← Pursuit of Wellness
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- [00:00]
Mari Llewellyn
This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. What is up guys? Welcome back to the show. We are talking motivation and productivity tips. I have had quite the journey with my own productivity and motivation. I haven't always been someone who was super duper driven, productive, gotten a lot done in my days. When I was younger, I actually had a huge lack of motivation and drive and focus to the point where I was diagnosed with add. I was put on medication like it was such a big issue for me. I was such a bad student and that kind of went through high school, college and beyond. Everything I know now about motivation, productivity, discipline has been pretty much self taught. So I feel like I do have some really good knowledge and advice to give around this topic. As you guys know, I lost £90 in 2017. I also grew my own business and those things take a lot of focus and dedication. And through that I feel like I cultivated a really good set of tools on how to establish habits that are going to help you reach your goals, how to be productive, how to stay motivated, how to cultivate discipline. Let's go through those tips and tricks today. I really hope they're useful for you. Before we start talking about motivation, I want to talk about the difference between motivation and discipline. And I have some notes here because I think this is a really important distinction and something that I didn't quite understand before I got into my own journey. To me, I think discipline is significantly more important than motivation for achieving long term success. And what I mean by that is motivation is a fleeting feeling. I used to think that some people were motivated, some people are not. And I always thought maybe I'm just less motivated than other people. We all have had feelings of motivation before, but they don't stay very long. Motivation is a fleeting feeling and discipline is a consistent habit that allows you to take action even when you don't feel like it. I'm going to say that again. Discipline is a consistent habit that allows you to take action even when you don't feel like it. It's all about building habits that you do regardless of whether you feel like it or not. This will allow you to do anything in life. For example, when I first started my journey, I struggled to wake up early because it was new for me. I struggled to pass up a sweet treat because that was new for me. I struggled to get to the gym when I was tired or it was cold. I struggled getting in all my steps because I didn't want to. I struggled driving back and forth from New York to Philly to get my degree, I struggled. Sitting at the front desk of Orange theory fitness at 3am I struggled with everything. But after a while, I stopped even thinking about it. It stopped being a choice and it just started to be my lifestyle. Things started to feel way more comfortable. And that's how it becomes your life. It's how it becomes who you are. Your habits become your new identity. And I feel like pushing myself through these hard moments. I think there is a misconception that I want to get up early, I want to show up at the gym, I want to fight through snowstorms and do all these things to get to where I need to be. And the truth is I don't. But I am relying on discipline rather than motivation. So I wanted to start the discussion with that because I think that will help with going into all these different tips and tricks I have. So the first topic we're going to talk about is establishing the habits that you need to implement. Like, what are the things you need to do to reach your goal? Your goal could be weight loss, fitness, building a business, cultivating friendships. Everyone has different goals. What do you need to do that will get you there? This is really important. These are the building blocks that will get you to the goal that you want to achieve. What is currently holding you back? Is it that you need to wake up earlier? Are you not achieving enough in the day? Do you need to create more hours in your day? I'll talk about, for example, starting my business online. What were some things I did every single day to cultivate a community and build my own company? I posted on social media every single day. I posted stories, I posted workouts, I posted recipes. I. I posted me talking. I posted tips about water, I posted nutrition advice, motivation, lifestyle, mental health, whatever it was, I posted every single day. I also responded to comments and DMs. Every single day. I chipped away at tasks that would help me move the needle. So, for example, with my company, the first product I ever sold was a PDF workout guide. So I would take myself to Barnes and Noble, type up the workout that I wanted to include, and set aside a couple hours a day to go do dedicated work that I knew would move the needle. I made sure that the content I was bringing was bringing value for free. I was switching it up. I was getting creative. I was really putting a lot of time and energy into the content that I knew would propel me into a bigger business later on. So I was implementing habits that would get me to Where I needed to go. If you're thinking about my fitness journey, I was drinking a gallon of water every day. I was meal prepping. I was going to the gym every single day. I was getting a certain amount of steps in. These are all habits leading to a much larger goal. My second tip is to remove distractions or things that are going to get in your way. What is getting in the way of you getting it done? Is it a lack of discipline? A lack of practice? I always just think a lack of discipline is a lack of practice. Because for me, when