Joy as a Leadership Strategy: Allegra Cohen on Mindset, Presence & Performance with Eugene Shatsman

Summary

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Power Hour Optometry – “Joy as a Leadership Strategy: Allegra Cohen on Mindset, Presence & Performance”

Host: Eugene Shatsman
Guest: Allegra Cohen (Speaker, Author, Joy Expert)
Date: November 20, 2025

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Overview

This episode dives into the science and practicality of using joy as a deliberate leadership and life strategy. Guest Allegra Cohen shares her research-driven concept of “micro joys”—small, everyday sparks of happiness—and how intentionally focusing on them can build resilience, fuel effective leadership, and positively influence team and patient experiences in an optometry practice. The conversation weaves together Allegra’s personal story, actionable neuroscience, tools for daily practice, and lively exercises—showing how the pursuit and sharing of joy is anything but naive.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Joy Matters in Leadership & Practice Management

[03:35 – 09:13]

• Allegra analogizes TikTok’s algorithm to our brain’s focus: what we engage with, we see more of.

  “The algorithm simply notices what you engage with and gives you more of it. Life can work the exact same way.” (Allegra, 03:38)

• Joy isn’t naïve optimism—it’s grounded in neuroscience, specifically the “reticular activating system” that filters our world based on what we attend to.

  “It's not magic. It's actually neuroscience...You teach your brain what matters by what you pay attention to.” (Allegra, 05:32)

• Leaders’ energy and focus not only shape their individual well-being but ripple out to impact team performance, patient trust, and overall practice climate.

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2. The Concept of Micro Joys

[05:27 – 07:19]

• Micro joys are tiny, everyday moments—free and effortless sources of happiness, like sunlight, music, laughter with family, or an uplifting message.
• These moments don’t erase difficulties but shift our moment-to-moment energy, providing a buffer against stress and a resource for resilience and effective decision-making.

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3. Reframing Attention: Neuroscience & Practice

[07:19 – 11:34]

• Referencing Wayne Dyer:

  “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” (Allegra, 07:39)

• Training the mind to focus on “what’s good” builds a positive lens—joy, like vision, can be “refocused.”
• Leaders and clinicians set the emotional tone; their mood and focus are contagious.

  “Your energy introduces you before you even speak…We are responsible for the energy we bring into any room.” (Allegra, 08:34)

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4. Personal Backstory: Resilience Through Challenge

[11:34 – 17:16]

• Allegra shares formative experiences: bullying in childhood pushed her to develop joy-building habits (affirmations, dance breaks, journaling).
• Later, a Crohn’s disease diagnosis deepened her practice—celebrating micro joys became an essential survival skill.

  “I wasn't being naïve. I was being neurobiological, and joy was my medicine.” (Allegra, 16:33)

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5. Joy in the Workplace—Patients & Teams

[18:08 – 24:48]

• Practical application: being present, joyful, and engaged in the exam room builds patient trust—“Your patient has way more confidence if you bring energy that's focused on them.”
• In staff management, leaders need to balance problem-solving with recognition and celebration. Constantly scanning for problems erodes morale; noticing and naming positive contributions builds trust and motivation.

  “When you look at problems, sometimes you’re just telling them you suck at your job… That doesn’t necessarily motivate people.” (Eugene, 24:32)

• The energy and presence of the leader shapes team culture—“being the Chief Joy Officer” creates a space for others to excel.

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6. Joy as a Practice: Tools & Exercises

[30:17 – 36:03]

a. The Micro Joy Method: "Name it, Shift it, Claim it"

[30:24 – 35:10]

• Name it: Acknowledge your current feelings (good or bad).
• Shift it: Take a small, physical action—breath, stretch, shake—to move energy.
• Claim it: Let the positive shift register in your body, and savor it with gratitude.
• Exercise demonstrated live on air (33:22): Eugene admits anxiety, joins Allegra in a 30-second shake/dance, and immediately feels lighter and solution-oriented afterwards.

  “I’m smiling, I feel lighter…Somehow, it’s all—like, I’m not—we didn’t really solve the problem…but for today, I’ll get through it, it’ll be okay.” (Eugene, 34:37)

b. Joy Rituals (or R.I.C.H.-uals)

[36:03 – 41:06]

• Example: Allegra starts each day with, “Today is a great day,” programming her brain to seek positive evidence.

  “You’re telling your day how it’s going to go…You’re taking control, you’re in the driver’s seat.” (Allegra, 39:45)

• Challenge: Try this out loud each morning and observe changes within a week.

c. Multiplying (Not Hoarding) Joy

[41:06 – 42:52]

• Share micro joys in conversation; make it a game.
• Swap stories of happiness instead of complaints to create a contagious cycle of resilience and optimism.

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7. Ripple Effects: Real-World Impact

[42:52 – 45:04]

• Allegra shares success stories: clients facing cancer, college exams, and kids coping with exclusion all use micro joys to stay grounded, calm, and hopeful.

  “That’s what being brave actually looks like for kids these days…to show up, even if it's hard, and appreciate small things.” (Allegra, 44:18)

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8. Addressing Negativity in Daily Interactions

[45:04 – 51:16]

• At the “water cooler,” respond to negativity by making others feel seen, staying curious, and looking for ways to lighten the mood.
• Personal story: Allegra reframes a dreaded DMV trip into a quest for micro joys, finding kindness, connection, and small beauties where she expected frustration.

