Motivation vs. Discipline Mash Up: Why Habits Win

Summary

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Pursuit of Wellness – "Motivation vs. Discipline Mash Up: Why Habits Win"

Host: Mari Llewellyn
Guests: Sammy, Marcus, plus Guest Expert/Coach
Date: August 25, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode delves deep into the tension between motivation and discipline on the path to wellness, emphasizing why sustainable habits and self-discipline consistently outperform fleeting bursts of motivation. Host Mari Llewellyn and her guests share personal journey stories, actionable strategies, and mindset shifts crucial for making positive change stick. The conversation is real, raw, and supportive—perfect for anyone looking to create lasting transformation from the inside out.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Motivation vs. Discipline: Why Habits Matter

• Motivation is fleeting—it fades quickly, but discipline, built through consistent habits, is reliable (00:34).
• Building routines, even when uncomfortable, is what forges real, sustainable change.

"Motivation is a fleeting feeling and discipline is a consistent habit that allows you to take action even when you don't feel like it."
— Mari Llewellyn, [00:29]

• Personal Example: Mari describes her early discomfort with new routines (early wakeups, skipping sweets, gym sessions), but over time these became automatic—the discomfort faded as old identity gave way to new habits (01:07).

2. The Power of Planning & Environment

• Concrete planning (Google calendar, time-blocking) and preparation (having workout or grocery plans) make following through much easier (01:50).
• Environment matters: supportive communities like fitness groups or accountability partners can supercharge adherence and confidence (04:25).

"Every time I went to the gym, I needed to bring a plan. Otherwise I'd end up going, feeling confused, overwhelmed and leaving early."
— Mari Llewellyn, [02:18]

• Sammy's start in CrossFit is a testament to the role of encouragement and accountability; she began with little knowledge or equipment and used community support to sustain her five-day-a-week commitment (03:19–05:10).

3. Discipline as an Act of Self-Love

• Both Mari and Sammy agree: discipline brings real self-confidence, and showing up for yourself is a profound form of self-respect.

"Discipline is self love. When you learn self discipline, that is the number one form of self love."
— Sammy, [07:51]

• Achievements in fitness cross over into other life areas (e.g., career, resilience in adversity).

4. Overcoming Victim Mentality & Choosing Responsibility

• The discussion shifts to mindset: many people feel life is happening to them, not for them. Embracing responsibility over blame is foundational to true change (15:56).
• The Guest Expert/Coach emphasizes that we can choose our emotional response to circumstances—and that accepting responsibility bends reality toward desired outcomes.

"Average conforms to reality. Greatness creates a whole new reality."
— Guest Expert / Coach, [17:43]

5. Identity Shifts: Upgrade Your Story

• True, lasting transformation means updating your personal story and identity, not just behavior (25:58).
• Visualization and "imaginative rehearsal" help train the subconscious to support these new identities and ambitions (23:11).
• Mari notes her own experience: she had to stop believing she was a "failure" or "average"—instead, she convinced herself to act as "an athlete," which facilitated incredible progress (26:15–26:42).

"You're under no obligation to be the exact same person you were five seconds ago. You can shift. You can change."
— Guest Expert / Coach, [25:58]

6. Rituals, Routines, and Recovery

• Marcus shares his transformative recovery plan, which included rigorous daily rituals: wake early, make bed, hygiene, ask for help, physical activity, nutritious breakfast, meetings, and martial arts training (29:38–33:24).

"You need instruction, you need to have a plan...I basically gave myself a very similar plan."
— Mari Llewellyn, [33:24]

• He stresses the power of asking for help and viewing prayer as a tool for seeking assistance, not just a religious act (34:16).

7. The Three Cs: Commitment, Confidence, Courage

• Fitness and nutrition act as “winnable” daily practices, providing evidence of progress even amidst broader life challenges.
• Marcus introduces the three C’s:
  • Commitment is the gateway to happiness.
  • Confidence is built through steady commitment and fuels better life decisions.
  • Courage follows naturally from confidence, allowing for bold action.

"Commitment is the gateway to happiness, right? You want something, the only way to get it is to do it...with enough commitment, you build confidence...and with enough confidence, you know, courage is inevitable."
— Marcus, [41:58]

• Small, daily wins accumulate into life-changing momentum.

8. Controlling the Controllables

• When much is outside our control, focusing on what we can control—movement and nutrition—restores agency and builds resilience (38:51).

