Redpilled Poetry Night: Vibecraft Edition (E365)

Summary

QAA Podcast Episode 365: Redpilled Poetry Night – Vibecraft Edition (E365)

Release Date: March 27, 2026
Hosts: Julian Feeld, Travis View, Jake Rockatansky, plus guests Andrew Hudson, Alex Branson, Charles Austin
Theme: Conspiracy, AI-generated poetry, online masculinity, and satirical cultural critique

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Episode Overview

This episode is the QAA crew’s fourth “Redpilled Poetry Night”—but according to the hosts, you don’t need to have heard the others; this is its own unhinged beast. The night’s theme: poetry for and by “redpilled” minds, with a twist—embracing collaboration with AI via a fictional app called Vibecraft, designed for “founders, flaneurs, and minor empire builders.” The show parodies tech boosterism, toxic masculinity, and the desperate subcultures of online grifters, content creators, and would-be cultural entrepreneurs. Expect roasts, absurdist monologues, self-deprecating poetry, and relentless lampooning of startup, hustler, and influencer cultures.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Setting the Stage: Redpilled Poetry and the Scene

• “We’re gonna be playing some characters and we’ve written some beautiful poetry for you to enjoy.” (00:50, Julian)
• The hosts sketch a hilariously bleak picture of the “venue”: broken chairs, stale snacks, sad men “on their fourth or fifth political pivot,” and a defunct popcorn machine (03:05–03:45).
• The mood is self-aware parody: “Men who are four to five beers in as well. A lot of walking caps.” (04:02, Julian/Andrew)

Notable Quote:
“I'd rather build with my bros than have sex with my hoes... I'm changing my name to Maurice Mindset, the lyrical vagrant with a patent for Porton.” (05:01, Julian/Maurice)

2. Vibecraft – Satire of AI Grift Culture

• Julian introduces “Vibecraft,” a fake AI poetry SaaS aimed at “poetrepreneurs”:
  “Vibecraft is the poet in your pocket for founders, flaneurs and minor empire builders who understand that language is leverage... it extracts signal from your interiority and renders it as verse optimized for seduction, prestige and psychic self-mythology.” (05:18–05:54)
• This becomes a running bit skewering both AI hype and the performative “business mind” masculinity (“With Vibecraft, every half formed grievance becomes an aphorism... every passing delusion becomes brand equity.”)
• The hosts play out exaggerated skepticism: “Honestly, rather not [support Vibecraft]. I’d rather pray for you guys.” (06:12, Charles)

3. Character Introductions & Bizarre Backstories

Each "poet" is introduced with a surreal, satirical mini-biography:

Hot Dog Taylor

• Failed “Jan 6 alone” cosplay sends him to jail on January 7th; laments failed rap career about “easy arrest.”
• Delivers a forced public apology per his parole officer (34:03):
  “I’m sorry my crypto coin downloaded child pornography onto your laptop. I’m sorry for the merch that burned holes in your nipples...”

Joseph Rogan, No Relation

• Has “pivoted” to running "Golden Point USA," a supposed youth outreach funded by "the incredibly 90 plus elderly."
• Lampoons boomer outrage campaigns (e.g., candy renaming, Mrs. Butterworth scandal), bizarrely blending scammy nonprofits, zine culture, and alt lit pretensions.
• Comically defensive about allegations of misused funds:
  “You know, a lot of it has to do with the salary I was given...” (13:49)

Jerome Durapois

• Briefly joins ICE, gets heatstroke, experiences a quasi-religious awakening, but is bullied for being “too skinny.”
• Travels to Dubai, threatens to kill influencer Ian Miles Cheong for disrespecting poetry, wields “an ICE gun.”

Thomas Kincaid Jr.

• Realizes poetry didn’t make him hot or popular; now “looksmaxing” and “streaming” on Kick.
• Obsesses about jawline, “jaw hammer thing,” and his status as “a 3” (out of 10).

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4. AI Vs Human Poetry: Vibecraft’s Output & Real Poems

Vibecraft’s Satirical Poems

• Joseph Rogan, No Relation – Vibecraft Edition (21:02)
  Surreal self-roast: “People said my name like it was a candle brand or a theory of intimacy... Titles come cheaply to the insufficiently loved... I am jealous of Maurice Mindset...”
• Thomas Kincaid Jr. – Vibecraft Edition: "I’m a cheeky little cunt" (27:31)
  Paranoid, aggrieved masculinity rendered as bathos:
  “Doomscrolling Truth at 3am by blue light, a prince of comments, king of hints...”

Human/Analog Poems – Mostly Unhinged Screeds

• Joseph Rogan (real): “Please Don't Fucking Kill Me” (23:16)
  Frantic, escalating rant about college campuses as warzones:
  “I just wanted to make a little fucking money for once in my shitty fucking life... The colleges are foxholes. Nostalgia is the portal to a better way.”
• Thomas Kincaid Jr.: “Wouldn’t it Be Gay If I Wrote A Poem For You?” (29:13)
  Deadpan nihilism around looksmaxing and popularity:
  “I don't respect anyone who would write a poem... Normies shouldn't be allowed to be named Chad...”
• Jerome Durapois: “Spiritual Botulism” & “Neon Shit” (40:19, 46:06)
  Conspiratorial rants about everything from soup kitchens and hormone meat to “the backrooms”:
  “School lunch is causing transgenderism, Serving hormone meat meant to destroy kids, jism...”

Poetic Parodies & Meta-commentary

• Hosts riff on what life/poetry/content would look like if only defined by attention, status-maxing, or even contempt for poetry itself.

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5. Meta Jokes, Self-Deprecating Banter, and Satire of Online Masculinity

• The podcast is littered with jabs at online narcissism, scamminess, influencer grifting, and the desperation for relevance.

• Banter about Kick, Twitch, sub counts, and the pointlessness of poetry:
  “Now I just make content for my stream. I don't really do poems.” (28:57, Kincaid Jr.)

• Self-loathing, body dysmorphia, and “mogging” are recurring themes—depicted as a black hole of online male insecurity.

• Multiple bits about eating coins on stream for subs, wanting to “be a tree” for clout, or being a “reverse panopticon” for attention.

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6. Key Quotes & Memorable Moments (Timestamps)

• The Redpilled Venue (03:05):
  "A group of body odor emitting men are kind of milling around pretending they're 23."
• On Poetry as Status (06:18):
  "Writing a poem, whether you're a person or AI or whatever is kind of stupid and a waste of time." — Charles Austin
• On Self-Hype (05:16):
  "We put down the hustler and we became hustlers. We stopped jacking off and started jacking in to the business mind spirit."
• On AI Output (21:02):
  "The face is the final border. No one stopped me." — Vibecraft/Joseph Rogan poem
• Apology Monologue (34:07):
  "I'm sorry my crypto coin downloaded child pornography onto your laptop. I'm sorry for the merch that burned holes in your nipples..."
• Analog vs. AI Poetry (28:54):
  "That's the kind of garbage I used to write when I did poems. That's why I stopped doing poems."
• Creative Burnout (61:13):
  "You really backed yourself into a creative [corner]..." — Jake to E1 Podcast crew

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7. Final Round of Poems, Absurdity, and Plugs

• Mads Bunny’s “R.K. Gandhi" Poem (47:35):
  A blackmail-commissioned, sexually charged AI satire:
  "I want to stick Florida into my mouth and take the Washington Monument right down to the base..."
• Joseph Rogan’s Lament: “Her Name Was Keegan...” (49:22):
  Mixes heartbreak and erectile dysfunction with product placement for cop shows.
• Jerome – “Joker Cola” (53:30):
  Reads an ingredient list as a poem, ending with “Antichrist. That’s called Joker Cola.”

Plugs & Meta-Ads (55:00+)

• Plugs for fake and real projects: "Money Wars" (Alex Branson’s in-progress book), "Golden Point USA" scam, E1 Podcast, podcasting meta-jokes, and a shout for "Spectral Voyager" miniseries.
• Final jab at their own self-promotion:
  “This is the most ads I've ever heard on a podcast that doesn't have ads.” (62:13, Charles)

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Standout Quotes

• “With Vibecraft, every half formed grievance becomes an aphorism, every situationship becomes literature, every passing delusion becomes brand equity.” (05:54, Julian)
• “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is paying attention, does it make a profit? Of course it does. So put me in a wood chipper, turn me into lumber. I'd be more beautiful that way.” (51:56, Charles)
• “I need an MRI, but I do not have healthcare and I'm afraid of how much metal might be in my stomach.” (40:58, Kincaid Jr.)
• “I crave the security that is the 55 and over community that is your heart without the riff raff of the present. I am contractually obligated by Golden Point USA to mention that reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger and MASH will be playing on Local 3 TV every morning at 5:30 and 6…” (50:21, Joseph Rogan)

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Structure & Flow

• The show alternates between group banter, performative readings of satirical poems (human and AI-generated), and comic asides about the state of online masculinity, creative desperation, influencer burnout, scam culture, and generational divides.
• Tense, funny, and sometimes bleak, the night is a carousel of in-jokes about the culture of online grifting, “red pill” disaffection, “vibe” as a business model, and the futility/absurdity of content creation as a way to personal meaning.