  “You are the designer of your experience. It doesn’t mean ignoring the hard. It means choosing to see more than the tough stuff.” (Allegra, 50:43)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Joy, like vision, is something we can refocus. When you shift your lens, everything in your world begins to change.”
  — Allegra Cohen [07:56]
• “Your energy introduces you before you even speak…And we are responsible for the energy we bring into any room.”
  — Allegra Cohen [08:34]
• “I wasn’t being naïve. I was being neurobiological, and joy was my medicine.”
  — Allegra Cohen [16:33]
• “What we focus on grows.”
  — Allegra Cohen [05:00, 36:00, 39:45]
• “When you share joy, it’s infectious. When you share complaints, that’s infectious too. It’s your choice which to pass along.”
  — Paraphrased by Eugene [45:32]
• “You are the designer of your experience…Look for the lesson, the growth, or the joy in disguise.”
  — Allegra Cohen [50:43]

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Actionable Takeaways

• Integrate “micro joys” into daily routines: Notice, savor, and share them—for yourself, your patients, and your staff.
• Practice the “Name it, Shift it, Claim it” method: Use it as a quick reset during stressful moments.
• Lead with joy, especially in times of transition and uncertainty: Your emotional presence is a powerful lever for staff engagement and patient care.
• Reframe negatives as opportunities for gratitude and fun: Even DMV trips or staff meetings can be sources of unexpected positivity.
• Challenge: Start every morning declaring, “Today is a great day”—experiment for a week and observe changes.

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Where to Find Allegra Cohen & Her Work

• Instagram: @allegracohen
• Website: allegracohen.com
• Book: You’d Playbook for Living a Brave Life (available on Amazon)

  “It’s a perfect holiday gift for mothers, for daughters, for every single version of you.” (Allegra, 51:44)

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For optometry leaders, clinicians, and anyone navigating daily pressures, this conversation presents joy not as an abstract concept, but as an evidence-based, actionable approach to building better teams, patient relationships, and lives.

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Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Power Hour, Optometry's biggest and longest running show. I'm your host, Eugene Shotsman, and we've got a really special episode for you today. It's a little bit different than our normal episodes. So a little while ago, I had the opportunity to give a TED Talk, and in the audience just a few rows away was today's podcast guest, Allegra Cohen. And then I sat in her TED Talk with my daughter right next to me, and. And we were both completely pulled in by Allegra's message about joy, resilience, and how you can literally train your brain to notice more of what you want in life. We went home, read Allegra's book together, and I just knew I had to get Allegra on the show because if she had this impact on me, maybe she'll have that same impact on the audience of the Power Hour. So in this episode, I bring on Allegra and she explains why joy is not just this fluffy or naive thing. It's neuroscience. She walks us through how your brain's reticular activating system filters the world based on what you focus on and how this concept that she's invented called micro joys, these, like tiny everyday moments are basically an opportunity to rewire your brain for energy, better decisions, and better leadership. So we talk about this in her concept, and I try to translate it for us as business owners and really just kind of directly relate this to life in an eye care practice, thinking about the opportunities to bring little joys into the exam room and how that changes you, how your mood as a leader kind of ripples through your team and then just constantly scanning for problems and red numbers versus finding joy and recognition, what that does if you do one versus the other. So Allegra shares some tools during the show. She's got some interesting kind of exercises. I do something silly on the show, kind of. She guides me through it. But if you're feeling worn down, reactive, or like you're always kind of showing up to put out fires, this conversation might change the way you look at your day and your practice. So before we dive in, quick reminder to make sure that you're subscribed on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to the Power Hour so that you never miss an episode. And I always respond to if you reach out, I promise. So if you got episode ideas or you just want to talk through something in your practice, you can contact me directly@Eugene Shotsman.com or on the Power Hour website. Again, that's Eugene Shotsman.com and all right, let's get into it. Here's my conversation with speaker, author and joy expert Allegra Cohen. Allegra, welcome to the Power Hour. Excited to have you here, Eugene.

[B]

I'm super excited to be here.

[A]

Okay. So I am going to get right into it and I'll just say this when we were so for listeners who may not know, I recently did a TED Talk and I was in Allegra's audience when she was doing her TED Talk and she was in mine. And I was so impressed with the message, with what she had to say and how you said it, that, and quite frankly, my daughter was next to me. We were both inspired. And it's one of those things where, you know, you're an international speaker, you've been on lots of stages, and I think it's really valuable for business owners who are busy running practices to hear part of your message. So I'm just going to ask you kind of let's, let's start at the beginning. Why is this so relevant?

[B]

All right, let's start at the beginning. Eugene, have you ever scrolled on TikTok, watched one quick TikTok, made me buy it video, and suddenly your feed is nothing but shopping hauls, miracle gadgets, and people telling you that you must buy this one thing that will change your life. One minute you're curious about an eyelash lengthening serum, the next you are convinced you need an LED face mask, a mini waffle maker, and an avocado slicer delivered tomorrow by 6am it's not magic. The algorithm simply notices what you engage with and gives you more of it. Life can work the exact same way. What you engage with, what you focus on expands. Engage with stress, and everything feels like an emergency. Engage with joy and life starts to feel lighter. You can't control everything that shows up, but you can control what you choose to notice, celebrate and feed.

