A (6:11)

Yes, there are so many clinicians who really struggle with finding, like, who they are and how to express themselves in the world. And they're taught these messages in grad school to not self disclose, to not show too much of the personality. And it can fuel a lot of, like, perfectionism or thinking, like, they have to be in a box and, you know, have to perform in a certain way in order to fit that mold. So in your perspective, what are the biggest challenges that clinicians face in terms of finding out how to be authentic?

B (6:40)

Well, I think. And part of it, I think, is what I'm really kind of hoping to bring here, which is like, actual, tangible, digestible things that you can try to see if this will kind of propel you and defining your own sort of authentic self. Because when we look at authenticity, I think it's defined. I looked up, I Was like, what is the definition? What's the actual, like, if I Google it, what's it going to say to me about authenticity? And it said true to one's own personality, spirit or character. And so that sounds pretty good, and it sounds really simple. But then when you try to do it, you get so lost. You can get so lost in all the things because we are so multifaceted as people. And so who you are is not one thing. It's so many things. And so who you are as you at home and who you are as a therapist are going to have some slightly different flavorings. I'm sure that you don't sit on your couch, dress the way you would sit. When you're sitting in your therapist chair, you change a little, you get professional up, you know, but it doesn't mean it's less of who you are. You know, there's all these parts of yourself. So I think people get a little confused about which parts to honor, where and when, when to, you know, just really give certain parts more Umbridge to have them show up more or show up a little bit less because they're not as needed. But honoring that, all those things are parts of you and parts of your season and your changes. So when I think about it, when I think about authenticity, the one thing that really just rings true for me is being in graduate school and one of my professors that I really, really enjoy it said, therapists know thyself. And if I say nothing else, please hear that, you know, and it was like, yeah, you've got to know who you are. Because I think that there's very few people who are just like hardcore blank slate. I'm sure there's some still out there, but I know I'm no good at it. And so the self always shines through. I think it influences how we do therapy, how we engage with clients. So we have to be aware of it. And I think that awareness helps us mitigate things like countertransference and other issues that we can run into for sure, I think.

A (8:47)

Before we get into our tips for today's topic, let's go ahead and take a quick break. For our sponsor, there are so many ways to keep your practice organized, but TherapyNotes is by far the best. They're easy to use, Secure platform, lets you not only do billing, scheduling, and progress notes, but also create a client portal to share documents and request signatures. Plus, they offer amazing unlimited phone support. So when you have a question, they're there so you can get help fast. Get started with TherapyNotes today, trusted by over 60,000 professionals. Go to therapynotes.com and enter promo code PPS as in Private Practice Startup and you'll get two months for free. Also, you can listen to episode 54 where we interviewed Brad Pliner and took an in depth view into their ehr. Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed and frustrated? Not knowing where to start or how to grow and scale your private practice? You've spent years in school and a ton of money getting your degree, but you weren't taught the necessary branding, marketing and entrepreneurial skills needed to be successful in private practice. We get it.

B (9:52)

We've been there.

A (9:53)

We're Kate and Katie from the private practice startup. We've spent a crazy amount of money.

B (9:57)

And over a decade learning and perfecting.

A (9:59)

A proven marketing strategy that works. Let us teach you the step by step proven system to help you fill your practice with the clients you love and live the life you've always dreamed of. Visit private practicestartup.com look for the e course tab to learn more and see the amazing results our coaches have been achieving. Okay, Maritza, I love this topic. It's so important and one that I know Startup Nation is going to love. So what tips do you have for us about how to really embrace the authenticity while building your practice?

B (10:31)