"If you can make those things wins now, the ability to commit becomes easier."
— Marcus, [41:00]

9. Advice for Starting Out or Restarting

• Start with small, actionable steps—especially when forming new routines.
• Don't expect an instant fix; there's no magic pill, but repeated experimentation is key to finding what sticks (33:58).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the pain of new routines:

  "I struggled getting in on my steps because I didn't want to...But after a while, I stopped even thinking about it. It stopped being a choice, and it just started to be my lifestyle."
  — Mari Llewellyn, [00:49]

• On environment and growth:

  "I have always been someone who wanted to surround myself with people who were doing more and doing better...I never want to be the smartest person at the table."
  — Sammy, [05:16]

• On the permanence of identity unless intentionally changed:

  "Most people, when they set intentions for the year, by the second week of February, gone...because the intention didn't match the story of who they really thought they were."
  — Guest Expert / Coach, [28:30]

• On the impact of little wins:

  "The wins that we control, the little ones are the ones that make the biggest impact."
  — Marcus, [44:12]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–01:30 – Mari on the fleeting nature of motivation and power of habits
• 03:19–05:52 – Sammy’s entry into CrossFit; the importance of accountability and community
• 07:51 – "Discipline is self love" discussion
• 11:19 – Walking and movement as accessible forms of wellness
• 13:45 – Building confidence through keeping promises to self
• 15:56–17:43 – Moving beyond the victim mentality; creating your own reality
• 23:11–28:38 – Steps to manifest change: imagine, upgrade your story, take effective action
• 29:38–33:24 – Marcus’s step-by-step daily recovery plan; routines as the path out of rock bottom
• 41:58–44:12 – Marcus’s ‘Three Cs’: Commitment, Confidence, Courage
• 44:44–45:49 – Final practical advice: little wins, resilience, and the real path to sustained growth

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Conclusion: Core Takeaways

• Lasting wellness is about building discipline through repeatable habits, not waiting for motivation.
• Environmental support, structure, and mindset upgrades are essential tools.
• Identity change is necessary: becoming the person you aspire to be, one day and one win at a time.
• Control what you can—movement and nutrition—even when much is out of your hands.
• Rely on the power of small wins to fuel the confidence and courage to pursue bigger goals.

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Transcript

[Mari Llewellyn]

This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. What is up, guys? Welcome back to the show. And we are talking motivation and productivity tips. We all have had feelings of motivation before, but they don't stay very long. Motivation is a fleeting feeling and discipline is a consistent habit that allows you to take action and even when you don't feel like it. It's all about building habits that you do regardless of whether you feel like it or not. This will allow you to do anything in life. When I first started my journey, I struggled to wake up early because it was new for me. I struggled to pass up a sweet treat because that was new for me. I struggled to get to the gym when I was tired or it was cold. I struggled getting in on my steps because I didn't want to. I struggled driving back and forth from New York to Philly to get my degree. I struggled sitting at the front desk of Orange the fitness at 3am I struggled with everything. But after a while, I stopped even thinking about it. It stopped being a choice, and it just started to be my lifestyle. Things started to feel way more comfortable and that's how it becomes your life. It's how it becomes who you are. Your habits become your new identity. What is currently holding you back? Is it that you need to wake up earlier? Are you not achieving enough in the day? Do you need to create more hours in your day? When I first started my fitness journey and I started all these new habits, at first it was so uncomfortable, but the more I did it, the more comfortable it became. The more I kept my own promises, the more confident I got. What are some things you can do to set yourself up for success every single day? I am someone who absolutely loves the calendar. If it's not in the Google calendar, I'm not doing it. I like to time block. I like to see everything that's happening. From workouts to socializing to meetings, to podcast recordings, to vacations to flights. Every single thing is in my calendar. What can you do to make things easy for yourself? For me, every time I went to the gym, I needed to bring a plan. Otherwise I'd end up going, feeling confused, overwhelmed and leaving early. Go to the gym with a plan. Maybe you struggle with nutrition. Go to the grocery store with a meal plan and a list. This was huge for me when I started my weight loss journey. Looking up meals that I wanted to make, making sure they were healthy, high protein, writing down all the ingredients I needed. Going to the grocery store with a Plan meal prepping on Sunday nights, Making sure everything's ready to go. Get yourself ready. And in a headspace where things are easy to check off and easy to achieve, it's not just about checking boxes, but doing things that make you feel whole. When I was going through my fitness journey, yes, I was definitely eating healthy, I was exercising, I was doing all the right things, but I also was mentally improving. I was getting more and more confident every single day. Finding happiness in doing hard things. I think this is a really important piece of the puzzle, and finding tools that keep you happy is so important. Having the power to control our time, our minds, and get the most out of our days, it's really one of the most powerful tools we have.