[A]

Yeah. And I think that is such a core message and it's exactly how you opened your TED Talk. And I think the reality is that it's true. If we look for mistakes, if we look for problems, if we look for stress, or if we drive our life around stress, it's going to be the thing that we kind of focus on all day long. It's the thing that kind of creates our energy all day long. And I found that even after taking some of your advice, which I'm going to ask you to share in a moment, it's, it's way easier to get to, to get excited about things throughout the day and then to have a great day as a result of this concept. So I'm not going to steal your thunder. Tell us about. To tell us about micro joys that you invented.

[B]

Well, I will absolutely share about micro joys, but you know what? You just relayed what I learned about joy, it's that it's not magic. It's actually neuroscience. And when we focus on something good, our brain's reticular activating system literally filters the world to find more of it. You teach your brain what matters by what you pay attention to. And that means that joy can be taught. And I'm actually living proof of that. And micro joys are those little moments in your day that make you feel alive. They don't cost anything, they don't require any extra time. They're literally right in front of you. You just have to be willing to look for them. It can be as simple as the feeling of sunlight on your face or hearing your favorite song when you need it most. A friend's text that makes you smile, the smell of coffee in the morning. And for me, Eugene, it's definitely laughing at my son dancing in the kitchen to Gangnam Style. Yeah, but they. And micro joys, by the way, they don't erase the hard stuff, but they do shift your energy in the present moment, and that shift changes everything.

[A]

Yeah. And I think the point is, when you look for positive stuff, you notice more positive stuff. Right. When you look for negative stuff, you notice negative stuff. Not super complicated. But when you start shifting your perspective towards that, you realize, well, maybe I'm not really getting the most out of my day if all I'm doing is looking for problems, looking for mistakes, Right?

[B]

Yes. And it is a practice to be able to shift your perspective. One of my favorite quotes of all time hung in my mother's fifth grade classroom for 30 years. And it's a quote by one of my greatest teachers, Wayne Dyer, and he shared, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. And I feel, especially for your audience, it really, it. It really resonates because our perspective is everything. The quote really became a foundation for my work. And what I teach through micro joys is how to see differently. It's about changing what you look for, training your brain to scan for what's good, even in the middle of what's hard. Because joy, like vision, is something we can refocus. And when you shift your lens, everything in your world begins to change.

[A]

So this is so like Give us the, I guess for the person who's not convinced, who's, who's sitting in the audience and says, okay, so what, so I'm looking for joy. What will be better in my life tomorrow if I'm looking, if I'm choosing to look for joy versus choosing to.

[B]

Look for stress, I know firsthand that your life will absolutely improve in your mood, your focus, and your energy. And Eugene, your, your energy is everything. Your energy introduces you before you even speak. And we are responsible for the energy we bring into any room. Zoom, event, party. We're responsible for that energy. And so it's, it's really up to us. Wherever we place our focus, our attention is our power, and that is what is going to really ignite the energy that we bring.

[A]

Yeah. And I think, you know, you think I, I, I would relate this to what happens in the patient room. And your dad was an optometrist, right?

[B]

My dad was an optometrist, yes.

[A]

So saw a lot of patients. And when I think about, okay, if you walk into the patient room and you're groggy and you're frustrated and you're angry at something that happened, and even if you're like, hey, I'm just going to set that to the side, and I'm going to look at this patient and I'm going to talk to them about their prescription and their lenses and possibly their dry eye. All of that stuff, you can see it, right? Right. Like the, the person can subconsciously, even if you, you're not saying anything about, like, oh, I'm so mad at this stupid thing that happened earlier today. Instead of that, people can see that, people can sense that. And psychologically, and I think really from a, from a financial standpoint, too, from an economic perspective, your patient has way more confidence in you. If you're bringing energy that is, number one, focused on them, and number two, if it seems like you like what you're doing.

[B]

Absolutely. And my witnessing how my dad operated with his patients, I would have the opportunity to go and work for him every summer as a child, and I got to see firsthand the extra connection, the time that he spent. I'd be like, oh, my gosh, like, he is really spending a lot of time with his patients. And I learned so much from, from watching him. He, he really made each one of his patients feel seen taking the time to be present with them. And whether they had, they were dealing with cataracts or glaucoma or blepharitis, their, their vision was blurry. If they have trouble focusing, he would help them to see again. And. And I began to learn that the lens in which we really see isn't through a piece of glass or plastic. It really is through the lens of joy. And I would hear all of these different stories of his patients and how they overcame all that they went through in life. And then my dad would find these moments of joy to really help them to refocus in the moment.

[A]

Yeah. And it's pretty profound. We don't see through a piece of plastic. We really see through the lens of joy. That's really interesting. So how did you get to be this way? I think you describe yourself as like a chief Joy officer for a lot of the people you work with. Describe to me how you got here.