I first started my fitness journey and I started all these new habits, at first it was so uncomfortable. But the more I did it, the more comfortable it became. The more I kept my own promises, the more confident I got. Is being on your phone a distraction for you? Practice leaving your phone in a different room. Put a podcast on set a timer. Is it a certain type of person in your life that maybe is getting in your way? Is it a negative vibe or energy? Is it the content you're consuming that's getting in your way of your mental flow? There could be so many different things getting in your way. Do an audit of your life and take a look at. Okay, what are some things I need to get rid of? There were definitely people that I stopped being friends with during my fitness journey. I definitely stopped drinking alcohol. I stopped sitting on my phone and scrolling. I stopped consuming negative content. I stopped wasting time. My third tip is to make it easy for yourself. What are some things you can do to set yourself up for success every single day? I am someone who absolutely loves the calendar. If it's not in the Google calendar, I'm not doing it. I like to time block. I like to see everything that's happening. From workouts to socializing to meetings, to podcast recordings to vacations to flights. Every single thing is in my calendar. Maybe you like to use the notes app to do list, checking things off. What can you do to make things easy for yourself? For me, every time I went to the gym, I needed to bring a plan. Otherwise I'd end up going, feeling confused, overwhelmed, and leaving early. Go to the gym with a plan. Have your favorite app downloaded with the workouts you like. Like the strength app by Mari, which I'll put in the description box. Have a plan. Before going to the gym, lay your workout clothes out. The night before, lay your sneakers out. Get that decision out of the way. Make sure your water bottle's ready with your electrolyte. Get everything set up so there's very Minimal obstacles in the way of getting yourself out the door into the gym. Maybe you struggle with nutrition. Go to the grocery store with a meal plan and a list. This was huge for me when I started my weight loss journey. Looking up meals that I wanted to make, making sure they were healthy, high protein, writing down all the ingredients I needed, going to the grocery store with a plan, meal prepping on Sunday nights, making sure everything's ready to go, and maybe setting up your workout schedule for the week. Get yourself ready and in a headspace where things are easy to check off and easy to achieve. My next piece of advice is to take note of the content you consume and who you surround yourself with. I think when it comes to productivity and discipline, this is such an important piece of the puzzle because if you are not mentally sound and in a good place, it's going to be difficult to check all these boxes off. Do the people around you support you? Are you, Are they there for you during your lowest lows and there to celebrate you during your highest highs? You want to have people like that around when you're going through a life transformation? Do they help you become the best version of you? Do they give you advice? Do they lift you up? Do they support you? Are you consuming content that makes you better? There's so much noise out there. It's so easy to doom scroll and get lost in drama and news and whatever it may be, are you consuming from people who actually inspire, inspire you and make you want to be better people? I love following Leila and Alex Hormozi. I find that they are great productivity and discipline leaders. I used to love following other fitness influences, health influencers. What are you focused on? Go follow those people, other business owners, whatever it may be. What are you doing for yourself spiritually and mentally? Are you taking time to have spiritual practices, meditations, gratitude practices, things that are going to help you feel mentally sound and ready to take on the day and ready to check off your tasks. It's not just about checking boxes, but doing things that make you feel whole. When I was going through my fitness journey, yes, I was definitely eating healthy, I was exercising, I was doing all the right things, but I also was mentally improving. I was getting more and more confident every single day, finding happiness in doing hard things. I think that is a really important piece of the puzzle. And finding tools that keep you happy is so important. Which leads me to my last piece of advice, which is being human. I think something that I've fallen a victim to before is becoming kind of like robotic we can get so rigid and so stuck on our goals and our routine that we almost become robotic. And I want to remind you guys that you can make it fun. You can have meals you look forward to, you can socialize, you can implement fun in the schedule in the Google calendar. You can have productive days, but then you can also implement days where you have free time. Time to be creative, time to have less of a schedule. I'm definitely in an era of my life right now where I'm needing a bit more flexibility and the go go go lifestyle isn't working for me quite as much. I think it's okay to to evolve and grow out of things. And I think keeping things fun is only going to keep you more consistent. Otherwise you won't enjoy the journey. I know how difficult it can be to implement so many different things at the same time. We all have these big goals and especially with all the distractions nowadays, I feel like productivity can be really, really tough. Having the power to control our time, our minds and get the most out of our days, it's really one of the most powerful tools we have.
