Radiolab – "Oliver Sacks: A Journey From Where to Where"

Date: October 27, 2017
Hosts: Jad Abumrad, Robert Krulwich
Guest: Bill Hayes, partner of Oliver Sacks

Episode Overview

In this deeply moving episode, Radiolab explores the final months of legendary neurologist and writer Oliver Sacks through intimate audio recordings made by his partner, Bill Hayes. Blending candid moments, reflections on mortality, writing, and identity, the episode paints an unprecedented portrait of Sacks as he confronts terminal cancer. Listeners are offered rare access to Sacks’ creative process, philosophical ruminations, and the evolving intimacy between two people in the face of impending loss.

Key Discussion Points

1. The Genesis of the Recordings (01:23–05:04)

• Introduction to Bill Hayes:
  • Bill Hayes, Oliver Sacks’ partner, explains how and why they began recording conversations shortly after Sacks' diagnosis.
  • “[...] I said, well, what are you thinking about writing? This is about four days after he got his diagnosis. And he paused, and then he looked at me and he said something like a month ago, I felt that I was in good health, even robust health. At 81, I still swim a mile a day, but my luck has run out.” – Bill Hayes (03:14)
• Purpose:
  • To document Oliver’s thoughts for future writing, reminiscences, and possibly for Hayes' own process of grieving and memoir writing.
  • Hayes left the recorder untouched for 18 months after Sacks’ death, fearing the sadness it would bring, before revisiting the tapes.

2. Dreams, Journeys, and Facing Mortality (05:04–06:33)

• Oliver’s Dream Motifs:
  • Sacks describes recurring archetypal dreams about journeys, transitions, and approaching an “end.”
  • “Dreams. I’ve been having a lot of strangely archetypal dreams of a journey I have to make. Getting lost and getting found, full of surprises... It’s a journey from where to Where?” – Oliver Sacks (05:10)

3. Writing as Living, Thinking as Writing (06:33–10:00)

• Sacks’ Process and Rituals:
  • Despite being nearly deaf, Sacks would whisper words to himself and write with a fountain pen – writing as both thinking and living.
  • His love for words never waned; he remained curious, often seeking the etymology and subtle meanings even in old age.
  • “Can you see if there’s a word recipicence? ... To be wise.” – Oliver Sacks (09:09)
  • “One more look at the big dictionary and see if you can find any examples in particular?” – Oliver Sacks (09:33)

4. The Physical and Emotional Rollercoaster of Illness (11:21–14:40)

• Describing Illness:
  • Sacks provides a vivid, almost poetic account of illness’ interior landscape, homeostasis, and disruptions of the body.
  • Notable quote:

    “And if one could take a scan or inner photograph of the body at such times, one would see vascular beds opening and closing... as if the nervous system itself were in a state of indecision. Instability, fluctuation and oscillation are of the essence.” – (13:04)

  • He reflects on moments of sudden improvement and creative euphoria, relating it to Nietzsche’s convalescence.

    “The gratitude of a convalescent for convalescence was unexpected. The rejoicing of strength that is returning, of a reawakened faith in a tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, of a sudden sense and anticipation of a future, of impending adventures, of seas that are open again.” – (13:56)

5. Intense Focus, Reflection, and Anticipating the End (15:06–17:00)

• A Creative Surge:
  • Sacks, aware of limited time, displays remarkable focus, writing multiple essays and tackling new topics with characteristic curiosity.
  • Debates titles and significance with Hayes:
    • “I don’t know what to call this piece; they can title it 9th Avenue and the Glorious Forest.” – Oliver Sacks (15:20)
    • “I like the Future I Shall Never Know.” – Bill Hayes (15:36)
    • “Yes, I. Oh, that’s excellent. Yeah, that’s it.” – Oliver Sacks (15:38)

6. Reminiscence, Regret, and Environmental Lament (16:43–18:28)

• Environmental Concerns:
  • Sacks reflects on technological change and the loss of natural wonders, such as the Amazon and Madagascar’s forests.
  • “Ninth Avenue Reverie, published March 20, 2015... I had planned, before I became ill, to go to Madagascar to see its forests and its unique fauna and... especially the lemurs. I love lemurs.” – Reader (17:00–18:00)

7. Humor, Mishearing, and the Brain (20:25–23:16)

• Mishearings as Literary Play:
  • Sacks catalogues funny and profound mishearings due to his deafness, reflecting on how the mind’s mechanisms produce meaning from flawed inputs.
  • “Mishearing take the car for spin became take the car for a swim. Johannes became your highness... Big time publisher was heard as a big time cuttlefish.” – Oliver Sacks (20:27)
  • “The sheer mess will make the point that sound trumps everything.” – Oliver Sacks (21:47)
• Robert Krulwich elaborates:
  • “One’s surroundings, one’s wishes and expectations, conscious and unconscious, can certainly be co determinants in mishearing... and yet there is a sort of style or wit, a dash, in these instantaneous inventions.” – Robert Krulwich (21:59)

