Episode 97: The 5-Step Strategy to Make More Money AND Have Extra Time

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: Private Practice Startup Podcast
Episode: 97 – The 5-Step Strategy to Make More Money AND Have Extra Time
Date: August 4, 2018
Hosts: Dr. Kate Campbell & Katie Lemieux
Guest: Melissa Kornhouse (soon to be Buffington), LMHC

This episode dives into Melissa Kornhouse’s five-step strategy for private practice owners to increase income while freeing up more personal time. The discussion focuses not on quick external tips, but on a comprehensive, inside-out approach to business and life transformation — including setting intentions, mastering mindset, and leveraging relationships for sustainable growth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Spark: Intention Before Strategy

• Melissa’s Journey
  Melissa shares how she initially built a successful private practice but found herself stuck in a cycle of overwork (“addicted to my computer, addicted to networking, addicted to my spreadsheets”—[06:10]). Despite her success, she realized she was “still grinding,” with little room for personal life.
• Intentionality
  “My intention was from a pure heart, wanting to serve and wanting to love my life.” —Melissa ([08:10])
• Letting Go of Control
  Melissa highlights the importance of setting a clear intention and then allowing opportunities to unfold naturally, without micromanaging the outcome.

2. Mastering Mindset: The Real First Step

• Common Money Beliefs
  Host Katie discusses persistent beliefs such as “I have to work hard to make money” ([08:41]).
• Breaking Cycles
  Many practitioners get brief relief from overworking, but soon slip back into old habits. Melissa points out the “addiction to busyness” and emphasizes the need for internal change ([09:39]).
• Melissa: “One of the steps in this strategy is about really just mastering your own mind, mastering your own self.” ([10:37])

3. Relationships as Feedback Loops

• Growth Mirror
  Relationships are positioned as a central mechanism for growth—clients, peers, and others reflect our own patterns and areas for development.
• Clients as Feedback
  “A client who maybe is constantly showing up five minutes late…when that’s coming back to you, that’s feedback.” ([12:24])
• Supportive Relationships
  Only work with committed individuals ready for uncomfortable change. Personal development accelerates with the right support.

4. Dreaming Without Limits

• Beyond the Obvious Solutions
  Instead of defaulting to raising fees or vaguely pursuing passive income, Melissa challenges listeners to engage in true, unlimited dreaming ([15:39]).
• Exercise for Listeners:
  “Imagine if there was no limit on money, on time, on what’s possible. What would you want your life to look like morning, noon, and night?” —Melissa ([17:07])

5. The Power of a Single Insight

• Small Shifts, Big Results
  Seemingly minor moments or comments can catalyze massive life changes if you’re open to intention and possibility (“one little comment can shift the whole direction for you”—[19:16]).
• Analogy:
  “What you want to do is aim for the center pin…when you hit it just at the right angle, all the other ones fall down naturally, and you’ve got a strike. That’s how it works when you’re working inside out.” —Melissa ([19:47])

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Melissa (on intention):
  “It really all comes back to starting within yourself…set the intention and be excited about where that would lead.” ([06:00])
• Katie (on default mindset):
  “I have to work hard to make money. So I have to watch when that creeps up all the time.” ([08:41])
• Melissa (on shifting feedback):
  “Relationships can be one of the most powerful accelerators…if you don’t know how to take that [feedback] and turn that around… you’re missing out on the growth.” ([12:52])
• Melissa (on dreaming):
  “Instead of coming up with a solution…close your eyes and just dream. Imagine what it would be like.” ([15:41])
• Melissa (on busyness):
  “This is an epidemic of addiction to busyness. People wear it like a badge… it’s not something to be proud of.” ([20:46])
• Melissa (on radical responsibility):
  “Everything that you experience is just your perception and it’s all your responsibility. And it can be terrifying... But…that’s so empowering because now I can change it.” ([23:55])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 06:00 — Melissa discusses intentional living and her breaking point in private practice.
• 08:41 — Katie and Melissa talk about money beliefs and their impact on business habits.
• 10:37 — “Mastering your own mind” as a core principle of the five-step strategy.
• 12:24 — How client behavior offers feedback and opportunities for practitioner growth.
• 15:39 — The need to dream without restriction; moving beyond “raise your fees or passive income.”
• 17:07 — Encouragement to visualize a life/business without limitations.
• 19:16 — The power of a single, potent insight to change one’s entire trajectory.
• 20:46 — Cultural addiction to busyness, challenges of being “always on.”
• 23:55 — Radical responsibility: “Everything you experience is your perception and your responsibility.”
• 25:34–28:36 — Discussion of how radical responsibility empowers practitioners to shift from blaming to creating, fostering growth, and facing the discomfort of change.
• 30:12 — Guest’s free breakthrough call offer and recommended resources for growth.