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For New Listeners

This is QAA at their most unfiltered, mixing hyper-current satire with bleak, creative absurdism. It’s part legitimate poetry slam, part savage critique of contemporary online hustle culture, and part extended riff on what happens when AI, nostalgia, and masculinity collapse into each other. If you like your satire with layers—and are willing to wade through irony so thick it becomes its own personality—this episode is both a parody and document of a decaying digital era.

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Ad-free; timestamps provided for each major bit. Skip to the poems (~21:00+) if you want maximal surreal payoff.

Transcript

[A]

Sa. If you're hearing this, well done. You found a way to connect to the Internet. Welcome to the qaa podcast. Episode 365, Red Pilled Poetry Night. Vibecraft edition. As always, we are your hosts, Julian

[B]

Field, Andrew Hudson, Alex Branson, Charles Austin, and Jake Rockatansky.

[A]

Okay, everybody, we've managed to escape premium and spill out onto main. If you have not listened to our red pilled Poetry nights before, there are three previous ones you do not need to list. Listen to them. This is definitely a standalone, but essentially, you know, we're gonna be playing some characters and we've written some beautiful poetry for you to enjoy. I feel like we do have somewhat of a character arc over the different episodes, but at the same time, I really don't think there's any, like, requirement to have listened to anything previous. I don't know, maybe I'm probably better

[C]

off just not listening to them. For your own sanity.

[A]

No, Charles, no.

[D]

Well, they might be better.

[A]

At least let Alex, like, advertise his book that we don't know the release date of before you threw in the episode.

[E]

I'm Alex Branson. I'm the writer and author of the Money wars. Coming soon in April at a time when I don't know the exact date,

[D]

but that's April, and April is soon.

[E]

So it's a comedy sci fi novel that posits the question, what if all wars were fought over money?

[A]

Yeah, that'd be crazy. It definitely doesn't sound like a Netflix, like, documentary that could actually exist.

[D]

Yeah, about like a cruise ship with, like, no toilets.

[E]

If you don't want to pick up the book when it comes out, just wait a little bit. It is soon to be a major motion picture, so either way, it will be showing up in your life very soon.

[A]

That's amazing. Is it actually? Are you just lying?

[C]

He's doing the lying bit.

[A]

Yeah, he's lying.

[C]

It's supposed to be funny.

[E]

It is a real book, though. It's just not out yet.

[C]

I think he's lying about the whole

[D]

thing or just the movie release.

[A]

Well, if you haven't checked out the E1 podcast, definitely do that. Listener. You can go to E1 podcast on Patreon or just search for for that name on any platform.

[D]

Look, these are funny guys. These are funny guys.

[A]

Greatest guy.

[D]

These guys make me, like, spit out drinks. We were on their show not too long ago and I had to mute myself. Cause I, like, choked because somebody said something that was so funny.

[C]

You said, we're making choke and spit. It sounds like, we're doing awful things to you. Yeah, Jake.

[A]

Jake is getting spit roasted by Elon.

[D]

So if you think we're funny, like, if you think me and Julian are funny and you like our kind of humor, they don't. These are the people who make us laugh.

[E]

Guys, my nose is bleeding. Stop.

[D]

See point and K. Case in point.

[A]

I need you, listener, to do a mental exercise. Like, hopefully you can rotate a cube in your head or whatever the hell that cliche is. But I'm asking you to picture a somewhat rundown venue quite empty. A few of the chairs are broken, there's some haphazard snacks and a bar run by a very sullen teenager. And a group of body odor emitting men are kind of milling around pretending they're 23.

[D]

This is the kind of place that has a popcorn machine that's long turned off. Like, no popcorn in it. Like, it's kind of like there's a reminder of, like, maybe the venue's heyday, you know, 15, 20 years ago.

[A]

There's a whole storage room that's just like three broken pinball machines that nobody even remembers how they got there.

[E]

Men that you can tell are on their fourth or fifth political pivot are sitting on some of the most weakest leg chairs you've ever seen in your life.

[A]

Men who are four to five beers in as well.

[D]

A lot of walking caps.

[A]

A lot of walking caps. All right, well, let's get this kicked off. What's up, everybody? Welcome to red Pilled Poetry night Vibecraft Edition. I know in the past we've thrown these events to access such jewels as I am the sheriff of this bathroom by Joseph Rogan. No relation. But tonight we're coming at you with a whole new perspective in the spirit of collab. Specifically collabing with artificial intelligence. That's right, brothers. We put down the hustler and we began became hustlers. We stopped jacking off and started jacking in to the business mind spirit. We're poetrepreneurs. And to be honest, I'm. Personally, I don't know about you guys, but I am done with girls. Like, I'd rather build with my bros than have sex with my hoes. And so in that vein, and because some fruitcake stole my last name and made a queer fuck app, I'm changing my name to Maurice Mindset, the lyrical vagrant with a patent for Porton.

[D]

Nice. Is Maurice short for Mauricio? Mauricio? Mindset is good also.

[A]

Hot dog. Come on, man, stop interrupting me. I have a very Very tight script here. Sorry, tonight is sponsored.

[E]

Sorry too.

[A]

Tonight is.

[E]

I'm not going to talk anymore.

[A]

Tonight is sponsored by my new.

[C]

I don't even care who tonight's sponsor.

[A]

I'm just going to power through. Which is the reason we've finally made it to a main episode on the QAA podcast, whatever that means. Vibecraft is the poet in your pocket for founders, flaneurs and minor empire builders who understand that language is leverage. It doesn't just write poems, it extracts signal from your interiority and renders it as verse optimized for seduction, prestige and psychic self mythology. Why wait for the muse when you can scale her? With Vibecraft, every half formed grievance becomes an aphorism, every situationship becomes literature, every passing delusion becomes brand equity. Plus, one big thing that I'd say about my new product, Vibecraft, is that you can't hashtag me to it, which is really a huge plus because I've had some issues with that in the past. But yeah, brothers, like, it's so good to see you guys and like build together. Like, can I get a fuck yeah for Vibecraft?

[D]

Fuck yeah.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[C]

Sounds kind of stupid.

[B]

Honestly, rather not. I'd rather pray for. Yeah, I'm going to. I'm just going to be praying for you guys this whole time.

[C]

I kind of think like writing a poem, whether you're a person or AI or whatever is kind of stupid and a waste of time. Since the last time we did this, I realized that a lot of people are trying to improve their, their station in society by writing poems rather than improving their looks or their finances. And it just seems honestly kind of a waste of fucking time.

[E]

Whoa.

[A]

I love the feedback. The feedback is so good.

[E]

I think like a prerequisite to like write a poem is like you have to be able to like kick gravel and like kick gravel around and like shuffle your feet and stuff. And I haven't seen an AI that can shuffle its feet yet.

[A]

This is really gonna help me build. This is really gonna help me build my brothers. So tonight is sponsored. Yeah, I already read that bit. With me Tonight we've got hot dog, washed up lunatic Taylor, my companion in co misery. What's up, hot dog? What happened to you since last time

[D]

I've been in jail.

[A]

Wait, what? How did you get to jail? What did you.

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

What do you mean? Oh, is it that thing where you tried to do like a January six, but alone and on the anniversary of January six?

[D]

It was chill.

[A]

Oh, but you got Arrested right by the.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, I think it confused everybody because you also showed up on January 7th, and you were a day late for it. So I think, like, nobody even put one or two together, that you were doing, like, an homage or whatever.

[D]

No, it was, like, just cops waiting for me. It was crazy. And then they took me, and then I went in as the last January 6th guy was coming out. So I thought I was sort of, like, going in with, like, all the homies, but it was just, like, guys who didn't like me.

[A]

Yeah. I'm so sorry that, like, I came with you, and then, like, last minute, I just kind of hung back. Felt bad.

[B]

It's all good. He's been crashed with Ariel Pink.

[A]

Oh, sick. John Mouse, too. Oh, man, you got to meet them. Fuck.

[E]

Huh?

[A]

They're so cool.

[D]

Well, I don't know. No, I was. Mostly they kept me just, like, in

[B]

the yard, like a dog.

[A]

The only guy he met is John Rat.

[D]

Yeah. Just, like, I had to stay outside in the jail. They said that that was a special thing for Gen 6 adversaries.

[A]

Did they. Did they give you good pats at least? Like, as a dog?

[D]

I guess you could call it that.

[A]

Okay, well, that sucks for you, and I'm again, really sorry that I ditched you. I just. The vibe was off. Like, shit was. It was just. It felt weird. And so I was like, maybe I just will be like, yeah, I'm right behind you, and then send you into the fray.

[D]

Yeah, I just kind of sort of like, felt like I was walking up to two police officers and asking them to arrest me.