- [11:37]
Mimi
Foreign.
- [11:42]
Mari Llewellyn
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- [13:15]
Mimi
Back when I was at the beginning of my personal development journey, probably around, you know, eight, nine years ago, I was reading all the books, I was doing the vision boards. I was trying to do all the things that the books were telling me to do that the motivational speakers were telling me to do. And my life started changing. But the one habit that I could not stick to was meditation. I tried all the apps, I tried all the YouTube videos, I tried everything. And I just couldn't stick to it it consistently because it just felt really boring to me. I was sitting with my eyes closed, like, itching to get up and like, go make my dream life happen. I didn't want to calm my mind. I wanted to go create. So I was reading about how visualization is so deeply powerful. And something clicked in my mind. I intuitively thought to myself, what if I just like, recorded my own visualization so I could listen to them in a way where I didn't have to carve out time from my day? So I took out the voice memos app on my phone. This was like mimi in her 150 square foot studio apartment in London when she was 20 years old. Okay. I took out my phone and I started recording these voice memos to myself. And I would just describe my future life. I would give myself pep talks, I would, you know, describe my future self and I would say affirmations in there. It was kind of just like a whole jumble of what I wanted my future to be. And then I would listen to these voice memos when I was cooking breakfast on the tube on my way to the gym. Whatever I was doing, I would listen to these and get really excited and like, feel the feelings of my future while I was just out living my life in everyday moments. And ever since I started this voice memo thing, my life was on a completely different trajectory. Things started changing very, very fast in my life and I think, um, me finding that need for myself was the catalyst to create this. And when I first launched Superhuman, I actually called them meditations because I didn't know what else to call them. And I just knew intuitively that I just had to launch this thing. But I would always preface, when someone would ask me about my product, I'd say, but it's like not a meditation app. I don't know what else to call it. And everyone in my audience was Just like, we don't know what to call it. We're just going to call it a meditation app. So last year we did this big research study and I had so many names in my notes on my phone of like what we could call these instead of meditations because they're just not meditations at all. And activations was always on that list. And we tested it with the audience. Everyone loved it. You can use it kind of in the same sentence, like, oh, I'm gonna go activate today. I'm gonna go do my activation, I'm activating whatever. So it just makes sense. And the truth is that these activations are so different to meditation. Meditation is meant to calm you. It's meant to help you not think about anything. It's about to clear, it's about clearing your mind. And then are quite literally designed to transform you into your future self. There's no silent sitting in activations. It's literally like this cinematic, empowering music. These words that just make you up level. It's about transformation, it's about achievement, it's about getting to the next level. So it's completely different fundamentally. And I know the world needed something like this because just like you, everyone that tries it is like, whoa, where was this? Also you can have it, stack it. So it's like so easy to implement. All you need to do is press play. It's like literally hacking your visualization practice. You're like, you know, reprogramming to become your future self. Practice is what I like to call it. I would rather go through a little bit of discomfort realizing that the life that I've created up to this point is actually because of me and no one else. To then feel empowered to do something to change it. You know, it comes with empowerment. I want to empower the world. I want, I wanted to empower myself. And it was a very hard truth to swallow and it was very uncomfortable and I resisted it for years. But then when I really just turned that page and realized, no, I am 100% responsible for the life I live. If I want to be happy and successful, that's up to me. That put the power back in me.
- [17:29]
Mari Llewellyn
On a really granular level, like day to day habits. How do you interrupt those thoughts?
- [17:37]
Mimi
That's the big question.
- [17:39]
Mari Llewellyn
Huh?