[B]

Well, I will. I'll take you on a little journey back to fifth grade, when I was known as Allegra Froin, which was such a lovely nickname given to me by my peers. Um, but growing up, I was always really liked and loved by my teachers and my friends. And then something happened in fifth grade and I became the target. And I would wake up every single day looking at my glow in the dark, stars on my ceiling, imagining how I was going to get bullied when I went to school that day. And it. It wasn't just like the name calling. Can you imagine this entire head of curly hair with a bottle of Elmer's glue poured in it?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It was. It was mortifying every single day going to school. But I had to find a way to cope and change my perspective and go from feeling afraid and ashamed to owning my power. And so I would go home every single day and I. I would actually watch soap operas with my mom and watch these, like, fabulous women characters who were so fierce and confident. And I felt like we had this special connection. And I felt empowered by just how they. Their energy and how they were. I also, I just. I realized if I couldn't control what was going on outside of me, I could only control myself. And so I woke up every single day at 5:30am for fifth grade. I would set my alarm clock radio to Q102. And when I wake up, I would look in the mirror and I would tell myself, af like, I would get. I would start to, like, imagine all the, like, the terrible things that were going to happen to me at school. And then I would. I would look in the mirror and I would take some deep breaths and I would quiet my inner fear leader. And I would say to myself, I'm confident. I'm beautiful, I'm proud of me. And then I would journal those affirmations that I didn't know they were called affirmations at the time in my journal. And then I would turn up the volume on Q102 and I would dance around my room so fiercely that I would actually cause a shift in my body. And so I learned firsthand that I would need to create and infuse joy into myself because I couldn't count on receiving joy from outside of me.

[A]

So really that was like the first step of controlling your environment, despite what everybody else might say. Well, there's some awful things happening to you. You can't really control that. But it sounds to me like you, you basically said I can and I'll take action. And it's, that's pretty big deal. And you know, having a fifth grade daughter right now, that's like I'm imagining getting her up at 5:30 in the morning. Even that step is really hard. All the other steps, like that's a. That's incredible.

[B]

Yeah, I was, I was very motivated to change my circumstances. And I would say another piece of the puzzle. A different joy classroom for me was when I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease and my bowel perforated when I was 16. They thought it was my appendix, but it was my bowel. And I, I woke up after emergency surgery and I looked down at my stomach and it resembled the board game operation. And I got this brand new life sentence with Crohn's. And for years, Eugene, that diagnosis shaped everything. With hospitals, medications, flare ups and it was so easy for me to focus only what on what was wrong. But again, something inside me refused to let this disease be my identity. So that's when I really started celebrating micro joys. And I would notice the sunlight on my face after a week inside a kind and caring nurse chatting with me about school while she was giving me uncomfortable tests in the hospital, I would make joy a practice. It wasn't a reward I was waiting for, but it was the tool that I use to survive.

[A]

Yeah, that's really powerful. And learning that in your childhood, it's obviously affected you as an adult, but it really like you, you start thinking about, well, you have the opportunity to like just find every single day little things that could make you happy, right?

[B]

Yes, it was. And, and when you find these little things that make you happy and, and you combine it with experiencing gratitude or appreciation, your brain releases dopamine and serotonin, which are the chemicals that calm your nervous system and build emotional resilience. And this gratitude for this small, joyous moment, it literally broadens your mind's ability to see solutions and builds inner strength, for one, when things get tough. So I. I always say I wasn't being naive. I was being neurobiological, and joy was my medicine.

[A]

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. And, you know, what you just said is really interesting because business owners listening to this, or practice administrators listening to this, or really anybody who has a tough and demanding job probably has things that, number one, stress them out throughout the day. Number two, you know, things don't go exactly as planned all the time. And that resilience component is so important to be able to nail just right. And you're saying that if you run your life on this kind of joy operating system. Sorry, I'm just making this up. But if you. If you kind of use joy as a foundation for everything, then you become more resilient to everything else that happens in the day. You. And you're able to get to solutions quicker without necessarily reacting in a. In a way that's not productive.

[B]

That's exactly right. And I would say that in addition to, like, in a corporate environment, I actually had the opportunity to work with the United States Navy this year as a part of their warrior toughness initiative. And what unfolded in that experience blew me away, because when they first came to me and they told me I was thrown into the mix with all these, like, you know, very serious thought leaders, and then they ended up hiring me to come and talk to the US Navy about joy, I was a little like, okay, what am I. I got. I'm going to make them. I can't make them do that. No, I can't make them do that. Like. And what was so cool from the experience is that, you know, we. We laughed, we breathed, we practiced presence, we shook it out with a mini dance party, and we talked about being human beneath the armor, and they went there with me. They practiced being present, they tapped into their imaginations, and they remembered what it feels like to play. And through it all, they reminded me that being brave doesn't mean staying hard. It means staying open. And truly, Eugene, like, one of the biggest lessons that I learned from this experience is that even the toughest need tools to transition from mission back to the moment, from pressure to peace, from high alert to home. And so do you. We all do. We all need to take that responsibility in the prime real estate of transitions and maybe use a transition to just notice something that's right in front of you that can bring you some joy in that moment. And really the experience of guiding the US Navy to take this transition time, it was all about being able to help them return home to their families. Because it's not just about you, it's about who you're affecting when you go home or when you run into the CVS cashier.

