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Dr. Trish Leigh Podcast
Episode #203: Why Your New Year’s Goals Fail — and How to Become Supernormal Instead
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Happy New Year. So the new year has hit and you have set all the goals that you want to accomplish. You want to make more money, you want to have a leaner body, you want to be a better lover, you want a better relationship, you want the moon. How are you going to get there? New Year's is the time to set those goals. But I also want you to know if you're caught up in the screen, namely explicit matter, which is the highest level supernormal stimulus or anything else on the continuum from only fans to dating apps to social media, especially hypersexualized, to TikTok, to long form video that you watch for six hours each day, even to your emails, your texts, and your Snapchat, the screen is miswiring your brain. The algorithm is engineered to make you fail. I'm Dr. Trish Lee. Welcome back to another episode of the podcast with me, your hostess with the mostess. Today we're going to break down what this New Year's goal hijack looks like, how it's happening, what it feels like to you. Number two, how it's miswiring your brain. And number three, my friend, how you're going to take the opportunity this year to action. Actually rewire your brain this time to the optimal brain pattern so that you can perform at peak performer levels. We're talking super normal performance. That's what we're after this year. So get a cup of coffee, buckle up, buttercup, because we're going for a ride. Let's start with the Hijack. So the Hijack probably feels pretty good to you or just feels like it's life. It's what everybody does. It goes like this. The Hijack New Year's Eve. You might be going out and celebrating with your besties like I am. I'm going to my bestie Chanel's house. She's having a favorite things party. I'm bringing my favorite thing, a transformational book that helps to inspire and empower people to change their lives. But that's an aside. Then what will happen is New Year's Day, after you're done celebrating the new year, you. You'll wake up probably later than usual because your routines are off. And what will you do? Think about it right now. What will you do? Will you reach over and grab your phone and check it first thing in the morning? Because if you do, I'm sorry to tell you, your brain has been hijacked. Or maybe it's not first thing in the morning. Maybe get up, you have a cup of coffee, then you go on Instagram. Or maybe you consume explicit matter, one of the highest level supernormal stimuli. Or maybe you get through half of the day, there's a new song out, I forget her name, but the song go basically says she's spending the whole day trying to be sober. So maybe you try to be sober January 1st, and by the evening you're hunkered down watching reels. This is the algorithm hijack. This is what I want you to know. You trained that algorithm. It's engineered to make you fail at your goals by giving your brain excessive dopamine, to make it feel better, to make it feel calm but stimulated at very high artificial levels, higher than you could be rewarded in the real world. So basically, every time you go back, you're inadvertently training your brain to self sabotage your goal achievement through the algorithm hijack, what I call being miswired by the algorithm. Because effectively, that hijack of whatever your screen time routine looks like, through consistency, frequency, duration and intensity, read explicit matter there, especially pornography proper, you're training it to serve you more of it. The more it serves, the more you're going to go back. It's in essence, a negative feedback loop. It is a downward spiral. There is no such thing as a horizontal spiral. There's only a downward spiral and an upward spiral. So you've probably spent the last couple weeks like me, with less of a routine, with more eating, with more drinking, with less sleeping, more celebrating, less working. I can't wait for January. So second right, is that you are training the algorithm to keep pulling you away from your real life. The way dopamine's supposed to work is it's supposed to not flood your system, but it's supposed to be released in your brain and your nervous system once you've put effort into achieving a goal. So it's the neurochemical of pursuit, it's the neurochemical of motivation and more. It's also the neurochemical of pleasure, but it's the pursuit of pleasure. So when the algorithm hijacks your brain, all the dopamine's in the screen. Not enough of the dopamine is in your life. That's the hijack. And it mis wires your brain. It creates what I call strained brain, a brain that's stressed out and exhausted simultaneously. Does that sound familiar? If you stay in that miswire loop for too long, your brain will tip into what I call drained brain. You will feel numb, you will feel unmotivated, you might feel depressed, you will struggle with sexual arousal dysfunction, and you Will be sad. That's the acronym for sexual arousal dysfunction that I've come up with. I don't want this to be a sad year for you. If last year was sad for you with ED or D E or PE even, this is your year, my friend. It doesn't have to take a lifetime to rewire your brain, but you have to start. You have to block that hijack, and you have to rewire this miswire. Your brain is miswired if you struggle with anxiety, exhaustion, brain fog, ADHD symptoms, or any type of sexual arousal dysfunction. It comes from a miswired brain. It's the only way it comes. An optimal brain doesn't feel stressed or anxious. It doesn't feel tired. It doesn't feel foggy. It feels clear. It feels focused. It feels on purpose. That's what I want for you this year. And your libido comes back, too. Bonus, right, my friend? Okay, so that's the miswire. What does the rewire look like? Well, the rewire looks like using three things. Your mind, which I have to remind you, is likely distorted because your mind is a product, a manifestation of the regulation in your brain. If your brain is dysregulated, strained brain, or drain brain, your mind doesn't think clearly. The more disregulated your brain, the more distorted a person's thinking can be. I talk to people all the time, and some of the things that people tell me, the, you know, kind of their view on the world or the things they think they quote, unquote, have to do. People say, they tell me all the time I had to do that. I'm like, no, you chose to do that. Don't get me wrong, you felt desperate, which comes from a dysregulated brain. But it was still a choice. So this is what we're talking about here. A very distorted mind makes it very difficult for you to rewire your brain using that distorted mind. But you can. And that's why I give you the brain hacks secondarily using your body. But again, your body is a tool of your brain performance. So it's going to perform to the level of regulation in your brain, which is why, if your brain's dysregulated, you struggle with sexual arousal dysfunction. So you can use your mind and your body to rewire your