← Problems to Profit
Problems to Profit
The Power of Leading with Love: Lee Richter on Owning Your Identity, Rewiring Your Mindset & Thriving in a Man’s World
01:14:28
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- [00:00]
Preston Brown
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- [01:09]
Amber Spears
Welcome back to Problems to Profit. You know, every time I start an episode, I am so excited. I am always excited about my guests, but I have to say this, I'm a little more excited today than I have ever been starting a podcast. I got introduced to this beautiful, amazing queen of a woman and we will get into who she is. But she is the second woman on my podcast. Yes, it was a bit of a sausage fest at first and we are finally getting a little more feminine energy. And I got introduced to her by a friend that was like, you have to meet Lee, you have to meet Lee. You have to meet Lee. And at first I thought Lee was actually a boy's name, so I didn't know who I was meeting. And then I meet this gem of a woman and I purposely didn't look her up before I met her. I purposely didn't follow her. I didn't do anything. I listened to meet Lee. She's amazing and I trust the friend and I got to sit with her and I got to have dinner and I got to experience Lee, which is so the right way to meet someone. And I got to hear stories and I got to just share in an ambiance that was absolute epic greatness. Like, there is a permanence in every word that this woman says that like, brings energy to your heart and soul and makes you believe what's possible. I was so thrilled when she agreed to come on, I did look her up after. Like, I went home after that dinner. I researched this woman, and I'm like, oh, my goodness. I mean, if you've heard my story, you know, my experience with imposter syndrome, and I love imposter syndrome because that is the time when you know that God is about to give you some type of breakthrough. But I have so much admiration for the woman that you are about to be privileged to hear from. Lee Richter is a queen. Lee Richter is a queen over kings. She is a woman that knows everyone, has changed lives, has mentored the greats. She sits in the boardrooms with people that I hope she'll name drop a little bit of because she's sought after. She was one of, and I hope we get into this. The top 100 innovators in San Francisco. And, guys, that's Silicon Valley. Like, she is a world changer. And I don't have to explain this, I don't have to tell you this, but as we hear her story, you're gonna get to feel her. She's humble. She's pure, she's genuine, she's authentic. She's love. She'll talk about what she's gone through, she'll talk about what she's going through, she'll talk about what she's done. But it's all. There's no brag. There's pure purpose. And so, without further ado, guys, I am so thrilled, so excited, so honored to introduce somebody that I'm like, I'm actually a fan girl sitting here with you, Lee. Like, I'm so thrilled that we are doing this together, and I'm gonna get to share you with. With my community. Welcome to Problems to Profit. And thank you so much for coming on. I'm so excited.
- [04:12]
Lee Richter
Me, too. I am. And I'm like, wait, I want to know this person. Thank you for that introduction. And you didn't read a word. It's all from your heart. And that just means so much to me, and I feel very honored to be here with you. I feel like we're in paradise right now.
- [04:25]
Amber Spears
Well, we are. And can I plug paradise a little bit?
- [04:28]
Lee Richter
Absolutely.
- [04:29]
Amber Spears
So your environment, guys, the environment you create is going to be the environment that creates you. And your environment's a choice. Lee and I are both members of a mastermind called Four Rooms. They're not paying us a dollar to say this.
- [04:43]
Lee Richter
We're paying them.
- [04:44]
Amber Spears
We're actually paying them to be here. But there's not a lot of rooms like this where everyone you meet, you will admire, not because you're better, but they are better than you at something, and they can teach you something. And I. I mean, Four Rooms, look it up. We are both members. It is something that if you. It is the most dangerous group I've ever been a part of. And let me frame this, because everybody.
- [05:10]
Preston Brown
In this group is a leader.
- [05:11]
Amber Spears
Everybody in this group is the tip of the spear. Everybody in this group is as dangerous as they can be. But it's also the safest group because nobody here wants a thing from you. They just want you. They want part of you to grow with. And it is magic.
- [05:28]
Lee Richter
So it is true. It is the most community I've ever been in. I think part of it is because we have a woman leader. I mean, Amber Spears is one of these people that is a magnet for great people, but she's such a giver that it teaches all of us that that is the theme of the group is to be givers. And we all do. And I love it. And it's from the heart. It's really natural. It's not even, you know, manufactured. It just happens. So I agree with you. Amber Spears and Four Rooms is a place that I want to be. I'm always here. I have not missed a meeting. Doesn't matter where it is. I want to be there.
- [05:59]
Amber Spears
It's funny. I'm gonna have to hit Amber up and be like, we're advertising you now. Just FYI, Just so you know. Cause after they all hear from you. Lee, once we get into your story, once we get into just some of the lessons in life that you've gone through and some of the ways that you can serve this community. I have a sneaking hunch some of you guys will be reaching out. No, we do not get any compensation if you do. But, Lee, would you do me a favor?
- [06:18]
Lee Richter
Yes.
- [06:19]
Amber Spears
Would you just dive in with us like. Like, take us through a little bit? Like, I mean, I. We can go through the ending, and we can talk about successful companies launched and exited. We can talk about, like, all of the amazing things, being in the top 100, the who's who that you know. And all of that's cool, and I'd love you to share that. But, like, problems to profit is not just about who you are today. It's what you've gone through to become the prophet that you are. Because the words you've said have been prophetic. And most of the profit that comes in our lives, monetarily or in any other way, comes from the person that we elevate up to. And when I have somebody at your level, I like to hear the story that made them. Would you take us through some of the problems that made you the prophet?
- [07:04]
Lee Richter
Wow. I would be happy to. I don't even know what to say. I'm just gonna riff with you. But I will say, you know, every single day, I start with an affirmation in the morning as soon as I wake up and I say, today's the happiest day. And I love my life. And I think having that in my life for the last 20 plus years has really given me a head start every day into living into today's the happiest day. And even when my daughter was 4, 5, 6 years old, she'd be like, mom, how do you know today's the happiest day? I'm like, cause we're in it. This is the one we have. Let's be present in today and make it the happiest day. We're happy just cause we have this day. And now she's 20 and now she recites it back to me. She sends me memes. Today's the happiest day. And I love my life. And every single day we share that because we want to start in a spiral up, right? I think a lot of people wake up in the morning and they're like, I'm tired, I don't want to go to work. And they're realizing. And I'm realizing they're starting in a spiral down and they have to dig themselves out. And I think the number one thing I learned at an early age is the only thing that we can control is the way we think about things, right? Our perspective and our reaction comes after that. And so early on, I learned really to set the tone for the day. And I'm really grateful that people have taught me. It's all in our head. It all starts here. If we're gonna have a great day or a miserable day, it's our brain telling us that's the path we're on. So I think when I was about five or six years old, my mom started putting me in commercials, right? I was actually in a thing called Little Miss America, made it into the finalist and then got an agent, became a SAG member, Screen Actors Guild, and started doing commercials. And when I was 6 to 12, I did 20 different commercials. Oscar Mayer hot dogs, Clairol shampoo, Wonder Bread, all these different things. Ringo Lipton noodle soup, like all these fun things. And what I learned is I started advertising and Marketing. Back when I was five and six years old, I was behind the camera as the talent, but I could see how the set worked, I could see how the team worked, and I could see how bringing a brand to life worked. And I didn't realize I was in PR and marketing that early. Until about 10 years ago I was with them.
- [09:17]
Amber Spears
That makes so much sense. You literally started with a pre frame in life. Like, the information age is over. It's the entertainment age now.
- [09:26]
Lee Richter
It's the entertainment age.
- [09:26]
Amber Spears
You learned communication starting at 5.
- [09:29]
Lee Richter
I learned communication, but I also learned I was the little girl behind the camera. And there were nine men that were working to make it work. But I was in charge. Early on, I realized I commanded the whole room. If I wanted to do something, we did it. If I didn't want to do it, we didn't do it. And so now I'm in all these boardrooms and all these rooms where it's 99% men, and I'm totally at home and comfortable there. And I realized it started because of those moments when I was a child.
- [09:56]
Amber Spears
Before we go through the beginning journey, which I do want to hit, let's hit some of the resume bullets on the end of the journey. I kind of like to start on the end of the story.
- [10:03]
Lee Richter
Okay.
- [10:04]
Amber Spears
And then build up to how we got there. Give us, like, from your words. Cause I can accolade you all day long, and it's fun and it's easy. But I'd love to hear, like, some of the boardrooms you're in. You're in boardrooms with world changers. Like, you're going to an event in the next, what, week or two?
- [10:19]
Lee Richter
Oh, in three days.
- [10:20]
Amber Spears
In three days. Like, you've come down to Scottsdale, Arizona, with us, and then after you leave this event with us hanging out, who are you hanging out with? What are you doing? What are you setting up?