[A]

That's a really good point. I think, across the board is that, and I want to zoom in on this just a little bit, is that the way that a leader runs their day in a practice or in a business oftentimes ripples through the staff. And so I guess, you know, let's talk a little bit about staff management. So if I'm thinking about, okay, what are maybe what are common mistakes that people are making from a, you know, maybe not leveraging joy to the max potential to. Because I think we've established this is, this is very clearly a life skill. But it's also, I think, I would argue that everything you just said also makes it a business tool. And if it makes it a business tool, then we should try to learn to use this tool and figure out where the, where, where the real impact is. So I, my hypothesis is that, okay, I can be, I, let's, let's say I'm more engaged with my patients, I'm more joyful with my patients, and I'm seeing a patient, I have, I have a better connection with them. They think I love what I do, so they are more likely to participate in my recommendations. Oh my God, this doctor really believes in this. And so, you know, revenue per patient go up and potentially treatment case, treatment acceptance plans, or treat treatment acceptance rates go up. That's great. But then you think about how we manage staff, right? We talked about, okay, well, I'm in front of patients, but as a business owner, I'm also in front of staff. And whereas like we are always thinking, okay, I'm on stage with the patient, I'm also kind of on stage as a leader with the staff. And if you integrate this concept of joy into your day to day lives, what does that do? When you start thinking about how that makes you a better leader, a better.

[B]

Manager too, especially for your staff, it's really about helping them to feel seen and appreciated. This world that we're in right now, it is a messy, chaotic place and life is really, really hard. And so it's not, it's not about like pretending things aren't hard or like you're, you're rushing to the, to the next patient. Or you're dealing with like a technicality, like, issue, or you're dealing with maybe a staff member who is going through something. And this is. It's really about just having this mindfulness and this awareness of being able to use the Joy as your tool and as your strategy to help them feel like they're being taken care of as well.

[A]

Yeah, I, I think that's. That's really powerful. And I think the interesting part if I, you know, I'll try to. Try to build on that a little bit, is that I think when we run staff meetings, oftentimes we spend some percentage of the time on recognition and maybe there's a little bit of throwaway and some percentage of the time on problem solving. And oftentimes I think it's true that recognition is probably the first thing to go if we have some big problems. And also, I think it's pretty, you know, I know I fall into this trap as a business owner all the time. I look at a report and I'm like, oh, like, you know, the numbers that are red are the ones I'm going to attack the first. Right. It's not like I'm not going through and saying, oh, this one's great. Let's celebrate that and let's celebrate this. And who did that there? They're amazing. You know, not never going down the list like that. I'm going down the list and saying, oh, I see a problem. How do we, you know, what, what. What have we already done to try to solve this problem? Who knows about this problem? And so the focus on problems, I think while, while productive, I, I do think that, you know, you don't just like, like you were saying, you don't just kind of ignore them. I think the focus on problems sometimes tends to shift our mindset. And possibly for the staff, it's never really clear that you're there for them. As a leader who is looking for opportunity. When you're looking at problems, sometimes you're just telling them you suck at your job and you're bad and you're, you know, I wish you were better. And that doesn't necessarily motivate people.

[B]

I mean, that really paints the picture for me. I think when you can go in, maybe wearing the hat every day as chief Joy officer and going in with that mindset, you need to have the balance. Of course, you need to be able to identify the problems and be a solution seeker instead of just focusing on the problems to be able to incorporate the moments of celebration and appreciation, noticing where people are rising to the occasion and being the best full versions of themselves.

[A]

Yeah. And I think this is an interesting point, is that if we spend time thinking about, hey, I noticed something. If you kind of shift your mindset and you say, hey, I noticed something good. And so I don't know, is there a ratio, Allegra, that you would recommend that's like, I can give X number of positive feedback points of positive feedback to every negative one or, you know, I have to do. I think I've heard some magic ratio from some business guru once. So, you know, how many, how many times do you tell someone something good before you can tell them something bad?

[B]

Well, my guidance would be to make it a habit and a practice to go with the positive as much as possible and, and just to keep, keep it, keep it light as. As much as you can.

[A]

And then, you know, then they'll really listen, pay attention when you've got, when you want to solve the problem together. And it's really, maybe the framing of the problem too, is that, hey, I noticed something we could do better. How do, what do you think we can do? Right? Like, because people make mistakes all the time and you're not saying, like, ignore the mistakes, right? Like, if a tech put the patient's name in or put, put the patient's information incorrectly into the chart, like, they have to know about it. But I think they'll probably be more responsive to solving that problem and they'll get tried if you give them regular positive feedback on something else they did. Hey, you know, that patient seemed really well educated. Thanks for doing that. Or, hey, you know, I, I overheard you in the, in the testing room. That was a really great way you presented some of our tests. You know, that was. And, and then you say, but, hey, I noticed this issue. What do you think caused this? And then like, well, I made a mistake. Okay, well, how do we prevent that from happening then? It's more collaborative than, like, you screwed this up.

[B]

It's so much more collaborative. You want to boost productivity. That is the technique to do so. You just made me think about a couple rules that my mom, the fifth grade teacher, instilled in me that really became part of my philosophy. When we were talking about perfection, one of them was, being shy is a waste of time. And in that, she wasn't telling me to be loud. She was reminding me not to hide my light, that the world doesn't need our perfection, it needs our presence. And the other rule that she, she taught me was, when in doubt, do a cartwheel so, meaning if you forget the steps. When I was a dancer, for most of my life, I still am. But when I was five years old, I had the opportunity to audition for a show called the Al Alberts Television Showcase. It was like a mini star search in Philadelphia. And I. I was rehearsing my routine leading up to my big audition, and. And that's when she said, when in doubt, do a cartwheel. Because if you forget the steps, you just. Just keep going. Because all of the joy, it lives in motion, it doesn't live in getting it perfect.