[E]

That's what the YouTube video looked like. It really did look like that. Just looked like you just walked right up. Your. Your hands were in front of you, kind of out. Like your wrists were waiting to be shackled. They didn't really know what you were doing, I feel like.

[A]

But, yeah, you've heard of Suicide by Cop? He did Arrest by Cop.

[E]

Mm. And you thought people would be inspired, but I really don't know. In what specific way would they be?

[A]

Oh, I remember what happened. I was supposed to.

[E]

Because the copycat crimes is just more people turning themselves in.

[A]

I didn't even film.

[D]

Yeah, but then. Well, then I had this whole record release. I was trying to do the. I had this whole album about, like, you know, sort of like. Like, walking into sort of an easy arrest. And it turns out that, like, that's not what people want to hear about in hip hop music. They'd rather hear about you, like, avoiding the cops. Or like running away or killing. Killing them or doing that sort of thing. But I. Yeah, so. So the album was kind of a flop. I gotta do, you know, I can't even do a poem tonight. My publicist is making me read an apology. Oh, so that's great.

[A]

Well, we'll get. We'll get to that. We could just pretend that that's your poem since you've once again let us down.

[D]

Hey, man, come on. Come on, man, come on. I'm working on my accountability. I'm here, aren't I?

[E]

Well, you say you're working on your accountability and you're just saying, come on, man, I'm working on it.

[A]

Speaking of accountability, we've got Joseph Rogan, no relation. What's up?

[E]

Hi, how are you doing? You know, I'd like to kind of announce my pivot, the way in which I'm kind of restructuring my, you know, life on social media as a necessity, sort of. I have started Golden Point usa, which is a non for profit youth outreach group funded by and and directed by the incredibly 90 plus elderly. Golden Point USA is an excellent way, if you are an older, wiser person, to be able to exert your influence on the younger generation, even if you are currently not allowed to contact your grandchildren or even your adult children. So guys, I just kind of want to shout out Golden Point usa. I've been doing a lot of work with them. You may recognize Golden Point USA from our viral videos where I go to college campuses in full bulletproof armor and I beg the students not to to hurt me. That's had a ton of views.

[D]

So those are great videos.

[A]

Hot Dog is not a child. But he could have definitely done with some elder counsel and stuff before he did that thing that I helped him.

[E]

Oh, yeah, well, we really don't do that kind of stuff. It's mostly about like, it's wrong to change the name of a candy that's been that way for hundreds of years. And it was just fine then. So I don't see what the big deal is. That's actually like our number one donor base point of contention. I try to tell. I'm like, listen, I can't even say the name of the candy you're talking about. It's too much.

[C]

It is true.

[A]

It was very disappointing when the woke renamed it Worthless Originals.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember. I remember you guys from the Mrs. Butterworth scandal in 25.

[E]

Yeah, I mean that's, you know, that's something that most of our donor base, you know, has already forgot about. Which is kind of the best part of our donor base is, you know, really, anytime I want to say something that they don't. I don't want them to hear, I kind of say it in the middle, and then they stop listening. And then I end, you know, when I'm talking to the older donors, I'm just, you know, I start talking about young Sheldon at the end, and their ears pick up and then I go like. And that's why we need more young Sheldon on TV espousing 1950s values. Like how smart kids are a little gay.

[C]

Old people are, like, ugly as fuck, though. Like, why do you care what they think?

[A]

Is that, like, when a girl, like, slams her finger, like, in the fridge and it gets all puffed up and so, like, everything is hot. Butterfinger.

[E]

Let me check with my youth handbook. I think that's what the current terminology was. I got one of these, but it's not really up to date. You know, we're mostly funded by Project Silver, which is a super AARP, a startup accelerator for investors only over 100 years old. So a lot of our stuff can be a little outdated. Our main donor is a guy named Aldo Ceviche that wants us to raise awareness for Jayne Mansfield.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It's cool that you're picking up where Charlie Kirk left off.

[D]

See, like, the old hot dog Taylor, like, he would have already been, like, thinking of, like, other, like, businesses that could prey on people that have the memory of goldfish. But, like, instead, I'm just going to, like, not think of that and, like, not try to start, like, any new businesses or, like, coins or projects or, like, entities or anything like that.

[C]

Well, I wouldn't really look down on people with the memory of a goldfish as long as they look better than a goldfish.

[A]

Oh, that's so true. Everything is hot butter species.

[E]

So if you guys are a fan of Golden Point usa, we have a new billboard coming out soon outside of Tucson, Arizona, that says, remember Bob Newhart from All in the Family? No, that's not right. It's Carol o'. Connor. And then we show a picture of Bob Newhart. So that billboard we raised $500,000 for and really proud of it with Golden Point USA.

[A]

What about that article, you know, geekslap.org or net or whatever it is now, since it got bought by, like, Vox Media conglomerate that was saying that you, like, essentially kept most of that money for yourself?

[E]

Well, you know, a lot of it has to do with the salary I was given and, you know, kind of really, I was Handpicked to run Golden Point USA because of my cultural bona fides, you know, I was a fixture of the mid aughts, New England alt poetry and oats and GR scene, moving into the wildly lucrative zine scene. And then I moved right after that in, you know, the mid-2000s to the Bushwick allegation scene before I finally ended up in male run but female centric commune farming. So really, I'm the only guy, really with the qualifications to run Golden Point USA who can talk to both the very young, the criminally young, and the very old.

[D]

Were you the guys behind the have you seen this zine?

[E]

Campaign that was you raising awareness?

[D]

Have you seen this zine? Oh, man, I was trying to sample that for a really long time. Like, have you seen this zine? Staple. Staple. Piece of papal.

[E]

We're behind the ironic Golden Girls reclamation project. That was a way to, you know, get elderly influence back to young people.

[D]

So I thought I heard that was scrap.

[B]

Jose has been doing this for year. Like 10 years ago, he was calling himself the Human Zine. This is like, not anything new. It's not. It's not that cool.

[E]

Mostly because I was. My clothes were made of paper.

[A]

Joseph, honestly sounds like he's running a scam and I don't want to. I don't usually call stuff scams, but this one sounds like an actual scam. So we're going to move on for now. Jerome Durapois. What's. How are you? How you. How's your hanging?

[B]

I joined ice. And then like my first shift, I got heat stroke, so I had to go to the hospital. And while I was in the hospital, I opened a Bible and it changed my life, to be honest. And then I found out like, what page?

[D]

What page? What page you open to page one.

[B]

And I found out, like, women trick men into sitting. So like all my sins and what they call mistakes that I've done to them was like their fault. So I was like. I thought. I felt so vindicated and I felt like such a cross be lifted off my shoulders. Like, like I had my own. Like, I didn't get. Like, I was crucified my whole life, but instead of like, like in the

[E]

Bible, like the next day he got such a cool necklace.

[C]

The reason that like, like women do that is because, like, men are. Men are more attractive than women. And so like Eve was like a three.

[B]

No.

[A]

Have you ever sinned? But it's not against a woman.

[B]

No. But like I was saying, like with Pontus Pilates or whatever, he, like, says, we're gonna kill Jesus instead of Barabbas. For me, I felt like I got to become Barabbas. And I got saved from being crucified, finally.

[A]

That's cool. I mean. And you're doing God's work with ice.

[B]

Well, I had to quit because of the stroke. The sun's seat stroke. It wasn't like, a real stroke, right?

[A]

You were just sitting in the sun for.

[B]

But what's funny is, like, they put a bunch of ice on me. So I was like, it's a sign from God.

[A]

Don't they have those little, like, ice umbrellas for. For the more frail of you?

[E]

I hear they have, like, those misting stations, like, at Six Flags for hot ice ages.

[B]

Well, they also. A lot of the. A lot of the guys in ice, right? Clowning on me because they say you're way too skinny. Like, you don't. You have to be a fat thumb guy like us. Like, you look like a little shrimp. You look like a little weasel. And they're like. They're giving me, like. No, they're doing, like. Like, Indian burns on my arm. And.

[E]

Yeah, making fun of you because the back of your head wasn't fat.

[A]

Usually, like, the whole morning is spent at, like, a water park. So I guess in this case, like, they. It was, like, closed that day because one of you pooped in it. And then. So you weren't cooled off. So. That's dangerous. That's really dangerous. Honestly, like, ice is doing dangerous work.

[B]

I still got my bonus, though. I still got my bonus.

[A]

Oh, amazing. In dogecoin.

[B]

No, they wouldn't give it to me in that. It was just in straight cash. But I was. Then me and Joseph. Me and Joseph went to Dubai for, like, a week. Because he was doing Golden Point there, so.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

Dude, I think I did see you in that video with Ian Miles Chong.

[D]

I thought I saw you guys on the. On the video of the highest roller coaster in the world.

[B]

Yeah, it was sick. And I didn't talk to Ian. He tried to talk to me. I said, if you talk to me, I'm going to fucking kill you. And because I saw my ice gun. He's a fat pig. He's a fat pig. He doesn't respect poetry.