- [10:28]
Lee Richter
Just a few people, actually. I'm very, very, very honored to be part of a Zenith group with Tony Robbins and with Dean Graziosi. And they have created an intimate group for Tony to actually come and mastermind with his friends and with chosen people he brought in. And I feel very honored that I'm part of that group. But when you talk about how we succeed in life, you're right. It's the rooms and the environment we put ourselves in. And in that room, I have proximity and access to ideas that are global leader, ideas that are already executed at a highest level. And these people have already accomplished what they want. And I see what's next. What, what do they want to do next? And a lot of times it's co create with other people in the room to bring goodness into the world. Right? They've already accomplished making money, they've already accomplished all those things and now they're at the part of how do I do better self development and how do I do more give back. And I think that is my favorite part of this journey is to be in this phase right now of how can we be impact for good. I actually started an Impact for Good foundation just to look for causes that are doing well and I can actually help support them. And I think that's just by being in these rooms and watching other leaders ahead of me get more fulfilled from this phase with people that have direct access to some global leaders and they are their spiritual guides as well. And luckily I have access to them too. And actually one of them sent me a note this morning that changed my life. You know, I'm like, here it is Sunday morning and you're thinking of me and sending me a note. And he's like, no, I'm compelled. I have to share this with you right now. And I think it's just from access in those rooms. But they also see how much I want to be impact for good, how much my heart wants to be that. And so then they're like, wait, let me multiply that with you. And I think that's what happens when a lot of leaders get to this point is we want to see how we can be more impact for good. And then the co creation is even easier. Other people show up.
- [12:21]
Amber Spears
I want to get into your story next, but where I'm feeling I'd like to go with this podcast because we're riffing like we have no script. This is just a pure riff is you are this power player, you're this queen, you're this advisor, I'm this human being in experience. But you're also a woman. And one thing my wife tells me all the time is women have a very different relationship to fear imposter syndrome and a lot of times inferiority complexes just based on maybe things that are no longer real in today's society but are still felt.
- [12:55]
Lee Richter
It could be eight generations back.
- [12:56]
Amber Spears
Absolutely.
- [12:57]
Lee Richter
It could be with our grandparents that we didn't even know our great grandparents, but they're energy has been passed through us.
- [13:03]
Amber Spears
And unlike 20 years ago, unlike 30 years ago when everyone in Wall street was a man, 49% of corporate boards on Wall street now are now women. I see more women Entrepreneurs coming up than in many cases men, and succeeding very quickly because of the natures of how women operate. And so I'd kind of like to go, how did you like for the women, or at least for a segment of this, overcome that.
- [13:27]
Lee Richter
But before we go there, I do want to add one thing that I was thinking about as you're talking about this, if that's okay. I worked with Dan Sullivan have for years, and he taught me something maybe a decade ago. He believes that women have a built in glass ceiling. The glass ceiling's not out there. It's in our head. And a lot of people have, especially women, have a glass ceiling built in on how to stay safe. And so sometimes people sabotage their success to be safe in the family unit. So in other words, he believes the glass ceiling is. I cannot be more successful than the most successful man in my family. So the whole family is int. And I broke through that glass ceiling at 21 years old. There is no glass ceiling in my brain. And one of the reasons he chose me to be in his mastermind was because he said, I do not apologize for my ambition. And he said, a lot of women, when they get to a certain point and it's uncomfortable for them to be uber successful, all of a sudden they back off and they start lowering their ambition and dimming their light. We don't want that to happen. I absolutely want the opposite. I want them to shine even brighter. I want all of us to bring our brightest light out. And I think that's one of the things I love about Amber and this community is everyone lifts each other naturally. And I think a lot of communities, people don't know how to do that naturally. Sometimes they get jealous or sometimes they want to take the top dog down. I think what I like is to surround myself with. I want to take the top dog even higher. I want that person to even do more in the world. I want to support them to do more. And I think if more of us did that for each other, especially women, for each other. If we consistently look at what we call the win, win game. The win game, win game is when you win, I win. When I win, you win. Right. If we're looking out for each other, then we get to win together. So like me looking out for Amber and saying, when she wins, I win. I'm always looking for ways to lift her. Always looking for ways. She's just one example of someone I do that with. But I think if more of us took that approach of how do we lift other people in Our life, our team, our co workers, our collaborators. If we're looking at how do I make that person win, and when they win, I win, all of a sudden, you have a different dynamic, and the dynamic is, no one has to lose. We can all win together.
- [15:40]
Amber Spears
So I'm gonna say something a little controversial, and then I do want to dive into your story, and then we're gonna come back to this.
- [15:45]
Lee Richter
Okay?
- [15:46]
Amber Spears
I'm a pretty dynamic and sometimes polarizing guy. I can be a little abrasive and affront, and I can run a room. I sit at tables all the time, men and women at the table with me. And I've noticed a trend, and it's a trend that you break so beautifully and other women have. But you do it every time, and I love it. It's just. It's. It's so attractive in the strength that you present. Most women, when I sit at a table with them, will naturally recess because they can feel that. And maybe it's a masculine intensity. I'm not a, you know, a relationship guy or a healthy guy.
- [16:19]
Lee Richter
You're definitely an alpha or anything like.
- [16:20]
Amber Spears
That, but I'm absolutely alpha. And men sometimes will challenge, but more often than not, women won't. Every table, I've sat with you at the very best. We play together. And many times I'm eager to sit and hear you and watch you lead the table. And I think that strength is what I want to bring through and convey in that power of the feminine and that strength of the woman that so many female leaders out there. And by the way, if you're a male leader and you've hired females in your company to be leaders, male leaders that can empower female leaders can leverage this, too, by learning this and hopefully having your ladies watch this episode, teaching them how to live this. But before we dive in there.
- [17:02]
Lee Richter
Yes.
- [17:03]
Amber Spears
I want to hear what made Lee Richter. Lee Richter, can we tap into your genius?
- [17:10]
Lee Richter
I just love people so much. Thank you for that. I absolutely love people so much, and I think I'm naturally connected to, want to see people happy. And in my life, I'm a. What's in it for the group leader? I was with a woman named Margaret lynch, who was in one of my masterminds, and she went through this whole process, and in the mastermind, one of the things she noticed was 99% of the leaders are what is in it for myself, and it's just natural, and that's their internal driver. And I'm just one of those few leaders of what's in it for the group. I really want the whole group to ascend together. And so it's just natural for me to, you know, want to make sure they have enough food and water and supplies and collaboration and energy and all those things. But it's from inside. It's not because I'm trying to be pleasing. It's just because I want all of us to be copacetic together. Does that make sense?
- [17:58]
Amber Spears
It does. And you do do that. But you don't just bring gentle. Sometimes you bring firm. I watched you walk into a table of alphas, which I was one of. And by. I mean, it was 10 minutes into the table, you're running the table, and you are giving us guidance and advice. And there were male alphas, there were female alphas, like you were.
- [18:19]
Lee Richter
I don't even remember which table this was.
- [18:21]
Amber Spears
It was at dinner. And I mean, Amber was there. Like you were not afraid to tell the truth, regardless of feelings.
- [18:31]
Lee Richter
I can. Well, I do try to be gentle. And I will ask people if I have to deliver bad news, I will ask them, are they open for a conversation? So I will ask permission before I just deliver bad news.
- [18:41]
Amber Spears
I think that actually made it more palatable.
- [18:43]
Lee Richter
Okay.
- [18:43]
Amber Spears
I think that actually made the people receive what you were sending.
- [18:47]
Lee Richter
Because I think when they say they're open for it, because there are meetings that I've been into, that I have dropped a few bombs like that, that in the moment, the person's like, not happy. But then six months later, they'll come back and they'll be like, you're the only one I would have heard that from. And because I heard it, I changed this and now I'm even better. And so I've had many, many people come back months, even years later saying that one thing was so impactful and other people have said it and I didn't hear it, but for some reason I heard it from you. And I think it's cause it's heart based. And I'm not looking for anything in return. I'm not sitting there trying to sell a program. I'm not sitting there trying to get something. I'm really just in giving mode. And I really do wanna see us be a better planet together. I really do. And I have hope for us now. I own veterinary hospitals, right? One of the things I have are veterinary hospitals. And what I see is animal medicine is based on love. People want more love in their life. They want their pet to live longer so they can have more love. Human medicine is based on fear. It's A whole different experience. So even my teams, the doctors, the whole experience is how do we get our clients and our patients more love, more connection. And I think that's the through line in my life. Right. The through line in my life is how do I get more love in my life? Is it bringing me closer to love? If it is, then I want to do just isn't my motivator of just keeping people together.
- [20:05]
Amber Spears
I love that. That's beautiful. So let me take you back to five.
- [20:07]
Lee Richter
Yes.
- [20:08]
Amber Spears
Okay.
- [20:09]
Lee Richter
And I do remember five.
- [20:10]
Amber Spears
Five year old Lee starts in the entertainment industry, like at 5, pushed by.