[Sammy]

I don't do things lightly. I don't try to do anything in life. Like, if I'm saying yes, I'm saying yes. And, like, I'm not gonna try to work out. I'm working out five week. And, like, I'm going to be super disciplined in that. Day one, I join a CrossFit gym, and it was really intense. But what I loved about it was the community. And when you're early on, like, y', all, I didn't even own a pair of walking shoes at this point. I maybe had one pair of leggings and then went to Target and bought the same workout top in three colors. It was basically a tight bra that then, like, popped out and was, like, loose around my stomach. Yeah. Like a peplum. Because God forbid, I felt like a stuffed sausage in every single workout outfit. And I'm wearing, like, extra, extra larges. Like, I didn't even have any association with my size at the time. But I asked them, I'm like, what sneakers do I need? What equipment do I need? They're like, you need these no bull sneakers. You know that brand?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Sammy]

They're like the flattest shoes ever. So I was wearing these all black Noble sneakers. I had three tops and got a few more pair of extra, extra large leggings. And I was in there five times a week.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Damn.

[Sammy]

And that's cool. That community was something that will.

[Mari Llewellyn]

They, like, hype you up.

[Sammy]

They really hype you up. And, like, they push you. I mean, it's like. It felt almost like military, like you're competing for something. Yes. Not that I could compete with any of these people. I mean, truly, on the days where it was like, run a mile, do 10 handstand, push ups, the modifications that my coaches would do for me was amazing.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But that's. Can you Speak to like, did you feel any intimidation or insecurity walking into an environment like that?

[Sammy]

At first, yes. My brother would actually come with me. Frankie was super frickin fit at the time. Frankie like, also goes through phases, but like, Frankie was jacked at the time.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Really?

[Sammy]

Yeah. And he was such a great accountability partner for me because all of my friends at the time were like my party friends. I wasn't in a relationship and Frankie like, was holding me accountable. So that was really great. And then I got to the point where I could hold myself accountable and like I had partners in that community that like, knew my name, knew what I was up to, knew about, like, what I wanted to accomplish. And I have always been someone who wanted to surround myself with people who were doing more and doing better. And it's really motivating. Like I always say in business, I never want to be the smartest person at the table. And when I was signing up for CrossFit, I definitely wasn't walking in there wanting to be the fittest person in the room. So it was really cool to see these like literal athletes doing the same shit that like I wanted to do.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It's kind of like me looking up to the IFBB pros in bodybuilding. You were around these insane athletes, like, shoot for the stars, be around the best.

[Sammy]

And I would crush myself in those workouts.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Damn.

[Sammy]

I was going for it. Like really, really going for it. And then after that year, I question. Yes?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Did you go into your journey saying, I want to lose £85?

[Sammy]

No. I never thought £85 was possible. I had been overweight my whole life. I was the heaviest kid in my first grade class. I don't know why. And what happened in first grade? We were all put on a scale in front of each other.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Straight up. No, no. Oh my God. That's the type of thing that you never forget.

[Sammy]

And yeah, I'm literally 23 years later still remembering this moment of being the heaviest kid when I was in sixth grade. I won't forget little moments of like, my doctors growing up saying, like, Sammy, like, you're only 13, you shouldn't be carrying this much body fat. Just, you know, across the board, so many moments that were so telling. So no, I never thought that, like, who you are seeing here today was a possibility for what I could look and feel like. Like, I think a lot of people move their body to look a certain way. At this point in my journey, I was addicted to movement because it made me feel a certain way because it was fulfilling a promise that I was making to myself because it was allowing me to get to know myself to a deeper level than I had ever learned before. And it wasn't about how hard the workout was. It was about walking away and feeling like my cup was filled, not empty. And I think a lot of workouts can kind of empty your cup.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Totally, totally. And I do think like the discipline you learn from an intense workout, like a CrossFit, I mean, I was super intense for a while with my workouts. Perhaps that's what we needed at the beginning because it teaches you pure discipline.

[Sammy]

Discipline is self love. Like you'll hear me say that all the time. When you learn self discipline, that is the number one form of self love. Because if you can't show up for yourself, how are you going to do great things for yourself in anything, in anything in life? This is not weight loss. This is life.

[Mari Llewellyn]

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[Sammy]

You know what I really want everyone to hear? If you have the privilege to move your body, you are doing your entire life such a disservice by not embracing movement. And if you haven't found the movement for you, keep looking because it exists. I agree, it is such a privilege. It is the best form of therapy. What happened for me after class pass was Covid. We were in a pandemic. There were no more classes. I became obsessed with walking.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yep, I think a lot of girls are using like even if they don't like working out, walking's there.

[Sammy]

Walking is a gift. You get to go outside side, you get to get sunshine in or just fresh air in. You get to habit stack so many other things you love. You get to invite your friend or call the person who makes you happy. Listen to a podcast like Pursuit of Wellness that betters you like whatever you want to do you can do while walking. And if you have legs that move, walk. It is a gift oh my God. I'm obsessed with walking. I still walk 10 to 20k steps a day. I'm obsessed, guys.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Sammy walks like 10 miles a day and does call and gets her whole day done.