- [17:40]
Mimi
So I've realized that with my audios, with my activations, that's an incredibly good way to rewire your brain to notice the bad thoughts. It's not about preventing them fully, it's just about acknowledging when they arise. So that you can consciously make a new decision.
- [17:57]
Mari Llewellyn
Yep.
- [17:58]
Mimi
And with activations, because you do them in everyday moments, it's so easy to reprogram your mind when you're doing that consistently to start thinking different. Just like the Pavlov dog theory. We've all heard of that theory, right? The Pavlov rings the bell, the dog salivate. So what if you're doing a walking activation every morning when you're, you know, walking to the bus stop to get to your job that you don't like? Okay, let's just say you're in a really shitty place in your life. And the one thing that you're doing though is you're listening to a walking activation every morning for that 10 minute walk. Soon enough you're not even going to need that walking activation to feel inspired, empowered, unlimited, confident. You're just going to randomly start feeling that way. That's why associating these new thoughts with everyday actions is so powerful because the more you do it with repetition, the more you don't even need the activations to feel that way. So that's what's helped me and that's why I'm so passionate about creating this new category of audio. Because a, it's more pragmatic, it's not as spiritual as meditation. I am like you kind of a spiritual person for sure. But I like to talk about things based in more of a pragmatic, scientific way because I feel like that's just like you can't combat that and it's just a lot easier to understand. So, so for me that's, that's the biggest thing that has helped in the moment is that like constant kind of flow just in the back of my mind, you know, when I'm getting ready in the morning, I'll listen to an activation. And even if it's just like wealth reprogramming, affirmations, like later that day if I'm on a business call, like I just feel a lot more unlimited. I might say something different because I'm in that state of being. And your energy just changes. Like your frequency changes how you live and the energy that you exude just changes. And when you change your energy, you change your self image. When you change your self image, you change your energy. It kind of all, it's like this circle, right? Your self image creates your life. And this is another very, very big concept that changed me. Your self image literally changes everything in your world. When your self image changes, you naturally start doing different things. Your habits change, your beliefs and thoughts change. And then you just start changing. So what activations do is they help change your self image. These activations are based in self image psychology. And they're just like, you play them in the background, you don't even need to focus on them. And they will change your life. Just listen to it. And it's like, honestly, with meditation, I always had this connotation that it's like, oh, I have to do my meditation and I wouldn't do it with activations. It's like, oh my gosh, yes, I have to activate. I'm so excited.
- [20:44]
Mari Llewellyn
Let's talk about lucky girl syndrome. I feel like lucky girl, the lucky girl concept blew up on Tick Tock. And I'm sure you were like, I've been talking about this for years.
- [20:53]
Mimi
Literally. Well, everyone has kind of like, you know, it's, it's the basis of all of this work. I'm so glad it had its moment. And we actually have like the lucky girl activations on the app for like, you know, lucky girl affirmations or lucky girl like, embody your lucky girl energy. We have a lot of that on the app. But it's just the basis of all of this. If you feel like you are the type of person that gets opportunity, guess what's going to happen. The RAs in your brain is going to start filtering differently. Your reticular activating system. That's the filtration process in your brain that essentially decides what you notice and what you don't, what information it brings to your conscious mind and what it doesn't. Because if we noticed everything happening around us at all times, our brains would go freaking crazy. It's like too much information. So to trigger your RAs to start noticing new things, that is all based on your beliefs changing. So, for example, or like the thoughts in your mind changing. So, for example, if you are, I don't know, like thinking about buying the new Dyson Air app, like, this literally happened to me. I was like, oh, I really want the new Dyson Air app, Whatever. I start seeing it everywhere on Instagram and ads and I'm like, wait, this was always there. I'm just now thinking about it. Because I consciously was like, oh, I believe that I need a new one or something. So just like, you know, if you're gonna buy a red car and you start seeing it everywhere, it's not because they manufactured that car more, it's because you're noticing it. The exact same thing happens when you start reprogramming your mind to believe that there are opportunities everywhere. That you are meant to be destined to be a successful person. And then guess what happens? You're at an event and you meet someone and you're like, wait a minute, you do that thing, I do this thing. Why don't we do something together? Or you're just giving off this new energy and then this person that you meet is like, oh, you know what, I have this opening. Why don't you come work for me? It's. It happens in big and in small ways. And the lucky girl energy, you know, trend is amazing because it tells the world that if you believe something about yourself to be true, that's what you're going to receive. To create that future self vision inside of your mind, all you need to do is connect with yourself. I like to write when I'm designing my new goals or the next level version of myself. I'm constantly evolving my future self because I am constantly reaching next levels. So my biggest advice for people that lack clarity in life right now, it's like, stop getting distracted. We're living in a time where we are distracted every moment of the day. We don't even have time to connect with ourselves. How in the world can you expect yourself to feel crystal clear on where the direction is that you should go in life if you don't even have time to sit and think?