- [20:15]
Lee Richter
My mom, though I didn't ask for it. My mom, I was living my mom's dream in that moment. And I can remember the dresses, the white gloves, the black patent leather shoes, like all those things that she used to do. But she was totally committed for me to have that kind of experience, to understand what it's like to be in this world. And I think I'm really grateful I had that experience. I will say at 12, though, I didn't want to do it anymore. I wanted to be with my friends in school. I didn't want to be taken out of school. And so my priorities changed. It was again, now I wanted the relationship with my people in the community, in my school, rather than in the community of entertainment. So things shift, right? As we age, as we get older, as our ideas change, we also get to change what we really want. And I think at 6, I wanted to do all of that. And at 12, I was done because I wanted to be with my friends. So it just matters on what phase you're in. And in that phase, I went to my parents and I said I didn't want to do that anymore because I wanted to be in school with my friends. And luckily they honored that. They weren't really thrilled about it at the moment, but it was a learning experience that I have a voice for my life.
- [21:27]
Amber Spears
Let's stay there for a sec. Because that's. I mean, there's so much to dig into that's actually profound. And I think one of the causes of unhappiness is things shift for everybody. But most of the time, like that discomfort, like your parents didn't want you to shift, your parents wanted you to stay the same. Like change, maybe that acronym, Choose Humble action necessary to garner excellence. Yay. All that. But most people don't choose it. Most people won't make that decision.
- [21:52]
Lee Richter
And so because it's getting out of this comfort lane into something that's the unknown so here's the comfort lane that we know. It's already successful. How do you shift to the next one? Right. And in entrepreneurship, guess what? We do that all the time. I think it taught me back then to see what do I really want and be okay to shift rather than stay in a lane that I'm unhappy in. And I also think you're right. A lot of people do not know how to express their true feelings. And the more that they stuff it down, I think that leads to illness. Whereas me, I let it out. Now I will ask for permission or I'll ask for a safe space. But if I'm angry or I'm having an issue, I will let it out. I'll ask my brother, can you just sit here and let me let it out just so I'm not stuffing it down? Once I hear myself say what I'm thinking, I now can deal with it differently.
- [22:38]
Amber Spears
So at 12 years old, yes, you had the strength to go really against the grain. Like, was that something always there? Was that something you had to put some thought into or was that something, how did you feel about it?
- [22:49]
Lee Richter
It took a little while. It took a little while. And what happened was I started seeing, I was missing things with my friends. They would have school, class trips and different things that were bonding them. And because I was in New York doing a commercial or being in an interview, then I was missing things that were part of my childhood. And yes, I was standing up for my own life. And I was saying to my parents, this is what would make me happy is to spend time with my friends.
- [23:11]
Amber Spears
Well, and you know, when we do, like you and I've both done a lot of self help work and when we, when we do our early life, like look backs, like a lot of times, like especially like 0 to 7, 0 to 8, 10 years old, we're living the life that our parents have set for us. Like, we're accepting the identity. Like the single thing that people will defend more than anything else on the planet is their identity. Like, people will choose to be a smoker because that's in their identity, even though it will kill them.
- [23:36]
Lee Richter
Right.
- [23:36]
Amber Spears
Like we defend our identity like nothing else. And here you are at 12 years old. Like a lot of people have breakthroughs at 20, 30, 40, 50, sometimes later in life or sometimes not at all. Right. But at 12, what made it possible for you to say, my identity is shifting? And ask yourself the questions to where you could shift with it. Like, what took you there?
- [23:58]
Lee Richter
Well, I just started noticing the feeling of missing out. And I didn't like that. I wanted to be in my circle of friends and not miss out on those great experiences. They would go to the beach, they would do all these things that I was missing. But I did have a family meeting. I asked my parents if we could have a family meeting and actually have a discussion. And it took weeks for us to actually get through all of that. To the okay, we hear you. It wasn't the first day they heard me. And you're right, they had their own agenda. They were seeing income coming in. That was supporting the family, the supporting the house, supporting our lifestyle. And it was hard for them to turn that off. Right. And I was a little cash cow for my family back then. And I realized that when I went to college and they didn't save anything, whereas it was the opposite when my daughter was making money, not only was it saved, but I added to it. So I did show up as a different parent than my parents.
- [24:47]
Amber Spears
So do you think it was something that you were born with or was it something that you were able to develop?
- [24:52]
Lee Richter
Absolutely. Born with.
- [24:53]
Amber Spears
Okay, you were born.
- [24:54]
Lee Richter
There's a few things I was born with that are through line, and that's one of them is I do speak up for myself. I do.
- [25:00]
Amber Spears
I think there's beauty in that. You learned at an early age that, hey, I have some control over my life. Like, that's the five year old lead, right?
- [25:07]
Lee Richter
Well, I learned it on the set when, I mean, literally six, seven, eight years old. And if they would ask me to do something, I said no, then I didn't do it. They couldn't make me do it. I only did what I wanted.
- [25:17]
Amber Spears
This is relevant in all stages of life. I mean, I meet so many people and they're unhappy because they're not making the decisions that would fit the identity they truly have. They're living an identity that they previously had that may not have even been theirs.
- [25:28]
Lee Richter
And we can outgrow it. And you know what, it's funny that you see because I coach a lot of, especially women in their 30s over the last 10 years being part of the San Francisco Business Times Top 100 Women Leaders list. One of the things they do is they have a mentor day every year and people come in to be mentored. And it's called speed mentoring. They each get seven minutes with us and people line up and they just get seven minutes to ask a question. And we answer it and ask a question and we answer it. And I've seen so many of those people come through 29, 30, 31 years old that say I'm a doctor because my parents wanted me to be, but I'm not happy. I'm an attorney because my parents wanted me, but I'm not happy. How can I do what you're doing? And so what I've done is taught them how to still take what their genius is but turn it into something that they would be happier with. And that they can't just please their parents their whole life and not have a happy life for themselves. And a lot of them come back a year later and tell me how much momentum they have in getting back to, to what they really want. They have to give themselves permission, but also they have to give themselves strength to go to their parents and say this is my life and this is how I'm gonna live it.
- [26:34]
Amber Spears
I wanna break something down that I'm learning sitting here. Cause I love these. They grow me. I'm a parent. I have young kids. I have a six year old girl, eight year old boy and, and boy.
- [26:44]
Lee Richter
Are they lucky to have you and Aaron as parents?
- [26:49]
Amber Spears
I try to, and I listened to this at this event. I try to give them all the things I never had, which may not always be the best thing, but hearing about your journey at 5 years old where you were given the ability to make decisions, have strength, have some power, like maybe not all the power.
- [27:03]
Lee Richter
And it was away from my parents that had more power.
- [27:05]
Amber Spears
Right.
- [27:05]
Lee Richter
It was in those circumstances that at school, you know. But they gifted you in the work situation. I did.
- [27:11]
Amber Spears
And they gifted you a level of power which you know, I would, you know, hypothesize that that's giving you at 12, when you're starting to shift, when you're starting to make your own decisions, when you're starting to have your wants and you've kind of built your own conscious level of mind and mindset that you're like, well it's my mind, it's my mindset, I can set it. I have power. I Learned this at 5 as a parent. I'm going to go back and I'm going to make sure that my little girl has something where she is in control of something.
- [27:37]
Lee Richter
Yeah. And she gets to come to tell you her decisions and what makes sense for her. It's a safe space. You're creating a safe space for her to have opinions about her life. And from zero to eight is setting us up for our whole life. So you teaching her now to do that. She'll have that skill her entire life.
- [27:52]
Amber Spears
I love this. We're Getting parenting advice. We're gonna go back to entrepreneurship. But I mean, sometimes so many people.
- [27:57]
Lee Richter
Ask me for parenting advice. And I will say, of the 50 awards that I've won in the last 10 years, the number one award that is my favorite was being a finalist for mother of the year in California. Wow. Which is a big state, right? And I was like, in the top three finalists. And I'm like, how did I get here? And it was because, number one, I wanted to be a great mom. Right? I just wanted to be like, it was innate inside of me. I wanted to be. But also, when my daughter showed up, I want her to be her own human. She's completely different than me. And I didn't try to put the square peg in round hole. I tried to let her just be whatever she is and me support her there. She's made decisions that I wouldn't have agreed with, and she knows it, but she still is strong enough that she's like, nope, here's where I'm going to college, here's the job I'm doing, and she's making her life come true because she's following her dreams, not mine. And she'll even say, mom, I can hear you, and here's what I'm gonna do. But I think I did the same thing for her that my mom did for me, was allowed her to make decisions. And I know as a mom, my job is to teach her how to take care of herself. My job is to teach her how to be independent. So for her to be independent and make those decisions tells me I did my job properly. Right?
- [29:05]
Amber Spears
This is gold. I love. We've gotten to like 12 year old Lee, and we're getting like, gold that I feel like I'm minding it.
- [29:12]
Lee Richter
I watch my daughter now and I'm like, you know, your life would be so much better as an entrepreneur. She's like, mom, I already know how to be an entrepreneur. But she's going in medicine. She's working in Boston at Children's Hospital, which is a huge endeavor. And she's 20 years old. She's working in children's pediatric emergency. This was her dream job. She told me three years ago she wanted. When she first started at Northeastern, she said, this is the job I wanted to. The whole three years she's been getting there. I, as a mom, I'm like, oh, my God, what is she gonna see? Every day she's in children's emergency pediatrics. Like, she's gonna see things that I wouldn't want her to See, but she's choosing it and I have to support her where she is. So what did I do? I work with her on what does she need now? What does she need now? What do you need today, babe? What do you need and what do you want?