Sure. I was kind of thinking, as I was thinking about that, like, how can I kind of give people some takeaway, some things that they can actually do that they can sink their teeth into to try and start to walk that path toward getting closer to aligning with their authentic self. And the thing I thought of is first, really define your purpose. So if you're, if you're going in a private practice, you're starting it or you're just adding something, or you've been in there for years and there's something you want to change up. You need something new and fresh. Look at defining your purpose. So what are the things that you do really, really well? And what I mean is not what skill do you have, what degrees you have, not what letters are behind your name. So I'm lmft. Right. I'm very proud of those letters behind my name. Let's say I never leave home without them. Right. I'm very proud of being an mft. There's not as many of us. I think it's a cool thing, but there's so much more to me than that. So I have to kind of say to myself, before all the skills, before all the learning, before all the books, what did I just naturally do that Brought me here. And when I was thinking about that for myself, the thing that came up was like, I had mentioned my best friend. You've never met a stranger. And then I heard my first supervisor when I was a student intern. And she said to me, she observed just one session, like one session she sat in. And after that we had a supervision session. She said to me, maritza, you build rapport faster than anybody I've ever seen. And she had been doing this for quite a long time. So I took that as quite a bit of compliment. And my inner critic took it as, I don't know, maybe she's just giving me fluff. And so over the years, I've realized that's really true. And part of it could be because I'm from Nashville, it's supposedly the friendliest city ever. And there could be some truth to that. But when I looked at it, it's just that not only do I really enjoy talking to people, but people tell me their stories. So I'll be at the grocery store and the bagger just starts telling me about their stuff. You know, I've always been one of those people. And so what I thought is, I do. I can find a point of connection with pretty much anybody. And it's not that I'm super well traveled or cultured or anything like that. I haven't had anything that really developed that that's just kind of who I am. You know, I just like connecting with people in a really authentic way. I want to learn about who people are. I'm just inherently interested in that. So, of course, becoming a therapist into psychology was very natural. I've developed skills, if I market just my skills, people aren't getting the self of the therapist coming through. And most people don't really care. They don't really care about all of that stuff. They want to know who they're sitting with and who they're giving their story to, who they're handing that over to. And so I need some of that to come through. I can't be so blank, so vacant that they can't connect. Because for me, this is.

A (13:26)

Sorry, go ahead.

B (13:29)

No, please interrupt. I love it.

A (13:31)

This is so good, what you're saying about really knowing who you are as a person and what your strengths are and how you connect with people. Because when you know that, you know your personality and you know, you know how unique you are, and then unique expressions, the way that you come across, you're able to attract the type of clients that you're going to be the Best fit with and best to serve. That's where you're going to do your best work and you're going to feel like you're in alignment with who you're attracting. So that first step, I couldn't agree with you more, is so important about getting clear on who you are and the self of the therapist work. I just love everything that you're saying.

B (14:07)

Yeah, yeah. So then I look at. So I'm finding out who I am by really defining that purpose. Why do I want to go into private practice? What is this about? What am I trying to do? What do I want to accomplish? And not what do I want to accomplish for the client? So that was a mistake I made the first time, and I still find myself making it this a default that I want to go to fulfilling the need. And it really. It's not even the need. It's an anticipated need. It's what I think someone else might want. And that becomes so far from who I am, because I'm as. I'm guessing, I'm guessing. And that guesswork is so ambiguous that you can fall flat on it. And I saw myself do that before. And so instead I'm saying, what do I want? What do I want my office to look like? What kind of chair do I like? What kind of wall art do I like? Because if I like it, I'm comfortable and I'm showing up really well for you, because I'm in my zone. I'm in my setting, I'm in my environment. And everything around me is reflecting who I am to me. And it grounds me in the essence and the core of who I am, which is somebody who builds really good rapport, somebody who is very interested in just being with other people, showing up for people, and it'll just keep me showing up. So why would I not have the things around me that I love? Why would I not surround myself with the things that feel very true to me? Why would I set up my office for a client I haven't yet met? It doesn't make any sense. But the clients that come, I find so much similarity between them. And I like so many points of connection where I can just have such deep and profound empathy for them in a way, because I've just naturally attracted those people who need what I have to give. And the same on this end, because I do think I learn from my clients all the time. But we can make a whole podcast just on that.

A (15:54)

There's a separate reciprocal benefit, for sure. And we gain a lot from the work that we do with clients. I love how you're talking about this, of just being true to who you are and showing up in the way that feels most in alignment with the things that you love so that you can be your best self, you can do your best work, you can feel like you're in the zone, and then you're attracting people who really want to be in that zone with you. And there's this alignment with the types of people that you're seeing and energetically and just how you're connecting with them. And it becomes this reciprocal feedback loop of just really awesome connection.

B (16:26)

Yes, yes, exactly. And the thing that I think is also remembering who you are. And I know sometimes we say like, you know, stay in the moment, of course, that's all great, but also giving a little bit of umbrage to your past, so kind of uncovering all the skill, uncovering all the techniques, uncovering the trainings and looking beneath that at the foundation. What was the foundation of all of this? Where did this originate for me? And that was really my journey when I created my practice and my practice name this time, which is pure empathy, because I came to the conclusion that I build rapport. Well. And I thought, what is rapport, really? And I thought, when I have rapport because I have empathy, because I'm really in a moment of empathy with that person, I'm really in that connection with them and like, really into their story and sort of myself gets somewhat suspended in that moment. And there's a connection there. There's a moment. And so I thought, you know, that's what I'm good at. I'm good at holding empathy for people and just, you know, being able to do that.