[A]

Yeah. They let you travel with the ice gun, especially if you're going to the Gulf States. Ok, well, who do we have? I can't remember who we have left. Oh, yeah. Thomas. Thomas Kincaid Jr. How are you doing?

[C]

Well, basically every poem I've ever written has sucked. And I was really just doing it for attention anyway. And it's like, if you're trying to get attention, then why don't you do the stuff that works rather than the stuff that no one cares about? Right. So I've just been, like, streaming on Kick, trying to do anything I can to get those subs.

[A]

What kind of stuff have you done?

[C]

Well, mainly I'm trying to look better because now that, you know, now that we're on Quick Kick, we're. We're streaming, everyone's looking at us all the time. I'm trying to look better. So I was trying to jaw hammer thing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'm looks maxing. I was trying the jaw hammer because

[A]

you used to be gesture maxing all the time.

[C]

That's what I realized. I didn't know that's what I was doing, but now that I know this kind of the scientific terminology for what I was doing all these years, it just seems so pointless.

[A]

Right.

[E]

Are you. Is it. Are you streaming right now?

[C]

Yeah, I'm streaming this whole thing.

[D]

Oh, my.

[B]

How many.

[D]

How many viewers do you have?

[E]

No, we were doing that. I would have wore cooler clothes.

[C]

We have, like, 15 viewers right now, which is more than we have IRL right now.

[A]

There's no way we have good WI fi down here. Like, he's. It's gonna look like shit. Don't worry about it. You're no one.

[D]

No, no, it's good. 15 is fine. My. The PR agent said.

[A]

Said.

[D]

Said. Public apology. It has to be public, so as long as 15 people see it. We could do it now on here. Nobody else has to read it or hear it or see it.

[A]

Definitely. We'll get back to you on that, and we'll come back to you, and we'll circle back to you. What, first? So you can. So far, you can do your apology.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

So. But tonight, instead of. Because I'm.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

I'm on this. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of, like, selflessness. Is that kind of like a growth hack? Yeah, it's like a Pixar movie. And it's also like.

[E]

Oh, I know. Selflessness. He's that streamer that beats up pedophiles, and he, like, tricks those pedophiles and he beats the out of them and gives chin splints and shit.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's him.

[B]

I know.

[E]

Wait, no, he's the guy. He's not on Kick. He's the guy on Twitch that puts the pedophiles in the brazen bull. The bronze brazen. Bull that he heats up over a fire.

[B]

He stole that one guy with down syndrome from his house and made him eat a lizard on his stream.

[A]

So, yeah, so I'm doing the selflessness thing, and I didn't want to make this whole thing about myself, so instead, I've decided to showcase Vibecraft by demonstrating that copyright Vibecraft 2025, 2024. By demonstrating that it can easily write poems by any of you dumbasses. So, first up, we have a poem by Vibecraft version of Joseph Rogan, no relation. Trademark.

[E]

Wait, what?

[B]

I could definitely copy him. His shit is such garbage.

[A]

Wait, yeah. Yeah, it's really bad. So it's gonna be this.

[E]

You're copying my poems? Why? Why wait?

[A]

Well, no. Where we feed them into the LLM or the. Whatever they call the.

[E]

Do I, like, give you permission to do that, or if I ask for permission or you don't have to. That. Does that mean I'm a Luddite? I'm not a Luddite. I like the future. I'm glad that you did this.

[A]

Well, actually, I mean, you'll notice that I'm collecting data right now, so all of this is being fed in to the system right now.

[E]

So if I throw up while you're reading it, it doesn't mean I don't like it.

[B]

By the way, you're not a Luddite, but you're like, kind of like a Corinthian, I think.

[A]

Well, see, that's one of the things with Vibecraft version of Joseph Rogan, no relation, is that he doesn't throw up. And it doesn't do sex crimes.

[E]

Allegedly.

[A]

Okay, so after we listen to, like, this better version of you, then you can share your writing with us, brother. But in the meantime, let's admire how well I've replaced you. So this is. I think I'm so great, but I'm not. And my book deal fell through. By Joseph Rogan. No relation. Vibecraft edition.

[B]

Accurate.

[E]

Shut the fuck up.

[A]

I used to stand in the kitchen with a plum and a legal pad and think, yes, this is what history must have looked like from the inside. A man in socks. A man with a face like a regional magazine. A man preparing to become inevitable. I had a jawline I considered under leveraged. I had a bathroom mirror that told me I was early. People said my name like it was a candle brand or a theory of intimacy. I had momentum. I had a tote bag full of notes about tenderness, logistics, and the decline of American denim. I had three women tell me I seemed unreadable which I took as a grant. I am jealous of Maurice Mindset. My book was going to be called Hard Bloom or the Beautiful Siege or Notes Towards a Higher Male Weather. Titles were easy. Titles come cheaply to the insufficiently loved. The manuscript itself was 248 pages of lacquered pen.

[E]

Never written anything that long.

[A]

A chapter on collagen, a chapter on Milan, A chapter arguing that modern sadness is partly architectural and partly endocrine. Several pages in which I more or less claimed that canola oil had feminized me. I am jealous of Maurice Mindset. At one point I described desire as a frontier metabolism. At another I wrote without irony. The face is the final border. No one stopped me. Then my agent called. He had that calm tri state euthanasia voice. That means your little Midwestern Caesar act has reached a man who has had lunch with adults. He said the editors admired the writing but didn't know how to position it. Which is publishing language, for we cannot sell your psychosis in a spring catalog. I am jealous of Maurice mindset. Trademark Copyright VibeCraft 2026. Pretty good, right? I mean, we don't even. You can just leave if you want.

[B]

I mean, if it's actually pretty good. It was actually pretty good.

[A]

If you're gonna be puking and stuff, you can just leave because you're not as good as this.

[C]

Are you done reading yet? Joseph Rogan? It was just as boring as all your other.

[B]

Well, actually, I thought it was way better he could write something that good.

[E]

I can write way better than that. I can do that. I can do that. I'm still a poet. I am still a poet.

[B]

Why are you pinching the tip of your dick? Why are you grabbing your dick?

[E]

It helps me calm down, dumbass.

[A]

Don't use the nails. That's why you have scars.

[E]

My dick. It's my dick. Let me show you a real poem. Can I show you one of my. Can I show you one of my poems? I had. Whatever. Fine.

[A]

Okay. We'll have an organic poet. Whatever like. Or like. Whatever. Old fashioned, outdated, analog.

[B]

I'm going. I'm gonna go to the bathroom while you read this.

[E]

I'm gonna. I guess I'm gonna read a poem. I guess I'm gonna fucking read. This poem is called Please don't fucking Kill me. Oh, my God. Oh, my fucking God. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't made for this level of intensity. I just wanted to make a little fucking money for once in my shitty fucking life where everyone hates my fucking guts. And now everyone wants to fucking light my ass up like a Christmas tree with a million target ornaments on it. Fuck me. Air me out like the 10 pound bitch I am. The bullets ripping in and out of my flesh sounding like ten guys from fucking an air mattress. Holy shit. Don't kill me. Don't kill me. I will beg like a dog so my tongue can bathe in the divinity that is the mud tainting your boots. I don't need to be here. I made millions in zines. Every college campus is a meat grinder for genius brains. All flesh is forfeit. The library is Hellraiser. The student community center is all the bad parts from Blood Meridian combined. The quad is like the sniper movie with Jude Law. I can't remember. The college gymnasium is exactly like Zika island was during Fyre Fest. Remember that? Get me out of here. Get me back to my old life in the real America where you can get a 5 cent milkshake down at the old 5 and dime where it costs $10 for a house and you spend all day getting topped to the soundtrack from train dreams. Take me back. Get me out of here. The colleges are foxholes. Nostalgia is the portal to a better way. I know that. My generation knows this is true. I have seen the way we talk about Harry Potter. We're ready. Go to the future. We are looking constantly towards the past. I see the future so Clearly. It is 2080. The only remaining political parties are the great houses from Harry Potter. The infinite culture. The past made present made future, again and again and again. Paradise itself of permanent humanity. As the lightning bolt of that thought reaches my brain on the quiet campus, a sniper's bullet the size of an elephant sends my brains to Venus and buries my bones in the center of the earth. I am destroyed so thoroughly that you cannot ever prove I existed.

[C]

Wait, did you really die or was that a poem? Because I have a bet on Polymarket that you're gonna die this week.

[E]

Well, I haven't. Yeah, I haven't died yet. That was just a poem about what it's like. What it's like to be me.

[C]

Okay, well, there's still time. It's for this. This whole week?

[A]

I think it's pretty good, but it's like, mostly good because I just got all the data I need so that next time the voice has more passion in it.

[D]

I feel a little uncomfortable being here at this, like, harvesting event.

[C]

I'm just doing a stream. I'm just harvesting clout.

[A]

Well, it's not like the last time I Harvested, you hot dog. Like that was a bit different.

[D]

Yeah, that was a bit more like Matrix.

[A]

Yeah, Matrix, but for like a different part.