- [30:00]
Amber Spears
I'm gonna shift this because this has a key point in life that you actually hit at dinner the other night. And I'm gonna remind you, you know, a mentor of mine once said, and you parroted this, not knowing the mentor and you probably wouldn't know the mentor. He's not well known. He's an El Paso guy, he's just a wonderful guy. But he's not well known, he's not on social media, nothing. He said, you know, your parents built you, your parents messed you up. The best parent you'll ever have now at this age is yourself. And when we were having dinner last night, you talked about, well, as you're raising kids, you're re parenting yourself.
- [30:32]
Lee Richter
Yes.
- [30:33]
Amber Spears
And like while there are amazing things in parenting and family that we're already getting by tracking Lee from 5 to 12, like also this, I think that 5 year old girl that learned power, gave the 12 year old girl to start parenting herself, the ability to start parenting herself at 12.
- [30:50]
Lee Richter
That's true.
- [30:51]
Amber Spears
Where you can make decisions.
- [30:52]
Lee Richter
I actually had a friend, her name is Marta Maria. She's an amazing leader and spiritual guide and she's in Mount Shasta. And my daughter was five years old. One of the things she taught me is I have the opportunity to reparent myself as I'm parenting her. So every time Abby, when she was five years old, I would imagine me, five years old sitting right next to her. And as I was parenting Abby, I could re parent myself. But also I would think what would I want? And I would go to that five year old self or six year old self, do it for me and then do it for Abby as well. So I can remember an example like when Abby was about 7 years old, you know, on a Sunday night, we're getting ready for school the next day, right? So at 6 o' clock we're doing bath, we're making lunches, making sure our homework's done. Well that day she comes to me, she goes, mom, let's go bowling tonight. She's seven, we're getting ready for school the next day. But I thought of myself seven next to her and I thought, wow, if my, like how cool would that be if we just, I said okay, we can go bowling for one game and when we come back we just have to do our stuff fast and be really efficient. But I'm thinking to myself, I'd want my mom to do that for me. So if I was 7 and my mom's like, yeah, let's go bowling rather than get ready for school, I think that was the coolest mom ever. So I got to re parent myself in that moment and be like, yep, I'm gonna say yes to that. And then also experience it with Abby in real time. Her experiencing what it was like to make her own decision. I'm gonna go have fun rather than do my work for school, but I'll get to it later. And so giving her the space to just do what she wanted to do and me meet her there actually allowed me to be more gentle with myself at the same time. So maybe at 7, there was a point where my parents said no, I just rewired it so it was a big yes. So I could let that no go.
- [32:34]
Amber Spears
We've both done a lot of self help work and there's a lot of mentors and a lot of gurus out there and they'll say, if you want a better life, you have to ask a better question. And I just want to frame a question kind of for the audience and listeners. Where is an area that you're not happy and where is an area that you need to reparent yourself? You don't need to have kids to do it. You need to have permission to communicate with yourself. You need to know that you have the. And even if you didn't have a moment where you did make one up, like imagine one.
- [32:58]
Lee Richter
Yes, it's all in our brain. And that's one of the things. Interestingly enough too, about 10 years ago, I started revisiting all of my children's stories, all the stories I remember as a child. And one of my friends said, whatever stories you remember, just think of where's the highest evidence of love and end the story there. So I started thinking these stories. Like I remember the story when I was in Little Miss America. It was at Palisades park in New York City. And I remember going with my family and I remember getting dressed up and we were on camera and like all we were on national tv, like it was a really big deal in the moment. But I also remember the next day my brother and I fighting on the roller coaster and having a fight that continued in the car. And so what happened was when I was rewiring the stories and looking for it, all of a sudden I'm like, wait, let's just Stop with the fun here and forget all the rest. Why take that in my future? It doesn't help me. And so I started looking for all the highest evidence of love in every one of my childhood stories and sticking with that. And so I love my parents more. I have a lot less trauma in my life because I'm not bringing it into my future now. I only did one story at a time so my brain wouldn't think it was all lies. I did one story at a time per month and literally made it an intention of looking for the highest evidence of love and imprinting love, love, love, love, love in my life.
- [34:14]
Amber Spears
We could, like, literally cut now. And you have given so much gold, but I'm not gonna let you stop at 12 years old. Like, what happened at 13?
- [34:21]
Lee Richter
What happened at 13? Actually, you know what? 13 was a big year. Cause my parents got divorced when I was 13, so that, thank God, I knew how to take care of myself, because they barely knew how to take care of themselves at that point. And so I was the mother for my mom at that point.
- [34:36]
Amber Spears
So let me frame this and get this straight in my mind. Up to 12, you're the income source for the family.
- [34:44]
Lee Richter
I was one of. My dad was an engineer. My mom was a nurse. They also brought in stuff, but I was. I was bringing enough that we had a very nice lifestyle.
- [34:51]
Amber Spears
And so one of the larger income sources ends.
- [34:56]
Lee Richter
I still got residuals. Oh, no, no, no. They still got checks because I had commercials that played for years.
- [35:00]
Amber Spears
Oh, wow.
- [35:01]
Lee Richter
And actually, when my mom passed away, there was this one envelope, one, like, big briefcase, and all it was was filled with check stubs from my commercials. I mean, it was hundreds and hundreds of thousands into the. Just, like, some of them were $75, some were $125, some were $300. But this is back in, like, the 70s and the 80s, right? I'm definitely telling my age here. But I could see all of those check stubs that had come in to support the family, but there were residuals that went on for years, but you.
- [35:31]
Amber Spears
Stopped the gravy train of continued growth.
- [35:32]
Lee Richter
Yes.
- [35:33]
Amber Spears
And so residuals are there, but there's not going to be new. You made big decisions, you started living your own life, and then immediately divorced, like, a year later.
- [35:43]
Lee Richter
Then my parents went through divorce. Yeah.
- [35:45]
Amber Spears
How was that?
- [35:45]
Lee Richter
And that was really shocking in the moment because my dad was such, like, the king of the household. And it's ironic because 10 years later, my dad came back to me and said the biggest mistake he ever did was divorce my mom. So they went through a very tumultuous time. There were things that happened in my life during that period that I didn't have a voice for a little bit of a time because I had to go with the flow of the family. Where were we moving? Where are we going? Am I going to the same school? And that was a little bit of a challenge because I did not have choices. The same for me at that point. But I also learned I had to make the best of what I was dealt. Right. I ended up getting a mentor at that point. He was a four star general. It was my friend's best friend. My friend's father and I used to have Sunday dinners at their house. And I started looking at him as my mentor rather than my dad. Cause I didn't have the same access to my dad as I did before. And so he's the one that taught me how to read the Wall street journal. I was 13, 12, 13 when he started teaching me. And he poured into me at a higher level than even my dad could. So I was very lucky because my best friend's father did role model for me on that. Marriage success, but also business success and financial success. I ended up getting it from that mentor and then teaching my dad. It was really the opposite.
- [37:06]
Amber Spears
Wow, talk about a polarity.
- [37:07]
Lee Richter
It was really interesting too, because when my dad came to me for that information, he actually was like, I've been watching what you're doing. I think maybe you could teach me a thing or two. And I was really humbled by that because my dad was so strong. And for him to come to me and say, I think you could teach me and I'm open to learning was really a big deal. But I will also say my parents used to tell me things like, get your head out of the clouds. Cause I'd think so big. And they were like, how could you think that big? It'll never happen. And I'm like, but in my life it will. And my first job was with Merrill lynch. And they recruited me. And I remember in that first year as a stockbroker, I made a chunk of money and I went and bought a Porsche and a house. And I remember not telling my parents I did it until it was done so they couldn't tell me I couldn't do it. So they weren't always the biggest champions for me, but sometimes they were the spark for me to do even more. I don't want to say let me show you, but there were let me show you moments like Your brain doesn't think like that, but let me show you that mine does. You know, and there were times where my mom would say, get your head out of the clouds. You'll never make that happen. And now I'm like, never say that to your kids. Tell your kids to put your head in the clouds. Think as big as possible. But my parents were afraid that I was thinking too big. And I just always think big. I like it.
- [38:24]
Amber Spears
And I love, I love the dynamic there. I love the. I mean, you're somebody that encourages everyone, but you also challenge everyone. And obviously your parents did encourage you when they put you in the shows and you had to go out and achieve. But then maybe even accidentally, they challenged you. Like, it doesn't sound like it was on purpose. They limited me sometimes and those limits became your challenges. And then like.
- [38:54]
Lee Richter
But I also had to learn.
- [38:55]
Amber Spears
I'm surprised you didn't wear a cape in here, because now you're superwoman.