[Sammy]

My team knows, like, if I want to be like as mentally active as possible, I should be moving.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I had a few internships throughout college and my memories of these internships were me shaking like a leaf, terrified my boss was going to talk to me, hiding in the bathroom, feeling like I didn't know what was going on. Like I had 0, 0, 0 confidence in myself and what I thought didn't even really know what I wanted. And then I worked at Orange Theory Fitness. I was at the front desk getting heart rate monitors thrown at me d sweaty towels, cleaning toilets. It's funny because of course I was unsatisfied with that, but it taught me so much. Like it was. I'm so grateful I had that little season. I'd show up at 4am to open up the studio. That was mid Fitness journey.

[Sammy]

It was a way also a crazy level of discipline if you think about that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Insane. I used to be insane. Like, I know I still have it in me. But it's funny when you're in like, like hitting rock bottom and feeling like I have to fix this. Like I do not have a choice. It's crazy what you can do, honestly.

[Sammy]

When do you feel like you found that first, like oomph of confidence?

[Mari Llewellyn]

It was the second that, like, I realized I was not wavering on my plan. When I kept showing up at the gym, when I kept waking up at six in the morning, when I kept eating the food, I was like, oh, I'm not quitting. Like, I was afraid, I think for the first couple months that I was going to quit because I had quit everything else I'd ever done. And then the second I realized I wasn't quitting, I was like, oh, I. I think I can do anything. So for me at the time, working at Orange Theory and showing up at 4 in the morning and sticking to that was a challenge. Like, I had never done anything like that before. Like I would skip class in college, I wouldn't show up to internships like I was.

[Sammy]

You had accountability.

[Mari Llewellyn]

No.

[Sammy]

For yourself?

[Mari Llewellyn]

No. Like I really didn't hold myself to a high standard. Showing up at Orange Theory and cleaning the toilets was like, I am fulfilling a promise to myself. And it was during that time, I'm serious.

[Sammy]

I'm just picturing you like deep in your toilet being like, this is for me. This is for the greater good. No, but, like, my future self is so grateful, it's kind of crazy.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And sometimes I go in a gym and I smell the cleaning smell of the same.

[Sammy]

Feel it again.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Same cleaner I would clean the toilets with. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, that was kind of the crux of my work ethic. And I was getting my degree at the time. And I remember my Instagram began exploding while I worked there. And the trainers at the gym coming up and being like, oh, my God, like, what happened? Like, how did you do that? Will you say that I trained you? Like, they wanted to be involved in it. And I had a fear of quitting Orange Theory. Because I was like, no, no, no. This is my normal job. Like, this.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

This.

[Mari Llewellyn]

This can't go anywhere. And it took me a minute to kind of take that leap of faith. And it's funny, looking back, I'm like, how did I push through those years of not leaving the house, not leaving my computer, just working, working, working? I didn't have anything to lose. I was like, let's just freaking go. It's Orange Theory. Or this. It's cleaning toilets or this.

[Sammy]

You've gotta try. You don't know until you try. That's what my dad always taught me.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Right. And now look. Look where we are. I've noticed just even in my comment section or online, a lot of people feel like life is happening to them, not for them.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And that victim mentality is really prevalent today. And it's something that I went through, too, on my journey. I. Before going through what I went through, I would look around for people to blame or situations to blame, feeling like a victim. And I think taking responsibility and looking inward is kind of the first step on that journey for many people.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

Yeah. And then one of the big things that really changed my life was when I understood or when I learned that you can choose how you feel the outside event is going to happen. But we all have. Like, you and I could have the same thing happen to us, and you would go, wow, thank God. Like, that really moved me in a good direction. And I could still be sitting here going, you know, gosh darn it, that's so unfair. Why'd that happen to me? It's not the thing that happens that really determines whether it has value or not. It's your way of looking at it, your way of perceiving it. And it is very easy to be a victim. I mean, there's so many shows on TV that you watch, you know, victim this, victim that. People blaming. I think we're in a time right now where, you know, so many people are pointing the finger at other people and trying to say, you're the reason I'm not successful or you need to change, I'm fine. And when we truly take responsibility, it's not easy. It's so much easier to be a victim. So that's the challenge. But when you go against the grain and you just say, look, I take responsibility for anything that happens to me and I'm going to use it in a way that makes me better, your life changes and you become powerful. And what my book was about is how do you shift reality? You shift reality by taking responsibility. And when you do that, reality starts to bend in the direction you want it to. And I have a quote in the book that, and I do this on my emails too. Average conforms to reality. Oh, that's bad. Everyone says it's bad. Yeah, that's bad. That's average, right? Greatness creates a whole new reality. What I like to do is when you focus on a result at the beginning of the year, we should say, not just my intention to fix some part of me, but what do you want to create? What do you want to create in your life? Stop focusing on what you want to fix. Nobody's broken here. And so what I like to do at the beginning of the year is come up with three, usually three or less. But big things I want to do during the year that would really be fun for no other reason that other than I just want to create that. I would love to create that. Not because I'm broken, I need that to feel better about myself. But then you focus in on that. And then when you focus in on it, you visualize it, right? You use your imagination. Einstein said the imagination is a preview of coming attractions. And so you just get in and you go, you know, I really love creating this. I see it, I feel it, I believe it. And then you start to notice, is there part of you that's not in love with it, like really going for it, even though it's really cool? There's part of you that might not have the level of self esteem and the subconscious, like, ah, you know, I don't know, this must, it might be too much or I'm not deserving or it's too hard. And when you start to feel that, then you know that's what you need to go in and start working on with the subconscious. The subconscious mind is tapping into. What are you really seeing? What are you visualizing Are you seeing yourself fall short? Are you seeing yourself enjoying it? And really now having this amazing thing that you've created? What does it feel like? Do you feel confident? And the other thing you have to notice is the subconscious in love with what you want to create. If it's not, you won't get it. So you've got to do some reprogramming of the subconscious.