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Resources & Further Learning

• Guest Offer:
  Melissa invites listeners to schedule a complimentary 45-minute “breakthrough call" (details in show notes).
• Recommended Reads:
  • The Power of Youf
  • Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill
  • Money, and the Law of Attraction by Esther & Jerry Hicks

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Summary Tone

Conversational, passionate, and inspiring — this episode embodies authenticity, with the hosts and guest sharing personal experiences, challenging conventional wisdom, and encouraging listeners to create a business and life they truly love, starting from the inside out.

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For Listeners: Key Takeaways

• Sustainable business success starts inwardly, with clarity of intention and mindset.
• Feedback from clients and life is a mirror and a tool for growth.
• Step away from the addiction to busyness—success can and should feel aligned and flowing.
• Dream big and get specific—envision your ideal lifestyle, unconstrained by limits.
• Embrace radical responsibility: when you own your experience and choices, you unlock the possibility for true change.

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Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Private Practice Startup where we inspire you from startup to mastery. We chat with entrepreneurs, experts in the mental health and business arenas, and successful private practitioners to give you the tools needed to make your dream practice a reality. Visit theprivatepracticestartup.com for awesome resources, free trainings.

[B]

And so much more.

[A]

Here are your hosts, Dr. Kate Campbell and Katie Lemieux.

[C]

Hey there everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Private Practice Startup podcast. I am one of your hosts or co hosts, Katie Lemieux.

[B]

Hey everybody, it's Kate Campbell. Welcome back, welcome back.

[C]

And so if you are a first time listener, we want to say thank you so much for joining us and we are welcoming you to the Startup Nation family. We are rolling out the virtual red carpet for you and so excited you are joining us. We actually have a gift for you, our A to Z cheat sheet. The essentials for building and growing your dream practice. You can head over to our website, Private Pract. Head over to the resources tab and there you will see the A to Z cheat sheet, which actually revamped a whole bunch of things. So with the A to Z cheat sheet, you get five days of practice building help. So really excited about that. So definitely grab your copy if you haven't before. And if you are a longtime listener, we want to say welcome back. We appreciate your loyalty and being part of our Startup Nation family.

[B]

Startup Nation superheroes.

[D]

Superhero families.

[B]

I refer to you as.

[C]

Last week we were able to talk to Dr. Lisa Herman on building an online group counseling practice. You definitely want to check that out. Really cool model. And today we have Melissa Kornhouse, licensed mental health counselor who is actually a local to us. And she's in studio with us.

[B]

Yes, studio. Today Cornhouse is in house.

[C]

Now here's. Is it going to remain Cornhouse?

[D]

It's changing. In just two weeks, I will be a Buffington. Easy to pronounce it.

[C]

That sounds like a royal wedding thing, right? A Buffington.

[D]

Well, it's going to be pretty magical, so I think I'm going to feel royal on that day.

[C]

Oh, you will.

[B]

I love it.

[C]

Awesome.

[B]

So, yeah, by the time, by the.

[C]

Time the podcast airs, you will be Mrs. Buffington.

[D]

I will. Are we going to change the show notes or do we leave them?

[C]

Whatever you prefer. So cool. So Melissa's actually going to be talking to us today about the five step strategy to make more money and have extra time. And this, I have to say that this is not, this is not going to be like a regular podcast, like tips and strategies, like Melissa has actually, I feel like about a year, maybe a little less than a year. You and I met at Starbucks with your pup at the time and our good friend Susan and you were talking about kind of like this idea that you didn't know what it was going to be yet. And like all of a sudden something entered your life. And we actually met yesterday, the three of us here at Starbucks again.