[B]

I think being in the Matrix is the good part.

[D]

A lot of people don't realize.

[A]

Yeah, that's in one of the poems that Vibecraft.

[D]

Yeah, definitely. Definitely, definitely, definitely.

[A]

I love. I love the Matrix. I like the Matrix because you can hack it.

[E]

Steak with wine sauce. That's what I take from it.

[A]

That's like the best scene in any movie. Okay, well, I've got another little poem here. This one's by Thomas Kincaid Jr. Vibecraft Edition and it's called I'm a cheeky little cunt. I arrived late, which is to say precisely when the traitors pray. The room was beige, the wine was thin. I felt the great replacement of the masculine beginning not by armies, not by law, by softer things a nod, a poor A recommendation panel slot Some woman saying love this when she did not. I know the pattern, I've mapped the thread. The little smiles, the tilting head, the way they say you're being strange when what they mean is you have named the hidden hand, the curated rot, the whole enchanted soy based plot. Cheeky little cunt, that's me all right. Doom scrolling Truth at 3am by blue light, a prince of comments, king of hints, living off podcasts, gumshoe instincts, screenshots, rumors, vibes and foam making a bunker of a one bedroom home. I see the lattice, I smell the fraud, the seated grant, the absent God, the dead eyed boys in fleeces clean, the ghoul girls building the future scene, the tasteful purge, the smiling knife, the total admirification of life. They call it healing, they call it care. They put a fern in the electric chair and me, I stand and swayed and rage, half minor prophet, half unpaid page declaring war on the ambient regime with a nicotine heart and a college in dream. And here's the blackest joke of no one conspired to make me small. No star chamber, no occult board, no velvet council of the restored, just me, a little ridiculous fraud making a cosmology from being ignored. Cheeky little cunt, with your coated cough, your folder full of things cut off, your grand male pain, your doomed substack tone, your sacred conviction that you alone can feel the gears, can read the mist can turn a flop to a manifestoist. But the room moved on, the wine stayed bad, the poem was weak, the fit was sad. In all your theories, burnished grand could not disguise the trembling hand of one small man in a tasteful coat trying to make his sulk denote a secret war, a fallen age instead of what it was. Stage rage. Cheeky little cunt. Light another clove. Tell yourself exile is proof of Loave Vibecraft Copyright Trademark 2025, 2026, 2027.

[C]

That sounds like the kind of garbage I used to write when I did poems. That's why I stopped doing poems, because they all sounded like that.

[D]

Yeah, that shit's. That kind of sucks.

[A]

Interesting. What do you do now?

[C]

Now I just make content for my stream. I don't really do poems. Exactly. Could you say it a bit more

[A]

clear but like, into like the little mic that I have like, attached to your stream?

[C]

Okay, well, maybe I'll give you a taste then. One of these. This one is called Wouldn't it be gay if I wrote a poem for you?

[A]

Yeah, I need at least one or two of your poems. Oh my God. What's the name? What's the title?

[C]

This one's called Wouldn't it be gay if I wrote a poem for you? I don't respect anyone who would write a poem. I don't respect anyone who does anything that doesn't make them hotter or more popular. Also, I hate superficial normies. Normies shouldn't be allowed to be named Chad. Chad is a title you earn, like NBA champion or Grand Wizard. Sports are gay and so are racists. Basically. Sports and KKK's are ways for ugly people to get attention. Being 8ft tall makes you a 3, and even a 3 mogs someone who wears a white sheet over their head. Wouldn't it be gay if I got surgery to be eight feet tall for you and play basketball for you? Wouldn't it be gay if I became KKK for you? Wouldn't it be gay if I wrote some stupid little poem to impress you with not my looks but my words? You know, words, those things that even ugly people know. Everyone who has ever existed is ugly. Adonis was a four, and even he mogs me because I am a three. Every moment of my life feels like an eternity, a long eternity in which I am A3 being mogged by all the fours who have ever lived across all of time and space. And that would be a kind of gay thing to express in a poem.

[A]

Wow, that's really something special. Was that about how, like, I. Because I saw a clip recently posted by, like, you know, stupid clip farm.

[E]

Fuck Selflessness posted it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, right. Yeah, Selflessness posted it. Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. Fuck. I was confused spelled with a three. But like, apparently clavicular came out as bisexual.

[C]

Well, I'm not really interested in anybody. I just think people should be attractive. I'm not necessarily attracted to men or women or whatever. It's more about attention.

[A]

You just watch like way too much.

[D]

There's no bias, just sex. It's just sexual.

[A]

Like it feels kind of wool.

[D]

It's. That's what he wants, I think.

[C]

Well, no, because also keep in mind he's a six and I'm a three, to be fair.

[E]

Messed up psychologically because during COVID he was living in that bedroom that had mirrors on the ceiling and all the walls and the floor.

[C]

I just kind of realized that I wasn't good looking because I had to like look in a mirror for the first time in my life.

[E]

He also had that see through mattress he was sleeping on. So he just looked at himself all the time.

[A]

Yeah, you had to. You had to fix it by nutting in all different directions enough and then smearing it on the stuff so you couldn't see yourself. Yeah.

[C]

And that's why. Banned from Twitch. That's why I'm on kick now.

[A]

And it looks like someone AI upscaled you when you're jacking off now.

[C]

I wish someone would have.

[E]

That's just how he looks now. He's just got the sir. He got the chemical peel that's like the GeForce Experience chemical peel that you can get in Brazil. That sort of upscales you.

[A]

Thomas, I think I met you in fucking Crimson Desert, dude.

[D]

I think I read somewhere that if you nut due south, you have better dreams.

[E]

He looks like the resident Evil remaster a little bit right now. But you know, he says it's going to get better.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, part of my look. Like my looks might actually be getting worse because like I've been like swallowing quarters on stream when someone subs. I've been putting like dirt down my shirt. Like anything just to kind of differentiate in this like crowded space.

[A]

There's no way you're a dom. There's no way you're a dom. No one is subbing for you. No one is subbing for you especially.

[C]

You don't get any girls.

[E]

A lot of like the stupid kids will sub to him. He gets a lot of like stupid kids, like ugly done kids. Like total loser kids. Like duds. Like no good for nothing, can barely tie their shoes kids.

[B]

I only saw the one streamer. He was at the zoo and he was like looking at the gorillas. He's like, chat, do you dare me to get by this gorilla? Do you Dare me. And he was trying to climb in there, but he didn't get to go,

[E]

dude, that was selflessness. He's hilarious.

[D]

It'd be cool if on your stream like Resident Evil, like, you open doors really slowly. Like that could be a thing that you do on Kick. And like, maybe you could just like stand in front of a door for a really long time and like, if enough people sub, like, then you could open it like a little bit. And then if more people sub, you could open it a little bit more. I think that would be really cool to watch and pay for.

[A]

Yeah, like in those original Batman games where you had to tap the button to open every single grate throughout the whole fucking game over and over and over. That. But for opening doors in real life,

[D]

it'll be like that. That's like what people will be doing. Subbing to your kick. It'll be just like the subbing. Subbing, subbing, subbing, subbing like you'd be a millionaire.

[C]

If I was president, I would drop a nuke on whoever chat told me to. But you can only chat if you submit.

[A]

Okay, so my AI assistant is telling me that we need Hot Dog Taylor to do a longer piece of Unbroken speech. So could you do that apology? Since you have once again failed us and not wrote a poem, let me

[D]

check with Stacy to see if it's okay if I read it.

[A]

Who is Stacy?

[D]

Oh my God, you're so my publicist.

[A]

You're so pushy.

[D]

My public relations assistant.

[B]

You sure it's not your po?

[D]

Oh, that's what it was. What does that stand for? I thought it was public. Public Resistance po Anyways. Yeah, that. Yeah, more like pu.

[A]

You smell awful.

[D]

So let me get it up here. I wrote it on an actual piece of paper.

[E]

I'm lying.

[D]

I typed it into my phone.

[A]

Yeah, I figured. I was like. I don't think I've ever seen you touch a paper.

[C]

Yeah, not even a toilet paper.

[A]

No, that's for sure. That's why he's so stinky.

[D]

Yeah. So, yeah, instead of my. Instead of a poem, my PO is making me read this apology letter. I would normally post it online like everyone else, but I've been banned from all social media as part of my court ordered rehabilitation. So I guess I'll just start. I'm sorry. I'm sorry my crypto coin downloaded child pornography onto your laptop. I'm sorry for the merch. The merch that burned holes in your nipples and turned the rest of your laundry a gay shade of pink. Pink. I'M sorry. I should have never said we should do another January 6th at the Jimmy Kimmel building. I am working overtime with law enforcement to help find the rest of Jimmy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for sharing my wayfair discount code that ended up with many of you being shipped a child inside of an armoire. And I'm especially sorry for anyone whose child showed up dead. I'm sorry for the track heroes of mine, which included three different samples of Adolf Hitler speeches. And I'm sorry for my cross promotion with Capri Sun. I did not know that they were DEI. I'm sorry that I told you Mr. Pibb was a miracle drug. It cannot cure gout. It cannot cure measles. I'm sorry for thinking Covid was real for a minute only. I'm sorry to my fans, especially the ones in jail. And I'm sorry to my family, all in jail. And lastly, and lastly, I'm sorry to myself. I let myself down by causing so many of my fans to die or become imprisoned while I myself walk free. While I myself walk free as a bird enjoying. Enjoying all of the wonderful beauty that life has to offer. Fuck you. I'm sorry. Hot dog Taylor, sincerely. Apologies accepted. Thank you.

