i have control issues

this week i come to the recent realization that i have control issues, which is deeply inconvenient because i genuinely thought i was one of the least controlling people. i get into the difference between trying to control other people and trying to control yourself, why fear makes certainty feel so comforting, and how i slowly realized i've been mistaking reassurance for safety. we also talk about how it relates to OCD and emetophobia, trusting your own judgment after people let you down, and why i keep sending myself to the metaphorical dungeon every time life surprises me. turns out maybe the goal isn't having more control but maybe learning how to live without needing it. oh and we also get into ACOTAR. enjoy love u