[D]

Yeah. In our casual gear, right?

[C]

Yes. Our shorts and tank tops. And actually talked about what you create. And we are so inspired by that. And so if you feel like you are running the rat race or you're tired or you're tired of trading hours for dollars, you want to listen to this podcast.

[B]

You definitely do. I ran into Melissa, what, maybe six weeks ago at the Tony Robbins event down here in South Florida, and we were chit chatting on our walk to lunch and I was blown away at what she's accomplished and what she's created and how she's helping therapists to both make more money, create more time, and live the lifestyle that they really want to live. So it's really incredible. You guys are going to love this podcast.

[D]

Yeah, absolutely. And what's cool for me about being here, as I shared with you guys yesterday, little did you guys know, but this podcast was part of an inspiration for me years ago when I was setting out in my practice. And then eventually I've evolved into other things, but I set a strong intention based on what you said, Kate, about designing your business around the life that you want and that coming first above all, and then the business and the money flow after that. So thank you for that. How cool that this came full circle and I'm back here today.

[C]

That is so awesome. I love serendipity.

[B]

I know, it's awesome. I got goosebumps as you shared that, so that's really cool.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So why don't we take a quick.

[C]

Break for our sponsor?

[B]

I'm reading your mind as usual. Today's episode is sponsored by therachat. And therachat makes it easy for you to engage with your clients in between sessions. And clients love using it too. You can assign pre made or customized homework between sessions. You can transfer documents and you can send unlimited messages to all of your clients. It's also fully secure and HIPAA compliant, which is super important. There's a website and there's mobile apps as well, so it's very convenient to use. Therapists describe Therachat as revolutionary and an essential companion. Try Therachat now and experience it yourself. Use the coupon code TPPs, as in the private practice startup to get one month for free, which is worth $40. So what you'll need to do is actually go to the show notes page for this particular episode and click the link to take you directly to therachat to take adv of this opportunity.

[C]

And the really cool thing is if you want to learn more about Thera Chat and hear us talk to Chorus Koligas, the actual creator of Therachat, that is on episode 92. So we had a really great time with Cors talking about Thera Chat and how it is revolutionizing not only like therapist world, but clients world, but also the progress that they're making in sessions. So this is like, like Cora says, it's the companion outside of session or in between sessions. So why don't we jump into Melissa's topic and everything that you guys have waiting for? So like we said, this is the five step strategy to make more money and have extra time. And I guess I would like to know, like, obviously, like I kind of go back and think about that time at Starbucks. So like you kind of like saying this out there in the world, like, when did you create this clear intention? And when you create intentions, do you let go of what it's going to look like and just wait for it to show up? Or did you kind of create like, this is what I want it to look like. I love that you're smiling.

[D]

And the people on the podcast, it's.

[C]

Like, I can't wait for this story. The people watching us live on that video, they see what's happening.

[D]

That's such a great question because this is really the magic sauce. You know, everybody wants a game plan, a blueprint, a strategy. They want tips. They want the latest and greatest on hijacking productivity and lifestyle design and this and that. But it really all comes back to starting within yourself and what you're talking about in these intentions. And so my intention in the conversation that we had was in this success that I had very rapidly in my practice, I found myself falling back into this pattern of grinding, right? I'm just going and going and going morning, noon and night, addicted to my computer, addicted to networking, addicted to my spreadsheets, tracking my networking. At the end of the day, I was exhausted. I loved my clients, but I also found that my intention of keeping it at 15 clients, it became like, no, I want 20, I want more money. I want. And then lost sight of the client and I lost sight of the service and the passion that brought me into this Work to begin with. And this is after, you know, years and years and years of grinding like a mad woman in graduate school, like, morning, noon, and night. I had a blossoming social life, you know, relationship. I was traveling all over the place. I was working, I was volunteering. I was babysitting my nieces. I was in grad school, you know, all of this, and I can do it. And people would always be like, wow, how do you get it all done? And I feel so good in those moments, Right. But it's such a temporary high because at the end of the day, my life was not what I wanted it to be. And there was definitely not room for a family in there, for just downtime. I didn't even know what that looked like or what I'd do with it if I had it. And so as I got things going in my practice and I saw where it was headed, I stopped myself and I said, well, this isn't it. This is the dream for a lot of people. Private practice, absolutely. It brings you more freedom, more income. It can be wonderful. But this is not it. I'm still grinding, and if I want more, I've got to grind more. So in talking with you is around this time that I decided there's got to be a better way. I don't want a group practice. I don't want that responsibility. I don't want to do group therapy. I mean, I've done it. I love it. It's great. But I don't want that. I just don't know. I don't have an answer. And so my intention was from a pure heart, wanting to serve and wanting to love my life. And I think that in doing that and not having pressure around it, not having all this frantic energy of, oh, my God, I need to do more and I need more money, and I can't make it. Just sending that out there and being kind of excited about where that would lead kind of brought me to where I am today in the businesses that I'm running now.

