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Dr. Trish Leigh Podcast
Episode #196: Neuroscientist Explains Why You Can’t “Fix” Your Dopamine
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Most people think that they need more control. Neuroscience says they need more trust. Because what feels like discipline is often just dopamine dressed up as perfectionism. If you've ever tried to fix yourself like I have, more tracking, more hacks, more control, only to end up more anxious, then this episode is for you, my friend. Because when you live in a world that glorifies self improvement on steroids, it's easy to mistake control for healing. I'm Dr. Trish Leigh, cognitive neuroscientist, and your guide from hijacked to supernormal. Welcome back to another episode of the podcast, let's dive in. Now, what we're talking about here is a control loop. Unfortunately, when you constantly tweak, check and perfect, your dopamine system lights up. It's not from progress, but instead it's from anticipation. It's the illusion of control. Every micro fix gives you a micro hit of dopamine. Over time, your brain links safety with constant activity, not peace. So stillness feels unsafe. This is why so many people can't meditate, can't rest, can't stop doing, performing and optimizing. It's not laziness they fear, it's the withdrawal of stimulation. Now, this makes me think of the hubs. Dr. Cosmos Lee. He is the ultimate problem solver. If something breaks, he's got the toolbox out before I even finish this, the sentence. He's an ultimate cleaner, too. That's why I keep him around. He keeps things tidy. But sometimes I'll watch him take apart something that was never really broken. It was just squeaky. That's what your dopamine system can do to you. Sometimes it craves the next fix so badly that you start fixing things that aren't broken. And when you live in that loop, chasing the next tool, the next technique, the next quick fix, you're not rewiring. So here's a story is that when it comes to the dishwasher, this man wants the dishwasher unloaded the very moment it's done and wants it reloaded immediately. One dish in the sink will send this man over the edge. It doesn't make him mad, per se, but it definitely gives him some anxiety. And I said to him, nobody's going to die if there's a couple dishes in the sink. But he said, I might. That's literally what he said. And I thought to myself, he feels that. He feels that out of control. Couple dishes in the. In the sink. And I will tell you, since that conversation, tragically, the sink's been Filled with dishes on and off, just for a few minutes. Actually, it had dishes in it. The other day, one of the besties came over. Progress, right? Not perfection. But it's the illusion of control that makes him want to take that dish and get it in the dishwasher as fast as possible. When your brain stays in fix mode, the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala create a feedback loop. Control tension, temporary relief, control again. It's like trying to calm a shaking glass of water by gripping it tighter. The shaking only gets worse. Real change happens when you loosen the grip, when you relax the control. That way the glass will actually stop shaking. When you loosen your grip and you breathe and you allow the system to find its own equilibrium, that's regulation, not just repair. So for Halloween, I was Joan Baez to the Hubs's Bob Dylan because he's loving them these days. So it made me think of this analogy. You can think of your brain like a guitar. If you tighten the strings too much, you lose the harmony. You even risk snapping a string like I did. Loosen them into the right tension and you get resonance. That's the difference between self control and self coherence. Coherence is the gelling that we're looking for. So in sacred science, I think of it as be still. And no, it's stillness that creates this change. It's not the absence of progress, it's the state where progress becomes effortless. When your brain waves settle into coherence, dopamine stops hijacking your attention and it starts harmonizing with your purpose. That's the shift from control to to trust, from fixing to flow state. Flow state is the sweet spot where the magic happens. When you shift your nervous system from control mode dopamine driven micro fixes to coherence mode balanced sustained motivation. This is when you feel better and you perform better. So let me give you some supernormal brain hacks so you can do this. First of all, step number one, interrupt the control loop. So when you become aware of the cue that's making you feel like you need to control things, that's when you want to catch yourself from fixing. So if it's refreshing your inbox, or if you're adjusting your plan, or if you're checking your stats, pause for a few seconds, five seconds, and name what's really happening. My brain wants a dopamine hit. That's what's really happening. In real time, that simple label can move you from activity that is jacking up your limbic system. It's increasing the impulses to utilizing your prefrontal cortex. More awareness, more executive control. When you use your prefrontal cortex, you actually lower the tension in the system. When you give in to impulses, you're increasing that tension in your nervous system. That's why when I see the hubs, it makes me think, that's a lot of tension in the system. Not that I want a messy house, but I want peace. I want a chill nervous system. I prioritize the things that need to get done. And of course, the dishwasher is in there. It