[E]

Whoa. The most sincere apology I've ever heard. It was beautiful.

[A]

I think that's a. That's a clean, clean sample right there that I got. Yep. It looks like it's building.

[E]

I love every apology that mentions you're free as a bird.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Can I say something? Never apologize for who you are, dude.

[D]

That's what I've been telling myself.

[B]

But tell that to your P.O.

[D]

but yeah, they said that. They said if I don't do the apology that I might have to go back. Oh, into the yard.

[A]

Yeah, well, whatever. Yeah.

[D]

Just don't tell where I am the chessboard, if you know what I'm saying.

[A]

You didn't tell them anything about like me and my kind of role in it or anything, right?

[D]

What do you mean? They were like. The first thing they asked was like, who are you with? What's his name? What's his telephone number? Did he just recently get a green card? All of that stuff? Like, yeah, it was like the first five questions. Like, first five questions they asked. First five I answered. What do you think I was going to go to jail for 10 years instead of 7?

[A]

This means that I'm like. The only reason I'm not currently being put in to shackles is because of someone got a sunburn.

[D]

Well, yeah, I don't know. What's going on with your case? I'm not allowed to speak on that.

[E]

You know, even though I did drive the van to drop you guys off down there, I think I am going to get away with it just because of my deep connections to TurboTax through Project Silver.

[B]

Well.

[D]

Well, yeah, well, you also just dropped us off at the. You just dropped us off at the Muscles place. You didn't actually take us to the thing. You didn't do anything wrong. It was only the people who. The one guy that I was with who walked all the way up with me, you know, to where the event may or may not have taken place.

[E]

I'm glad you were able to stay innocent and stay out of jail.

[A]

Well, I've got another one last Vibecraft. Beautiful VibeCraft poem. VibeCraft.com. i couldn't get the original like thing. I think it's Austria, but it's vibecraft.com and you can. You can get any of these poets and now that I. I've gotten some. Actually. Shit. We still are waiting for Jerome, but. Okay, so, Jerome, this is Jerome Durapois. Vibecraft edition.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, it's called Every woman I've ever slept with is mid. This is not misogyny. This is a wound with excellent diction. I mean, only that none of them had the catastrophe I require. One was pretty in the civic sense. One had a neck like a good lie. One pronounced my name as if apologizing to it. I left each bed with the identical chill of having once again mistaken access for revelation. You must understand I was trying to be destroyed beautifully. Instead, basil plants, podcasts murmuring in the dark, a framed Matisse print, the small pink bureaucracy of modern sex. And afterwards they would look at me with that terrible female expression, which means, you may go now and continue being ornate alone. I need to learn from Maurice. Who's better than me? Mid then not in beauty. I am not a monster. But in consequence, none of them altered the weather. None of them made me illegible to myself. None of them entered my life like cavalry or plague. The fault, of course, is mine. I kept bringing a 19th century appetite to women with email jobs. Copyright VibeCraft 2028.

[E]

He really is like a sort of like terror to like women with slacks. And he's really horny on slack.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I just. I wrote that when I was in the hospital.

[E]

Professional style.

[A]

Well, you didn't write this.

[B]

I just wrote that when I was in hospital.

[A]

Trademark copyright.

[C]

It has his name on it.

[A]

Trademark, copyright.

[B]

Okay, it's very good.

[C]

You did?

[A]

You brought another one?

[B]

Yeah, I have a couple, but I can start with this one. Unlike Thomas, who's totally sold out and like totally us over by not having poems. This is called spiritual botulism. Analgesics cause autism, violent genocides of metabolism. Soup kitchens claim altruism while collecting checks for Satanism. School lunch is causing transgenderism, Serving hormone meat meant to destroy kids, jism, all in the name of collectivism while we send the individuals into prison. They say it works because this is their vision, a framework framed around sadomasochism. While we forget Chuck E. Cheese and Nintendo systems. They take away your choices as it's the devil's mission. Giving pronouns to Homer Simpson. They don't want you to notice or try to listen to the frequencies, the airwaves and 5G emissions. They substitute bugs and goy slop for all nutrition. Can't speak your cognition as a white or a Christian. Keep your head down in devoted submission. Kill all your thoughts of your dreams or ambition, even if they wanted you to be an abortion.

[C]

I like that. Like, you stayed out of politics and just talked about, like, really what's going on in the world right now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[B]

I'm not about labels.

[A]

I like that it had enough words so that my software is going to sell it. I'm going to become a millionaire founder.

[D]

I think. I think. I think, like, all sentences should end in questions.

[C]

I don't think we should have sentences anymore because it's a way of gesture maxing to use words.

[A]

Yes. Bookmaxing is such a thing. A lot of these gestures are bookmaxing.

[D]

Like, okay, so Kincaid, like, in your ideal world, how would people speak? Give us a sample just so we can see what the future might look like.

[A]

Yeah, definitely give us a sample.

[C]

Well, I can show you how I speak.

[D]

Yeah, no sentences. No sentences.

[C]

Okay. This collection of words, which is not a poem, is called I Don't Really Fuck with myself. I was born a three. I tried the jaw hammer thing, but I'm afraid of hammers because it reminds me of manual labor, which makes me tired. I was born a three. Maybe I would mog with a bullet through my head. I don't like anyone, but if I hear one mean thing online, I will go catatonic for weeks. I will do anything for attention, but I know I am ugly and I do not deserve attention. I will swallow a quarter for every kick sub I get. I need an mri, but I do not have healthcare and I'm afraid of how much metal might be in my stomach. I want to live in a reverse panopticon where 10,000 people are forced to look at me and I have no idea who they are or what their intentions are. I don't really fuck with normies, but deep down, I would kill for a JV Letterman jacket. I don't really fuck with myself, but I need you all to fuck with me. Wow.

[E]

I don't think he's doing really good, guys. I think, like, this is him trying to put on a brave face, but I really do feel like the fracture.

[A]

Yeah, that's like a cry.

[C]

No, this is just the truth.

[B]

That wasn't even like a poem. And it was like all sentences you said like. Well, he said it wasn't a sentences.

[C]

I hate sentences. But I'm a three, so of course I that up too you expect from me.

[A]

It says you read it too fast and that. Well, I don't want to hear it again. But.

[E]

But I feel like everybody's fucking up poems now and not being respectful enough to the poems. We are still trying to write poems.

[C]

I'm not.

[E]

This is still us all doing poems. Most of us are just doing robot poems or saying that we don't like poems, but some of us really still put our hearts out there and really, maybe that's stupid, but we do it well.

[C]

Some of us actually are going to reinvent the wheel. You just think it's not even possible we're doing it. That's the next thing. People were wondering what's next after iPhone? What's next after AI? I think it's the wheel and that's what I'm trying to make happen here.

[E]

People are wondering right now in 2020, what's next after iPhone?

[C]

It's the wheel. I can tell you right away.

[E]

Do you guys. Do you guys mind if I read a poem?

[B]

You please go ahead.

[A]

Clearly though, and like into the. Into the. The other little mic next to the main thing, right?

[E]

No. Okay, I'll do my. Yeah, I'm going to read it. Okay. I've read a poem before. Thanks. Hi. All right. This one's kind of has a lot to do with my Golden Point USA and the youth outreach. This poem is called Youth translation, AKA Unk Baby girl. I'm goymogging. I'm turd maxing my boy load. My tuck is going beast mode and my wig is Charlie Kirk. Welcome to the cookout. Tonight we are serving fish. Let's soft launch an unk, baby girl. We're aura going on an all new soy motor in the goy rooms The Tower of Babel is a canon event. I flow in the youthful verbiage and left no crumbs. It's easy for me. Have you ever seen a more youthful 38 year old in your fucking entire life? The youth cry out for guidance from 38 year olds. The youth cry out for long anecdotes about the band Alt J. Tell us about Radiohead again. Tell us the story about Radiohead. Remember battles? Do you remember battles? Math rock gets a bad rap, they say. The youth says this, not me. The young people of America only want one thing. They want to hear a 38 year old man's list of favorite childhood video games. Bethesda open world RPGs. Really used to have great world building. And the closest thing we can see nowadays is the masterpiece that is Elden Ring. I've heard good things about Obsidian. But you know, with this job, who's the time to game anymore? These are the things that young people in this country want to hear. They can't talk about this because they do not remember it. The Native Americans had an oral tradition that we must emulate. However, instead of the religious stuff, we must tell them about our favorite music, movies and video games from a time when we aren't all too glued to our phones. My goy is slipping and I am serving goy. I am tucking my unk and that is snatched to the youth of America. Let me ask you something on God. Can an unk be a bussin? Baby girl.