- [23:44]
Mari Llewellyn
Yeah.
- [23:44]
Mimi
So number one is get rid of distractions. And I would also say, like, start writing and put your phone away. You don't even have to do any of the writing activations on Superhuman or any guided journaling. Literally don't even do that. Don't put any music on. Just free write. That's what I would say for someone just starting free write, just do a brain dump. Get a journal out and just write. Even if you don't know what to write about, just write. For me, that was major. What journaling does is it keeps your focus on one certain flow of thinking because you're writing. And often you have to get through that, like, initial kind of uncomfort discomfort feeling of like really focusing on one thing to get to that clarity. So. So when I was first trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and when I was in that tiny dorm room in university trying to figure out like what my future was, all I literally did was write. And so that's my biggest tip for someone wanting to get clarity. We also, you can go deeper as well. Like once you understand that, like, okay, I want to make $600,000 a year, I want to have a partner that looks like this, acts like this, treats me like this. I want to have a house like this. Like, once you actually get clear on the physical things that you want, the most important thing is understanding the feeling of what it is to actually have those. So this is where most people go wrong. They'll do the vision board, they'll do the journaling, but then they don't actually do this part where it's like understanding the clarity on what the energetic set point is of this new self. So from in my eyes and in from what I've experienced with this whole transformation that I've seen in my life and in the tens of thousands of lives that have used superhuman is that it's actually about how it feels in your body. It's like visualizing it with your body as opposed to just thinking and seeing things in your mind. You need to feel it. So. And it's really not hard, by the way. It's super simple. This is like the easiest thing in the world. All you need to do is envision yourself already there.
- [25:56]
Mari Llewellyn
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. We often hear about red flags we should be avoiding in relationships. But what if we focus more on green flags in friends and partners? I'm obviously married, but I know so many people this time of year are looking for partners and even new friends. And if you're not sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify green flags, actively practice them in your relationships and embody the green flag energy yourself. Whether you're dating, married, or building a friendship, or just working on yourself, it's time to form relationships that love you back. Therapy has been such an important part for me of building a healthy relationship with myself and in my marriage. BetterHelp is fully online making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. And they have a network of more than 30, 000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Discover your relationship green flags with better help. Visit betterhelp.compal today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.hp.compo where did everything start for you? Who were you before? Melissa Wood?
- [27:02]
Melissa Wood
Health. You know, really lost in life and living a life of a lot of shoulds, which I think happens to most of us. And we don't even realize that we're in that cycle because we haven't developed the self awareness to be able to really like look deep within ourselves. And I can tell you I certainly didn't at that place in my life. But it was this really came to life through me being the most disconnected with myself and just really wondering and questioning like, this can't be it. Like, there has to be another way of doing this. Instead of torturing myself and being so awful to myself. You know, I didn't have a great relationship to myself. And it was being honest for the first time and wanting something different that really woke me up. And then asking for help was like the thing that really changed everything for me. Because I think a lot of us are living our lives in a way that maybe, you know, we're not the most proud of or we want more, but people aren't willing to really take a deep dive within themselves and make some real hard changes. And I had hit a point, point that I was just. That was my rock bottom of torturing myself and struggling with an eating disorder quietly for years and just binge drinking, binge eating. And it was just such a vicious cycle of hate towards myself, as you just said.