[Mari Llewellyn]

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[Guest Expert / Coach]

I've got three big ideas in the breakthrough code. One is you've got to focus on less and then obsess. But I really want it to be more of a subconscious obsession. I want you to train your subconscious to naturally be looking for answers and actions and things like that. The second thing you've got to do, and by the way, the way that you do that is you see it, feel it and believe it. A couple times a day you see it so you're visualizing it. I actually like more of the word you're imagining it. Like I'm imagining myself in this and sometimes I talk myself through it. You know, I'm imagining myself accomplishing this and loving this and having so much fun doing this. So that might be helpful versus just trying to see it, see it, see it. Some people say they can't visualize. So imagine, imagine it. Just say I'm imagining it. And then that kind of takes the. The stress off having to see it so clearly. You're just imagining it and then you're feeling it. And then the next step is you've got to upgrade your story to upgrade your life. So the way you think about who you are, what you're capable of, that's an action you have to take. You've got to say, all right, what part of me has to die in order to create space, to create an upgraded version of me or a new version of me. The version that I want to move forward with. We want to stay the way we are, but have our life get better. It doesn't work that way. If you want to advance and create more, the old part of you can't do it. Now. Here's the good news. You're under no obligation to be the exact same person you were five seconds ago. You can shift. You can change. Takes courage. And also the subconscious mind will fight to stay the same because it's trying to protect you. Don't wander off too far, Mari. Stay the way you are.

[Marcus]

Come on.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

It's great, but we want to create. We want to do more. So we've got to let part of us die, right? Part of our personality. Not part of your body, but part of your personality. Part of the way you think, part of the way you view the world has to go away in order for a new part to come in. And then after you've done that, then you've got to take effective action. You've got to pack your day with effective action. So if you and I work, let's say, eight, nine hours in a day, but you are twice as. And we're trying to get the same thing, but you're twice as effective with your actions, like, they're really moving the needle. And you're even doing some things that you don't necessarily love, at least right now, you probably will love them later. But you're doing some things that I'm avoiding because I don't want to do that. Right. But you're doing it, but we're still only working the same amount of time. You're going to get there twice as fast. I mean, I might not even, even get there.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You said you have no obligation to be who you were five seconds ago. Yeah, I love that. And it was something, you know, reflecting on my fitness journey, I don't think I fully knew what I was doing now. I have more verbiage about my journey.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

But I had to stop believing that I was a failure and someone who was average and someone who was overweight in order to move forward. I just spoke about this on a solo episode. I did, but I almost convinced myself I was an athlete in that moment. Because to get myself to the gym and do hard workouts every day and eat clean, I had to tell myself I was training for something. And I fully, like, took that on.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

I love that.

[Mari Llewellyn]

And I still, like, if I wake up at five in the morning to go work out, I'M telling myself I'm an athlete.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I'm doing my training. Yeah. I feel like we have to really change the way we think about our identity.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

Absolutely. Yeah. We always revert back to our identity. You know, back when I was working with Tony Robbins, there were studies that we were looking at that would watch people or that would observe people when they were losing weight, trying to lose weight. And most people will lose weight. When you try to lose weight, you lose a little bit. Sometimes you lose a lot. And then typically, what happens if you do not change your identity is you revert back to your identity. I'm a person who overeats. Right. I'm a person that doesn't like working out. So I love the same thing with cigarette smoking. Right. Or when you're smoking. Like, if you are a smoker who's trying to quit, if you see yourself as an overweight person who's trying to lose weight, you will lose weight, and you'll probably quit smoking. But then eventually, your willpower is not strong enough to fight against your identity. You just will lose that battle. That's when we say, upgrade your story. We're talking about upgrading your identity, who you see yourself as. I love what you did. I'm an athlete. And you know what? When you first said that your body was probably. Or your subconscious mind was probably bs you're not an athlete. But then you've got to keep at it, and you've got to stick to that story. Most people will start out, okay, I'm an athlete. I'm an athlete. Like, two days, three days. They say most people, when they set intentions for the year, by the second week of February, gone. Like, the majority.