A (17:25)

I love that name. And it really describes the essence of who you are. And it is so important to focus on getting clear on that really solid foundation for your brand first. And then. And then moving forward. So many people just jump right into private practice. You know, I've been there, I did it. It sounds like you did it the first time you ran from agency straight into private practice without having that time to really invest in your brand and get clear on that. And once you're clear on that, it guides everything, decisions. So much easier moving forward.

B (17:59)

And everything starts to fall into place too. I think that things start to click and there's a sense of true alignment. Like really things are just clicking in and they're lining up for you and they're centered and you're feeling grounded in it, and there's a sense of trust. There when you really can hone in on that. Because an example, maybe a good example would be as I'm developing and I had told you earlier that my website is in progress and part of my thing is I like to just have it done yesterday. That's who I am. So a big practice for me is patience. Like I was like, I'm going on this podcast, my website isn't even launched and there was a part of me that wanted to run and just slap something up. So I had it for people to look at and I thought, you know what? No, because that's not really me. What's really me is it's kind of weird and clunky looking right now for sure. But you can schedule an appointment, that's possible. So it's very bare bones and I don't have the content there. And it's all because I'm working on it. It's all in progress. And I think there needs to be no shame in that game, no shame in the where you are in your process. And knowing that for me, and this, not everybody will agree, but for me it's more important to get all of that refined first before I'm putting that out there. So I'm feeling really congruent and really like the message I'm sending is clear. Communicating clearly to those people rather than just putting up whatever I think maybe somebody wants to see.

A (19:27)

So important and to not feel like, you know, the shoulds take over, like I should have this done, I gotta have it done. And just slapping something up and it doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel in alignment and then it's just icky and it, and it comes across icky. So for you to actually slow down and just be authentic and be patient and even though you wanted to have it done yesterday and a lot of us are like that, I'm like that too. It's great that you're giving yourself the permission to just show up, authentically. Share this as part of your experience, as part of your story. And everybody's brand will continue to evolve. Everybody's websites will continue to evolve. Nothing is ever going to be completely finished. It's all a work in progress. No matter where we are in the process, it's never finished. Yes, showing up is important and it's.

B (20:10)

So good, I think, to role model that for our clients too. And if you're a supervisor to your supervisees, you know that we are ever evolving. I remember my undergraduate background is actually in industrial and organizational psychology. So I was originally going to go be like a consultant. And I switched gears for my master's, obviously, but one of my professors had said different strokes for different folks at different times in their lives. And I was like, oh, I like that because I never heard that last piece at different times in their lives. And I think that's very potent, that's very powerful, is to look at the timing of things. My timing for my first practice, my first practice served me well. It was not very fruitful financially for me, but it got us by. And I was able to spend a ton of time with my new babies. So that was a beautiful thing. And I helped so many survivors of sexual trauma heal. So love it. I loved every minute of it. But it had a time and a place for me and now I'm moving on to something different. And again, my purpose and my intentions are very different this time. And. And so I think that's important. So looking at what are you naturally good at? What is the thing that you just do and you've always kind of done, that's just a part of you that you show up well. And I think that will help set you on the path of authenticity and discovering that. And then I think when you find it, don't doubt that it's unique because we, I think as therapists we can have, we're helpers and we want to help others and we can have a little bit of challenge. I think often with self care and pouring back into ourselves and you know, putting limits on things like that. And I think we have to say to ourselves, what are we good at? And that is unique. It's not that there's no one on the planet who's good at building rapport. Lots of people are good at building rapport. And probably a big portion of therapists have this natural talent too. But it doesn't diminish that. I have doesn't take from me that someone else also shares this gift because that person might be doing totally different work than I'm doing. But we still share this gift of building rapport. So whatever your natural talent is, there's probably others of you, but you're still fewer and far between. So share it. Don't be afraid. Don't let self doubt get you. So when you figure out what that is on your path and you go, that's the thing I'm good with. Share it. Just start sharing it in any way you can. Even if it's talking to somebody at the grocery, connecting with a random person, start to share it. So you can start to really embody that truth, and then all of that stuff can emerge from that place. You know, all of the ideas about your practice and what you're going to do and all of those big hopes and dreams. So I think that's a big thing because I think fear is common. You know, when you're doing this, when you're taking this risk, I feel almost like sometimes I'll say to my clients, well, if you weren't afraid, I'd think something was wrong with you. Right. So that would be the abnormal response to not have fear, but do it anyways. That's the thing. It's sort of like a Nike. Just do it.