- [38:58]
Lee Richter
But I had to learn when the timing of the communication. I had to learn timing of the communication. Timing is everything. And I learned timing of communication that, like I said, I didn't tell them I was getting the car in the house until after I did. So they couldn't sabotage it in their mind or mine. I wanted them just to see it was possible. I knew it was possible. It was them that had the limiting belief. Now, they didn't have the same background as me, so they didn't have the opportunity. They didn't have the parents that let them do things and built their future.
- [39:29]
Amber Spears
So when was the house and the car, like, how old were we?
- [39:32]
Lee Richter
Around 22. I was like 21 when I. When I started with Merrill Lynch.
- [39:37]
Amber Spears
21. 22 year old stockbroker.
- [39:39]
Lee Richter
How was that?
- [39:40]
Amber Spears
Like, I mean, that was. I mean, and I don't want to age date you here, but like, that was, in a man's world, pioneering.
- [39:47]
Lee Richter
It was. Very much so, actually. My name is Linda Lee. So now you know how I got Lee, Because I was in the man's world. My middle name is Ellie E. And when I was little, I used to say to my mom, why'd you give me a boy's name? When I became a broker, it was L, period. Lee. And everyone called me Lee. But my clients, when they received letters and things, for a long time they thought I was a man. And then they'd come in and meet me and they'd be so surprised. But in my office, there were 103 brokers and only three were women. And the thing is, they hired us based on the disc profile back then. And I was 99 on I and 98 on D. And the I is connecting with people, and I just love people. And that's what they want the most, is you're not afraid of people, you're not afraid to dial for dollars, you're not afraid to call people. And being a 99 on I was like their most. Plus I had the D, and that's what they wanted. And so I learned early on, too, that looking at the disc or looking at the Colby and seeing, seeing how people are hardwired and playing to their strengths is really the best to do. And so in that moment, I learned to play to my strengths. But my manager at Merrill lynch also learned to play to my strengths. They knew the formula. They knew that athletes are disciplined, and if you're disciplined, you can follow the formula. And so that is what they did, is taught us discipline.
- [40:59]
Amber Spears
I love that. Okay, so we're in.
- [41:01]
Lee Richter
By the way, my first coach was Lou Holtz with Merrill Lynch.
- [41:03]
Amber Spears
Oh, just Lou Holtz?
- [41:04]
Lee Richter
Yes, just Lou holtz. There were 50 of us chosen for a two year program. They made a specific program for us to ascend us into the CFP licensing. And so 50 of us for two years got to coach with Lou Holtz. And that taught me so much discipline, but it also taught me I have a relationship with money. And I Learned that at 21 with him is that everything is a relationship. So even with money, have a relationship that you want, have a relationship which is welcoming it, giving it a job, giving it a purpose. And so early on, I learned that they wanted us to learn it as stockbroker so we could do it with our clients. But they also wanted us to dispel every one of our limiting beliefs so we could be the best for our clients and for ourselves. So over those two years, every one of us put our money stories and get my head out of the cloud stories. And money doesn't grow on trees. We put all those stories together and one by one, we dispelled them. One by one, we dispelled them. And now looking back, I'm thinking everyone at 21 years old should do that. Why take those money stories that are our families and ancestors into our future, unless they're abundant stories. And so I saw Lou Holtz about three years ago, actually, here in Scottsdale. I saw him here, and what happened was I was able to revisit that with him. Number one, he's still the same person, still teaches the same. It was just amazing. To spend time with him. He remembered all of us from that meeting. He remembered the things he taught us and revisiting it. I could see how intentional he was about making sure we had the best relationship with money we could because it gave us so much freedom of choice. Money doesn't buy anything other than freedom of choice. And if you have a great relationship with it, you have choice, more choices. Right?
- [42:47]
Amber Spears
So I want to dive into that. I want to dive into that. It's one of my favorite things to say to my kids when they're self talking negatively. I'm like, do you know why we call the formation of words spelling? And they'll be like, huh? And I'll be like, because you're casting spells into your life, you need to only cast the positive spells or negative spells.
- [43:08]
Lee Richter
Doesn't always have to be positive, powerful spells. I think things can be negative or powerful. Powerful is not always positive, but it is taking you to your best future self.
- [43:19]
Amber Spears
Okay.
- [43:19]
Lee Richter
I think when people just try to be positive, it's fake, it's not real. But if they try to be their best future self and the best that they can be, if they're growing into their best future self, it is a more powerful position to be.
- [43:32]
Amber Spears
That's a beautiful frame. And I want to to something I know you have just like everybody else. And I want to kind of dial back into where we were on like women in boardrooms, women at that high power table, women who they almost by nature of. And maybe it's history, maybe it's generational, maybe it's. I mean, I'm not a woman. I'm not going to mansplain it. I don't know what it is, but they have a fear. Okay, well, all people do. All people do. Men do too. Like, I mean, I had imposter syndrome before this episode. Now I'm just like, are we best friends? Have we known each other for 30 years? Like, but you have that fear too. But you have a different relationship, like with money to your fear. What do you do differently? Because, I mean, you walk. I mean, I've watched you walk up to people you don't know here and you just, you overcome yourself and you bring in this amazing, incredible presence which, like, you shine through and we don't have to see. Just.
- [44:28]
Lee Richter
I didn't even know that. That you see me that way. Thank you.
- [44:32]
Amber Spears
I didn't see you. I got to feel you first. Okay. Like, I didn't.
- [44:36]
Lee Richter
I think it comes from the. I really do love people. Like, I just love to see People thrive. I love to see people do a.
- [44:41]
Amber Spears
Great job, and I know that that's true. But I want to dive into your relationship to fear. Like, can you give me some examples of when you were scared and what you did to overcome it? Because, you know, I say all. Most of my companies. There's one now not. But most of my companies are run by women because you're smart, and they are smart.
- [45:02]
Lee Richter
The thing I learned in finance between the hundred men and the three women is the women pay attention to details differently, but also we pay attention to our instincts differently. So there would be things that would happen in the boardroom that my instincts would say, this isn't right. But the guys didn't have that same barometer. But three days later, they would figure it out. I just would figure it out just from my gut and listen. And so.
- [45:24]
Amber Spears
But unlike most, I bet you spoke up. You didn't wait for three days.
- [45:29]
Lee Richter
It matters on the room. Some rooms, I don't say anything. I just sit and learn. And actually, I learned that from Lou Holtz, too, because he had the 50 of us, and he's like, just so you know, to our company, you're the brightest and the smartest. But guess what? You know what? You know already. So when you're in rooms like this, sit and listen to what other people know, and that's how you learn. And so I have masterminds that I. That I'm in that I hardly say anything unless they ask me or unless they're actually missing something. And I can add something that no one thought about. But generally, I'm better one on one.
- [45:57]
Amber Spears
When you have the fear, like, give me some examples of. I want to dial in, because this is like. This is what I want to, like, pull from you on your genius, because I think it's a. And I hope you can articulate it with me. When you have that relationship to fear or imposter syndrome or however you describe it, how do you see it? How does it show up? How do you overcome it, deal with it, and then dive in and be the Lee Richter that we all get to see now?
- [46:24]
Lee Richter
So it's interesting you brought up imposter syndrome, because I don't understand that, because to me, I'm like, just be yourself. To me, I never have felt imposter syndrome ever. And it was interesting because my partner, after 30 years, let me know he was having imposter syndrome or something. And I'm like, why? We've been on this track for 30 years. I know everything you've done. You've done everything you said you were going to do, but it still was in his head. So my brain just doesn't go there. I don't go to imposter syndrome. I just go to be my authentic self. I know what I've done and what I bring, but I cannot think of a time. I can think of times where I'm like, woo, am I really ready to do this? But I just fill the gap and get ready. I don't sit there and put myself up.
- [47:02]
Amber Spears
You don't go into a comparison. Like, I think imposter syndrome's born out of almost a comparison.
- [47:06]
Lee Richter
I never compare. I get inspired. And I think that's one of the things that sometimes bothers me because I've been in groups of even women, and I've had stories that I'll share, and then they'll say, oh, I'm so intimidated now by you. And I'm like, why not be inspired? Like, why would you want to feel intimidated? You're choosing to feel intimidated, but you can turn that frequency into inspired. So now be inspired and know that if I did it, you can do it too. We're both human in the human experience. So I think, first of all, there is a wheel called the emotional wheel, and there's six different categories in it. And I'll give you an example. If you look at the word vulnerable, vulnerable is a subset of fear. But if you look at the word open, the word open is a subset of happy. So would I rather be open or would I rather be vulnerable? Both are really the same thing. But one of them is going to take me to optimistic and happy, and the other one's going to take me to fear. So why be vulnerable? So I practiced this one time. We were working with some NFL players, and we were working with being in your comfort zone and then walking to the edge of the comfort zone and then out of the comfort zone. And when they were in their comfort zone, they were strong and they were fierce, and there was nothing knocking them down. When they got to the edge of the comfort zone, you could see it kind of like, okay, where am I? But as soon as they got out of the comfort zone and we used the word vulnerable, their shoulders went in, they shrunk. I'm like, what just happened? We practiced it, and then we used the word open. Open. They were big. And I'm like, you know, there really is something to it. It is a frequency of the words. So just choosing, hey, let's be open to this experience. Let's be Optimistic. Now we're going in the path of happy and growth. If we're gonna be invulnerable and we're just gonna end up in fear, that's not where I wanna end up. So once you know that emotional wheel, you can choose the frequency of the words you wanna be in. And there's a. There's six different frequencies. And actually I made it into a pillow on my couch at home. So I could just take it out and say, where am I right now? And choose to be where I want to be. And so many times it's just one frequency over, but why not choose the one that gives you the most powerful end result? So the frequency I will say looking up, that is so powerful. I've even done circles in my house where we pass the pillow and people talk about where are they right now? And when they see it on the wheel, they now can see how they can make better choices.