[C]

I love your intention, wanting to serve. And you said, live the life that you want or life that you want.

[D]

Live the life that I love. Yeah.

[C]

It's interesting because I. We talk a lot about, like, money stuff, and I know I had to do a lot of my own work on my money beliefs, actually getting into private practice, and still I'm constantly faced with them today. And my, like, one of my number one beliefs in the background is that I have to work hard to make money. So I have to watch when that creeps up all the time, you know what I mean? And really just be aware of that because like, you're right. Sometimes you feel like if you're not doing something, then you're not doing something to move forward and excel and then you're like wasting time or you're missing the dollars or you're missing the growth and.

[D]

Right.

[C]

And it's funny because I shared with you guys today, I watched myself when I went home last night at 8:45.

[D]

Which is really early for me.

[C]

And I felt like, oh, I have this time and space. And I like watch myself, like you said, go to my computer and start working. And I'm like, what am I doing?

[B]

And then I wake up in the morning and I'm like, I see all these email flood. I'm like, whoa, she was at it last night till like 12.

[D]

Her little fingers must be cramping.

[C]

I want to need to set some more boundaries.

[D]

But yes, that is what happens. And it's funny because you'll find a lot of people will find themselves circling around in this pattern and rounds and around and you use a strategy or you get something working right and you got a couple days where you're like, hey, I went to the beach, I feel great. Hey, I took a vacation, I feel great. But then it creeps back up these thoughts, what am I missing? What the hell is my email inbox going to look like when I get back? Maybe I should just pop them there and shoot a couple things off. Right? And what. That's not what we want when we go on vacation. We want to be able to turn on and turn off. And that's one of the steps in this strategy. It's about really just mastering your own mind, mastering your own self. Because there are always going to be conditions in the world that complicate things for us. In the therapy world, it's a client who's got a crisis or it's a billing change with insurance. These things are always going to happen. The only thing that you can control and master is all in you and within yourself. So it starts there with the intention and it's. You've got to be able to pull outside of yourself and make a massive shift in that process.

[B]

So share with us some of the ways that you help therapists to make this shift in their mindset and in their relationship with themselves and their business.

[D]

Sure. So a lot of times therapists or other business owners, they work with service providers, but only a certain type. I only work with the committed service providers who are willing to do what it takes because it's uncomfortable to make changes. I think that when you're coming in and you're exhausted and you're overworked and you've got to do lists running on a roll, you know, I think of like a typewriter where the paper just comes in and out, just constantly adding. When you come in in that place, you've got to be willing to break free of that. It means letting go of a lot of things that feel good, a lot of habits and patterns. So one of the first things that we do is we look at who you are. We go back to the roots of what really drives you and what your true gifts are. From there, we bridge into all of the domains that are part of mastering work life balance, which once you do that, that's where you can scale your business. That's where you can have time off and different opportunities open up that you didn't even think were possible. So we dive into everything from knowing yourself to how that plays out in relationships. And relationships is a huge one, guys. This is something I specialize in my practice, which I'm scaling back, but relationship therapy. Because relationships can be one of the most powerful accelerators for your progress and for opening up. I mean, you may not think it's possible, right, to make 40 grand in a month, working 15 hours a week, but believe me, it is. And if you don't believe me from my life, you can look it up. There are people doing this all over the world. A lot of people have this idea that, you know, if I'm going to want more money, I have to work hard, or if I'm going to scale my business, there's a ton of responsibility and tasks that come with that. And it's just going to get harder and harder, and it becomes overwhelming. It's just the idea of it. It's where you feel stuck. And the moment I recognize that is when I made a shift for myself. So we look at relationships and what's showing up there, because that's your screen, that's a mirror image back to you of what's happening within yourself. And when you've got the right tools and the right support to make changes based on the feedback you're getting. So a common one would be a client complaint, right? In the therapy world, you've got a client who maybe is constantly showing up five minutes late, or maybe a client who reschedules every other week, or maybe a client who just, you know, has a big issue with something that you did or you changed a policy or increased your fee, when that's coming back to you, that's feedback. And if you don't know how to take that, turn that around within you, sit with the negative feeling. Shift it to where you want to be. Make an intention and direct that you're missing out on the growth, because that's where it is. So, anyways, I got really into that piece, but relationships are so powerful, so we dive into that. There's a lot.