A (23:11)

It's so funny because as therapists, we're excellent at helping with their mindset. But when we turn that mirror and we look at the mindset issues that come up anytime, where we're getting into a new area or we're starting a business or we're scaling a business or growing or launching a product or a service, it can really kick up some mindset issues. I know we did a whole Mindset March theme with our podcast. So if you guys want more mindset help, definitely go back and listen to those episodes because we had four of them in a row. And it's just. It's very common. And so many people let those mindset blocks get in the way and prevent them from being their authentic self or from taking that leap to follow their dream and build their dream, practice, whatever it might be. But it's something that we can totally manage as long as we're aware of it and we're working through it and we're getting support with that. What recommendations do you have for therapists who are really getting caught up in that mindset stuff?

B (24:07)

Sure, sure. One of my things is be rigorously honest with yourself. Rigorously honest. And what I mean by that is you've got a self in there. So if you are the therapist that is a die hard psychoanalyst, and you really do want to be a blank slate, and that's your jam. I'm good with that. Okay. No judgment at all. That's great. But if you're that therapist and I walk into your office and I see like Buddha statues everywhere and like a bunch of like, Zen stuff and a water feature and, you know, all this, think I might get a little confused about why I'm laying on a couch and we're doing things in this way rather than a way that I would anticipate because of those visual cues around me. Right. So when I Think of somebody who's doing psychoanalyst. I'm thinking like darker worn leather furniture, right? Like a darker room, like older style, like hearkening back to Freud in the early days. And then when I think of people who are doing things, you know, that are like more modern and postmodern theories and on the cutting edge of therapy and. And focused on things like authenticity, then I kind of expect to see different colors in your office and maybe some different sort of decor. And I've walked into so many different colleagues offices and gone, wow, this is not you. None of this is you. This doesn't make me think of you at all. There's almost nothing in here that lets me know anything about what I actually know about my interactions with you. And if you make a call as a client and you talk to a therapist, and that therapist is, you know, a certain way over the phone, you're going to want to see that shown through the whole process. And I don't think we always look at that. We're not taught that in school. Nobody's talking about those things. And so I think, look at the self of the therapist. Figure out your purpose as you're doing that. You'll start to really get into the authenticity, saying, what am I good at? What are my natural talents? And just engaging with that in some kind of way. So I was just glancing back at my notes to kind of keep myself honed in, because I can. Can talk. It's one of my favorite things. But one of the things that I think is you had mentioned hang ups. And I think where we can get hung up is focusing on our flaws and our shortcomings. And I have, and almost always have, I have a little jar where people can get quotes that I love as they leave the session. So they're just like little inspirational quotes. And everybody calls it like the voodoo jar, because they'll pick out exactly what we've been talking about, like the same concept or theme. And they look at me like, is this rigged? And I'm like, I promise you, it's a random pick. And one of the things I have in there is an affirmation statement. And it says, I embrace my flaws as I embrace my successes. And I think that's very important because I have shortcomings. Everybody does. We all have blind spots, but if we can be aware of those, we really mitigate the damage that they can do in our lives. Just. Just the simple awareness. Even if you can't ever maybe flex that muscle really well, it's just about knowing that it's. So give it attention and then turn back to your strengths, you know, let yourself know, yeah, I have some things that I want to work on, I want to prove, but what am I really naturally good at and focusing there because that's where the inspiration comes, I think.

A (27:21)

Beautiful. I love everything that you're talking about and we could talk for hours about this topic. There's so much to discuss. What do you want our listeners to take away from your topic here today?

B (27:32)

Really? I think I want everybody to, to just know this. Be yourself, be rigorously yourself, be true to yourself and be okay with that, whatever that is. So looking at the timing of it, this is who I am in this moment. I'm going to grow, I'm going to develop, I'm going to change. And that might mean your logo grows, develops and changes. That might mean the sofa people sit on grows, develop and changes over the years and that's okay. But just embracing that, you know, embracing that you have something unique to bring. And one of the things that I had shifted my mindset around, which I think for me really clicks some stuff into place and I think might be helpful for people, is if they don't know I'm here, I can't help them. And so I had to get out of the mindset. The marketing myself was yucky and I had to say there are people who need me and I've got to stop getting into self pity and I've got to start showing up for that because I do bring something unique and even on my worst day I'm very pure of intention and I do want to help people. So I needed to do that and I had to change my mindset around how I marketed myself because inherently as a therapist you are marketing some of yourself. You can have a brand new logo, but it's you that they sit with. So they want to see that, they want to know who that is before they come in.