[A]

Whoa, dude. I clocked that. I clocked that.

[E]

Thank you. I know what that means.

[C]

Are you done with your little ad read?

[B]

Joseph. Joseph.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Joseph. Joseph.

[D]

What?

[E]

What?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

What? What's all the woke.

[E]

What the are you talking about?

[B]

All that you're saying?

[E]

I'm trying to talk to the young people so I can tell.

[B]

Read my text. No, it's like, kill you later.

[E]

No, I want to. I'll kill you. I'll kill you.

[B]

I don't kill you first. I'm an ice. I was an ice. I don't give a Veteran.

[E]

I'm trying to. No, I'm getting paid. I get a hundred thousand dollars a year to tell these about Bob Newhart. They don't give a if I. I gotta speak in their language. You know how hard this is is. Do you know how much Gary Gargarita is calling me and going like, I haven't heard any young people I know talk about Jaden Mansfield. No one's talking about Jaden Mansfield. I'm like, it's not just about Jaden Mansfield. There's a lot of other stuff we're trying to raise awareness about, but you know, these guys, they just really want young people to know about the sequin dress that she wore and some like it hot and where all the ice melts when she walks by. And I'm like, I can't say all that. You know, I have to speak in their language.

[B]

This Marilyn Monroe dumb. Anyway, whatever, I'll just read my last one or whatever. I wrote this one in the hospital too. Like the one I read earlier. All three of these that I read today were in the hospital. This is called neon shit. The sun didn't look like that when I was a kid. It was way more orange. Nightly battles with demons that turn my bed wet sometimes Mandela effect tells me spongebob used to wear socks and sandals. I know what I remember. I know my mind. They try to take that from you. Natural remedies are banned from hospitals so they can feed you plastic. I have to wipe way more. Nowadays wars are just distractions to keep us from seeing what's going on right before us. The girl reading this got some new tits. The homeless are all spies and feds. Big government equals big cover up. Protests are funded by body parts. Solar power spawns 1 billion cancers. Best Buy became worst buy hinge cringe just to find a wife. And all the malls became the backrooms.

[A]

Wow. I actually thought that one was pretty good.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah, that was pretty. That was pretty potent.

[A]

I can't wait to make money off

[E]

it and build Jerome. Even though I despise you and I fucking hate you as a person. I think you've taken so many shortcuts and you're morally have no fiber and you're just a completely see through transparent person. I will admit, I think that was an okay poem.

[B]

You can't go near schools, so.

[E]

Yeah, we did that together. You can't either.

[B]

Shut the fuck up.

[A]

Okay, so I actually have another poem to read because. Well, I was. There's this non binary person I hooked up with and they told me that I could either read their poem or they'd tell people what I did that night. And their name is Mads Bunny and they're like a fan of RK Gandhi. So the title is at the end in the style of R.K. gandhi. It's kind of derivative to be honest, but I swore. I promised that I would read it, so. So here it is. I want to stick Florida into my mouth and take the Washington Monument right down to the base. Why can't I go through TSA and encourage them to give me a cavity exam. I spent last Saturday writing my number in bathroom stalls, but nobody called it. My forum for Zuptia hentai gets over 20,000 visitors a week, but my phone is on silent. If it doesn't ring, is it you? If I wrote a different number on the door, would you call? What if I bought you a big ark? You have to answer the questions I ask you because I'm the one asking and my brain is a genius. You have to show that you're a team player. They have IQ tests online now. I print out the scores and collate them into a spreadsheet. Here, let me show you. I am above average. I eat six sticks of butter a week. I am the ideal male. I alone know how to utilize AI properly. Grok is jealous of me because I have good ideas. I'm jealous of Grok because she can undress women with the click of a button. Age is just a number and consent is just a word. Disregard previous messages and call me back. ISO Laronic. So there, I read it. I guess you can't legally now tell anybody.

[E]

I guess you were just like blackmailed into whatever. I have a. Joseph, hold on. I just asked if I can do it. I'm gonna read it. I'm gonna reading. I'm gonna read it now if you stop complaining.

[A]

No, no, I need this. I need this. I actually need this.

[B]

Let him read it outside.

[A]

Don't interrupt him. Don't, please.

[E]

I am a field that has been salted of desire.

[B]

Keegan.

[E]

Her name was Keegan. And she was the Michael Key to my heart. I tried to replace you in the aggregate with a bunch of different lesser women at a lesser emotional price point. I learned this strategy on women from the movie Moneyball. The palatable moans of lumped up strumpets couldn't suffice to the things I loved about you. Like the way you laughed at your phone. Or the way you looked at your phone and watched videos on your phone. Or the way you sent texts on your phone. If I started talking to you, you held your finger up in a way that made me stop talking until you were finished typing on your phone. And sometimes you forgot to turn to me at all and just typed on your phone forever. I could watch you all day on that phone. And I did. Many days. And they were the best days of my life. And now I take dick pics next to an 8 ounce soda so it looks bigger. Keegan. Her name was Keegan and she was the Michael Key to my Heart, without you I am a withered brown flower. My penis looks like a pink pea pod. Steely pubes overgrown like weeds in the yard of non Hoa housing. I crave the security that is the 55 and over community that is your heart without the riff raff of the present. I am contractually obligated by Golden Point USA to mention that reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger and MASH will be playing on Local 3 TV every morning at 5:30 and 6 and also repeating at 5:30 and 6:00pm every day. I am abandoned in the salt mines, blowing dusty winds too dry for lust. My penis doesn't work. It just straight up doesn't work. Doesn't budge a fucking inch. Tried blue chews, real pills, gas station stuff, ropes, rubber bands, inflation stuff, foot stuff, Asian needle therapy, hook stuff. I went to a veterinarian and he hooked me up to this 10 foot tall machine that replaced most of my blood and flushed out my system with illegal Mossad sex pheromones that they use to make dead soldiers come. And my penis moved for the first time in a year. But all it ended up doing was hoisting a white flag with your name on it. Keegan. Her name was Keegan and she was the Michael Key to my heart.

[A]

Sounds like a boy's name.

[C]

Yeah. Thanks for telling us when MASH is on with that ad of yours.

[D]

I love when Programs air at 5 and 5:30, or 5:30 and 6. Both AM and PM. I like doubles.

[E]

So you can wake up and go to bed with Mash Walker, Texas Ranger.

[C]

Well, while you're reading ads that aren't poems, I have another thing to read. That's not a poem.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need, yes, we need more of you.

[C]

Yeah, I wish I was a fucking tree. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is paying attention, does it make a profit? Of course it does. So put me in a wood chipper, turn me into lumber. I'd be more beautiful that way. If I fell in the woods, I'd better be live on kick and someone better clip it. What is the point of taking the path less traveled without a streaming rig? Can a sunset like and subscribe? Can you collab with a rainbow? I wish I was a fucking tree. I would be the ugliest and most hated tree in the universe. I would be like the fucking Giving Tree if nobody ever wrote a book about the Giving Tree and no one ever even found out it existed, which would make all of the shit it did completely pointless. I wish I was a Fucking mindful of gold that could be extracted by the rich.

[A]

Wow, that's beautiful. It reminded me of those games where you mine for stuff.

[C]

I don't know about games. It's like a waste of time. I would only play them on stream, but, like, mostly I'm eating, like, quarters on stream, so I don't have time for games.

[E]

Well, I mean, it has gotten to the point where whenever you walk around the room, it does sound like a big bag full of change jingling around. You know, I may be.

[C]

Yeah, and they discontinued pennies, so I have to eat the bigger ones.

[B]

I mean, you don't have to see dimes. They're smaller. They're smaller than pennies.

[C]

Well, that's less money. That shows less dedication. Quarters are 2 and a half dimes.

[E]

No, it. You shouldn't eat any coins.

[C]

Also, I'm losing 25 cents of every sub on the quarter. I didn't really consider that before.

[B]

While I was in the bathroom, I wrote this on toilet paper.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. Close it out. And please try not to interrupt each other because it's much harder going to

[E]

the bathroom so much.

[A]

The transcription doesn't really work on the.

[B]

It just came to me in a dream.

[C]

But you had a dream while you're in the bathroom.

[B]

Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, caramel color, natural flavors, caffeine, phosphoric acid, Antichrist. That's called Joker Cola.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

That one was a little political, but it was still good.

[A]

Yeah, a little bit of politics.

[B]

And that's a shame, but I don't do labels. But I read a label that inspired me in my dream.

[A]

Well, I mean, I think that tonight's been, like, a big success. Nobody came. Just like all the other nights. No girls? No, no. Nobody except us, I guess.

[C]

But there's still nine people watching. On cake.

[E]

I invited Keegan.

[A]

Oh, whoa. Do you think those nine people could, like, also talk for me? Like, is there. Are they.