[A]

Yeah, that's interesting. So what's our translation for if I'm in the exam room and I mess up? Cartwheel.

[B]

You just. You're just gonna do a cartwheel?

[A]

Totally. Or some fun version of that. Yeah. So when we come back, I want you to share some of your tools or some of the actual. You know, I guess if you're really trying to make this concept of micro joys a daily practice, as. As a regular, you know, as a person, what are some tools that you could potentially use? And we'll be right back in the Power Hour. All right, we're back on the Power Hour with Allegra Cohen. And I think that people are probably bought into the idea that it's better to live your life with joy versus with negativity. Right. And that there are clearly positive benefits for. For your body, for your brain, and also for your business if you. If you kind of commit to this process. But it's sometimes not so easy to remember. I will say during the break, I stood up to go get a glass of water. And then I noticed that I was like, oh, it's good that I stood up. I feel a little bit more energy. I can have more fun in the second half of our interview. And then I was like, micro joy. That's great. The format of the show allows me to do this so that I can be better for everybody. Like, I have micro joy. Cool. So, like, I'm drinking the Kool Aid Electra, but if people want to drink the Kool Aid in a standardized way, are some tools. What are some strategies that you recommend?

[B]

Okay. One of the first tools in the Micro Joy method, which. The method is a science soul system that will help you to regulate stress and reignite joy on demand. Okay, so this first tool is called Name it, Shift It, Claim it. Now, when you name it, you are acknowledging in the moment what is real. Like, right now, I am feeling nervous, anxious, scared. Just acknowledging how you're feeling and bringing an awareness and Compassion to the actual moment and then shift it. Now this is the key and this is where, like Eugene, you just had your own experience. Like you found the micro joy. This is something where you really need to have the self discipline to actually take one small action. Whether it is a deep breath, a stretch, you're just going to shake it out for 30 seconds. Even a micro move will change the chemistry and the mood in that moment. And then the third step is to claim it. So you're going to let that shift land in your body and you can even like really to put even more amplification around it. You can feel it, the actual shift in your body, and say thank you. You can say thank you out loud and then savor that moment of gratitude. It's how your brain learns to store joy as strength. And basically this, this exercise, it's neuroscience in street clothes. It's a quick portable reset that calms the body, retrains attention, and builds resilience one micro moment at a time. And I've done this with schools, with corporations, with the Navy. It's just about the discipline and the practice of it. Would you like to try it right now?

[A]

Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.

[B]

Okay, so name it.

[A]

So is it like how I'm feeling right now? Okay, I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed. I've got, I'm really enjoying the conversation. But I can't help but think that there's like three meetings that I have immediately after this recording that are all back to back. And I know the first one's going to run over. It's 30 minute slots. So I'm like, man, like I'm not going to be, you know, now them set the other two people back. And I hate doing that to people. So I, that's the, you know, if I'm going to name some anxiety, it's that. So. But, but does it have to be bad? Could it be good? Could also be excited about something.

[B]

Or you could totally be excited about something. But that was actually an excellent example, Eugene. That was so real. But, and now what we're gonna have to do is we're gonna have to get you out of your overthinking mind and back into your body. That's how we're gonna shift it. So now you're gonna shift it and the, the world is your oyster. What would you like to do?

[A]

To shift? What are my options again?

[B]

How about ready? We're just gonna shake it. Just shake it with me.

[A]

All right, so anyone watching on video we're shaking.

[B]

We're shaking. We're shaking like a Polaroid picture.

[A]

Okay, we got it right?

[B]

Okay, you're here. Now wave your hands like this.

[A]

Okay. Say hi. Okay. All right. We're like having a dance party on video. If anybody's ever wanted to see them be doing ridiculous stuff, here we are. Dance party.

[B]

Okay, ready? Now take a deep breath in. Let it all go. And now you're going to claim it. How are you feeling right now?

[A]

I feel silly. It was fun.

[B]

That's awesome. Now. And really feel the feeling in your body. Do you feel it?

[A]

The shift?

[B]

Okay, now you're gonna savor it. And you're gonna take it with you for the rest of the day.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then you're gonna make it a game and see how many of these micro joy moments. Because what we did was we. We just created a micro joy moment where you're able to really savor that shift in your body.

[A]

It's. It's. I know this is gonna sound unbelievable to the audience, but, like, I. I'm smiling and I feel like, I feel lighter. And everyone knows I'm pretty serious as a person, but I am smiling, I feel lighter, and actually kind of, I'm like, okay, it's going to be fine. Like, those meetings will. We'll all. We'll figure it out. It'll be fine. And somehow, like, it just all, like, I'm not. We didn't really solve the problem. Like, we probably shouldn't do that again, where we stack those three meetings in a row like that. But for today, when I get through it, it'll be okay.

[B]

Oh, you are the best student, Eugene. Oh, my goodness. It's not about, like, we're not going to solve anything, like, major it, but it's about really getting out of your head and getting into your body, changing your physiology enough to just feel better.

[A]

But you know what, Allegra? I will say that it immediately gave me the solution. Like, as I was thinking, it was like, okay, I'm going to get through it today. But for the future, what I'm going to do is I'm going to tell my assistant that if I'm meeting with these people in this, like, I was like, I'm going to have like a little, little grid of like, these are meetings. I can't exit early. And if I'm meeting with these people, I need at least 15 minute break between meetings. And then if it goes over, then it's fine.

