***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@beyondthebuildpod

“Real Estate Take Episode 34: Jay Conner and Raising Private Money”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24HUY09_YWs&t=59s

If you’ve ever considered diving into real estate investing but have felt overwhelmed by the complexities of funding your deals, you’re not alone. For many, the traditional path involves groveling before banks, wrangling with credit checks, and coughing up hefty down payments. But what if you could bypass all of that? In the latest episode of the Raising Private Money podcast with Jay Conner, the Private Money, you’ll discover how a shift in mindset—and strategy—can propel your investing business to new heights.

From Banker’s Mercy to Financial Freedom

Jay Conner’s story begins in eastern North Carolina, far from the bustling metros most associate with high-ticket real estate. After spending his formative years in his family’s mobile home business, Jay transitioned to single-family home investing in 2003. Like many, he started by relying on the banks, navigating mountains of paperwork and agreeing to terms that left him stressed and feeling “owned by the bank.”

Everything changed in 2009. The financial crisis hit, and his credit line evaporated overnight. Suddenly, Jay had deals under contract but no way to finance them. Rather than throw in the towel, Jay asked himself the powerful question: “Who do you know that can help fix your problem?” This turning point sparked his introduction to the world of private money.

The Secret Sauce: Never Ask for Money

You read that right. According to Jay, the secret to unlocking private capital is never asking for money—and never pitching a deal. Instead, it’s all about teaching and serving. Here’s how he breaks it down:

Separate the conversation: Educate potential lenders about the opportunity with private lending, before ever pairing them with a deal. This avoids desperation and builds genuine trust.
Offer, don’t beg: When it’s time to fund a deal, Jay makes what he calls the “good news phone call.” He simply informs the lender that he has a deal matching their criteria and tells them when and where to wire the money—no pleading required.

This methodical, service-driven approach means Jay never comes across as desperate. Instead of hunting for money in a frenzy to lock up deals, he has investors lining up, eagerly waiting to put their funds to work.

The Power of Nurturing Relationships

Jay’s model isn’t based on cold calls to strangers or high-pressure sales at REI clubs. It’s rooted in “the riches are in the niches”—working within his existing sphere of influence, especially in the tight-knit communities of his two-county market in North Carolina. Faith groups, neighbors, and longtime community members have proven to be his best partners. Not only do they see his track record up close, but their word-of-mouth referrals have helped Jay quickly grow his network of private lenders.

At its core, Jay’s system is replicable. He’s raised hundreds of thousands—even millions—of dollars from ordinary people: retired teachers, ex-military, young families, and even minors with inherited funds.

Making Private Lending Simple—and Legal

A major hurdle for many investors is the idea that private lending is complicated or legally risky. Jay demystifies it: private loans for single-family houses are “asset-backed debt,” not syndications, and thus not under SEC scrutiny for one-off deals. Private lenders can use both cash and retirement funds, like self-directed IRAs, which offer powerful tax advantages. Jay encourages investors to partner with reputable self-directed IRA custodians, making the process smooth for lenders.

Why Private Money Wins—For Everyone

Jay’s approach is all about “win-win.” Lenders get above-average returns backed by real estate, complete with security liens and insurance—protection they wouldn’t see in the stock market. Investors avoid the headaches of bank applications, origination fees, and personal guarantees, making every deal faster and more profitable.

Take Action: Learn the System

The episode closes with Jay offering invaluable resources: his best-selling book on private lending strategies, free tickets to his live conference, and access to his long-running “Raising Private Money” podcast.

Whether you’re a new investor or ready to scale, the lesson is clear: You don’t find money when you’re desperate—you build a network of educated, empowered partners before you need it. As Jay’s journey proves, the right process and attitude can turn a local, small-town business into a highly profitable, freedom-creating machine.

Ready to transform your investing business? Start building authentic relationships and teaching others the value of private lending—your “secret sauce” to lasting success.

10 Discussion Questions from this Episode

Jay Conner emphasizes that he never asks for money or pitches deals to his private lenders. What are the advantages and potential downsides of this approach to raising private capital?
How did Jay Conner's experience with losing his bank line of credit during the 2008 financial crisis influence his approach to real estate investing and funding deals?
The concept of "separating the conversation" when speaking to potential private lenders is presented as the secret sauce. How does this differ from traditional fundraising methods, and why might it be more effective?
Several times, Jay Conner discusses the importance of building trust and educating potential lenders about self-directed IRAs and private lending. What strategies does he use to foster trust, and how could new investors replicate this?
What are the specific benefits for lenders to use their self-directed IRA funds to invest in real estate deals rather than keeping their money in more traditional investments?
Desperation has a smell to it, Jay Conner says. How do desperation and urgency from an investor affect the success rate of raising private capital?
Jay Conner suggests that being a big fish in a small pond—focusing on a specific, smaller geographic market—can be more profitable than trying to compete in larger cities. Do you agree or disagree, and why?
The distinction between asset-backed debt and syndication is discussed. Why might an individual investor choose one method over the other, and what are the regulatory implications?
Jay Conner's system is described as repeatable and dependable, leveraging automation and systems to reduce his workload. How important are systems for scaling a real estate business, and what elements would be essential to include?
Based on Jay Conner's experience, what is the most effective way to attract and secure commitments from private lenders? What can new investors learn from his story about his first $500,000 in private capital?

Fun facts that were revealed in the episode:

Jay Conner Raised Nearly $1 Million at Lunch
Jay Conner’s first private lender luncheon resulted in $969,000 pledged from just one event, where he invited 20 people—including his realtor, CPA, and attorney—for a simple lunch and a PowerPoint presentation about private money.
He’s Never Pitched a Deal or Asked for Money
Jay credits his “secret sauce” to never directly asking anyone for money or pitching a deal. Instead, he focuses on educating people about the opportunity and letting them come to him, which has led to 47 private lenders funding his real estate investments.
Minor Children as Private Lenders
Some of Jay’s private lenders have been under 18 years old. These minor children became lenders after inheriting money from their grandparents, with their parents seeking a better return on those funds by investing in Jay’s real estate projects.

Timestamps:

00:00 Jay Conner's real estate journey

04:07 Shifting from mobile homes to houses

09:16 Calling Jeff for financial advice

10:58 Learning About Private Money

15:21 Hypothetical role play for investing

19:16 Conservative investing approach discussion

22:19 Switching to private lenders

25:57 Asking for investment referrals

28:01 Doubling investor funds quickly

31:49 Using private money in real estate

35:54 Using retirement funds for real estate

37:52 Understanding Self-Directed IRAs

42:52 Contact information and final thoughts