[Mari Llewellyn]

It's true. The gym clears out after two weeks, for sure.

[Marcus]

Yeah.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

Because they had this intention, but they didn't. The intention didn't match the story of who they really thought they were.

[Marcus]

And then I knew one person who I respected who was sober. And it was a. It was a woman named Karen, who was like an older sister to me. She worked in this nightclub that I was a bar back at when I was, like, 16. And her and I just clicked. And she would always just take me in whenever I was down and out. Like, if I was strung out and just, like, I needed to, like, be somewhere that was not in the street. I called her because I knew she was sober, and she was like, wherever you are, stay. I'm gonna send my boyfriend. And she called her boyfriend Marcus. And Marcus showed up, and Marcus changed my whole entire life. He introduced me to, well, certainly sobriety. But he introduced me to the world of wellness through fitness and nutrition.

[Mari Llewellyn]

So at this point, did you enter a program or was it like a self directed program?

[Marcus]

Program. The night that I spent with Marcus that first day, he sat down with me and he just said, I just want to. He's like, just tell me your story. Like, you know, and at that point, no one had really asked me that question, right? Tell me your story. Like, what is it? And of course, like, I wanted him to think that I had had it, like, like the worst life ever, right? Like, I was like, it's probably lying, you know, trying to sound tough, all those things. But he didn't say a word for like four hours. And then when I was done, when I kind of had gotten to date like this as then today, he was like, okay, I'm gonna help you. That was it. And he's like, this is what we're gonna do. And he had no judgment. He didn't like, I mean, he was, he definitely like had. Had made some notes on the story, but he wrote me a plan and it all happened this day. It was nuts. But basically the plan that he kind of drew out for me was he's like, this is what I want you to do. I don't, I'm not gonna chase you. And I don't care whether you choose to do it or not, because there's enough people that I've worked with to see how this, how successful this kind of system is to know that like, you're only going to do it if you're ready. And it sounds like you're ready, but I just know that like, I'm not going to chase you around to do this. So he basically said, look, I want you to wake up as early in the morning as you can. I don't know what that looks like for you, but like, if you're waking up at 4 o' clock in the afternoon now, which I'm sure you are, try to wake up earlier than that. And the first thing you're going to do when you get up in the morning is you're going to stand up, you're going to turn around, you're going to make your bed. As soon as you make your bed, you're gonna go into the bathroom and you're gonna brush your teeth, wash your face, put on your contact lenses, take a piss and get on your knees and ask God for help. I don't care if you believe in God. I don't care if you have a bad experience. With God. I don't care if you think somebody's listening or not. But like, you need help, dude, and you don't know how to ask for it. Your version of asking for help has led you to this point. So, like, we're going to kind of change direction and then right when you're done with that, do as many push ups as you can. When you're done with that, you're going to put on a pair of sneakers, you're going to get out of the house immediately, take a walk, probably not jogging anytime soon, but like get out and walk around, walk for five blocks and then come home. And when you're done with that, I want you to make a big bowl of oatmeal and you can add whatever the hell you want to it, but you need to start putting positivity into your body nutritionally in the beginning of the day. So you create a nutritional win. And I promise you it's going to make a difference. Right after you do that, I want you to go to this 12 step meeting, get there, it's going to be weird. Introduce yourself, tell them who you are and why you're there. And then right when you're done with that, I'm going to train you how to be a man. And that's going to be in the rings of Muay Thai. And I was like, what the fuck is Muay Thai? I have no idea what you're talking about. But he was just like, come meet me at this gym. And I'm thinking like, as he's saying this, I'm kind of like, gym, push ups, walking. I'm like, yeah, but I'm like, I haven't like exercised in 10 years.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Are you like super skinny at this point?

[Marcus]

I'm like bloated and swollen and just uncomfortable. So then he says, you know, we're gonna go, we're gonna train. We're gonna train for two hours every day. And after we train, you're gonna have chicken and broccoli and then you're going to take a nap, you're going to go to work, you're going to have chicken and broccoli again and you're going to go to bed as early as you can. And right before you go to bed, you're going to drop on your knees, you're going to say, thank you, rinse and repeat. And that's the plan.