[B]

It gave you the solution.

[A]

That.

[B]

That's gratifying, right? Now, thank you. Thank you very much.

[A]

It works.

[B]

It works, it works. I have another tool that I can share if we have time. Yeah, okay, great. So one of the practices that I like to instill within the Microjoys method, they're called rituals, except I spell rituals with an R, I, C, H. Because I'm talking about the rich in what truly matters, which is our energy, our connection, meaning and presence. These are the daily habits that anchor us in joy. They don't have to be long, they just have to be intentional. So one of my favorites. The second that I wake up in the morning and I flutter my eyes open and I realize, oh, I'm alive. Yay, bonus day. I say out loud to myself, today is a great day. And then I roll over to my husband and I tell him, today's a great day. And then our six year old, he runs into the room and he tells us, today is a great day. And it's really kind of miraculous what happens. Because what happens is my brain starts looking for proof that it's true. Because that's how your brain works. It finds whatever you tell it to look for. And I'm training my brain to expect good. And I know that that's not the norm. I know that, you know, most people, they, they wake up, they grab their cell phones, they start doom scrolling, and before they even brush their teeth, they've already absorbed all of the bad news. But Eugene, I say no to that. You know, no matter how busy I am, no matter what's going on in life, whether I'm traveling, if I have to wake up at 2am for a morning show, or if I'm heading to a funeral, I do not skip this. That's how serious I am about it. Because according to neuroscience, when we focus on positive moments, we're actually rewiring our brains to expect more. Good. Because like we keep mentioning, what we focus on grows. And so my challenge for your audience and for you tomorrow morning, as soon as you wake up in the morning, say out loud to yourself, today is a great day. And then just see what happens. And then perhaps continue for the next six days and say, today's a great day. Every single day that you wake up, I'm willing to bet that you will notice a difference. Because the way that you start your day shapes everything that follows.

[A]

So I love that so much and I think it's so fascinating to hear you talk through that. Interestingly enough, I kind of do this at morning drop off with my daughter. And it's funny because I say to her, every morning we kind of, as she's getting out of the car, I turn around and we do a fist bump. And she says, and I say to her, great day. And she says to me, great day. And then she hops out of the car and goes to the bus. And it's fascinating to me to hear you say that. What do you think? Like, talk through like what happens in the brain at that exact moment and like kind of from a, not just a psychological standpoint, but from a framing standpoint for, for the rest of your day.

[B]

Oh, well, for the rest of your day, what you're, what's happening is that you're not just feeling good in that moment. Like you, you really are rewiring your brain because when you intentionally notice joy or you're having that appreciation or you're, you're, you're telling your day how it's going to go, you're not letting your day tell you how it's going to go. You, you're taking control, you're in the driver's seat. So you're training your brain to, to expect good things, to believe that life is going your way. And at the same time, you are building mental muscle memory for optimism. And that doesn't just make you happier now, it can literally improve your long term mental health, resilience, and even how you age. So, Eugene, Micro joys, they're, they're also kind of like Botox for the soul.

[A]

Yeah, it's like a superpower. Okay. I love, I love this technique and I think that what you're describing is like, it's so important. But I also notice that when I do this with my daughter, when I drop her off, like, that's great. And then I, I'm happy, she's happy, we move on. Like, how often should you do these rituals throughout the day? Like, this is the first thing in the morning as you described it. Like, how often should I do this?

[B]

Well, you're setting yourself up for success at the start of your day because so, so much is formed and informed at that beginning of the day. And then throughout the day, I, I really like, I am kind of like Mary Poppins and I really like to gamify everything. I think that kind of like any kind of challenge is so much easier when you turn it into a game. So I would say just really like give yourself, give yourself the different, different incentives throughout the day. And like you're, you're going to do this throughout the day, like a handful of times. Because what also happens is and like I shared in my TEDx talk, that joy isn't meant to be hoarded, it's meant to be multiplied. So you can certainly for you and your mental health and mental strength and resilience, you can be collecting these micro joys throughout the day. And then perhaps instead of complaining or judging or worrying or sending a text to gossip about someone in your life, perhaps instead share a micro joy and then ask them to share a micro joy with you. And now that you're, you know, everyone is educated on what a micro joy is, you, you then have this dialogue of micro joys. So then you're not just collecting your own micro joys, then you're collecting their micro joys. And in that, that is actually true abundance, that is having all that you need to really get through the day in the most resilient way possible.

[A]

That's so cool. So cool to hear. I'm curious if you have had experience with people who have gone through this and what kind of, and what, what sort of, what sort of outcome have they had when they go through and they start using their tool or start using some of these tools and some of these, you know, the rituals and in general just kind of this, the first one, I forget the three words, but the transition tool, name it, ship to claim it. Yes.

[B]

So I work with all ages. I work with men and women, and I have clients who are going through or who have gone through breast cancer. And micro joys gave them a way to laugh through the pain. I have worked with college students who use them to stay grounded before big exams. I have a, a college student who just graduated from the University of Penn and was having some different challenges. But, but really with this whole concept of, of joy and, and changing your perspective, that helped tremendously. And then I also have my middle schoolers that I work with who are just doing their best to show up every single day at school. Like that's what being brave actually looks like for kids these days. Kids face pressures today that we never had. And it's really challenging to go to school, to show up for school and to get teased in the hallway or to not be included at the lunch table or to try out for a team. And to be able to shift that perspective and find people and ways to, to appreciate has been so helpful for all of my ages and groups that I work with.