[C]

It's funny, as you sit here, I'm, like, really captivated by you, because obviously you will not. Obviously, you and I have kind of a connection even outside of here and our personal growth and things like that. And I remember one thing that I don't think I've actually ever talked about on a podcast is I did karate for seven years, so 12 to 19. And my karate master was just an amazing person. And it always seemed like whatever issue I was having, he would speak about that that day. I wouldn't tell him. He would just speak about it. And it was like, the message. And I'm like, sitting here listening to you and all the things that she's talking about, I'm like, okay, well, when Kate and I go away to build the course. Okay. We're creating lifestyle, because that's what we talk about anyway. So we got to connect with that first. Oh, okay. And then we're sharing some stuff with you about today. I was like, okay, Yep. That's feedback.

[D]

Okay, great.

[C]

So I just, like, appreciate how.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Connected you are. And, you know, you're just. It's like a dual purpose for us today. It's not just information as you're answering a lot of questions, which I think is cool. The other thing I'm thinking, and I'm only saying this because I'm sure some of you listening are like this. So I had read a book called Spiritual Marketing by Joe Vitale. And I'm reading the book, and it's all a lot about what you're talking about, about mindset. So I'm in, like, chapter seven, and I'm like, where's the strategy? Where's the strategy? And I'm like, katie, that's right. Spiritual marketing. So it's an inside job. It's all about the inside. So for those of you who are listening that are natural doers, just relax, hang back, and continue to listen, because this is such an important part.

[D]

Yeah. And, you know, it's great for me to hear that, because I was the ultimate doer, guys. I'm like a master doer. I'm like a ninja of task smashing. And it used to be my jam.

[C]

I think I want to hashtag that.

[D]

Task smashing.

[B]

That's awesome.

[D]

I've been, like, flowing with the words this week.

[C]

I know.

[D]

Yeah. And it's just shifted so much for me to be in this position where I am at such ease in my life and things are just flowing is incredible.

[B]

That's awesome.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That's so cool.

[C]

So tell us some more. So we're talking about lifestyle, relationships, feedback, shifting feedback.

[D]

What more can I tell you? I can tell you that one of the first things people need to do to start to make this shift, too, is to begin to dream again and to really let go of some of the limitations or the ideas of what this has to look like for me to scale my business and have more time. Most people, when you think about that, probably think, raise your fees, right? That's your first thought. What if that's not the only way? Okay, so maybe passive income. What does that even mean? What do you want? Is that going to give you what you want? Do you want to be on your computer? I mean, really open it up and instead of coming up with a solution of what you want, like, close your eyes and just dream, Imagine what it would be like. I mean, I've had dreams just unfolding for me left and right in the last, you know, six months to a year. I met the band I've always wanted to meet. They came. Amanda Seth, Florida Incubus.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, that's cool.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

How do I feel? Like I saw pictures on social media, wasn't it?

[D]

You did?

[C]

Okay, Just checking.