A (28:50)

It's so important. Katie and I are just super passionate about all of this branding and marketing stuff and we talk a lot in our E course that we, we just are launching on Tuesday. Actually we talk a lot about marketing mindset and entrepreneurial mindset and really overcoming those barriers that get in the way because so many therapists do get caught up in that feeling so uncomfortable and not knowing what to say or how to say it or how to share what they do. But you're exactly right, I mean we all have a moral obligation to share what it is that we do and how we can help People, because there's so many people who are waiting and trying to find you and need your services. And if you're not putting yourself out there so that they can find you and not clearly communicating what it is that what you do, you know what it is that you do. Your marketing messages aren't clear and they're muddled, then people aren't going to know how you can help them. It's super, super important, but that's a whole other topic.

B (29:41)

Yeah, sure.

A (29:42)

So I know you have a great giveaway, actually two giveaways for our audience. Share what those are. People can get them.

B (29:49)

Yeah. So actually you can just email me. So my email is my initials and my cred, mblmfturempathyllc.com so feel free to email me there to request your freebie. And basically what I'm offering is I'm going to do audio recordings that are downloadable for people. I'm a certified hypnotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, and I also do a lot of guided imagery and mindfulness work. So I'm going to do probably a recording from each of those and people can choose what they would like. It'll be a brief one, but it'll be one you can kind keep forever and ever and use as you need. The other thing that I'm going to be offering, it's sort of a briefer offering, but for the first 10 people that are interested, I'm going to be offering them a $50, 30 minute phone call personality verification session. So it is deeply discounted. And this is something that I'm starting to launch as I have gotten into personality typology. And what I'll be doing in that is helping them really clarify their Myers Briggs personality type type and talking briefly with them about how they can use that to either build their practice or just improve their life in some way, whatever their choice is. And so I'm doing that on a discount for people. And like I said, it's a brief one and it's just a clarifying their best fit type and maybe giving them a tip or two about how they can use that to propel themselves forward. Because as I've learned about it, personality type really helps us step into our authenticity, in my opinion, of course. But it's one of the tools that I've used to really figure out who I am and what I bring.

A (31:31)

Fantastic. Well, thank you for your generosity and offering those amazing giveaways and for this fabulous topic about authenticity. I should be ringing the cowbell right now the authenticity cowbell, but it's on the other side of the room and I'm not going to disconnect from all the tech stuff. So thank you so much, Maritza, for being here today. We so appreciate your value of what you've offered and thank you, Startup Nation, for listening to this episode, for being loyal listeners of our show. We're always trying to provide the best quality podcasts and topics to really meet your needs. So if there's a topic that you're wanting to hear, shoot us an email, let us know. We love when we hear from you guys and we get emails or shout outs or reviews. It's something that inspires us to keep going, helps us to know that we're providing the content that you really need from us so that we can continue to inspire you from Startup to mastery. So with that note, next week's podcast is actually with Noreen Van Der Hooven and she talks about five things that you need to know in order to address suicide risk. So it's a very important topic and we look forward to seeing you on the next show. If you're not already a part of our Startup Nation Superhero tribe where we all hang out, join us in Facebook. We would love to connect with you there. Just go to Facebook and you can type in the Private Practice Startup Facebook group and we'll approve you to join. And then make sure to check out our show notes page with the tips and resources and giveaways and all of the links from today's shows. Let's take just a moment for our Superhero Shout out, who is from Christina Fetchik. She says you guys are just awesome. The podcasts are helping me so much in my own private practice development. Keep it up, ladies. Keep it up. Christina, thank you so much for the Superhero Shout Out Love. We appreciate that and we encourage you guys to share this episode with any of your fellow friends or colleagues. Help get the word out about the ways that we can help inspire you guys from Startup to Mastery. So we hope you have an awesome, inspired day and we look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks for joining us on the Private practice startup. Visit theprivatepracticestartup.com for awesome resources, free trainings, attorney approved private practice paperwork, and so much, much more.