brain. You also can use your brain using technology. And that's what I help people do. And I want you to know if you've been stuck in any of these dysfunctional brain patterns for any amount of time and if you're caught in those screen behaviors that I've named, this is your year to break free. And it starts with a brain map. We have to see how your brain is performing. But the beauty is we get to do it together, me and you. So if you want to see how your brain is holding you back from your full potential and from achieving your goals, it's time to schedule a meeting with me. Go over to DrTrishleigh.com, check it out. There is an initial client consultation that you can sign up for. It's 15 minutes. We talk by phone. If you're ready to commit, you can sign up for your brain map right there on the website. Don't stay stuck in the hijack or the miswiring because what I can do is help you rewire your brain using technology. But here, of course, I'm going to give you a brain hack. The brain hack that I want to share with you today is the be do have. I've always loved this concept and I've got to tell you the truth. You ready for it? Hubs and I were watching the Bills game yesterday. They lost. That was tragic. And we ate chocolate, we had a cocktail. He ate chips. I did not. Anyways, that significantly disrupted our sleep and we were joking. We're like, we never do that. So we're. And it was early in the day too. The game was at 4:00'. Clock. But this is the thing, I'm like, oh my gosh. I said, I said it is just motivation moving into the new year. Because this is not a thing that we normally do, you know, you know, the eating, the drinking, the celebrating, not a thing we normally do. Absolutely disrupted our sleep. But I told him in the middle of the night, I was thinking about the be do have, which is you have to be the person that you want to be and you have to do the things that you need to do to have the life that you want. And you can reverse engineer it too. So it goes like this is that who do you have to be to have the life that you want now? Especially if you don't have the life that you want, you have to do new things and you have to become a better version of yourself. There are so many versions of you out there that you do not know yet. And all I want you to know is that if you're not the version of yourself that you want to be, it's there for the taking. You have to do new things and you at your core have to know the life that you want and go after it. Every year. I do this every year. I'm a new person. It's true. So, like, for example, if I say I want to be fit this year, I want to be more fit than I am. Declan and I have been talking about this a lot. He wants me to measure my food every single day. I'm like, dude, I don't know if I can hit the macros like you do. He's got the fanciest scales. He's like, ma, yeah, you can. So we came up with a strategy that I could use because I rush more than he does. He spends, like, an hour eating every time. I'm like, bro, I don't have four hours to eat each day. So we came up with a strategy. I won't bore you with the details, but the point is, if I have a goal of being more fit, I have to make sure I work out and I have to eat well. I actually eat poorly, and I'll tell you why. I don't eat for most of the day, which puts my body into starvation mode, which will pack some fat on, because your body's not sure when you when it's going to eat again. And then at dinner, I'll eat all the calories, fat, and protein for the day. But I will tell you, I already had chicken and. And quinoa today, so I'm ahead of the curve moving into the new year here. But so the idea is it's not about, like, you know, me eating more or less. It's making sure I eat balanced meals across the day. That's what I have to do if I want to have more muscle and have less fat. Fat. If I want to be well, and if I want to be the healthiest version of myself, I have to do new things, make sure I'm eating well across the day, make sure I'm not eating and drinking and celebrating football losses. It was slightly stressful game, and this way, I get to be the person that I want well by doing the things I have to, and I get to have the things that I want. So here's your brain hack for the day. It's be, do, have. Write three columns in your pleather journal. Be, do, and have. It's easiest to think of all the things that you want to have. You want to have more money, you want to have a hottie, a little honey, a baddie, as my sons say, on your arm. You want to have a big house, you want to travel more. Those are the halves. Now, who do you have to be to be able to get them. It's usually, you know, about in your core, creating that life, and I think this one's the most difficult. The hubs and I talked about this for a long time this morning. He thinks it's easy. Just decide who you want to be. I think reverse engineering it. These are the things you want to have. What do you have to do to get those things? So if you want more. For me, I always want financial peace. I want to never think about money. I don't need exponential amounts of it. But with being the mom of five children that I'm trying to grow into their best versions, I want to be able to financially support them while I'm teaching them financial literacy, which is a huge, important goal for me. So to be able to do that, I have to be organized. I have to conserve money. We've renamed the spending freeze. If you've listened to this podcast for any amount of time, you know that when I get stressed, I go on a spending freeze. I lock down spending. The kids will go, mom, I need a new toothbrush. I'm like, yeah, miss the window. We're on a spending freeze. I'm not doing that anymore. Now what I'm doing is we are on a resource conservation plan. Yes. That is using language in a healthy way. So if you want to have financial peace, or if you want to have more money, you need a resource conservation plan like the one I've made for the new year. Think of the things you have to do to have the things that you want, and then think about what that allows you to be. I want to have peace. It's always my biggest goal. So to have peace, I have to eat well so I can sleep well. Right? To have peace, I have to make more money than I spend, and I have to allocate it to my beautiful children. Then I get to be the matriarch of the family like I want to. I get to be a person who has impact across the world, which is why I work so hard to make content to help you. I'm trying to impact you. If I don't do the things to impact you, I can't. I'm going to be writing my next book, so I have to get organized. That's a do. Because I want to be a New York Times bestselling author who is changing lives across the world. But I got to make sure that do happens. All right, get to it, my friend. And if you're caught up in the screen, you have to stop the hijack. You have to stop that miswiring. Immediately and and start rewiring. So go be do have. If you want to see what your brain's doing and you want my personal help, please reach out. Let's talk. And until next time, control your brain. Or it'll control you. I'll see you then.