[Mari Llewellyn]

You were basically on the brink of death. Like you needed this rigorous discipline plan. And it honestly reminds me a lot of myself before I went on my weight Loss journey. I ended up losing £90. But when I was coming, I dropped out of school. I was binge drinking, overweight, unhealthy, never had a goal in my life. Like I wasn't an addict. But I mean, I'm sure people listening, you know, if they're in a dark place, you need instruction, like you need to have a plan. And I basically gave myself a very similar plan.

[Marcus]

I'm sure people listening to this podcast like they want to walk away with something. Right? People are looking like, is there a silver bullet? Is there a pill? Is there a switch you could flip? Like, is there something? And I'm here to say no, there's not. However, if you don't try certain things that you hear, the chances of that being the thing for you don't exist. Right. And so that's why I talk about prayer a lot. Because it's not a religious thing for me. It's, it's an ask for help thing for me because of how consistent I've been with prayer in every other aspect of my life. I am so comfortable with asking for help. Like I, I used to be ashamed, especially as an early, early entrepreneur. Like I used to have like this weird feeling with like asking for help because I'm like, man, I'm the entrepreneur, like I should be know how to do this stuff. And I just sort of shook that off pretty quickly. Asking for help is like the key, you know. And believe it or not, you know, specifically when you ask others for help, it empowers them totally. You know what I mean? Like when the boss or the owner or the whatever asks someone for help that's not in that position, that totally fires them up, you know, like makes them feel like needed.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Marcus]

You know, and so I really, I feel like the prayer for me was like the first step into like giving myself grace and, and the ability to ask for help.

[Mari Llewellyn]

I think it's such a good tool. I have been really focused on my hair health lately. I want it to grow and that's why I now use a silk pillowcase by Blissey. You can see healthier skin and hair in weeks. It's much better than satin, which is made from synthet and is rough on hair and skin and cheap for a reason. It has anti aging properties. It reduces fine line and wrinkles over time and eliminates frizz and preserves hairstyles and protects color treated hair. It's dermatologist tested and recommended and it clinically is proven to not clog pores, which I love as someone who has acne prone skin. It has naturally hydrating silk fibers keeping skin moisturized all night. It's antibacterial and hypoallergenic. It also is naturally cooling and breathable, which I need because I tend to run really hot and have a sweaty night. It promotes better sleep. It's easy to care for and machine washable. There are over 70 colors including a new Wicked and Harry Potter line. I'm a big Harry Potter girl so I really love to hear that. It's voted the most loved gift of 2024 with over 3 million sold. Because you're a listener, Blissey is offering 60 nights risk free plus an additional 30% off when you shop at Blissey.com PowerPod P W P that is B L-I-S-Y.com PowerPod and use code POD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you. You guys have heard me talk about Clear stem so many times. It is a staple in my skincare routine. It's the first clinically effective skincare wellness routine formulated with zero pore clogging ingredients ever. If you've dealt with breakouts like me, I've had Acne for over 10 years. You know that typical acne products dry and damage the the skin while traditional anti aging products can clog your pores. Clear stem is an all in one approach addressing both acne and aging without compromising your holistic health. I personally love the cleanser. I use the gentle cleanser. I also love the body lotion and I use the lips and cutes balm on my lips every single day. The founders, Danielle and Kaylee both struggle with debilitating acne themselves, which means I trust the brand because honestly if I'm working with someone I need to know that they've also had acne to really trust them and they just get it. They also believe that acne starts from the inside. They have a revolutionary acne lab test so you can receive individualized support from a nutritional therapy practitioner to analyze your blood work, identifying underlying acne triggers and implement personalized lifestyle centric solutions to clear your skin from within. Their products have been clinically shown in third party trials to effectively improve acne within four weeks, discover the clear stem difference and experience clear healthy skin for life. Go to clearstem.com pal for 20 off your first order. That's C-L-E-A-R-S-T-E-M.com pow for anyone listening who's needing like maybe still forming a routine or they have goals for 20, 25 or they just don't even know where to begin. I feel like that's. That's such a great start. What role did fitness play at the beginning of your sobriety journey? Like, how did it help you heal?