also reminds me of a funny story he literally told me the other day that he once vacuumed the whole house with. We have this hand vac. Actually, all the kids have one, because everybody likes being tidy. It's called a vac Life. We got it on Amazon. But he told me that he vacuumed the whole house with the vac life that he started with one piece of dirt. And he'll even say it out loud. I don't even know why I'm getting this piece of dirt right now. Because it's in the morning when we're chilling and having coffee. That's the control. That's the micro fix. It doesn't have to look like something monumental. It can be these small things where it's rest time. It's time for stillness for your brain, your body, and your mind. And. And instead, you see a piece of dirt and you have the impulse to go get it. This is what we're talking about. So from a neuroscience perspective, labeling it can reduce the impulse, and it can reduce your amygdala activation. This restores inhibitory control, meaning that you're using the anterior cingulate gyrus in your brain. That helps you to choose stillness over compulsion. Because ultimately, impulse control is about controlling impulses in the moment, which leads to more control of compulsion over time, which becomes the need to go do that thing. So here's the second thing that you can do, your second brain hack strategy. Breathe into the body. This is re anchoring safety in the moment coming out of your head, getting you into your body. Embodiment. Inhale slowly through your nose for four counts, then exhale through your mouth for six counts. This stimulates the vagus nerve, brings you into the parasympathetic branch of your autonomic nervous system. It brings down the impulse and the compulsion to control. So imagine that breath melting downward from your shoulders, your jaw into your belly, stabilizing. Now repeat it three times until you can feel gravity pulling you out of your head back into your body. Think embodiment. Now, the neuroscience note on this is that this extended exhale, like I already told you, it will reduce that fight or fix, drive from the sympathetic, stressed out version of your brain. And it will increase parasympathetic coherence, the biological signal of trust. Trust in yourself, trust in the divine plan, and trust that you can take a rest for a minute. Now step three is to replace fixing with flow. Move from effort to rhythm. What rhythm wants to emerge in your nervous system right now? Not what do I need to fix. So maybe it's standing up, stretching, going outside for a walk, getting in nature, simply sitting quiet in relaxed focus, parasympathetic, bringing all that energy down. Let your next action rise naturally, not reactively. When you do that, it's restoring the dopinergic balance, shifting dopamine from phasic spikes of anticipation to tonic steady levels of background motivation, the state associated with sustained focus, and you guessed it, creativity. That's thrival instead of survival. Now step four is to anchor the trust. Repeat a micro affirmation. I don't need to tighten, I need to tune. Feel your body soften as you say that. That's your brain moving from chaos to, to coherence, from hijacked to supernormal. Now, if you're along for the ride, here in November, where we celebrate, you know, no vice November, no numb November, no whatever compulsion you're pulled toward, November, this plays in so deeply because compulsions are the need to control. When you trust in universal design, especially when you're anchored into not only pragmatic hope, which means you're very hopeful of creating the life that you want to. But the pragmatic part is you're taking all the action steps to do. So every day I check in with myself and I make sure the things I'm doing today are they aligned with the life that I want to create for myself. Are my action steps aligned with my goals? Being here with you is. Is absolutely aligned. My goal is to have huge impact, to help people stop chasing the dopamine spikes and get back to living through passion and purpose. That comes in trusting the greater plan, not having to control every single step of it. So remember that the tighter the grip, the louder the noise, the softer the trust, the clearer the signal. Now, if you've been trying to, quote, unquote, fix your brain, chasing the perfect morning routine or another streak, remember this. What you're seeking isn't more control. You actually are looking for deeper connection. Connection to yourself to your people, to your purpose, your passion in the world. Your nervous system doesn't need another tool. It needs your trust. That's how healing happens. Not through force, but through rhythm. That, my friend, is how you become super normal. And guess what? It starts with a regulated nervous system. So if you want to see exactly how your control circuits are firing and how you can rewire them for clarity, calm, and authentic motivation, then please go over to Dr. Trishleigh.com, check out the page on brain mapping and my proprietary neurofeedback program where I help people see the dysfunction in their brain and then rewire their brains so that you're no longer fighting your brain functioning. It's working with you. It's flowing. It's not fixing. So go over to Dr. Trishley, check it out. If nothing else, you'll learn everything that you need to do to regulate your brain. Because peace isn't passive. It's incredibly powerful. It may even be your superpower. All right. Until next time. Remember, control your brain, or it will control you. I'll see you then.