8. Intimacy, Domestic Scenes, and the Approach of Death (23:33–29:05)

• Moving, Tender Moments:
  • Hayes and Sacks share vulnerability and playful affection:
    • “If you could just kiss me whenever I had a dry mouth, I’d be in heaven.” – Oliver Sacks (23:33)
    • “You want some of this?” – Bill Hayes (27:32)
    • “Sexy? Oh yes. Right. You’re very handsome.” – Bill Hayes and Oliver Sacks (28:21)
• Seeking normalcy:
  • Scenes of everyday domesticity, even as mortality looms

9. Family, Religion, and Coming Out (30:26–38:02)

• Autobiographical Honesty:
  • Sacks explores his family’s Jewish heritage, the trauma of coming out to his parents, and reconciling with his identity.
  • “She came down with a look of horror on her face and shrieked, you are an abomination. I wish you had never been born... Her brutal, hateful words, her curse, made me hate Judaism, all religions in their capacity for inhuman bigotry and cruelty.” – Oliver Sacks (33:33–35:23)
• Resolution and Acceptance:
  • Later in life, Sacks achieves a degree of peace, highlighted by being openly accepted within his family and by being “out” with Billy.
  • The concept of Sabbath takes on metaphorical significance as Sacks contemplates “the seventh day of one’s life, when one can feel one’s work has done and one may in good conscience. Rest.” – Oliver Sacks (35:23–38:02)

10. The Final Days and Self-Reflections (38:25–40:09)

• Final Acts:
  • Sacks exhausts his energy getting his literary house in order, dictating the table of contents for his final essay collection, The River of Consciousness, and shifting from writing to thinking aloud.
  • “I think that I will require an opportunity amount of care, including intravenous nursing. Things beyond what you and Kate can provide or should. And this in turn should release you, you know, to be just my friends and comforter.” – Oliver Sacks (38:25)
• Last Requests, Quiet Dignity:
  • He asks for food, small comforts, and prepares for hospice care.

11. Legacy (40:09–40:32)

• Jad concludes:
  • “Two weeks later, on August 30, 2015, Oliver Sacks died at home. In the last seven months of his life, he wrote and published nine pieces. And there were many, many more that he started, but wasn’t able to finish.” – Jad Abumrad (40:09)
• The essays are published posthumously in The River of Consciousness.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Facing Death:

  “A month ago, I felt that I was in good health, even robust health. At 81, I still swim a mile a day, but my luck has run out.” – Oliver Sacks (03:14)

• On Recovery:

  “The gratitude of a convalescent for convalescence was unexpected. The rejoicing of strength that is returning, of a reawakened faith in a tomorrow...” – Oliver Sacks (13:56)

• On Language and Hearing:

  “Mishearing take the car for spin became take the car for a swim... The sheer mess will make the point that sound trumps everything.” – Oliver Sacks (20:27, 21:47)

• On Family and Identity:

  “You are an abomination. I wish you had never been born... Her brutal, hateful words, her curse, made me hate Judaism, all religions in their capacity for inhuman bigotry and cruelty.” – Oliver Sacks (33:33)

• On Sabbath and Rest:

  “The Sabbath, the day of rest, the seventh day of the week, and perhaps the seventh day of one’s life, when one can feel one’s work has done and one may in good conscience. Rest.” – Oliver Sacks (35:23)

• Humor & Tenderness:

  “If you could just kiss me whenever I had a dry mouth, I’d be in heaven.” – Oliver Sacks (23:33)
  “Sexy? Oh, yes. Right. You’re very handsome.” – Bill Hayes & Oliver Sacks (28:21)

Important Timestamps

• 01:23–05:04: Origin of the recordings, Oliver’s diagnosis, and Bill Hayes’ role
• 05:04–06:33: First recording: Oliver’s dreams about journeys and death
• 08:58–10:00: Sacks searching for the perfect word—love of dictionaries and language
• 11:21–14:40: Reading aloud about homeostasis, body disorder, and the sudden return of energy
• 20:25–23:16: Extended riff on mishearings, sound, and playfulness with language
• 33:08–35:23: Sacks’ profound reckoning with family trauma, sexuality, and faith
• 35:23–38:02: Personal significance of the Sabbath; coming to peace with a lifetime’s struggles
• 38:25–40:09: Final preparations for death
• 40:09: Announcement of Oliver Sacks’ passing and his literary legacy

Episode Tone & Style

Radiolab maintains its hallmarks of warmth, curiosity, and sensitivity. The episode is intimate, sometimes playful, sometimes haunting. It privileges authentic, unscripted moments—scraps of conversation, interrupted thoughts, and loving asides between Hayes and Sacks. There is humility and humor even in the face of death, and a profound celebration of intellect, curiosity, and love.

Summary

"Oliver Sacks: A Journey From Where to Where" offers a tender and unvarnished portrait of one of the great minds of our time as he reflects on life, death, and everything in-between. Through the recordings and recollections of Bill Hayes, the episode weaves together themes of mortality, creativity, love, and the search for meaning, culminating in a powerful affirmation of human dignity at the threshold of the unknown.