[Marcus]

Obviously, I've chosen not to use drugs a day at a time. Fitness saves. And had saved my life in that moment when Marcus knew what he was doing. I don't know how, but he just did. And he brought me into the. This Muay Thai academy. And he was like, this is where you're going to spend a lot of time because you need to be able to redirect the energy that you spent destroying yourself into building yourself. And the beauty of, like, getting into a fitness protocol of some sort, especially when you're struggling in life, is no matter how you slice it, if you commit to it every single day, you get progress. So there's very few things that you can do on a daily basis or four to five days a week where every single time you're done with it, your steps further than when you started in an hour and a half period of time. Hour period of time. Right. There's very few people that will get done with a workout and be like, I wish I didn't do that. You know, like, people walk out of a workout of any kind. It could be yoga, it could be walking, it could be running, it could be lifting weights, it could be Muay Thai, it could be anything. And you're done. And you're like, yes, you know, and so what, what I, what I was taught there is we have the ability to create wins. Nutritional wins. Awesome. You feel good after eating a healthy meal. Physically and mentally, you feel good after a training session. Physically and mentally, you have the ability to control that. There's what. We can control maybe 5% of our lives. Right. Like, whenever there's another person or thing in our world, we've kind of lost control. That person can hate us. We can't control that. That person can say something that's going to impact us. We can't control that that person can take a swing at can happen. Like, we have very little control over the things in our lives. However, when it comes to what we put into our body and how we move our body, in most cases we do have control. And if you can make those things wins now the ability to commit becomes easier. There are these things that I think are important to say because it's been so real in my life, and I call it the three Cs. Commitment is the first C. And probably the hardest of all the Cs. Commitment is the gateway to happiness, right? Like, you want something, the only way to get there, to get it is to do it, period. Like, there's one way to get from want to have, and it's to do, right? And that means commitment. Just commit, and then with enough commitment consistently, you will build confidence, because commitment really does breed confidence. You know, people will say to me, oh, my God, you, like, eat the same thing all the time, and you do the same things all the time. And I'm like, yeah, but I get better and better every single time. Like, it just gets better and better and better. I get stronger and stronger, stronger. I feel better internally, you know, like, with the. The things that I do. So commitment breed breeds confidence. And. And there's a big difference, I think, between confidence and ego. You know, like, people think, oh, confidence, like, that guy's got a lot of confidence. That girl's got a lot of confidence. Really, there's a difference between confidence and ego, in my opinion. Confidence gives you the ability to make better decisions, right? Because if you don't have confidence, you're always on the fence, right?

[Mari Llewellyn]

It's coming from self love.

[Marcus]

Coming from self love, right? So, like, self confidence is super duper important. And the way you develop self confidence is you make decisions that are ultimately going to impact self, and that's where self love, self care comes in. So commitment confidence, and then with enough confidence, you know, courage is. Is. Is inevitable. And. And so the. The commit confidence, courage sort of trifecta has really kind of like, established this. If. If I'm not, like, I'll check myself and I'll be like, all right, dude. Well, have you, like, are you committed? Like, are you, like, if you say you're going to do something, you got to check yourself and see are you actually doing it? Because if you want this thing and it's not coming easily, and let's, like, let's backtrack and see where. What step we're missing. You know, the fitness component of my life, like, my body really changed quick, you know, within, like, the first three months of training with Marcus, I was like a different human. It really gave me purpose, right? And I think that is ultimately what fitness did and has done for me. You know, no matter what's going on in my life, I can rely on fitness as a way to win. And I think humans in general are. We're wired to want to win. We just are. We do want to win. And it's not like, be the best. It's not like, win the race. It's just like a little win.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Keep your own promise. I love that.

[Marcus]

Yeah, it just goes a long way. The wins that we control, the little ones are the ones that make the biggest impact. Because typically the big wins you can't do alone. You require other people. Like Bloom.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

Right.

[Marcus]

Like the big, huge win. Right. Massive win. How many people do you think it was required to create it?

[Mari Llewellyn]

Hundreds.

[Marcus]

Yeah.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Yeah.

[Marcus]

You know, the little wins are the ones that, like, actually get us in a position to have the confidence and courage to do Bloom.

[Mari Llewellyn]

100. 100. I think that's such a great thing to say here for people listening who maybe want to be an entrepreneur or whatever, have these big goals. If you can show up for yourself, sleep well, eat well, even if work's going badly or something that's out of your control is going badly, you can show up and control those things and make sure they go well.

[Marcus]

Totally. Beginning of the new. Beginning of a new year, right? Like, people make all these commitments, all these, all these resolutions. And by the way, like, I'm not one of these guys that says, I'll screw New Year's resolutions. I'm like, no, actually make them. Make them. Why not, like, put something in your path to work towards nine out of 10 people. If they fail once, they just stop, you know? And like, I know for my life, like, the only one thing, again that I have to do perfectly is just. Just get back on. Just get back on.

[Mari Llewellyn]

Thank you for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness podcast to support this show. Please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player. You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my [e-mail] it will be linked in the show Notes this podcast is a Pursuit Network production brought to you by Michaela Phillips, Joel Contartese, Daviel Waldner and Mackenzie Meisel. You can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at Pursuit of Wellness podcast. Love you POW girls and POW boys. I will see you next time. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, talk to your doctor or health team.

[Guest Expert / Coach]

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[Mari Llewellyn]

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[Sammy]

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[Mari Llewellyn]

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