- [49:28]
Amber Spears
We're going to take a picture of this wheel and we're going to attach it in the show notes and give.
- [49:33]
Lee Richter
A place to make. They have the pillowcase that you just stuff it with a pillow that's on Amazon, because then it's out. People talk about it all the time. And we even pass it around as the talking stick. Whoever has the pillow is the one who can talk.
- [49:45]
Amber Spears
And there's so much truth to this because there's. There's a physiological reaction to emotions. Like we're biochemical beings, right?
- [49:52]
Lee Richter
And we're all a chemistry experiment. I say, yeah.
- [49:56]
Amber Spears
And I've asked people, like in rooms, like, well, have you ever been terrified? And I have them describe it. And to make a long story short, they describe a feeling of fear and wanting to run away. They generally have butterflies in their stomach and it always comes down to tingles down their spine. And so I'm like, okay, so you're terrified and you get these feelings, right? And then I'll be like, well, have you ever been, like, really excited? And we dive into really excited. And you know what's interesting? They have the same butterflies in their stomach, the same tingles down their spine, and the same feeling to run, but it's no longer away. It's a complete shift in an energetic frequency for the exact same emotion. Just what is your intention of it? Like, it's the same biochemicals moving. It's just, what are your choices and what are you doing with it? And I mean, I think, like, for men and women, like, this is relevant to everyone, but for women especially, because as women are Advancing in the leadership roles. I mean, World War II, women entered the workforce and women didn't leave. Men may have a need to work, but. And maybe the feminine energy. I mean, we've all done the Alison Armstrong work and all that. Like, maybe you guys don't need it, but is needing better or is wanting better? You guys want it.
- [51:08]
Lee Richter
Wanting, wanting to create, wanting to co create, wanting to build relationships. Like, that's my biggest driver even in here, is building and creating better relationships. Right. So that's also on the emotional wheel of positivity. It's also in that same space, which, by the way, one of my absolute. When I learned on the emotional wheel where judgment is, I realized judging ourselves is one of the worst things we can do. And people do it all the time, but they're putting themselves in a frequency where they definitely do not thrive. And I can feel when someone walks in and they're in judgment, I can actually see. See the energy around them. And I want to go the other way. I don't even want to help them because they're in such a state of judgment. Whether it's them or someone else, they need to figure out how to get out of that frequency before I even want to have a conversation with them.
- [51:55]
Amber Spears
My wife talks about that. And, and she doesn't say, see, she says feel. She's like, she can feel somebody's energy.
- [52:01]
Lee Richter
I can feel it.
- [52:01]
Amber Spears
And she, she will, she'll be like, oh, I just want to avoid that person. And of course I'm dense. I'm like totally male. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, whatever, babe. Like, let's go meet them. I heard they're cool. And I'll go up and I'll be like, oh, ew. Like what? This conversations. Like, Like, I, I can feel it after diving in.
- [52:19]
Lee Richter
But she, her instinct, she can feel.
- [52:20]
Amber Spears
It walking into the room.
- [52:22]
Lee Richter
Yeah.
- [52:22]
Amber Spears
And so, I mean, maybe, by the.
- [52:23]
Lee Richter
Way, because I would. I would trust that intuition a lot.
- [52:26]
Amber Spears
It's.
- [52:27]
Lee Richter
And by the way, it's normally.
- [52:28]
Amber Spears
Right.
- [52:28]
Lee Richter
And it's normally just in that moment too, because people can shift their frequency just based on the next conversation. But in that moment, I don't wanna enter a judgment conversation. It's almost rare that you can convert someone out of it until they're ready, so they have to initiate it for themselves. Once you see the emotional wheel, though, you can see the ways you can change that and shift it just by a little thing. Just like vulnerable to open. It really feels like the same thing. It's just the end of the path is different.
- [52:54]
Amber Spears
Okay, so I'm gonna branch into a story now because now we're having fun and it happened here, and we all got to live it over the last few days. And it's so funny.
- [53:02]
Lee Richter
I was so out of character.
- [53:04]
Amber Spears
So, like any Mastermind group, they offer invitations to people to come and experience the Mastermind. And if they're a fit, they're allowed to join or not. Right. If they're not a fit, they don't join. Well, this Mastermind is beautiful. Amber is serving and taking care of us. And Amber has a family member that's going through some trauma right now and dealing with the C word and cancer, and it's horrible. And, you know, she had to come and do this event cause she'd committed to us.
- [53:33]
Lee Richter
And by the way, on Sunday, she was the officiant of their wedding.
- [53:36]
Amber Spears
Right.
- [53:37]
Lee Richter
And then we start the. In less than a week. We're here and it's in her hometown.
- [53:41]
Amber Spears
Yeah.
- [53:42]
Lee Richter
So, yeah, you're right. And it was emotional.
- [53:44]
Amber Spears
It's a fairly advanced cancer where she didn't want to leave.
- [53:47]
Lee Richter
Right.
- [53:47]
Amber Spears
But she still came, she still served.
- [53:49]
Lee Richter
She was committed. And we didn't know, like, you would not have known anything was going on behind the scenes.
- [53:54]
Amber Spears
She went and officiated the wedding, married the gentleman. He became her brother in law, like, and like, just magic. And then members of the Mastermind, secretly, her not knowing anything about it. Like, I didn't know about it. I don't know if you knew about it. Like. No, I knew nothing.
- [54:10]
Lee Richter
I knew the people doing it, and I had no idea.
- [54:11]
Amber Spears
But we show up to dinner last night and they brought her brother in and like, he came.
- [54:18]
Lee Richter
It was her family members, it was her cousin, her husband, and their son, who's four years old, Noah.
- [54:23]
Amber Spears
And he came and gave a talk to the group, and we all supported him. And they, you know, I guess they did set up a GoFundMe and they passed out little cards and whatever, and they were like, raising money to help the family, which I thought was beautiful. I love when Masterminds get back.
- [54:39]
Lee Richter
Absolutely. And Amber was completely surprised. She had no idea this was happening.
- [54:43]
Amber Spears
No. Which is true.
- [54:43]
Lee Richter
And tears are streaming down her face, and she's just blown away by everything happening. And we're all showing up to support her. Right.
- [54:50]
Amber Spears
It's love. And of course, goofy me, like my, you know, sometimes a little off kilter, a little loud, little brash, uninvited when Amber hugs and starts crying. And the surprise is beautiful. And of course, I made a Donation. And then I looked around, and I was like, well, we should get people to donate more. And I'm generally pretty good at pulling money out of people. I'm a business guy.
- [55:13]
Lee Richter
We're in this moment.
- [55:14]
Amber Spears
We're in the moment. I run up to the front of the room, I steal the mic, and I do a little fundraising. And I do it in a very masculine, very loud, very abrasive way. We raised a lot of money as.
- [55:26]
Lee Richter
A champion, wanting to champion a cause.
- [55:28]
Amber Spears
You know, I don't know what we raised. 30, 40, 50, maybe more thousand dollars to support this family in a time of need. And, you know, I got a lot of positive feedback from it. Like, people were fist bumping me, dude, that was awesome. Like, and I was like, I came.
- [55:40]
Lee Richter
And gave you a hug for it.
- [55:40]
Amber Spears
Yeah, you did. It was gorgeous. And, like, I'm getting all this positive feedback. And then, like, for the judgment story. Cause it ties in. It's so funny that we got here. There's this one lady that walks up, and she grabs me, and she's like, are you Preston? I was like, yeah. And she pulls me aside to the dis. Further away from the group, and she's like, I just need to express something. I was like, oh, yeah, go ahead. She's like, that was horrible. And I was like, what?
- [56:05]
Lee Richter
Her judgment in that moment was different than everyone else.
- [56:09]
Amber Spears
And she then kind of went into this. Yeah, what you did was you destroyed the energy in the room. And I was like, wow. You know, and, like, we try to be close. I have no idea who this lady is. And so I was like, look, my attention was good. Like, I'm not gonna apologize for that. And our outcome was really good. Like, we raised a lot of money. We supported a family. But you know what, ma' am, I don't know you. If I triggered you, I certainly didn't want to hurt your feelings. I certainly didn't want to offend you. And then she goes into this. I am an energy healer. I am this. You are wrong. Follow my.