[A]

Yeah, I, I love that. And I think what we're learning as we hear you talk is that as long as you do something every single day to deliberately infuse this concept of joy into the daily, be in, into your daily habits. You can be a better leader, you can be a better, you can be a better role model and at the same time you can get others to do it. Like, as you were saying, like, joy is infectious. And it's just like, I think if people start talking. I didn't want to pass this point because when you said it, I, I wrote it down. I think it's really interesting that when you share the joy, that's really cool, that's really fun and that's really. But also people tend to share negativity too and it's really their choice, right? Like if you, if you start complaining, you know, half, half of us are one upper as well. You know, your car did that. Well, you know what my car did two weeks ago, you know, and then, and then you've got the whole, you know, negative, negative string of stuff going on. What about day to day conversations? Like, what are you like at the water cooler? Allegra, when, when, you know, when somebody, when somebody does say something negative and what, what do you do?

[B]

What you do in that moment is maybe get curious with them and you know, make them feel seen. Like, ask some questions, like get, get to their level and look them in the eyes and be there for them in that moment and, and then, you know, see if you can make the moment lighter, turn it into a joke. So I mean this whole life doesn't have to be so serious. We can, we can find the humor when life gets hard. But I was recently, I had an experience at dmv. And how many like, do you just absolutely love going to the dmv, Eugene?

[A]

Oh, everyone does.

[B]

I'm sure everyone who doesn't love going to the dmv. So I'm, I'm in my house and I'm, I'm thinking about this trip that I'm about to take to the dmv. And you know, your mind starts at seeing how, how many hours are you going to spend and like what all the, the, the documents you need to bring, like all the, all the stuff that is centered around this like most non enjoyable adulting experience in life. So I decided on my route as I was driving to the dmv that this was going to be the absolute best experience that I've ever had at this location. And it was going to be, it was all going to just go seamlessly. So I'm telling you, Eugene, I went into the DMV and the guard outside, he smiled at me and then I went in and the teller was a unicorn in how helpful she was. And then I saw this sign behind another teller that said brand new day. And then I saw a little baby in front of me who was crying and seeing her brave mom, like, holding her and being there for her in that moment. And I have to tell you that I just. I started noticing all. All the micro joys by having this attitude and. And it could seem like I'm in total lala land, but I'm really. I. I've been through really, really hard things in my life and. And that is what has taught me to. To look for the joy. Because it's always possible.

[A]

Yeah. And it's really interesting. So I was going to ask you somewhere in there, like, well, you decided in the car. But then, like, what if it's, you know, what if it's just as bad as every other experience? But what you're saying is you're the one who made the experience. You're the one who chose to have the experience. So it's like, you know, it's. It's up to you to see how to perceive what happens in your day in either a really negative way or in a positive or in a very positive way, and to frame it in a way that. That, you know, ultimately has the benefit for you versus the not benefit. Right. Like, because what would. What would have been the benefit if you're like, oh, that visit was so annoying. And, you know, I had to stand in line and it was longer than I expected and, you know, I didn't have all my paperwork and I had to go get more stuff out of the car and whatever. And what's the benefit? There's no benefit to do the, to doing that. But as you're describing your positive DMV experience, I think about it and I'm like, okay, well, like, yeah, okay, you had fun. You made the best of it. And as the.

[B]

And fun is a very strong word to use. But I did use it as an educational lesson with the, you know, when they called me up in. And they're speaking Spanish and like the numbers like, and la bandana dos, I was like, oh, okay. Like, I'm gonna get to learn Spanish too, while I'm here. But. But I agree with you.

[A]

But. But the thing is, here we are talking about it, so that experience actually now has an impact on lots of people.

[B]

Yay. And. And, you know, I'll just go over here for a second and grab. I wrote this book. It's called you'd Playbook for Living a Brave life. And in this book I talk about rose colored glasses and that you are the designer of your experience. So it really is about up, leveling your perspective. It doesn't mean ignoring the hard. It means choosing to see more than the tough stuff. Look for the lesson, the beauty, the growth or the joy in disguise. When you shift how you see the world, the world begins to shift with you.

[A]

Oh, that's awesome. I feel like we can, we can end the conversation right there. That's kind of like a mic drop moment. So, Allegra, how can people find you? How can people get your book?

[B]

Eugene, people can find me in many different ways, but first and foremost, you can head over to Instagram at Allegra Cohen and you can follow my journey to Joy on there. And you can Also check out Allegra Cohen.com for all things bravery and joy. And I would definitely suggest too, you can head over to Amazon and pick up a copy of your playbook for living a brave life. It is a perfect holiday gift right now for mothers, for daughters, for every single version of you who is looking to really become your own best friend and feel good as much as possible.

[A]

Yeah, I will say my, my daughter and I actually read your book. It was easy and quick read and I think it's full of really cool lessons. So thanks so much for being on the show. Awesome conversation and I always inspired every time that I hear you talk.

[B]

And thank you. The feeling is mutual, Eugene.