Podcast Summary: Question Everything

Episode Title: Betraying a Friendship to Get a Viral Story
Host: Brian Reed
Date: October 9, 2025

Episode Overview

In this powerful episode, Question Everything features a cross-podcast collaboration with Death, Sex & Money, hosted by Anna Sale. The focus is on journalist A.J. Delario and his former source, Jen Sturger, whose life was upended after Delario published a viral story about NFL quarterback Brett Favre’s sexual harassment of her—against her wishes and naming her publicly.

The two sit down, years later, to explore themes of betrayal, accountability, ethical ambiguity in journalism, and the search for personal closure. The episode is a rare and candid conversation between a journalist and a source who was burned by his pursuit of a story.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Backstory and Betrayal (02:46 – 22:21)

• Jen’s Early Fame: Jen Sturger rose to public attention after being featured in a football game broadcast (07:49), leading to opportunities with Maxim, Playboy, and Deadspin.
• The Original Breach: Sturger confided in Delario, then editor at Deadspin, about Brett Favre’s unwanted, explicit messages and voicemails (12:03). She asked him not to publish anything using her name or as a story at all.
• Delario’s Decision: Despite her wishes, Delario pursued the story. He paid another source $10,000 for the voicemails and photos and published them along with Jen’s name and image, making her a target in sports media and online spaces (22:37).

“If I've learned anything, it's that once your story gets told by someone else, it's no longer your story.”
— Jen Sturger (05:27)

2. Journalism Ethics, Sensationalism, and the Cost of Viral Stories (09:06 – 26:17)

• Delario’s Approach: He reflects on not seeing himself as a journalist, but as a “provocateur” who thrived on public spectacle, attention, and controversy (09:06–10:10).
• The Viral Incentive: Delario describes the competitive, ethically loose atmosphere at Gawker and Deadspin, including paying for stories and prioritizing traffic and spectacle over traditional reporting standards (22:49).
• Consequences for Jen: After publication, Sturger lost her job, went through a personal transformation, and became defined by the scandal in media and public perception (18:47–18:58; 46:40–47:42).

“I think the Internet told me who I was before I had a chance to figure that out for myself. And they got it wrong.”
— Jen Sturger (28:50)

3. Male Power, Victim Blaming, and Silence in Sports Media (13:03 – 18:18)

• Power Differential: Sturger contrasts her vulnerability as a 25-year-old contractor with Favre’s legendary, insulated status (13:03).
• Industry Complicity: Delario recounts how other journalists were unwilling to pursue the story for fear of alienating Favre or risking their own careers (17:31).

“People knew this about Brett Favre, but...if they lose access to Brett Favre... that could cost them their job.”
— A.J. Delario (17:31)

4. The Aftermath and Unexpected Reunion (29:20 – 41:19)

• Years of No Contact: For eight years, Jen and AJ had no contact. Then, a rescue dog connected their lives by chance—Jen was the volunteer slated to bring a puppy to AJ’s family (29:20–36:39).
• Meeting in Person: Their first real-life meeting, while emotionally loaded, was shaped by the presence of the dog in need and the changed contexts of both their lives (40:06–41:00).

“I honestly think it’s because I wanted him to just see that I was a real person.”
— Jen Sturger (38:52)

5. Moving Forward, Accountability, and Forgiveness (41:19 – 48:52)

• Making Amends: Delario, now sober and changed through AA, puts Sturger on his amends list, though outreach is complicated by questions of who benefits from the apology (33:12–34:20).
• Mutual Understanding: Both realize they are forever defined by the lowest moments of viral infamy—Sturger as "the Brett Favre girl," Delario as the "Gawker Dick pic guy"—and find comfort in their shared experiences (47:22–47:42).

“The person that was technically the victim in this situation [is] the only person that's taking accountability for their part.”
— Jen Sturger (55:13)

• On Forgiveness: Sturger grants Delario forgiveness because he is the only one who has ever personally apologized and admitted to the harm caused (47:42–48:52).

“AJ is the only person in this entire story that has ever come to me and looked me in the eye and told me he was sorry.”
— Jen Sturger (47:50)

6. Redefining Identity and Reclaiming the Narrative (44:08 – End)

• Dehumanization by Media: Both discuss the pain of being reduced to plot points in other people’s stories—Sturger by sports media, Delario by the Esquire profile after the Hogan trial (44:08–46:28).
• Support and Ongoing Connection: They now regularly check in, especially when their scandals are back in the news, and offer mutual support through their shared “language of public shame” (49:36–51:51).

“I think we can connect on this, and I think that this could be a good thing.”
— A.J. Delario (44:23)

• Closure and Growth: Sturger channels her experience into supporting other women, teaching standup and narrative control; Delario runs The Small Bow, a recovery community for people moving beyond their worst moments (56:16).

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On losing ownership of your own story:
  “Once your story gets told by someone else, it's no longer your story.”
  — Jen Sturger (05:27)
• On being defined by an online moment:
  “The Internet told me who I was before I had a chance to figure that out for myself. And they got it wrong.”
  — Jen Sturger (28:50)
• On viral fame and pain:
  “I always just, when I would talk about it to people back in the day, I would describe the way I presented in public as kind of like my wrestling gimmick... Suddenly with this story, those lines became very blurred, even for myself.”
  — Jen Sturger (28:54)
• On seeking forgiveness:
  “AJ is the only person in this entire story that has ever come to me and looked me in the eye and told me he was sorry.”
  — Jen Sturger (47:50)
• On identity and media narrative:
  “I've lost control of who I am... the rest of the world is like, you are this person, and this is how you're going to be treated henceforth.”
  — AJ Delario (46:11)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Background and setup of the original Favre story: 02:46 – 22:21
• Jen’s career trajectory and discovery: 07:49 – 08:34
• Delario’s journalistic philosophy: 09:06 – 10:21
• Power dynamics and media complicity: 13:03 – 18:18
• Viral publication and aftermath: 21:10 – 26:17
• Unexpected dog adoption reunion: 29:20 – 41:00
• Making amends and ongoing relationship: 41:19 – 51:51
• Conversation on identity and moving forward: 44:08 – end

Tone

The conversation is candid, vulnerable, and deeply reflective. Both Sturger and Delario display a mix of regret, self-realization, and resilience. Anna Sale guides the dialogue with empathy and a focus on nuance, not easy redemption.

Conclusion

This episode stands out for its raw exploration of journalistic ethics, the personal cost of viral stories, gender dynamics, and the long road from betrayal to empathy and mutual understanding. Listeners gain rare insight into how public infamy entangles and transforms those at its center—and the possibility of connection and healing, however unexpected, in its aftermath.