Transcript
Radio Announcer (0:00)
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Radiolab Producer (0:26)
Hmm, that's music to my ears.
Radio Announcer (0:28)
I can only talk.
Fidelity Disclaimer Voice (0:31)
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Jad Abumrad (0:45)
Oh, wait, you're listening. Okay. All right. Okay. All right.
Radio Announcer (0:52)
You're listening to Radiolab.
Radiolab Producer (0:55)
Radiolab, Sharks from WNYC.
Radio Announcer (1:01)
And npr.
Jad Abumrad (1:04)
Hey, I'm Jad Abumrad.
Robert Krulwich (1:06)
And I'm Robert Krulwich.
Jad Abumrad (1:07)
This is Radiolab, the podcast. We're up to number 15 now. As you can tell, the last few days we've been extending our afterlife show.
Robert Krulwich (1:14)
Just the apres or the after afterlife. Exactly.
Jad Abumrad (1:18)
And for number 15, we have a reading from David Eagleman's book Some, A story called Some, which is in fact the story that got us interested in doing the entire afterlife show to begin with.
Robert Krulwich (1:28)
Yeah, because it is so. It's so summery, actually, in the S u m m a r y sense.
Jad Abumrad (1:34)
Right? And it's read for us again by actor Jeffrey Tambor.
Radiolab Producer (1:38)
Alright, Ty, take two. In the afterlife, you relive all your experiences. But this time, with the events reshuffled into a new order, you see all the moments that share equality are grouped together. For instance, you spend two months driving the street in front of your house. Seven months having sex. You sleep for 30 years without opening your eyes. For five months straight, you flip through magazines while sitting on a toilet. You take all your pain at once. All 27 intense hours of it. Bones break, cars crash, skin is cut, babies are born. But once you make it through, it's agony free for the rest of your afterlife. That doesn't always mean it's pleasant. I mean, you spend six days clipping your nails. 15 months looking for lost items. 18 months waiting in line. Two years of boredom staring out a bus window, sitting in an airport terminal, waiting online. One year reading books. Your eyes hurt, though. And you itch because you can't take a shower until it your Time to take your marathon 200 day shower. 2 weeks wondering what happens when you die. 1 minute realizing your body's falling. 77 hours of confusion. 1 hour realizing you've forgotten someone's name. 3 weeks realizing you're wrong. 2 days lying. 6 weeks waiting for a green light. 7 hours vomiting. 14 minutes experiencing pure joy. 3 months doing laundry. 15 hours writing your signature. 2 days tying cheap shoelaces. 67 days of heartbreak. 5 weeks driving loss. 3 days calculating restaurant tips. 51 days deciding what to wear. 9 days pretending you know what is being talked about. 2 weeks counting money. 18 hours staring into the refrigerator. 34 days longing. 6 months watching commercials. 4 weeks sitting in thought, wondering if there's something better I could be doing with my time. Three years swallowing food. Five days working buttons and zippers. Four minutes wondering what your life would be like if you reshuffled the order of events. In this part of the afterlife. You imagine something analogous to your earthly life. And the thought is blissful. A life where episodes are split into tiny swallowable pieces. Moments do not endure where one experiences the joy of jumping from one event to the next, like a child hopping from spot to spot on the burning sand.