[D]

Yeah. These things are just so exciting. I want to share it with the world. And, you know, it's funny, I just want to say this. If while you're listening to this, you're finding yourself irritated or frustrated or bothered by what I'm saying, turn it back and ask yourself why. Because if there's something here that you're seeing that you want or something that you are like, no, that's not possible. This doesn't make sense. There's something there. There's an opportunity for you to shift it. So just catch yourself while we're talking. Observe your body, observe your thoughts and where you're going. This is a good opportunity. But I was speaking about dreams, right? So my bucket list has just been ticking off. I met my favorite bands. We're going to Malta in a couple of weeks. I'm getting married at a historic mansion in Chicago. I've got the income I want, the Freedom. I want. The clients that are showing up for me are inspiring me. We always say our clients are here to teach us, but, oh, my, this is a totally different level. These are the things that are possible. So just imagine if there was no limit on money, there was no limit on time, if there was no limit on what's possible here. What would you want your life to look like morning, noon, and night? That's where I started, and that's how I began to map out, based on your little comment, Kate, in that podcast, for me, what I wanted, and I.

[C]

Love that, because even in our marketing course, that's where we start, is lifestyle business and also dreaming and part of the exercise. And that's how they start the course is actually go to a place, whatever your peaceful place is here in South.

[B]

Florida, a guided imagery visualization, helping them to really get clear on their dream private practice and dream lifestyle first before doing anything else.

[C]

If someone.

[B]

So fascinating to hear how that one little comment sparked this inspiration within you and has changed. You've gone on this whole journey to change so much more within yourself, and now you're taking that message and helping so many other clinicians all over the place to change their lives and to experience a dream lifestyle. It's, like, really powerful. I got goosebumps, like, five times while you were talking just now. Hear the passion, and you can hear how you're just so connected to this. And it's also an alignment. And you're helping the people that you're called to help in the best way possible. And then you're experiencing their growth, and.

[C]

It'S just like this reciprocal, energetic relationship.

[D]

Absolutely. That is it. That is exactly what it is.

[B]

Igniting, you know, that's so inspiring.

[D]

And that little comment that you made, like, unknowing to you, that's the power of an intention. That's the power of working inside out. Is that any little thing that you listen to, any little tip that you implement when you're in the right state of intention with open ears and open eyes, one little comment can shift the whole direction for you. I mean, it's like, I don't know if I have a good analogy for this, but. Oh, I do. Bowling, right? So you can bowl. And if you come up along the side, you roll your ball up along the side, you can knock a couple pins, right? But what you really want to do is aim right for the center pin. And when you hit it just at the right angle, all the other ones fall down naturally, and you've got a strike that's how it works. When you're working inside out, the little action that you take is that center pin that you're honed in on, and everything else falls down, falls apart, and what you want comes together.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

I like that analogy. And it's the same amount of effort. It is the maximum or less and maximum results. And it's funny you mentioned bowling because I am always very, like, watching myself and, like, strategy, structure, technique, or whatever. And it's funny because it's like, I noticed when I would bowl, like, I would take. And you try to, like, whip the ball really hard when you don't know how to. And you do this, like, whip, and you hurt your wrist, and you're like.

[D]

Just look at your shoulder. Yeah.

[C]

And what you realize is, like, actually, I could just, like, push it with my fingertips, and if I actually just sent it, like you said, right down the middle, it would knock everything over. Like, we try to effort so much in our lives. Well, I'm speaking for myself.

[D]

Well, most people do. I mean, I was called to do this for a reason. This is an epidemic of addiction to busyness. It is.

[B]

He checked. People wear it like a badge.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Honor, how are you?

[D]

I'm so busy.

[B]

I'm so stressed. I have so much on my plate, I don't have a second to breathe. And it's not something to be proud of.

[D]

No, it's not working for us. When I hear people say that it is. It's manifesting in our bodies and in our diseases and in our relationships. And when I see someone say that, I try to just hold a space and be very compassionate because I've been there. And I was reading a magazine when I was waiting to go come in here, and it's talking about all these strategies and the schedule you need to have in the routine for losing weight. And, you know, and it's like, dang, there's a formula for this. And you don't need to learn all the tips and all of the what's good for you, what's bad for you, Sugar's, you know, killing you and causing. You don't need to learn all of that. Once you master the blueprint of starting on the inside and you've got the right support to pull you out of which you can't see. Everything flows. And all of the domains, the relationship, the lifestyle, the exercise, the health, money, all of it comes together at one time.

[B]

What are some of the biggest barriers that you see therapists facing towards making these changes and shifting their mindset?