- [56:40]
Lee Richter
She wanted to make you wrong is the problem.
- [56:41]
Amber Spears
Narcissistic lead. And, you know, I can be.
- [56:46]
Lee Richter
Everything is a bell curve. Everything is a bell curve. So in that moment, she just proved the other side of the bell curve, which is interesting.
- [56:53]
Amber Spears
Like, and eventually I was like, well, you know, I got kind of sick of it because I was enjoying my night, and I was, like, not gonna spend my time there, like, in the energy.
- [57:00]
Lee Richter
I actually saw you right after, and you were a little rattled because it was so unexpected.
- [57:04]
Amber Spears
It Was. It was a shock. And I. And so. But.
- [57:06]
Lee Richter
And I'm like, dismiss it. Consider the source. Yeah.
- [57:08]
Amber Spears
And I did. And. And I. And I. But I'm strong enough to stand my ground. So I was like, you know what? Like, if you're an energy healer, please check your energy and get the out of my face. And. And I was probably a little brash, but I was direct. And. And. And then I went on. I actually talked to you, and. And I went and started enjoying my night. I called my kids, like, all this. And she came up for more. And it was more judgment, more need, more this. And.
- [57:28]
Lee Richter
And that doesn't fly here.
- [57:30]
Amber Spears
It was a palpable judgment energy, and it was so much.
- [57:36]
Lee Richter
None of us liked it. We could all feel the shift, and it was not good.
- [57:39]
Amber Spears
Yeah.
- [57:40]
Lee Richter
She was going around like a little bee, though, to each little pod, wanting them to hear her story, and we're, like, showing negativity. That is not this group. This group is completely the opposite.
- [57:48]
Amber Spears
It was an addiction to judgment. It was, like, a sad, weird addiction.
- [57:54]
Lee Richter
But nobody in here is in judgment, so we rejected it. It was automatically. Did not fit well.
- [58:00]
Amber Spears
And I'm probably replugging Amber's mastermind again right now because she did something just magical, which. And this is where it's the safest, most dangerous group ever. Like, this morning, I come into the group, and, like, when she came up to me again, I was polite, but I also dismissed her. And I was like, look, lady. Like.
- [58:16]
Lee Richter
And, you know, Amber lost sleep over that last night because she cares so much about this community, and she wants us to be lifting each other. And that one person was the absolute, absolute opposite.
- [58:26]
Amber Spears
Well, I hate that she lost sleep, but, like, she. I walked in today, and I walked up, sat at a table, and of course, this lady's there, and I just played pleasant, and she saw me, and her face looked like she tasted poop or something on a fork. And, like, Amber, like, this leader. And this is the time where leadership is magic.
- [58:42]
Lee Richter
Yes.
- [58:43]
Amber Spears
This is the time where I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, she started in on me again, and I just said, look, look, I'm not gonna play. Like, I'm gonna be happy. Like, you have your day. Whatever. And Amber's like, ma' am, you gotta go. You're not allowed to be here anymore. You're out of the group.
- [58:57]
Lee Richter
She set the boundary. Strict boundary. She's protecting the group, which I love.
- [59:02]
Amber Spears
And I don't mean to turn this into an advertise forums, advertise Amber session, but you entered a judgment and of course it reminded me of that.
- [59:09]
Lee Richter
It didn't fit. It was the absolute opposite frequency of everyone else.
- [59:12]
Amber Spears
The lesson I want to convey outside of everybody should probably look up forums is if you get into an environment where. Where there is a structure and where there is rules and it doesn't have to be a mastermind, like if you don't have the money and it's not paid, but you need to set the conditions of your relationships around you. And you're saying relationships so many times and I want to frame this because your relationships matter. Your relationships, I believe, become your results. And I was just.
- [59:38]
Lee Richter
And who you surround yourself with is really important for your best future self.
- [59:43]
Amber Spears
And I love the group and I loved Amber before, but I deepened my love for her strength, courage and character of ejecting a negative energy. Not that the person's a bad person. I don't want to judge the person. I think she made some bad decisions and she was addicted to some wrong things. But it was really beautiful to see the character and strength ejecting that. And I think there's a lesson there that I'd love to kind of have you talk about with the people you surround yourself because I think many of them have made you you and have built you into this person that has great relationships around you, but also has a great relationship internally. Can you dive into that a little bit?
- [60:20]
Lee Richter
Yeah. I think it's just the choices that we make. Right.
- [60:23]
Amber Spears
If you can give me three rules for what you look for in a human you want around you, well, I will tell you.
- [60:27]
Lee Richter
The number one thing I love in humans is when their batteries included. And that means they're not looking outside of themselves for me to fulfill their energy. They have it in themselves. And so most of the people in my life, they are batteries included. They're very much a solid person. They come as a whole unit. The people I hire the same thing. I will mentor them and teach them and fill the gaps. But I want their energy to supply, to come from within and then in relationships. Ironically, someone had mentioned it yesterday from stage. I believe all my important relationships, I have three rules. Nothing to hide, nothing to defend and nothing to prove. And I actually use that over and over again with my daughter, with the people important with me. They don't have to defend it. Just tell me your truth. Let's deal with it. So I think if people come with pure intentions and we wanna lift together and we're in the win, win, you win, I win, then we're gonna be Successful together. If it's out of that, then I just don't pay attention to those people. I feel like I am very discerning with who I spend my time with. And it's people that help me have my best future self with them.
- [61:33]
Amber Spears
So one. Cause I wanna. Like we're creating clickbait. I want the one where it's like batteries included. I love that. What I heard the second time is bring your truth. Now, your truth doesn't always mean that truth, but if you bring it authentically and lovingly, we're doing life together. We're social animals. I don't mind you bringing your truth, even if it's your problems, because I love you and I'm willing to deal with them with you. And we don't have to agree on everything, but we'll find ways together. So bring me your truth and the real you. So authenticity. Kind of like I want all of you, your problems, your gifts. So that's two. What's another one? Lee? Like, this is such goals.
- [62:08]
Lee Richter
There's so many. Well, I mean, just even that.
- [62:10]
Amber Spears
Well, you can give us 20.
- [62:12]
Lee Richter
I think part of it is just being interested, being curious about that other person. Even with somebody you've known for years. Don't anticipate what they're going to answer or what they're going to want. Just be curious. Today, what is it that you'd like today? So I was at Harvard one time. I was speaking, and the man who was the Dos Equis commercial, most interesting man in the world, he was speaking right after me. And so we were in the green room and we were talking. And of course the question is, like, what makes you the most interesting man in the world? And he's like, to be interested. And I think. Cause I'm naturally curious and interested in people. It's a natural copacetic relationship that way.
- [62:46]
Amber Spears
Oh, that is such gold. So, batteries included. Be your authentic self and be interested. Be interested.
- [62:53]
Lee Richter
Be interested in that other person. I teach people that all the time. When we're with celebrities, people will go up to the celebrity and pitch their things. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You go up to them and ask them what's interesting in their life right now. What's something they're celebrating right now, Making it about them. Last year I was in Necker island and we had a couple hours with Richard Branson where we were just asking questions and rifting, you know, out by the tennis courts. And every single person's asking questions about their business because he's a business leader. I know what he's interested in. He's interested in the flamingos that he repopulated on the island. So when he, he asked me what did I want to ask him, I said, tell me about your love of the flamingos. Well, all of a sudden he's all animated and he's telling a three minute story and he's so interested. And later everyone's like, wow, he got so excited when you asked that question. I'm like, because it was something he was interested in. I wasn't making my story something for him to be interested in. I was making his story something we should all be paying attention to. And that flow was so different. You could see when he answered the question, he lit up. He was excited. All the other questions he answered in one minute, Done this one, he just went on. He was so excited about it. He couldn't wait to walk to the flamingos the next morning and show us. So that's what it is. Be interested in what they're interested in. So when you meet a celebrity, you get a picture. Talk to them about what are they doing right now, what are they celebrating right now, what do they need help with right now? Don't go up and pitch your thing. That is the worst thing to do. They hear it all day long. Wait until it's your timing. Wait till they ask you and they're interested. That's when you're really gonna get the audience well.
- [64:23]
Amber Spears
And I bet you like if there's anybody in that group that he's gonna call and just wanna talk with again, it's gonna be the person that's interested back.
- [64:32]
Lee Richter
He actually sat across from me at breakfast the next day. So you're right. And we did talk about the flamingos. Because I own veterinary hospitals. I love the flamingos too. I wanted to hear the story, I wanted to visit them. I got to see them first fly in the air. From there. I didn't even knew flamingos flew like that. But I learned so much because we opened the conversation for him to pour out what was important to him. And he just. For the next three days we were talking about flamingos. But it was lovely because he was so happy about it. And he made a big contribution by bringing them in and repopulating them just to be honored.
- [65:04]
Amber Spears
This gift of talking about what he's interested in. You know, significant emotional events in life create significant vents in our behaviors, actions, words and everything else we do. I will bet you he was venting gold like you might have been flamingos Here, magic bullet. There, flamingos Here, magic bullet. You probably got so much gold.