- [28:45]
Mari Llewellyn
I think the honesty part is key, and it was key for me in my journey. I feel like so many of us are, you know, we kind of tolerate a life that isn't exactly what we want because it's not painful enough. And a lot of us wait to hit that rock bot moment to be like, okay, I need to do something. So I can so relate to that. What did that rock bottom look like for you?
- [29:08]
Melissa Wood
I mean, it was. It was really just not loving myself. I think that was it just like really waking up to that realization and feeling really sad about it and just, you know, being on the floor after a night of drinking and binge eating and just. It felt awful and I. And just wanting. I wanted something different, you know, it was like. That was like the moment where I saw two roads and it was like, I can carry on down this road of mass destruction because I was very good at that. Or I could choose this new way and adapt new tools in my life to lean on when the anxiety came in, or feeling really low, you know, at moments of my life, instead of resorting back to these old tools that weren't serving me. It was like I. I saw it for the first time laying on the bathroom floor and just being like, okay, buckle up. Because I know that's also not. It's not the easy path.
- [30:07]
Mari Llewellyn
No, right. That's the thing. It's the harder. It's the harder path to be honest with yourself and say, wow. And take full responsibility for everything that you're doing and the way that your life is. Because I think I Mean, I know I personally looked for other things and people to blame for where I was at back then.
- [30:25]
Melissa Wood
Same, right.
- [30:26]
Mari Llewellyn
Like, it was like an almost an angry shame I felt. It was like, whose fault is this? Like, why am I not living the exact life that I want to?
- [30:33]
Melissa Wood
Right?
- [30:33]
Mari Llewellyn
You really need to turn inward and be like, oh, this is me. And I'm the only one who can get myself out too.
- [30:39]
Melissa Wood
100%. That is the thing that, you know, I grew up with a very dysfunctional upbringing that I think caused a lot of traumas in my life. But you can keep carrying that story or you can work at. To me, it's not changing it, but it's like altering the way that you look at it.
- [30:59]
Mari Llewellyn
How do you work on having a more positive dialogue in your head?
- [31:05]
Melissa Wood
It was through the time when my skin was the most broken out that I actually, I started reading two books that really helped me, like, turn to love within myself. And the first one was you can heal your Life by Louise Hay. Did you read that?
- [31:24]
Mari Llewellyn
I have it, but.
- [31:25]
Melissa Wood
Okay, that's fine. I mean, I pick up so many books and start reading and don't finish half of them.
- [31:30]
Mari Llewellyn
So this is a sign that I need to read.
- [31:31]
Melissa Wood
These are two that I did finish. And A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson taught me to, like, no matter what I knew I wanted, right? I wanted and desired clear skin so badly. It helped me learn to love myself as I was in that moment. Like, full acceptance of the place I was in. Which is so hard, right? Because you're like, but wait. But I don't. But I don't want this. But it's like, but the way through. And, And I say this a lot with people with weight loss, too, because I think when someone is unhappy with themselves and they, you know, say like, I need to lose weight, or I. I need to change everything in my life. I. I always try to. Like, it's all about shifting the perspective, because when you do that, you. You see yourself differently and you, you see the process of it differently instead of it just being like, I'm here and I want to get here. It's like learning to be with yourself at every stage of the process because it's just such a process. And I mean, I used to put, like, the post it notes on my mirror, and I would say, like, I love and accept myself exactly the way I am. And Louise Hay says to, like, look at yourself and say it. And it's so uncomfortable when you're like, but I don't. But I'm like, but I'm working on. On it. And like, to keep saying every morning. So mantra was. Was really helpful. And the thing that really, like, changed it all for me and for my skin. I was actually just having this conversation with someone who is struggling with acne. It was meditation because I strengthen my mind.
- [33:28]
Mari Llewellyn
You've been very brave and open about your previous eating disorder, which I think so many people relate to and can benefit from hearing you speak about. How has your relationship with your body evolved from then to now? Because now it seems like you have such a healthy relationship with yourself.