[D]

Taking feedback As a rule, Right. So someone tells you, oh, well, you can't do that. You want to work 15 hours a week and make 50 grand a month, or you can't do that. Oh, you want to have a group practice. So you've got to do solo practice for three to five years. And then you've got to consider there's always another level of what you can't do. And yes, it's other people's limitations being put onto you, but it's also feedback about what you're scared is the reality that you have to do all these things in this order to get these things that you want. And it's not true. So if you can just decide, I'm just going to mindfully observe this feedback and take it for what it is, and then I'm going to get the right support to be able to look at it for myself, make meaning of it, and then shift and get to where I want to be instead of just feeling limited and freaked out and irritated. That's the barrier most people need to overcome. Stop listening and start creating from within yourself.

[C]

Nice Talk about radical responsibility.

[D]

Awesome. I love that. So radical responsibility is what we all try to teach our clients. And we think that we understand when we talk about boundaries, but as with any topic, there's another, always another level, another level of understanding when you experience it. So radical responsibility looks like what I talked about earlier. The client who comes in five minutes late every week, it's looking at that and going, hmm, I'm contributing to this somehow, or this is a reflection of me somehow. And what is that? What do I need to do with that? Where do I go with that? Now I'm feeling all this feeling. It's not blaming the client and it's not excusing them either, or ignoring them. It's using it as an opportunity for both yourself and for them.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

And it's really uncomfortable thing when you begin to understand that everything that you experience is just your perception and it's all your responsibility. And it can be terrifying. And I see a lot of people get paralyzed here if they don't have the right strategy to move through that and the support to propel that, like, oh, my God, I'm causing this into. I'm causing this. That's so empowering because now I can change it, right? Yeah.

[C]

I love that. I teach my clients that. And I also. That's one of my mantras in life is, you know, live life with total responsibility. And that feedback is so important. I remember like a few years ago in supervision, even though I had a cancellation policy. Like, my interns, like, one day, three interns, one canceled 45 minutes before supervision, one canceled, like, two hours, and one canceled like, the night before. My policy is 24 hours. And I think at that time, because the supervision, you know, here in Florida is two years. Like, I gave them two freebies. And it was like I was. I was driving. Yeah, I was driving. And I actually was, like, talking to my mom about this, and I was, like, pissed off and, like, irritated and. And again, then I just was like, well, where's my responsibility in this? And it's. So. I'm not clear, you know? And so then that's when I create an addendum. And we all talked about it. They signed it. It's clear now. You require 24 hours. Even if you're feeling sick, Call me the day before. Hey, not sure if I'm gonna make it. And now it's clear. And that. And when we take complete responsibility for our life and what you're saying is allowing everything to kind of as stuff shows up in your life as use that as a growth opportunity and accept that you're part of that, that you've created, that it's not a judgment or like, when we talk about, like, bad things happening and things like that.

[D]

It's.

[C]

There's something that's occurred and. And I love that because it's all. I always am, like, oh, this is interesting. Like, what am I creating? Like, this is interesting. I get curious about. Right? This is really interesting. And being able to, like you said, like, transform that not only for other people, but for ourselves. And then when we stay in the blame, we get caught in, like, we're talking about, you know, the victim triangle, and it just stays stuck, and there's no ability to move from that.

[D]

But you know what? A lot of people are really comfortable in the victim. Trian. Yeah, a lot of people are super comfortable there. And as therapists, we would be the last one. Sometimes as self aware as we can be, hoping that you guys aren't the crazy ones out there, just have none. As self aware as we can be, we can get ourselves caught in the victim and go around complaining about all the people in Belka rid town that have all this money and don't want to pay my fee or complain about it or all the people we can get caught in that. And guess what? There are a thousand people who are going to validate that for you and say, you're right. I had that happen to me too. And doesn't that suck? And that's great. If you want to stay comfortable there and not take responsibility, go for it.

[C]

Well, and I think the place to look is are you achieving the goals.

[B]

And dreams that you desire?

[C]

And if the answer is no, then what is it that you're wanting or willing to do about that?

[D]

And there's always an excuse. There's always a, well, it's because of this or it's because I have to do that. But no, turn it back around. And if something is showing up in your life that feels like the answer, it feels like something different. It feels exciting. Follow that. Don't listen to what people tell you you've got to do. Yeah.