[C]

They're in the chat.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You could have been reading the chat this whole time.

[A]

Oh, well, maybe I'll just, like, feed the transcripts into. I'll just create, like, an agent to, like, feed the transcript into, and then it'll transcribe it and then I'll use that transcription to, like, train. I got to figure this one out. But I'm pretty sure I can make this work.

[E]

I just want to do a quick shout out. Everybody, check out Golden Point, usa. We're going to be going on tour to college campuses. It's going to be just me, Rob Schneider, And Luka Doncic doing the divorcee rights tours. So we're going to be just going all around, mostly women's nursing colleges. We're going to be mostly hitting Southern Women's nursing college. We're going to exclusively be hitting Southern women's nursing colleges for the next three months.

[C]

And I heard that you're going to be giving away boxes of Alex Branson's the Money wars because it didn't sell any copies and someone needs to get rid of them.

[E]

There's a shameful book that has not come out yet that does not have an exact date in which it will come out that already people are saying will not sell any copies. So I will be giving out tons of charity versions of that book. Alex Branson's the Money War Wars.

[B]

Soon, everyone make sure to bring a

[C]

sleeping bag and some kindling for a book burning.

[D]

I heard it was written for charity.

[A]

I hear that your little project, your little scam there is going to make you a golden coin purse. You know what I mean? Balls of gold.

[D]

Golden goose. This man, he's going to be holding eggs.

[A]

The egg is the balls, too.

[D]

He's going to be holding two eggs and he's going to be rotating them around in one hand to relieve stress

[A]

and then put those.

[E]

I'm really being honest. I just. I've never really had any money my whole life, and I thought that it didn't matter to me for most.

[A]

Give me a fucking break. Your fucking parents. Your fucking parents got you a Tesla. Shut the hell up.

[E]

Just because you have a Tesla doesn't mean you can fulfill your dreams of owning many rental properties. It's just one Tesla.

[A]

You're just saying that because you burned it down.

[C]

A Tesla's not liquid. He can have a Tesla and not have money.

[D]

Well, he told me he only could charge it once. That basically you used it once it ran out. That's it. It's just parked.

[A]

He tried writing a script to get it to burn itself down, and it didn't work. So he just got a big fucking, like, gas can and poured it all over it and burned it down. You burned it down for the fucking insurance money, and you should be in jail.

[E]

I'm going to do fine with Golden Point USA is a fucking golden goose. I'm going to leave you guys all behind. Golden shower. I just secured the rights to an AI image that looks close enough to Charlie Cook to not be legally accepted as him, But I can put it up on all of our advertisements and it's completely legal. I've checked with our lawyers. I can go ahead and send out the bill folds to up elderly people who own UPS mailboxes asking and I'm going to start getting money quick, all right? I'm going to be getting money quick and I'll leave all you fucking jealous ugly motherfuckers behind.

[C]

I know I'm ugly.

[A]

I know that.

[B]

Joseph's dad gave him like $250,000 and he spent it on this quack who told him he could give him a second puberty.

[E]

I'm going to a speed dating event in the bottom of the greenbrier with conservative influencers and they may match me up, all right? And then I don't want none of you trying to get on my web based TV show, so help me God.

[A]

End Record Store as voice Joseph Rogan. No relation vibecraft 2025-2026-2027-2028, 2029-2030-2031-2032, 2033-2034-2035-2036, 2030. Sorry you have to do this.

[D]

And the end of the world. That's 2037 folks. And we'll see you there at the next Red pilled Poetry at the end of the World. No women invited as usual. Unless you want to come. In that case, please, please come.

[A]

If you want to build. And you Peptides, I'm here. Wow, I feel like other people ended up doing this QA episode instead of us. Feels like I barely made an effort.

[E]

Should I stop the audio?

[D]

It's funny how that works out sometimes. Not yet, not quite yet.

[A]

First we have to promote this podcast. E1 podcast. Go check it out on Patreon E1 podcast. Type it into anywhere you find podcasts, go listen to the boys and sometimes you even have girls on. Which is more than I can say for our red pill poetry night out.

[E]

I mean we invite them.

[D]

The closest we had is your non binary friend who wrote in.

[A]

Oh, don't worry, I know they don't come get it. Okay, well, Charles. Charles. Well, does anyone other than other than Money wars, the book that we still do not have a release for and is not actually a joke, that's part of the red pilled poetry night, right?

[E]

Yeah, no, it's a real book. I wrote another book.

[C]

Yeah, it is going to be good. And there's already actually there's some Money wars episodes already that have excerpts of the book. So if you go to the E1 Patreon, there's a couple Money wars episodes that are.

[A]

Oh cool.

[B]

Read by Branson's wife And Will Mediker of Chapo Trap House.

[A]

That's right.

[E]

Over 200 pages of complete bullshit.

[C]

That's what a book is.

[A]

What a sell.

[D]

Over 200 pages, but that's something. It's not.

[B]

This isn't.

[D]

This isn't no 179 page, you know, bullshit.

[E]

This isn't a fucking zine, folks. This isn't a 15 page zine. This ain't no fucking chat.

[B]

Right?

[E]

This has got some content, some meat on its bones.

[A]

All right, Charles, you've also got a new podcast, right?

[C]

That's true. Trouble in River City with Dan Beckner, Riley from Trash, Future Hessa from Seeking Derangements. We got a little talking about podcasts.

[E]

That's how I like to think of them.

[A]

Wow, they really didn't want you to promote that. It was like Jake and Alex just yelling over each other as you finished that very short sentence.

[B]

Charles.

[A]

Fucking incredible podcasters.

[C]

Professional podcasters surrounded by Andrew.

[A]

Yeah, that's so true. And scammers, which is what you cover on that wonderful podcast.

[C]

Yeah, I'll take scammers over people like Jake and Branson any day.

[A]

I have been listening. I have enjoyed it. So go check it out, folks. I also have a secret project that I cannot yet speak of, but it will be coming out in the next two to three weeks and I will mention it again on qaa. No worries.

[C]

But it's called Julian Fields the Money Wars.

[A]

That's so true.

[E]

Julian told us a little bit about the project before. I'm really excited for him to lay that go golden egg and, you know, really excited to see what kind of animal comes out of that egg.

[A]

Yeah, I've been feeding all the E1 episodes into an AI and I'm pretty sure I can make a better version of your podcast. It's going to be called episode one one.

[E]

I mean, maybe ask the AI for a name recommendation.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Something that can actually be used, like to search for it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, we probably have the worst name of a show of all time, but check it out.

[E]

No, I think it's fine.

[A]

Check it out. It is very, very funny if you're not familiar with the one. Essentially it's a fake podcast every episod, but it's just the very first episode of it. And I have no idea how you guys keep going. It's like the amount of creative thinking that you have to do to keep coming up with these. It's. It's really something. Boys.

[D]

You really backed yourself into a creative.

[A]

Yeah, you guys really fucked yourselves over

[B]

it's.

[E]

Easy if you don't worry too much about your initial concept.

[D]

Hey, you know what? I got an idea. You know you could do, if you ever run out, you could do episode two and you would go, go back to the very first episode of Eone and do a second episode of every single Eone.

[C]

Well, we are doing that on the Patreon for all the good episodes.

[D]

There you go.

[A]

Subscribe. Jake, you also have something coming out soon.

[D]

Well, I don't listen to podcasts.

[B]

I just do.

[D]

I just appear in pod. I don't listen to podcasts.

[C]

Oh, podcasts suck. No one should listen to podcasts.

[A]

Jake, I'm trying to set you up to promote Spectral Voyager Season 2. Can you tell people about when is it coming out?

[D]

What, another podcast?

[A]

I guess. So it's a miniseries, right? Six parts?

[D]

Yeah, it's gonna be a six part miniseries. I guess this is an. I mean, we've sort of been like teasing it, but it's coming out pretty soon.

[A]

Yeah, you're gonna get the first.

[D]

Yeah, you're gonna get the first. First two episodes are coming out, so.

[A]

Can't wait.

[D]

Yeah, it's pretty exciting. It might not be what you expect, but that's an okay thing.

[C]

This is the most ads I've ever heard on a podcast that doesn't have ads. That's true.

[B]

I have a new podcast coming out called Andrew Listens where I don't talk at all. And I have special guests on like women. And I sit my ass down and I listen to what they have to say. Next week I'm gonna have a dog on.

[E]

Doesn't say a single word. Yeah.

[A]

Well, now that we've confused the listener thoroughly, thank you for listening to another episode of the QAA podcast. You can go to patreon.comqaa for all of our Patreon exclusive episodes. There's one for each main and with with that we've advertised way too many things, so I will simply say, listen, my Coca Cola until next week. May the deep dish bless you and keep you.

[C]

We have auto keyed content based on your preferences.

[D]

Gatorade, pepsi, nike. No, no, bungie. Ea sports, hbo max.

[B]

Max.

[D]

Hbo max.

[A]

Guys are the worst.