- [33:47]
Melissa Wood
I do. And I'm so grateful for. I really love myself. Like, I treat myself as I would treat my daughter. Like, I'm just like, I do so much every day. And, like, this body, this soul carries me. Like, I do everything that it takes and not in a strict or disciplined way. That is not the way I do things. It's just from love and care. It's like, I get. I prioritize sleep more than anything else in my life. I get at least seven hours of sleep sometimes. If Eleanor is having a rough night or something, it could be less. But I also factor in, just in case things could happen that I know I'll have enough sleep. It was definitely different when they were younger. But it's probably the one thing, the way I look at my weeks. And if I'm really busy, I won't do as much because I know that I need adequate amount of sleep because then I'm just, like, great. And I can, like, take on the world and do everything. But I treat myself really well. I like, I take the best care of myself. And I used to think that that was not cool. Which is crazy.
- [35:08]
Mari Llewellyn
Yeah.
- [35:09]
Melissa Wood
And I almost think there's, like, a massive wave of a trend coming back where, like, glamorizing hangovers and being completely wasted every weekend is cool. And I'm really here to let everyone know it's. It's not.
- [35:22]
Mari Llewellyn
Thank you.
- [35:23]
Melissa Wood
Yeah.
- [35:24]
Mari Llewellyn
Because I was the same way. I thought being as hungover as possible was cool.
- [35:29]
Melissa Wood
So cool.
- [35:29]
Mari Llewellyn
And I. I agree. I'm seeing it back on Tick Tock. And I'm seeing, I mean, young, young girls watching that, and it makes me cringe because I've been there, and it's not cool. You miss out on life.
- [35:40]
Melissa Wood
And I don't even, like, mean to pass judgment because I've also been there.
- [35:44]
Mari Llewellyn
Yeah.
- [35:45]
Melissa Wood
But as someone who's lived through it and has come out on the other end, I just want to share, like, that you can bring so much joy back to your life when you have the capacity to really hold space for all the amazingness that every day can bring. And when you're laying in bed sick and hungover, you don't care about anything. And it's just, you know, it can really weigh you down. So I do all the things that, like, lift me up. Like, I am so into my routine, but I have a very flexible approach. I think it's really important not to be too strict and too disciplined. I'm consistent as a motherfucker. Like, I am consistent. Consistent as they come. You can rely on me because I prioritize my my peace and my practice more than anything else. And then I'm able to do all of the things to my fullest potential. And I don't know about you, but I am here to live to the highest vibration that I can possibly create in this world. And the only way that we can do that is by tapping into complete alignment with ourself. And I think the way to do that, as you know, through taking care of yourself and also being okay with like. Like, I have pizza once a week. Like, I am so fluid with like, what I eat, what I drink, and I don't shame myself. I don't guilt myself anymore because I did for so long. I would beat myself up for eating something that was bad. And that's what led me to being bulimic for a handful of years because I couldn't deal with that self shame.
- [37:42]
Mari Llewellyn
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- [39:07]
Melissa Wood
Great question. And that's probably the number one asked thing that people ask me who have also had history of eating disorders. And for me, I always thought that I had an eating disorder because of the food. And it took me years of working with professionals and then also committing to my healing practice, my internal practice. And what it did is it really helped me to see like I never had an issue with the food. I had a dysfunctional relationship with myself. And the more that I committed to meditating daily, moving my body in a way that I loved myself, instead of trying to fix something or work something off that I ate the day before, the more I, I really built this like loving confidence within myself where I, I have gotten to a place now where I have zero triggers with food because I've healed my relationship with myself and I continue to heal my relationship with self. And it, it is a never ending journey, I believe. But for me, and I think people who suffer from eating disorders, it affects everyone is so different. And it was, it was like really strengthening that, that internal system that made it all just become so vividly clear where I was like, oh, wait a second, food isn't even the trigger. It was actually anxiety and just feeling so disconnected from myself. So if I do feel those feelings, which I do often, disconnected, anxious, I know what to do. Yeah, right. It's like I get back to work every single day. I wake up before my kids, I meditate for 20 minutes. It sounds long, it may sound extreme, but there is nothing more extreme than being on your bathroom floor with your hands down, you know, doing things to reverse something that you ate. So I don't look at it as any extreme. Like I'm willing to go that extra mile for myself to do all the things that help me feel more mentally stable and, and I'm a massive, just like believer for myself in therapy. And even when you, it's what has been really interesting at this point in my life is like, even when I think I don't need it, committing to it is what is helping me live in more of a neutral place. Your whole life can change. And like my whole life did change from redirecting my focus. It's very much like meditation, right? I think in meditation everyone's like, well, I can't meditate because I have to turn off or I'm constantly thinking and I can't turn off my thoughts. And I'm like, no, no. Like, we're not trying to turn anything off. We're redirecting our focus to our breath and, like, turning up that volume on, like, that inner voice. And that's. I mean, that was like, a big change for me.