[C]

As you say that I actually did some work with a colleague here in Florida. And what came up out of that was like, Katie, you have this thought in the background of the therapist. Shame, right? Because naturally in alignment, I'm truly a coach. Like that's just even as I did, like I did a course called Mission of Millions. And you go back when you were a kid and what did you want to be? And I wanted to be a teacher. And I would, even during homework, when I would do my own homework in grade school, I would pretend I was the teacher. And as I'm going through, yes, I would like literally call on kids and imaginary children or whatever and what we're doing. And I'm like, as I'm doing. I got annoyed because I'm like, I have anything but a teacher. I'm not a teacher. And I was like, I'm a therapist. Wait a second. I am everything that I do. I've been in management and leadership since I was 26 years old. The stuff that we do, private practice, startup and so being able to allow myself to kind of come into alignment with truly who I am as a person and my natural talents and allowing yourself to let go of some of the stuff that might keep you where you're at. And I think we're in the greatest day and age for therapists nowadays. We're like way out of Freud's time. This is not psychoanalysis. You're not laying on the couch. And there's so much experiential creativity in practice today. So really just allowing your guys selves to dream big and really just bring in everything that you love and desire to your work. And if you no longer even want to be a therapist and you're listening to this and you're questioning that, that's okay too.

[D]

Just sit with that. It doesn't mean you have to make a change overnight. It doesn't have to be terrifying. If you feel something that's a little bit scary, sit with it and move towards it and get curious about it.

[B]

It's so funny because we teach other people to do this stuff all day long. We work with our clients on this and then we talk about all the time how business is this mirror. And we all have business that comes up for us because the journey of an entrepreneur is a very windy, twisty, turvy up and down, all sorts of, you know, it's definitely not a straight line. So there's going to be lots of stuff to get curious about and really look into. So I feel like we could talk about this forever for days and weeks. But it's been so great to have you here on the podcast today, just kind of scratching the surface a little bit. And I hope that this podcast is really inspired you guys to get curious about yourself and your relationship with your business and your lifestyle as well. And if you feel like you're living that and it's in alignment, awesome. That's amazing. We're so excited for you. And if you feel like there's some changes that you want to make, that's awesome too, you know. So we hope you've inspired some, I don't know, new level of awareness, I guess.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And most of you have a giveaway?

[D]

I do, absolutely. So if some of what I've talked about today has really resonated for you, you do feel that you are the type of business owner who is committed and is willing to have someone guide them over the fear of dreaming big and knowing that you can accomplish that, then you're the right person for this. And you can schedule with me. I've opened up some time on my calendar and I'll consistently keep it open. You can schedule with me a complimentary 45 minute breakthrough call. And on that call, I'm going to talk you through. We're going to dive deep and figure out exactly what's getting in your way of being exactly where you want to be and the exact steps that you need to take to be able to get there.

[C]

Awesome. And so you can visit the Show Notes page and the information is there to schedule that call with Melissa. And you had also put down some books, so the Power of youf Outwitting the Devil, which is an awesome book. I loved that book and I actually listened to it audio as well. And Money, Law and Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks, which I actually got to see Esther on my Alaskan cruise in 2014.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

It was cool. Yeah. You and I could, like, talk forever now. It would be like time would pass and we wouldn't even know. Yeah. So, Startup Nation, thank you so much for joining us today. We hope that this, as in marketing, as we talked about it, sometimes this might agitate you and it might agitate you into action. Right. And we might dissuade you into also kind of living in the dream life. So we hope that for the doers out there, you could sit with this podcast and just really take it in. And so we want you guys to join us next time for Melody Wilding for get your practice PR ready. So we hope you'll join us next week and as always, share with your colleagues, friends. I'm sure you have a colleague or friend that really needs to hear this podcast and not only a therapist, but any entrepreneur that might be struggling with this stuff and is really ready to step back and do it from the inside out.

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

So thank you, Melissa. Thank you, Startup Nation superheroes. And we'll catch you next time.

[B]

We'll see you next time.

[A]

Thanks for joining us on the private practice startup. Visit theprivatepracticestartup.com for awesome resources, free trainings, attorney approved private practice paperwork, and so much more.