what he signed up for.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (51:29)

Right.

Chandler (51:29)

Anyway, so I am just like a wreck. So I get up, I like, I try to get as much of the olive oil bottle, glass, like, picked up as possible.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (51:41)

Yeah.

Chandler (51:41)

Take it to the nearby trash can. There's still traffic congestion.

Lauren (51:44)

Yeah.

Chandler (51:45)

I'm covered in olive oil. My knees are bleeding. And I get into his vehicle. I get home, he drives me back home. I get up, you know, I. I take all the loose ingredients. Here's my question. Are you having blood covered?

Lauren (52:01)

Are you presenting Kagan at any point? Are you like, screw you, Kagan, for making me want to be a wonderful homemaker for you? I did this for you. Like, at this point, I feel like I'd. I'd start. I'd be so frustrated with my day that I would just. I would start to then project that frustration onto the people I love in my life.

Chandler (52:19)

No, honestly, the opposite. I'm just filled with self loathing. Like, I just put myself, like, I'm like, why are you so incompetent? Why is cooking, which is just part of life, so difficult? Why is it so difficult for you? Why is it so expensive? Why can't you just. Why is this so hard? Why does life seem so hard? You know, mean, like, it's just like.

Lauren (52:42)

Yeah.

Chandler (52:43)

You'd have total flexibility in your time.

Lauren (52:45)

Right.

Chandler (52:46)

You should be able to. No excuse cooking a meal every day and keeping a tidy home. Right. What is your problem? You know, why do you come home covered in blood and oil? It's done.

Lauren (52:58)

Also, are these the little lemons you just recently got with your money?

Chandler (53:01)

Brand new ones?

Lauren (53:02)

Yeah.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (53:03)

Yeah.

Chandler (53:04)

So I get home and I realize when I've gotten home, as I've, you know, all the loose ingredients, I finally got them on the counter that I must have set down my other airpod on top of his car when I looked for the fully. I'm out. An airpod.

Lauren (53:20)

No.

Chandler (53:20)

This has turned into now a 500. Right?

Lauren (53:23)

Yeah. Grocery experience.

Chandler (53:25)

That I'm gonna be physically scarred.

Lauren (53:27)

Yeah. Yeah.

Chandler (53:29)

Additionally.

Lauren (53:31)

Yeah.

Chandler (53:31)

You're maim. Yes. So let me fast forward you to the evening portion. Mm. So I dutifully go to make the meal. I'm making a creamy sun dried tomato chicken pasta for dinner.

Lauren (53:45)

Oh, that sounds so good.

Chandler (53:46)

And I realized that I simply just don't have the cooking apparatus to execute the meal as planned.

Lauren (53:53)

Okay.

Chandler (53:54)

I don't have a large, like, skillet, like a large home skillet. I have one, like kind of standard, probably 8 inch cooking pan.

Lauren (54:01)

Yeah.

Chandler (54:02)

And like a small soup pan. That's it. That's all that came with this apartment.

Lauren (54:07)

Yeah.

Chandler (54:07)

I just don't have anything. I had bought pans, but they just aren't here yet.

Lauren (54:11)

Yeah. Okay.

Chandler (54:12)

I'm very serious about this new goal. So I'm like, whatever. I'm going to have to now split this. I'm going to have to finagle this recipe so that this works in these two pans.

Lauren (54:20)

Yeah, yeah.

Chandler (54:23)

Cooking pasta in a frying pan is not advised. If liquid cannot fully cover your pasta, I don't recommend it. It was just. It was such chaos. It like almost caused a fire. Like, so stressful. My kitchen was a complete disaster. Kagan was like starving and kept coming up and being like, like, is it almost ready? I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry.

Lauren (54:47)

Shut up.

Chandler (54:48)

Great. Like, I'm about to start a fire. Like, this isn't even working. Anyway, he had the great idea to put lids on the pans to use the steam to fully cook the noodles.

Lauren (54:58)

Yeah.

Chandler (54:59)

Actually end up working finally.

Lauren (55:01)

That's good. Good for somebody.

Chandler (55:03)

Anyway, it ended up being a delicious meal, I will say, like a truly fabulous recipe that I'm going to send to you because it's really, I think if you have the proper apparatus and easy recipe and very good.

Lauren (55:14)

Yeah.

Chandler (55:17)

And I will say this story ends well because, like, we, like, you get lucky moment. We had this. We just had like the sweetest moment, really. And he loved the food and. And it really was like a moment of connection for us, like inter. He was just so cute with me afterwards. And his love language is acts of service. I could tell he felt very, like, taken care of.

Lauren (55:43)

Yeah.

Chandler (55:44)

And it was like, okay, this wasn't necessarily worth it, but this was a good experience. This part was a good experience. So anyway.

Lauren (55:55)

That makes me so happy. I'm glad it all ended well because that. That's truly awful. And I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy because that sounds so terrible.

Chandler (56:03)

Yeah. It was a very Expensive day. It was a very expensive day. I don't know how people. I don't know how people do it. I guess Instacart and just being rich.

Lauren (56:11)

Is how people do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't. It's just. It's such a task. Like, I. I had this, like, grand idea. Oh, I'm gonna, like, make a delicious dinner this week. And I'm just like, you know, screw it. You can have ground turkey and some tortilla chips.

Chandler (56:26)

I honestly feel like you're either making like, the Costco bulk, like, polygamous family cheap, gross meals.

Lauren (56:34)

Yeah.

Chandler (56:34)

No offense to any polygamous listeners, but the meals you see them make on, like, sister wives.

Lauren (56:39)

Yeah. Or can you imagine that cooking for, like, a family, too?

Sponsor/Ad Voice (56:42)

Yeah.

Chandler (56:43)

Or you're making, like, actually good food and it's really expensive.

Lauren (56:47)

It's super expensive. And it's also also just like. I mean, I. My kitchen is non existent. It's essentially a bathroom kitchen. And so it's just like. It's so annoying to cook too, because there's, like, no counter space. Right. It doesn't make. Honestly, you have a beautiful kitchen where you can kind of like, spread out your stuff and your ingredients and, like, really enjoy it. But, like, cooking a big meal at my place is actually. It's like, okay, well, I need. I need to just start this meal six hours before so that I can, like, use the counter space for different tasks, like, separately. And, like, I need to prep ingredients hours before because I can't prep them all at the same time because they don't have the counter space for that.

Chandler (57:20)

Yeah, yeah.

Lauren (57:21)

It's not.

Chandler (57:22)

It's not a thing. It's not a thing. Yeah, you're not. This isn't a cooking phase of your life. This is no New York face of your life.

Lauren (57:28)

But also I. But then it's like. Then it's really expensive. So it's just. It all sucks, you know?

Chandler (57:32)

Life sucks, you guys. That's the theme of this episode, Right?

Lauren (57:37)

Literally.

Chandler (57:37)

All right.

Lauren (57:39)

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Lauren (59:43)

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