- [42:27]
Mari Llewellyn
I love that you mentioned the meditation piece because I think the reason so many people are intimidated, myself included, is they feel like there's this rule that, like, when you meditate, you cannot think. And if a thought comes up, you're doing it wrong.
- [42:40]
Melissa Wood
Right.
- [42:41]
Mari Llewellyn
But I love that you said it's just about redirecting.
- [42:44]
Melissa Wood
It's redirection.
- [42:45]
Mari Llewellyn
And that applies to life too.
- [42:47]
Melissa Wood
I was just going to say that literally for, like, finishing each other's sentences. It's like, when things go wrong, it's a redirection in life. And I. I always love to say to people who are new to meditation is, try your best not to judge your practice. Like, after a meditation. Sometimes, you know, I'll hear people say, like, oh, that I had a bad meditation. I had a good meditation. Just be with. What is that day? Sometimes I can drop into, like, this transcendent state. Sometimes just. It's super surfaced. I don't drop in, but I'm still committed to it because I know that being with myself. And even, like, those moments of watching, like, I'm a big, big believer in, like, watching that inhale. And I've been doing nostril breathing and closing my mouth now when I meditate to really, like, deepen that resonance breathing, which helps lessen anxiety. And I mouth tape too. It. It has helped me, like, really learn how to breathe. Like, we're not breathing. And when you watch your breath, you're more apt to really breathe. And then when a thought comes up, because it will, or the to do list or the thing you forgot to do, or the appointment or the kid screaming in the background, let it be there. Don't force it away. Come back to your breath. So it's like, it's just a retraining. That's what we're doing. We're retraining our brains so good.
- [44:14]
Mari Llewellyn
And I feel like you could also carry that practice into the day because I'm someone who gets so overstimulated. Like, even the noises behind us right now, I hear it.
- [44:24]
Melissa Wood
That's okay.
- [44:24]
Mari Llewellyn
And it bothers me, but I keep bringing myself back here. And I think if you do that all day long, you just keep getting better and better at it.
- [44:31]
Melissa Wood
You really do and you learn that. Like, I think the thing that I have had really moved through with like my late 20s to I was literally just counting the years I've been meditating because I I started when I was 27 and through like my early 30s. I wanted everything to be calm. And then I had kids and I was like I would just meditate in the calmest, most peaceful place and it was like my meditation would not be a meditation if there was not quiet. Let me tell you, that really changed so quickly when I had. I mean, I can meditate. I am not kidding you, by the way. I've meditated in concerts. I have trained my brain to go in in the most chaotic of places. I've meditated in Times Square, park benches, taxis, like Ubers, airplanes. Because I think what we have to learn to do is to bring these elements of calm and ease to all the chaos of life. Because the chaos of life is never changing.
- [45:45]
Mari Llewellyn
Thank you for joining us on the Pursuit of Wellness Podcast to support this show. Please rate and review and share with your loved ones. If you want to be reminded of new episodes episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player. You can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites@marilewellyn.com it will be linked in the show Notes this podcast is a Pursuit Network production brought to you by Michaela Phillips, Joel Contartes, Daviel Waldner, Jen Lauren and Mackenzie Meisel. You can also watch the full video of each episode on our YouTube channel at Pursuit of Wellness podcast. Love you POW girls and POW boys. I will see you next time. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always, talk to your doctor or health team.