- [65:24]
Lee Richter
His line of thinking of, they're not here now. How do I make it so they will? Like, there was a whole line of thinking of, how do I get them? How do I repopulate them? How will they? Every single thing. And now he's the proud papa of all of them. Now we get to see. I'm going again next to. I can't wait to hike with him to go see the flamingos now. Because now we have that history. Now we have that conversation. And I want to see them thrive. Like, it's important to me to see them.
- [65:47]
Amber Spears
Let me frame the lesson here for the listeners. You got to sit with one of the most influential men on earth. Okay.
- [65:54]
Lee Richter
Just that little rock, you know, few dinners, few breakfasts.
- [65:57]
Amber Spears
Yeah.
- [65:58]
Lee Richter
Play some tennis.
- [65:59]
Amber Spears
And not only are you invited back and you're doing more with it, but. But, you know, if God made us in his image, it's not earners, it's creators. You got to sit with one of the greatest creators that is in human form, and you got to hear his creation formula around something he was interested in instead of just dumping your problems on him, like, which is human nature. And I'm not criticizing anyone that does that. But, like, what a golden piece of advice like, can we bottle you and sell you in pills? Is that.
- [66:32]
Lee Richter
We're gonna have to make some courses. I'm sure. I just. You know what it is, is I teach my team at work. Cause in veterinary hospitals, it's a very emotional experience. Right. It's a very emotional transaction. And I teach my team, no matter what the emotion, no matter where they come in, how do you have them feel better at the end of the conversation? Make a game out of it. The more mean they are, how do you get them at the end to not only leave, but come back with chocolate chip cookies for the team next time? It happens all the time. Because their intention is, how do I make them feel better before they leave? It's not about, you made me feel bad. It's I see you need help, and how do I be a conduit for you to have a better conversation? So the team has learned how to go in there and turn bad into really great. I mean, they get delivered cookies and things all the time because they show up in love. But they don't take it personally when someone shows up badly. What they do is they take it as a challenge of, hey, I can turn that around into something good. And I think if you think about that. You don't have to meet somebody in the frequency of angry. What you could do is meet them in the frequency of curiosity. And how do you transition it to an even better story for both of you? Right? It's a science, Lee.
- [67:44]
Amber Spears
I'm not joking about wanting to bottle you and pill you. I want to sell doses of Lee Richter because I think I would become the next Richard Branson if I start doing that.
- [67:53]
Lee Richter
Do you know what I loved about Richard Branson is we can ask him his origin stories of even when he bought the island, and he bought the island to impress a girl. And he tells us the whole story. And he tells how he, you know, he had certain deadlines that he had to do building buy. And by the way, the girl he was impressing at the time is not the one he married, you know, but the one he married still hears that story all the time. And it's okay. Cause it's part of his origin story. But for him, he was motivated to buy the island to impress a girl. He was in his early 20s. He was a kid. To me, that's the big thinking. Don't get your head out of the clouds thinking. That's somebody who's like, I'm gonna put my head as far in the clouds as possible. I wanna surround myself with people like that that are limitless. They don't see sky's the limit. They see there is no limit. And he's one of those people. And I think he's not limited. And he does have discipline more than anyone else I know. In the first four hours of the day, he's hiking, he's biking, he's boating. He's taking care of his mind and body at the highest level. There were people in our group in their twenties who could not keep up with him because he's so consistent and so disciplined. And he knows his temple is the first thing to take care of his body and his mindset. And so he's bringing people to the island to do his favorite stuff, to play chess games with them, to play tennis with them. He has designed his life that people can come to him, to his playground and play with his toys on his time schedule. It's absolutely brilliant. So I'm like, wait, we can all do that. We can design our life to have more fun, have more connection, and have people come to us to bring that. That's exactly what Amber did here with us this weekend. She created this space for us to come play and be safe and be happy. And she is the mama bear. Like, hey, I want to make sure everyone is. But because it is a bell curve, there's a. There's always going to be a percentage over here that's absolutely in love with you and can't, you know, we know all the people in the group that feel that way, including you and I, but there's also going to be this percentage over here who is the dissension. I live in Berkeley, California, and one of the things I've learned, there are more Nobel laureates in Berkeley, California than anywhere else on the planet. There are more patents that are submitted and approved in Stanford and Silicon Valley than anywhere else on the planet. So here I am in this corridor of brainiacs, but I'm also in the same corridor of more homeless people than anywhere else either. And it's part of the bell curve. If you're going to have more of this, it's natural you're going to have more of that. And so when they're doing the landscape of the Bay Area, they have to take into account that here we have the smartest, brightest, but also we're going to have to take care of these that come with it. I just see it played out all the time, everywhere. I see it with team members, even when they're taking in new information. There'll be a certain percentage that are early adoption adopters, a certain percentage that are fence sitters, and a certain percentage that are dissension. The ones that are in dissension, if I give it enough time and training, they will be my biggest cheerleaders. Because once I convert them from dissension to a cheerleader, I have them for life. It's the same with clients. This is why they do the NPS score. The NPS score. The most important on the NPS score, the net promoter score, is the nines and tens and the ones and twos. If you look at Amazon, same thing with the reviews. I use the reviews of books as fodder. Right. The five star reviews are great. I know what they like, but the one star reviews, I know what they really want. So those one star reviews are gold for marketing feedback. Absolutely. Because the language they're using is exactly what I need to use to get to them to let them know I solved their problem. So them giving a one star review actually allows me to serve them better because now I know what they really want. So other people might look at it as, as a bad thing. I look at it as a good thing because it gives me an opportunity to know how to serve them even better.
- [71:30]
Amber Spears
We Have a joke at our companies that if you don't get one star reviews at least once a month, you didn't get enough. Because how else are you going to tune your product? And it doesn't necessarily have to be on social media. It could be somebody coming in, a complaint or whatever.
- [71:41]
Lee Richter
But as long as it's a legit. Like I hate when they come to the vet hospital and they give a one star review because they couldn't find parking.
- [71:45]
Amber Spears
Oh, yeah, that's dumb.
- [71:46]
Lee Richter
That has nothing to do with me.
- [71:47]
Amber Spears
Yeah, but the legitimate one star review where somebody's like, I didn't like this. This was my experience. Here's what I'm explaining. And it is something correct when it is something in the market where competitors are gonna take advantage of it. We want that. I mean, guys, if there's a lesson framed here, feedback is a gift and problems to profit. How do you get your profit? You deal with your problems. How do you solve what you can't see? You can't solve what you can't see.
- [72:10]
Lee Richter
And you have to ask those questions so you can really see what people are thinking. What we learned last night in this room was there is gonna be a voice of dissension sometimes. But there's a way to do it properly. And sometimes when you do it properly, you'll be heard. And when you don't, you'll be excused, expelled.
- [72:25]
Amber Spears
We will hand you your broomstick for you to fly away.
- [72:28]
Lee Richter
But the thing is, she's protecting the environment so that she knows she can trust all of us to show up in that win win mentality.
- [72:36]
Amber Spears
Well, and it's actually coming kind of full circle in our talk. The girl that showed up last night was the girl who's still existing in an identity that was created before that is not the identity that her soul really wants. She's never grown that strength and so she's never stepped out.
- [72:56]
Lee Richter
She might be prompted to now because hopefully she'll look inside and have a learning lesson here.
- [73:00]
Amber Spears
Your problems are your gifts. Like, the worst day of your life can be the best day of your life if you reframe it.
- [73:04]
Lee Richter
It's true. And those are our best learning lessons. Our losses, our failures. A lot of CEOs are like, if I didn't have these failures, I wouldn't have had this lesson. If I didn't have this. And then successful, expensive lesson sometimes. But it's expensive if you do it over and over and over. Get the lesson, make the changes, do it different.
- [73:20]
Amber Spears
The only expensive lesson is the one you didn't learn from, because then you can't turn that problem into profit. That's true. Lee, where can people find you? Like, can we find you on Instagram, YouTube? Can you share a little bit so that our listeners, as they're coming to an end of this podcast, can go click a. Follow, click a. Like, not just with us, we want that too, but like, to go find you as well. Because everybody needs a dose of Lee every single day.
- [73:44]
Lee Richter
Thank you. So, years ago, my team created a brand called Go Ask Lee. So it's G O A S K, L, E E. And the reason is, is because so many people ask me questions and they would always say, well, go Ask Lee. Go Ask Lee. So they created this brand for me. And so basically, you can just Google Go Ask Lee and you'll see my LinkedIn and YouTube and everything is under that.
- [74:04]
Amber Spears
And it's good. Like, I went, I followed it, I looked at all of it. I love it. And guys, thank you so much. Lee, you are absolutely amazing. I am so glad to be in proximity with you.
- [74:15]
Lee Richter
I feel the same. I feel so honored. Thank you for sharing these stories. Thank you guys for listening and being part of our life. I feel so honored and blessed to be here. Thank you.
- [74:24]
Amber Spears
Thank you all. And you all have an amazing day on purpose.